Imprint The university of Waterloo’s official student newspaper
Friday, January 26, 2006 vol 29, no 24
imprint . uwaterloo . ca
Battle of the Powder Puffs
The history of Princess Cinemas Now playing on page 16
Players ready themselves for the snap during an intense evening practice as one of UW’s three Powder Puff flag football teams. The practice took place at the Burt Matthews Hall green, to prepare for the this year’s Powder Puff tournament. The event takes place at University Stadium starting Friday, February 9 and ends with the final game the afternoon of Sunday, February 11. Coached by members of UW’s varsity football team, three UW teams will face off against roughly 20 others from various universities.
Warriors extend winning streak to seven games See page 32
Denise Savoie proposes Private Member’s Bill to combat student debt Jeff Anstett staff reporter
Celebrating 25 years of support and education See page 10
Denise Savoie, the post-secondary education critic for the New Democratic Party and MP for Victoria, held a press conference last week in Vancouver to discuss her new Private Member’s Bill, which will re-evaluate student loans and grants in Canada. Savoie laid out her “Students First” plan, which includes doubling federal grant monies available and providing provinces with the resources to freeze or roll back tuition, as well as reinvest in capacity and quality of education. Savoie said that her bill is in response to horror stories she’s heard across the country of student debt, particularly the debt accrued by Canadians coming from low and middle income families. “We always talk about students as being the future leaders of Canada, and yet courtesy wikimedia we don’t hesitate to put
the milk-film of huge debt around their necks just as they’re starting their careers.” The Vancouver-area MP declared tackling student debt the first priority of post-secondary education, mentioning that the current government’s first order of business should have been to guarantee the funding for the expiring Millennium Foundation Scholarship be continuously rolled into non-repayable student grants. Current funding for the Federal Millennium Fund is set to expire in 2009. Savoie also stressed the importance of continued funding, noting “A one-time drop in the bucket is not adequate. “I’m going to offer [Human Resources Minister Monte Solberg] … the first priority of post-secondary education and that is to tackle student debt.” The plan hopes to reduce student debt by roughly 25 per cent per year of study. Secondly, Savoie wants to implement a comprehensive federal student
grant co-ordinated with the province to replace to the system “cobbled together by successive Liberal and Conservative governments.” Savoie thirdly hopes to overhaul “a very rigid Canada student loan system. “We need to make it fairer, more responsive, more flexible for students.” Most of the ability to implement these changes will come if the governing party accepts Savoie’s call to sever Canada’s social transfer payments so that money given will be given more transparently. The current system, according to Savoie, lacks transparency and Savoie worries that money is not always being spent on the priorities set forth by the federal government. The idea of cutting transfer payments and instead paying directly into programs approved by the federal government will, according to the Bill, increase accountability and value to the student. See DEBT, page 3
Friday, January 26, 2007
email@example.com News Editor: Suzanne Gardner News Assistant: Narmeen Lakhani
Debt: education critic proposes “Students First” plan
Dinh Nguyen staff reporter
Your dog is usually your best friend. You play with them, talk to them, touch them, sleep with them and now, thanks to Terrie Berenden of Netherlands, you can drink with them, too Inspired by an after-hunting tradition, Berenden, a Dutch pet shop owner has created a doggy beer from beef extract and malt. “Once a year we go to Austria to hunt with our dogs, and at the end of the day we sit on the veranda and drink a beer. So we thought, my dog also has earned it,” said Berenden. According to the Canadian Press, after consigning the product to a local brewery, Berenden introduced the non-alcoholic dog beer to the market, advertising it as “a beer for your best friend.” The product was released under the name “Kwispel,” which is Dutch for wagging tail, and is fit for both animal and human consumption. However, at this point, “Kwispel” costs $2.14 USD per bottle, four times the price of a Heineken and hangover. U.S.
Michael L. Davenport
The NDP’s post-secondary education critic, Denise Savoie, proposes a “Students First” plan, which will re-evaluate student loans and grants in Canada. Savoie’s new Private Member’s Bill will re-invest in the quality of education. Continued from page 1
“They always say follow the money. It’s a way to follow the money and it’s about accountability.” Speaking with Imprint after the press conference, Savoie talked about the danger of corporate and private donations. “There’s money that goes to research and I think it is important to ensure that the integrity of the research is somehow protected.” Specifically discussing schools like the University of Waterloo, which receive large sums of money to invest in technology programs, Savoie admitted that technology programs are extremely important to Canada and to expanding as a country, but that these programs cannot be expanded at the expense of liberal arts and humanities programs. Responding to one audience member who quipped, “technology will never solve social problems,” Savoie said she believes it is important to invest in all aspects of education, even if that means turning away tied corporate donations. “I think, at the moment, with the underfunding of students publicly, there has been a gravitation toward private money.” Savoie followed by stressing that research priorities
“Savoie admitted that technology programs are extremely important to Canada and to expanding as a country, but that these programs cannot be expanded at the expense of liberal arts and humanities programs.“ should not necessarily be those of the private sector but those priorities identified by the university. UW Federation of Students vice-president of education Jeff Henry explained that the issue is “not to stop A, but to find a way to help B,” meaning that we should not try to halt specialized corporate funding, but that we need to try to find a way to increase funding for all programs. He continued by saying that “helping A doesn’t have to hurt B, ideally” and
that the “broader issue is the transparency of university government” regarding the origin of their funding. When Parliament resumes Monday January 29, Savoie hopes to table her Private Member’s Bill, which would ask the federal government to table a Post-Secondary Education Act, addressing the concerns listed in Savoie’s bill. Savoie is hoping her bill will win the support of the governing Conservatives, cashing in on the governing party’s fragile minority status. Savoie admits she has not been in close consultation with members of the Liberal Party and has not consulted with any members of the Bloc Quebecois. When asked how he felt about Savoie’s Private Member’s Bill, Waterloo MP Andrew Telegdi said, “I’ve always been in support of anything in support of post-secondary education… because students, they’re our future.” He cautioned, however, that the legislative assembly receives thousands of Private Member’s Bills every year. Drawn by lottery, if Savoie’s proposal is selected it might still be up to a year until a final bill is passed — and even then, the government will not necessarily act on that bill. firstname.lastname@example.org
After escaping her cage, Judy, a chimpanzee at Little Rock Zoo in Arkansas, rampaged into a nearby service area and rummaged through chimp snacks, soft drinks and cleaning supplies. According to Chron News, the 120-pound primate ran loose when a zookeeper, unaware of Judy’s presence, opened the door to her sleeping quarters. The chimp ran out, got hold of some sponges and started to scrub the refrigerator and floors, while consuming whatever juices, pops and foods she could rip through. “Then she went in the bathroom and picked up a toilet brush and cleaned the toilet,” said Ann Rademacher the zoo’s primate keeper .“Her technique was good enough to make me think she must have done it before.” Before her zoo life, which started in 1988, the 37-year-old Judy lived as a house pet. This, according to Rademacher on Chron News “might explain how Judy knew how to wring out a sponge and scrub down the fridge.” Zoo officials tried to control the situation by luring Judy into accepting a strawberry yogourt laced with sedatives. After a moment, while holding half a loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread, Judy fell asleep on top of the refrigerator. A classic case of monkey see, monkey clean do-do. Germany
Science has its limits, and by the looks of things, so do the scientists. After three years of hard work and failed attempts at making a sloth move as part of an experiment conducted on animal movements, researchers from the University of Jena in Germany have finally given up. According to Associated Press, the sloth, named Mats, refused to budge even after pounds of cucumbers and plates of homemade spaghetti were placed in front of it. Failing to get Mats to climb up and down a pole, scientist from the University’s Institute of Systematic Zoology and Evolutionary Biology became frustrated and remanded the sloth to a zoo in the northwestern city of Duisburg. Researcher Axel Burchardt of the University of Jena understands that “Mats obviously wanted absolutely nothing to do with furthering science.” email@example.com
FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
U-Pass Round 2: referendum will be held in March
Narmeen Lakhani assistant news editor
Due to increased student interest on the topic, the Federation of Students has decided to hold a referendum in March to decide on the issue of the universal bus pass. About 2,500 students signed the petition for a referendum over the course of the past few days, greatly impacting the decision to move forth with the issue. According to Kate Daley of the Feds board of directors, “What is important […] is that students will have a say this term on whether or not they want a non-refundable bus pass.”
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The Feds board of directors cannot complete the request for a referendum in February, as had been suggested, because the issue requires much more research. The potential non-refundable bus pass will significantly impact the finances of the students at the University of Waterloo. Feds vice-president administration and finance Renjie Butalid said, “Given the sizeable support as demonstrated by a circulated petition and the substantial financial implications of a bus pass, the board is obliged to give sufficient attention to the details of how the pass would work.”
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remember in the upcoming election to ask candidates if they can think critically, think laterally and work with people [who] agree and disagree with them to find solutions that will be fair to all students.” He emphasized that the job of an executive is more than just asking students what they think once a month in the SLC Great Hall, the Bomber or anywhere else; it is also making sure that you go through the right steps to think of the problems and pitfalls for all students before getting to the destination.” The Feds is the voice of around 22,000 full-time undergraduate students. The Feds job is not to make a
decision about the Universal Bus Pass based on personal beliefs about the issue. The board of directors will carry out the decision made by the voters that are present for the referendum in March, the turnout forecasted to be positive as portrayed by the interest in the petition alone. As a final note on the issue Butalid added, “The responsibility of promoting the referendum once it has been called rests on the individual ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ committees and it is up to them to educate students on the issues pertaining to the referendum.” firstname.lastname@example.org
Term of office: May 1, 2007 to April 30, 2008 Senate term begins May 1, 2007 For Feds election: February 13 to 15
The following is a list of candidates for the 2007 Federation of Students elections.
Feds executives President
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Among the tasks to be completed over the next month is a meeting with the Grand River Transit to figure out an arrangement of how the service would work for the students. Also, the details of how the pass would be administered will be discussed with the university. If the U-Pass is approved in March, the new members of the Feds board of directors will greatly bear the responsibility of following through with the work required to initiate use of the pass. According to Butalid, the role of future executives on the issue is an important topic to consider in the upcoming Feds election. He added that “students should
Vice-president administration and finance
Vice-president education ►
Nhu Nhat Nguyen
Senate Applied health sciences
Jenna van Draanen
Please mail cover letter, resume, writing samples to: Imprint Publications, Imprint, the University of Waterloo’s CCNA award-winning student newspaper is looking for an Waterloo, Attn: Jeff Anstett, University of editor-in-chief. The position demands a high level of journalism knowledge, basic knowledge of Waterloo, 200 University Avenue W., Student photography principles and excellent leadership skills. Life Centre, room 1116, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G1 A post-secondary degree in journalism or a related field is ideal. Ability to work with and teach Adobe CS2, The deadline is Wed, January 31, especially InDesign and Photoshop, and general administrative computer usage is essential. Familiarity with 2007. Pagemaker, QuarkXPress, Unix/Linux is a definite asset. Other qualifications include a willingness to work in a fast-paced environment with occasional unconventional hours.
FRIDAY, January 26, 2006
A deal you don’t want up in smoke
Ian MacKinnon as CRO
properly. The CRO is also in charge of making sure the voters’ list is accurate for the election.” This past week, former Federation of Students MacKinnon discussed how he expects this councillor Ian MacKinnon was instated as chief year’s Feds election to play out, referring to returning officer for this year’s Feds annual how “last year there were two executive posielection. MacKinnon is taking this position tions that were decided by fewer than 50 votes, after former CRO Brandon Sweet was hired and given that the top two candidates from as the university’s vice-president of university the 2006 presidential race are running again, relations. we can expect that any According to and a handful of their MacKinnon, the chief friends can decide the “The CRO ensures that returning officer is election.” one of five members He said that “what proper balloting takes of the election comthe elections commitmittee, along with a place online for students tee is most looking chief electoral officer forward to this year is and that all votes are who chairs the comseeing how candidates mittee; one memwill use media tools recorded properly. The ber of Feds who has like Facebook and been (or currently CRO is also in charge of YouTube to enhance is) a member of the their campaigns.” making sure the voters bylaws, policies and He commented procedures commitfurther on how canlist is accurate for the tee; one member of didates did use Facestudents’ council and book to some extent election.” one undergraduate in the 2006 election student-at-large. campaign, but that The official Stuwith the increasing dent Council Procedures, listed on the Feds adoption of Facebook on university camwebsite, further clarify the role of the position: puses the social networking website will most “the chief returning officer shall: ensure that likely play a bigger role during the campaign the online ballot and offline ballot are correct; period. test the online voting system and ballot; ensure “Personally,” said Mackinnon. “I’m hoping that undergraduate students who are not on the to see at least one YouTube video put forth Voters’ List but are members of the Federation by a ticket that ends with something to the of Students are able to vote offline.” effect of ‘I’m [candidate], and I approve this MacKinnon said that “the CRO ensures message.’” that proper balloting takes place online for students and that all votes are recorded email@example.com
Suzanne Gardner news editor
Valerie Leigh Broadbent
“Leave the Pack Behind,” run by UW Health Services, aims to convince smokers to quit their habit for good by offering “Let’s Make a Deal” prize incentives.
This week on campus... “Welcome Back Weekend” Friday January 26
Polar Jam (5 p.m. to 11 p.m.)* Movies (9 p.m. / 11:15 p.m.) Women’s V-ball (6 p.m.) Men’s V-ball (8 p.m.) Free Pizza and Pop (10:45 p.m.) CraftCorner — door hangers (9 p.m. to 2 a.m.) Campus Cove (9 p.m. to 1 a.m.)* *Tickets sold at Feds office in SLC
Saturday January 27
Deal or No Deal (9 p.m. to 11 p.m.) Craft Corner - frames/masks (9 p.m. to 12 a.m.) Jamaican folk Dance Lessons (9 p.m. to 11 p.m.) Women’s Hockey (2 p.m.) Men’s Hockey (7:30 p.m.) Free Ice Cream Sundaes (10:45 p.m.) Movie - The Prestige (11 p.m.) Bring WATCARD for events more info at www.warriorweekends.uwaterloo.ca SLC, PAC, CIF
Thursday February 1
Food Not Bombs — WPIRG sponsors Food Awareness Day with info fair, SWAP table, free lunch, film screenings and discussion forums. SLC 10:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.
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FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
A slippery origin for the “Spirit of ‘Why not?’”
I went tobogganning last week. It was probably the first time in many years — ever since I could no longer fold myself into my trusty orange sled. A couple years ago, I rescued an old wooden toboggan and have been waiting for the right combination of snow and free time. Last week there was plenty of snow, and I had an excuse: a friend was babysitting an eight-year-old and an eleven-year-old, both of whom had lots of energy. Sure, I had plenty of work to do, but in the spirit of “why not?” I went tobogganning instead. (Did you catch it, that subtle quoting out of context of George Bernard Shaw? Somewhere there is an English Lit professor crying.) Through the powers of Google and the library’s journal database, I did some digging. The “spirit of ‘why not’” first appeared in the UW context in late 2005, in a national advertising campaign, likely an inadvertent slip of the Globe and Mail advertising department. UW’s “spirit of ‘why not?’” didn’t reappear until this month. So where did the “spirit of ‘why not?’” come from? Robert F. Kennedy was famous for nobly ending all of his speeches with “As George Bernard Shaw used to say: Some people see things as they are and say why. I see things that never were and say why not?” This became so ubiquitous that as soon as RFK started the phrase, the crowds began heading for the exits.
After all, there was nothing more to hear. However, ever diligent, the UW 50th Anniversary team likely hunted down the original quote. As David Johnston said at the launch party, the quote came from a George Bernard Shaw play. As I learned from Google, the play, Back to Methuselah, was published in 1921 and Shaw claimed it as his “Metabiological Pentateuch.” “Pentateuch” is the Greek name for the first five books of the Bible. Shaw’s metabiological twist was a response to the generation of scientists and thinkers that tried to explain away all human activity as merely biological. Shaw considered it a masterpiece; the critics were lukewarm. So where does the “spirit of ‘why not?’” come in? The first act is set in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve contemplating their fate. Eve complains to Adam, “You are lazy, you are dirty, you neglect yourself, you are always dreaming, you would eat bad food and become disgusting if I did not watch you and occupy myself with you.” Sound like any bad roommates you’ve had? It is only when Adam wanders off stage to deposit a dead fawn that the snake appears to Eve. It describes its ability to shed its old skins and regenerate itself. It is the snake who states the difference between itself and Adam and Eve. “If I can do that [regenerate], what can I not do? I tell you I am very subtle. When you and Adam talk, I hear you say ‘Why?’ Always ‘Why?’ You see things; and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say ‘Why not?’ I made the word dead to describe my old skin that I cast when I am renewed. I call that renewal being born.” The snake is daring, and willing to kick over the traces. God created paradise; the snake spread dissent and opened Adam and Eve’s eyes to new words,
which when uttered affect creation: miracles, laughter, love, jealousy, fear, hope. Sounds like a UW dorm. The snake metaphor is appropriate given UW’s birth when it shed Waterloo College and headed down the street to renew the university tradition. The religious context fits given that UW was birthed from a Lutheran Seminary (albeit itself in the process of being eclipsed by a more secular focus) and federated with a Catholic college. One might also point out the painful schism that this rent in the community. Damn that snake! A more appropriate quotation, or at least one that best describes the UW mentality, comes later in the act. Once again, the snake chastises Adam and Eve: “I make no vows. I take my chances. It means that I fear certainty as you fear uncertainty. It means that nothing is certain but uncertainty. If I bind the future I bind my will. If I bind my will I strangle creation.” “When the world is new, or for example the campus is but a few portables, anything can happen. Nothing is certain. As the world ages, these are more rules, and fewer opportunities to say “why not?” When the world is new, or for example the campus is but a few portables, anything can happen. Nothing is certain. As the world ages, there are more rules and fewer opportunities to say, “Why not?” Sounds like UW right now: slowly congealing to strangle creation as it matures. So there you have it, the “spirit of ‘why not?’:” either a lesson from a charming prolific author echoing the Fall, or a jingoistic catchphrase by a charismatic politician. I wonder what Shaw would think? email@example.com
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Friday, January 26, 2007
firstname.lastname@example.org Opinion Editor: Anya Lomako Opinion Assistant: Brendan Pinto
Friday, January 26, 2007 — Vol. 29, No. 24 Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editor-in-chief, Tim Alamenciak email@example.com Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas firstname.lastname@example.org General Manager, Catherine Bolger email@example.com
Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Margaret Clark Cover Editor, Dinh Nguyen Photo Editor, Michael L. Davenport Assistant Photo Editor, Valerie Broadbent Graphics Editor, Christine Ogley Assistant Graphics Editor, vacant Web Editor, vacant Assistant Web Editor, vacant Systems Administrator, vacant Sys. Admin. Assistant, Peter Gibbs Lead Proofreader, Emma Tarswell Proofreaders Shivaun Hoad, Kaitlin Ojamae, Adrienne Raw Production Staff Shannon Tawil, Linda Kong Ting, Kirill Levin, Duncan Ramsay, Neal Moogk-Soulis, Katrina Graf, Tom Levesque, Cindy Ward, Ryan Nahlé, some graphics by Peter Trinh Office Staff Distribution, Andrea Meyers Distribution, Amy Pfaff Sales Assistant, Kristen Miller Board of Directors firstname.lastname@example.org President, Jeff Anstett email@example.com Vice-president, Adam Gardiner firstname.lastname@example.org Treasurer, Jacqueline McKoy email@example.com Secretary, Stephen Eaton firstname.lastname@example.org Staff liaison, Darren Hutz email@example.com
Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request. Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our code of ethics and journalistic standards. Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122. Next board meeting: Tuesday, January 30 at 2:30pm
Vancouver lessons: fuck shit up The story of Imprint’s CUP experience on the West coast
Between the hours of workshops and latenight hotel parties, Imprint started a revolution. Throughout the conference we were told by numerous presenters that the role of campus media is, to quote Jian Ghomeshi, to “stir shit up.” Ghomeshi partied in our room later — it was good times. First, a little back story. The Canadian University Press (CUP) national journalism conference always features a daily newspaper called The Planet. It’s a quickly-produced singlesheet tabloid gently folded and placed around the conference. This has been the conference’s only source of news — a teet on the belly of the administration. Now being the renegade, non-CUP paper that we are, the Imprint crew decided to stir shit up. The first issue of CUP a Feel, a letter-sized sheet poorly photocopied at a seedy internet cafe, hit the stands Saturday, January 21 at 2:00 a.m. It was an absolute and utter farce, but everyone was talking about it in the morning. The layout was simple; the content was funny; and our distribution was extensively done through word of mouth. While the paper didn’t exactly provide a manifesto for any sort of organized, thoughtful movement, it still had an impact. Just $20 of photocopies and we had started a phenomenon: the first alternative newspaper to show up at this year’s conference. The experience of CUP a Feel is like the look on an airport security guard’s face when you say, “My laptop is the bomb.” It’s a metaphor for the entire experience to come. The conference shook things up
and encouraged us to shake things up. Design critic Steve Chow had three words of wisdom for Imprint, “Fuck shit up.” He was talking about our layout and design. Once we argued for a few minutes, the articulate Steve Chow managed to get across the idea that the presentation of a story contributes to the storytelling process. But it’s not all flim-flammy rebelliousness. Ghomeshi, former King of Spain who now eats humble pie, emphasized the importance of preparation and education before stirring the pot of shit. While a good number of workshops and speeches focused on alternative media theories, the Imprint crew spent a long time sitting through technical workshops and roundtables. Our publication is going to turn from a town crier to a dangerous weapon. We will become newspaper ninjas — a team of deadly, trained journalists intent on stirring shit up. There was time to digest the conference. Asking myself the question, “What did we learn?” I come up with a different answer than expected. I could spend these paragraphs running through the list of workshops and all the great skills we have picked up, but that’s not the most important thing. The most important thing this conference has given to us is perspective. Seeing other newspapers and talking to other journalists ignited the fire in the hearts of attendees. This fire will spread throughout the office and show up in the pages of Imprint. I mentioned the need for chutzpah and a lust for competition in the news sphere. This conference accomplished for Imprint much of what competition would have done. The fires lit under the ass of our paper have led to many revelations. For instance, since being hired as editor-inchief here in October 2005, I have never met president David Johnston. Not only that, but efforts to get comment from him are frequently troubled. He wanted to meet once to discuss a column I wrote for the November issue titled, “Cheriton deal immoral.” The column discussed David R.
Cheriton’s donation to the school of computer science with respect to previous actions of his that had been reported on by another newspaper. Incidentally, digging up the shady past can put you in the crosshairs of those in power. When I requested the meeting with Johnston be on the record, he cancelled. And again, communications and public affairs published a 50th anniversary pullout for The Record. It’s a gorgeous pullout, but it was all put together without the help of Imprint. I had contacted Kelley Teahen over at CPA in the summer. Upon reminding her of my offer, she wrote this in an e-mail: “[...] our deadline was a month earlier than we anticipated (long story) so we ended up buckling down and pulling stuff together ourselves rather than draw on contributions from a wider range of sources.” Any of my volunteers would pounce on the opportunity to be published in a major daily newspaper. They would put their all in to it. But alas, no love for the student journalists. Administration’s attitude towards our paper is, in some ways, warranted. We have printed things in the past that were way out of line. But I would expect maturity to prevail in this situation. Ultimately, Imprint and the administration are here for the same purpose: to educate. Not only do we educate the student population on affairs of interest, but we provide a journalism education for our volunteers. Being at CUP and hearing the experiences of other newspapers has truly shed light on how lightly we take our student paper. Not just the administration, but the student body is dismissive of Imprint too. Again, not without reason. I plan to change all of this. I’ve only got a few months left, but in those few months I hope to encourage the entire campus to take Imprint seriously. I will show you the well of knowledge and talent bubbling in the basement of the Student Life Centre. Mind the ninjas. firstname.lastname@example.org
All you need for a winter workout plan freeze we call the winter term at Waterloo. I’ll start with the easy ones first. Stop drinking beer. It’s a well known fact that drinking beer gives you a beer belly. Instead, I recommend liquor.
Mid January marks the beginning of the most depressing time of the year. The days are shorter, the nights are, go figure, longer. Cold winds blow shards of ice that get stuck under your eyelids while you walk between classes. All you really want to do is stay home all day to drink mug after mug of delicious hot cocoa and dine on fine Cornish game hens. At times like these it may be hard to motivate yourself to stay in shape, but fear not fellow students, because that’s what I’m here for. Just think of me as your own personal drill sergeant, except without the years of bottled up rage or a buzz cut. I’ve compiled some excellent strategies for keeping yourself fit during this depressing, frigid, deep
How can you be burning calories if you’re wasting all that time sitting around reading macroeconomics or physchology textbooks? Have you ever heard of a liquor belly? The answer to that rhetorical question is “no.” There’s a reason for that. It’s because there’s no such thing. If liquor did cause undesirable fitness side effects, then there would be a witty alliteration to describe it. Since no such phrase
exists, it’s pretty safe to conclude that there are no such side effects. The second strategy is to give up reading. As everyone knows, reading provides no physical benefits whatsoever. How can you be burning calories if you’re wasting all that time sitting around reading macroeconomics or psychology textbooks? Reading is just a waste of the time that should really be devoted to chiseling your body into a masterpiece. This means put down your Grapes of Wrath; drop your required readings and course notes; burn that Imprint. These false friends are only standing between you and your dream of a totally hot bod. There are a few other obvious fitness strategies like joining a campus rec team, going to the gym or starting a fight club. These are all fine, but aren’t for everyone. The key to sticking to a fitness regime is to find something that you like and, as such, is not something that I can tell you. What you need is creative inspiration. See FROSTY FITNESS, page 9
FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
‘Tis better to give than to receive mail Unfortunately for me — though admittedly much worse for Imprint readers — my eternal wellspring of inspiration occasionally dries up. While this happens from time to time, it usually ends up going back to being an eternal wellspring if I wait long enough. During these lulls, I like to go back to the ol’ inbox and read mail from the fans of my column. You all know who you are out there. Well you don’t all know who you are, but just hang in there, identity-crisis Bill. One of the first ones I ever received came from Michele Heng. “Hi Brendan, I just read your article and it made me laugh out loud. Thanks. Michele Heng, mild feminazi.” I’m not entirely sure what exactly it was you found funny about “Double the standard, double the fun.” Maybe it was a nervous laughter
bred from the intimidation of finding a monolithic intellectual presence on the pages of Imprint. Trust me, I understand. I laugh nervously in the face of greatness all the time. I only assume this is the case because I’ve never been a fan of comedy. The only thing worse than someone who thinks they’re funny is a self-indulgent columnist. I’m still single by the way, so tell your friends. Here’s one from a German exchange student named Walter: “Hi, just wanted to say thanks for the great articles this term. When I didn’t have much time I almost always read at least your column and it was even more fun when people reacted in the next issue…” I remember getting that one way back at the end of last term and needless to say, I was amazed. It was literally a mind-blowing experience, kind of like when that first Matrix movie came out. Do you have any idea how much money that flick generated? If you knew, it would probably blow your mind too. My father has always told me that it “takes all kinds to make the world,” and so there have been occasions where students of this fine establishment have taken exception with my work.
Thus some of what I write meets with dissenting voices. A message-boarder signed as Pauli on the Imprint website had this to say. “Dude... seriously...You’re not Hunter S. Thompson (if you even know who that is) so stop trying to be so ridiculously controversial. Your writing sucks a big fat one and I don’t understand how you were brought on staff at Imprint...” Pffft, of course I know who Hunter S. Thompson is, but the actor’s real name was Johnny Depp. Bet you feel pretty stupid right now. Saying that my “writing sucks” and you don’t “understanding how you were brought on staff at Imprint” isn’t just redundant, it is superfluously repetitive. I’d also like to point out that I’m not intentionally controversial. Sure, I have strong opinions, but you can’t spell opinion without pinio. And that’s very close to pinto. And my name’s Pinto. Think about it. More recently, with regard to my scathing exposé on global warming, I received this e-mail from Lexx C: “I have just now for the first time been introduced to your column by Google alerts, which e-mail me each time ‘Greenpeace’ is in the news. It
was absolutely delightful. Signed, lovingly, a crunchy Greenpeace employee.” Now, this is from a Greenpeace employee who actually approved of my “Back off big environment” article. I just like to respond by saying I don’t take too kindly to sarcasm. Sarcasm is for cowards who are too afraid to say what they are thinking directly to you. Why would anyone pretend to take the opposing stance of what their actual opinions are? That’s just confusing and weakens the moral fiber of our campus. There have been so many more, from both sage supporters on one side to idiot scorn-jockeys on the other, but I am only given so much space in the paper each week. I’m Brendan Pinto and I’m single (but in complete control of my malignant need for affirmation), so tell your friends.
man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him. —The Buddha
I have a guy friend who’s been single for some time. This perpetual state of bachelorhood really seems to irk him. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to talk to women, or that they intimidate him — far from it actually. He has a lot of female friends with whom he’s very close — I’ve even gone so far as to call him my gay-straight friend as he is so good at giving dating advice. So why, then, does this great guy seem to have such trouble finding a
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mate? He often pins it on the fact that he’s “too nice.” He is a very nice guy, but I don’t think that’s necessarily the detriment. He’s not alone, however, in believing that being the “nice guy” means he’s always going to finish last. There’s an advice column on Askmen.com that addresses this very issue. The “expert” sympathizes with the situation, saying he’s had girlfriends in the past who’ve left him for jerks, or been rejected for one and so on. But he goes on to say, “Stop blaming women” and advises that the man in question address his own flaws instead. Here, the article links to “advice” which turns out to be a pitch for a book about picking up women — but that’s another column. I don’t think a book of pick-up tips is the right path to take. So, then, what can my unwillingly single friend do? Well, generally they say good things come to those who wait — but I don’t think he will be content with that. The thing is, the problem is not that he’s too nice — have you ever heard of a couple breaking up because on of them is “too nice”? No. The problem isn’t with nice guys; it’s about being assertive. These guys aren’t too nice, they just don’t know how to close the deal. Because they interact platonically on an intimate level with lots of women, they can be too polite and fear causing offence. Asking to kiss a girl is one of the worst things you can do. You just kiss her. Being nice can be misconstrued as passivity. It’s not that they’re too nice, it’s that they are too friendly — there’s a big difference. A guy can be very nice and still be very clear that he wants in your pants — which isn’t a bad thing if you want in his pants, too. If a woman construes your advances as merely friendly from the beginning, it very much lessens the chance of the situation altering the future. Nice guys of the world, don’t intentionally become an ass, just realize sometimes you have to offend, sometimes you have to be clear, but most of all, you have to be assertive. Be, be assertive. firstname.lastname@example.org
FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
Frosty fitness: the no-sweat manual Continued from page 7
This means that what you really need is a place to find creative inspiration. Wherever could that be? Did I just hear you say “on the internet, or in listings at the PAC”? Because that sounds an awful lot like reading… didn’t you even read the first half of this article? No, what you want is the inspirational power of television. The thing
Atheist vs. Pinto
To the editor, I figure Brendan Pinto’s probably getting a lot of hate mail right now from religious people who don’t know that his column is satirical. I figured I’d throw you for a loop and send in an argument from an atheist who does know his column is satirical. In his first couple of paragraphs, I find it hard to see what exactly he’s satirizing. I’ll just point out that I agree, in my mind, religion is a huge waste of time. Anyway, it’s in the later paragraphs that things get interesting. He brings up the case of the Crusades as an instance of religious violence, but it hardly stops there. Religion has also caused witch hunts, inquisitions, civil wars, international wars and terrorism, much of which is still going on today. Just look at the Middle East or North Ireland (though the cease-fire there has fortunately been holding in recent years). As for the Crusades themselves, Pinto tries to excuse them by saying they were to stop the in-fighting of Europe. Putting aside the issue of whether two wrongs make a right, what do you think caused the in-fighting? Religious differences again. Unfortunately, it’s actually true that religion seems to cause a lot of hatred in people. As an “out” atheist, I’ve been bombarded with my share of hate mail, and it can get ridiculously vicious. The simple fact that I’m an atheist seems to be all that bothers them. I also have friends who refuse to come out for fear of the hate and persecution they’d experience. Do I have a problem with some religious people? I indeed do. It’s not the ones saying “killing is a sin, lying is a sin, stealing is a sin,” though. It’s the ones saying “evolution is a sin, homosexuality is a sin, atheism is a sin.” I also have a few big problems with religion as a whole which Pinto never touches on in his satire. The main problem here is the religion tends to shut off or suppress critical thinking skills in people. A key tenet in almost every religion is to accept things on faith, despite a lack of evidence for it or even evidence contradicting it. It’s easy to see how people get trapped in religion, actually, the dogma says unquestioned faith is good. And if you have faith, you’ll believe the dogma is true without question. From the outside, however, it’s an obvious case of circular logic. And then we come to the Stalin reference in his article, which is about one notch removed from an argument ad Nazium. There’s one big problem
about television is that the critically inspiring moment could come at any time and you don’t want to miss it. So park yourself in front of that TV and wait for your perfect workout regime to be dictated to you by the magical flickering light. Keep in mind that when inspiration does strike you need to be ready and at full strength. This means that while you’re watching TV
you should probably be cramming yourself with sugary treats to keep your energy levels high at all times. When that inspiration hits, you’ll be ready to pounce on it like a thing that has a tendency to pounce on something else which has a tendency to be pounced upon. Good luck and happy fitnessing.
with it, though: The nation Stalin tried to create was based more on what’s known as a “cult of personality.” It involves idolizing a leader as an almost religious figure, assuming everything they do is right, and suppressing all dissent. Those are the same actions that have been used by many theocracies in the past to maintain their stranglehold on power. The fact of the matter is that there have been no truly atheistic nations that didn’t fall into this problem. There have, however, been plenty of secular nations, where religion has been firmly separated from the workings of government, and these have been extraordinarily successful.
denied citizenship. This process is called attaining citizenship from one’s parents. The people who need to apply for retention of citizenship are people who attained their citizenship from their parents (as outlined in the previous paragraph) and whose parents were not born in Canada. So, if you immigrated to Canada, lived here for three years and then, as a minor, obtained citizenship with your parents, you do not fall into their category. Although you and your parents were not born in Canada and you obtained your citizenship through your parents, strictly speaking, you did not attain your citizenship from your parents and therefore do not have to apply for retention. Parts of the Imprint article, especially pertaining to student opinions on the topic, suggest that the previous scenario falls under the category of people having to apply for retentions. An example of this would be: “Eunice Bae, a life sciences student, defends her opinion: ‘They’ve already gone through the trouble of obtaining the citizenship once.’” If you obtained your citizenship via an application, this section of the Citizenship Act does not affect you, regardless where your parents were born. The Citizenship and Immigration Canada website has the criterions clearly outline and they even have quizzes to guide you through determining whether or not you need to apply for retention. The webpage is: www.cic. gc.ca/english/citizen/bornout-info. html
— Bryan Gillis Mathematical physics
Citizenship confusion cleared
To the editor, As an addendum to the article on the citizenship retention issue, I’d like to define what is meant by “attained citizenship right from their parents.” I’ve been talking to people all week who are confused by the Imprint article, which did not even mention what is considered to be attaining citizenship from one’s parents. A child born to Canadian parents is considered Canadian (by law) upon birth. If they were not born in Canada, then they are also citizens of their country of birth. These people need only register to get their Canadian citizenship cards. They do not go through the application process, as in they do not have to reside in Canada, have knowledge of English/French, fulfill a knowledge of Canada requirement, or stand the chance of being
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Friday, January 26, 2007
email@example.com Features Editor: Ellen Ewart Features Assistant: Christina Ironstone
Breaking glass ceilings since 1982
The main event is the centre’s 25th anniversary celebrations, which will be held during International Women’s Week. Photos by Cindy Ward
The University of Waterloo Women’s Centre passes a milestone as it celebrates its 25th anniversary. Launched in the school year of 1981-82, co-ordinators and volunteers at the centre are excited about celebrations and activities planned for winter 2007 and look forward to a future of positive change amongst the student body, while continuing their dedicated path in the support of women and women’s issues on campus and beyond. Current co-ordinators of the Women’s Centre (TWC), Rose Schmidt and Margarita Osipian, are in their last terms at UW and will be working hard to leave their mark before they pass the torch. The plans for this term include a prominent awareness campaign for the centre, which will include a strong contingency for education about feminism. “There is a stereotype about feminism,” said Schmidt, “and there is a stereotype about the Women’s Centre.” As a first-time visitor to the centre during the term’s open house January 16, I found TWC to be a very warm and casual environment — in fact, it was tough to find even one hippie, bra-burning radical amongst them. Not
am thrilled to help.” She added,“Some might call that feminism; I also call it acceptance.” One volunteer at the meet-and-greet said, “It’s one thing to talk about aggression towards women, and the lack of pay equity and promotion in employment. What bothers me the most is when a woman doesn’t even realize that she’s being treated as a second-class citizen. It is usually because our society has socialized itself into believing that certain ways of behaviour are the norm. All of these are women’s issues and all of society needs to take a look at itself in order to find some kind of fair equilibrium.” The Women’s Centre is a service provided and funded by the Federation of Students. During last term’s annual general meeting of the Feds, it was voted to change the name of the Womyn’s Centre to the Women’s Centre based on recommendations in a service review by Feds earlier in the year. Sai Kit Lo, the current vice-president of internal services, says he hopes that by changing the name the centre will be viewed as a more inviting women’s information and service resource centre, which will draw even more women and men to the services provided. Rose Schmidt said, “If the name change brings about more interest and more people to the centre, I will be glad. The centre is underutilized and has so many great resources.”
People of all collars need a little love
You’re probably familiar with Chairman Mao, but less so with Zhou Enlai, the late prime minister who arguably held Communist China together through its formative years. Fiercely devoted to his cause, Zhou embraced the meeting of two fields regularly seen as extreme oppositions: “menial” labour and jobs requiring extensive academic study. Enlai advocated, for instance, that all urban engineers and government officials be required to spend time working with rural communities, to gain perspective on the revolution and strengthen
their sense of brotherhood. Enlai himself often toiled in the fields to prove his point. Yet Enlai, bizarrely, condemned the jack-of-alltrades mentality, and the same kind of dismissive declarations can be found in our own education structure, even as it tries to cater to divergent career paths. At my high school, for instance, there were two streams for the math program — which we as students invariably saw as “higher” and “lower” math. While the imposition of a hierarchy to these courses is only valid to a degree, applied math teaches “the basics” to a more practically useful extent than upper maths, which cover a lot more actual ground. The extended conclusion many make — that the kinds of work such “applied” courses gear students towards are themselves inferior — is dangerously false. I’m thinking here of construction jobs, plumbing, waste disposal — to say nothing of the retail, food services, custodial and basic record-keeping
The marketing department of the Feds, in conjunction with the centre’s co-ordinators, are working on a new logo for the centre which will be discussed organically and revealed in the coming weeks. The Federation of Students has also allocated a moderate budget increase to cover administration costs for the new name change, as well as a mild make-over for the centre and its resources. “These are exciting times.” said Schmidt, “Not only is the centre moving forward with 25 successful years under its belt, but the school term is jam-packed with great events and we are really looking forward to the 25th anniversary celebrations during International Women’s Week. With all efforts on deck, we hope for positive change and a greater awareness of women’s issues.” The Women’s Centre is located in the Student Life Centre in room 2102 (above the Bomber). They are currently accepting submissions for their annual publication — these can include stories, drawings, poems or anything else appropriate to women’s issues. Weekly discussion groups are held Tuesdays at 5:30 p.m. and everyone is welcome. Drop in anytime, or reach them on their website, www.women.uwaterloo. ca or by calling 519-888-4567 x33457.
work many students enter into after or during high school. Asked what he wants to be when he grows up, it’s the rare child who decides upon “data entry technician,” “street sweeper” or “Zehrs general manager,” but we don’t all end up doctors, teachers, lawyers and politicians. More importantly, we need people to do these other jobs — many of which, like plumbing and carpentry, require regularly updated skill-sets and produce very competitive, and consequently lucrative, job markets. Moreover, doing “menial” work can provide a great deal of personal freedom. A new friend of mine paints houses to pay the bills, but the flexibility of her hours and the instability of the job market also give her time to pursue more social change. In her case, though an institutionalized job would provide regular paycheques, it would also curtail her ability to fight actively for the causes she
surprisingly, the group turned out to be about 18 very down-to-earth women and men that were there to meet, greet and discuss issues about upcoming events for the centre. Their main event for this term is the centre’s 25th anniversary celebrations, which will be held during International Women’s Week, March 3 to 11, and will include lots of activities in the great hall at the SLC, as well as a live music festival at the Bomber on March 8. The volunteers at TWC are also hoping for a repeat success of their hit production of The Vagina Monologues, which premiered at UW last year to sold-out audiences at the Bomber. The venue for this year’s production is still under consideration; either way, mark February 14, 15 and 16 on your calendar, as more information is still to come. Besides events of music and joie de vivre, the Women’s Centre has a serious mandate — according to Schmidt, they provide resources, education and a safe supportive environment, to chill, to meet and to discuss individual and collective women’s issues. “I get a joy from talking to women,” said Schmidt. “A university setting doesn’t always show the inequities of our modern world, but if just one woman comes to the centre needing support, and our centre can provide the resources she needs to take a step in a positive direction, I
We don’t all end up doctors, teachers, lawyers and politicians.
believes in. House-painting, however, allows her more freedom to volunteer on her schedule. But especially as students, the real problems arise when we turn a dismissive attitude about jobs that don’t require PhDs back onto the people who are doing them. I see this ugly attitude rear its head in political science classes, where students, inspired in no small part by Plato’s The Republic, will frequently argue that the general population can’t be “trusted” with democracy — that most, for want of a university education, are unfit to participate effectively in the political process. This mentality is unfortunately mitigated by an opposing trend among many “unskilled” or “menial” workers to dismiss continuing education as the playground of the privileged. See FUTURE, page 12
Friday, january 26, 2007
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Friday, january 26, 2007
Learning beyond our borders Valerie Broadbent reporter
On Friday January 19, members of the Waterloo Tamil Student Association (WATSA) met in the SLC to inform students of the continuing plight of the Tamil people. Waterloo students gathered around the booths to listen to the four members as they provided information on their culture and history. Spicy food, beautiful jewelry, clothing and cultural artifacts were scattered around the booths for all to sample. The sari, their cultural dress, starts out as a simple piece of silk, similar to a long scarf. By a complicated process it is woven around the body to produce the beautiful colourful dresses they are so well known for. The food available consisted of sweet and spicy treats that most spice enthusiasts would love to sink their teeth into. Last, but not least, the cultural artifacts and jewelry, which sparkled even in the SLC’s light, were a sight to see. Bracelets covered in gems, golden bowls and stunning necklaces would be any young woman’s dream. But the wonderful culture was not their only reason for being there. The students told the story of the colonization of Sri Lanka in 1948 between the Tamil and the Sinhala administration. During that
time the government passed many laws that prevented the Tamil nation from being treated equally. The Standardization Act of 1971 prevented many Tamil students from entering university in favour of Singala students. This created a barrier on many Tamil students who wanted to pursue an education. In 1956 the Sri Lanka Freedom Party Government stated that Sinhalese would be the official language of the country. This turned the Tamils into second-class citizens incapable of obtaining any government positions unless they learned the language, putting many out of work. Riots began to occur as theepan vigneswaran the Sinhalese took advantage Broadbent learns how to dress in a sari while at the SLC booth. of their protected position in Sri Lanka. The Jaffna Public Library containing nearly 100,000 The military and the police seemed The members of WATSA presvolumes and manuscripts, as well as resistant to calming the situation as ent these events to provide people temples and churches in the surround- troops and officers (almost exclusively with an awareness of a situation ing area were burned to the ground. Sinhalese) continued to join in with the that is not common to Canadian A mini bus full of Tamils was set on rioters. Delivery of food and aid to help students. Where Canadian students fire, killing the 20 people who were the Tamil people are continuously be- enjoy the freedom to express their inside. Tamil homes and businesses ing hampered. Politicians, students and culture as well as pursue their eduwere destroyed leaving other non- civilians continue to be attacked today cational goals unrestricted, we often Tamil properties undamaged. with little government prevention. forget the struggle of our fellow students around the world. The theme, according to a pamphlet circulated at the event, was “To remember the innocent lives lost during the 23 years of conflict, in hopes of not repeating history and not live through the same miseries.”
Continued from page 10
Many view scholarly study as escapism and feel academics are impractical judges of how the real world works; as such, many question the right, peter trinh for instance, of politicians to lead, and for this reason don’t trust the system to provide real opportunities for them to effect change. How best do we reconcile these schools of thought — each with its own, unique perspective? Three options spring immediately to mind: one, further the accessibility of post-secondary education to whoever has proven their desire for it. Two, aggressively revisit social impressions that divide university, college, apprenticeship and on-the-job educations into a hierarchy of the elect and everybody else. Three, encourage people our age and younger to dabble in all realms of industry before solidifying a path in any one of them — if not for reasons of career advancement, at least to broaden their awareness of the world and, in the case of very labour-intensive jobs, to keep fit in a society rapidly governed by mousepotato industry. And after all, as the movie Office Space aptly demonstrates, we may start out as programmers, but a life in construction could still easily hold the key to true happiness. It is not what we do, ultimately, that makes any one of us inferior; it is only how and why we do what we do that makes it at all possible to measure one life against another and call any “more fulfilled.” firstname.lastname@example.org
To stress or to eat cookies Paul Bryant reporter
Got a minute? Peachy keen. Ask yourself this: Have you ever found yourself rushing to a class, lab meeting or event of comparable gravity and with eyes open, head up, swooshed right by a friend of yours without realizing it until they said your name? Don’t worry; the rest of this article isn’t going to be a vicious guilt trip. I’m just taking a rhetorical poll. Suffice it to say that I’ve snubbed many a person in my recent bookish existence — not because I’m a misanthropic troglodyte (fingers crossed), but because I was blinded by the liquid crystal display of my wristwatch. That’s right: I was busy. I don’t know about you, but when I’m busy, a neon pink, fire-breathing porpoise with a howitzer will scarcely tickle my attention. It’s no wonder, really. The scholar’s life is fraught with brain-melting burdens. Lengthy papers, assignments of variable significance and everlooming exams that hit like a grizzled hunk of cinder block smashed across your face. (Insert snarky exclamation of feigned joy here.) Navigating this labyrinth takes a bright light indeed, and if you don’t keep your chin up, the consequences will gladly use your sorry carcass as a doormat. Still with me? Okay, so, if this academic wave grows into a tsunami, my theory is that your world contracts, transforming into a land of symbols and time. Tick tock, you’re racing the clock, and accordingly, you will begin to perceive nothing more than symbols relevant to you (i.e. your time-
piece, traffic lights, computer screens, signs, etc). I find that this tends to occur whenever I’m writing a major paper. You buzz around on autopilot and dream of research databases. You become irritable; people poke your shoulder and then find themselves in a neck brace. Symbols are all you see. Seriously. Last term, I was disoriented enough to be trampled by an elephant in stiletto heels. This raises the question: if you’re experiencing this bizarre syndrome, what can you do to reverse, or at least attenuate, its devastating effects? Intuitively, you simply have to reorient yourself with the world. Socialize with friends, get some exercise and do something blatantly, intrinsically childish! Paint pictures, do cartwheels, babble nonsense — and always remember: cookies are eternally therapeutic. Our objective here is to chip away the steely, mechanical shell that has built up during your total submersion in number crunching, researching and studying, to unearth the more holistic person that lies beneath. Trust me, it works. Of course, no strange, personally-derived method of relieving scholarly stresses remedies the fact that university life is an ongoing journey. You will certainly experience the busy-student perceptual deficits so long as there are papers to be scribbled, assignments to slog through and exams to dread. But, hopefully, you will now stride brazenly into the fray with the understanding that no amount of toil can shake the informed student. Now go eat some cookies.
FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
Titillating tits bottoms — round breasts could be an erotic substitute for the round bum that you might not be able to see and enjoy when you are having a meaningful face-to-face conversation. But wait! Anthropologist Gillian Bently disagrees. She doesn’t think that my breasts are round because they are an erotic substitute, she says that my I like — no wait, I love my breasts! boobs are round so that I don’t suffoThey are round and perky and squishy cate my babies when I (one day) breast and soft. They make a nice cushion feed. As the human brain got bigger, when I hug people and they look the human skull had to change shape to great under my shirts and sweaters. accommodate, resulting in flatter faces. I check my breasts every month to Bently’s idea is that human breasts comake sure that there aren’t any lumps evolved, becoming bigger and rounder and just to say hello. to compensate for the infants’ flatter Although my breasts don’t at this faces, so that they could suckle without point in my life, I know that they will having a flat mass of flesh covering one day swell up and lactate to feed their nose and mouth. She suggests that my baby — I mean, that’s what breasts any sexual interest in these fancy round are for, technically, right? But if my breasts would have been secondary to breasts are just for feeding babies, not suffocating babies. why do people who find my gender Scientist and science fiction writer sexually attractive get so excited and David Brin, has a different idea about sometimes obsess over them? the co-evolution of my breasts. He Also, why are my breasts relatively doesn’t think that my breasts are an big and round? Do they really need to erotic substitute either though, because be that way to feed babies? All of our there are some other species of primate primate cousins do just fine with flat who mate face to face, and they don’t breasts — humans are the only have big round fun-bags ; Brin doesn’t mammal with round boobs think I need my breasts to make that stick out! straight men want to have sex with Luckily, I’m not the me, what I need is a way to make only one thinking about them want to stick around. Brin these titillating questions, says that during the evolution a few scientists have been of my species, my breasts and pondering the function and even my hourglass figure took evolution of breasts as well a back seat when it came to and have come up with attractiveness; the most some ideas. important thing was that Breasts can tell you a women retained certain lot about the woman at“child-like” traits: soft skin, tached to them: if they are big eyes, no beard, a high symmetrical, you can see voice, a thin neck, etc. Now, that she has good genetic humans were already holding diversity and had little exposure on to some child-like traits, to disease or malnutrition when this was important for having she was growing up. Many a flexible brain and personalscientists also assert that huity (which are also attractive), man breasts are larger because but the traits that Brin says we this indicates good nutrition inh human females picked up were r T r and fertility — in fact, they swell Pete important for not just attracting up even more during ovulation and a straight guy, but for attracting the right pregnancy — the fat in breasts is im- kind — the kind who will protect us, portant for lactation, which is in turn bring us tasty snacks, and will help us important for raising healthy babies to take care of the babies. grow up and work and marry and carry But if things had kept going along on their genes. this way, with fertile women looking This goes along with the idea that so young, we would have had a big straight men find women more attrac- problem. How were our straight men tive when they have a low hip to waist supposed to be able to tell who was ratio: that is, bigger hips to indicate good old enough for sex? Enter the bighealth and fertility, combined with a ger, rounder breasts; yes, boobs to small waist to indicate fitness and non- the rescue. pregnancy (which means she’s available Along with some other traits, like my for impregnating) equals hotness. So, hourglass figure, my bazooms— even having a nice round ass should be just if they aren’t as big as some, give you a as important and attractive as having big, bright, flashing sign that I am past nice round breasts. puberty and physically ready to have sex This is exactly what zoologist Des- and (one day) make babies. Brin says mond Morris, thought as he watched that this is why I have boobs — so that the girls walk by in short skirts and tight I can have my youthful traits but still tops. Unlike our flat chested primate obviously display my adultness. cousins, we walk around upright all So let’s recap here; we’ve learned the time and one of the most popular that it’s not so weird for straight men to positions we use for sex is the mis- sometimes get so excited about breasts sionary position (man on top), where — that’s how they know that a woman a wonderful female ass can’t be seen is, well, a woman and not a child. They or enjoyed. can also show how healthy she is and It occurred to Morris that the hu- how healthy she has been. We’ve also man breast may have evolved to be heard two different ideas about why bigger and rounder to remind straight breasts are so nice and round: the erotic men of a woman’s ass when she is seen substitute theory and the anti-suffocaface on and, more importantly, to make tion device theory. There surely isn’t them think about the fun fertile hole just one reason why my breasts are they nearby. This makes sense because back way they are; so it’s possible that, even when we had even more in common though these three scientists disagree, with our primate cousins, buttocks all of their theories, in concert, could would have been the main sexual focus have played a part in the evolution of — even more so than they are today. my breasts. So perhaps it is no coincidence that human breasts are rounded like our email@example.com
Angel’s food a tour through hell
Fortunately for our very own Mel’s Diner, the disproportionately large undergraduate community provides the ideal market for amazingly priced deep fried cuisine. Mel’s is renowned in the psyche of the UW student and, as a result, every other greasy spoon in the city will be (whether it is fair or not) held up to its legend. I am sorry to say it, but very few restaurants can actually make “deep fried victuals” look appealing (the image of the Simpsons episode where everything including the flower is breaded and dipped into the fryer comes to mind). Angel’s Diner, on 370 Highland Road (near the LCBO), is either a failed attempt at recapturing the brilliance of Mel’s or a completely lacklustre original idea. As was wisely noted by a friend and loyal patron of Angel’s, imitation of the Mel’s Diner may not be Angel’s ambition, but either way; my friends and I are not impressed. The first thing that strikes you when you get into Angel’s Diner is the flawless resemblance to Mel’s. Angel’s dons similar seats, similar uniforms, a similar menu and, as a result, a similar experience. However, it is much bigger
than Mel’s, there are more staff working and the menu is broader. These failed attempts at comfort, service and variety only retract any hope the restaurant had for coming close to Mel’s homey and familial brilliance while still leaving people wondering “what came first, Angel’s eggs or Mel’s eggs?” Being comparative scholars of breakfast meals all over, we wanted to compare the $3.49 breakfast special with the “Big Mel” (the authority on a good meal at a good price). When we inquired about the meal, the waitress told us what the meal came with and then advised us that, because it didn’t come with coffee, the price of the breakfast special was really the same price as the regular breakfast meal, which came with coffee. We very much appreciated her honesty but were a little bit disgusted at this ploy attempting to bring patrons in (at least I think that was the plan). The other question we asked was how late in the day the disputed breakfast deal went. As it turns out, the advertised breakfast deal is not available all the time. The waitress and person who answered the phone (on further research) were unable to tell if the deal extended past 12 or 2 p.m. My hunch is there is a different time for weekends and weekdays, although getting this information proved difficult, if not impossible. Upon ordering, we also found out that substitutions are rudely frowned upon. Your meal comes with what it comes with and there is absolutely
nothing that the waitress or the cook — to whom she yells unprofessional and, at times vulgar, phrases at — can do about it. I know from experience that servers at Mel’s are encouraged not to allow substitutions. If you ask the server at Mel’s politely, the worst you will get is a polite “no” and you might even end up getting exactly what you want. Since my friend wanted eggs, she ordered the regular breakfast special. It was not a great deal but was better than having to cook it herself. The eggs were well cooked and the toast was plentiful but soggy. The hash browns were nowhere near what Mel’s serves now. Our conclusion: a nice change from Mel’s but if we lived any further away than where we do, there would be no way we would consider eating there. I was still angry about the breakfast ploy — snooty and hotheaded as I am, so I opted for a burger. A good burger, I guess, but nowhere near what you would be able to get at the Chill and Grill for the same price and nothing like any of the burgers at Mel’s. After reading a column like this, I am sure readers are questioning my bias. Whether or not Angel’s should be compared to Mel’s is irrelevant. From the perspective of a UW student, to whom Mel’s is legendary, Angel’s falls decrepitly short and proves not worth the drive. I disappointedly award it 1/5 beers concluding that Mel’s reputation as UW’s unofficial breakfast caterer shall, for now, remain untouched. firstname.lastname@example.org
A good burger, I guess, but nowhere near what you would be able to get at the Chill and Grill for the same price and nothing like any of the burgers at Mel’s.
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FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
Did you know? Squash was such an important part of the Native American diet that they buried it along with the dead to provide them nourishment on their final journey!
summer squash A curvy body with shades ranging from canary yellow to golden camel stacks extra points for the butternut squash in beauty, as well as offering an incredible taste. Mexicans and South Americans have enjoyed this member of the gourd family for thousands of years. Iâ€™ll admit something; normally I wouldnâ€™t pick up one of these interestingly-shaped specimens at the grocery store because they look intimidating to cook. Fortunately, after reading up on many articles which boasted the nutritional value squash contained, my mother was up to the challenge and eager to try a recipe. Allow me to set the scene for you: I came home from work to find my mom glowing as she greeted me at the door. With jubilance and pride she declared, â€œYou must try the soup! I finally made it today!â€? I had an inkling she meant the butternut squash. After all, the week leading up to the actual creation of the soup included virtual field trips by Mom and myself to a variety of gastronomy-related web sites. With an aim to concoct our own recipe, we looked for inspiration, something that would please our palate, and finally simplicity. We did not want a mile-long list of ingredients, and we also steered clear of bland items that mishmashed together. What resulted was homey, warm and inviting. I especially like the coconut milk, which lends a silky smooth texture and creamy taste to the soup. The spices add flair, flavour and a vibrant sunshine colour. email@example.com
Zucchini: a narrow, cucumber-like vegetable. Both share similar shades and size. Zucchini has a smooth, thin skin that is either green or yellow and can be striped or speckled. The creamy white flesh is tender and houses many seeds. The stems are edible flowers and are frequently used in French and Italian cooking.
Crookneck and straightneck squash: have creamy white flesh with yellow and, on occasion, green skin. Crookneck squash is partially straight with a curved neck. Straightneck has a straight body. Pattypan squash: a small saucer-shaped squash with pale green or golden yellow skin. Its cream-colored flesh is dense and slightly sweeter than that of zucchini.
Winter squash have hard, thick skins and seeds. The tough exterior protects the flesh and allows it to be stored longer than summer squash (it doesnâ€™t require refrigeration and can be stored in a cool dry place for about one to six months). Winter squash have risen to the top of the ranks with its endless array of nutrient sources. Its varieties are an excellent source of vitamin A, vitamin C, potassium, dietary fibre and manganese. In addition, winter squash emerges as a good source of folate, omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin B1, copper, vitamin B6, niacin (vitamin B3) and pantothenic acid.
Acorn squash: The interior is a pale yellow-orange flesh, whose taste boasts a unique flavour combination that is sweet, nutty and peppery. The harvest green skin is splashed with orange patches. Pumpkins: A champion for the Halloween festivities, the pumpkin has the most flesh amongst its winter squash peers. Its sweet taste and frequent use in baking, has led squash to be referred to as â€œsugarâ€? or â€œpieâ€? pumpkin.
Hubbard squash: Less sweet than the other varieties, Hubbard is a larger-sized squash that can be dark green, grey-blue or orange-red in color. Turban squash: The orange-yellow flesh is reminiscent in taste to hazelnuts. This winter squash has a green exterior and is either speckled or striped. Butternut squash: Shaped like a large pear, this squash has cream-colored skin, deep orange-coloured flesh and a sweet flavour.
Characteristics of summer squash include thin, edible skins and soft seeds. Due to its perishable nature, summer squash should be stored in the fridge, tightly wrapped in plastic and should be used within 5 days. Summer squash is an excellent source of manganese and vitamin C and a very good source of magnesium, vitamin A, fibre, potassium, folate, copper, riboflavin and phosphorus.
Golden squash soup 1 medium-sized butternut squash, peeled and cut into about 1/2 inch pieces 1 large onion, chopped 3 medium cloves garlic, chopped 1 tbsp chopped fresh ginger 1 tsp turmeric 1 tsp curry powder 2 3/4 cup + 1 tbsp low sodium chicken or vegetable broth 6 oz canned coconut milk 2 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro Salt and white pepper to taste (black pepper is fine if you donâ€™t have white) 1. Peel squash and cut into pieces 2. Heat 1 tbsp of broth in medium soup pot. SautĂŠ onion in broth over medium heat for about five minutes, stirring frequently until translucent. Add garlic, ginger, and continue to sautĂŠ for another minute. Add turmeric, curry powder, and mix well. Add squash and broth, and mix. Bring to a boil on high heat. Once it comes to a boil, educe heat to medium low and simmer uncovered until squash is tender (about 10 minutes). 3. Place in a blender and blend with coconut milk. Make sure you blend in batches filling the blender half full. Start on low speed, so that hot soup does not erupt and burn you! Blend until smooth, about one minute. Thin the broth if needed with more coconut milk. 4. Serve piping hot garnished with fresh cilantro and season to taste with salt and white pepper.
Politics: bible not welcome if misused On television, Noboa was even more frantic and incomprehensible than before. The results In the last few days things began to heat up. couldnâ€™t be true, he asserted, and he had the facts Would Noboa win and transform the country to prove it. Citing a poll from four days before into his personal business empire or would Cor- the election he claimed that he had won. When the interviewer pointed out that there rea convince Ecuadorian to give credence to his new political path? With only a few days left the were four days between the poll and the election polls had Correa and Noboa running neck and he blurted back, â€œWhat could have possibly happened in four days?â€? Apparently Noboa neck. Either of the two had the possibility of hasnâ€™t studied politics. winning. High voter volatility Voting day this time and undecided voters was quite different from Voters leisurely mean that only the polls my past experience. In the first round I was in a walked to the polls, took done a day before an election have any real big city, this time I found significance. myself in a town of their time voting, and The Correa victory around 500 people. didnâ€™t seem too stressed put several of the CaVoters leisurely nadians that I was with walked to the polls, took about the in a new and interesting their time voting, and situation. Progressive didnâ€™t seem too stressed whole thing. voters in Canada usually about the whole thing. I have the choice of voting didnâ€™t see much evidence of election excitement until I took a bus into a Green or NDP, which they know will lose, or vote Liberal and hope for the best. Very rarely bigger town a few hours later. As I got into town I saw the first evidence do these voters get more than a strong showing of an election victory. People in pick-up trucks in opposition at best. The chance to actually with bright green Correa flags were racing down celebrate a victory was refreshing, despite how the street yelling in victory. Gathering outside a Iâ€™d tried to remain as detached from the process television set up on the side of the street I saw the as I could. In the end the Correa victory was less substanresults of the first exit polls: Correa 78 per cent Noboa 22 per cent! The Correa supporters were tial than the exit polls predicted: 56 per cent to ecstatic! Across the street at the Noboa office a 44 per cent. Most telling was his strong victory lone man sat by himself, looking as if his whole in two provinces where Noboa has ruthlessly treated workers on his banana plantations. Despite world had collapsed around him. One man on the side of the street told me how Correaâ€™s victory he still faced the formidable task Noboa had blown it in the last week. Noboa often of convincing congress to relinquish their power plays up the Christian message in his appearances, and approve the constituent assembly. Would he but apparently he had gone to far. This man was be able to muster support for change, or fail and offended by Noboaâ€™s excessive use of the Bible, bow to the political mercy of congress? Ecuadorâ€™s the fact that he used the Lordâ€™s name in vain, and search for answers began when he stepped into his outlandish claim to be â€œthe Christ.â€? This man office on January 15. told me about his decision to vote against Noboa, â€” Matthew Piggot â€œAfter all, we are a Catholic country.â€? Continued from page 11
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FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
UW Graphics, 19680927
In last week’s issue, as part of the photography retrospective of UW, we featured this picture of a burnt-down building and asked you, readers, to provide the historical background.
UW Graphics, Maurice Green, 19790619
The building that is depicted in the January 19 issue of Imprint is the Brubacher House. It burnt down in 1968, but was refurbished by Conrad Grebel University College. My favourite (and only) memory of the Brubacher house was attending a prayer service in its basement. It was a cold winter’s night and we lit a fire in the fireplace. We prayed and sang songs to the glow of the fire — it was really nice. — David Schulz
Meghan Withers staff reporter
Located on the University of Waterloo’s North Campus, next door to the Columbia Ice Fields, the Brubacher House is often an object of interest and speculation among UW students who are out on CIF “nature walks.” But how many people on campus know the story behind this beautifully preserved landmark that overlooks the Columbia playing fields? The Brubacher House is a Mennonite farm house, built in 1850 from granite field stone, in a style typical of Pennsylvania German architecture. The original owners, John E. Brubacher and his wife Magdalena, farmed the land surrounding the House and raised their 14 children. Farming continued on the land until 1968, when the University of
Brubacher House Waterloo purchased the property. UW had proposed to preserve and restore one of the original farm homes on the campus in recognition of the Pennsylvania German culture and as a reminder that the total 1,000 acres of the University campus was once owned by Mennonites and devoted to agriculture. The house’s interior suffered serious damage in 1968 from a fire sparked by a lawn mower engine in the basement; however, the home was fully restored by 1975, thanks to generous financial support from the University of Waterloo, Conrad Grebel University College, the Ontario Heritage Foundation and the Waterloo Regional Heritage Foundation. A designated Heritage Home, the Brubacher House now serves
as a museum for Pennsylvania German cultural heritage in Waterloo County, and offers insight into the pioneer life of Upper Canada and the simple, yet creative, Mennonite lifestyle. Tours of the Brubacher House are available predominately from May 1 to October 31, but also by appointment throughout the rest of the year. The next time you’re out enjoying the wonderfully refreshing outdoors near CIF, you can impress your friends with some knowledge about one of UW’s four museums. Or at least stop speculating as to why there is an old house in the middle of nowhere. firstname.lastname@example.org
UW Graphics, Maurice Green, 19700601
Friday, January 26, 2007
email@example.com Arts Editor: Ashley Csanady Arts Assistant: Andrew Abela
A double-shot of Princess Rachel McNeil
This week’s assignment ─ to research the history of the Princess and Princess Twin Cinemas ─ proved a far more difficult task than one might originally imagine: an article that would disrupt the very balance of my psyche and threaten my already teetering mental stability. But why, you might ask, would a simple writing assignment ever cause me so much distress? The simple answer is that, after working part-time at similar establishments, I’ve found my tastes in customer service have grown rather refined and, frankly, I’m often over-judgmental. Thus, the people at Princess would have to go to great lengths to prove their worth to me. Now, obviously, I could easily have dumped my duties off onto another, less-biased Imprinter. Yet, my instincts told me that passing the torch to some random, indie-movie fanatic might only increase the Princesses’ popularity without giving them a fair trial. In short, I’d have to suffer through this one solo. After attempting to contact owner John Tutt and getting shafted over the phone worse than K. Fed, I decided to head down to the theatre for a real intimidating interrogation ─ and on a Tuesday night, too ─ to show them I meant business. Unfortunately, the Original Princess looked quite hectic, so I took a quick detour to the Princess Twin, conveniently located straight across King Street. My saucy demand for a manager was met quickly by the cheerful face of one Jon Johnson; the Princess Twin’s projectionist and a man whose connection to my own self ─ the friend of a sister who’s part of the scene ─ would soon be revealed. As well, I later recalled the rhyme that belongs to Jon Johnson: “A man so nice they named him twice.” And trust me, ladies, every word of it’s true. Immediately, I set to work in an attempt to demolish the business or, at least, the spirits of these non-uniform-wearing hooligans; discovering from Johnson the secret to keeping the Princess open for 21 years and the Princess Twin for two. “The Original is more straight-up arty,” Johnson says of the film content, adding that “basically what the Twin gets are the high-quality mainstream shows.” The Princesses pride themselves on offering a more cultured selection of current films: something that doesn’t gear so much towards the 16year-old mind that is so enticed with “bright, shiny, loud things” as theatres like Galaxy do. Yet I’m still not entirely convinced that just showing “arty” films is sufficient enough: how do they know that anyone will come? Evidently, the cinemas have been privileged through the years with a solid base of
FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
regular customers. Even now, Johnson describes how both scene kids and seniors dominate the theatres, adding how “[they] tend to show a lot of stuff with Judi Dench.” Tutt, who was later contacted through e-mail (once again, reminiscent of Britney’s cold shoulder: and I’m still sour over that!), commented on the theatre’s “arty” feel and claims that it’s all natural: “In fact for years we used to hang the art in the cinema itself [on] huge canvasses. In the early days we could play anything and get audiences. VHS was still new, no specialty channels, no DVD.” A personal interest in film, as well as his need for a job, led Tutt to Princess Street and the “arty” business of the same name that has continued to create buzz throughout the tri-cities since its initial opening in 1985. Evidently, all Tutt needed was a couple thousand dollars, two 16mm projectors and some seats from a theatre in Galt that was fading out before his own theatre began booming with business. He reminisces on how “[they] would play Peter Sellers Monday Series, Orson Welles retrospectives, Classic Gangster Series, New German Cinema and Late Night festivals every Friday and Saturday.” Though the first month was slow, according to Tutt “the audiences came in droves” after that: “We offered and continue to offer an alternative that no other cinema in the area offers.” And while all audience members may not initially recognize some of the films that stop through the theatres, Johnson particularly appreciates the award-show season which tends to result in more clients at their cinemas: “Oscar season is really good for us,” he said, “because people actually know the movies that we’re playing.” And to that charge I’ve certainly been proven guilty. I’m sorry, but The Last King of Scotland still does not ring a bell. Soon after, my intended attack upon Johnson mellowed to a lively conversation on ’zines and, most basically, the “scene,” both topics which actually relate quite smoothly to my initial assignment. As Johnson points out, “[the theatres] fit in with uptown: [they] definitely add to the culture and experience because [they] are showing things that are geared towards the arty types,” who tend to dominate said area. They’ve even recently attached a café onto the Twin to give off more of a European, art-house vibe and provide a hang-out area for uptown patrons. And, really, who can say no to dinner and a movie? Thus, with this and Johnson’s jolly-good manner in mind, my formerly foul expectations turned to a deeper respect for establishment. At the very least, they’re encouraging a more refined look at theatre-going, which is something to put on your shiny shoes for: if the Princesses are serving up culture, I’ll gladly take a double. firstname.lastname@example.org
Once again, it’s time to roll out the red carpet Let’s be honest here: the Oscars are not always about rewarding the best in cinema. But even when the awards are preposterously biased to follow an agenda, we love to watch them anyway. So here’s a look at some of this year’s biggest films — at least according to the voters at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
as prime minister, has been acting as the secret handshake of critics all year. Even Roger Ebert — the only film critic who really matters — made an effort to review it despite actively recovering from cancer — and gave it a rave review. Not many people in the U.S. saw this film, but the fact that it was nominated for big awards suggests that a large group of the voters have an interest in rewarding it. Best actress will almost certainly go to Helen Mirren, and it might pick up screenplay too.
Dreamgirls Nominations: 8
The Departed Nominations: 5
Kirill Levin staff reporter
Continuing the trend of musicals receiving significant critical attention in past years, Dreamgirls is essentially a fictional take on the career of the Supremes. Adapted from Broadway and featuring an all-star black cast, it has had quite a showing in the Golden Globes. Despite having the largest number of nominations this year, Dreamgirls was actually snubbed. Hard. Three of the eight nominations are for best original song — so they got that one in the bag — but the most prominent categories it is competing in are best supporting actor and best supporting actress. The competition in those two categories is too intense so it’s unlikely the film will pick up either.
A remake of the 2002 Hong Kong super hit, Infernal Affairs, this film is an elaborate game between Boston cops and Jack Nicholson. Their respective moles, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon, try to catch each other, while really driving at the idea that there is little difference between cops and robbers. Could this be the film that finally wins Scorsese the Oscar? It’s unlikely, but he did get the Golden Globe last week. More likely, Scorsese will have to wait for a lifetime achievement award like Robert Altman. Hopefully he won’t die that same year though. If that is the case, the Academy will no doubt compensate for it with a best picture award.
Babel Nominations: 7
Blood Diamond Nominations: 5
A story of biblical proportions, Babel takes viewers on a journey across three continents, utilizing seven languages to emphasize its theme of communication. The story itself is too complex to do justice in a small paragraph, so just read the review in last week’s issue of Imprint. Rinko Kikuchi delivered the performance ofv a lifetime as the deaf-mute Chieko. Heads will roll if she doesn’t win the Oscar. If hell freezes over and Scorsese gets best director, Babel is practically guaranteed best picture to make up for it. On the other hand, Iñárritu has a strong chance of getting best director.
Starring Steve Carell, from NBC’s The Office, this black comedy about a family of misfits taking their not-so-pageant-worthy daughter to a beauty competition had a surpisingly effective troupe of characters. The actors nominated for supporting male and female were the grandpa and little girl respectively. They won’t win, mind you, but just the recognition is probably enough. It’s at least in the running for best original screenplay. Little Miss Sunshine had one of the most well-written families to ever grace the screen. As any screenwriter will tell you, it’s hard to write families. The script managed to tackle suicide, body image and opiate abuse while still being a comedy. Once again, though, the competition is steep. I don’t expect this one to win anything, but you should watch it anyways.
Clint Eastwood made two movies about Iwo Jima last year, one from the American point of view and one focusing on the Japanese perspective. This is the latter, and the critics seem to love it. The number of typical viewers that have seen it is likely very small due to the prohibitively small release. Apparently it’s a good film, but you probably won’t get to see it until it comes out on DVD. So is the Academy going to shower Eastwood with more Oscars? It seems unlikely, if only because he already won best director twice. Since the film is mostly in Japanese, it won’t win best picture either. email@example.com
Sorry, but unlike previous speculation, this week’s Á Mon Avis will not include a riveting and quintessential review comparison of the critically acclaimed historical literary horror piece, Süskind’s Perfume, and its recently released film version. The overpowering perfume scent of this epic novel adaptation is nowhere to be smelled; for it is not yet playing in any theatres near yours truly! Its limited release has left me hungry for the olfactory experience of rotting flesh at the hands of the curiously autistic and amphibious protagonist Grenouille, a particularly gifted perfumist with an exceptional sense of scent (fathom the capacity of 100 dog noses in a single human nostril).
Little Miss Sunshine Nominations: 4
Letters from Iwo Jima Nominations: 4
The Queen Nominations: 6
Unfortunately, however, Grenouille soon loses control over his compulsion to gather human scents and his obsession over the perfect perfume: an amalgamation of the sweet scent of all premenstrual virgins in the land. Though, luckily for him, he commits these heinous collective acts in seventeenth century France without much effective legal control. Premiered this past year, Perfume: The Story of a Murderer has been enjoyed by 25 other countries globally. But even with a theatrical limited release after Christmas, Perfume has yet to be seen by the K-W region and even most of Canada still. If I wanted to see it, I’d have to travel all the way to the Varsity theatre in Toronto, the only theatre playing it within Ontario. That’s over a three-hour trip for less than three hours of film viewing: an unfair trade off, if you were to ask me. Despite its September 7 release last year in Germany, it has still not spread its wondrous seed across the land for the masses to appreciate this ethereally disturbing tale. Perhaps the nature of the topic of this film has prevented it from a widespread release.
Leonardo DiCaprio invented a whole new type of South African (actually “Rhodesian”) accent for this role, and is being rewarded with a best actor nomination for it. The Academy owes him for The Aviator but he has to compete with some incredible performances, so the statuette is not very likely. Djimon Hounsou, on the other hand, will have some gold for his diamonds by the end of the night.
This fictional story — which may as well have happened — set in war-torn Sierra Leone is probably as scathing as Hollywood will ever get towards the diamond industry. Striking a perfect balance between action and preaching, the movie revolves around a fisherman trying to recover his son from the local warlord with the help of a white arms dealer in exchange for a huge, pink diamond.
This biopic of the woman on our coins, released after the death of Princess Diana, and Tony Blair’s victory
Limited release, limited pleasure
CAREERS IN INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY Are people really still taken aback by murderous deeds involved in the bottling of human scent? Is society still so conservative that it cannot provide an ill-conceived visual depiction of senseless slaughtering of female virgins — even if it is at the hands of a criminal so evidently psychotic? I suppose it is fair to say that the content of this film would not be suited for those under the age of 18, but when has this stopped us in the past from mass release of a film? I will spare you the exhaustive list, for I’m sure your own hemispheres have conjured enough. Although this film lover patiently awaited this adaptation’s release since enjoying the book, Perfume, Kubrick had preconceptions about the film which were not so positive. He has made the claim that this novel is actually unfilmable, an assertion obviously dispelled by Tom Tykwer’s adaptation. Although I’m a Kubrick fan myself, I can’t help but wonder if his statement might reflect a change in his ability as a film director. Could a director of his stature harbour feelings of inadequacy and be reduced to lowly projections of failure on an “inconceivable adaptation” of a little piece of fiction? As a great piece of literature, Perfume has also
left remnants of its odor in the music industry. This is mostly evident in Nirvana’s “Scentless Apprentice” which is, in its entirety, about Grenouille. Cobain even claimed that Perfume was his favourite book. Other notable music said to be based on Perfume include the single “Du riechst so gut” by the German industrial rock band Rammstein. Even the song “Herr Spiegelmann” from the Portugese gothic-doom metal band Moonspell contains a complete excerpt from the book. Whatever the cause may be, either the nature of the subject matter or Kubrick’s previous upturn of the nose, Perfume has still not expanded upon its limited release. About every week, Perfume is released in a new country across the globe until March 10, 2007 in Japan — although Cobain is still reportedly rolling around in his grave. Sadly, for reasons unknown, Canada is not even included on this list. Perhaps this is further evidence of the U.S.’s tendency to marginalize Canada; in any case, maybe Canada will not feel Perfume’s full presence until its DVD release. I, on the other hand, will be gleefully seeing Perfume this weekend as I visit my home in Toronto. firstname.lastname@example.org
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Information session, iPod raffle, and free food: February 6th at The Tatham Center 7:30pm—9:30pm RSVP: http://www.cecs.uwaterloo.ca/students/sessions.php On campus interviews: February 14th, 15th, and 16th Sign up today on Jobmine Bloomberg is a proud Equal Opportunity Employer. ©2007 Bloomberg L.P. All rights reserved. 22344570 0107
18 Self Against City Telling Secrets to Strangers
Fergie The Dutchess
Remember how in Toy Story Buzz Lightyear actually thought he was a Space Ranger from Star Command? Well, it’s a great running theme to which we can draw parallels to Self Against City’s new record. Telling Secrets to Strangers is the first LP from this group and comes to us from Drive-Thru records, a label whose logo on an album has come to mean the same thing as a hooker with cold sores — stay away. Now honestly, I secretly long for my negative assumptions about music to be proven wrong, and so I slid this disc into the player and hoped for the best. Instead, I was punished for my wishful thinking with clichéd and formulaic emotional pop rock with lyrics that look like they came straight out of a 16-year-old girl’s diary. My problem with this disc isn’t that it’s painfully bad: it’s painfully mediocre, and basks in its own unoriginality throughout its entire duration. Even just one song in 5/4 time with bagpipes, an accordion and three wood blocks would make it memorable, but instead Self Against City offer up a record that comes off like a sloppy Paint-ByNumbers. Thankfully for you, I struggled through this album the way this band must have struggled through Grade 9 English, so you won’t have to. The fact that these guys are signed and selling records to someone, somewhere, means that like the toys in Andy’s room were fooled by Buzz’s flashing lights and real voice-action commands, there are high school girls being fooled by pretty haircuts, tight jeans and the Auto-Tune feature into thinking this album is on par with superior discs from Cartel or even Hit the Lights.
Did I do something to personally hurt you, Fergie? In another life I must have kicked your dog or otherwise stolen your innocence in a way that has made you misanthropic enough towards people who actually like music to release a side project. The Dutchess, is a solo effort by Black Eyed Peas’ one female member, Stacey “Fergie” Ferguson. Produced by will.i.am, it exhibits a continuing self-destruction of the record industry by executives more interested in garnering profits than producing halfway decent music. This is evidenced most clearly in the two singles that have been thus far released in support for the album, the dreadful “London Bridge” and “Fergalicious,” the latter of which, according to www.blackeyedpeas.com, “has set a new record this week, selling 295,000 digital copies, giving it the throne of #1 on Billboard’s Pop 100 chart.” Yikes. As I generally like to give things the benefit of the doubt before wholly condemning them, I kept waiting for things to get better, which turned out to be a waste of time. The songs, mastered with the intention of having an urban flair, are instead hollow and repetitive. It is not for lack of talent on Fergie’s part. Despite having only a minor role as singer and “eye candy” in the Black Eyed Peas, she does have a powerful and distinctive voice, which in this case is never allowed to reach its potential. The album will conceivably have some success in stores and clubs, as many songs feature heavy beats, but the album is not nearly what it could have been given Fergie’s vocal talent and raining.
ABSTRACT_Vynil_imprint.qxd 9/27/06 6:16 PM — Andrew King
Page 1 — Sean C. Kinsella
on weekends i wear vinyl.
all request alternative thursdays with dj obi
big al’s retro fridays
new rock alternative saturdays no cover for the ladies
open thurs. - sat. 9pm - 2am 667 king street w kitchener 571-9032 open wed.-sat. 9pm-2am
667 king street w kitchener 571-9032
FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
Love Letters to the South: Messages of Hope and Healing from the World’s Best-Loved Celebrities Naked Ink Press
The Time Traveler’s Wife Audrey Niffenegger Harvest Books
Some books defy almost all categories. This is definitely one of those. It is a book of hope, dreams, encouragement and support, for those who lost so much in Hurricane Katrina. This book is the brainchild of Naomi Strasser who, along with photographer friend Paul Alexander, decided to create art that would help the healing in some small way. Alexander donated his time in photographing celebrities from around the world and from different strata of society. Many others contributed to the work, from the stylists working with the celebrities to Ryan Priest doing the design and layout. This book was the work of the generosity of many, many people who all championed it and gave of their time and talents to make it happen. The book is a collection of 71 unique portraits of celebrities, like Johnny Depp, Kelly Hu and Coldplay to Viggo Mortensen, Helen Bonham Carter. Accompanying each portrait is a letter. And it is for those who are far from home now, that the victims should keep hoping and dreaming of their return. Interspersed with photos of the actual devastation from Katrina, these notes provide hope and support. From Johnny Depp who writes “Help and Keep Helping,” to Helen Bonham Carter, stating that “No amount of rain can drown the music of New Orleans,” the words will challenge us to appreciate what we have and to help those in less fortunate situations than we find ourselves to be. The publisher, Naked Ink Press, is doing their part as well; they have committed to give at least $25,000 U.S. to both the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund and to Habitat for Humanity’s Operation Home Delivery. That is $2.50 from each book, sold for a minimum of $25,000 each more depending on sales. That is just a minimum; more could be obtained pending more sales or donations. Shawn Ashmore states: “She beat you, but she didn’t break you!! Stay strong!!” Picking up this book, either for yourself or for others as a gift, will help make those words come true. So along with Kevin Bacon we will say, “Thinking of U.” This is a book that can sit on your coffee table or ‘stack of two fours’ and will be picked up by you and friends again and again. The photos are beautiful artwork and the sentiments from the celebrities are encouraging and motivating, not only to the South but also to you. It may be trite, but giving this book as a gift will be a gift that keeps on giving. So this book is definitely a love it, even though it was hard to review and defied traditional categories.
Although it has been months since I read the novel, the bitter aftertaste remains. A lengthy romance about the downfalls of functioning with the ability to time travel, Niffenegger’s first novel is a sticky collage that leaves the reader sullen after 529 pages of cut and paste. In an attempt to appeal to both genders in the audience, a male character, Henry, and his wife, Clare, take turns narrating the novel. This is no doubt creative, but reciprocal narration fails to create a complementary, harmonious switch between Clare and Henry’s accounts. The switch does allow the audience to undertake Henry’s time-traveling experiences in his company. But its weakness lies in Clare’s lack of interest in the content of her husband’s journeys, placing an inevitable gap between the readers and Clare. The readers sympathize with Henry; Clare is clueless to the context of his suffering, thus her relationship with Henry is based on an instinct of love, while the readers are attached because of their history with him. Surprisingly, the connection between the reader and Henry feels more mutual than that of the married couple. This brings us to the bothersome issue of Henry and Clare’s relationship. Near the end of the novel in particular, the relationship feels more like habit than love. At a mature point in their marriage, Clare admits that she doesn’t miss Henry when he disappears on his time travels, but she’s always happy when he returns. This type of distant relationship produces a prototype for their life together, leading from Clare’s childhood encounters with Henry in a nearby meadow all the way to her elderly days. Seeing how their relationship is the basis for the story, such a hollow bond between two people makes for an unsatisfying core of a novel. The significant aspect of the story is that Henry’s ability to travel in time is uncontrollable, a fresh and unexplored concept. But uncontrollable time-traveling has been a neglected topic in literature for a reason — it is foreign to humanity, in a way that makes it difficult to relate to. Niffenegger’s attempt to deviously fulfill the general public’s wish to time travel collapses from under itself, failing to possess any emotional value. Readers are not discouraged by a faulty superpower, a one in a million pity case. This is why Niffenegger’s implied “careful what you wish for” message does not reach the reader’s heart, bouncing right off the skin instead. A promising story at first, the book is far too isolated and disjointed to enjoy. It means well, but fails to satisfy a healthy literary appetite.
— Steven R. McEvoy
— Anya Lomako
FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
Storming through the Starlight stage Jen Militia fights genres with its style-bending sound David Halk reporter
I awoke last Sunday afternoon and as with most Sundays, I began my day by carefully examining myself in the mirror for scars, phone numbers, and stains. Unlike most Sundays, an emotion of joy was threaded throughout my body, paralyzing a hangover and releasing my thoughts to wade freely into images of peace. The night before had been momentous. It was the CD release for the rock group Jen Militia at the Starlight Lounge. Never before has a local band galvanized and guided such a diverse population of music fans through a beaming landscape of punk, rock, metal, rap, funk and good times. Michael Dainjah (vocals), Kyle Nova (bass), Holla (Vocals), Christion (drums), J. Double (guitar), and GP Soundbaum (noize and synth) ascended the stage after rock bands Frantic City and The Droops. The members combined as Jen Militia and lit a fuse that seared holes of energy through the roof of the venue. “That’s how we like it, we like it crazy,” said singer Dainjah, commenting on a rambunctious night of crowd surfing “militants.” “It’s great to see people who normally don’t hang out with each other come to our shows and have a good time,” he added, “There are a lot of things in life, especially in music, that divide people.” The beats, screams, melodies and rhymes that illuminated uptown Waterloo were testaments against the industry-prevalent polarization of musical tastes and branding. Dainjah explained “A lot of teens grow up hearing, ‘if you listen to this music, you have to dress this way.’” There are a lot of pressures on teens that age. What we do with our music is about freedom, and saying ‘Look, you can choose what you want to do.’ The idea of the band is to inspire people to be free. These teens are just trying to find something that’s real.” Jen Militia offer a genre-transcending solution to musical casting. They, simply put, play everything. With two vocalists encompassing the entire spectrum of the human voice, professional musicians skilled in every groove
Michael Dainjah, the front man for Jen Militia, rocks out to an enthusiastic crowd at the Starlight Lounge. and prolific lyrics attesting unity, they are a much-needed break from egos, apathy and twisted morals. “Who cares if you’re good at music, if you’re not a good person it doesn’t matter,” remarked Dainjah. “You’ve got to have a strong sense of who you are, or you’ll get blown away in the wind.” The inauguration for their new CD was two years in the making. Dainjah explains that the actual recording process took about three weeks in total, but it was their mission to clearly identify themselves that delayed their release.
“If you want to say something worth saying, you have to take the time to figure out what’s in your head and your heart.” What Jen Militia have to say is clear: be free, be caring, unite and, most importantly have fun. The band has remained strong while promoting this message, defining knowledge as the essential skill to remaining happy and subsistent while confronting inequitable foes. “You can work with people who are slimy, as long as you know that they are slimy, and tell them when something isn’t all right.” Jen Militia are traveling to the East Coast
F RIDAY NIGHTS
in the upcoming weeks and afterwards as Dainjah said “the militants are going to keep marching.” The band had six radio stations spinning their single, “Not a Test,” within four days of its release. They continue to be independent despite offers from managers, agents, publicists and labels. The near future will see them touring the U.S. to spread their message of compassion and harmony. Jen Militia’s new album Berlin Boot Camp is now available internationally. Visit www. myspace.com/jenmilitia for more details.
FRIDAY NIGHTS @ KW|AG Friday, February 9 | 8 p.m. – Midnight | 19+
15 in advance 20 at the door $
Call 519.579.5860 or reserve online:
>>> After hours at the Gallery for the
creative and the curious. Mix and mingle in a setting like no other, + art events, music, food and fun. Kitchener-Waterloo Art Gallery located in The Centre In The Square
101 Queen Street North, Kitchener, Ontario, N2H 6P7
FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
Show questions the modern language Cindy Ward staff reporter
Three new exhibitions at Render, UW’s Art Gallery, invite you to “bear witness,” should you decide to cross the tracks and visit the shabby gray building on the other side. The opening web page at the University of Waterloo’s Art Gallery, ‘Render’, quotes Chuck Klosterman’s Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs: “If you define your personality as creative, it only means you understand what is perceived to be creative by the world at large, so you’re really just following a rote creative template. Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all the time.” Audacious, controversial and philosophical all at once, Render begs us to travel in the shoes of another world and wonder. If only, at the very least, to perhaps see a circle in a lighted room and walk around it, for the sake of wondering what the other side of a circle might be. Wouldn’t it shock us to see a triangle instead? It’s beyond our sense of logic. In fact, if we witnessed a triangle, it would be hard not to question the circle. These are only some of the meanderings that Render’s ongoing WITNESS PROJECT hopes to instigate with its current programming. The newest exhibits, which opened on January 18, run until March 2 in Render’s main gallery at East Campus Hall, and feature three provocative installations by three well established Canadian artists. For one, “The Hive Dress (La robe-ruche)” by Héloise Audy and Julie Faubert brings us the story and the voices of the thousands of invisible seamstresses that inhabit our very pockets. The 14-foot dress hangs from the ceiling and is reminiscent of the refuge of our mother’s skirt. It opens as does a beehive, allowing us to physically enter and bear witness to the over 1,000 textile fragments that are so delicately sewn together in creating this dress, as well as the portrait of the many women that have
contributed. Sewn into this delicate weave are thoughts and comments on paper by many of the women. The installation is accompanied by taped voices of the seamstresses taking to themselves, and about themselves, and emanates in a quietly mesmerizing fashion from the gallery walls. Death to Everyone by Chris Down is four large-scale site paintings painted directly on the gallery walls along with four works on paper. Created with the assistance of Paula Jean Cowan over a period of several weeks, Down reflects render’s desire to engage artists who produce works on site.
Perhaps a world we can never understand, even through the most profound of renderings. Some of Down’s work combines iconic imagery with modern technique, leaving the image to be somewhat distorted with an inverseshadow effect. Render’s website notes that “Down draws on such forms as comics animation large format print advertising, found photographs and the “noise” of contemporary media to create his complex work, while incorporating elements of humour, the absurd and the tragic.” Down’s choice of subject matter for this exhibit is a direct response to the name of the Modern Languages building, and begs the viewer to rethink the concepts of what is known as modern languages. Linked by recurring “dark” themes, some of the pieces take on an unexpected twist that compels the viewer to question the eye and our sense of logic. Some of the pieces incorporate a poetic sense of language:
“Goddamn they ruthless,” “Not even in my dreams” and “Fuck it” gave me a tiny glimpse of the artist’s sense of humour. Who am I to say it’s warped — perhaps that’s the point. “Somalia Yellow Vignettes” by Allan Harding MacKay is a combination of video and in situ composition in charcoal and chalk. States Render, “The beautifully crafted vignettes juxtapose high-tech military might and machinery with scenes and moments of everyday life in Somalia.” MacKay’s 29 minute video is compiled of footage that he shot in 1993 during his Canadian Armed Forces Civilian Artists assignment. The video moves through an extraordinary pictorial view of war-ravished Mogadishu, combining artistic and graphic elements that propel the emotions through the hills and valleys of peace, anguish, contentment and disgust — and everything in between. A decade later, “Somalia Yellow Vignettes” remains a timely work as the tragedy of contemporary Somalia was only recently front page news. MacKay has had a long and multifaceted career in the visual arts as a gallery curator/ director and as a professional artist exhibiting widely both nationally and internationally. In 2006 he produced the image timeline for the new Veterans Memorial at Queen’s Park. He is currently a curator at the KitcehenerWaterloo Art Gallery. Andrew Hunter, Director of UW’s Art Gallery, Render, is proud to present these engaging installations as part of the ongoing WITNESS PROJECT which is designed to feature the work of artists who have witnessed conflict and dramatic change. Render is an idea-based gallery working with the challenge of connecting disciplines across campus via dialogue. Perhaps we could talk about what the evolution of the term “art” means to us. Either way, these multisensory exhibits currently showing are designed to engage us and allow us an opportunity to bear witness to the ideas and the lives of everyone involved.
January 26 - 31 Pan’s Labrynth — Original Princess Tickets $6 at Turnkey desk, 9:30 p.m. January 26 - 31 Notes on a Scandal — Princess Twin Tickets $6 at Turnkey desk, 7 and 9 p.m. January 27 Sex and the Second City — Centre in the Square Tickets $19+ in advance, 8 p.m. January 27 Justin Rutledge — Jane Bond Tickets $11 in advance, doors at 8 p.m. January 31 SoMa: social matrices lecture — UW Cambridge campus lecture hall Free, 7 p.m.
The Hive Dress: one of the exhibits currently showing at Render. Render is located in ECH — which Andrew Hunter most appropriately describes as being in “the dull gray building on the other side of the tracks.” Render is open Tuesdays to Saturdays noon until 4 p.m.; 7 p.m. on Thursdays. Previews of this show and upcoming programming can be found on their website at www. artgallery.uwaterloo.ca. Let’s say this world is submersed in death and life
in a war-torn nation. Perhaps it is a lifetime spent at a sewing machine. Perhaps a world we can never understand, even through the most profound of renderings. The ongoing WITNESS PROJECT features the works of artists who have witnessed conflict and dramatic change. email@example.com
February - May 2 Gu Xiong photo murals on display — Modern Languages
Imprint’s reading Jpod Douglas Coupland The Sun Also Rises Ernest Hemingway The Great Shark Hunt Hunter S. Thompson Sideways Rex Pickett 2010: Odyssey 2 Arthur C. Clarke
February 1 RAIN — The Beatles Experience — Centre in the Square Tickets $39.60, 8 p.m. February 2 - 4 Rough House by Andy Massingham — Theatre & Company Tickets $9+ February 3 BA Johnston and Wax Mannequin — Jane Bond Tickets $5 at the door, doors at 8 p.m. February 4 Play With Clay — Clay & Glass Gallery $5 each, 1 to 2:30 and 2:45 to 4 p.m.
FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
Afghanistan can provide opiates for the masses and inspiration for all
The 21st century has already seen many tragedies, dear readers, and one of its greatest is occurring right now in Afghanistan. Here exists a situation characterized by death, dislocation and destruction, with daily life trapped in a cycle of insurgency and retaliation. What can we in the West do to help these poor people? Send in more troops? Perhaps. Build schools and hospitals? Maybe. Pursue chemical self-transcendence for artistic means? Most definitely. With all this talk of suicide bombings and dead Canadian soldiers, it is easy to lose sight of the positive results of the Taliban’s removal from power. We are so quick to forget the dramatic re-emergence of Afghanistan’s economy
due to one invaluable commodity: opium. Indeed, poppy cultivation for the purpose of opium production was greatly reduced during Taliban rule, banned by leader Mullah Omar on religious grounds. Following “liberation” by the Western forces, and due to a lack of any effective policing system, Afghan warlords (or “entrepreneurs”) were free to reclaim their stake in this profitable industry. Since 2001, production of opium has increased from 74 metric tonnes per year to an astounding 6,100 tonnes in 2006. This year the opium trade is expected to pump seven billion dollars into Afghanistan’s struggling economy. Bravo, I say! There is, however, a bit of a problem. Opium’s production in the Central Asian country is technically considered “illegal.” This is largely due to the fact that it isn’t regulated and usually ends up being converted into heroin for sale in Europe and the United States. Afghanistan, the source of a whopping 92 per cent of the world’s opium supply, is thus not only a target of America’s War on Terror but also of its War on Drugs. Recently, a European think tank suggested Afghan farmers be licensed to produce opium
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for the world pharmaceutical market, thus avoiding conversion to heroin and tapping into the considerable market for prescription opiates. A good idea, perhaps, but unlikely due to corruption issues in Afghanistan and strict UN requirements for medicinal exports. Fear not, my friends; I have a much better idea. Sanction the export of pure opium but bypass the whole medicinal aspect. Legalize opium in the West and market it as a cure for modern artistic malaise. Think, dear readers, what powered the Victorian era? Steam, yes, but what else? Opium. It was this magic ambrosia, this sacred manna that launched a golden age of British literature, inspiring such great minds as Oscar Wilde, Alfred Lord Tennyson and Edgar Allen Poe. The great poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge described opium as “a means of escaping from pains that coiled around my mental powers, as a serpent around the body and wings of an eagle.” Thomas de Quincey called the drug “a panacea for all human woes; here was the secret of happiness, about which philosophers had disputed for so many ages, at once discovered.” Opium was once considered a powerful tool which took its users into a dream state,
increasing visionary awareness and allowing them to see with “an artist’s eye.” Disregarding the vomiting, frailty, profound depression, sense of utter darkness, horrifying “opium dreams,” and distorted conceptions of time and space that follows sustained use of the drug, opium is practically a gift from God, utilized by artists to achieve visions akin to those of William Blake and Thomas Aquinas. Truly magnificent stuff. Now, I’ve been lobbying for the inclusion of Thomas de Quincey’s Confessions of an Opium Eater in high school English curricula for a long time, but why not take the campaign a step further? The CIA estimated that one-third of Afghanistan’s Gross Domestic Product is generated by opium export, and so it can’t easily be ignored. Why not nurture this positive growth? Utilize the surplus! Perhaps opium will be able to stop this flow of uninteresting fiction about secret societies and “ancient secrets” and aid in the restoration of literature in the West. Think of the Afghan people, and for God’s sake think of the cultured elite. Do your part. Write to your Member of Parliament today. firstname.lastname@example.org
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Friday, January 26, 2007
What would be a better 50th Anniversary slogan? By Anya Lomako & Mohammad Jangda
“50 years, millions of ideas!” Martin Krall 3A civil engineering
“In the spirit of: Oh my God, I’m so drunk. ” Dulcie Lai & Tina Samuel 4B biomed
1. Avg 4. Triangular ratio 9. Kick out 14. Ancient Tokyo 15. Indian language 16. Country home 17. Nearly killed Luke 19. Location 20. Not cloudy 21. Former Ontario Premier 23. Resident of Kiev (abv.) 24. Home of St. Francis 26. Steamy love affair 28. Gestapo 32. They’re watching me 35. Dreaming of mechanical sheet 36. Pasture 37. Viking race 40. French lake 41. Opera solos 44. Golden anniversary 47. insulation 50. Push off the tracks 51. Pants 55. Rowboat motor 57. Home of Survivor 58. Uniform 59. Bottom pinch 61. Texas animal covered in plates 65. Biblical pariah 66. Massive herbivore 67. Non-human co-inhabitant 68. Student paper 69. Wooly mass 70. Burnt residue
1. Islamic hot spot 2. Golden cows 3. Stadia rooves
“In the spirit of: Why did I?” Adam Gardiner 4B english lit & rhetoric
4B earth sciences & biology
33. Bubbly chocolate bar 34. Keep falling on my head 38. Typo acknowledgement 39. Newts in their terrestrial stage 42. Nail an exam 43. Witchcraft 45. Two Spanish cities 46. Live in Iraq 48. Pick up 49. Confiscate weapons 52. Latin negligence 53. Hardy cabbages 54. Deadly sin 55. Look lustfully 56. The Greek Mars 60. French soup 62. 17th letter of Greek alphabet 63. Stir 64. Celtic mother deity
“Waterloo — celebrating 50 years of mediocrity!” James Saliba 1B english
“Destroying dreams for half a century!” Andrew Falcao
4. Make rougher 5. Sauran’s warrior of choice 6. Use a chair 7. Window to the world 8. Bunny food 9. Penguin species 10. French valley 11. Quieter than a whisper 12. Male chicken 13. Tall and leafy 18. Bangladeshi money 22. Seal sound 25. Visual representation 26. Casablanca ending 27. International Labour Organization 29. Spanish river 30. Keeps you warm outside 31. Make a print 32. School of planning course code
January 19 Solutions
“In the spirit of: Laurier’s campus is too damn small.” Mark Chemij 4A planning
“What is this spirit you speak of?” Monica Pukas & Gord Perolli 1G environment & business & arts
“In the spirit of: It’s been 50 years. Give us a bus pass!” Benny Liang 2B planning
1. Wearing headphones for an hour will increase ear bacteria by 700 times.
3. With a 21-inch tongue, a giraffe can clean its own ear.
5. When angered, the ears of Tazmanian devils turn a pinkish-red.
2. An ear of corn always has an even number of rows because of the genetic formula which divides the cells.
4. Sharks are capable of hearing fish heartbeats, making it easy for them to find meals.
6. 1/3 of the people who can twitch their ears can only twitch one at a time.
sources: 1-3 - HTTP://WWW.DAVESDAILY.COM, 4-5 - http://www.kellys.com/know.html, 6 - http://home.bitworks.co.nz/trivia/human.htm
Friday, January 26, 2007
firstname.lastname@example.org Science Editor: Rob Blom Science Assistant: Yolanie Hettiarachchi
Contention in Nobel laureate appointment Angelo Florendo staff reporter
Anthony J. Leggett became the first Nobel Prize-winning faculty member at the University of Waterloo after he accepted a position at the Institute of Quantum Computing. A winner of the 2003 Nobel Prize in physics, Leggett now assumes the newly created position of Mike and Ophelia Lazaridis Distinguished Research Chair. The five-year agreement will see the UK born researcher spend two months of every spring term on campus, while maintaining contact with the IQC intermittently throughout the year. He joins the University of Waterloo while retaining his position as physics professor at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champagne, which he has held since 1983. As a member of the Board of Scientific Advisors, Leggett is responsible for directing the focus of future research while mentoring new professors and guiding both graduate and undergraduate students with seminars and public lectures. His acceptance comes shortly after his stint last summer as a visiting scholar, where he took part in a series of lectures directed at students and the public alike. Leggett is renowned for his work with low-temperature physics with a focus on superfluidity and superconductivity. His research has also raised some controversy regarding his refutation of some basic conceptual issues in quantum mechanics. After receiving his undergraduate degree from Balliol College, Oxford in an unrelated field, Leggett then completed a second undergraduate program in physics at Merton College. His postdoctoral work took place in the
University of Illinois, where he would eventually share one third of the 2003 Nobel Prize in physics “for pioneering contributions to the theory of superconductors and superfluids.” Leggett is also a member of the National Academy of Sciences, a Fellow for the Royal Society in the UK and was knighted in 2004 by Queen Elizabeth, “for services to physics.” While University of Waterloo physics student Alan Gooding recognizes Leggett’s “impressive set of credentials,” his impact on the student body at large remains ambiguous. “It’s just one Prof. who’s coming in,” said 4B physics undergrad George McBirnie. “I don’t think it’ll really affect us [undergraduates] that much. He has, like, one course on campus.” Leggett’s weak impact on undergraduate students may have been expected due to his research-based involvement with the university, but even students working directly from the IQC feel like his presence won’t bring about much change. When asked about Leggett’s responsibilities within the institute, IQC graduate student Osama Moussa said, “That’s a good question. He’ll probably look over the general direction of research.” Moussa has had the privilege of learning directly from Leggett, participating in one of his summer courses, but while he thought the course was “definitely useful,” he didn’t feel that it directly affected his own work. “I personally don’t work in an area where he has an impact,” said Moussa. Leggett’s specialized area of research will certainly limit his influence on the general student body, but the effect his presence will have on increasing the reputation of the university seems equally limited, Moussa explained. “I
Sir Anthony Leggett will soon join the above at the Institute for Quantum Computing. honestly don’t think it does anything for the reputation for the university, if I’m an outsider looking in.” The sentiments held by graduates and undergraduates alike extend further than the student population. The Associate Dean of Graduate Studies, Wing-Ki Liu, points to Leggett’s short time on campus as a source of complication. “He’s only here for two months in a year and I think he would need to spend at least half a year to
Amnesia not just a thing of the past Faisal Naqib staff reporter
It seems that people suffering from amnesia are not only incapable of recalling past events, but also have trouble imagining future events. Researchers from the Wellcome Trust Centre in London, UK observed a group of five patients suffering from amnesia as they attempted to imagine future events. The researchers found that patients were not able to imagine future events with the same degree of richness of detail and emotion as a control group. This is a part of a growing base of evidence suggesting that memories help people visualize the future. Amnesia can be caused by several events: traumatic brain injury, degeneration, metabolic disorders or psychological disturbances. It also comes in several forms varying in the ability to recall past experiences, ranging from partial to total inability. Several classifications exist: anterograde amnesia results in not being able to store any new memories after the event causing amnesia, retrograde amnesia leaves the patient without the ability to remember memories prior to the event, and sense-specific amnesia alters the ability to remember events related to a sense (such as sight or smell).
The patients enrolled in this study had severe infections that left each with bilateral damage to the hippocampus causing them to develop amnesia. This resulted in severe impairment of anterograde memory and a varying amount of retrograde memory loss, ranging from 10 years to a complete lifetime. All patients maintained full executive function (verbal fluency, perceptual ability, etc).
This is the first time that a scientific study has examined amnesia patients’ ability to imagine future events. The researchers asked the patients (as well as a control group) to describe several future events, such as going to the beach, visiting a museum or a castle and recorded their answers. All participants were asked not to reference past experiences, but to imagine themselves taking part in a new event. Their responses were scored on whether it involved references to
spatial relationships, emotions associated with the event and mention of specific objects. The results of the study, published in the January 17, 2007 issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, showed that four of the patients were worse at describing the future events than the control group. The patient responses were more likely to be disorganized and emotionless. A patient remarked “It’s not very real. It’s just not happening. My imagination isn’t … well, I’m not imagining it.” It seemed the patients were unable to visualize the event in their mind’s eye; they were unable to describe spatial relationships. This is the first time that a scientific study has examined amnesia patients’ ability to imagine future events. It is thought that referencing past memories is important in being able to plan for the future. Scientists believe that the hippocampus takes an important role in imagining the future; the one patient that fared as well as the control group in the imagining task is believed to have suffered less damage to his hippocampus. The researchers at the Wellcome Trust Centre now plan on studying amnesia patients who have a healthy hippocampus. email@example.com
have a real impact,” said Liu. His limited influence raises questions about the university’s motivation for awarding the Nobel laureate faculty status, noted Liu. “It may sound negative, but it seems like it was done more for publicity.” Leggett is one of three Nobel laureates currently holding faculty positions at Canadian universities, the other two being University of British Columbia physics professor
Carl E. Weiman and University of Toronto chemistry professor Charles Polanyi. Leggett will host a public lecture entitled, “Does the Everyday World Really Obey Quantum Mechanics?” on campus at 2 p.m. on Friday, January 26, in the Centre for Environmental Information Technology. firstname.lastname@example.org
Climate change and the year of El Niño
Rebecca McNeil staff reporter
Warmer temperatures and heavy precipitation this winter have not been the figment of an increasingly environmentally-aware society. El Niño, the tropical Pacific fluctuation of the ocean-atmosphere system, has been occurring this winter with global consequences. Its effects include increased rainfall in the southern tier associated with flooding and other natural disasters and drought in the West Pacific, most famously causing Australian brush fires. This abnormal system of warm currents typically occurs every three to five years and last took place in 2002. As of December 2006, scientists were warning that El Niño conditions were already present in the tropical Pacific and could be expected to intensify over the next few months.
Combined with high levels of greenhouse gases, the recurrence of El Niño makes it likely that 2007 will become the world’s hottest year ever recorded, according to British climatologists. They stated a 60 per cent chance that Earth’s average surface temperature will equal or surpass the current record held in 1998. Not only does the research produced by this group of scientists confirm El Niño activity, it also “represents another warning that climate change is happening around the world,” said Katie Hopkins, a scientist at Britain’s Meteorological Office. Phil Jones, director of the climatic research unit at the University of East Anglia, agreed: “Because of the warming due to greenhouse gases, even a moderate warming event is enough to push the global temperatures over the top.” See 2007, page 25
FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
Stem cells now used for tooth regeneration Basma Anabtawi staff reporter
An international group of researchers has been collaborating on finding potential approaches for tooth regeneration using a variety of different applications. According to a new study published in the Public Library of Science (PLoS ONE) about stem cell-mediated tissue regeneration on December 20, 2006,
a research team from the University of Southern California School of Dentistry, led by Dr. Songtao Shi, successfully regenerated tooth root using stem cells. The findings came at the year’s end, increasing the enthusiasm concerning stem cell research and possible potentials yet to be discovered. The method uses isolations of stem cells from the root apical papilla of human wisdom teeth. Using
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a pig as the model for the implantation as well as periodontal ligament stem cells, the root is regenerated to result in normal tooth functions. The miniature pigs used in the study resulted in successful evidence of validity of the technique. The grown roots are implanted in artificial porcelain crowns and although they do not have the same strength as natural teeth, they have sufficient capabilities to survive daily eating behaviors. The researchers used stem cell extracts collected from wisdom teeth of 18 to 20 year olds in order to test the method and support their predictions in human prospects. The stem cell harvested was acquired from the root apical papilla, which is a collection of tissue attributing for root growth and development. The dental pulp stem cells were previously used as the basis of this method; however further research and experiments by Dr. Shi and the research team proved that the apical papilla stem cells resulted in stronger and more accurate root growth. Natural tooth formation begins at the tooth bud and root growth. This process leads to the dentin
formation and eruption of the tooth from the gums. The sequencing of this process determines the importance of stem cell root generation since a natural or synthetic crown can not function as a biological tooth can without the presence of a healthy root.
Regeneration of teeth is the most beneficial and desirable solution to replace damaged and diseased teeth. The research is currently expanding in finding new resources for the stem cells such as baby teeth extraction to provide a higher chance at successful regeneration. This expansion could allow for stem cell collection from saved baby teeth to ensure more accurate root generation in future years as well as other possible therapeutic tools. Regeneration of teeth is the most beneficial and desirable solution to
replace damaged and diseased teeth. Although dental implantation has been the most recent method to deal with such situations, it is not suitable for everyone. Many patients with weak gums and bone structures are unable to implant new teeth and tend to resort to crowns or dentures. Hence this new development could help in providing more options for such patients, in giving them the option of tooth reconstruction and a chance at having normal healthy teeth once again. The financial funds from the National Natural Science of Foundation of China, The Beijing Major Scientific Program and the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research have allowed for the extensive depth of experimental research. Stem cell-mediate regeneration could provide means to reconstruct biological roots and the periodontal tissue surrounding it, resulting in new healthy in vivo grown teeth. The researchers from the entire collaboration hope for the beginning of clinical trails in the next several years to accredit for the technique as being as safe and efficient as possible. email@example.com
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Yolanie Hettiarachchi assistant science editor
Albino beetles possess purest natural white coating
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UK scientists have found a unique species of beetle in Southeast Asia, the Cyphochilus. Unlike any other beetle encountered, this particular beetle possesses a bright white exoskeleton. The covering is made up of tiny scales that are 10 times thinner (five micrometers) than human hair. According to the lead scientist on the project, Dr. Pete Vukusic of Exeter University, the degree of whiteness the beetle possesses is due to the unusual structure of the scales; the ‘highly ordered’ structures disperse all colours at the same time. Vukusic claims that this intensity of white can be created synthetically, but until now could only be created using thick materials. Now, the discovery of the Cyphochilus beetle has opened a door to a variety of applications. Researchers believe that the whiteness of the beetle is a result of evolution; the white serves as camouflage for the beetle’s white fungi habitat. Inspiration may be drawn from the Cyphochilus to synthesize objects possessing the beetle’s intense white colour. Killer shrimp migrate to Ontario
Lake Ontario’s ecosystem may now be in danger due to ravenous shrimp found by New York scientists. Measuring half an inch, the invasive Hemimysis anomala shrimp, also known as the red mysid, was discovered last spring in a lake near Oswego, east of Rochester, New York. The shrimp has already been documented in Lake Michigan and parts of
Europe. Similar to the possum shrimp that reside in the Great Lakes, the red mysid is thought to have made its journey from the ballast of oceangoing ships into Lake Ontario. The shrimp usually prey on phytoplankton and zooplankton — species which form the foundation of the lake’s food chain — but will also eat whatever is in their vicinity, according to Chuck O’Neill, Jr., a specialist with New York Sea Grant and member of New York State’s Invasive Species Task Force. It is debated whether a new species of fish should be introduced into the ecosystem. This could, however, make the situation take a turn for the worse or for the better. New species in the Great Lakes are discovered at a rate of one every eight months, according to the Great Lakes Environmental Research Laboratory in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Nicotine boost was deliberate, study says
Researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health have revealed that cigarette manufacturers may have recently increased nicotine levels in their cigarettes in an attempt to create a stronger dependence in smokers. Matt Myers of the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids has stated that nicotine levels can be manipulated when parts of the tobacco plant containing high concentrations of the substance are used. The result? An increase of pleasurable puffs per cigarette. Information pertinent to the study include measures of nicotine concentration, the number of puffs yielded by each cigarette, and the design of the filter. U.S. tobacco company Philip Morris has said that the amount of nico-
tine in its Marlboro cigarettes in 1997 and 2006 were identical. The Harvard study did not include data from 2006; however, researchers conducting the study have stated that the chances of an accidental nicotine increase were less than 1 in 1,000. In light of the study, anti-smoking groups have said that the federal government should regulate tobacco similar to the way pharmaceuticals are regulated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Evangelicals and scientists unite
A group of evangelists and scientists in Washington have united with one common goal: to convince the nation’s leaders that global warming is real. The agreement, signed by 28 individuals, stated that changes in values, lifestyles and public policies are necessary in order to prevent damaging changes in climate. Reverend Rich Cizik, public policy director for the National Association of Evangelicals, believes that science can be an ally in helping the evangelicals to prevent the extinguishing of the Creation. Eric Chivian, director of the Centre for Health and the Global Environment at Harvard Medical School, also believes the alliance is not as odd as people may think. The pairing was the result of a retreat, at which both parties agreed that human behaviour and public policy have put the environment at risk. Among the project’s supporters are Edward O. Wilson, a two-time Pulitzer prize-winning scientist and author and James Hansen, a prominent NASA climatologist. — With files from BBCNews, the Examiner and the Boston Globe firstname.lastname@example.org
FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
Ancient ruin discovered in South American forest
Hidden for centuries in the heart of the Andes Mountains are new insights to the Inca and Chachapoya conflict from the nearest city and is accessible only by mud-filled trails. “You can’t stand back and photograph it or fly over Explorers in the Peruvian Andes have it [to photograph it],” said Muscutt at discovered a ruin that may provide the University of California conference some important insights on the cul- where he announced the discovery. ture and history of the long-extinct But the location of the ruin, astribe that created it. suming it was indeed built by the The ruin, a large stone structure Chachapoya, could tell archaeolomeasuring approximately 200 by 100 gists a lot about just how far their feet and rising 24 feet into the air, has civilization managed to expand. a design characteristic of Incan archi- Although Chachapoyan artecture, but bears markings associated chitecture is marked by many with the Chachapoya, an early South citadels built atop mountains, American tribe that was conquered by the location of La Penitenciaría the Incas in the late 15th century. was thought to be the border of This combination of tribal fea- Chachapoyan territory. “What it tures raises an interesting question for is showing is that we don’t really archaeologists — did the Chachapoya know what their territory was,” build the ruin of their own accord, or commented Muscutt. A Columbia in partnership with the Incas? And if State University archaeologist agrees the latter is true, was it a project of with Muscutt: “It is enormous,” he co-operation, or did the Chachapoya commented to the LA Times, “and build the structure after being con- to find it where we find it is really quered, as a slave labour force? strange.” But those are only the start of the Understanding the purpose of the questions surrounding the structure, structure may help alleviate some of which was discovthat mystery. With ered in a very unno armaments or likely place. Three ...did the Chachapoya defensive features, local farmers and the platform and explorers, Octa- build the ruin of their plaza appear to vio, Merlin and have been conown accord, or in Edison Añazco, structed for peacecame across the purposes, such partnership with the ful ruin in August of as ritual ceremo2006 on a plateau nies. “It is clearly Incas? high on the easta civil, ceremoern slope of the nial building,” said Andes. Nicknaming it “Huaca La Muscutt. “There is no evidence of Penitenciaría” (Penitentiary Ruins) warfare at all.” That suggests to some because of its solid façade, they that the platform was used for shared contacted Chachapoyan expert Keith ceremonies between the Chachapoyan Muscutt of the University of Santa and the Inca, explaining why both Cruz, who formed an expedition and cultures are evident in the design. “[It] set out to explore the ruin for himself. might have been a place where they “My goal at this point is to notify the got together to trade or share in a ritual appropriate Peruvian authorities,” he activity,” said Muscutt. commented. Fortunately, Muscutt and other Made of stacked pieces of cut archaeologists have plenty to work stone known as pirca, La Penitenciaría with. The site appears to have been appears to be completely solid save untouched by humans for at least for a few openings that appear to be 400 years, resulting in what Muscutt drain holes. It resembles some sort calls “a very interesting archaeological of large platform overlooking a stone time capsule.” And with the Discovery plaza, about 200 by 300 feet, extend- Channel promising to feature La Peniing outward from the base. tenciaría in their upcoming TV series Additional round and rectangular- Chasing Mummies, it is clear that there shaped ruins on the plaza suggest is still much more to be heard in the that more buildings existed there too. fascinating story of these ruins and the Yet a full examination of the site is civilization that created them. difficult because of the heavy forest overgrowth; the area is two days away email@example.com Adam Gardiner
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2007: May become the hottest year recorded Continued from page 23
Though the current El Niño is considered moderate, it has already been linked to the high level of Australian droughts and bush fires as well as the unseasonably warm winter experienced throughout much of Canada this year, and could potentially last for another one to two months. While El Niño can be held partially responsible for higher temperatures this year, it cannot account for the fact that the world’s 10 warmest years have all been since 1994 out of records dating back to 1850, according to the United National weather agency. Said Jones, “the underlying trend in the warming of the Earth is almost certainly due to the release of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.” A twomonth-old UN report stated that greenhouse gases in the atmosphere had reached record-high levels in
2005, but were expected to increase in 2006, and according to World Meteorological Organization climate specialist Geir Braathen, “There is no sign that [the greenhouse gases] are starting to level off.” The Kyoto Accord, which went into effect in 2005, had over 140 nations committed to reducing greenhouse gas emissions by an average of five per cent below 1990 levels by 2012. The Conservative federal government abandoned their commitment to the Kyoto agreement, with former Environment Minister Rona Ambrose calling it “not realistic.” The Kyoto agreement does not include the world’s biggest contributor to greenhouse gases, the U.S., or rapidly developing countries such as China and India. According to the Environment Canada website, a warmer climate will affect drinking water, specifically in
the Great Lakes basin where “climate models predict changes in annual stream flow and lake levels, with the possibility of more frequent flooding […] current sewage treatment facilities will be unable to cope with increased volumes of storm water and sewage runoff.” There will also be less drinking water available in the Prairies and various affects on agriculture and human health. Canada’s current climatechange strategy, the “Made in Canada Plan,” has been heavily criticized for being vague and putting too much emphasis on individuals without any regulations or effort to reduce industry or business based emissions, meaning temperatures for 2008 could be similar to the warm winter from this year without any naturally-occurring warming to hide behind. firstname.lastname@example.org
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How to trap a virus Nitin Malik reporter
Aethlon Medical thinks it has a way to combat viruses without medication; simply speaking, it’s a filter. The Hemopurifier can connect to a dialysis machine because it’s built like hemodialysis cartridges which are used to externally filter out waste from your blood in the case of kidney failure. The cartridge contains hollow tubes with a pore a few hundred nanometers in size. Being extremely small, viruses can fit through these pores. But an affinity matrix selectively filters out viruses, viral nucleic acids and protein toxins. The Hemopurifier has been proposed as a way to fight drug resistant viruses and bioterrorism. Aethlon’s website reports that “pre-clinical human blood studies have documented the effectiveness of the Hemopurifier Aethlon’s research in capturing HIV (The can remove viruses AIDS Virus), … but it has yet to HCV (Hepatitis-C) and Orthopox viruses related to human Smallpox.” Easy targets for the Hemopurifier are enveloped viruses. These viruses surround themselves in a modified cell membrane taken from the host cell they infect. This helps to protect the virus and trick other host cells into letting it in. This envelope actually makes it easier for the Hemopurifier to filter out these masked viruses because the envelope is made from the host and contains polysaccharide chains that do not vary with the virus inside. Therefore, the affinity matrix can be designed to bind to these specific molecules on the envelope’s surface and hold them so the virus cannot return to the body. Note that this filtration system will only work on viruses that are present in the blood stream. Even HIV has
a period of reduced presence in the circulatory system before causing AIDS and some viruses can just pass directly from cell to cell. The Hemopurifier has been marketed to fight bioterrorism with the possibility of connecting it directly into the bloodstream (with no dialysis machine). The website also gives the example that “should a terrorist group develop a new vaccine resistant strain of smallpox, Aethlon need only find or generate an antibody that reacts with the new virus or toxin.” Aethlon’s research indicates the filter can remove viruses from human blood, and a trial on four patients in India has demonstrated its safety, but it has yet to be approved by the FDA. The drawback of the Hemopurifier is that it can only filter out free floating viruses that have not infected a host. This means it has the potential to prevent the spread of the virus by catching all the virions (individual virus particles) indicates the filter released bethey can from human blood fore attach to othhost cells. be FDA-approved. er For chronic viral diseases, filtration could be seen as a long term treatment possibly in combination with current medications to keep infection low and less harmful. If Aethlon’s is successful in getting their Hemopurifier on the market, expect big things from them. In addition to viruses and proteins, they are also being designed to intake excess cytokines which help your immune system, but too much cytokine activity (called a cytokine storm) can actually be harmful. There has also been a proposal to apply the technology to cancer. Aethlon is in the middle of developing a second generation Hemopurifier that attempts to capture growth factors inherent in the spread of cancer. Aethlon Medical has a vision for the future and it is filtered.
FRIDAY, January 26, 2007
Infection therapy next step to battling cancerous tumours Basma Anabtawi staff reporter
A new way to fight cancerous tumours is launching its trial phase in the near future, according to a British study. A collaboration between the Oxford University and the Cancer Research UK Centre in London has focused on the use of viruses to destroy difficult-to-treat cancerous tumours, which have stopped responding to the universal and general cancer treatments. This new technique infects cancerous cells with a modified common cold virus to destroy them while the healthy cells remain unaffected. The viruses are modified to avoid infection throughout the body. A special coating is applied to divert attention from the immune system soldiers. Cancer cells make excellent living conditions for the viruses since the immune system is suppressed against tumour areas, allowing the viruses to survive, grow and multiply with no harm. The researchers recently destroyed a cancerous tumour with a very small amount of viruses in order to increase efficiency of the method while maintaining the safety of the patient’s treated. The small viruses infect tumour cells and replicate at extremely high speeds, causing the cancerous cells to eventually burst and pass on the infection to bordering neighbours. The first trials will begin early this year to test the viruses’ capacity at destroying cancerous liver cells in humans. The challenge is targeting the virus to invade only the cancerous cells without being injected straight into the tumour. The scientific research team has focused on finding methods to avoid the attacks of the immune system on the viruses in the blood stream before they reach the tumour. The Oxford research team is lead by Prof. Leonard Seymour, who is currently the leading
cancer scientist with a major focus on development of new treatments. Dr. Seymour has been a key player in developing the unique polymer coat surrounding the virus to avoid immune system detection. Previous universal cancer treatments, like chemotherapy and radiotherapy, have always involved surgical procedures or many long hospital visits, with numerous side effects in return. Chemotherapy uses combinations of strong drugs to stop and destroy cancerous cells before they grow, multiply and spread to other parts of the body. A disadvantage of chemotherapy is that the drugs destroy healthy cells as well and lead to severe physical changes such as hair and weight loss. Another treatment, radiotherapy, uses a more targeted type of method. The cancerous cells are exposed to x-rays, gamma rays and electrons in order to destroy their cellular machinery to stop the spread of the tumour. However, healthy cells surrounding the tumour often get affected as well and frequently undergo severe DNA mutations adding to the risk of the tumour. If successful, infection therapy could one day become as common as radiotherapy and chemotherapy to fight cancerous tumours. Unlike current conventional therapies, there are no known side effects. The most limiting factor of infection therapy is the inability to work efficiently when the tumour has spread throughout the body. The difficulty from safe and fast recovery of viral infections throughout most essential organ systems. However, according to Dr. Richard Sullivan, Cancer Research UK’s director of clinical programs, the research team is very hopeful of the method and is anxiously awaiting the trial phase to begin to examine the potentials of the technique. email@example.com
The iPhone is ringing but critics are reluctant to answer the call Monica Harvey staff reporter
courtesy Apple Inc.
The recent unveiling of the iPhone by Apple Inc. in January was met with awe and enthusiasm but with still six months before you can max out your credit card for one, the backlash and criticism has already increased to tsunami-like proportions. The iPhone was introduced at the Macworld conference in San Francisco by Steve Jobs as “a new iPod, a phone and an internet communicator. These are not three separate devices — we call it the iPhone.” While the frustrating days of wishing your iPod could make calls are numbered, there have been several concerns regarding the adaptability and accessibility of the device. The iPhone is run on an ‘editor’s cut’ of the Apple’s Mac OS X operating system. This means two things: the programming software is better written and easy to use, and compatible applications are very limited. So you won’t be able to play any games on the iPhone until Apple releases them. There have also been cries of betrayal and disappointment over the cost of the iPhone. Steve Jobs announced that the iPhone will cost between $500 and $600 USD which is a huge mark up considering that the estimated cost of the iPhone by tech analysts is $280. As the iPhone is entering a very competitive market where similar devices are sold for $100-$200, this may become a huge problem. Another common criticism is that the iPhone can only be used with a two-year contract with the Cingular network. This is an inconvenience to people who are already happy and committed to another network for their cell phone service. Plus, the Cingular network has been known to have limited coverage. People who live and make most of their calls outside the coverage of Cingular will have their iPhone service cut off. However, there are still many advantages that have made the iPhone one of the most
anticipated devices of the year. Apple Inc. is known for its user-friendly interfaces and the iPhone is no exception. The iPhone has a touch screen that allows you to navigate quickly and easily through all the functions of the phone. The aesthetic design is also very appealing. “It just looks so damn cool,” said one recent CS alumni, Arthur Li. firstname.lastname@example.org
Technical specifications Screen size: 3.5 inches Screen resolution: 320 x 480 at 160ppi Input method: Multi-touch Operating system: OS X variant Storage: 4GB or 8GB GSM: Quad-band (MHz: 850, 900, 1800, 1900) Wireless data: Wi-Fi (802.11b/g) + EDGE + Bluetooth 2.0 Camera: 2.0 megapixels Battery: Up to 5 hours Talk / Video / Browsing, Up to 16 hours Audio playback Dimensions: 4.5 x 2.4 x 0.46 inches Weight: 4.8 ounces / 135 grams
FRIDAY, january 26, 2007
HELP WANTED Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Summer jobs for medical and allied health professionals – application deadline: January 31, 2007. Work with a researcher conducting research/development focused on arthritis. Successful applicants receive a bursary and applicable travel expenses. Visit arthritisnetwork.ca for more information. Great job opportunity! Colonial Times requires an extroverted independant person seeking part time employment for one to two years plus. 20 hours per week, $10/hour. E-mail: brendan-sheehan@hotmail. com with resume. Summer of your life! Camp Wayne for girls – children’s sleep-away camp, Northeast Pennsylvania (6/168/12/07). If you love children and want a caring, fun environment we need counselors and program directors for: tennis, swimming (W.S.I. preferred), golf, gymnastics, cheerleading, drama, high and low ropes, camping/nature, team sports, waterskiing, sailing, painting/drawing, ceramics, silkscreen, printmaking, batik, jewellery, calligraphy, photograhy, sculpture, guitar, aerobics, self-defense, video, piano. Other staff: administrative, CDL driver (21+), nurses (RN’s and nursing students), bookkeeper, mothers’ helper. On campus interview February 7. Select the camp that selects the best staff!
Call 1-215-944-3069 or apply on-line at www.campwaynegirls.com. Let’s make 2007 your best summer yet – Camp Wayne, northeast Pennsylvania, USA. Counselor-specialists all land/water sports inc. Tennis, golf, soccer. Outdoor adventure: camping, mountain biking, climbing/ropes, roller hockey, rocketry, arts and crafts. Water sports: water ski, wakeboard, sailing, canoe/kayaking.Theatre, radio, video, CDL drivers and more. RN’s for our health centre. Let’s get the ball rolling now! Online application www.campwayne.com or e-mail email@example.com or 1-888-5492963, 516-883-3067. Have the summer of your life at a prestigious coed sleep-away camp in the beautiful Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania, two and a half hours from New York City. We’re seeking counselors who can teach any team and individual sports, tennis, gymnastis, horseback riding, mountain biking, theatre, tech theatre, circus, magic, arts and crafts, pioneering, climbing tower, water sports, music, dance or science. Kitchen and maintenance positions also available. Great salaries and perks. Plenty of free time. Internships available for many majors. Interviews on February 7, 2007. Apply online at www.islandlake.com. Call 1-800-869-6083 between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. eastern time on week days. For more information: firstname.lastname@example.org. Special needs worker wanted – enthusiastic, responsible person to care for a 12 year-old girl with C.P. develop skills in augmentative communications, gross motor and eating. Tuesday 3:30 to 6 p.m. and some Saturday hours. $10/hour, starting immediately. Experience with children or any therapy an asset. Training provided.
Columbia/Fischer-Hallman area. Please e-mail resume to whiteside5@ golden.net. For more information call Pat 519-747-9867. Imprint is hiring a volunteer co-ordinator for the winter term. Flexible hours, $11/hour and a great resume builder. Must be eligible for OWSP. E-mail resume to editor@imprint. uwaterloo.ca or drop in to SLC, room 1116. Summer camp counselors on campus interviews for premier camps in Massachusetts – positions available for talented, energetic and fun loving students as counselors in all team sports including soccer and lacrosse, all individual sports such as tennis and golf, waterfront and pool activities and specialty activities including arts, dance, theatre, gymnastics, newspaper, rockertry and radio. Great salaries, room, board, travel and US summer work visa. June 16 to August 11. Enjoy a great summer that promises to be unforgettable. Apply now! For more information www. campdanbee.com (girls) or 1-800392-3752 or mark@campdanbee. com. Interviewer will be on campus Wednesday, March 7 from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. in the Student Life Centre, main floor. Imprint is hiring a Systems Administrator. If you have an advanced knowledge of linux-based small office networks, this is a perfect position to get your start. Flexible hours – $11/hour. E-mail resume to editor@imprint. uwaterloo.ca.
Cigarette study – smokers needed. $70 cash paid. Please state your name, age and brand of cigarettes smoked most often. Call Sandy at 519-578-0873 or e-mail this info to email@example.com.
COURSES Industry Summer Training Program for Undergraduates – Application deadline: January 31, 2007. Participate in cutting-edge arthritis research
in an industry setting. Salary USD $16-$20/hour. Airfare and initial visa application costs are covered. For more information visit www.arthritisnetwork.ca. SP-100 Forest Firefighting course, London, March 7-11 or Waterloo, March 14-18, 2007. To register, please call Wildfire Specialists Inc., 2233 Radar Road, Suite 5, Hanmer, Ontario, P3P 1R2. Toll free: 1-877-3815849. Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources accredited. No guarantee of employment.
HOUSING Premium three-bedroom townhouse unit in a professionally managed student complex. Perfect for students, close to UW campus. Now renting May or September 2007. Call Perry now at 519-746-1411 for all the details and to set up a showing. Room for rent for a quiet individual in a detached home near both universities. Parking and all amenities. Please call 519-725-5348. Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conveniently and comfortably right across the street from s[chool in this beautifully renovated apartment. 4, 8 and 12-month leases available with excellent signing bonuses and rental incentives! Call Perry at 519-746-1411 for more details. Only $369 - Five Bedroom House, must see, goes fast, excellent location, 147 B Weber Street North, Starting May 01/07, close to everything, very clean, free washer/dryer, gas heated, cheap utilities, two full bathrooms, two fridges, hardwood floors & ceramic tile throughout, large private yard and large deck, free parking for five cars, on bus route.
27 $369 per room, per month. Call 519741-7724. Only $369 - Five Bedroom House, must see, goes fast, excellent location, 121 B Noecker Street, Starting May 01/07, close to everything, very clean, free washer/dryer, gas heated, cheap utilities, two full bathrooms, two fridges, hardwood floors & ceramic tile throughout, large private yard and large deck, free parking for five cars, on bus route. $369 per room , per month. Call 519-741-7724. Only $399 - Four Bedroom Housing, 34 Bridgeport Road, East, Starting May 01/07, excellent location, on bus route, close to everything, downtown at WLU near UW, new, immaculate, open concept kitchen, all appliances, dishwasher, dining room and living room open onto a private balcony, air conditioning, huge rooftop garden patio, complete laundry facilities, dryers free, free parking, gas heat, gas water heater, cheap utilities, on bus route, perfect for students, rents fast, a must see. Only $399 per room, per month. Call 519-741-7724. www. acdev.ca for more info and pictures.
Help shape your student newspaper’s future. Imprint’s hiring committee is looking for 2 fee-paying UW students to help hire our next Editor-in-Chief. If interested e-mail Jeff Anstett at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Campus Bulletin CHURCH SERVICE St. Bede’s chapel at Renison College offers worship on Sundays at 10:30 a.m. or take a break mid-week with a brief silence followed by Celtic noon prayers on Wednesdays. Beginning Janaury 21 there will also be a 4 p.m. worship. For more info call 519-8844404, ext 28604 or email@example.com.
ANNOUNCEMENTS Bands wanted! The GO! Music Festival is currently accepting applications from bands to fill 35 showcase spots. The festival will be held across five licensed venues in Uptown Waterloo March 9 and 10. Submit applications to The Beat Goes On stores in Waterloo or Kitchener or visit the website: beatgoeson.com. Engineers Without Borders (EWB) are taking another step towards making poverty history through impacts locally as well as overseas. 2007 National Conference in Calgary January 24-27 will be attended by 34 UW student delegates with four of these students going to Zambia, Ghana and Malawi to work in areas of water, sanitation, etc. Hey students! Tune in weekly to “Morning Drive” with DJ Cool at CKMS 100.3FM for important info on what is happening locally, on campus and in your area. Music, fun and more – firstname.lastname@example.org. Exchange opportunities to RhoneAlpes, France and Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany for the 2007-2008 academic year – to undergraduates and graduates. For additional informatiton and application form/deadlines contact Maria Lango, IPO, Needles Hall, room 1043, ext 33999 or by email: email@example.com.
CAREER SERVICES Thursday, February 1 – Interview Skills: Selling Skills, TC1208, from 3:30 to 5:30 p.m. Monday February 5 – Starting Your Own Business: The Basics, TC2218A, from 4:30 to 6:30 p.m. Wednesday, February 7 – Work Search Strategies, TC1208, from 3:30 to 5 p.m. Career Interest Assessment, TC1112, 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. Alumni Career Planning Workshop, TC1208 from 3:30 to 5 p.m. Job Fair at RIM Park, 2001 University Ave., E., Waterloo from 10 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Thursday, February 8 – Exploring Your Personality Type (Part 1), TC1112, 2:30 to 4 p.m. Successfully Negotiating Job Offers, TC1208, 3:30 to 4:30 p.m. Monday, February 12 – Work Search Strategies: Special Session for International Students, TC2218B, 4:30 to 6 p.m. Starting Your Own Business: Next Steps, TC2218A, 4:30 to 6:30 p.m. Interview Skills: Selling Your Skills, TC1208, 3:30 to 5:30 p.m. Tuesday, February 13 – Networking 101, TC2218A, 4:30 to 6 p.m. Wednesday, February 14 – Business Etiquette and Professionalism, TC1208, 10:30 to 11:30 a.m. Alumni Career Planning Workshop, TC1208, 3:30 to 5:30 p.m. Thursday, February 15 – Exploring Your Personality Type (Part 2), TC1112, 2:30 to 4:30 p.m. Interview Skills: Preparing for Questions, TC1208, 2:30 to 3:30 p.m.
January 2007 We are located on the 2nd floor of Needles Hall and are open Monday to Friday, 8:30 a.m to 4:30 p.m. Scholarships/awards available for winter 2007 on-line at http://safa.uwaterloo.ca/
VOLUNTEER Distress Line volunteers wanted – Canadian Mental Health Association is seeking caring volunteers to provide supportive listening and crisis deescalation to callers living in Waterloo Region. Please call 519744-7645, ext 300. Summer volunteer opportunities with Grand River Hospital/Cancer Centre. Information sesions will be in March, April and early May. Please call 519-749-4300, ext 2613 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org for details. Volunteers needed – volunteer with a child at their school and help improve their self-esteem and confidence. One to three hours a week commitment. Call Canadian Mental Health at 519-744-7645, ext 229. Volunteer Action Centre – connecting talent and community – “Give the gift of friendship” by volunteering to visit a senior or adult with a disability. Call 519-742-6502 or email email@example.com for info. “Hopespring Cancer Support Centre” is looking for peer support volunteers. Call Barb at 519-742-4673 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. “K-W Sexual Assault Support Centre” is seeking female volunteers. Info night on February 20 from 6 to 9 p.m. Call 519-571-0121 or e-mail volunteer@ kwsasc.org. “Participation HouseWaterloo Wellington” is looking for volunteers. Training is provided.
Call 519-742-9424, ext 204 or e-mail email@example.com. “Help street youth” by volunteering at R.O.O.F. For info call 519-742-2788, ext 224 or firstname.lastname@example.org. Volunteer Marketing Intern needed at RBC Dominion Securities Inc. starting in February, 10-15 hr/week. This internship will involve assisting an Investment Advisor with various marketing projects throughout the term in question. The intern will be required to pursue various tasks requiring strong communication, organizational and computer literacy skills. Qualified individuals are students with a strong initiative, direction and desire to succeed. Email cover letter and resume to jeff. email@example.com, attention Jeff Gates.
AWARDS Win up to $1,000 for your writing! Students in third/fourth years qualify for STC’s Heidi Thiessen Memorial Award for Student Technical Writing. Visit www.stc-soc.org/awards/student.php for details and an application.
or www.projectread.ca for info. Volunteer Fair is being held at Conestoga Mall from 9:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. For more info call 519-742-8610 or www.volunteerkw.ca. Tuesday, January 30, 2007 Volunteer/Internship Fair – 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. – come out and meet representatives from a variety of local agencies to find out about volunteering opportunities of all kinds. Also, talk with representatives recruiting interns for very specific projects: setting up research, planning projects, prepairing presentations - just to name a few. Thursday, February 1, 2007 The Machines plus musical guests Charlemagne appearing at the Grad House. Doors open at 9. Photo ID required, 19+. Admission. Friday, February 2, 2007 Fundraiser rock show at the Artery Gallery, 158 King St., W., Kitchener. Performances by Bocce, The Sourkeys, Knock Knock Ginger and Agile Like This. Doors open at 8 with cover. Donation to food bank is appreciated.
UPCOMING Friday, January 26, 2007 January is Alzheimer Awareness month – “Manulife Walk/Skate for Memories” from 7 to 9 p.m. and “Healthier Brains” from 7:30 to 8 p.m. at Waterloo Memorial Arena. Register at www.walkformemories.ca or call 519-742-1422 for info. Saturday, January 27, 2007 Project READ Literacy Network is looking to break our regional record, by hoping to record the most families reading together at one time. Other events will be taking place such as making puppets. Call 519-570-3054
Classified and Campus Bulletin submission deadline is Mondays at 5 p.m. Drop in to SLC room 1116, call 888-4048 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org
Friday, January 26, 2007
email@example.com Sports Editor: Shawn Bell Sports Assistant: Doug Copping
Waterloo sweeps Windsor in home-and-home James Rowe staff reporter
The Waterloo Warriors men’s hockey team swept a home-and-home series with the Windsor Lancers on January 19 and 20. The Warriors were led by an incredible offensive performance by second-year centre David Edgeworth. The Kingston native scored seven goals in the two games, one more than he had scored all season coming into the weekend. With the 7-4 and 5-4 wins, Waterloo moved up two spots to number four in the CIS rankings. On Friday, January 19 the Warriors travelled to Windsor to take on the Lancers at the Adie Knox Arena. In the first period, Edgeworth’s two goals put the Warriors out in front before a Lancers power play marker cut the deficit in half heading into the second period. Windsor continued the comeback in the second, scoring a pair of shorthanded goals in the frame. Waterloo was able to respond with tallies by Doug Spooner and Joel Olszowka to keep their one goal lead in tact at 4-3. Edgeworth completed the hat trick early in the third, then started another as both he and captain Kevin Hurley scored empty net goals in the waning moments of the game. CIS scoring leader Jordie Preston beat UW goaltender Jimmy Bernier for the Lancers’ final goal of the game. Preston had two goals and two assists on the night. Along with Edgeworth’s four goal outburst, Hurley had three points, while Olszowka, Spooner and Ryan MacGregor all had two points apiece. Bernier made 32 saves between the pipes to get the win. The next night the two teams met
Photos by Shawn Bell
Jordan Brenner’s overtime top corner wrist shot buried the Lancers at CIF. The Warriors, now 18-3-1, are ranked fourth in CIS. again, this time at the CIF Arena here in Waterloo. Once again Edgeworth struck twice in the opening period, along with a goal by Sean Roche to give the Warriors a 3-0 lead after the first. Just nine seconds into the second that became a four goal lead when Edgeworth beat Windsor goaltender Reese Kalleitner to complete his second consecutive hat trick. Up by four already, it appeared as though the rout was on. But the Lancers got on the board before the
second period was out, cutting the deficit to 4-1 after 40 minutes. In the third, Windsor’s Alex White scored a shorthanded goal and a power play goal to cut the deficit to just one. Then, with Waterloo’s Jordan Brenner in the penalty box for tripping and goalie Kalleitner on the bench for a six on four advantage, White burned the Warriors again. His natural hat trick in the third period had tied things up with only 14 seconds remaining and sent the game into overtime. On the first shift of the extra frame,
Brenner would atone for his penalty that had led to the tying goal. Just 14 seconds after the faceoff, Brenner scored to give Waterloo a 5-4 win. UW goaltender Bernier assisted on the goal. The goal was Brenner’s second overtime winner of the season, having beaten Western on a shorthanded goal in October. Brenner also had two assists on the night, as did Dave Philpott. Defenceman Sean Moir was plus four in the game.
Nordic ski team starts season with success Louis Swift reporter
On January 20 the Waterloo Nordic ski team travelled to the first official OUA qualifier race of the season. Due to the significant lack of snow this winter, the location was moved from Sudbury to Duntroon, Ontario. The race was a one-day competition, with a classic race in the morning followed by a skate team sprint in the afternoon. Waking up Saturday morning, conditions were radically different from any previously seen this winter. There was a snowsquall warning in effect for the region, and 20 cm of snow on the ground from the night before, not counting the snowstorm of the previous day. Needless to say, the majority of the team was satisfied with amount of snow that fell, and felt that there was enough snow to ski. Both men’s and women’s classic races began, took place, and finished in the pouring snow, making for slow conditions due to the large amounts of new-fallen snow as well as the limited visibility. Despite the adverse conditions and lack of early season skiing for the team, they turned in
some incredibly good performances. Harry Seaton (in photo), an OUA allstar last season, showed the rest of the field how is he on track for an even better performance than last year, as he finished the 10km course in first, winning in a time of 38:36. On the women’s side, Nellie Dow skied to a strong fifth place, finishing the five km course in a time of 22:43. Both racers faced fields that numbered in the 40s. The large number of rookies on the UW team also had strong individual races, impressing all with what was the first race of the season for the majority. Due to the disgusting amount of new snow, the start for the sprint races was pushed back an hour so the course could be groomed. After the delay, the UW Nordic Team proved that their success in the morning was not simply a fluke, putting on a sprinting clinic in the 1 km, 6 lap race. The duo of Harry Seaton and Colin Rhodes skied to a strong second place, and the other five Waterloo teams had good races as well. On the whole, the weekend was a success and the team now turns to the fresh snow to get prepared for the upcoming OUA races in Ottawa.
The prolific Preston had three assists for Windsor. This week the Warriors were to face Brock on January 24 in St. Catharines. Results were unavailable at press time. The next home action for the Warriors comes on Saturday, January 27, at the CIF Arena when the Warriors host the York Lions. In their only meeting of the season Waterloo tied the Lions 2-2. Game time is at 7:30 p.m. firstname.lastname@example.org
Men’s Hockey Far West
W L T OTL PTS
Waterloo 22 18 3 1 0 37 Western 22 13 5 2 2 30 Lakehead 22 12 7 2 1 27 Windsor 21 8 12 0 1 17 Christine Ogley
David Edgeworth named CIS male athlete of the week The Warriors second-year forward David Edgeworth was named male athlete of the week by the CIS. Edgeworth scored seven goals, including back-to-back hat tricks, in Waterloo’s weekend sweep of Windsor. The 6’1”, 205 lb Edgeworth scored four times, including the game winner, in Windsor, and then scored three more back at CIF the next night. The 21-year-old has 13 goals and 28 points in 22 games this season. —Shawn Bell
FRIDAY, January 26, 2006
Warriors lose to Windsor before beating up on Western Waterloo shows inconsistencies; struggles on road before big home win Shawn Bell sports editor
The womenâ€™s hockey team came into the Columbia Ice Fields with their equipment on their backs just as Windsor scored, with 15 seconds left, to send the menâ€™s game to OT on January 18. â€œItâ€™s a tough day,â€? Laura Sturch said on her way to the dressing room, â€œwe lost to Windsor this afternoon, too.â€? She spoke of the 3-2 upset, on January 20, in Windsor. The Lancers, near the bottom of the league, have given Waterloo trouble all year; this Windsor victory ends the season series between the two teams an even 1-1-1. But the women were watching, 14 seconds into overtime, when Jordan Brenner went top corner short side to beat the Lancer goalie and set things right in Warrior-land. The arena let out a sigh of relief and we all went home happy. The next night the women looked to right the slip at the Columbia Ice Fields against Western. Sure enough, the energy from the night before carried over. Waterloo dominated. Though they couldnâ€™t beat the Mustangsâ€™ goalie Lebar in the first period, it was only a minute into the second that Nadine Vandenhuevel banged in a rebound and the Warriors were on the board. They did not let up. Lebar, playing under the Warrior banners hanging from the southern rafters, had no chance; first Sarah Bryson, left alone in the slot, converted a beauty pass from Randi Wilson to put Waterloo up two; then, no time later, Wilson cut across the slot and rang a wrist shot off the crossbar. Western was chasing
Brody Hohman reporter
NBA Rudy Gay â€“ 17/4/3/2/1 over his last 3 as the coaching change in Memphis seems to be benefiting Gay, heâ€™s an excellent roto option when playing well, and even head to head with lines like this. Ruben Patterson â€“ With so many injuries in Milwaukee Patterson is taking advantage. 15.5/6/2.75/1 in his last 4 games. Jose Calderon â€“ TJ Fordâ€™s ankle injury is lingering lately and Calde-
the puck; they took a penalty. On the power play, Carissa Casselman, standing on top of the point like McCabe, took a pass from her own Kaberle, Jenny Bults, and one-timed a blast through a crowd and in for a 3-0 lead. And then, to finish off the wild second period, Michelle Curtis cleared the slot, Wilson cut across it once more, and this time she hit that top corner with a sniperâ€™s wrist shot. 4â€“0 Waterloo. In the third period the Warriors scored once more before Western broke Alexis Huberâ€™s shutout with nine minutes left. Huber played another solid game in net, stopping 30 Mustang shots. The win gives Waterloo (6-6-2-1) 15 points, but the loss to Windsor let the Brock Badgers back into the race. Brock and Waterloo are once again tied for fifth. Perhaps more interesting, for those who look ahead, are the Guelph Gryphons. With 19 points, the Gryphons are in fourth, but they have played two more games than Waterloo. Next, the Warriors are home to the OUA leading Laurier Golden Hawks. Laurier, ranked #4 in the country, beat Waterloo 3-1 in their home rink back in October. The Warriors better hope the team that showed up for Western is the team that comes for Laurier on January 27 at 2:00 p.m. at the Ice Fields. As we saw against the Mustangs, Waterloo can be a dominating team. But Western is no WLU. Come Saturday we will see just where these Warriors stack up against the best in the OUA. email@example.com
ron is a great option when he sees a lot of floor time. Heâ€™s 15/8/.60/.100 over his last 3. Stephen Jackson â€“ Heâ€™ll probably always be inconsistent but a change of scenery and a Warriors team that will allow him to shoot a lot is a better situation for him than Indiana, expect his play to pick up a bit. Marvin Williams â€“ Still young and inconsistent but he looks like heâ€™s heating up (14/6/3 in last 4), when he does look out. NHL Lee Stempniak â€“ Look out here come
THIS WEEK IN ATHLETICS
Michelle Curtis breaks in all alone in the Warriors 5-1 home victory over Western.
the St. Louis Bluesâ€Śthatâ€™s just fun to say. Stempniak has been getting better as the year progresses (28 pts) and could be in for a nice second half, which would make him a decent low-end option. Ryan Clowe â€“ 12 G/17 pts/+7/43 PIM in 24 games this year. You gotta love San Joseâ€™s endless youth. Martin Erat â€“ 4 pts/+2 in his last 3 and quietly having a very nice season (42pts/+14). Roman Hamrlik â€“ Is a + 22 on the year and has been good lately..
Saturday, January 26 vs WLU 2 p.m. CIF Arena Listen live on CKMSFM.ca
Saturday, January 27 vs York 7:30 p.m. CIF Arena Listen live on CKMSFM.ca
James Rowe staff reporter
Track and field Competing in the Don Wright Invitational in London on January 20, UWâ€™s Kirk Ewen won gold in the 600m and teammate Colin Lawrence earned the bronze in the same race. Others to reach the podium in their respective events were Kate Bickle, Jamie Houseman, rookie Nancy Spreitzer, Dan Ritz, Caitlin Lee, Jeremiah Derksen, the menâ€™s 4 x 200m relay team and the womenâ€™s and menâ€™s 4 x 400m relay teams. Also, nationally
ranked Jenna Bell finished second in the pentathlon at the Nike Track Classic in Toronto. Next up for the Warriors is the McGill Team Challenge in Montreal on January 26 and 27. Menâ€™s volleyball The Warriors were swept 3-0 by the University of Toronto on January 20. This weekend Waterloo hosts McMaster and Guelph on January 26 and January 27, respectively. Both games are in the PAC and both will start at 8:00 p.m. firstname.lastname@example.org
Wednesday, January 31 Waterloo vs McMaster Women @ 6 pm ; *Men @ 8 pm *Listen live on CKMSFM.ca
Friday, January 26 vs McMaster, Women @ 6 pm ; Men @ 8 pm PAC Saturday, January 27 vs Guelph, Women @ 6 pm ; Men @ 8 pm
ATHLETES OF THE WEEK DAVID EDGEWORTH, HOCKEY A second year Kinesiology student from Kingston, Ontario, scored seven times in two games this weekend against the Windsor Lancers; Friday night 7-4 victory with 4 goals and Saturday evening 5-4 OT win with 3 goals. With the two wins Waterloo maintains top spot in the OUA with 37 points. Dave was also selected as the OUA and CIS Athlete of the Week.
JENNA BELL, TRACK AND FIELD: A fourth year Kinesiology student from Calgary, Alberta, finished second overall this past weekend in the Pentathlon event at the Nike Track Classic in Toronto. With her second place finish, Jenna now ranks second in the CIS for total points in this event. Jenna also ranks 10th in the CIS in the 60m hurdles and 12th in the CIS in the long jump.
FRIDAY, January 26, 2006
Losing streak grows to three before Warriors win at home Two games at PAC; loss to Western, win over Windsor has Waterloo 9-7, tied for fifth in West division Adnan Khan reporter
Warriors shot 37% and 51% in two games. They only won one.
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Waterloo shot an amazing 51 per cent from the field, with four players scoring in double figures. Kim Lee led the way with 19 points and Maxwell had another busy day at the office registering a double-double with 14 points and twelve rebounds. The Warriors had lost to the Lancers early in the year and they really wanted this game. â€œWe really wanted to prove what we can do,â€? said second year guard Melanie Belore. â€œThe three hour ride from back Windsor was a horrible thing when we lost earlier in the year. We wanted this one.â€? Defense was also a strong point in this game. Waterloo held the Lancers to only 64 points. However, Windsor guard Dranadia Roc dropped 39 of those points and Warrior defence allowed only ten points to the second leading scorer. The win against the Lancers was a total team effort on both sides of the ball. Maybe the three game losing streak is exactly what the doctor ordered for this Warrior ball club. They now know that they can lose on any given night and that they must play consistent basketball from start to finish. If the Windsor game is any indication of what is to come from the ladies of Waterloo, the rest of the OUA should be afraid. The Warriors are as hungry as ever.
At press time Waterloo was hosting Brock. Their next game is at Laurier, January 27 at 12 p.m.
Waterloo curling builds momentum at West-Sectionals Steve Utz staff reporter
Menâ€™s varsity skip Ryan Sayer entered the hack for his final shot of the eighth end against Western on Sunday with his team trailing 5-1 and facing two more Mustang stones. Needing the perfect double takeout to score four points and square the match, it would have been easy to let nerves enter into the equation. Yet somehow he felt strangely relaxed. â€œI just played the shot out in my head a few times and focused on making a clean, smooth delivery,â€?
The Warriors split the past two games this week with a 59-73 loss to Western and an 80-64 win over Windsor. Going into this weekâ€™s games with a two game losing streak, Waterloo went into the game against Western playing hard; but fell short due to a size advantage. Playing the way the Warriors do night in and night out, it was just a matter of time before fatigue really got to them. Facing a much larger Western team, Waterloo was dominated physically and that is something that does not happen very often. â€œWe were beaten physically,â€? said Coach Watsa, â€œThey had a size advantage on us.â€? Waterloo struggled the whole night, shooting only 37 per cent from the field and 29 per cent from behind the arc. Waterlooâ€™s usual gritty play could not make up for the fact that they were playing a very hot Western team. The Mustangs came
out dominating the boards, out rebounding the Warriors 40-29. Mustang guard Nadine Paron absolutely scorched the Warriors going 12 for 15 from the field, shooting four for six from the land of plenty, and finishing with 30 points. The Warriors didnâ€™t have an answer for her the whole night and the Western guard was able to take over the game. On a good note, Warriors forward Gillian Maxwell had a typical Maxwell night registering a doubledouble with 15 points and ten rebounds. Going into the January 18 game against the Windsor Lancers, morale wasnâ€™t too high in the Warrior locker room but determination was at its peak. Speaking to Coach Watsa, he said that the girls knew the magnitude of this game and he did not have to say much to get the girls mentally prepared for the game. â€œThe girls know how important this game is for us,â€? said Watsa, â€œWe want just want to go out there and play good basketball.â€? And good basketball is exactly what Coach Watsa got from his players. The Lancers could not have picked a worse day to visit the tenacious Warriors. From start to finish Waterloo played a solid determined game; from jump ball to the final seconds of the game the Warriors just wanted it more. Losing isnâ€™t the Warrior way and the girls made sure they didnâ€™t drop another one at home, winning 80-64.
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commented Sayer after the match. â€œI knew that if I could do that much at least, that the guys would take care of the rest.â€? Seconds later, both Western stones had been extricated and the Warriors had found themselves in a tie ball game. But more importantly, they had also found a little of their old swagger. â€œThat really was the turning point in the day for us,â€? said Sayer. â€œAfter that, we started to regain our confidence.â€? Indeed, even more than just what the doctor had ordered, it was what coach Scott Allen had been desperately seeking from his captain throughout the OUA west-sectionals. â€œOnce Ryan started calling a more aggressive game plan, the team succeeded,â€? summarized Allen. â€œWhen we played conservatively, we lost.â€? On the attack the rest of the way, the menâ€™s team of alternate John Feldkamp, lead Craig Martin, second Jared Collie and vice Graehem Sayer completed the comeback against Western before looking down the heavily stacked Brock Badger line-up en route to an 8-7 victory. Not to mention looking over to find the ladiesâ€™ team getting their groove back. Despite showing flashes of dominance in their first round-robin game against the Windsor Lancers, the womenâ€™s team of alternate Nathalie GagnĂŠ, lead Jenna Long, second Amber Gebhardt, vice Jackie Craig and skip Marika Bakewell were stymied by the hot shooting of the Windsor back-end players in a heartbreaking 8-7 final. After dropping a second straight decision at the hands of Western, the ladies found themselves in even more trouble when they left defending OUA champion Britanni Oâ€™Neil and the rest of the Brock Badgers
The Waterloo men went 2-1 in London, the women 1-2. with an open hit for five points in the fourth end of play. And then the unthinkable happened. Over-directing the stone on release, Oâ€™Neilâ€™s takeout attempt not only missed the intended Waterloo counter, but also disastrously bumped a second Waterloo rock into the house to score. While good curling teams have all of the shots that it takes to win, great teams know when the opportunity presents itself to step on the opponentâ€™s jugular. And the Waterloo womenâ€™s squad is a great curling team. Comprising of four of the five members that claimed bronze at the Canadian University Curling Championships in 2005, the ladies manufactured statistically perfect fifth and sixth ends to run away with a 9-2 triumph and regain their form. â€œWe had struggled a little bit and the other teams are too good to play poorly against,â€? conceded Gebhardt. â€œBut I know that if we play the way that we can that we will be able to come out with a winning record.â€? Both teams will be seeking to
continue their solid play at the OUA crossovers in Kingston on February 3-4 and pick up the wins necessary to earn a playoff spot among the top four OUA squads. email@example.com
The situation facing Ryan Sayer in eigth end against Western. He scored four on the shot.
FRIDAY, January 26, 2006
Warriors drop two in home stand Warriors drop to 6-8, tied for seventh in OUA West Brody Hohman reporter
The up-and-down season continued for the Warriors last week as they dropped home games to both Western and Windsor. On January 17 the Western Mustangs got by UW 69-55 before the Windsor Lancers did the same Saturday afternoon by a score of 85-66. The losses knock Waterloo to 6-8 on the year and seventh in the OUA West, one place out of the final playoff spot. But that is a deceiving assessment of the current situation, as Brock and McMaster are both tied for second with a record of just 7-6. Guelph, Western and Laurier are all right behind them with 6-7 records. Apart from first-place Windsor (10-3) the division is a toss-up right now as six teams battle for the five remaining playoffs spots. That battle brought Western to the PAC on Wednesday night but the Warriors couldn’t find their offence in the second half, allowing Western to head home with the victory.
The Warriors led early in a back and forth opening 10 minutes but the Mustangs went on a 17-1 run to take hold of the lead. Dave Burnett’s ten points and a late Matt Kieswetter deuce brought the Warriors to within five, going to the locker room down 39-34. The second half saw Western build their lead with an 8-0 run as they pounded the ball inside. The Mustangs’ inside game was too much for the Warriors to handle and combined with Waterloo shooting 32 per cent on the other end Western was able to maintain a comfortable lead to close out the half. Despite winning the turnover battle 10-13 and playing some aggressive perimeter defence the Warriors couldn’t get inside with any authority or creativity. “Our offence just wasn’t clicking,” UW forward Ben Frisby lamented on the second-half shooting woes; it was just one of those nights for the young Warriors. Burnett finished with 12 points and seven assists while Kieswetter added 10 of his own. Michael Davis had a near double-double with 10 points and nine rebounds to go along with a steal and three blocks, including two emphatic swats late in the game on attempted Western dunks. Andrew Wedemire led the Mustangs with 19 points and Matt Curtis handled the point well with 16 points and eight assists.
On Saturday the usually solid Warrior defence allowed Lancers to score 85 points, a trend that a lot of teams are seeing when they play Windsor, a team that has scored 987 points in 13 games. A solid all around effort guided the Lancers to a 42-33 half time lead and a nearly identical second 20 minutes gave them the comfortable 85-66 win. The Warriors shot just 38 per cent on the night compared to Windsor’s 47.5 per cent and were out rebounded 38-27. Leading the scoring for the Warriors was Alan Goodhoofd, who continues to impress. He drained 15 points on six of 10 shooting while Burnett and Kieswetter had 14 and 13 respectively. Michael Davis had another strong all around game with 10 points on 50 per cent shooting to go along with five rebounds and four blocks, giving him seven rejections in two games. Kevin Kloostra had 19 points and 8 boards for Windsor while Greg Surmacz added 18 and nine. Up next for the black and gold are the perennially solid Brock Badgers (76) who visited the PAC Wednesday, so results were unavailable at press time. On Saturday afternoon the Warriors head down University Avenue for the first instalment of the Battle of Waterloo as they take on the 6-7 Laurier Golden Hawks at 2 p.m. at the WLU Athletic Complex.
Ben Frisby tries voodoo on the Lancers. (It didn’t work.)
Exploring new territory: Waterloo triathalon club David Klaponski reporter
Having grown up as an athlete and been involved with sports my whole life, I was already well aware of triathalon, but I did not necessarily have a good grasp on what exactly the sport entails. Unlike most sports, triathalon has no nets to score on, no balls or pucks to shoot and the only rewards are shortness of breath and the burning of your thighs. In a race, there are no cheerleading squads to support you and no teammates to keep you motivated. To find out why these athletes in this seemingly individualistic sport try so hard with so little visible reward I decided to check out our University of Waterloo campus triathalon club. I showed up to a seven o’clock spin-class (that’s bike-class for all
you noobs) on Sunday night at CIF to find some answers. I walked into the spin room and started to set up my bike. Some of the highest
The Waterloo triathalon team training hard at CIF.
“I earned my undergraduate degree,
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quality equipment I’ve ever seen at UW, these spin-bikes need to have their seats screwed on for every use. I made the classic rookie mistake and drop the screw on the floor. I saw a bunch of the more senior members of the club laugh. Actually, the club doesn’t have many senior members. It has only been around for a year. As the class got going, I started to see why this sport is starting to gain such popularity. As the certified Campus Rec instructor, Jordyn Rettinger, began to up the tempo, my legs started to get heavy and I felt the burn. Thinking about slowing down the pace a bit, I gpt a lift of energy as I saw all the others working just as hard, and I kept pushing myself. After the 45 minute session finished I began to realize what makes the triathalon club at Waterloo such a good idea.
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Although the sport of triathalon is a purely individual event, the community atmosphere of the triathalon club, like the one here at UW, incorporates the benefits found in team sports, such as peer motivation, competition and simple group dynamics and adds it to often boring task of triathlon training. Co-founder of the triathalon club, UW student Jared Kalef said that this community feel is “natural in the sport of triathalon.” He explained further. “Everyone who participates in this sport, no matter what level, understands how difficult it is and how much commitment you need to be able to complete any distance triathalon. Because of this understanding, everyone is so encouraging of everyone else no matter what time you cross the finish line.”
This community feel might not be unique to the sport of triathalon but it still does have its exclusive features. Kalef said, “Triathalon is the only sport where you can start the race next to the best guy in the world.” Anyone can get involved in triathlon, one doesn’t have to have extremely good dexterity, natural talent or size. Triathalon is a sport for everyone, the young and the old, the amateur and the pro. I encourage anyone who is interested in staying in shape, getting fit or even just to have some fun, to take up the sport of triathlon. The UW triathalon club meets several times a week and is open to any level of commitment. For more information about the club, their email is uwtriclub@ hotmail.com.
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FRIDAY, January 26, 2006
Warriors volleyball win seventh straight UW battles Mac this Friday at 6 p.m. in the PAC — free volleyballs for the first 50 fans
Warriors (9-7) are currently 3rd in OUA west with 18 pts.
Doug Copping assistant sports editor
A warrior is one habitually engaged in combat. Waterloo — a Belgium town where Napoleon met his downfall — is defined as the place challengers come for a final crushing defeat. The Warriors women’s volleyball team lived up to this historical context, sweeping Ryerson 3–0 for their seventh consecutive victory. On their quest towards an OUA championship, these Warriors will face many enemies. To their credit, Waterloo has a spectrum of allies helping the team continue to live up to their name. Opposition to the women’s volleyball team may not realized it, but when they travel to Waterloo they also compete against men from the rugby and basketball teams, all at once. For example, during the Saturday evening game, Warriors from the mens basketball team occupied the front row, sitting mid court. Their presence was entertaining; their annimated cheers and dancing, engaging. They heckled the visitors relentlessly. “Every game they’ve come out to heckle our opposition, we’ve won,” said Gaby Lesniak after the game. This fan support can make the difference between winning and losing. “Nothing beats the rush of hearing the crowd cheer you on,” she added. “It’s a competitive edge that allows us to dominate mentally.”
Vital psychological support is also provided from other varsity athletes. When Amanda Verhoeve performed somersaults attempting to return a spike, excited fans from the Warriors rugby crew holler, “We love you #3!” Combining their talent with a diverse cast of support, it’s hardly a surprise that these girls dominated from the start, winning the first two sets with little difficulty. The third set was “do or die” for Ryerson. Hungry for victory, they gave the Warriors a solid fight, answering and defending attacks to keep the score neck and neck. This glimmer of hope revealed visiting fans, previously anonymous. Courageous parents supporting Ryerson suddenly gained the confidence to rise to their feet, cheering. This encouragement came at a time when most needed, but was too little too late. In the hot seat Ryerson choked, losing possession and giving Waterloo the opportunity to end the game. The response to this mistake was aggressive, both on and off court. Illustrated with both hand gestures and voice, the basketball squad chanted, “It’s all your fault! It’s all your fault…” to the visiting girl who served the ball out. These fans, unable to get more engaged unless on court returning serves, had an enthusiasm that was contagious. It elevated the Warrior spirit, marking the beginning of the end for Ryerson. Responses to the commitment on court varied. Some less daring,
but equally sincere. Travelling from London, Ontario, a pair of Warrior parents observed, “These girls have excellent chemistry. They’re having fun. This dynamic makes watching the game very enjoyable.” A scholar in the crowd contemplated the event from a poetic perspective. “The way these girls rock can be studied like geology,” he explained. “It’s an inspiring example of coming together to overcome obstructions.” Carrying this momentum into the future will be critical for their quest to an OUA championship. “This was a very important win,” said head coach Gaby Jobst. “We play McMaster next, one of our toughest competitors.” This next battle begins 6 p.m. sharp, Friday, January 26th in the PAC. The event includes T-shirt giveaways during the game and an autograph session afterwards with the athletes. The first 50 fans to arrive will receive a complimentary volleyball. Admission is free for this community event called Warrior Night. In tribal societies, warriors are often elevated to a class of their own. Walking home afterwards, the author crossed paths with a confidant, energetic leader. “Thanks for the support,” she said while we exchanged high fives and exited the gym. “We appreciate it.” These Warriors are dynamic, fun and down to earth. firstname.lastname@example.org
Athlete Profile: Gaby Lesniak
Gaby Lesniak talks about her development as an athlete in an interview with Doug Copping.
Growing Up Growing up, I played tennis with my twin brother. He would always beat me. I quit because I couldn’t win. When watching him play I remember thinking, “I want to jump that high.” I would compare myself to boys and practise jumping. One day I went to volleyball camp and dominated. I loved it. I have been playing ever since. Our new coach knows what it takes to be a professional athlete. She is an All-American from the U.S. and travelled around Europe playing professional beach volleyball. She has the same first name as me. Growing up, I wanted to be “that Gaby.” When I was young, I’d go watch her games. Players often throw their sports bra into the crowd. I caught hers, and still have it. Yeah, it’s autographed.
Influence My indoor team, the Hamilton Spardons, folded when I was in Grade
12. My search for another volleyball club led me to play for the Waterloo Tigers. At the same time, other high school clubs from across Ontario were folding too. Those half-hearted about volleyball just stopped playing. But those passionate searched for alternatives. Many, like myself, came from across the province to play. As a result, our team was stacked with young, aspiring athletes serious about winning. Our team dominated and won the nationals that year. Most of my teammates received scholarships to play varsity across North America.
Attitude My dad was a member of the national sailing team and a strong believer that sports develop character. You learn communication skills and learn to have a more positive perspective. You learn to make the best of difficult situations and to dig yourself out of trouble. I’ll go play volleyball because it’s fun. It’s a spice in my life. There is a point in pre-game preparation when it becomes game-time. When I tie up my volleyball shoes, the person across the net is a competitor, friend or foe.
I concentrate on making intelligent decisions, given the circumstances. I set goals and communicate them to my teammates. This way I know they are measurable and others can correct and encourage me when necessary.
Community Teammates build a support network that makes a difference in your performance. When you know everyone is behind you, you have confidence. When you reach your personal limit, you have to push it. Every minute I am not training and should be, my competition could be gaining ground. You also want to hold your starting position. You’re competitive with other teams, but also with your teammates. We push each other. You make personal decisions for the greater good. When striving towards common goals, it’s easier to make smart decisions. I’m inspired by my teammates and by earning that competitive edge. It takes passion to excel. It takes passion to win. I love it. email@example.com
Courtesy UW Athletics
Gaby Lesniak illustrates her passion for volleyball, winning and life, connecting her experiences to themes that affect us all.
Published on Mar 17, 2011
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