Impr int The university of Waterloo’s official student newspaper
Friday, October 1, 2010
Arts & Entertainment USS takes the Bomber stage.
Vol 33, No
imprint . uwaterloo . ca
Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker draws a large crowd last week during an event put on by Feds.
Love Your Body Week.
An inside look at how the University of Waterloo helped students love their body with events last week.
Inside the mind of a regal representative
President David Johnston bids farewell to the University of Waterloo as he embarks on his new career as the next Governor General of Canada. Paula Trelinska staff reporter
t’s a privilege not many students have during their university careers, but just last week I was given the opportunity to speak with President David Johnston in his office. As I waited, nervous, unsure of what exactly to expect, I imagined Johnston’s office much like many likely would: large, spacious, well adorned, and slightly intimidating. When I walked in, it was not at all as I expected. The
office was spacious, but very modest and not at all intimidating. Bookshelves lined the walls behind his desk and a round table stood near the entrance in front of his desk. Motioning for me to sit down at the table, I did just that as Johnston immediately began asking me questions about myself. He wanted to know what program I was in, what I wanted to do when I graduate, if I’d studied for the LSATs yet. While I was there to interview him, he made sure to make me comfortable.
For the 11 years that Johnston has been president of the University of Waterloo, this scenario has repeated itself over and over again. Johnston, known for his polite kindness toward everyone, has always been sure to stop and chat or say a quick hello on the street. Stories of negative encounters with Johnston are not abounding on this campus; in fact, I haven’t heard a single one. Known not only for his personality but also his many academic and political achievements, this July, Johnston was selected to become the
next Governor General of Canada. While much hype surrounds his installation, for students of the university what is more important is not what he will be doing in the future but what he has done in the past. Given the chance to speak with Johnston, I was able to ask him a few questions about what he has done in the past 11 years, how this has affected the school, what this might mean for the future, and what it has meant to him. See JOHNSTON page 3
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010 email@example.com
Johnston talks UW’s tuition, reputation Outgoing president to be sworn in as GG today Ryan Webb news editor
Canada’s next Governor General, David Johnston, discusses his tenure as president of UW with Imprint at his office in Needle’s Hall on Sept. 23. Johnston will be installed as Canada’s Governor General on Oct. 1. Continued from front page
When asked about his greatest accomplishment during his presidency here at the university, Johnston said he has seen a number of interesting changes. “I think that perhaps the most marked one that we’ve become a more international university, we’ve become even more outwardly looking and I think we tend to gauge ourselves against the other distinctive institution in the world and in Canada,” he said. Bringing UW to the world was clearly part of Johnston’s plan throughout his 11-year presidency and was stated clearly as part of the sixth decade plan drafted in 2007. When Johnston began as president the university did not have any international campuses. Today there is the 2+2 program in Nanjing, China, the campus in Dubai, and an international architecture facility in Rome, Italy. “We’ve been having some discussions with one of the new Indian Institute of Technology and that may come to fruition as part of the Canada/India cooperation arrangement so I’m hopeful that we’ll see some more activity on that front,” explained Johnston. For students at home though, recent concerns have involved continually rising
tuition pricesthroughout Johnston’s years in office, with recent hikes as high as eight per cent for deregulated programs. Students are having more and more difficulty affording school and are in increasing need of help from many sources. “What we’ve also worked hard on is financial support for our students, so we have a policy that goes back seven or eight years now, where we guarantee any unmet need of our students with respect to OSAP or the equivalent provincial program,” Johnston said. “We’ve always been able to do that with a grant, not a loan.” While an education at Waterloo may be difficult to afford for some, it has also been ranked as the most innovative university in Canada by Macleans 18 years in a row. It has, however, lagged behind McGill in overall quality. “There are three categories, one is best quality, most innovative, and leaders of tomorrow. For 18 out of 18 years we have been most innovative,” Johnston explained. “For the last few years we have been leaders of tomorrow and then we have been second to McGill in quality. If you take those three as a composite for best reputation overall, we have been number one.” For Johnston though, Waterloo is not just about statistics and rankings. His favourite
memory, he says, is all the people and the students. “This is a great family and it’s been wonderful to be part of it.” And having worked with people at this university for a long time Johnston has learned a lot. “You accomplish things through other people. Leadership is recognizing your total dependence on the people around you and you need them engaged and pulling in the same direction and they carry,” he said. And of course, his advice to the successor of his role is to take great joy in the job, this is a privileged position to be the president of a Canadian university. When Johnston leaves he will be leaving not only over 20,000 students, and an 11-year legacy, but he will also be leaving his Heidelberg farm and the multitude of geese which inhabit the Waterloo region. He stated he doesn’t plan on selling his farm, as he is merely taking a “five year sabbatical” and plans to return to the region. As for the geese, “My dog won’t miss [them],” he laughed. “And I think it’s fair to say I will not miss the geese either. But there are a fair number of geese, I think, at Rideau Hall, and squirrels as well.” firstname.lastname@example.org
aving concluded his impactful tenure as UW’s president, His Excellency The Right Honourable David Johnston will be installed today as Canada’s top public official in an elaborate ceremony on Parliament Hill. James Moore, Minister of Canadian Heritage and Official Languages, announced the details of today’s event on Monday, noting that it is “one of the country’s most important state ceremonies.” Many of the events on today’s itinerary are mainstays of past GG installation ceremonies. These include a greeting from Prime Minister Stephen Harper and his wife, a formal ceremony in the Senate chambers, and a 21-gun salute. Other unique plans for the ceremony, in the spirit of the event’s theme “A Call to Service,” have been added with the approval of Johnston himself. Notably, in an effort to involve “ordinary Canadians,” Johnston will accept the gift of roses from a diverse group of Canadian citizens from across the country prior to his swearing in. Afterwards, in a poignant act of symbolism, Johnston will deliver the bouquet to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at the country’s National War Memorial. Johnston will be installed as Canada`s 28th Governor General, a crucial role in Canada’s government. The viceregal formally represents Canada’s head of state, Queen Elizabeth II, and acts as Commander-in-Chief of Canada’s militia. The role is also crucial in the context of the current minority parliament, because it is up to the Governor General to choose who will serve as prime minister in the event that no one party has a clear majority after a general election. His Excellency will return to Waterloo briefly next month. In his final scheduled appearance at UW, Johnston will be honoured at the morning session of the fall convocation. He will address graduating AHS and arts students, be recognized as president emeritus for being a former president of the university, and will receive an honorary doctor of laws degree. Readers that want to watch today’s ceremony live can do so at www.gg.ca. email@example.com
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
Luna Wei assistant news editor
Anger at McGill after student-run business closed
ELECTRONIC WARFARE: Victor Poon, known online as Antimage (right), does battle with Jon Eyolfson, (left), in a game of Blizzard Entertainment’s Starcraft 2 last Wednesday in the SLC. The match took place between rounds of UW Gamers’ Asus Starcraft Open, a competitive tournament that was the first of its kind to take place on campus. Dozens of spectators stopped to watch the proceedings, which awarded Antimage, ranked 79 in North America by Blizzard, with a pair of Asus headphones for winning the tournament.
McGill students returning to campus this fall were greeted with news that the architecture student-operated business, Arch Café, had closed. The decision came from McGill’s administration without any apparent student consultation. They claimed that the business was financially unsustainable. On Sept. 22, a group of more than 300 students rallied outside the university’s Leacock building to protest the decision. Since 2007, the café’s finances were managed by the administration. “We had no control of the money,” Katherine Messina, who managed the café, said. Many students remain skeptical about the university’s claims on financial instability as no business records have been released. The Student’s Society of McGill President briefly addressed the crowd standing atop a coffee cart. “Thank you for helping us send the message that we will not rest until the Arch Café is reopened,” they said. Earlier in the month, the Engineering Undergraduate Society and Architecture Students’ Association proposed reopening the café as a joint effort. However this was rejected by McGill’s head of Student Life and Learning Morton Mendelson, who said that “the administration is not willing to revisit this issue.” The Arch Café had a reputation of offering cheap and healthy food for students and providing a casual atmosphere for studying and socializing. One of the few remaining studentrun operations, this latest event has fuelled complaints that McGill is slowly crowding out student space on campus which led to little hesitation to protest. While McGill plans to transform the café into a student study space, some students are boycotting food services on campus. U of G seeks a better planet
The University of Guelph officially launched its global vision plan, the Better Planet Project, on Sept. 23.
An effort to promote the university’s global presence, the plan aims to raise $200 million in funding to provide opportunities to improve quality of life locally and internationally. “[Guelph] has the interdisciplinary expertise to make a difference, but we need to accelerate the pace of change,” University of Guelph President Alastair Summerlee commented on the plan’s purpose. “The world is at a critical point, and the University of Guelph is uniquely positioned to make a significant contribution.” The campaign for Better Planet Project has already reached a total of $88 million from donors to provide the tools and resources for the university to turn its innovation into practical, useful applications. Funding will focus on teaching support, research, curriculum innovation, and international collaboration. UBC journalism students take home Emmy Award
A group of 10 journalism graduate students and their professor, from the University of British Columbia, won an Emmy for outstanding investigative journalism for their investigative documentary, Ghana: Digital Dumping Ground. The documentary addressed electronic waste concerns by trailing electronic waste around the globe. A five-month effort, the group researched where discarded computer equipment was being sent. Using funding from the Mindset Foundation, a social justice non-profit group, the team split to visit the dump sites in West Africa, Hong Kong, and India. It aired on PBS’s Frontline in June 2009. Their visits led to the discovery of a market where con artists recovered hard drives from discarded computers to sell. The student group went undercover to purchase seven hard drives finding credit card information, photos, and government contracts. “We’re thrilled — you’re just kind of in shock when you hear the news,” said UBC graduate journalism school director Mary Lynn Young. — With files from The Better Planet Project, Guelph Mercury, Maclean’s, McGill Daily, The Link, and The Globe and Mail
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Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
Summit aims to improve intercountry adoption asssistant news editor
ast week, from Sept. 23-26, the City of Stratford played host to the University of Waterloo’s first Intercountry Adoption Summit at the Arden Park Hotel. The conference covered topics of international concern such as corruption and human trafficking. The four-day international summit was broken into two distinct gatherings that covered different perspectives of global adoption. The conference’s key organizers speech communication associate chair, Robert Ballard, and the dean of arts, Ken Coates, introduced the summit as being important to accompany the efforts of the Hague Convention on intercountry adoption. The Hague Convention, which is not legally binding, was established in 1993 to set standards for international adoption. Its aims are to protect the interests of adopted children, standardize international processes for intercountry adoption, and to prevent child abuse. With 84 countries agreeing with the convention, there is still a need to address the issue from a global perspective, that includes viewpoints of countries that have not agreed to the convention’s standards.
Eduardo Ramirez staff reporter
Azra Premji staff reporter
Riaz Nathu reporter
India plans to ID 1.2 billion citizens
Last Wednesday, India’s Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. launched a massive government program to identify each of its 1.16 billion residents. The program, “Aadhaar,” or “foundation” in Hindi, is slated to cost upwards of $6 billion U.S. and uses fingerprints and iris scans to identify all Indian residents. The initiative has called upon India’s global talent working at corporations such as Snapfish, Google Inc. Yahoo Inc. and Intel Corp. to take on the most ambitious identification program to date. The program seeks to rectify the fraud that has plagued government programs and ensure that the right people are benefiting. Beyond use in government programs, the newly-issued 12-digit ID number could be used in everything from banking to buying a new cell phone. Privacy proponents believe that this program could enable discrimination by caste and religion,
The Intercountry Adoption Summit aims to fill this need with the inclusion of non-governmental representatives that purport to represent the children involved directly. There was also an effort to introduce the subject matter in broader terms, drawing on interdisciplinary and inter-sector influences. The summit’s first gathering took place on Thursday and Friday. Representatives from countries where children are adopted from and where they are brought to were both in attendance. Representives came from such places as Canada, the United States, India, Haiti, France, and Bulgaria. Delegates shared best practices, told of their own experiences, considered current and future trends, and discussed the status of international adoption governance. On Thursday morning, Peter Selman of Newcastle University, UK held a keynote presentation on recent trends in intercountry adoption, which discussed the decline of intercountry adoption. On Friday, a second keynote presentation by Trish Maskew, of Washinton College of Law, covered implementing your recommendations best practices for maximum impact. Following the presentations, participating representatives held
roundtable discussions on topics of concern. The second half of the conference focused on theoretical aspects of intercountry adoption. With an attendance of more than 30 scholars in disciplines such as psychology, health, and social work, the summit’s second aim was to share new findings and explore ideas in adoption. Seven concurrent research panels discussed intercountry adoption in relation to sociology, law, health, and cultural studies. In the spirit of its multidisciplinary nature, the summit concluded with a wide-ranging list of action items, which representatives agreed should be addressed in order to improve the intercountry adoption regime. The recomendations included following the Hague Convention in cases where the countries involved were not part of the agreement, emphasizing the interests of children and families, and increasing transparency. Future plans for the summit’s organizers include producing at least one volume of reports on the summit’s fundings regarding the current state of research. Furthermore, the report will likely provide country-specific data on practical aspects of international adoption processes.
as information requested from residents is extensive. However, government officials are convinced it is vital to offering effective public services to individuals in need.
them to seek customers on street corners. Several Canadian human rights organizations called for decriminalizing prostitution and for the right to open brothels to provide a safer environment for prostitutes.
Court rules Canada’s prostitution laws are unconstituional
Government representatives will appeal an Ontario court ruling that will effectively decriminalize prostitution and legalize brothels, Justice Minister Rob Nicholson said Wednesday. “Prostitution is a problem that harms individuals and it harms communities, and this is why I’m pleased to indicate to the House that the government will appeal and will seek a stay on that decision,” Nicholson said in the House of Commons. On Tuesday, the Ontario Superior Court declared that portions of the act banning brothels and soliciting were unconstitutional, lifting key barriers to prostitution. This ruling affects only the Province of Ontario, but if it is carried on appeal, it could halt enforcement of anti-prostitution laws across all of Canada. Three Toronto women launched the legal challenge in October 2009, arguing that prohibiting solicitation endangers prostitutes by forcing
Barriers to effective intercountry adoption: • Lack of finances for administrative support • Unwillingness to adopt the rule of law • Misinformation regarding the adoption process • The commodification of children • Coupling adoptions with humanitarian assistance
Governments warn of potential new wave of terrorist attacks
For weeks now, as missiles from American drones have snuffed out their leaders and terrorized their recruits in the remote mountains of Pakistan’s North Waziristan area, Al Qaeda fighters have kept their spirits up by telling each other they were about to have their revenge. Al Qaeda declared that Europeans and Americans think “our minds and bodies are in the mountains of the [Pakistani] tribal areas, but soon we will carry out a visible offensive with long-term consequences in their own Western homes and cities.” Reports out of Britain suggest that more than a mere threat may be at work. According to anonymous sources cited by Sky News’ foreign-affairs editor Tim Marshall, intelligence agencies have uncovered terrorist plans to launch simultaneous commandostyle attacks in Germany, France, and Britain that would be reminiscent of the slaughter in Mumbai almost two years ago.
These attacks have are a major concern to Western police forces because they require no special weaponry, just guns and training, and a will to die fighting. One of the more significant U.S. drone strikes reportedly killed the head of Al Qaeda’s operations in Afghanistan and Pakistan, known as Shaikh Fateh just last Saturday. A CIA source declared that Al Qaeda plot was in an advanced but not imminent stage and that intelligence agencies had been tracking the operatives for some time. The anxiety among intelligence agencies in Europe is plain to see. In Paris, the Eiffel Tower was evacuated last night, the second time this month, because of a bomb threat that turned out to be hoax.
European Intelligence services suggested that potential attackers may come from the ranks of Al Qaeda sympathizers who have trained in Afghanistan, Yemen, or Somali, or they may be converts to Islam, some of whom become more zealous, and more violent, than people brought up in the faith. The final possibility is that they may be affiliated with Al Qaeda’s franchise in North Africa, which grew out of Algeria’s infamous Armed Islamic Group (GIA) and has experience mounting attacks in France dating back to the 1990s. — With files from The Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and Globe and Mail.
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Loving your body is not always easy
IMPRINT The University of Waterloo’s official student newspaper
Friday, October 1, 2010 Vol. 33, No. 11
Board of Directors email@example.com President, E Aboyeji firstname.lastname@example.org Vice-president, Angela Gaetano email@example.com Treasurer, Howard Leung firstname.lastname@example.org Secretary, Erin Thompson email@example.com Staff liaison, Keriece Harris firstname.lastname@example.org Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Brent Golem Head Reporter, vacant Lead Proofreader, Divyesh Mistry Cover Editor, vacant News Editor, Ryan Webb News Assistant, Luna Wei Opinion Editor, Clara Shin Opinion Assistant, Lindsay Simmons Features Editor, Dinh Nguyen Features Assistant, Zoe Kim Arts & Entertainment, Michael Chung Arts Assistant, Marta Borowska Science & Tech Editor, Jordan Campbell Science & Tech Assistant, Jennifer Nguyen Sports & Living Editor, vacant Sports & Living Assistant, Namish Modi Photo Editor, Ethan Oblak Photo Assistant, Sophie Côté Graphics Editor, Alcina Wong Graphics Assistant, Majuratan Sadagopan Production Staff Stephen Kearse, Sophia Wong, Winona So, Nadia Belsito, Gabriela Grant, Anuj Vasishta, Andrew Chin, Jocelyn Phung, Vanesa Sale, Roya Abyaneh, Ronald Chui, Jiashu Zheng, Katie Meredith, Paul McGeown, Grace Chan, Ella Chen, Jessica Pellow, Muhammad Rohail Siddiqui, Natasha Peer, Ivan Lui, Jacqueline Lee, Tammy Chou, Mika Ilic, Renée Chartrand, Jacqueline McKoy Lambert, Michelle Sterba Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request. Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our code of ethics and journalistic standards. Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122. Next staff meeting: Monday, Oct. 4 12:30 p.m. Next board of directors meeting: Friday, October 1 12:30 p.m.
s a young woman, I will be the first to admit that I have struggled with my self-image. Whether wanting to lose 10 pounds in high school or wishing my chest was a cup size or two larger, I suffer from something that I would assume about 95 per cent of females do (at least every one of my girlfriends does.) I’ve even wondered if my life would be easier if I had curly hair. That’s right. I have self-esteem issues. I truly believe, however, that even the prettiest, tallest and thinnest models on Earth also struggle with the way their body looks, so I’m in good company. Everyday we hear of celebrities that we think have amazing lives getting arrested for doing drugs or driving under the influence of alcohol. Maybe their lives aren’t so great after all. The media definitely plays an important role in the way young women, or young people, feel about themselves. It seems like we are constantly reminded of how we should look and what we should perceive as being normal, with most advertisements featuring youthful and attractive people. It’s only slightly encouraging to see that plussized models and models of varying ethnicities are making their debut in the world of commercialism (thank goodness.) And we wonder why so many suffer from eating disorders. If you’re not completely happy with your selfimage, can you still live with it? As much as I often joke around about my butt being too big, I can
Love Your Body Week was the perfect prelude to reshaping our thoughts and feelings about what we should believe the acceptable body image is — and that is, there is no acceptable body image.
absolutely say that, minor imperfections and all, I love my body. I take care of myself, eat right, and exercise everyday. So what does it mean to love your body? This week at the University of Waterloo, people, women specifically, were challenged to ask themselves this question. An entire week was dedicated to getting to know your body and exploring some of the issues that people have with their bodies, while tackling some very serious issues that are sometimes a result of the ridiculous expectations the media has set out for us. Some of the events that took place on campus for Love Your Body Week included a bust-casting, a sex toy workshop and information sessions on AIDS, women’s sexual health, body image, and eating disorders. Oh, and there was also a hip-hop dance class. It was the perfect prelude to reshaping our thoughts and feelings about what we should believe
the acceptable body image is — and that is, there is no acceptable body image. Every single human being on this planet is different, so why can’t we just encourage people to embrace what we have and work with it? I’m personally so incredibly sick and tired of hearing about stories of young females taking drastic measures to fit in with society. Girls who get told that they’re not thin enough, not pretty enough and not good enough, when in reality, no one is perfect. Now, as an educated, and what I would like to consider, experienced woman, I am over the fact that no matter how hard I try, I can’t get rid of the fat on my thighs. I am totally OK with being a mere five feet tall and have finally come to terms with the fact that there is no chance in hell I could ever be a supermodel. My hope is that one day, society will be OK with that too.
A wake up call for Canadian voters email@example.com
ith municipal elections approaching, it is interesting to take a closer look at elections happening elsewhere. Granted, no election issue abroad could even graze the level of excitement generated by the water fluoridation issue here, but we can draw comparisons nonetheless. (That was a test of your Emergency Sarcasm Detection System. If you failed to roll your eyes or strangle a goose in frustration, you should probably check your batteries.) One of the most-looked-at statistics after any election is voter turnout, and in Canada this number has been declining (federally, anyway) since 1993. In fact, voter turnout in Canada’s last federal election (in October of 2008) was down five per cent from the previous election; just 58.8 per cent of eligible voters cast a ballot. This number looks monolithic beside the mere 26.3 per cent of eligible voters who participated in this region’s last municipal election. If you were to ask persons of voting age why they chose not to participate, they’d offer the same tired excuses: “There were tens of thousands of fake voter registra-
tion cards,” “The polling clerk decides who I vote for anyway,” and the most tired of clichés, “I didn’t want to be torn asunder by a rocket.” Valid concerns, all, if you’re a voter in Afghanistan, anyway, where parliamentary elections took place on Sept. 18. There were
ballot box (fact: you can’t even chew Jell-O if you’re using a ballot in place of teeth). The worrying part – the part that sheds considerable doubt on achieving any semblance of lasting stability in the country – is that fear for one’s well-being is likely not the strongest deterrent to Afghan voters.
Regardless, every one of us needs to appreciate that we can venture out to the polls without a flak jacket, that ought to be reason enough to participate.
396 incidences of violence on election day, a number that really only includes the incidences reported by NATO troops. Twentyone civilians were killed, as were nine Afghan police officers. You can probably see where this is headed. Three hundred and ninety-six incidences of violence. In Canada, we have 39 incidences of seniors accidentally depositing their dentures in the
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The strongest deterrent, instead, is the same concern that Canadians voice ad nauseam prior to an election: “I’m one person. My vote won’t make a difference.” I’m not going to repeat the same rebuttal we’ve all heard; I will, however, tell you that in Afghanistan it is a legitimate concern. There is a veritable laundry list of accusations that – if true – render the election an absolute
farce. Among the 1,000 “potentially-significant” claims of fraud: polling clerks intimidated voters into voting for certain candidates, children were allowed to vote, the indelible ink used to mark citizens who had already voted proved to be washable, and, there were reports of Afghans purchasing additional voter cards at the polling centres themselves. This isn’t the full extent of the Afghan election drama, but it provides a general sense of why Afghans are disillusioned with what the Americans steadfastly refer to as “democracy.” Of course, you wouldn’t know that by the numbers: voter turnout in one district of Paktia province was reported as six hundred and twenty-six per cent (for those keeping track at home, that’s a 919 per cent increase over Waterloo voter turnout). Of course, you might be of the (paranoid) mind that our government fixes our elections too; they simply sell it better. Regardless, every one of us needs to appreciate that we can venture out to the polls without a flak jacket, that ought to be reason enough to participate. With files from Andrew Heard, Anti-War, al Jazeera, and AP News
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
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’ve come to the conclusion that eating popcorn induces cannibalism. Granted, there are a bunch of foods that will make you want to lick your chops, but I’ve specially selected this item here because of its buttery yet thin, salty layer. It leaves more to be desired. And you can’t get that with chocolate, caramel, or any other of those thick coatings or layerings of flavour. There’s a long, rather grand tradition of stories about what happens to you when you eat human flesh. Some are comical and light, others are darker, scarier and more to the point. The most recent one I’ve read is rooted in Indian or Aboriginal myth in which a person’s stature was said to grow to a monstrous height, sometimes nine feet tall and that you could see its shadow long before it ever found you. That’s not myth to me though but more like the stuff of legend. You can compare it to the legend of Bigfoot or the Sasquatch, the Aboriginal version of that faceless, nameless monster lurking in the back of the woods, but it would never find you. And it certainly wouldn’t punish you the way a real flesh-eater would. So why stick to popcorn when there are so many other possibilities, right? The answer doesn’t lie within morals or faith alone. The general old-age adage stipulates that we are what we eat. So why would you want to be someone else? Or to put it more bluntly, why would you want to become exactly like
someone else, in every way that is possible from a kinetic, molecular, and physical level? What if that other person’s fissures, sinews, and genes should somehow override and overpower your own, thereby killing you or at least causing some sort of permanent mutation? Could you afford to risk that? I’m not sure I would. Take vampires, for instance. These guys don’t feed off flesh, but only survive by drinking other people’s blood. That’s sacrosanct, sacriligeous, and a big no-no in nearly every place I’ve looked. Yet they’re the undead — they can only survive for so long and if they don’t get blood when they need it, their entire existence is placed at risk. But what an existence — to be unable to emerge outside in the daytime for fear that you would perish by the sun’s rays — sounds as if you’d been turned to ice or something, causing you to “melt” in a sense. Then there’s the whole business of blood compatability. These days if you donate blood they’ll ask for your specific blood type and then they’ll only donate your blood to an individual who has the same type. So if you’re Type A, you’re only going to be receiving blood from another individual with Type A. This guarantees that you won’t fall sick because you got the wrong blood type. So when we’re that sensitive to another person’s bodily fluids, how can we possibly stomach (and survive) eating another person’s flesh? Or maybe the question should be, how do vampires do it?
You run out of provisions, so you turn on each other. The scary thing about it, is that it proves that there are no limits.
Flesh isn’t like food though. Most people who’ve been driven to it usually do it out of desperation – generally freezing their asses off in the Arctic, looking for lost gold, or something bigger than themselves when they’re forced to encounter that bigger something within their own limits. You run out of provisions, so you turn on each other. The scary thing about it, is that it proves that there are no limits. I mean, why not choose to die, right? But no. There exist those sedate, sadistic individuals who are willing to go to any length to salvage their persons and their own livelihood. And they don’t give a rat’s ass how, when or why it’s done. So ask yourself — would you do it? If you knew that there was a way out for you that some people would eventually find and rescue you if you could only find a way to hold on a few days more, would you do it? Perhaps you’ll have come to the conclusion like me that you’ve got an unhealthy appetite for anything new and that perhaps, just maybe, you would. Now don’t be judging me here: I’m not saying I’d gladly slice and dice the next person who comes along; but I am stipulating that we are prone to trying and doing new things. That’s just the way the world works. So take it from me. Next time you’re famished, go for some of those nice, biscuit-y lady fingers. Leave the real stuff for when you really need it.
Campus Bulletin UPCOMING EVENTS October 2010 Rotunda Gallery presents “Forlorn Factories: Found Beauty in Kitchener’s Industrial Landscapes” by Brian Douglas from October 1 to 31. Reception October 7 from 5 to 7 p.m. For more info 519-741-3400, ext 3381. Friday, October 1, 2010 Aquatic Expo and free swim celebra-
tion of the reopening of the Swimplex from 6 to 10 p.m. at 101 Father David Bauer Drive, Waterloo. For more info www.waterloo.ca/swim Wednesday, October 13, 2010 WANTED: Donors – “We’ve Got You Covered,” United Way and UW fundraiser, is needing winter coats and jackets in good, clean condition, by October 13. You can drop off at HH 3152
or DWE 2513K or call ext 38120 or ext 35618 for more info. Sunday, October 17, 2010 “Expression and Vision – A Fall Exhibition” at Homer Watson House & Gallery at 1754 Old Mill Road, Kitchener. Reception from 2 to 4 p.m. For more info 519-748-4377. Monday, October 19, 2010 WANTED: Buyers – shoppers for
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Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010 firstname.lastname@example.org United Way and UW “We’ve Got You Covered” fundraiser used coat and jacket sale, Multi Purpose Room, SLC, from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. today and October 20. Adult to children sizes. Cash only. For more info call ext 38120 or ext 35618. Canadian Federation of University Women, KW, presents “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” at 7:30 p.m.. For more info www.cfuwkw.org or 519740-5249. New members welcome! Saturday, October 23, 2010 “An Evening For Matangwe” – join us for an evening of dancing, steel drums, food, silent auction, etc at the Kitchener Portuguese Club. For more info www.caringpartners.com.
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UW RECREATION EVENTS Wednesday, October 13: Balance Disorders, Dizziness and Vertigo, NH1116, 12 noon with speaker Gaettanne Aggerholm, Registered Physiotherapist; please register. Sunday, October 17: “Hike at Schneiders Woods, near Erbsville” from 2 to 4 pm. No dogs or baby buggies please. Wednesday, November 24: Feng Shui Discussion Group, MC 5136, 12 noon – all welcome. Sunday, November 28: “Peter Pan Pantomime” at St. Jacobs Country Playhouse. UWRC Book Club, Wednesdays at 12 noon in LIB 407 - all welcome! October 20: “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert ; November 17: “To Kill A Mockingbird” by Harper Lee ; December 21: “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie
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STUDENT AWARDS & FINANCIAL AID Go to safa.uwaterloo.ca for a full listing of scholarships and awards.
CAREER SERVICES WORKSHOPS Refer to www.careerservices.uwaterloo. ca for all fall term workshops.
Saturday, October 9 – 29th Annual Pancake Breakfast Saturday, October 9 – 32nd Annual Great Oktoberfest Barrel Race Monday, October 11 – Thanksgiving Day Parade November 2010 – UpTown Waterloo BIA Annual General Meeting November 4-6 – UpTown Waterloo Treasure Hunt Saturday, November 20 – Santa Claus Parade November 2010 – Holiday Open House December 2010 – FREE Horse Drawn Trolley Rides December 2010 – Victorian Carolers For more information about the above events call 519-885-1921 or email email@example.com or www. uptownwaterloobia.com.
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Science & Technology
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010 firstname.lastname@example.org
Musing on the people behind the science Luke Bovard 4a mathematical physics
courtesy wikimedia commons
tephen Hawking once wrote that for every equation you have in a book, you halve the sales. This presents an immediate problem to a mathematical physicist wanting to talk about physics. The language we use to communicate with each other is full of funny looking Greek symbols, slashes through random letters, and indices in all possible locations around a variable. It’s suitable reading material for curing insomnia. Instead, I propose a different sort of column on physics; one that will be less inducive to sleep. Imagine you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of having to read the giant tomes that are physics textbooks. Amongst the dense collection of formulas, you’ll see a variety of names you have attached to equations; maybe even a photo of the discoverer or, rarely, a brief three-sentence biography. You see names like Newton, Maxwell, Einstein, Ampere, Euler, Lagrange, Bernoulli, Gauss, and so on. There seems to be an endless supply of names. At one time, these people were living breathing humans and carried all the baggage that human beings carry along with them. They ate, slept, breathed, and loved, just like the rest of us. Fortunately for us, some of them did these things in
very amusing ways, and this information has not been lost in the generations since they were alive. I propose a thought experiment, or if you want to impress your friends, a Gedanken experiment. When someone asks you to conjure up an image of a physicist, who do you think of ? Perhaps it’s a person with crazy hair and a lab coat, wearing socks with sandals. Or maybe you thought of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. He is, in my mind, the stereotypical personality that people associate with physicists; socially awkward and geeky. Yet, there are very few physicists who actually conform to the stereotype that is represented by Sheldon Cooper. Erwin Schrodinger (the famous physicist with the cat) had a very open relationship with his wife and they both reportedly had lovers outside of their marriage. Richard Feynman was a notorious prankster and free-spirit who loved to play the bongos and sing. If we want to get very modern, Brian May, the curly haired guitarist from Queen, has a PhD in astrophysics. The goal of this column is to present some stories about these people, who may have been just bland names on a page to you. This is a reminder that they were once alive like you. I will discuss their contributions to science but more importantly, share some amusing story or
anecdote about their life that reveals their humanity. I feel that if you are able to relate to someone and remember something about that same person, you more easily remember what they did. Let me pick one of the most famous scientists to have ever lived: Albert Einstein. I’m sure you’re familiar with his famous E=mc2 equation (I suppose I violated the rule Hawking stated, but he also wrote down this one equation in his book so I think I’m safe), but one of his major contributions to physics was his general theory of relativity. It took Einstein almost eight years to write down the theory mathematically. He had a firm conceptual grasp as early as 1907, yet the paper about general relativity was not published until 1915. Even then, only a month before he published, he noticed a key mistake in his equations that required modification. One of the main reasons it took so long is that Einstein had a difficult time learning the math required to express his theory. Despite being considered one of great geniuses of our time, he struggled to learn something that so many of us take in our first year of university. Einstein was like many people who have difficulty with mathematics, leading him to quip to “not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.”
UW cell service and the lack thereof Jennifer Nguyen assistant science &
he University of Waterloo has turned into a no cell phone zone. Several Bell and Telus clients have been experiencing poor network reception on campus the past couple of weeks. Users have been complaining that they are unable to receive or make phone calls anywhere on campus. Some have even resorted to going to the University Plaza to make their phone calls where reception is normal. The problem only affects clients
Do you have information or comments on this developing story?
using Bell’s and Telus’s HSPA network. In fact, the two companies have a network agreement that allows them to share the same cell tower. Older phones on the CDMA network appear to be unaffected. Adrian Safati, a second year engineering student, phoned Bell’s customer service to inquire about the issue and was not pleased by their response. “They told me that they are aware of the situation and are working to solve it,” he said. Please see next week’s Imprint for a further investigation of this problem. —With files from The University of Waterloo Daily Bulletin.
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Science & Technology
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
TECH TALK Jennifer Nguyen assistant science
& technology editor
RIM unveils PlayBook
After months of rumours and anticipation, Research in Motion (RIM) finally announced the arrival of a BlackBerry tablet computer. Co-CEO Mike Lazaridis showed off the seven-inch PlayBook to the media on Monday at a developer’s conference in San Francisco, calling it “the world’s first professional tablet.” The device, meant to rival Apple’s iPad, has touchscreen capabilities, two built-in cameras, and supports high-definition video for gaming and entertainment. It features the built-in security system that RIM’s BlackBerry smartphones are known for, but will run on a different operating system created by QNX Software Systems. The release of the PlayBook is RIM’s attempt to maintain its presence as an innovative technology firm. The hope is that that the PlayBook will appeal to both consumers and business users, and in particular current BlackBerry smartphone users. It is designed to be BlackBerry-friendly so that users can connect their BlackBerries for added screen space and enhanced capabilities. The PlayBook will be available in the U.S. in early 2011 with a Canadian launch later in the year. New laser device can detect disease
Researchers introduced a laser device that can be used to detect early signs of certain diseases. The technique, known as Raman spectroscopy, uses a painless laser beam to measure the intensity and wavelength of scattered light from molecules. When
Disease and lasers shone on unhealthy human tissue, this Raman spectrum will appear different from a Raman spectrum of healthy tissue due to the differences in chemical composition in the tissues. Compared to other diagnostic tools, this method is faster, cheaper, and more accurate. Patients simply need to place their hand in a silicone holder where lasers will project out of. The machine then collects and interprets the signals in a matter of seconds. So far, this method can be used to detect early signs of breast cancer, tooth decay, and osteoporosis. While the method isn’t available for mass use yet, researchers say that the technology will be widely available in five years and even has the potential to replace X-rays as a diagnostic tool. Quantum computing closer to reality
Australian researchers have made a significant breakthrough in the field of quantum computing. Compared to regular computers, quantum computers have the ability to carry out many calculations simultaneously by using the laws of quantum physics. Data can be written to an electron by changing its spin state and read from an electron by measuring its spin– two things that were not attainable until now. In an article published in the journal Nature this week, engineers from the University of New South Wales and the University of Melbourne have developed an instrument to read information from electrons. The device they created can measure the spin state of an electron of a single phosphorus atom inside a block of silicon. Although quantum computers are
not intended for everyday computing, they will play an important role in computer intensive tasks such as cracking encryption coding, searching large databases, and modelling atomic systems like biological molecules. Barcodes appearing on TV
Barcodes are making their way to the small screen. Television viewers in the U.S. may have noticed that barcodes are appearing on some commercials lately. This is so viewers can scan the barcode with their smartphones and get instant access to further information about the product being featured, a clever way of extending the commercial for interested viewers. So far, the technology can only be seen on select commercials on Bravo, the Weather Channel, and HBO. The online retailer Bluefly.com is currently incorporating barcodes in their ads to direct viewers to videos and images of their merchandise along with a $30 discount on purchases of $150 or more. This summer, HBO featured a red and black bar code on promos of the show “True Blood” to link viewers to an online video clip. While the technology is still relatively new in North America, it is quite common in Asia and Europe. This is because there isn’t a standard barcode available for use. Furthermore, there aren’t as many smartphone users here in North America to take advantage of the technology. However, it is expected that as the number of smartphone users grow, the use of barcodes will become more mainstream. —With files from the Globe & Mail, New York Times, BBC, and CBC.
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Science & Technology
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
Migraines and mammaries Ivan Lui staff reporter
Genes creating further headaches
studies have found the DNA that is associated with the cause of migraines, but they have not been able to identify the specific gene. “What we’ve found is that migraines seem to depend on how excitable our nerves are in specific parts of the brain. Finding the key player which controls this excitability will give us a real opportunity to find a new way to fight migraines and improve the quality of life for those suffering.” Cader said. While a medication or a way to activate this gene is still far off, scientists are filled with confidence that with an isolated gene, research would be easier to accomplish. Peter Goadsby, trustee of The Migraine Trust said that there could also be ways of developing therapies to help those with migraines as well.
A new study released by Nature Medicine has suggested that a gene that is flawed may be the cause of migraines. This flawed gene can appear in a family that has migraine sufferers. The study comes from Oxford, led by Dr. Zameel Cader, who says that this helps explain why one in five people have migraines. Migraines are headaches that are usually felt at the front or side of the head that are usually long lasting. The World Health Organization (WHO) calls it one of the leading causes for disability. The studies conducted by Cader, with help from the Medical Research Council’s Functional Genomics Unit, found a gene called TRESK which is Infections reduced by the cause of migraines in some people. breastfeeding Due to the genes flaw, some environA study of 1,000 vaccinated inments can cause certain areas of the brain to trigger a pain, causing the fants recently released by Archives headaches. To conduct this research, of Diseases in Childhood showed genes from families which have mi- that regardless of other factors such as healthcare or vaccinations, breastgraines were collected to be studied. “It opens new avenues for planning feeding can help reduce infection new research which possibly could chances. The study suggests that it is the composition of the breast’s milk then lead to new treatments... but of course it’s a long road.” Dr Aarno Pa- that helps. This effect can only arrive lotie, from the Wellcome Trust Sanger from straightforward breastfeeding, giving a child a bottle and breast Institute, said. With the discoveryFile ofName: sb_SPSP_10_3125x7_5_Waterloo_2 Size: 10.3125” x 7.5” feeding will not have the same effect. this new Canadian gene, Palotie said, scientists Marketing Type Safety :The study comprised of 926 can also find a drug the gene 100 Yonge Street,to 6thactivate Floor Colours: infants, CMYK which the researcher studied Toronto, ON M5C 2W1 that is causing the migraines. Previous
and recorded any infections that were common during the first 12 months of their lives. These infants all had access to healthcare and vaccinations. Within the study, 91 of the total infants were exclusively breast fed, while almost two-thirds of mothers were breastfeeding at one month, but this figure dropped to just under a fifth at six months. In a surprise, those who were either only breastfed or not breastfed at all had fewer infections. Some such infections can be those of the ears. “Mothers should be advised by health professionals that, in addition to all the other benefits, exclusive breastfeeding helps prevent infections in babies and lessens the frequency and severity of infectious episodes,” the researchers say. “We know that breastfeeding is the default method of infant feeding for babies; good for mothers and good for the health of the nation. That is why we need to continue our efforts to ensure that we maintain a high rate of breastfeeding in the UK. The UK needs to see breastfeeding as a normal process, and to move away from some of the outdated and negative stigma that is depressingly still attached to it, specifically breastfeeding in public.” Prof. Emmanouil Galanakis, department of paediatrics, University of Publication: Imprint Crete, has said that it is a substance Material Deadline: Aug. 16, 2010 known as colostrum, which is passed Sept 3,milk, 2010that helps. to Insertion the babydates: via breast Initials: SP Colostrum contains high amounts
of carbohydrates, antibodies, and protein. The substance is also easier for babies to digest. Statistics in the U.S. shows that breastfeeding beyond the two months is not popular. Scientists suggest, however, that a healthy baby should be on a breastfed diet exclusively for the first six months to ensure that they are having a healthy start to life. Leaden Garden
With the increase in popularity in home front or backyard gardens, researchers in the Indiana UniversityPurdue University Indianapolis have looked into soil qualities. Dr. Gabriel Filippelli, a geochemist teaching at the university has said that gardeners should look into quality of soils within your area or face chances of contamination. Planting and eating plants in soil that has a high lead level could affect bodily organs such as the kidney. “Most surface contamination in urban settings like Baltimore, Brooklyn, Detroit or Indianapolis is from harmful metals, especially lead, and tends to be found near roadways, older homes or lead smelters. Sources of contamination can be automobile exhaust, degraded paint, tire and vehicle debris, industrial emissions or other products of human technology,” said Filippelli. His advice for gardeners so far is to check on maps that depict how close
the garden will be to major roads, construction areas, working factories, busy highways etc. Vegetables that are close to the ground will almost definitely be contaminated by the metals that wear off roads or other surfaces that have traces of metallic elements. Areas that have less than 200 ppm (parts per million) of metallic elements can be planted safely. Anything between 200-500 ppm, however, will require a bed setting and mulching between beds to prevent any metal from entering the soil. Anything higher than 500 ppm, warns Filippelli, would definitely need to be rootless. Tall fruit trees would be safe for eating, but anything that has roots would definitely require a bedding at least 10 feet around the perimeter of the garden. “Urban gardens are powerful tools for personal health and for neighbourhood revitalization. These plots should be encouraged but need to be tended with special care to ensure that lead does not adhere to the food children and adults are consuming,” said Filippelli who has studied lead contamination in urban soil for almost a decade. “Environmental awareness can ensure that a garden is a healthy place to work and that food is safe to eat and share.” —With files from Science Daily, EmaxHealth, BBC, and Macleans. firstname.lastname@example.org
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Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010 firstname.lastname@example.org
ve your body
Dinh Nguyen features editor
et’s talk about figures. A total of $50 billion dollars; the amount of money North Americans spend on weight-loss products, programs, and literature a year. An astonishing $12.4 billion; the amount of money spent on cosmetic surgeries in 2006. Zero; the number of people who are told to feel comfortable in their bodies by most mainstream media. Cliché as it sounds, the reality is that although there is so much more to life, we live in a world that dehumanizes its people and manipulates them into setting unrealistic standards for themselves and for others. With the boom in media development through pop culture and the Internet in the past decade, it is more important than ever to learn how to love your body. Unfortunately for UW students, most are not aware of, or offered the opportunity to educate ourselves in this matter. This past week the UW Women’s Centre, like many other colleges and universities’ centres, hosted their annual Love Your Body Week celebration. The events which took place throughout the week, similar to last year , as a result of limited volunteers and other resources,
were a lot smaller and lacked purpose compared to those held a few years ago. In 2006, the goal of the celebration was to “raise awareness about body image issues, eating disorders, being sexual and mentally and physically and emotionally healthy (see Imprint, November 24, 2006).” This year, while The Women Centre’s co-ordinators chose not to comment on their goals for the celebration before press time, in recent past, the Love Your Body Week schedule had a strong focus on raising awareness about body image issues and eating disorders. These issues are most detrimental to university students as they can be triggered by or magnified by periods of extreme change, emotional turmoil or stress, which are common among students. Critics may point out that events on such issues may be done in collaboration with UW Health Services which would not strain much of the Women’s Centre’s resources. Though more could have been done to foster the spirit of Love Your Body week, ultimately the events held by the Women’s Centre this year were great resources for those who attended. However, it could be argued that the most effective in promoting a positive body image were traditions carried on through previous Love Your Body Weeks like the
bust castings and the sex toy education workshops. While the bust casting encouraged women to love, and make art of their breast, it also served as a foundation to help women un-objectify their chest — reclaiming parts of their bodies from a misogynistic society. The sex toy education workshops run by a UW student, and sex toy business owner, Tynan Bramberger, created an environment for people to explore and reclaim their bodies through sexuality. Social sexual taboos surrounding sex toys and a woman’s sex life did not exist at the workshops, which is often the case in other situations. Throughout Western history, there has been a trend of women not being allowed to take ownership of their sexuality. Though our society still represses women’s sexuality, cultural changes are slowly shifting towards gender equality In the 19th Century, female orgasms were not topic of pleasure, they were a diagnosis. Women who were said to be hysterical would end up in the doctor’s office where the doctor would use a phallic-shaped tool to help them achieve an orgasm. Because doing it by hand was tiring, the vibrating phallic was eventually invented. Since then the vibrator has developed other purposes.
See DISCOVER page 16.
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
Understanding clubs, Part 1 of 2 Anum Arif reporter
All tied up
ur club has been sitting in limbo since early 2010. Nearly an entire term has passed, and Counselling Services is denying us a response of either ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ The process of approving a club generally takes less than a month. We have received approval from Feds Internal Admissions Committee (IAC)/Clubs and Services, Police Services, and support from Health Services. A prominent figure in Feds even stated that our club constitution was one of the best they had ever read,” said Steve Livermore, one of the founders of the Dominatrix and Fetish Club (D&F) in a speech written last winter. Starting a Feds club can be a long process, and depending on the type of club, it might be even more difficult. Some clubs go through all the right procedures and they still gets rejected. This is exactly what happened to the D&F club. The club’s name itself has negative connotations. “What kinds of activities would this club have?” asked second-year science student, Anna Guo. “This club should not be associated with a prestigious university [like UW]. We are here to study,” said fourth-year student, Amy Malcolm. With comments like these, it is no surprise that the D&F club has not become an official club. The problem with a club like the D&F is that it bears sexual stigmas, and what some consider to be taboo. As a result they have to work harder to educate and articulate ideas before they are taken seriously. According to a letter sent to the Feds IAC, contrary to first impressions, the D&F club does not set out to offend, but to fill a void in the inclusive UW community: “We feel that no club or society that is currently included in Feds Clubs and Societies focuses on such alternative interests as our proposed club. We would like to create and advertise ourselves as a safe haven for those with alternative interests such as our own,” the letter states. “These interests can include but are not limited to: alternative sexual practices, burlesque, pin up, current sex culture and related non-mainstream interests. An important aspect of our club is to bring non-mainstream scenes to the surface, and to allow students of all nature to participate in these scenes. In this aspect, our club is very unique in comparison to many other current clubs and brings unordinary opportunities to students who are enthusiastic or simply interested in exploring such topics. This club also gives opportunities to consolidate like-minded students into a social scene that would otherwise be extremely hard, if not impossible, to find at the University of Waterloo.” The process of starting this club began in the fall of 2009 when Livermore had the idea for it. He originally wanted to start something completely different from the services or clubs that were already at Waterloo. Something people would enjoy, something that no other university had thought of, and something that would leave a mark for the students to remember. After pitching his idea to some of his friends, and their friends, he recruited two female executive leaders. This was important because it showed that this club would not be just for men but it would also be appealing to women — the female contribution would make it appropriate for both genders. For a term they planned and shaped their group into a club that would be appealing, safe and enjoyable for all students. And in the beginning of Winter 2010, with a Facebook group yielding more than 200 people, they pitched their idea to Feds, not knowing the amount of obstacles to follow. “We were really scared that this would turn into a dating club, and we tried our best to stay away from that,” said Livermore, sharing the same concern as the administration. The club was told to run their idea by and get it clear by the UW Police and University of Waterloo Health Services. They had to talk to UW Police, because as the name suggests, it is a dominatrix club. Where physical pain is involved, they needed to be sure that no one would be getting hurt. After complying with this special request, they had assumed that Feds would also approve of the club, and started to plan for events such as a burlesque show at the Bomber, a knottying class, a whip-making seminar, and many more. The club was building in popularity. Even Health Services recognized the club’s popularity and suggested collaborating with it to make a series of seminars related to safe sex. In these seminars they would be discussing safe practices for those who actively participate in D&F in their own homes. But all these ideas were suffocated and gagged after not getting a response from Feds. According to Feds clubs director, Dave McDougall, the club’s failure was due to the executives of D&F. McDougall offered the D&F club a spot for this fall term but did not receive a response. This resulted because the process of making the D&F club a member of Feds took so long. When the D&F club was eventually offered a position among Feds clubs almost a term and a half after the initial proposal, “people started to lose interest,” said Livermore. Executives, who were once excited about the club have moved onto different endeavours and have too much on their academic plate to successfully develop the club now. In Livermore’s case, he was unable to continue creating the club because the hype of it died down and there weren’t as many members willing to join. The likelihood of a D&F club at UW in the near future looks grim, unless another group of people step up and recreate it. While groups like the Chocolate Squares (a Scrabble club) took only a couple of days to go through the bureaucratic process of becoming a Feds club, those clubs that seem controversial like the D&F club take significantly longer.
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
The Working Centre
At the heart of it all
photos, Ethan Oblak
Orginially called the St. John’s Soup Kitchen, St. John’s Community Kitchen changed its name under new management to negate the stigma associated with the former. It has also stopped serving soup in favour of more filling foods like pasta, rice, and bread. Above, UW student Cathleen DiFruscio serves spaghetti. Unlike other kitchens that put a limit on serving size, St. John’s Community Kitchen allows their hungry patrons to choose the amount of food on their plates.
The Working Centre divides its projects into these categories:
assistant features editor
The Job Search Resource Centre
o the average University of Waterloo student, Kitchener brings only the recollection of the bleak, dingy twin city they pass through on their way to the bus terminal. Talk amongst students paint a picture of a place for blue-collar workers, homeless people, and drug addicts. But unbeknownst to the vast majority of the UW population, there is an active, diverse community of people in this city involved through the Working Centre in downtown Kitchener. Inspired to act by the prevalent poverty and unemployment in the area, Joe and Stephanie Mancini, a young married couple and alumni of St. Jerome’s University at UW, established the Working Centre in the spring of 1982 as a graduation project. They said that with this project they saw the potential for “building a community of interest around responding to unemployment and poverty, developing social analysis, and engaging in creative action.” Since then, the Working Centre has developed into a bustling community-based, volunteer-inspired venture that gives people access to tools to create their own work with programs that allow for continuous learning and involvement in the community. They strive to build relationships and trust between its members where each person may become involved in one or two aspects of the centre’s work in a way that develops first-hand knowledge and understanding. Waterloo’s Ken Westhues, a sociology professor and VP of the centre’s board of directors, wrote The Working Centre, Experiment in Social Change, describing the centre’s struggles and success. “Two decades later, it has survived as an independent instrument of selfhelp community development, and has woven itself into the fabric of Kitchener-Waterloo. It has also achieved a certain maturity, coherence and confidence in its approach to work and unemployment and in its conception of itself,” he writes.
As the Working Centre’s main service, the Job Search Resource Centre offers multiple supports to those trying to find a living. Not only does the centre provide services like employment and career counselling, resume assistance, links to employers, job leads (short and long term), and workshops, it also has computers, community voicemail, public telephones, photocopiers, and fax machines for public use. Last year, 3,000 people used these resources, some of whom were new Canadians. For those new to the country, the centre has services to improve their English language skills, give access to financial support for job training and/or certifications, as well as a full-time immigration lawyer, Kirsten Van Drunen, to help with legal immigration issues. The centre isn’t only focused on job seeking. For those interested in building their entrepreneurial skills, there are small business supports that help micro-businesses enter the market with the knowledge, training, and network for a successful start up. There are also resources for employers looking for workers that suit their needs, as well as programs to help them design practical assistance for their laid-off workers. Though it seems like a very formal place of business, the biggest thing that strikes people upon entering the building is how welcoming and casual it is. The first thing you see is a community voicemail board with messages tacked on and waiting to be received, small tables and chairs are arranged for people to sit and wait comfortably, a computer centre similar to those one might find in a library lies behind it, and friendly faces stare back, ready to help you. The goal is to make job searching as easy as possible, which includes reducing any anxiety one may feel during such a process. “It’s about invit-
Joe Mancini stands in front of the community voicemail board. The board acts as an inbox for people without telephones. It allows employers to leave messages for people who don’t have a personal phone number. The board system acts as a shared telephone line.
ing the people into this space,” said founder and director of the centre, Joe Mancini.
St. John’s Community Kitchen A few blocks away on Victoria Street North is St. John’s Community Kitchen. Here, hundreds of people from all walks of life come together to produce and share a daily meal. A total of 300 meals are produced a day and the kitchen, working on a philosophy of community building through acceptance and encouragement, becomes a refuge from isolation. Of the approximate 100 volunteers working in the kitchen, about 80 per cent of them are patrons. Despite having no fixed schedule for the volunteers, they are never in short supply of helpers. People decide when they want to come and set their own commitment. The only rule in the kitchen is that no violence can be perpetrated against another. Because of the freedom that is extended to the people in this community, there is no hierarchal order but growth in a socially co-operative manner. In a broader context, the kitchen’s place in the KitchenerWaterloo community lies in its ability to redistribute the surplus of food in our community. The 200,000 pounds worth of abundance is prepared and distributed at St. John’s Kitchen to those that lack the funds to access this food normally, and there is no limit to the amount of food one may receive. Mancini emphasizes that this is not a soup kitchen but a community kitchen. He explains that soup is not usually served here because it isn’t filling enough, and soup kitchen has a hierarchal connotation, implying charity and condescension rather than a community of equals. This is a place for people to come together and fight feelings of alienation. Many of the kitchen’s patrons are also residents who suffer from physical and mental health issues. They spend much of their time alone
Continued on Page 16, Services, Tools, and Skills
The Queen Street Commons has a wide variety of vegetarian food and hand-crafted merchandise. The Working Centre grows many of their greens and their food prices are reasonable. A salad (with five different vegetables and homegrown sprouts) and a slice of quiche costs roughly $5.50, less than half the price of what it would cost at Williams. The Queen Street Commons is currently renovating to install a community movie theatre in the back of the store.
in their rooms, afraid to reach out to others. The psychiatric outreach at St. John’s provides a patient-centred, community-based approach to mental health care for those suffering from poverty.
“People are human beings. They don’t want to be left out. When you ignore people, they get lost,” said Mancini. Here, the despair and isolation felt by these people are put to rest and they are able to begin trusting and bonding with others in the community.
Integrated, Supportive Housing For men and women in between jobs, coming out of a difficult relationship, recovering from additions, or in need of a temporary place to live, the Working Centre provides safe, shared housing to assist in the transition to permanent housing. The housing help desk at the centre offers basic housing support with recently renovated units in some of their buildings. Shared housing at the Centre gives people in need of immediate shelter an opportunity to move into a steady job as well as long-term housing. The Lancaster House is the centre’s home for interns and others to live communally. It is located close to many of downtown Kitchener’s important resources, including the GROW herbal gardens. This garden, located in the backyard of the house, is another opportunity for members to work together towards a common goal. The interns decide and inspire creative uses of this space, and learn about the principles of community development, urban agriculture, downtown outreach, and environmental issues and ways to live simply in a very hands-on way as a part of the Waterloo School for Community Development.
16 Features The Working Centre
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
Services, Tools, and Skills The Waterloo School for Community Development The Working Centre has been a place of learning from the very start. Most of this learning is informal and done as an exchange through community activity. Other forms of education are more formal, like many of the centre’s workshops, discussion groups, study circles, and information sessions. The centre even publishes a newsletter, Good Work News (now widely distributed across Canada), and occasionally, books as well. For UW students, it has also been hosting regular credit courses in sociology and political science for almost 20 years now. The program brings regular, full-time university students closer to the realities of working life, and the small classes allow for lots of discussion in an unintimidating setting. The centre’s collection of educational programs strives to have individuals serve the public interest and improve the community as they acquire new skills and knowledge for their personal interests. The Waterloo School for Community Development allows people to create meaningful ways of living on their own and in groups, create projects that are ecologically sound and recognize that a community’s tradition is one that must be analyzed, revised, enhanced, and promoted.
Community Tools The centre’s Community Tools Project provides people the opportunity to make positive contributions to the community with productive tools and recycled materials. Not
only are do they support local producing and trading, but they are also designed with the benefit of a co-operative, neighbourhood structure so that workers are never working alone. The most important aspect of this program is that the services are provided at a reasonable cost and are accessible. Some of its projects have their roots in UW’s Waterloo Public Interest Research Group (WPIRG). Recycle Cycles, a bicycle resource centre that sells reconditioned bicycle parts, holds a large supply of refurbished parts, and teaches bicycle repair, was a WPIRG project in 1993 that was handed over to the Working Centre. It is run by volunteers and supports a number of cycling related community projects. Other projects include, among others, Computer Recycling, the Sewing Space, a second hand store, gardens and gardening, the Multicultural Cinema Club, and Maurita’s Kitchen. UW’s Critical Media Lab has also been relocated to one of the centre’s locations. For aspiring filmmakers, they will rent out equipment and may even co-produce projects they are interested in. Many of the centre’s volunteers trade their volunteer credits for renting privileges and use of the lab. The Working Centre encompasses so much of what a community should be. It provides tools for people to come together and make a positive impact while also supporting those in need of help. It builds a community, rejects status, serves others, encourages simple living, and sees work as gifts. Joe Mancini sums it up perfectly, advocating that it is “not about social service; it’s about stories of service.” — email@example.com
Continued from page 14 and 15
photos, Ethan Oblak
Top: Oustide the Working Centre’s immigration lawyer’s office, members of the community post their gratitude. Bottom: The Working Centre hosts a sewing room every Monday.
Exploration and self love While many purchase this product because they they enjoy the tingle it leaves when used as a lip gloss, the true value of this product comes from the sensation it leaves when it is applied to nipples. Dinh Nguyen
continued from page 12
In contemporary society, sex toys are great tools in helping individuals learn to love their bodies. Be it with a partner or individually, the use of sex toys allows an individual to explore and learn how to pleasure their bodies. Although there is no current research in the field, just as women are most objectified in society, they have the most variety when it comes to sex toy selection. According Bramberger, in the past, sex toys were made for, and were geared towards men. In contemporary society, the majority of toys are made for women — and these aren’t restricted to the common vibrator or dildo. In fact, Bramberger suggests that a person new to sex toy masturbation should start with their hands and non penetrate use items like oils, and books. From there, they should discover their sexuality for themselves. And if they wish to experiment with other toys, they should start small and try different things to see what is and is not for their complex body. Bramberger also warns of dangers that could result in the use of sex toys if not used carefully. To avoid yeast infections females should never
insert any kind of lubricant or toy with traces of sugar in their vaginas. Toys should be washed before ever used, and users should avoid sharing them with others. If they do, it is best to put a condom overtop of the toys. People practising anal penetration should avoid putting anything without a base into their anus. The reason being is that if the anus gets too excited it may suck the object in, resulting in a hospital visit. For this reason, anal plugs tend to have a base to for safe practise. Though using sex toys can be liberating, the notion of using them is still a taboo in our society. During the educational sex workshop with Bramberger, many people preferred not to have their pictures taken, and at the end of the workshop, attendees were encouraged to take turn having one on one meetings with her. During these meetings, people had the opportunity to either purchase sex toys confidentially from Bramberger, or simply ask questions. The key, like the this year’s Love Your Body Week, is to create and promote a positive environment for people to learn to love their bodies. — firstname.lastname@example.org
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010 Michelle Sterba staff reporter
s educated people, we like to put ourselves on top of the universal hierarchy of social knowledge. Empowered by our intellectual social spheres, we believe that we know best when it comes to world issues. More specifically, we believe that we are more environmentally-friendly individuals than our lesser educated counterparts. But what if someone were to tell us that it is actually the other way around? This past Monday, the University of Waterloo played host to a troupe of actors from the Goggles Project that did just that. The traveling street acting group put on two shows of roughly 20 minutes at the Student Life Centre and Arts Quad. The Goggles Project featured a group of actors wearing goggles made from the bottoms of plastic pop bottles and educated UW citizens on sustainability and individual carbon footprints. Among the group organizers was Dr. Tarah Wright, associate professor of environmental science at Dalhousie University and a UW graduate. Wright’s reseach, the backbone of the project, found that educated people are actually contributing more to the environmental problems as they tend to have higher ecological footprints. Wright explained that there are two main reasons for this. The first is that our curriculum emphasizes the fragmentation of knowledge, which may lead to ecological illiteracy. For example, someone in business may not see the ramifications of extracting and burning oil, only the economic benefits. The second is simply that educated people tend to have more money, and therefore use up more resources. Wright feels that not only Waterloo students, but also staff, administration, and faculty should take a serious interest in the issue of sustainability. For this reason she designed the Goggles Project to educate. “The key is that we are not trying to tell people what to do, rather we are trying to get people to think about this issue and start the discussion of how we can work together to have universities become leaders in creating a sustainable future,” she said. “The other key is that we are trying to reach people that we might not normally reach with traditional methods of information delivery — by doing street theatre we can reach people that have never thought about this issue and provoke thinking about sustainable universities.” According to the Goggles Project, if everyone on the planet lived the way Canadians do, we would need four planet Earths to support us. If the planet was divided between all people equally, we would each have 2.1 hectares to ourselves per year. And the average Canadian uses 7.1 hectares a year. To top it off, there’s not enough world resources to satisfy us all. It takes
the Earth 17 months to regenerate the resources humans deplete in one year. This makes it impossible to satisfying the ideal terms of Intergenerational Equity (meeting the needs of the present without compromising future generations) and Intra-generational Equity (sharing the planet with everyone on it now). According to Goggles Project actor Sara Campbell, their performances have already been having an impact on the people who witness them. She said that audience members will approach the group after the show for more information, or send them emails. The audiences have been diverse, which is precisely what they were hoping for. This makes it easier for the troupe to encourage students to discover what their universities invest in. The Goggles Project believe that students will find themselves surprised by the answers. “They will need to contact their student union and the university president’s office to ask if that information is public. The student union will likely have different investments than the university as a whole — it’s sometimes easier to start that way,” said Wright. UW students who would like to create a more sustainable university should contact the University of Waterloo Sustainability Project (UWSP). Paul A. Kay, associate professor of Environment and Resource Studies at UW, attended one of the performances held by the troupe. “There have been numerous grassroots movements by students over the years, such as UWSP,” he said. “There have been two major barriers, in my opinion. One, the difficulty of ensuring continuity of commitment and activity, largely due to the co-op calendar; and two, a marked coolness from UW administration to enunciating a sustainability policy and creating a formal structure, such as a sustainability office. With new people in the top administrative leadership positions and with the new EV3 building headed towards LEED Platinum status, perhaps there will be a change.” The message is clear: UW needs to start thinking more on the concept of sustainability, not just the students, but the staff, faculty and administration as well The Goggles Project is comprised of Sara Campbell, Mike Chandler, Sarah D. McCarthy, Tyler Burns and Tarah Wright, who were at the event while many other worked from behind the scenes. The tour started in Nova Scotia on Sept. 15 and is set to end in British Columbia on Oct. 1. A total of 36 shows are to be held across 18 university and college campuses along the way. For more information visit: www.gogglesproject.org. —email@example.com
Features Changing the World
Through A Sustainable Lens
courtesy the Goggles Project
From left to right: Sara Campbell as Professor Whynott, Tyler Burns as Tyler Burns, Sarah MacCarthy as Sarah Enity and Michael Chandler as Dr. Ken U. Seymour in the Goggles Project.
Arts & Entertainment
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010 firstname.lastname@example.org
in the Park
Music Festival Alcina wong
ska, combined with smooth vocals from Zach Leighton, created a musical experience equally as pleasing as Jumple’s set. The band’s set included a fantastic cover of Mika’s “Big Girl,” which had the audience dancing and singing along. The evening concluded with soulful singer Kae Sun and the indie rock group Zeus. Kae Sun’s distinct voice and thoughtful lyrics were a rewarding and an uplifting experience for the listeners. His mature, thought-provoking music showcased an immense talent in both musical and conscious aspects. Toronto indie rockers Zeus closed Steve Cutler the event with a fantastic performance Zeus performing at the Spark in the Park Music Festival at Waterloo Park. Zeus, along with other performers of classic-rock-inspired, feel good songs. such as Kae Sun are attributed to making the event a great success, despite the cold and rainy weather. Against the backdrop of colourful music was the melancholic and soft voice of singer Mike O’Brien, which created an interesting contrast Rob Saavedra Rich, The Lookarounds, and The Pedal Pushers. of sound that works for the band. The upbeat and reporter At 3:45 p.m. the crowd was treated to a bizarre catchy nature of Zeus definitely gives them potential mix of eastern European melodies, disco rock, to gain major mainstream support and popularity. old, damp weather was not enough to extin- and flamboyant costumes, courtesy of the Jumple, Spark in the Park exuded a deep sense of comguish the Spark in the Park Music Festival a band based in Toronto. All six members of the munity and friendship that was evident throughout this past Saturday in Waterloo Park. band have roots in countries of the former USSR, the day. Despite the weather, there was plenty of The crowd began to arrive around noon to enjoy and have used their unique cultures as a tool of dancing and smiling to keep the crowd warm. Bea day of music and social awareness . Not-for- musical creativity. The crowd smiled and clapped tween sets, band members from all groups would profit organizations such as the Kitchener-Waterloo as the band performed synchronized dance moves, came into the crowd to strike up conversations with Humane Society and the Community Gardening and were particularly impressed when lead singer members of the audience. It is also worth noting Council were on hand to inform concert goers about Evgenii Lanstman placed violinist Ruslan Nebesov that no audience related problems or conflicts took the causes that each organization represented. The on his shoulders and carried him out into the crowd place throughout the day, which kept the show rollmain goal of this festival was to encourage attend- as he played a solo. Violins, tight leather pants, and ing along smoothly. ees to become volunteers themselves throughout a giant neon green top hat were all present in what To those who attended, the days events and mesthe community. was undoubtedly the most uniquely fun experience sages undoubtedly sparked a desire to contribute in The concert featured diverse musical acts that of the day that left members of the crowd asking the Waterloo and global communities whether it be played all day, opening with a showcase of young “What does Jumple mean?” through volunteering, music, or discussing issues of artists from local Kitchener-Waterloo talent. ArtJumple was followed by Guelph rockers, Dance social and environmental importance with family, ists included acoustic folk rock group Far From Hall Free For All. A fusion of rock, funk, pop, and peers, and friends.
INSIDE THIS SECTION: Word on the Street Book Festival Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker at the Bomber P19 Review of the movie Devil P21
Arts & Entertainment
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
Kitchener-Waterloo’s got The WORD on the STREET staff reporter
ictoria Park’s Jubilee Road closed down as booth upon booth popped up for Kitchener’s “The Word on the Street” festival last Sunday. The event had steady streams of people wandering by booths filled with Canadian publishers, authors, and local literacy groups. Both the Kitchener (KPL) and Waterloo (WPL) public libraries were set up with information on suggested reading for people of all ages. The WPL also showcased a display for their new branch, the John M. Harper District Branch Library. The branch is being built on University of Waterloo property by FischerHallman Drive and is expected to be opened by next summer. The KPL had an impressive booth, offering memberships to visitors and promoting literacy through their Youth Advisory Council. The council, represented by volunteers Danya Milne, 17, Claudia Ivasco, 16, and Laura Mccallum, 17, comprises of teens who want to
USS rocks out Bomber Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker (USS) took the stage of the Bombshelter last Saturday. The event was put on by FedS and drew a huge crowd of students out on a quiet evening. Vocalist, guitarist and erhu player Ash Buchholz, and turntablist and hypeman Jason Parsons, said that the show was “superfluous, suggestive, squirmy, splendid, spectacular, and spastic. Top five shows we’ve ever played.”
The WPL also showcased a display for their new branch ... The branch is being built on University of Waterloo property.
encourage literacy in other. They do this by running various book clubs and reading-based events. This past summer during their annual “Teen Summer Reading Challenge,” they beat their previous record of words read by 300,000. Alongside the big tri-city libraries, Wilfrid Laurier University and University of Waterloo both had bookstore tents, filled with publications for sale and information on their services. Other big festival names included the Big Brothers Big Sisters of KW who had fun, literacy-based games for the day’s younger visitors. Other groups representing literacy for youth were groups such as Early Years of Waterloo Region, Strong Start, and Let’s Read – A family literacy initiative of Waterloo Region. For the older reader the festival showcased authors at the Adult Au-
thors Tent, and gave visitors detailed information on this region’s history at the booths of the Victoria Park Historical Committee and the Waterloo Historical Society. The event also contained a few religious themed booths, from the Ahmadiyya Muslim Jama’at to the Christian Science Reading Room. These booths contained information and pamphlets on local and international religious organizations, as well as copies of religious based texts. For the less spiritually inclined, there was also the Society of Ontario Free Thinkers which sold their magazines, promoted books and provided relevant information in pamphlets for free. All in all, with plenty of activity for children, adults, and seniors alike, the festival was a great success and gave the KW community more than a bit to think about the Canadian literature scene.
Judith E Phipps
What makes a gamer?
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Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
o you enjoy gaming? Are you the kind of person who sits at home at night sometimes, playing Call of Duty (CoD), Halo, or even Starcraft 2? Well, if you don’t, then you might be a gamer. Most of you, the “non-gamers” out there, don’t play games on a console regularly. That is to say, games on the PlayStation, or the Xbox. It’s easy enough to go ahead and say “only gamers play console games, and since I don’t do that kind of stuff, I’m not a gamer.” Sorry chumps, I don’t think that’s the case.
absolutely no life at all. That’s not entirely true. Gamers are the average people who play games, be it on iPod products or even those games that exist on Facebook. This is not a bad thing. You’re not going to magically become overweight over night, nor will you suddenly breathe through your mouth when sunlight makes contact with your skin. There are also other names that are given to you, such as casual gamers or “I am bored so let’s check out Farmville” gamers.
would be alone forever and never do anything outside of their homes except sit in at class, hesitantly. I questioned what the meaning of being a gamer was and swiftly got the response of “someone who plays CoD way too much.” I was a bit offended to be honest. By no means am I the type to sit in the dark and yell at my computer screen about how my sword of oblivion is not twice the strength boost it could be, but I also enjoy my games. I know some people that viciously play Farmville because they like the whole
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With so many people registered on the social site Facebook, I can safely say that most of you, if not all of you, are gamers. That’s a bit of a stretch, you — the gamer in denial — might say to me. Well deny it no longer and embrace the fact that you are a gamer. I know what some of you think of gamers: they dwell in the basement and obviously have no immunity to sunlight. It’s okay, I have that in the mornings too. More importantly though, I think people are afraid to admit that they’re gamers for the sole reason that they think it will instantly cause them to become huge nerds that no one will ever be able to fix. What’s even more important is that the idea of a gamer brings one to imagine someone that’s not in shape — possibly overweight — while having
You play games because you’re bored; it also might increase your social status with others. It’s okay to be casual gamer. Really, most of us are probably casual gamers but don’t really admit to the fact. The other breed of gamers that exist are the hardcore ones. These gamers can spend up to a full night in front of a computer and simulate night during the day by pulling down the blinds. Aside from the health and safety that comes associated with being in front of a computer screen for that long, it is also not a bad thing. Hardcore gamers will play CoD hours on end and ask for dinner when the sun’s rising. These people really stick to their games and will try to over achieve in them. While sitting with my peers and wondering about the life of a manatee, the idea popped up that gamers
social aspect, it draws in your friend to go to your farm and expect them to do things with/for you. The sad truth is though, that’s just a hook for the game to draw you in, and boy have they done a great job at it. Gaming is part of our lives now; it’s near part of our culture to game. Sure you may not sit in front of the “tele” every night to shoot people, but if you so much as take out that iPod on the way to school, and play Angry Bird or Doodle Jump or anything like that, then you are a gamer. While you may not be a hardcore gamer, you are still a gamer nonetheless. So embrace it, and come out of that bright room, because we all know that everyone enjoys a good teabagging at least once in their lifetime.
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Arts & Entertainment
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
Movie Review Devil John Erick Dowdle
How Come I’m Dead Hot Panda
urrently signed to Mints Records, Edmonton indie band Hot Panda has recently found strangers’ floors more familiar than their own beds for their 2010 tour. With a strong instrumental focus and raspy vocals, they’ve been creating a strong fan base all over North America (and even holding fans in Spain.) Having accomplished so much, the band members have managed to remain completely down-to-earth and have begun maintaining their charming blog. After listening to their most recent album How Come I’m Dead, it’s apparent that nailing their sound is a lot more difficult than most bands. According to Facebook, their sound can be labelled anywhere between brit pop, gypsy swing, opera solos, Robert Pollard style lo-fi jangles, or glammy Roxy Music keyboards (most of which are difficult to even define once you’ve heard it.) However, they are beyond talented and I recommend giving their music a listen. Specifically, off of How Come I’m Dead, the track “Evil Nature” stood out as one of the strongest additions to their album. In today’s culture you see a lot of musicians trying to embody the “hippy” lifestyle, and as wonderfully as many people pull it off, Hot Panda seems to be one of the only standing bands rebelling against it. “Evil Nature” touches base on this rebellion and talks about being too distracted by all the glitz and glamour of the city to really acknowledge nature. Whether or not some of us want to admit it, this is a particular topic I find easy to relate to.
COURTESY OF HOT PANDA
Another track that stood out of the How Come I’m Dead album is “masculinity.” The powerful lyrics are matched with killer trumpet and guitar instrumentals. Throughout the song there is a dance/rock and roll vibe that would fit the atmosphere at nearly any party. Lead singer Chris Connelly’s vocals establish the rock and roll feels with an incredible scream leading into a line up of intense guitar riffs. Hot Panda is definitely a must-hear band that embodies the culture around them. For more information on tour dates and locations visit: www.hotttpanda.ca - Julia Peters
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These Kids Wear Crowns These Kids Wear Crowns EP Capitol Records
promised myself I wouldn't get antagonistic. But no matter how you put it, These Kids Wear Crowns, the self-titled breakout album, features as much diversity and novelty as Aeropostale fashion. As a product of MuchMoreMusic's show DisBAND, the music industry appears to have diminished any and all distinguishing features of this pop band from Chilliwack, B.C. But they did get a big break this year by releasing their first video for "Break It Up" and opening for Hedley. Wee? The EP features two versions of the breakout track, “Break It Up,” a pop and an acoustic version. The chief difference is that the latter is performed in a raspy whisper without a drum base. But if you're into bubblegum pop, you're at least likely to enjoy a makeout session with your love muffin to this one. By Track 5, "FIFA 99," I am liberally beginning to suspect the band's success
is solely due to the lead singer's genetically cloned resemblance to Rob Lowe. Yes, Rob Lowe, the 1980s heartthrob featured in Outsiders and St. Elmo's Fire. Why? Because no song featuring the following wheezy, computer-preened solo chorus should ever be released: "You know that we're, calm collected and cool/And we clap our hands to the rhythm to the beat/And the sounds inside the school and if we're/Turn it up, Turn it up, yeah then well/Take it off." Compile those lyrics with a heavy, repetitive beat, and it's clear that These Kids Wear Crowns fan base consists strictly of people who dance in clubs exclusively by bobbing their heads. "Oceans" is worth a mention, just because it's got a catchy, repetitive beat you're likely to yell along to at Phil's on a Friday night and forget about shortly after. In sum, if you play any Stereos track backward, a distinct These Kids Wear Crowns will be born. But hey, word on the street is, they're touring Canada, so if you haven't broken free of the Top 40 chains, maybe you'll want to check them out live. - Anya Lomako
hink of Devil as a much more exciting version of any of the Final Destination movies. While the gore shown in the Final Destination movies isn’t as vivid in this movie, Devil leaves you clinging on to your honey (or maybe the cute stranger you strategically placed yourself next to before watching the film). The first of The Night Chronicles trilogy and based on a story written by M.Night Shyamalan, Devil starts out narrated by the movie’s comic relief, Ramirez, played by Jacob Vargas. He begins telling a story his mother used to tell him about how the gateway to Earth is opened for the Devil when one commits suicide. Sure enough, a suicide is the first of the tragic events that occur within the story. Detective Bowden, played by Chris Messina, and his partner, Detective Markowitz investigate the suicide, but that is not all that awaits them. The true plot of the story lies with five strangers, all with shady pasts: a temp guard, who has a violent criminal record; a mechanic, who served time in Afghanistan following an accident; a gold-digging heiress, who is on her way to meet with a lawyer; an old woman, who has a past of stealing wallets; and a mattress salesman that doubles as a con artist. These five get onboard elevator Number 6 (for those who don't know, six is the devil's number in Western cultures). Everything seems to be working just fine, but as soon as that door closes, everything about these five strangers will unravel in less than the span of a day. There are no hot-shot names here, but all actors play their parts solidly, and one of the things I liked about the cast and the storyline is that you never know who the bad guy/girl is until that one part creeps up behind you. The
Devil’s meeting, as described in the movie, is a time when the Devil comes in human form to visit Earth and torments evildoers who have not confessed to their sins. The Devil likes to play psychological tricks and makes no exception with these five strangers. This movie won’t be considered a classic horror movie. Perhaps it will even fade into oblivion in time to walk away from the movie with this in mind: when you commit a sin, do confess, and apologize. My only critique of this movie is that it was way too short, not in the sense of time, but in the sense that the ending was loose. I didn’t feel like there was a solid ending to the movie. I almost felt as if there was a lack of information at the end, but my best guess is that Devil works like a short story. All the components are compacted into a short amount of time, and the ending and the events before the story started are left to the viewer's imagination. All in all, I would recommend this movie to anyone who’s up for sitting on the edge of their seat. -Vanesa Sale
COURTESY OF IMDB
Arts & Entertainment
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
Book Review Clearing The Way: Combat Engineers in Kandahar Members of the Canadian Task Force Department of National Defence, Canada
n the politically charged Afghan war theatre, the din of voices often leaves soldiers unheard. Unfortunately, loud and often divisive political figures are too eager to put a society's goodwill (or contempt) for its troops to devious ends. They often drive the conversation about peace or war, despite their obvious ignorance on the subject. Indeed, very few take the time, or have the opportunity to hear from those on the frontlines of the war against terrorism. This apolitical gem, which includes the war diary by Maj. Mark Gasparotto and four chapters by University of Waterloo student, Cpl. Matt Austin, and first person accounts of the mission from various other members of the squadron was a result of over four years of research, consultation and diligence by the men and women that make up the squadron of war. The idea was born when Cpl. Matt Austin consulted his superior, Maj. Mark Gasparotto about writing a compilation of short stories about their battle experiences in Kandahar during the later summer and autumn of 2006. Gasparotto, the forward thinking man that he is, gave all his support to the project and even took on some of the work himself when Austin had to head back to Afghanistan for a second tour of duty. The book itself is indeed a work of art. For those of us who have personally or vicariously acquired an understanding of military manner and culture, this book is particularly nostalgic of those experiences. Whether it is understanding the extent of strategy and preparation that went into Operation Medusa, or marvelling at the skill with which a soldier defuses the IED that blows up his vehicle with a bayonet, the role Soviet-era minefields played in frustrating the mission's first tank rollout, or the battle of Panjiwaii. As far as battle lore goes, some of the experiences of these honourable men are certainly the stuff of raucous testosterone driven drinking sessions. For most other people, while some of the language and humour might seem rather off colour, it is a wonderful eye into the sociology of our men and women in uniform. The honour of our war heroes wears off and we see through their deserved medals of honour to their souls. In the book we find that unlike many of our politicians, the politics of Afghanistan are far less
COURTESY OF 23 FIELD SQUADRON
important to these men of valour than fulfilling their mission of bringing hope and peace to the people of Afghanistan. Even more importantly, we see the sense of duty and responsibility they have to each other. Indeed, they do owe each other a lot, and by a lot we mean their very existence. No doubt, there are a few low points to even this work of honour. "Social change agents," particularly radical pacifists, would be more than a little offended by what might seem like servicemen's abject hatred for the Taliban and the more than subtle (and sometimes violent sounding) biblical references prefacing a few chapters. Some of the jokes might also seem inappropriate given their context, and despite the detailed notes prefacing the book, many will still be lost in the mystery of military jargon speak. Nonetheless, the book does its very best to offer something for everyone. Whether it is ingrained bits of veteran wisdom or the adrenaline charged "Ambush Alley" narratives, most
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would imagine are only either possible or appropriate for a Bruce Willis movie. The experience was not all action packed, however. There were those slow moments of uncertainty when comrades die or are gravely injured and one can with a little imagination feel the heavy air that hung over the band of brothers this squadron had become. At the end of this story of emotion, tact, duty honour, and the most profound form of strength, you almost want to hear the men and women of the 23rd Squadron scream at the top of their lungs (as they must have on lonely nights in this strange land thousands of miles from home). He ain't heavy, he's my brother. And whatever aisle of the politics we might stand on, I hope we want to scream right with them. Me too. - Aboyeji Iyinoluwa
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Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010 firstname.lastname@example.org
Close to clinching Warriors need one more win to reach post-season Namish Modi asst sports & living
he Warriors began the weekend with a bang, by beating the visiting Queens Gaels 13–1. Waterloo came storming out of the gate scoring four runs in the second inning on the strength of a grand slam by left fielder Thomas Biskup. He had two hits and five RBI’s in the game. “I don’t think I ever hit a ball that far, it was an awesome feeling and I think that it really sparked up the bench and gave more confidence to the batters,” Biskup said. “I was definitely feeling very comfortable at the plate and it really helped that I was seeing the ball well,” added Biskup. The Warriors featured a balanced attack, with shortstop Craig Van Ootoghem adding three hits, one RBI, and two runs, while outfielder Chris Ryan and first basemen Lee Mathe added two hits a piece. Warrior’s starting pitcher Adam Lentz picked up the win, pitching six solid innings allowing one earned run and five hits. The Warriors continued their hot streak with their fifth win in a row in the second game of Saturday’s doubleheader. The Warriors competed in a slugfest in which they came out on top defeating the Gaels 10–6. Waterloo was down by a score of 6–3 after four innings, but stormed back with five runs in the fifth inning, and two in the sixth. Biskup and rookie outfielder Scott Boegel each had three hits and two RBI’s. Ryan chipped in with another two hits and one RBI. Starting pitcher Stefan Sawicky earned his second win of the season, going five innings while allowing four earned runs and seven hits. Sunday featured a double header between cross town rivals, as Waterloo faced the Laurier Golden Hawks. Laurier prevailed in game one on the strength of a three run walk off homer by Nathan Loehle. The Warriors had started the game with a four-run first inning, but Laurier slowly chipped away at the lead in the fourth and fifth inning before Loehle’s ninth inning blast. Catcher David Allen and third basemen Aaron Butler each had RBI’s for the Warriors. Rookie Brandon Beattie was given a no decision after going six innings and allowing one earned run and seven hits, while Laurier’s Malone Jack pitched a complete game for the win. “We played well in the game, just one bad pitch. You need to have a short memory in baseball, and banner_ad_v6.qxd
Anthony Douris (#13) pitched a gem on Sunday going six and two thirds innings, allowing no runs. He was credited with the win after the Waterloo beat Laurier 1–0. we showed that, putting game one behind us and focusing on game two,” said Coach Brian Bishop. The Warriors shook off the heartbreaking loss in the second game of the day. Waterloo shutout Laurier 1–0 in an excellent pitchers duel, as starting pitcher Anthony Douris threw six and two-thirds scoreless innings allowing only three hits. “My approach to Sunday’s game was the same as always: get ahead of hitters, keep the pitch count low and make them get themselves out by swinging at bad pitches,” Douris said. “I had good command of the curve and was able to keep hitters off balance effectively.” Third baseman Aaron Butler chipped in with an RBI, which was all that Douris needed. Waterloo now has a record of 7–5, already topping their six wins from the 2009 season.
“We are hitting the ball better this year and our starting pitching has been real good, keeping us in every game,” Bishop said. “The addition this year of a few rookies who have been able to step and play like vets has been key,” Douris added. The Warriors close out the regular season with a double header at Brock over the weekend, looking to lock up a playoff spot. “Depending on what Guelph does this weekend, we most likely already solidified our spot in the playoffs, but one more win this weekend against Brock would guarantee that,” Biskup said when asked about the Warrior’s playoff aspirations. “After that, we’re just one semi final and one final game away from winning it all.”
Need to Know... The MLB regular season is winding down and Roy Halladay and the Philadelphia Phillies are heating up. The Phillies clinched their fourth consecutive division title behind a (routine) Halladay shutout. The only weak aspect of their game right now is their bullpen, but with Cole Hamels, Roy Oswalt, and Halladay as your three starters, you may not need anyone else. The Phillies have also set up the divisional series so that they will only need to go with three starters, all on full rest. This makes the race for the NL West title much more interesting as the winner of the wild card will likely face the Phillies in the first round. The only National League team with a front three that even remotely matches Philadelphia’s is San Francisco, who can throw (reigning back-toback Cy Young winner) Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, and Barry Zito. No hitter is looking forward to that would-be series... No matter how much magic is in Derek Jeter’s cleats, it is impossible for the New York Yankees to be anyone’s pick to make the Fall Classic. After CC Sabathia, their rotation is laughably awful. Phil Hughes is almost 100 innings past his career high and is looking tired on the mound. He hasn’t given the Yankees seven innings since July 9th and hasn’t been all that impressive after a torrid start which saw him sporting a 2.54 ERA two months into the season. Andy Pettitte is a huge question mark given that he’s only made two starts since coming back from a groin tear and he was lit up in the only one versus a major league lineup. (The Baltimore Orioles are quad A at best). If he can find his form in time it’ll be a miracle, but Pettitte is no stranger to October miracles. Back when AJ Burnett was a Toronto Blue Jay, we all figured he was a thrower, and now the former Toronto “pitcher” is showing his true colours. Sporting a Josh Towers’ quality 5.33 ERA there is no way Burnett can be considered for the Yankees post-season rotation given his poor performance this season, unbelievable considering how talented of an arm he possesses... First Down... There are two sides to the argument that’s happening in Tampa Bay, and they’re both wrong. The players (specifically Evan Longoria and David Price) are complaining about the lack of fan support during a pennant race, while the fans are complaining about the complaints. See RUNDOWN, page 24
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Sports & Living
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
The Rundown: Boys of The resurgence of Vick: summer ready for the fall Bringing out the fight in the dog Nothing against the Chicago Continued from page 23
othing has made me happier about this NFL season then watching the reemergence of Michael Vick, quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles. To say I have a man crush on Vick is like saying Taylor Swift is only barely attractive. Vick graced the cover of Madden 2005 (the video game for all you out there who aren’t nerds, like me) and during this year, that my affair with Vick reached its peak. He had a 95 overall rating. He was fast and could throw on the run; he broke tackles. I used to beat up on my buddies, winning by ridiculous scores. And every Sunday, I’d sit down and watch Vick, who at the time resembled a human highlight reel. Nothing was more exciting than watching Vick and the NFL build itself around him. He was the superstar, the epicentre of the NFL, the most dynamic, versatile quarterback the league had ever seen. A triple threat, he could run, throw and electrify. It all came crashing down with a conviction for running a dog-fighting ring. If you thought Jessica Simpson’s career fell fast, then Vick’s would have appeared to reach Mach 3. Within months of the news being released, and the stories flooding out (igniting a bigger media storm than even when Janet Jackson decided it would be a good idea to flash America), Vick was not only going to jail for his conviction, but also applying for bankrupty. In a flash, as quick as the previously mentioned Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction,” Vick’s life was in shambles — which is the exact reason that his success this year is so compelling. It’s hard to truly describe how far Vick has come. His resurgence is comparable to Lindsay Lohan winning an Oscar later on in her career. Vick appeared truly done. He
was being sent to prison for 23 months, and in that time many, including myself,believed that he would lose his unique lightning speed, his quick-fire arm and his touch for the NFL game. All seemed lost with the following that Vick had generated, yet another NFL career wiped away by poor decisions. And while Vick certainly deserved the punishment , he has paid his debt to society and is back — and potentially better than ever. Vick has now played 10 quarters now of error-free electrifying football. He has taken over the Eagles starting job and in doing so, has set fire to a fan base and team that wasn’t particularly optimistic at the beginning of the year. After the Eagles traded away Donovan McNabb, their starter for the past near-decade, it was understood that the Eagles would most likely take a step back, a transition year of football while the new, presumed starter, Kevin Kolb, took over the reins. But that’s what makes the NFL so unique — things can change in the blink of an eye. No sooner had Kolb started his first game of the season, in which he was taken out with a concussion, than it led to the opportunity for Vick to seize control of the franchise. The first true test will come this weekend when he faces off against his post-jail mentor, Donovan McNabb, and the Washington Redskins. After years of everyone betting against Vick, of a nation partially hating him, the Madden 2005 fan in me is absolutely thrilled. Maybe if Vick can come back better than ever, I can finally start winning again against my buddies in Madden. Then again, probably not… but at least the human highlight reel is back.
MUNICIPAL ELECTIONS WILL BE HELD ON MONDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2010 for the following offices: OFFICE FOR WHICH VOTE TO BE HELD
In no universe can a baseball player signed to a multi-million dollar contract call out fans for not paying the exorbitant prices in these difficult times. At the same time, if you can’t sell out (which for the Rays is under 37 000) one of your final home games where your team can clinch a playoff spot then your city doesn’t deserve a team... The Cincinnati Reds are going to the playoffs... It just doesn’t sound right. A 15-year playoff drought ended with a Jay Bruce walk-off home run. If you are writing off the Reds’ series as a won’t-watch, think again. Some players you may want to tune in to see: Brandon Phillips, the aforementioned Bruce, Canadian kid and MVP candidate Joey Votto, Mike Leake, Scott Rolen, and the owner of a 105 mph fastball, Aroldis Chapman: might not want to miss that series... Seventh Inning Stretch... Is there any job in sports with a higher turnover than place kicker on an NFL team? Garrett Hartley helped kick the New Orleans Saints to a Super Bowl win less than eight months ago and now, after starting the year four for seven, including an embarrassing miss from 29 yards in overtime, Hartley is likely on his way out. The Saints signed John Carney (46 years old) who made his first field goal in 1988... Was Morten Andersen not available?
Bears, but they are the worst 3–0 team in recent memory. There were two players who propelled them to the big Monday night win against Green Bay and neither is named Jay Cutler. Julius Peppers dominated from his defensive end position against the Packers, forcing false starts, holds, and basically disrupting the offense in every possible way. The other was Devin Hester who can still run. Plain and simple, there is no reason to gamble by kicking him the ball because as Green Bay found out; he can still burn you... Overtime... The game of baseball is losing two great managers this season: Bobby Cox and Cito Gaston. Nothing more to say about these two men; two of the all-time greats, and a couple class acts. A huge hat tip to both as they leave the game behind... High on the list of worst sayings by sports announcers has to be “pick your poison,” when referring to the fact that a team is screwed no matter what they do. Clichés tend to wear down relatively quickly and this one is overused to the point of nausea. Looking at you, Rance Mulliniks... Shout out of the Week: Another congratulatory shout out, this time to the women’s rugby team here at Waterloo. The Warriors sit at 2-1 after a big win over Brock and currently are ranked nineth in the nation. email@example.com
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Sports & Living
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
NFL victim of its own brilliance:
Improving the In-Game NFL Stadium Experience Andrew Arevalo
Ron Kielstra Jr. staff reporter
Warriors split weekend tennis series with McGill, Western
o on last week’s rant, I was talking about how the NFL was going to be down in attendance this season. Unlike every other sport, they’re not losing fans, and their television numbers are through the roof. The NFL is facing a very unique situation. They are so darn good on television that it’s hurting their in-stadium attendance. Just by a little though, a projected three per cent. But, unlike the MLB which always has its head in the sand, you can bet that the NFL will be proactive, progressive, and smart and address this. So, how do you improve the stadium experience? I thought about this one morning while on the GO Train, asking myself “how do you get me back in a stadium?” How do you get back a guy, who has transformed his basement into a media room, and has enough discretionary income to buy flat screens? I came to the conclusion that the NFL has to give me something I can’t get at home; otherwise, I’d just stay at home. The NFL stadiums are increasingly becoming low brow, vulgar, non-family guy, non childhood friendly environment. So how do you get me back? Now remember in order to get me back, you have to give me what I can’t get. 70 to 80 per cent of fans will have access to televisions, headsets and the ability to watch the Redzone channel in the stadiums, so that’s virtually good news for everybody in the stadium. Now, it might not be good news to everybody in the stadium, but I mean meatball guy in the third deck in bad weather is still going to show up regardless. But the guy that is going to demand that you give him a little better. Seventy per cent of the crowd is going to have television access to it as well. It’s almost like when you fly Delta Airlines right now, they have internet and they have television, you’ll have that at your seat. Jerry Jones whiffed on that, Jerry Jones built a huge flat screen television for a huge stadium. I think we are going to get smaller more intimate venues, with 70 per cent of the crowd having access to televisions or headsets and Redzone channel. Now, for about 25 per cent of you, the luxury demo. The guy making $100 grand, somewhere between $88 grand and $150 grand average. The guy that has options, flat screen televisions. You are the real winner in this. Because that’s what’s happening to the NFL, they are losing you and they’re going to get you back. You are going to have a headset, you will be piped in to the play calling on the sidelines. You will hear exactly what the co-ordinators hear. You will hear what the head coach hears; you will be given a headset. It sounds ridiculous, but I’ve kind of been predicting this stuff for the past year or so. Remember when they told us what we’d be able to do with our cell phone?
Waterloo played host to the McGill Redman on Saturday, with the women winning their matchup five games to two and the men losing by an identical score. Led by captain Paige Long, the women’s team recovered from an opening doubles loss to take five of the six singles games and clinch the victory. The afternoon was highlighted by Lindsay Munch’s near-perfect 6–0, 6–1 victory. The Warriors’ men’s team, however, was unable to harness any of the postive energy. Still operating without set pairings for doubles, Waterloo dropped two of three matches and couldn’t seem to build momentum throughout the day. The lone brightspot for the men was Vincent Chan’s winning debut, taking his match 6–2, 6–2. The Warriors travelled to Western on Sunday, to play their first outdoor matches of the season. The men’s team was able to reverse its fortunes, winning four games to three, but the women’s team couldn’t replicate its performance from the McGill matchup and were thoroughly outplayed, losing six games to one. Chan remained undefeated in a Waterloo uniform, and a change in the doubles pairings helped the men take the doubles point. Alison Drainie managed the sole win for the women’s side against a very deep, experienced Western squad.
Warriors continue strong rugby seasons
The Warriors men’s and women’s rugby teams took the centre stage at Waterloo’s homecoming celebrations on Saturday, with the men’s team battling to draw against Guelph while the women’s team continued to earn its national ranking status with a victory over Brock. The women started the day off on the right foot, scoring three tries in the first half to take a 17–0 lead heading into the half. The Badgers would mount a late rally, but with four tries from four different players, Waterloo’s balanced attack proved too much for the visitors to handle. Anna Kirkey, Caitlin Martin, Erinne Lee Vargas, and rookie Valerie Bigelow all scored, and Abbey Gingerich added a conversion as the black and gold held on for a 22–11 win. The elements came into play during the men’s game against the Gryphons, and the two teams battled to a 24–24 draw. The teams entered halftime tied at 14 after a back-and-forth first half in which the teams exchanged tries twice. Waterloo roared in front in the second half, led by third-year fullback Richard Lebel’s second of two tries on the afternoon. Lebel now leads the OUA with seven tries on the season and 45 points scored. Guelph fought back to tie however, and the teams split the points for the afternoon.
Warrior men go 2–1, women 1–1 in OUA soccer
It was a busy week for the Warrior’s soccer program, with both the men’s and women’s teams playing a rare mid-week game against the York Lions in addition to regular weekend action. After losing their national ranking following a loss to Waterloo last weekend, the Lions’ men’s team came roaring out of the gate with a fifth minute goal by Alon Badat and never slowed down, easily winning 5–1. The black and gold recovered quickly though, shutting out the UOIT Ridgebacks 1–0 on Friday night despite a 3.5 hour delay due to a bus breakdown. After taking Saturday off, the men returned to action on Sunday, playing host to the Brock Badgers. First-year keeper Rob McMillan continued his strong play with his second shut-out in three days as the Warriors won 3–0. The women’s team started the week in fine form, winning 2–1 against York on the strength of goals by Tara Chadwick and Nadine Parker. Chadwick’s goal was her third of the season in only her seventh game, topping the two goals she contributed in fourteen games last year. The success didn’t continue into the weekend, however, as the visiting Badgers took advantage of poor defence to win 3–0. firstname.lastname@example.org
That we would be able to watch television, movies and listen to radio? Remember when they told us that and everybody went “oh please!” claiming as well that you’d be able to use it as your computer...well you can now. People in technology will tell you that the smart guys in the NFL.... we are getting to a point, that the high end guy, who has got options, who can stay home and afford a $7,000 or $12,000 media room, you’re going to get a luxury experience that is unbelievable. They are actually already doing this in NASCAR, in the suites, where you can hear the pit crews. It’s the same deal in the NFL, you will be given access to play calling. They will delay it so that you hear it right before the play to avoid potential live feed. You might be on a seven second delay, but you will get it. The winner in all of this is you the fan.You’re the winner in all of this stuff. Roger Goodell is the reason the NFL is much more progressive. Isn’t it funny how baseball, the so called intellectual sport, always has its head in the sand? The NFL is said to be just a bunch of 300 pound dopes, but the NFL is miles ahead of MLB. Three percentage attendance drops have Roger Goodell already addressing all the owners saying “we have got to make the stadium experience less vulgar, more accessible...” I think Jerry Jones and the Cowboys went the wrong way. I think they built a gigantic stadium that is super expensive, hard to get into, and hard to get out of. There is also a huge flat screen television that everyone stares at. I think that’s the wrong way, but I guess he’s smarter than me. I think what you will see in the NFL is very similar to what you see in Los Angeles with the Staple Center, where it feels like one big luxury box. You can say what you want, but people in Los Angeles have options. They make a little more money, they got the beats, the baby dolls, and they got other pro sports. In order to get a Laker fan, it’s not just winning. You have to make winning a really great experience. You’ve got LA Live right next to the Staple Center, and I’ve been saying this for years now. The NBA in-stadium experience, if you have a good team, is arguably much better than the NFL instadium experience. It’s indoors, I can see the players, I’m closer to the action, I get cocktails, it’s like a social scene. There is more room (elbow wise) and the stadium only seats 16,800. I’m in and out in 10 minutes. So you’re going to see the NFL try to steal something from the NBA. Jerry Jones did that to some degree, but he made the stadium too big, and God knows it must be a mission to get in and get out and 90 per cent of the public won’t go in there, with the exception of the Superbowl this year. Don’t get me wrong, it’s got a lot of great things, but it’s not as intimate to me as you’d like to have a stadium be.
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Comics & Distractions
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
Marta Borowska imprint staff
t’s debatably cute. Coming from South America, the squirrel monkey’s habitat is undoubtedly the rainforest. Like other small monkeys, they spend most of their time in the middle to top canopy of the tree, leaping when they manoeuvre from place to place.
A common misconception is that squirrel monkeys can leap using their tails. However, after the squirrel monkey leaves infancy, their ability to grasp with their tail, fades. One of the remaining perks of having a tail after the baby stage is that it allows the monkey to keep its balance. This helps the animal when travelling down the canopy to gather food or search for water.
They have an insectivorous diet but also eat fruit, leaves, nuts, birds’ eggs and sap. Their water source typically comes from fruit and tree water accumulation, but you can find them occasionally coming down to the ground to drink if there is no water left in the nooks of the trees. Their 20-year lifespan does not stop the critters from regularly mating in mating season and it gives them more than enough time to develop social relationships within their kind.
Jordano Tonial teaches you to fall asleep
s anyone who’s ever ridden public transportation with me knows, I can pretty much fall asleep on anything and anyone, regardless of their age, gender, or foreignness. While you are rolling around in your bed trying to suspend your brain activity, I’m probably fast asleep on the shoulder of a stranger on the bus, before they give me the inevitable awkward shoulder shrug to wake me, that is. Now you might be asking me, ‘How do you do it despite all the noise, light, and poor people around’? Now I’m no scientist (CHEM 258, and alcohol saw to that), but I’m pretty sure that when you fall asleep you’re teleported into another dimension. So how do I fall asleep to the point that I’m borderline narcoleptic? I daydream, like a lot, so much that 95 per cent of my waking life is spent in a state of delusional lucid dreams. Most of the time that I spend in this fantasy world I’m usually – oh hold on a second the President wants me to play space golf with Megan Fox and Orville Redenbacher. … Okay back. Well apparently Orville Redenbacher has much better game than I do, what was I talking about? Oh right, sleeping. Like MGMT’s “Time to Pretend” (or at least, this is the best way I can put it without sounding completely idiotic) when you’re ready to fall asleep, start dreaming before you go to bed, this makes the transition easy and unnoticeable. Jordano manages to hate the Red Cross
teng teng zhang
The Squirrel Monkey Sunshine Animal Rocky loves boxing. He uses his professional acrobatic skills within the ring against other squirrel monkeys, rousing the audience, making them chant, “FINISH HIM.” The undefeated chimpion’s next match is this Saturday, against last year’s second place winner, Bullwinkle.
Because of this summer’s heat wave, the Canadian Red Cross was giving out free bottles of water to people at public parks, as a reminder to stay hydrated. Fuck that. If you need a “reminder” to remember that when it’s hot outside you should drink water, then I don’t know if you if you deserve to live. I mean, c’mon a dog knows that when it’s hot outside — DRINK WATER. Are you honestly dumber than A DOG? C’mon people, you don’t need to be babied, for Christ’s sake, besides breathing it’s the most basic evolutionary move to stay alive. Fuck, plants open up more to drink more water when it’s hot outside. You are literally being less responsive THAN A FUCKING PLANT, think about that. The human body can survive three days in the desert without water, I think you’ll be okay for an afternoon at the goddamned park.
Comics & Distractions
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
Sept. 24, 2010
Dear Hot SLC Onlooker While your admiration is appreciated, everyone is vying to be the Turnkey who caught your eye. So you should stop by the desk and introduce yourself to the Turnkey you meant and end this disagreement among our Turnkey family. -The Turnkey Desk Missed any connections lately? Got any ideas, gripes, or randomly entertaining thoughts? Send them (with utmost affection) to:
crossword ACROSS 1. Prof. Farnsworth’s locale 5. Home to Christ the Redeemer 11. Helsinki School of Economics 14. It turns turtles into ninjas 15. Sweet liquers (Ital.) 16. Off-roader 17. Don Diego de la Vega’s drink of choice 20. Noteworthy scarcity 21. State between Minn. and Mt. 22. Remove troops 23. Where American Eagles buy bras 24. Missile Defense Agency 25. Sound of annoyance 27. Sony’s online gaming service (abbr.) 28. Munch 31. Simba’s drink of choice? 33. Female robber of the seas 34. “One ___ time.” 37. Transaction recording books (alt.) 38. Big Brit 39. Xbox Motorsport series 40. O3 42. University of Tennessee Institute of Agriculture 43. PepsiCo. snack food division 46. David Bowie’s drink of choice? 50. Serenity’s second in command 51. Expressed boredom 52. With regard to 53. Triple bond suffix 54. Ms. Gabor 55. National Healthcare Safety Network DOWN 1. Bridge bid 2. How some ride rollercoasters 3. Longest serving captain of an NHL team 4. Filipino construction co. 5. Scottish fishing village 6. Geeky Friend 7. Inquires 8. Popular Facebook world 9. Independent Living Fund
CATCHING Zs 1
By Mike Koivusalo 7
10. Ms. Lemon 11. Sprint 12. Bering or Hudson 13. Elicit 18. British news channel (abbr.) 19. Boxing punch 23. “From ____” (all) 25. Terrible ____ 26. Type of African hand drums 28. Slavic monarch 29. Crude, temporary shelters 30. Sweet suffix 31. Angular pattern 32. Length x width
33. Point nearest the body being orbited 34. Do away with 35. Lessees of land 36. Watch over, with “keep” 37. Soothing skin liquid 39. Like Wuzzy the bear 40. Sudden death and shootouts, e.g. 41. 2008 Adam Sandler character 43. Henry Winkler to his fans 44. Fish egg masses 45. 2006 Sherwood Smith book 47. Rush instrumental song 48. British special forces regiment (abbr.) 49. Kiss sound
Comics & Distractions
Imprint, Friday, October 1, 2010
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