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Imprint The university of Waterloo’s official student newspaper

vol 29, no 9

Friday, September 15, 2006

imprint . uwaterloo . ca

Local golfer scores hole-in-one at the Canadian Open, gives hope for UW golf, page 32

Open arms to orientation students

Photos by Amy Brooks, assembled by Tiffany Li

Students hit the campus the first full week of September for a week of FOC-approved wholesome activities. To our knowledge, the Pink Tie survived.

UW student, family deported,Telegdi frustrated Sarah Allmendinger staff reporter

Manolo Rosales, 3B geography and business student, was deported to the United States on Thursday, September 7, along with his mother and brother. According to Federation of Students President Michelle Zakrison, Feds was unaware of

the situation. They have recently been notified and are trying to help. The family came to Canada five years ago when their work visas in the U.S. expired. Rosales and his family fled from Guatemala 20 years ago after his father tried to start a union in the government health department. As a result of his actions, Manolo’s father was beaten and tortured.

The family was applying to receive refugee status in Canada but was denied. They went on to appeal this decision and were denied again. At this point they tried to apply for humanitarian compassion and were also refused. It states on the Citizenship and Immigration Canada web page that, “Refugees and persons needing protection are people in or outside Canada who fear returning

to their country of nationality or habitual residence.” According to Immigration Canada the reason for the deportation was that the family could not prove that they had roots in Canada or that it was unsafe to return to their home country. See DEPORTED, page 5

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Friday, september 15, 2006 News Editor: Ashley Csanady News Assistant: Vacant

News Imprint

Brendan Pinto Veronique Lecat staff reporter

Monica Harvey reporter


Western Fair officials were forced to cancel the beloved marshmalloweating contest after a woman collapsed during the “chubby bunny” contest September 6, an article from the Associated Press reported. The highly anticipated competition requires the volunteers to continually place marshmallows into their mouth and vocalize the phrase “chubby bunny.” Most contestants are able to successfully cram four marshmallows into their mouths. The woman is currently in Victoria Hospital, in stable but critical condition. “Some pretty funny things come out of peoples’ mouths after a couple of marshmallows,” said Dave Taylor, fair manager. Unfortunately for the woman, the only thing to emerge came in the form of air puffed tragedy.

The Feds executive gather round to cut the ribbon at Bomber’s grand re-opening.


UW welcomes Ethiopian refugee

Kinga Jakab

Ethiopian refugee student Tariku Kebede discusses his experiences travelling from Kenya to Canada through the World University Service of Canada’s Student Refugee Program Suzanne Gardner assistant editor-in-chief

While most first-year students at the University of Waterloo are still adjusting to the concept of living in residence with up to 50 other students, Ethiopian refugee student Tariku Kebede explains that as a result of the 15 years he spent in a Kenyan refugee camp, he has already “learned to live with many different people with many different backgrounds.” This positive attitude seems to come naturally to Kebede, UW’s first refugee student sponsored by the World University Service of Canada’s (WUSC) Student Refugee Program, who arrived at St. Paul’s College September 4. Imprint met up with him at the St. Paul’s cafeteria on the second day of classes and found him chatting happily with several other students, thoroughly enjoying the eatery’s wide menu with large portions. Kebede is one of 33 students from the Kakuma Refugee Camp in northwestern Kenya who are a part of the 2006 WUSC Student Refugee Program. Through this program, students are given the opportunity to continue their education in Canada with financial and logistical support provided by each school’s WUSC local committee. At the age of eight, Kebede and his mother entered the Kenyan refugee

camp which — at the most recent count at the end of 2005, is home to over 90,000 refugees — the majority of which are 15 to 17 years old. With so many student-aged refugees in the camp, Kebede explained that the competition for the Student Refugee Program was incredibly tough. All candidates had to complete a rigorous application process involving two different interviews and two different tests to prove their qualifications and abilities with the English language. The entire process took Kebede almost a year to complete and when asked about his feelings towards his acceptance into the program he modestly replied: “I could not believe when I got that chance.” When discussing his life in the refugee camp, Kebede maintains an optimistic outlook despite spending 15 years in a place he refers to being “just like a prison where [you] can’t go anywhere you wish. Everywhere you go is only under permission. You cannot move around like in the city.” During his time in the camp, Kebede successfully completed his schooling from Grade 1 to Grade 12 — but not without several complications and challenges. Oftentimes teachers would leave the camp unexpectedly, thus leaving the students with no instructor for large gaps of time. Also, many of the teachers at the camps were not

very well-educated, as any person who had completed Grade 12 was permitted to teach. Kebede himself was also a teacher in the refugee camp for two years after he completed his Grade 12

On life in a refugee camp, “[It’s] just like a prison where [you] can’t go anywhere you wish. Everywhere you go is only under permission. You cannot move around like in the city.”

— Tariku Kebede WUSC sponsored refugee student

schooling. When reflecting on these experiences, however, Kebede explained that his rather difficult and often disrupted education helped him “learn to be patient as a refugee” and that this lesson is one of the “best

experiences of [his] life.” Since his arrival at UW, Kebede has already been very involved in activities around the campus, including participating in the orientation weeks planned by both the Faculty of Science and St. Paul’s College. He cited the Secret Science Dance he learned on September 5 as being “a lot of fun” and referenced the beauty of the Elora Gorge which he visited with his residence on the Saturday of that week. In accordance with the Student Refugee Program, Kebede completed an English proficiency test on the first day of classes to determine the level of classes he will attend at the Renison English Language Institute this fall term. Kebede received an advanced -standing grade and will also be attending a few classes in the mathematics department before beginning his degree in the Faculty of Science in the upcoming winter 2007 term. The WUSC local committee chapter at UW will help support Kebede through his first year at university before the student moves towards self-reliance in Canada. Kebede’s refrain when asked about his thoughts on Waterloo thus far: “It is simply beyond my expectations.”

Becoming a sergeant appeared to be more involved and exhausting than anticipated for Madrid police officers who sat down to watch a video presentation on how to be promoted and were instead shown footage of a hardcore pornographic video. Computer technicians said it was a malfunction caused by a Trojan Horse computer virus, which was activated when the computer controlling the video was turned on. While it is sad to think about the disappointed police officers who were hoping to learn about how to be promoted to sergeant, it is even sadder to think that instead they learned how to screw people in even more ways. USA

Some people turn to hypnosis, some “think happy thoughts” when they find themselves in a highrise and others shell out the dough for therapy. There is a lengthy list of options for people suffering from acrophobia — the fear of heights. Jumping off a bridge is not near the top of that list. Nonetheless, a Florida man came up with this brilliant idea whilst out on a bike ride with his 10-year-old daughter Meagan. According to the Associated Press, Meagan’s Dad called out “Trust me!” before holding her hand for the 15-foot free-fall into the Intracoastal Waterway below. Luckily, Meagan landed in the water unscathed. Dad, however, was indeed injured with a broken leg. Meagan had to bike home to her mother to send for help. Charges were not pressed against the father since Meagan made the jump willingly. There was no mention of whether or not Meagan has been cured of her elevation apprehensions.


FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

Municipal elections approaching fast

John Toal

Most UW students live in Central-Columbia Ward 6. The ward councillor candidates for this ward are Mary E. Connolly and Jan d’Ailly. Chris Miller staff reporter

The City of Waterloo will be holding municipal elections November 13. Up for grabs are the positions of mayor, ward councillors, regional chair, the regional councillors for the cities of Waterloo, Kitchener and Cambridge, and school board trustees. This particular election is notable for the expansion of the old six-member council from a mayor and five councillors to a mayor and seven councillors. The University of Waterloo, currently in the Northwest Ward, will on November 30 be represented as part of the new Central-Columbia Ward. The council had voted to extend its size last year. Mayor Herb Epp, who took control of the municipal government three years ago will, along with the rest of his council, stand for re-election. Councillors Gary Kieswetter and Mark Whaley, however, have been put in direct competition by the boundary redistributions. Anthony Piscitelli, former vice president of the Wilfrid Laurier University Students Union and former member of the Wilfrid Laurier Board of Governors, has ended his bid to become a councillor. Piscitelli, who had formally joined the race in March hoping to “add a different voice to Waterloo City Council” as a representative of the student population, announced on September 1 that he would be withdrawing from the election. “I

have not yet developed enough community ties to run a competitive campaign in Waterloo, nor have I lived in Waterloo long enough to understand the historical context associated with the various issues,” stated Piscitelli in an e-mail. With Piscitelli out of the race, current Ward 5 councillor, Ian McLean, remains uncontested for the new Uptown Ward. McLean, along with his fellow councilmen, will continue to represent his constituents until November 30, 2006. He is the councillor liaison to the public works services department and serves on numerous city committees, including the Waterloo Economic Development Committee and the Waterloo Public Library Board of Directors. Aside from the Waterloo Regional Chair, Uptown remains the only position lacking a challenger. Despite the lack of student representatives on the Council, the City of Waterloo has been targeting student voters through its “You Decide” campaign, which instructs young voters on eligibility, who they are voting for and where to vote. Those unable to vote November 13 are invited to take advantage of the city’s advance polls at Conestoga Mall on October 28 or at the Waterloo City Centre on November 1, 2 and 4. Regular polls will be available on campus in the Great Hall of the Student Life Centre on November 13.

 news UW flying high with new aviation programs Deported:UW student forced FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

Amy Brooks imprint intern

Emma Tarswell staff reporter

Starting in the fall of 2007, the University of Waterloo will be offering prospective students a chance to study aviation in both the faculty of environmental studies and the faculty of science. One of the degrees, a bachelor of environmental studies degree in geography and aviation, will teach students how to interpret weather patterns, identify land formations, read multi-layer maps and utilize a range of technical programs. The other program, a bachelor of science degree in science and aviation, will allow students to specialize in either physics or earth science, both of which include an ardent science and technology base for a distinctive variety of careers in the aviation industry. Both four-year programs were created in a partnership with the Waterloo-Wellington Flight Centre and will welcome their inaugural classes in the fall of 2007. Morton Globus, professor emeritus in the faculty of science and aviation program co-ordinator, said “it’s hard to tell with a brand new program how

many students to expect but we are hoping for 15 students and after that 25 students a year.” When asked what prompted UW to develop this unique idea, Richard Vollans, a co-ordinator in the faculty of science, explained that “a need has been identified in the industry for pilots and people who can specialize in certain fields. The only



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way to evolve is to provide a program like this and establish the future of aviation.” Students interested in the programs will need to complete a large list of high school requirements in order to be considered. For the geography and aviation degree, students will need a Grade 12 university-level English credit, a university-level math credit, a Grade 12 earth and space science credit, and three additional university-level or university/college-level courses. The science and aviation program also requires aGrade 12 university-level English credit, but students interested in

the program will also need to have taken advanced functions and introductory calculus, and any two university-level courses in science, which includes physics, earth and space sciences, geometry, discrete mathematics, mathematics of data management, chemistry and biology. The program will be a regular four-year degree that will cost $25,000 in tuition fees. In addition, flight training is expected to cost approximately $50,000, according to Globus. This fee w i l l provide s t u dents w i t h both their commercial and private airplane licences, as well as pay for items such as textbooks and flight headsets. Globus stated that, “flight training is becoming a requirement for many aviation and aerospace careers and an aviation degree is quickly becoming a requirement for commercial pilots. “The field of aviation is very vast and diverse [and] a huge number of employers will certainly welcome students with comprensive understanding of math and science as well as aviation skills,” Globus concluded. “Analytical and critical thinking are also valuable skills that employers will look for.”

to leave country Continued from cover

Feds is looking at drafting a letter that proves Manolo is a student at UW, which would prove he has roots in Canada. This letter will also mention that he is a co-op student who has been working in Canada therefore creating more roots. Feds is hoping that the university will sign this letter and will send it to Immigration Canada in hopes they let Manolo back into the country. Currently, Rosales and his brother are being held in a facility in New York, while his mother is being held in another facility also in New York. Rosales has a second brother who is still in Canada but only because his wife is pregnant and her pregnancy is considered high risk. Once the child is born, they, too, will be deported. Friends of the family disagree that the Rosales’ have not made roots in Canada. Gurpreet Randhawa who has known the Rosales’ since they came to Canada said, “They have lived in Canada for five years, have jobs here and Rosales is in his third year at Waterloo. How are those not roots?” Rosales’ father and eldest brother were both working as truck drivers and his mother was making extra money working in a factory. Robin Rosales, the brother in detention with Rosales, was working as a layout engineer before being deported. Immigrations Canada considers Guatemala safe to return to since the family has made

trips back and forth to the country in the past. Recently, Rosales’ father went to visit his sick mother and ended up being kidnapped and beaten. He fled Guatemala and according to family friends was last known to be in Mexico. UW president Johnston was not available to provide a comment. Local MP Andrew Telegdi said that this problem goes deeper and is very controversial. According to Telegdi, the previous government was working on the deportation of undocumented workers. The government suggested that there should be a halt on that because, if all the undocumented workers were actually deported, Canada would suffer a severe recession. Instead, it was suggested that the focus should be put on deporting criminals. The previous government agreed on this; however, when the new government came into power,these suggestions were ignored and the deportation of undocumented workers was continued. “Essentially, [the Rosales] fit the category [of undocumented workers] and should not have been deported.” Telegdi said. “However, they are not the only ones.” According to Telegdi, the problem lies with the fact that “the current Minister of Citizenship and Immigration knew nothing about immigration when he accepted the portfolio and neither does his secretary.”


Writing that really Schmecks

I’ll bet Edna Staebler never had writer’s block. The prolific writer, famous first for her humanistic profiles of ordinary people in ordinary settings and second for her Schmecks cookbooks of Mennonite cooking, died earlier this week in her 101st year. Though she graduated from the University of Toronto with an arts degree and had a passion for writing early on, she was pressured to do otherwise. As she wrote in her book, Whatever Happened to Maggie and other people I’ve known, her mother and husband were not supportive: “Why waste your time?” her mother asked, “You’re not a real writer, you have to have talent.” Her husband urged her to stop thinking about herself as a writer, “You’re not a writer until you’ve had something published.” Her first long piece “Duellists of the Deep,” about swordfishermen in Cape Breton, was published in Maclean’s in July 1948. Even more than 50 years after it was written, the writing remains lively and fresh. That, and subsequent pieces, won Staebler early accolades and she never looked back. Pierre Berton, who wrote the foreword to her collected writings, was in awe of her writing: “Most writers remain dispassionate; they observe; they absorb; they write. Edna does more; she becomes part of the narrative. She lives the lives of the people she writes about; she listens to their problems and they become her friends ­— not just for the moment but forever.” In some respects you might consider that she was an embedded journalist. Her modus operandi was

to live in a community, preferably with a family rather than in a motel, and write about what she saw. Staebler was chastised by a fellow journalist for doing more than just asking questions when she wrote a story. As she explained in her afterword, “For me it presupposed too much, [to simply ask questions] merely got answers to something already half-known; there was no place for surprises and all those delightful things that happen when you become friends with people, and they are natural in your presence and you learn from them by living their lives with them until you feel you have assimilated enough to write an understanding piece about them.” Among her colleagues Staebler included Pierre Berton, W.O. Mitchell and Farley Mowat. Over 20 years ago Staebler also helped found The New Quarterly, along with Mowat and Harold Horwood. The New Quarterly is a literary magazine that operates out of St. Jerome’s University. Next month the magazine is hosting the Edna Staebler Golf Classic in her honour at the Grey Silo Golf Course. Editor Kim Jernigan said that it had been hoped that Staebler could have made an appearance. Staebler’s legacy will live on. In 1990, she established the Edna Staebler Award for Non-Fiction, administered by WLU, and in 1994 the Joseph Schneider House established the Edna Staebler Research Fellowship. If anything, people will be enjoying her cookbooks for generations to come. The best advice that all writers should keep at hand are these final words from her book, Whatever Happened to Maggie: “And when it is written, and edited, and published, there might still be mistakes, hurt feelings and regrets. But you can always hope that the story may have done something to increase someone’s understanding — perhaps only your own. Amen.”

FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

Ontario faces tuition fee hike Angelo Florendo staff reporter

University students are finally beginning to feel the effects of Ontario’s restructured tuition framework. Announced earlier this March, the provincial government’s alterations included increased government funding and the creation of the Higher Education Quality Council of Ontario (HEQCO), an organization commissioned by the government to evaluate universities’ overall performance. Of higher importance to the students — as well as their wallets — was the removal of the tuition cap which allows universities to raise tuition fees without ceiling restrictions. There are still several rules regarding increase limitations, however, including: tuition fees may be increased by a maximum of five per cent at any given post-secondary institution, with subsequent annual increases of four per cent. Graduate programs and other specific programs may increase by a maximum of eight per cent, but only if the overall increase within a given university remains b­­elow the five per cent boundary. According to Statistics Canada, tuition fees across the province have seen a 4.6 per cent rise, demonstrating that universities in Ontario have stuck close to the five per cent maximum. Some lucky university students, such as those enrolled in graduate programs at Queens’ or Waterloo’s nanotechnology program, have not had their tuition fees increase at all. These cases are atypical as outside of the nanotechnology program, UW’s tuition fees have seen significant increases across the board.

According to VP education Jeff Henry, the university’s overall tuition fees increased at the provincial average of 4.6 per cent, while professional and unregulated programs rose to eight per cent — the maximum increase allowed. For the majority of undergraduate students, this has translated to an additional $175 per term. Frosh enrolled in unregulated programs such as engineering, computer science and chartered accountancy will unfortunately be affected to a greater degree. “For those students entering firstyear in engineering and computer science, the hit will be about $560,” said Henry. The cost increases in tuition, along with mainstay university expenses such as books and meal plans have some fearing that UW cannot keep up with their students’ financial needs. Though the university continually stands by its claim that “No student will be denied higher education for financial reasons,” Henr y believes the motto is “misleading. What they really say on paper is that they will meet a student’s OSAP unmet need — that is, they will provide bursaries for the difference between what OSAP calculates you need and what OSAP gives you.” These questions of increased student debt also raise concerns about where the money from the new, more expensive tuition will

be applied. “UW spent $11,792,137 on bursaries to undergraduates last year despite only taking in $10,237,000 in set-aside funds,” said Henry. “Already, the need is outstripping the funding.” There are concerns that instead of increasing the quality of education, some Ontario universities such as UW will simply apply the money in an attempt to alleviate their own debt. “Students are unlikely to benefit positively from this increase overall,” said Henry. “UW would argue the [tuition] increase has only let them tread water in terms of quality,” he added. This fact points to the possibility that funding may be applied to student aid initiatives, yet Henry notes, “The university is also not setting aside any of the money from these increases to cover needs-based bursaries.” The McGuinty-lead Ontario government hopes that textbook tax credits and increased government funding, which are also included in their restructured tuition framework, will alleviate some of the impact that rising tuitions have brought. “Considering that residence fees also jumped this year,” notes Henry, “another dent has certainly been made.”

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FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

Fall decisions for Imprint

Michael L. Davenport

The new staff of Imprint hard at work on this week’s issue. Amy Brooks imprint intern

Volunteers, staff and editor-in-chief all sat around the table ready and waiting to begin the impending meeting. Tim Alamenciak, the editor-in-chief and chair for the meeting, kicked off the proceedings with the announcement of two jobs at Imprint. A volunteer co-ordinator position and a sales assistant role were the two vacancies. The first position to be elected was the assistant editor-in-chief. Two people were in the running for this: Suzanne Gardner, who has been lead proofreader and a major source of help and ideas around Imprint, and Sarah Allmendinger whom has previously held five section editor roles, as well as a position on the board of directors. The debate was tabled until Gardner arrived and could relay her speech to the group. After many questions, a motion was passed to accept Gardner as assistant editor. Next on the agenda was the cover editor position. Three people applied: Paul Marchwica, a consistent proofreader, Anya Lomako, a first year with extensive previous experience from high school, and Dinh Nguyen, another first year who was enthusiastic about getting involved at Imprint. After much deliberation Lamako was elected cover editor. Former arts editor Margaret Clark re-applied for her previous position. Clark was quickly re-instated in her role as arts editor. Following the arts editor, the assistant arts editor post was up for grabs. Four people in total wanted this much sought-after position: Ozgur Demirtas, Tiffany Li, Emma Tarswell and Dinh Nguyen. After

the four applicants were questioned, a discussion ensued before a motion was passed to elect Nguyen as assistant arts editor. Ashley Csanady stood for news editor and was unchallenged. Having previously held the position in the summer term, she will continue her role as news editor. There were no applicants for assistant news editor, assistant opinion editor, sports editor, photo editor, web editor, assistant systems administrator or graphics editor. Paul Marchwica who previously ran for the cover editor role, decided to run for the opinion editor position uncontested and was voted in soon after. Next was the features editor position. Kinga Jakab, who was features editor last term, spoke of her enjoyment in her role and the future of the features section. Jakab was re-elected with no opposition. The features assistant opening appeared after with two candidates: Julian Nam and Ellen Ewart. Both were experienced and had clear ideas of what they wanted to achieve and how they would do so. Ewart was later voted in as features assistant. After running uncontested, returning science editor Rob Blom was re-elected for his third term. The assistant science editor position was tackled by Stephanie Anderson: a biology student who will bring a new dimension to the science pages as Blom is a math student. Assistant sports editor was applied for by Shawn Bell who showed a keen interest in writing for the sports pages. He ran uncontested and was voted in by Imprint staff. A first timer at Imprint, he will be under the supervision of former sports editor Salim Eteer. Emma Tarswell, the previous assistant news editor, ran for the lead proofreader position and won.

Tiffany Li applied for the assistant photo editor role. Li, the resident recipe creator at Imprint, was accepted. Gautham Khanna ran for the systems administrator position. Last winter, Khanna acquired the same position and Imprint staff re-elected him for the fall term. Last but not least, Steven McEvoy ran for the assistant web editor role. Steve is a regular writer for Imprint and is an important influence around the office. He was not present for the voting because his wife was expected to be going into labour and give birth to a baby girl, but he was voted in. The meeting ended after a discussion about the future columns that would appear in Imprint. All the old favourites like Graham Barclay’s “Type-in-Stereo� and Shayna Sparling’s “Lovin in the ‘Loo� are still at Imprint. The new columns include TrishGarlands’ “Sustainable Steps� and a new sports column by Clive Peters. Mark Johnson’s “Extreme Centre� was declined its re-application. Appearing now is “Star Hammer�: a new comic strip by Jim Lee offering a satirical take on superheroes which will feature a continuous story line. After a long meeting, many positions were filled, opportunities were created and the future of Imprint was once again sealed — at least for the fall term. There are still several vacant positions available to students hoping to learn more about the world of journalism. If interested, you can come to the Imprint general staff meeting on Monday at 12:30 p.m. to apply.



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Friday, september 15, 2006 Opinion Editor: Paul Marchwica Opinion Assistant: Vacant

Friday, September 15, 2006 — Vol. 29, No. 9

Student plague spreading

Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 Editor-in-chief, Tim Alamenciak Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas General Manager, Catherine Bolger

Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Suzanne Gardner Cover Editor, Anya Lomako Photo Editor, vacant Assistant Photo Editor, Tiffany Li Graphics Editor, vacant Assistant Graphics Editor, vacant Web Editor, vacant Assistant Web Editor, Steven R. McEvoy Systems Administrator, Gautam Khanna Sys. Admin. Assistant, vacant Lead Proofreader, Emma Tarswell Proofreaders

Production Staff Veronique Lecat, Pete Watson, Kelvin Lam, Andre Ulloa, Christine Ogley, Adrienne Raw, Lu Jiang, Lara J. Vlach, Brian Fong, Kevin Moull, Steven R. McEvoy, Sarah Allmendinger, Emily Schooley, Tim Foster, Tom Levesque, Salim Eteer, Angelo Florendo Office Staff Distribution, Gillian Flanagan Distribution, Amy Pfaff

This fine month marks two special occasions: a flood of new intellect to UW, and a concerted effort on behalf of Waterloo Regional Police to target “unruly university students,” according to Frances Barrick’s article on the front page of The Record’s September 11 local section. That’s right — a force of police are patrolling the neighbourhoods around here, looking for well, you. A series of articles written by Barrick ran in The Record. It began with “In crackdown on keggers, plastic cup is a clue,” and followed up with 573 words of sensationalistic vomit titled “Parties too much for mom.” “Parties too much for mom” focuses on the ordeals of two residents of Albert St., Christine Carmody and Deborah Easson. Both live between University Ave. and Columbia St; both say are student-friendly. “The story of residents hating students is an old one. We feel the story [in The Record] kind of got spun that way,” began Easson when we talked on the phone Wednesday morning. Easson couldn’t stop talking, save for when she said “Am I giving too much information?” It’s a wonder that the interview with The Record was, as Easson said, short.

Carmody’s apprehensions were similar to Easson’s, “I’m concerned about that it [the story] might look like student bashing. We’re talking about a small minority that abuse substances.” “Christine and I are trying to say [residents hating students] is not the issue. We don’t hate students — we love students. I’m a distance ed student myself. My family has a history with the university,” said Easson. Easson has lived in her house on Albert St. most of her life. Her parents built it in 1958. She also currently provides accommodations for three Laurier students whom she described by saying, “I would gladly call them my daughters.” The issue, according to Easson, is only halfrelated to the student presence. For the other half, she cites inadequate patrols and charges by police. Barrick takes steps to prove this in her story, recounting the tale of Sgt. Steve Billings giving a high school student a “break” by not charging him with underage drinking. But Carmody strays from placing blame on bylaws and police officers, “They just don’t have the resources to sort this out.” That’s the story. Two residents frustrated with the situation — not student-haters. Where does this anti-student attitude come from, then? The sources are not aligned against all students; the area is relatively small and a minority of residents are causing problems. The trouble is, we never heard from anybody else. No students; be they rowdy or calm. The first story focused on the police patrol on one particular night. Barrick, a Record reporter since 1983, is the police beat reporter and rode in


the car with them. When asked if she consulted students on the story, she replied, “I did speak to the students that were nabbed by the police.” Interesting choice of subjects, I might say. Though none were included in the article, I imagine some fine quotes were gotten. The second piece was notably absent of any student commentary. According to Barrick, “Neither one are definitive pieces on student housing. My aim was not to cover all bases of the whole issue. There were many other parties I could have spoken to who I did not.” The aim of journalism is to report facts in a fair and balanced manner. It is here to perform a civic duty. Barrick took that aim and instead thought, “I’m going to tell… some… story… I guess.” Our telephone conversation was raucous. I kept asking her why she didn’t talk to students; “That is another story to be done another day. I was only covering one side of the issue,” was Barrick’s response. Another day wasn’t specified to me nor to the readership. The necessity of getting the whole story seems to have given way to the thought that it is acceptable to only cover one side of the issue and present that as though it is the full story. When people give their side of the issue, that’s called an editorial or an opinion piece. Reporting should be thorough and get all the facts. Beyond not talking to students, Barrick didn’t even have the occasion to mention that Easson accommodates three students herself. Nor did she get to the heart of the matter — enforcement. See RECORD, page 10

Ian Blechschmidt

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Pope Benedict’s war on social change misguided

Late last week, Pope Benedict met with a group of Ontario Bishops in the Vatican, and proceeded to lecture them, and Canada as a whole, on one of his favourite topics: homosexuality and same sex marriage. According to reports by the Associated Press, Pope Benedict said, “In the name of tolerance [Canada] has had to endure the folly of the redefinition of spouse and in the name of freedom of choice it is confronted with the daily destruction of unborn children,” while Catholic politicians are bending over backwards for “…ephemeral social trends and the spurious demands of opinion polls…” while ignoring their faith. His speech included the statement that Canada has removed “God from the public sphere.” These statements, of course, are a continuation of the Pope’s “War on Social Change,”

and more of the same general chatter that typically comes from the religious-fundamentalist right-wing of the American social and political spheres. Indeed, even his blatant jab at our elected officials is nothing new. Our elected leaders, while all have personal religious leanings of one stream or another, thankfully understand that while their religious inclinations may have an influence on their own personal lives, their duty to the public which they represent is to remain unbiased despite those influences. A politician’s duty is to stand for what is best for all of their constituents — not simply for those who follow their self-same religion. What is new, however, to the Pope’s usual repertoire, is the note that Canada, as a whole, has removed religion and the Divine from the public social sphere. Essentially, the Pope is now rallying not only against same sex marriage, but also the separation of Church and State. This is, needless to say, worrisome. If we were to listen to his suggestion and bring God into our public sphere, the inevitable and instant stumbling block would be: Whose god? Yours? Mine? Your next-door neighbour’s? I am certain that my God has no problem with who I am, who I love or how I love them.

Your God — well, you’d have to ask Her (or Him). My point is, following through on the Pope’s short-sighted proclamation would cause absolute chaos. Within such a multicultural nation as Canada it would be impossible to remove the line between church (altar/temple/ mosque/etc.) and state, as the moral guidance provided by every individual religion differs from nearly every other — and there is no rational way to justify promoting one religion over another. While the Pope has every right to dictate the proper course of action to the religion which he leads, that is where his cone of influence rightfully ends. Canada — as a secular nation — is no more beholden to the Pope then we are to the Dalai Lama. Thankfully, at least, the Dalai Lama realizes this. Perhaps the next time these bishops meet with the Pope, they should suggest to him that he ought to better understand the ways of the modern world, before he deign to try and give the rest of us input on how it should be run.

FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

Wild playboys


The doors of the infamous Playboy Mansion, that have been shut for 50 some odd years to the general public, are about to be flung open by a new tell-all book. Bunny Tales, written by former Hugh Hefner girlfriend, Kitchener native Izabelle St. James, will unleash their proverbial can of worms. Hugh Hefner is part celebrity, part icon and part myth. He is the living embodiment of male sexuality in the western world and the archetype of perennial bachelorhood. So what will happen when this cultural mainstay is jeopardized and a societal belief is challenged? Macleanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s magazine recently ran an article featuring St. James, an excerpt from the book and other naughty tales from within 10236 Charing Cross Road. Once the glamorous façade of the mansion was stripped away it appeared to be nothing more than an R-rated Neverland for a boy who never grew up. Anne King, who wrote the Macleanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s article, put it best when she wrote, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Like Oz, the wonder vanishes upon closer inspection.â&#x20AC;? Among other things, St. James explains how the girlfriends, while being allotted a $1,000 a week allowance were â&#x20AC;&#x153;tightly controlledâ&#x20AC;? and suffered â&#x20AC;&#x153;Survivor-like power strugglesâ&#x20AC;? between the girls. The most intriguing sections of St. Jamesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; writings, of course, were her accounts of the goings-on in Hefnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bedroom. This seemingly titillating subject â&#x20AC;&#x201D; who wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to know what goes on in Hugh Hefnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bedroom? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; proved to be more than a tad disappointing. Sex at the Playboy Mansion is strictly regulated, with the girls â&#x20AC;&#x201D; yes, plural â&#x20AC;&#x201D; being scheduled for when they are or are not allowed in the bedroom. While in his bedchamber, Hefnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ladies do have the option of keeping their panties on, but are encouraged to provide visual stimuli of all sorts while Hefner is being intimate with other women â&#x20AC;&#x201D; yes, plural. Ironically, according to St. James, the creator of Playboy always finishes manually and is, by the sounds of it, terrible in bed.

Another sexual icon of our time, Joe Francis, the creator of the Girls Gone Wild video series, has also been featured in a not-so-positive light in a recent L.A. Times article. The reporter, Claire Hoffman, details a night out with Francis in which it becomes clear that he, much like Hefner, is more image than substance. He seems to have problems with rage, women in general and â&#x20AC;&#x201D; from an account provided by a girl who appeared in one of his videos â&#x20AC;&#x201D; sounds as bad in bed as Hefner. Nonetheless, Francis is idolized just the same. Hounded by girls wherever he goes hoping to be the next to â&#x20AC;&#x153;go wildâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and not by visiting the African Lion Safari â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Francis is living what some may call a dream. Much like Hefner, men want to be him and women want to do him â&#x20AC;&#x201D; New York Times even touted him as a possible successor for Hugh â&#x20AC;&#x201D; but also like Hefner, he seems to be a little boy who never grew up. Hoffman, who visits his office with him, says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Francis looks more like a kid visiting his fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s office than the chief executive of his own company.â&#x20AC;? Both these men are living the â&#x20AC;&#x153;ultimate male pornographic fantasy,â&#x20AC;? but underneath the surface it appears to be little else. Hefner has literally created a harem for himself and Francis has managed to get girls to beg him to film them as they strip. While Hefner may have once been revolutionary in bringing sex to the mainstream, they are both stuck in a world where male sexuality comes first and women second â&#x20AC;&#x201D; or, not at all according to St. James. Both men claimed to have freed women in their sexuality. Hefner by allowing the â&#x20AC;&#x153;girl next doorâ&#x20AC;? to be seen as sexy and Francis by â&#x20AC;&#x153;liberatingâ&#x20AC;? women to express their sexuality; however, with either man, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never been about female sexuality. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always been about them living out their pre-pubescent masturbatory fantasies â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and, essentially, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what they both still are, little boys who have no idea what they are doing, but think they are God merely for doing it. Bunny Tales is in stores now and the article from the L.A. Times can be found at,0,2664370.story.


Record: students cast in a negative light Continued from page 8

There is a problem on Albert St. That problem will not be solved when the local media vilifies students and uses paragraphs like this one from the September 12 issue: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Large parties, with up to 23 kegs of beer, could supply hundreds of party-goers. Drunken students staggered out onto the busy street, vomiting, urinating and breaking beer bottles on the other properties. Students had sex in front of the neighboursâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; homes.â&#x20AC;? While these incidents were confirmed by the sources, they come from various incidents, not necessarily one specific orgy of student binging. Easson said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think the paper [â&#x20AC;Ś] was trying to spin it. To get some kind of story going and get some energy in it.â&#x20AC;? Barrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s level of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;spinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is not simply painting things in a certain light. She specifically does not contact accused parties, nor make mention of an attempt; a journal-

istic fubar tantamount to pooping on the coats. The Record occasionally recognizes the great contributions the universities and college make, but they are just as quick to forget. It seems that Barrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tales of public drinking, urination and omitted sources rank higher than a massive effort by students to fundraise for Cystic Fibrosis. Shinerama took place September 9 and earned such lofty coverage as a small photo (stock, from 2003) and a blurb in the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Around the Regionâ&#x20AC;? feature. You could not get a coffee without getting your windows washed (and damn well, mind you) anywhere in the city. But the problems of Albert St. take precedence? Clearly, Carmody and Easson are not the cause of the anti-student aura cast by The Recordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s series. Easson professed her love for students, but expressed the most frustration at the lack of enforcement. She enjoys the energy that students bring to the city, citing Princess Cinemas and the

numerous ethnic restaurants as things that wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t happen if we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have such a diverse climate. Barrick was just covering one side of the story. Covering it poorly, mind you, but at least she was making an attempt. Those on fat Torstar budgets should take care to remember that the area they serve is growing rapidly. Alumni from our universities and colleges are moving in permanently; student populations are growing; the city is expanding. Barrick is content to tell one side of the story â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the side that villifies students. A thorough job of reporting would seek to include all aspects of the story and provide a fair and balanced picture. At the very least, get the facts of a one-sided story straight. I sincerely hope that The Record can revise their reporting methods before further damage is done to the complex fabric of relationships we have in this community.


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FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

Facebook, news and you

So here I am, coping with the beast that is Frosh Week and I get this e-mail. “You have been invited to ‘People against the New Facebook System’ on Facebook.” Seems that group has a few members, so some people somewhere must not like it, but I hope by the end of this editorial you’ll agree it’s actually a really nifty thing, and most people’s opinions against it are unfounded. For those that don’t know, what the new Facebook system does is this: any time someone changes their profile in some way — changing relationship status, uploading photos, adding friends — you see it on a list on your own home page. Basically it is taking information that was already available to me and aggregating it. But goes the counter-argument, “This system is so much more stalkerish!” I have some unpleasant news for those people: the thing that those people are forgetting is that stalkers are obsessive fanatics. Your personal stalker had his or her web-browser pointed at your profile and was clicking “refresh” every five minutes anyway. The new system doesn’t help them very much. Who it does help is me, your over-worked and very busy friend (who has hundreds of people friended, and actually knows all those people). The true root of the problem was that people were turning “the number of friends one has on Facebook” into some sort of pissing contest, so those people found themselves suddenly airing their dirty laundry in front of people they’d rather not see it, but I digress. I like the new feature; the thing that irritated me was the uproar. “What’s next? Will Facebook tell everyone when I’ve taken a dump?” No, unless you tell it so. Change your online status to “taking a dump” and don’t be surprised if people notice. Ag ain, Facebook isn’t the NSA — they’re not tapping your phone lines hoping to glean any new information. The website is

repeating things you have already told them. The whole hubbub reminds me of a greater problem: people are generally unaware of how much information they are broadcasting all the time. For instance, my personal website keeps track of the pages people visit, their IP address, sometimes their web browser, and their referrer (how they got there). Is everyone aware that they are broadcasting this information wherever they go, all over the Internet? There are even corollaries in meatspace. If you see a guy skulking around with crazy hair and an unkempt beard in a trench coat, you know that guy is a hobo. Or maybe it’s just a harmless physicist. In either case, someone who is either too busy or doesn’t care to pay attention to personal hygiene. Or another case: ever know that two people are dating, or that someone has a thing for you, without anyone having to tell you anything? People are broadcasting information all the time. The new Facebook system is terribly useful for a person like me who doesn’t have a lot of time, but know hundreds of people and want to keep up. It’s not nearly as useful to stalkers who have a single point of fixation. Finally, I hope the irony isn’t lost on you that some people only joined the group because they saw that their friends joined the group…on their aggregate mini-feed. Now, Facebook has introduced new controls so that people can control what shows up on the minifeed. I like this too because more options are always good. But making information more obscure isn’t hiding it from the people you think you’re hiding it from — the obsessive will still find it. If there’s something you really don’t want some people to know, don’t put it on the fucking Internet. (Hint: If you don’t want “teh Internets” knowing about your relationship status, change it to “It’s complicated” and never touch it again.) Object lesson: Make sure your friends on Facebook, LiveJournal, etc. are actually your friends. If you really want to keep something private, the Internet is a terrible place to put it. — Michael L. Davenport

Layton wants Canada out of Afghanistan

It was with a great deal of concern that I learned of the New Democratic Party’s (NDP) new position that the Government of Canada should immediately implement a military withdrawal from Afghanistan in exchange for the development of a comprehensive peace process. Mr. Layton claims that it is impossible to launch a peace process whilst fighting those with whom you would like to build such a peace. Was this, however, ever the purpose of Canada’s mission to Afghanistan?

I do not believe it was ever the Government of Canada’s intention to begin a peace process with the terrorists who are committing atrocities daily with incomprehensible hatred. I seem to remember the idea of developing social and political infrastructure with the innocent citizens of Afghanistan, whilst protecting them from the vile cancer that continues to threaten its viability as a fledgling nation. Try as I may, I do not remember anything about the purpose of Canada’s mission to Afghanistan being one of negotiation with the very terrorists who have instigated this difficult war. The NDP’s upcoming policy convention just happens to be coming to Quebec, where support for the war is very low. See GOAL, page 12


FRIDAY, september 15, 2006


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To the editor, Frosh sure are different than they used to be. Today, as I was stopped at a light on University Avenue, I saw a bunch of engineering frosh walking down the street. I yelled out in my very loud football game voice “Who are you?” I got a whimper in response, and some excuses including “We’re tired.” Tired? They weren’t even dirty! In my frosh experience I crawled through a mud pit, had oatmeal poured on me from high above and was painted orange all over. Yet if someone asked “who are you,” we were able to respond at the top of our lungs! The times sure change. Hopefully these frosh will have great memories of their frosh week and that it is for them what they need it to be. — David Spira Chemical engineering alumnus

— Tina Edwards

University of Toronto cares about its Tamils

To the editor, Sri Lanka mired in terrorist trouble

To the editor, I wish to register my voice of protest at the allegations made by the speakers at the meeting on Sri Lanka held at the University of Toronto recently. The speakers have failed to mention that the Sri Lankan government is engaged in a terrorist war against the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) terror organization as the LTTE terrorists violated the territorial integrity of Sri Lanka. In addition to that, the LTTE blatantly violated the ceasefire agreement by taking over the sluice gates at Mavilaaru and depriving Muslim and Sinhala settlements of water. This was done in an attempt to ethnically cleanse the area of Muslim and Sinhala villagers who had been living there for generations. The speakers also failed to mention that the LTTE are intimidating the Tamil people in the north and east of Sri Lanka. The LTTE are not a democratically elected representative of the Tamils of Sri Lanka and neither are they the sole representatives of the Tamil people.


I wanted to thank you for your piece on “Silenced Voices Speak out on Sri Lanka.” I am a Canadian citizen and a student at the University of Waterloo and have been frustrated by the actions of the University of Waterloo admin and the Feds. I almost thought all student unions from all the universities behaved the same but after going to U of T’s “Silenced Voices speak out on Sri Lanka” I realized the University of Toronto truly does care about the voices of its students. I wish Feds too would organize such an event to unravel the happenings in Sri Lanka and educate the students at the University of Waterloo about the untold truths. Hopefully your article shed some light on the activities displayed by other student unions and I hope the UW student unions takes note.

— Sarujan Kanapathipillai Electrical engineering

WATSA’s commitment to diversity strong, despite arrests

To the editor, The Waterloo Tamil Students’ Association (WATSA) has been in operation as a club under the Federation of Students (Feds) since 1991. The organization aims to promote an understanding of Tamil heritage for all University of Waterloo (UW) students both Tamil and non-Tamil. Its primary objective is to maintain the strength of Tamil culture through student involvement in local events and international opportunities. WATSA is shocked to hear of the arrests of seven Canadian Tamil youth alleged to be involved in providing material support to the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE). WATSA and the Feds is even more shocked to find out that four of the seven accused were or are students at the University of Waterloo. Even though it is only accusations at this point and the truth would come tolight following a fair and just trial, we at the WATSA and the Feds would like to establish that the actions which these men have been accused of do not represent the objectives set forth by the WATSA or the Feds. The recent accusations and the media frenzy surrounding them have brought in a lot of negative publicity on WATSA. WATSA had hoped that in time, this would change, and the Canadian media would bring to light the atrocities committed against the minority Tamils in Sri Lanka by the government of that country. WATSA prides itself on being part of the Federation of Students and the UW community. WATSA is composed first and foremost of UW students and the good reputation of the university is very important to us. WATSA is working in full cooperation with the Feds and UW administration to overcome the stigma created by the current situation. We encourage new and past members to join WATSA and explore one of the many diverse clubs at the University of Waterloo. — Mario Pushparatnam WATSA president — Michelle Zakrison Feds president

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The Tamil people have suffered greatly at the hands of the LTTE who have killed, maimed and terrorised Tamil civilians into obedience. Not only in Sri Lanka but overseas too, the LTTE continue to intimidate the Tamil diaspora forcing them to give money and join in cultural activities which are fronts to raise money to procure weapons to commit terror against civilians. In addition to that, the LTTE have systematically murdered every democratically elected Tamil leader. They even murdered former Indian Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi. These speakers living in the safety of the west vociferously spout forth pro-LTTE propaganda without one word of sympathy to the thousands of Tamils who can’t escape the evil clutches of the LTTE. Please do not be oblivious to the fact that the LTTE is a terrorist organisation who are subjecting the Tamil people to a regime of totalitarian dictatorship rule with no recourse to freedom or democracy.

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Goal: a free Afghanistan

Lesson one — make the first decision

You know what? It’s a good thing to feel good! What is happening in all of our lives right now? We are changing. We are making choices every single day and we are trying to feel good. Some have come to school for their first year and don’t know a thing about other cultures; some have never had to set their alarm clock for different times on different days because of a warped school schedule. For many of us, this year will put us at a very different place in our lives when all is said and done. Though you may not expect many of the situations that are ahead of you, just know if you try to be the greatest person you can be, you will feel the best you can. So now let’s think about the full realm of student life. Think about those days when you’re in the SLC and you don’t know where to go in your spare hour between classes. You might ask yourself, “What the hell can I be doing right now?” Go and talk to someone! After university, you will look back and realize that the most important development you have made

is in communication. Communicate with people! Communicate with all sorts of people: profs, classmates, cleaning staff, your residence house moms, anyone! All of these experiences will help shape your future. All it takes is a simple hello. It is my belief that no one here at the University of Waterloo is here to hurt your feelings or put you down. In fact, they are here for the exact opposite reason. The people around you are all here for very similar reasons: to start a life, to get ahead of the pack, to find their passions and to learn. So enjoy knowing that anyone you are interested in speaking with will most likely have a story or two to share, some wisdom to shed or a smile to put on your face. It’s all about making that first decision — it’s usually that first decision that is the hardest. After that decision is made, everything else seems like a breeze. If you don’t believe me, try it out for yourself. The next time you want to go bowling, watch a movie or go to a concert in Toronto, just make that first decision to get up and do it. Call the bowling alley and figure out the prices or grab a friend to go rent a movie with and buy those damn concert tickets! And don’t just buy one if you can afford two, as I can almost guarantee you someone out there in the lands of the Village student residences or

FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

MSN will want to join you and pay for that extra ticket. Here’s one more amazing way to feel good. Go and visit the Waterloo Park Petting Zoo and small pond area. It is located just off Seagram behind UWP and it is fantastic. Take a couple of carrots and walk around feeding the llamas, goats, rabbits, ducks and swans while you still have the chance. If you want to make the two pigs they keep there really happy, bring them some chow mein! They love chow mein. Go with a friend, with a significant other or all by your lonesome. It is a perfect way to enjoy the outdoors before it gets too cold without venturing too far outside of Waterloo. Most importantly, animals make almost all of us feel good in some way! They’re just so damn cute! If there’s ever a time when you feel like you have had a bad day or you really don’t know what to do with yourself, use these few words as inspiration for the days to come. It is tough to get up sometimes when you might feel like there’s nothing in your schedule that you actually feel like doing that day. Just remember that there are plenty of us all around you who, at times, feel the exact same way. Best of luck for the new school year! — Russel Cole

Continued from page 10

Incidentally, the NDP also need to make inroads in Quebec to become a realistic national alternative to the Liberal Party. In exchange for its political credibility, what else does the New Democratic Party hope to gain besides, if things go according to plan, a few more protest votes in “la belle province?” What message would the Government of Canada be sending to our fellow global citizens should it begin to divest itself of this most important military and political commitment? Canada would be putting up a sign on Parliament Hill that reads: “Will negotiate with terrorists … but only if you’re violent, persistent and savvy enough.” Yes, Mr. Layton, this sounds like a winning strategy. But of course, none of this matters much. The NDP is not looking to form a government. The New Democratic Party’s left to centreleft base of support will likely not be offended by this new position, and the NDP feels it stands only to gain in Quebec by articulating such a startlingly short-sighted vision. This may even prove to be a good move for the NDP in the short term as it may serve to further solidify its base of support and make inroads in Quebec. But this kind of move speaks volumes of the NDP’s belief in its own future. By further entrenching itself on the clear left wing of

The Student Life Office and Office of Alumni Affairs are currently recruiting student liaisons for the inaugural GradFest celebration. The Job: Reporting to Karyn Nelson and Heather FitzGerald, Student Life Office, and Chantel Franklin, Office of Alumni Affairs, the GradFest Liaisons will work to identify, develop and execute important elements of the GradFest celebration on behalf of the 2007 graduating class. GradFest Liaisons will: x Identify social and academic needs of the 2007 graduating class x Develop a GradFest program proposal x Liaise with members of the graduating class and university administration x Execute approved program plans for GradFest The Requirements: Successful candidates must be full-time registered undergraduate or graduate students (including co-op) in good academic standing. Must be on-campus both the Fall 06 and Winter 07 terms, and intend to graduate in Spring or Fall 07. Candidates must have excellent oral and written communication skills. The Benefits: Gain essential program and event management skills while helping both yourself and the class of 2007 through its final year at UW. Learn everything you need to know about “Real Life” after graduation. Interested applicants are asked to submit their resume with accompanying cover letter to the Office of Alumni Affairs – Attention: Chantel by Friday, September 29, 2006 For further information contact: Chantel Franklin, Alumni Officer Office of Alumni Affairs, South Campus Hall 519 888 4567 ext. 36225


In Theatres September 15

the political spectrum, the NDP is looking merely to survive as an official federal party. Jack Layton is exploiting issues on which he cannot possibly deliver, in hope that more of us will listen when he speaks to other political goals. Moreover, the NDP, still a fringe party in Canada, knows full well it can say whatsoever it chooses, for Canadians do not consider them a realistic governing alternative. Until then, let the good times roll, eh Jack? Let hollow partisanship abound. Left and centre-left parties never fail to raise the social dimension of conflicts; the construction of social infrastructure and the recognition of human rights, most importantly. And this is a good thing. For war must not ever be seen as an end in itself. The goal is neither to fight the terrorists nor defeat them. The goal is securing a free and democratic Afghanistan, which recognises the dignity of its citizens and affirms the rule of law. Fighting and defeating terrorists, however, is part of the strategy to achieve this goal. Paired with due concern for the establishment of human rights — respecting institutions and the need to address the intolerable effects of cyclical poverty, battling the region’s terrorists until they are sufficiently subdued, on our terms and on the terms of decent Afghani innocents, is essential. — Matthew Bondy


FRIDAY, september 15, 2006


Smoking minority should be protected from the oppressive majority

Smoking “experts” on campus are lauding the new province-wide smoking restrictions. Frankly, I’m disgusted. How can these people call themselves smoking “experts” when they don’t even smoke? Paul McDonald, who codirects the Population Health Research Group at UW calls the Orwellian-like control the government is imposing on its people “long overdue.” Paul McDonald hates freedom. Government intervention is a slippery slope

and if we aren’t careful, there will be a day when the government will just sit in your living room and complain about every little thing you do. Berating you with criticisms like “Don’t smoke in here,” “Why don’t you get a job?” or “How are you ever going to get a girlfriend when what you do all day is lay around the house eating Cheetos and playing Xbox?” Goddamn government, why don’t you just leave me alone? When I’m old enough, I’m totally moving out. All right, I’ll agree that smoking isn’t going to be in the Olympics any time soon. It smells bad to most, yellows teeth, shortens life spans and even kills people who don’t smoke. All this is just meant to distract from the main point of the matter, however, which is that it is way cool. Smoking is not unlike

everything else that is inherently chic. It’s a well-known fact that things people do to look suave are almost always detrimental to their health. Wouldn’t it be cool to be a professional athlete? Hell yeah, but you can be sure that it is going to affect your health negatively. Sure, taking up an activity like cycling will improve your physical fitness and increase life expectancy, but I am talking about the exciting sports like boxing, football, and cock fighting. All of these sports are notoriously bad for you, but simultaneously stylish. With a voguish predisposition, members of the opposite sex flock to you and you are thus privy to promiscuous sex with near and total strangers. Television says so. As wonderful as this is, it will probably result in the transmission of STDs, which I hear are terrible

for your health. Not that I would know, I’m just giving an example. Seriously, the tests came back and the doctor said it was completely curable. Thus smoking is just a symptom of being cool, which is really what will kill you in the end. Oxygenazis are always complaining about smokers, but you never see us complaining about non-smokers. I am constantly hearing things like “Can you stop blowing that in my face” or “Stop flicking your ashes in my hair” or “Please don’t put your cigarettes out on my child.” Everywhere I go squares are trying to force their loser uptight beliefs on me just because of how it affects them. It’s a free country, not some geekocracy. If you have an issue with my lifestyle, you and your little nerd



buddies can just run along and play your Dungeons and Dragons in your carcinogen-free spaz lair. People are forgetting that there are those out there that actually enjoy the smell of cigarette smoke. Sure we may be a minority, but aren’t we who the Supreme Court of Canada is supposed to protect? The Canadian majority has pushed around the little guy — literally the little guy, probably a stunted growth caused by early age smoking — for too long. Its time we stand up — wait for that lightheaded feeling to go away — and fight back against the oppressive tide of the popular majority. I’m Brendan Pinto and I’m single, so tell your friends.

Jim Lee


Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Extend-A-Family part-time positions – providing in-home and community support to individuals with developmental/physical challenges in a variety of programs. Providers will be reliable, energetic and committed. $10.40/hour to start. If interested, please contact Recruitment at 519-741-0190, ext 238 or via e-mail at Web – www. Angie’s Kitchen at 47 Erb Street, W., Waterloo is needing line cooks and wait staff for weekends and some evenings. Drop in or call 519-8862540. Part-time driver/warehouse person required. Flexible hours, some heavy lifting required. Send resume to Tom Greggain, The Sherwin Williams Co., 572 Weber Street, N., Waterloo, ON, N2L 5C6. 519-725-9120 or Part-time employment available starting in September. Fun, games, sports and crafts with after-school children at Laurelwood Public School. Only a short walk from the University. Interested persons should leave a message at 519-741-8997. Gain experience in high tech sales/ marketing! Uptown Waterloo - $11 hourly + bonus. Virtual Causeway is recruiting high energy students who have the motivation, desire and drive to be successful. Ideal candidates are responsible, have excellent communication and problem-solving skills

and are eager to work. Send your resume to today. For more information about the marketing services representative position, please visit Must be available to work a minium of 15 hours per week. – full time hours are available. Excellent student work opportunity! The Survey Research Centre (SRC) here at UW is currently seeking part-time telephone interviewers. The SRC is an on-campus research centre that offers a variety of survey services. Telephone interviewers are responsible for conducting qualityoriented interviews and performing other administrative tasks. Must be fluent in English and have a clear, strong speaking voice and excellent communication skills. Experience in telephone work, data entry, or customer service is helpful but not required. Ability to speak French fluently is an asset. 10-12 hours per week required, mainly evenings and weekends. Starting wage is $11.50 an hour. Send resume to Lindsey Skromeda at lmskrome@artsmail. or phone 519-888-4567, ext 36689. Child care – looking for child care in our home, Benjamin Park area, three afternoons a week, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Please contact Lori at 519-886-1738. Personal care attendant needed for a 44 year old man disabled with multiple sclerosis. Some cae giving experience an asset. Weekend work. For info please call 519-584-7732 or 519-883-0641.

Campus Bulletin



Two office items for sale – Xerox 5614 b/w desktop model photocopier for sale. Great for home office or small workgroup office. Reduces and enlarges. Two paper trays and a bypass tray, 14 copies/minute, four spare toners included in price. Photocopier needs its paper feeder fixed. $650 cash or cheque. Toshiba TF231 fax machine in excellent working condition – great for home office or small workgroup office. Uses thermal roll paper, one-touch and abbreviated dialing, automatic and manual reception modes, automatic and manual redialling, easy operation, copying and polling features, transmission reports and security transmission. Six 98’ paper rolls included, $100 cash/cheque. View both items at Imprint SLC room 1116 or call 519-888-4048. Two single beds with box springs, mattresses and sheets. Mattresses like new. $100 each – will deliver. Call 519-745-5583.

Proofreading – editing: Assignments, theses, letters, statements. We correct grammar and improve logic and flow. Onscreen, fast, professional. 30 years experience. Full details at www. E-mail checkedit@ Phone (905) 335-3192. Violin lessons – experienced teacher and K-W Symphny violinist accepting new students. Beginners and adults welcome. 519-745-4492. J&A Airbrush, 84 Queen Street, S., Kitchener, 519-342-3147 or Pottery classes – hand-building for students and staff or all ages. New fall schedule. Painting kits available.


St. Bede’s chapel at Renison College offers worship on Sundays at 10:30 a.m. or take a break mid-week with a brief silence followed by Celtic noon prayers on Wednesdays. For more info call 519-884-4404, ext 28604 or

Premium three-bedroom townhouse unit in a professionally managed student complex. Perfect for students, close to UW campus. Available May and September 2006. Call Perry now at 519-746-1411 for all the details and to set up a showing. Ask us about your signing bonus and gifts! Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conveniently and comfortably right across the street from school in this beautifully renovated apartment. Four, eight and 12-month leases available with excellent signing bonuses and rental incentives! Call Perry at 519746-1411 for more details.



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UPCOMING Sunday, September 17, 2006 Local Motion – car free week – fourth annual Car-Free Day Festival will be held in Victoria Park 12-5 p.m. and on Thursday, September 21 from 12-2 p.m. at UW. Local Motion is a celebration of sustainable transportation. Monday, September 25, 2006 Alzheimer Society annual general meeting is from 12 to 2 p.m. For info call 742-1422, ext 15. Tuesday, September 26, 2006 Woodland caribou in Ontrio may be on the road to extinction. Come learn the untold story and how you can help save this iconic Canadian species at the Kitchener Public Library at 7 p.m. and at noon at UW, ES1 courtyard. For more info www. Saturday, September 30, 2006 Amanda’s Cruise for Juvenile Arthirits will take place for the second year at noon in Cambridge at Shade’s Mills Conservation Area. BBQ, draws, prizes, music - lots of fun!! For info call 519-576-8764 or

FINANCIAL AID Fall 2006 Student loan pickup schedule September: Fri., Sept. 15 - open to all students. Starting the week of Sept. 18, all students who have not yet picked up their loan documents are welcome. All documentation must have student’s name, SIN and to the attention of Elena Tabong. All letters must be original, signed and dated. No faxed or scanned copies will be accepted.


Features Imprint

Friday, september 15, 2006 Features Editor: Kinga Jakab Features Assistant: Ellen Ewart

New activities to inspire and inform St. Jerome’s commences lectures on racism, human rights, sexism, poverty, global ecological issues and weaponry. Steven R. McEvoy staff reporter

Every year on campus there is a plethora of activities to partake in — some just for entertainment, some for learning and some for physical activity. This year is no different. Each of the four church colleges has different areas of expertise, both in and out of the classroom. This year, for the first time, the St. Jerome’s Centre for Catholic Experience is hosting an exceptional range of speakers on the issues of social justice. Yet that is not the only change taking place this year. The Centre also has a new chair. Dr. Megan Shore is leading the charge in tackling these issues. Shore, in a recent press release stated: “What is our best kept secret? No, it is not the Da Vinci code. It is our Catholic social teaching!” He cited a history of social reform, going back to Pope Leo XIII’s 1891 encyclical Rerum Novarum (On the Condition of Labour). The church has a

long distinguished history of Catholic Social Teaching or CST. The church tackles such issues as international development, racism, human rights abuses, sexism, poverty, global ecological issues and weapons of mass destruction. The ‘Justice’ series this year will look at many of those issues through a contemporary Catholic lens. This series comprises eight lectures, a day conference and even a book launch. The lectures on CST will be from speakers near and far, from St. Jerome’s own David Seljak speaking on Ethnic Diversity and Christian Unity to Archbishop Weisgerber of Saskatoon speaking on Bridging the Gap: Reaching beyond our social difference. Each of the nine speakers is an expert in their field and bring years of experience and practical work to each lecture. These lectures are cosponsored by many organizations and groups in our community and further abroad. CBC Radio One will attend in January to record Dr. Adele Reinhartz

lecture on Jesus of Hollywood to air later as part of the CBC’s Ideas program. Another sponsored lecture is The John Sweeney Lectures in Current Issues in Healthcare, a lecture by Katherine Rouleau, MD. Speaking on HIV/AIDS from a Canadian Catholic Perspective, Rouleau has served as advisor to Malawi and is a staff physician and researcher at St. Michael’s Hospital at the University of Toronto. This lecture is sponsored annually by St. Mary’s General Hospital in Kitchener. The first lecture is Globalization and Catholic Social Thought: Present Crisis, Future Hope by William F. Ryan S.J., PhD. This will be held on September 22 at 7:30 p.m. in Sigfried Hall. Ryan will be speaking about how globalization affects economics, politics, ecology, culture and how CST interacts with these complicated issues especially as we move forward into the 21st century. On a personal note, having attended many of these lectures over the past few years, I can say that they are worth the time and effort to attend as they are informative, encouraging and often challenging to one’s world views and preconceived notions about Catholicism. Come across the creek from main campus and check out a lecture or two. Come and see where Dr. Shore is guiding the SJU Centre, this year and into the future. The complete listing of the lectures is available at

Keeping yourself clean is easier than you think Regular douching is a common misconception among sexually active young women

I recently received an e-mail from a reader asking if douches are a good idea to use after sex. A douche is a way of cleaning the inside of the vagina by squirting water and other fluids like vinegar or antiseptics inside to flush it out. You can find douche kits in pharmacies and many grocery stores, but really how useful are they? And should people be using them at all? Douching has been practised for centuries; it reportedly goes back to the time of Hippocrates, when people didn’t know a whole lot about female anatomy and there weren’t many medications or antibiotics available. Douching was done only when it was absolutely necessary to clean out the vaginal cavity. But for some

reason, douching ended up becoming a fairly common practice among many groups of women. Today about 37 per cent of women in the U.S. douche and half of these do so at least once a week. Women use douches for various reasons. To wash away menstrual blood, to reduce perceived vaginal odours, to “feel clean” and some even use it after sex as birth control and to avoid catching an STI (sexually transmitted infection); however, a douche is not an effective contraceptive and will not protect you from infection. Studies show that women who douche actually end up with more health problems than women who do not. For example, women who douche have greater than 73 per cent chance of getting PID, pelvic inflammatory disease, a bacterial infection in the reproductive organs. PID can lead to infertility, problems during pregnancy, and ectopic pregnancies (where the baby starts growing in the fallopian tubes). Women who douche once a week are

83 per cent more likely to contract cervical cancer. Women who douche regularly are also more likely to suffer vaginal irritations, bacterial infections, and are actually more at risk for catching STI’s. In addition, using a douche after sex is actually more likely to push se-

It is constantly producing mucus and this mucus lining is constantly moving — your vagina is like an iceberg. men into the uterus, increasing your chances of pregnancy — so much for using it as birth control. A douche also won’t “cure” vaginal odours, if anything it might only mask them temporarily.

A healthy vagina should have a slight musky odour — it shouldn’t smell like flowers or rain! But if you do think that something is wrong with your smell, or if it smells fishy or pasty then you should go see your doctor. Doctors and nurses today advise against the use of a douche, though very rarely your doctor might prescribe it to treat certain conditions. Your vagina has a lot of important processes going on inside of it. There are friendly bacteria living in your vagina; these bacteria are very important and protect your vagina from other infections. It gives off a natural form of hydrogen peroxide, which keeps the pH of the vagina more acidic, in turn guarding you from the invasion of other, more destructive bacteria. The friendly bacteria in your vagina also keep the yeast cells in your vagina under control. If the bacteria dies off (which can easily happen) the yeast cells can start to multiply, giving you a yeast infection. Douching can also abrade the deli-

cate tissue of your vagina, causing irritations and making it easier for things like infectious bacteria and STIs to get inside your bloodstream. Your vagina doesn’t need a douche to keep itself clean; it does just fine on its own. It is constantly producing mucus and this mucus lining is constantly moving — your vagina is like an iceberg. All day and night the mucus lining of your vagina slowly flows towards the outside, pulling with it anything else that might be inside: dead cells, semen, blood, and other tiny particles that may have gotten inside. So in answer to my reader’s question: no, you should not be using a douche after sex or under any circumstance, unless your doctor prescribes it. Just let your vagina do its own thing and grab a box of tissues or a warm washcloth for cleaning up externally after sex. For more fun, check out my archives at http://lovinblg.blogspot. com/


FRIDAY, September 15, 2006


Survival tips from a recent graduate As you begin your university experience, and I prepare for my convocation, I thought I’d leave you with the things that, in retrospect, I think are important as you navigate the next four years. 1. Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them. 2. Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes. 3. In university, more than ever before, songs will attach themselves to memories. Every month or two, make a mix cd, mp3 folder, whatever — just make sure you keep copies of these songs. Ten years out, they’ll be as effective as a journal in taking you back to your favourite moments. 4. Take naps in the middle of the afternoon with reckless abandon. 5. At least a few times in your university career, do something fun and irresponsible when you should be studying. 6. Become friends with your favourite professors. Recognize that they can learn from you, too — in fact, that’s part of the reason they chose to be professors. 7. Go on dates. Don’t feel like every date has to turn into a relationship. 8. Don’t date someone your roommate has been in a relationship with. 9. In the first month of school, send a hand-written letter to someone who made university possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now and it will mean a lot to you in 10 years when he/she shows it to you. 10. Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always be asking yourself, “what can I learn from this person?” More of your education will come from this than from any classroom. 11. For those of you who have come to university in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school, despite what many will tell you, it can work. The key is to not let your relationship interfere with your university experience. If you don’t want to date anyone else, that’s totally fine! What’s not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you’re on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day. 12. Working things out between friends is best done in person, not over email. (MSN does not count as “in person.”) 13. Don’t be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. The thrill is over in about two seconds. 14. Welcome failure into your lives. It’s how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you recovered. 15. Take some classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it. 16. Don’t be afraid to fall in love. When it happens, don’t take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don’t let it define your university experience. 17. Much of the time you once had for pleasure reading is going to disappear. Keep a list of the books you would have read had you had the time, so that you can start reading them when you graduate.

18. Things that seem like the end of the world really do become funny with a little time and distance. 19. No matter what your political or religious beliefs, be open-minded. You’re going to be challenged over the next four years in ways you can’t imagine, across all fronts. You can’t learn if you’re closed off. 20. If you need to get a job, find something that you actually enjoy. Just because it’s work doesn’t mean it has to suck. 21. Take a lot of pictures. One of my major regrets in life is that I didn’t take more pictures in university. 22. Your health and safety are more important than anything. 23. Ask for help. Often. 24. In the long run, where you go to university doesn’t matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you’re given there. The Waterloo name on your resumé won’t mean much if that’s the only thing on your resumé. You will have access to a variety of unique opportunities that no one else will ever have — don’t waste them. 25. Half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at any given moment. Get used to it. 26. In ten years very few of you will look as good as you do right now, so secretly revel in how hot you are before it’s too late. 27. Make perspective a priority. If you’re too close to something to have good perspective, rely on your friends to help you. 28. Wash your sheets more than once a year. Trust me on this one. 29. If you are in a relationship and none of your friends want to hang out with you and your significant other, pay attention. They usually know better than you do. 30. Don’t be afraid of the weird pizza topping combinations that your new friend from across the country loves. Some of the truly awful ones actually taste pretty good. Expand your horizons. 31. Explore the campus thoroughly. Don’t get caught. 32. Life is too short to stick with a course of study that you’re no longer excited about. Switch, even if it complicates things. 33. Tattoos are permanent. Be very certain. 34. Don’t make fun of prefrosh. 35. Carve out an hour every single


day to be alone. (Sleeping doesn’t count.) 36. All-nighters are entirely overrated. 36. Enjoy every second of the next four years. It is impossible to describe


how quickly they pass. 37. This is the only time in your lives when your only real responsibility is to learn. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.

Welcome to some of the best years of your lives. Be yourself. Create. Inspire, and be inspired. Grow. Laugh. Learn. Love. — Usman Shahid

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FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

Proper essay writing for any circumstance The first and most important step of any paper is planning. Even if you’re attempting to write a pile Most students are lucky enough to of bullshit, coherent and ordered never encounter a failed essay mark bullshit is more likely to persuade. with a comment like, “This is not Even if you are writing a paper a proper essay.” This is most likely at the last minute you can still follow because essays are not simply marked these guidelines for planning and based on form or style, but for content. organizing. It is your ideas and arguments that are For those of you who believe that the moneymakers. last minute work Working to means beginning improve your esto write immeEven if you’re say-writing skills diately, consider as the vehicle of this exam context: attempting to these stellar ideas 15 minutes spent of yours will make write a pile of on a great outthe transmission can prepare bullshit, coherent line of your argument you to write an more persuasive essay clearly and and ordered and effective. If succinctly in, say, that alone doesn’t one hour and 45 bullshit is more blow your skirt minutes. up, think of this: likely to persuade. C o n t r a r i l y, the possibility of an essay writgaining an extra ten without the 5 to10 per cent on proper guidelines each essay or simply diminishing your yields muddled thoughts and unlinked stress-level when writing papers. ideas. It also wastes immense time Improving your writing skills is between paragraphs and arguments essential for any discipline. Cath- as you collect and re-collect your main erine Briggs, a history professor, thesis. A focused argument is almost notes, “Most professors want to see never acheived this way. clear, effective and correct style and Moreover, if you can hone your grammar.” Regardless of the area of outlining skills when preparing essays study, learning to write effectively can for submission, you will become swiftimprove the clarity of your argument er at writing an exam essay without the thus making it more powerful. luxury of time and revision. Ellen Ewart

staff reporter

claire mousseau

Researching and collecting mate- initially to begin the date with a spark you should consider the possibility rial requires its own how-to article. of interest. The spilled drink should of preparing a first draft, walking For advice, seek hints from your occur in the middle so that the date away for awhile and revisiting it with professors, TAs or the websites and doesn’t begin or end on the wrong a fresh perspective. Getting a friend or roommate foot. The kiss is the best event and resources listed below. Now, assuming you will take more should be the last thing to happen, to proofread is helpful even if he than one evening to prepare before so it lingers in the minds of you and or she doesn’t know the difference between “you’re” and “your.” Having writing your essay, it’s a good idea to your date. This analogy can be applied to an outsider point out confusing parts have quotes pulled from your sources several aspects of your essay. Firstly, or shaky transitions is helpful when and then categorized. I prefer to collect the quotes I’ve if you are not employing a specific you’ve been deep in the material for highlighted while reading (for reasons structure based on logic or time, hours on end. One last word of advice after all of argument, logic or that I simply you may order your set of arguthis: beware of over-planning. like the way an argument is This pitfall applies to both worded) and type them into time and content. Though a document, then begin catthe outline is essential to egorizing by the cut-and-paste “It takes a good writer to your paper, make sure to method. sacrifice a good line for the leave enough time to actuThis is the first developally write and revise your ment of your outline. It is imbenefit of the piece.” work. And always remember portant because it will clearly to cover only what is posshow where the strengths of — Jacqui Smyth, English professor sible in the scope of your your arguments are and may paper. reveal that a point you were Briggs stresses the imhoping to make is insuffiportance of the student’s ciently supported. Jacqui Smyth teaches her stu- ments in this way, keeping the best own ideas and interpretations and dents that “it takes a good writer to and most persuasive argument last the ability to critically analyze. Don’t sacrifice a good line for the benefit and sandwiching any weaker argu- become cluttered in evidence at the of the piece.” This is extremely ments in the middle. However, you expense of spontaneity. For more hands-on advice, UW’s important since an idea, an argu- can also use this “ticket, pop-slop, ment or even a single line that you kiss” technique to each argument ELPP, English Language Proficiency are hanging onto may be directing and paragraph within the essay. Program, offers a wealth of services. This keeps your work controlled Katherine MacLean provides office your essay away from the bulk of hours on Mondays between 1:30-2:30 and readable. your evidence. Because there are so many style (or by appointment) for students who It should become clear by your content and by this first step which guides and variations thereof, it would like their papers reviewed or have questions. structure you will employ. Choices is best to follow a simple rule of Revision of papers is also availrange from chronological, classifica- catering to the professor. Ask your tion, cause and effect or comparison professor which style guide is pref- able through the Writing Centre where students can book consulerable. and contrast. Buy The Little Brown Compact tation meetings with Masters and A tip that has stayed with me for nearly a decade is an analogy I Handbook or visit sites such as Purdue PhD students, as well as retired learned from my grade nine English University’s OWL or www.aresearch- professors. The ELPP is also hosting a and refer to the applicable teacher. popular workshop on essay writShe set up a scenario of an impor- sections. If your professor is asking you for ing. Registration for the workshop tant first date in which three events were to occur: a perfect kiss, the both in-text citations and footnotes is required by visiting Counselling acquisition of free concert tickets and don’t bother pointing out that this Services in Needles Hall, room 2080. a drink spilled all over you. The class is a mixture of two styles, simply Two sessions of the same workshop spent some time discussing which adopt this Frankenstein style while will take place on October 3 and November 13. order would be best and a consensus you smile and nod. Even if you cannot always write was finally reached. The ticket should be received an essay a week before its deadline,

FRIDAY, september 15, 2006



Moving on is just a simple equation An all-encompassing ethics guide to dumping the one you no longer love and not looking like the bad guy

Last week I wrote about the horrors of being dumped. I asked for an international hiatus on breakups during the month of August. I even asked nicely. But did you guys listen? Hell no. There has been another August dump reported to me. Sure, I guess technically since my article was published in September and the dump happened in August, this isn’t really an infraction, but if I started to let logic cloud my judgment, I wouldn’t have a column anymore. So now that the tallies are in and we have an understanding, I shouldn’t be hearing about any more breakups. Really, I’ve had my fill. I’ve nursed all the sad sacks I can nurse and it’s time to start moving on. Although every relationship is special in its own way, it’s also special in that generic way that makes columns like mine possible. Your relationship is unique, just like mine and just like all of my friends’. So, let’s set the ground rules. The dumpee should have a maximum of one year to get over the dumper. Whether you were together for a week or since Grade 6, you get an absolute maximum of one year. Now, let’s get more specific. Take the amount of time you two were together and divide that by three. That’s the amount of time it should take you to get over the person. For instance, if you were together for three

years, one year is the most it should take you. If something that you felt you were being held you were together for nine months, then you back at. This is freedom time. Put it to conget three months. Take any longer than this structive use. amount of time and Don’t call or you’re not getting wait to be called. Take any longer than this over them, you’re If you want her still imaginary-dat- amount of time and you’re not back, don’t call. ing them. If you don’t want Next, let’s set a getting over them, you’re still her back, don’t minimum amount of call. Calling makes imaginary-dating them. days for the dumper you look stupid. to move on. For Either way, the this, I’m not going to use the time you were only thing you can do is get over her and see together. how that goes. Let’s use other milestones. If you met your Don’t hit on, sleep with or start hanging ex’s best friend or they met yours, add one day out with your ex’s friends. Unless you were for each. If you met his or her parents, add one particularly good friends before the relationship, day for each parent met. Add one day for every special event, birthday, religious or secular holiday and occasion you attended. You can count weeklong or multi-day celebrations as one day, if you wish. Finally, add three days for every gift exchanged over $50. Basically, this will allow you to put into numbers how serious your relationship was. Like I’ve said in previous columns, how long two people were together for is not indicative of how special things were. So, say the entire above math adds up to around 16, this means that you should, out of respect for the relationship, stay celibate and abstinent for at least 16 days. So now that you know when you’re allowed to get over someone, here are a list of dos and don’ts. Do try to start something new. Get out and keep busy. Engage in a hobby or join a gym. Better yet, try to acquire a skill or improve

wait the aforementioned time before you even hang out — even just as friends. And under no circumstances, no matter how much you hate the person, should you ever sleep with a family member of an ex. Of course getting over someone is much harder than all of this, but at least if you know the ground rules you can know when you’re breaking them. Breaking them may make you feel better, but they won’t make you any happier any quicker. The goal of getting over someone is to make you a healthy, adjusted, datable person again. Always remember that you’ll never be happy with someone else until you’re happy alone. So take the alone time to learn to be happy for yourself.

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FRIDAY, September 15, 2006

Cauliflower cuisine supreme If you ask me what I’d pair this with, it would be the always-classy Top Dogs from Maple Leaf, grilled and sliced into vertical pieces. While it is not as gourmet as other meats, it still remains delicious! Cauliflower Cheese

Fri -Sat & Mon 7:00, Sun 7:10, Tues-Wed 9:30.

An Inconvenient Truth (G) Fri -Sat 9:15, Sun 2:45 & 7:00, Mon 9:05

Scoop (PG) Sat-Sun 4:55 Sophie Scholl: The FInal Days (14A) Tues-Wed 7:00

Apocalypse Now (14A) Thurs 7:00 only.

46 King St. N. Uptown Waterloo

Little Miss Sunshine (14A) Fri 7:10, Sat-Thurs 7:10 & 9:20, Sat- Sun 2:15 & Wed 1:00 Matinees.

The Devil Wears Prada (PG) Fri- Thurs 7:00

Trust the Man (14A) Fri - Thurs 9:25



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Think of this dish as a way to incorporate those daily veggies into your meals. I feel that cauliflower takes a back seat to the all-mighty broccoli. Don’t be fooled by the cauliflower’s pearly-white complexion — it offers more than meets the eye. This vegetable packs a good helping of vitamins C and B, as well as dietary fibre, which aids in digestion. The reason for cauliflower’s colour is due to its leaves shielding the florets from receiving sunlight. The lack of light prevents the green chlorophyll pigment found in that of its relatives, broccoli and kale, to develop. The florets you are enjoying are actually undeveloped flower buds, giving it that characteristic bumpy, firm texture. Think of the dish as a version of mac and cheese but subtract the macaroni and replace it with pretty cauliflower florets surrounded by a rich creamy cheese sauce — homemade for your bragging pleasure and tastier than any packaged version. Best of all, this dish is quick and simple to make. This is a delicious accompaniment to any thick juicy meat, such as roast beef or spicy frankfurters.

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Method: 1. Wash and cut the cauliflower into small florets, put them into a saucepan with the bay leaves and cover with cold water. 2. Add a sprinkling of salt and bring to a boil, then drain and wash briefly with cold water. 3. Let the cauliflower drain again in a colander, take out the bay leaves and discard. 4.When the cauliflower has completely drained, put into an ovenproof dish in an even layer, cover with cling wrap and leave to rest. 5. Preheat oven to 425 °F. Meanwhile, make the sauce: 1. Melt the butter in a saucepan on medium-low heat, then whisk in mustard and flour. 2. Cook for about 5 minutes. Take the saucepan off the heat, add the milk, then place pan back on the heat, stirring constantly until the mixture becomes really thick and begins to bubble. 3. Sprinkle in the 2 3/4 cup of


cheddar and stir over the heat until it has melted into the sauce. If desired, add salt and pepper. 4. Remove the cling wrap and pour sauce over the cauliflower, sprinkle the remaining cheese on top. 5. Pop the dish into the oven and

Health benefits:

(one serving) - 91.5 per cent of daily Vitamin C intake - increases liver’s ability to combat toxic substances - enzymes detoxify your body - maintains a healthy heart - reduces risk of strokes - reduces cholesterol levels - can prevent female cancers - counters anaemia -regulates blood pressure

bake for about 20 minutes or until the dish is nice and bubbly and golden brown on top. Makes 6 to 8 portions. Enjoy!

Ingredients: 1 large head cauliflower 2 bay leaves or substitute 1/2 tsp thyme seasoning 8 tbsp unsalted butter 2 tsp English mustard 1/2 cup plain flour 2 cups milk 2 3/4 cups sharp cheddar, grated Plus 1/2 cup more for sprinkling

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Arts Imprint

Friday, september 15, 2006 Arts Editor: Margaret Clark Arts Assistant: Dinh Nguyen


Metric, Wintersleep thrash for frosh Shuvo Ralaman Craig Garbe reporter

Orientation 2006 brought more to Waterloo than just talented new students; the frosh festivities also brought some highly acclaimed and gifted bands to campus. It was around 2:30 in the afternoon on the Friday of Frosh Week when the bands Wintersleep and Metric graced the B.C. Matthews Hall green to get the university pumped up for another year. Campus bar operations manager and Feds programmer Marc Thususka, FOC and all the Frosh leaders did a brilliant job getting the stage and venue ready for the midafternoon show, and the bands certainly didn’t disappoint. Wintersleep, the five-piece ensemble hailing from Halifax, Nova Scotia, put on a great opening set. Their music lived up to its reputation as both “head-smashingly heavy and heart-achingly delicate.” Their distinctive blend of indie rock speaks to that part of you that cannot be satisfied by anything less than authentic and inspired poetry, delivered with power-chords that kick like a shot of Jager you probably should have left on the bar. Extremely polite lead singer Paul Murphy really knows how to open up to a crowd; their newfound success on the Canadian music scene is no doubt a result of his honesty on stage. It’s no wonder that critics are hyping Wintersleep as the biggest thing to come out of Halifax since Sloan hit the stage in the early ’90s. You should definitely check out their website at With the young crowd warmed up, the stage was set for the arrival of Emily Haines, Jimmy Shaw, Josh Winstead and Joules ScottKey — the quartet known as Metric. For those of you unfamiliar with the band, the members are originally from Toronto, but have been just about everywhere. In the last few years since their debut album

“Old World Underground” took off they have especially started to receive the recognition they so greatly deserve. Metric spent much of August touring the UK, and recently returned from some hot shows out west. As Emily strode onto the stage here in Waterloo, you could practically see the joy blossoming on the faces of the young orientation students — possibly because of Emily’s sexy (and very see-through) outfit, or perhaps because the student audience was waiting in eager anticipation for Metric’s music. They opened the set with the hit song “Empty” and the crowd followed orders as the lyrics encouraged them to “shake your head, it’s empty.” Metric turned up the tempo from there, clearly showing that they deserve their place as up-and-coming stars in the Canadian music scene. Their music took off and came alive on stage, helped by guitarist Jimmy Shaw, who was showing off some killer riffs that just have to be heard live to be fully appreciated. The unfortunate part of the show was that it was so short; the band had to leave early to make their next appearance at U of T. At times it seemed as though they were holding something back from their performance because in 20 minutes they would be on their bus and back on the road. Emily also had to clarify the name of the town she was playing in when she first addressed the crowd with the words “Waterloo, right?” (I mean, at least know the name of the city you’re in!) But no lack of excitement from playing a quick set in the middle of the day can take away from the musical flair that the band clearly possesses. Their subliminally charged indie-pop rhythms and reflectively beautiful lyrics really hit home and seeing Emily’s nubile body shake and bounce on stage is enough to shake the hormones out of any sexually frustrated Frosh. If you missed the show, don’t let it happen again; check out for tour dates and some great tracks.

Shuvo Ralaman

Metric’s lead singer, Emily Haines, rocked UW during last week festivities.

September 15: Atmosphere — Elements Nightclub 8p.m. — $23 - 25

September 19: Jesus Christ Superstar — Centre in the Square 8p.m. — $46,69 and 79 depending on row

September 16: DJ Nana w/ special guests — Starlight Social Club 9p.m. — $5 advance, more at door

September 19: Controller.Controller — Starlight Social Club 9p.m. — $13 advance, all ages

September 16: The Machines & Elliott Brood — Boathouse 9:30p.m. — $15 September 16-17: Art of Fire, feat. local artists — Station 2 Studios All day — Free admission

September 20: Marc Toth, Piano — KWCMS music room 8p.m. — $10 - $30, depending on age

September 18 - 22 : Imaginus Poster Sale — SLC, Purpose room 9a.m.-8p.m./9a.m.-5p.m. (last day) September 19: Art Talks: feat. Guy Maddin — Perimeter Instituteccc 7:30p.m. — $15 regular/$10 full time students

Dinh Nguyen assistant arts editor

September 21: John Lee w/Guitar Bomb — Boathouse 9p.m. — no price listed September 21: Apocalpse Now Redux (14A) — Princess Cinemas 7p.m. — $6 at Turnkey Desk September 22: In Search of Mozar — Princess Cinemas 7p.m. — $6 at Turnkey Desk



FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

J & A Airbrush Romantic comedy just worth the laughs, but little else

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Courtesy Fox Searchlight

Trust the Man treks through all the usual romantic comedy clichés for lukewarm pay-off. Trust The Man Bart Freundlich Fox Searchlight Pictures


I like to laugh. Allow me to rephrase that: I really like to laugh. Some might say that is not a valid excuse for me to see Trust The Man willingly — a romantic comedy. I, on the other hand, will take any available opportunity to laugh; even if it involves sitting through a movie about two rocky relationships, infidelity and (gasp) romance. And what an opportunity it was. Tom (David Duchovny) is the sexobsessed, sexually unsatisfied, stay at home husband of Rebecca (Julianne Moore) who is a slightly pretentious and self-absorbed actress. Tobey (Billy Crudup), Rebecca’s brother and Tom’s best friend, is a self-proclaimed “ass-man” (according to his e-mail) in a seven-year relationship with Elaine (Maggie Gyllenhaal) who has recently realized she wants to get married and have a child.

The plot thickens when two unrelated counts of infidelity occur, bonds are broken and people are left confused and frustrated. Surprise, surprise. I suppose I shouldn’t get too sarcastic, and at least pretend to give kudos to Freundlich for his immense creativity with the script; after all, how else can a romantic comedy be written? Although the romantic aspect of the story was quite cliché, the script was very witty. While I’m convinced that I laughed at some parts that weren’t deliberately funny — since no one else in the audience joined in — what I mostly laughed at were, presumably, intentionally-written jokes. Perhaps the audience was full of prudes or maybe I have a weird sense of humour. Either way, the film did a good job of being funny. I’d like to apologize in advance for what I am now about to do; I realize I am committing the worst possible sin a movie reviewer can commit. That

said, Trust the Man ended in the usual way a romantic comedy ends: a huge public (some might say romantic) ordeal is had during which strangers are implausibly interested in the fact that two relationships are now back together. This was the last straw for me. Why do all romantic comedies end like this? I was lulled into a sense of false satisfaction by the humour throughout only to be crushed by the dull and conventional ending. But please, don’t take the film’s titular advice and trust me. For, as you can probably tell from my name, I am a man. And from what I hear, most men react differently to romance in movies than women do. If this is the case, then my opinion of the romantic half of this dual-genre movie is completely biased and you should go see it for yourself. Either way, it was definitely worth the laughs. — Andrew Abela

Organizing the big show

Shuvo Ramalan

Orientation week organizers played a large role in the September 8 Metric concert’s success.

FRIDAY, september 15, 2006



Haruki Murakami Norwegian Wood Vintage International

First things first: yes, I did pick this book up at the bookstore because of its title. I’m a huge Beatles fan, what can I say. I picked up Douglas Coupland’s Eleanor Rigby the other day for the exact same reason. That said, this is one of the most interesting coming-of-age tales I’ve read in quite a while — and I love those kinds of stories, so I have definitely read a lot of them in my time. This novel chronicles the adventures of Toru Watanabe, a Japanese college student in the late 1960s, and by many standards it is a rather typical “boy goes to school and grows up” story with its dealings regarding love, friendship and sex. That is, it seems rather typical until author Haruki Murakami starts throwing in twists and turns that include suicide, mental instability and sexual perversion. While some might argue that these rather sub-standard complications draw away from the realistic aspect of the novel, I would contest that these features actually make the story even more interesting because it realistically deals with issues that are often left tucked away underground. Murakami forces his main character to deal with both his best friend committing suicide and his girlfriend being extremely mentally unstable. While it may not be a very common occurrence to have one person face both of these horrible situations, the author still somehow manages to make Toru’s life believable and, more importantly, accessible. Speaking of accessibility, it needs to be mentioned that when Murakami published Norwegian Wood in 1987, his regular six-figure readership exploded into the millions, thus causing him to hide away in Europe and then the United States before feeling comfortable enough with his superstardom to move back to Japan again in 1995.

Clearly, Murakami struck a chord hard with Norwegian Wood. Many critics often compare the book to J.D. Salinger’s famous The Catcher in the Rye, specifically drawing many similarities between said book’s main character Holden Caulfield and Murakami’s Toru. Oddly enough, I read Murakami’s novel before reading The Catcher in the Rye, and while I do see the similarities, I think that I still prefer Murakami’s portrayal of the “alone in the world” protagonist. Regardless of all that, if you’re a fan of Salinger, coming-of-age stories or simply extremely well-written and interesting fiction, do yourself a favour and pick up some Murakami. — Suzanne Gardner

James Frey A Million Little Pieces Nan A. Talese

of a controversy that had thousands of readers, including its most prominent one, Oprah, up in arms over revelations that the “memories” he had written were largely invented. Various details of the book were first exposed as fraudulent by the What boggles my mind is that people ever gave this book any credibility to begin with. At the very beginning, he recounts details of a visit to the dentist where he undergoes a double root canal without any anesthesia. It is assumed that he was denied anesthesia because of the fact he was recovering from various substance abuses. Beyond this, anyone with even the feeblest sense of skepticism could see that the vast majority of the story was written with an over-developed sense of hyperbole. One of the main focal points of the book is Frey’s insistence that he is taking full responsibility for his actions. This theme is stressed at many points throughout. Towards the end, however, in the context of a family meeting, it is made known that as a child he suffered from an ailment that wasn’t diagnosed in time, causing him to suffer a great deal as an infant where a psychological affliction he describes as “the fury” was supposed to have developed. The sense taken at completion is that he is making the excuse that he is the way he is because of this fact, despite vehement denial of the fact before, during and after this scene. Many people have praised the style of writing as “real” and “gritty” but for a book that was 200 pages too long, the staccato-like rhythm the book takes on grates at your nerves and makes a pleasant flow nearly impossible. If this weren’t enough the entire memoir is plagued by repetition of various parts of the text, and in some cases, for no clear reason. If this was supposed to be a real voice, it wouldn’t have such inane stuttering. Style aside, the story could be considered to be moving as a result of the raw nature of the narrative. Trying to pass it off as a true story, however, was beyond any amount of reason.

This past summer I had the pleasure of reading a great number of works spanning several genres, from non-fiction to contemporary Canadian literature. I even suffered through the lowest form of literature to ever poison the human existence: thrillers. While I generally save my ire for the formulaic drivel vomited by the likes of Dan Brown and Dean Koontz, I was surprised to find a memoir the latest subject of my disgust. A Million Little Pieces is ostensibly a story of theIMPRINT/2004GEN/rawbco© author’s final stint in a rehabilitation7/5/04 clinic. As 12:42 you may have heard, this work was at the centre


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FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

Hillside reaches new heights Rebecca McNeil Darcy Higgins reporter

Hillside Festival

For those who march to the beat of a different drum, Guelph’s Hillside Festival is a treat for the eyes, ears, palette and soul. Founded on grassroots and alternative thinking, Hillside is an annual, multi-stage music festival that strives to be “accessible, environmentally sensitive, non-hierarchical and inclusive.” There aren’t many events where vegetarian options outweigh the beef, artists walk among crowds like (gasp) regular people and beers from independent breweries are a staple. One of the things that makes the Hillside Festival worth coming back to is the unique, laidback atmo-

sphere where the Canadian reputation for being polite and accepting is taken to the next level — and the music isn’t bad either. This July’s lineup included Feist, Sarah Harmer, The Hidden Cameras, The Constantines, Cadence Weapon, The Sadies, The Stills, Jason Collett, Jully Black, Final Fantasy, Jill Barber and Cuff the Duke. But it was often less established acts which impressed, such as Spiral Beach, a group of 16-19 year-olds including exceptional male vocalist Dorian Thornton, who is entering the math program at the University of Waterloo this year. A likeness to The Hidden Cameras was noted before Thornton revealed he’d be missing part of his Frosh Week to tour with the band, which played at Uptown Waterloo’s Starlight

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September 7. The Stills rocked with a main set Friday night, and afterwards lead vocalist Dave Hamelin caught up with Imprint about their tour. The Stills have reached fame and have been touring strong across North America for four months. This fame will now bring them to Europe where Hamelin’s favourite spot is Cologne, Germany, because of the amazing food. Hamelin said that Hillside was likely their first time headlining a festival. “I’ve never seen this many hippies,” he observed. “I don’t know where they all came from.” Martyn Joseph, a folk singer from Wales, blew0 the crowd away with his clear and passionate lyrics taking on politicians and media. “You say we beat the Russians to the moon, I say you starved children to do it ... You say let’s beat China to Mars, I say come down and solve the AIDS crisis.” Joseph advocated “getting some good people in power” and suggested HIV/AIDS advocate Stephen Lewis rather than Stephen Harper. Joseph added that 20th century folk singer Woody Guthrie would be proud of someone like Lewis. Lewis will be speaking at UW September 30 as part of the Diversity Awareness Campaign. Jully Black’s less activist musical message was about treating yourself right — mind and body. Black, who has also been to UW with the Diversity Campaign told Imprint that she tells people to “exude … confidence and let your light shine.” She certainly took her own advice, treating the audience to an engaging performance and interviewing with a bubbly personality. She told us of her recent chance to perform with her favourite singer, Etta James: “I really analyzed my voice that day. I felt like I got my purple heart.” On the festival, Black remarked, “Hillside is like a favourite dessert!” Sarah Harmer spoke with Imprint right after a workshop performance with four female vocalists. She told Imprint of her own struggle against mining on the Niagara Escarpment. You can check out Harmer’s story at “I’m trying to do my bit,” she said. About the session, Feist told us “it was great playing with the ladies.” But the session got mixed reviews, due to the artists’ various abilities to collaborate on the performances. Following in Harmer’s footsteps, the festival’s young Green Team, which brought a green roof to the main stage, was fundraising for a naturalized trail. Hillside is a shining example that all things socially and environmentally sustainable need not be small or uninteresting. Beginning in 1984 as a free, eleven-hour festival at Riverside Park, the festival now takes place at the Guelph Lake Conservation Area, which features a permanent solar-powered stage and over 1000 volunteers. This year the Hillside festival sold out in a matter of days — a big step from their humble roots — and yet they remain grounded in the principles that they started with: good times, good music, and ecological and community responsibility.


relaxing stream of metaphoric water. Even though sometimes Illuminare’s theme could get a bit whiny, the music provides enough emotion to fill the dark gaps within our hearts, without all the teenage melodrama and emo angst.

The Dudes Brain Heart Guitar

— Dinh Nguyen

The Dudes Music/Meggar Music

The Dudes tell it like it is. The CD case warns, “No names have been changed to protect the innocent, since powers of the universe protect the innocent as a matter of heavenly courtesy.” If you raised, dated or simply walked past this group, they likely wrote a song about you. This album is full of heartbreak and bitter feelings, but you wouldn’t guess it by listening to the high energy melodies alone. You wouldn’t get it by reading the liner notes either — there are none. This is an album for listening to when life has beaten you down so far you think you’re the only one in the world whose life sucks. Pop this album in and you realize you’re not the only one. In fact, somewhere in Alberta there is a quartet of hurting cowboys (the Dudes?) who’ve had enough. And they’re going to write a song about it. In fact, they’re going to write 13 songs about it. Good songs that will stick in your head.

— Neal Moogk-Soulis

Umbrellas Illuminare The Militia Group

If you come home from a thunderstorm, your clothes are mucky and wet. The pounding downpour has left the hem of your jeans heavy and sticking to your legs. Your shirt seems to have darkened, like a slimy coating on your skin. You are tired, cold, grouchy — anything but comfortable. After changing into something dry you sit down in front of the computer, still shaking off shivers, still cold and uncomfortable. You try to relax by putting on some music. “Umbrellas” is what you’ve conjured up. Suddenly, illuminative music notes fill the air. Like tea, gentle melodies slowly steep into your ears. Scott Windsor’s high soothing voice is magical. It makes your body feel light and warm on the insides. Ryan Lindsey’s background vocals and other band instruments complement the singing. Illuminare’s light alternative rock creates a soft, cozy atmosphere, making you forget about the rain, muck and chill. It leaves you both mellow and comfy. All ten tracks of Illuminare are written with feeling. Track eight, “Test on my Heart” contains dark poetic lyrics set to an ironic calming tune with an upbeat piano interlude which makes it uniquely interesting. Track nine, called “Ships,” has a catchy slow beat that enchants your mind and forces you to float down a depressing yet

Subhumans New Dark Age Parade Alternative Tentacles

My first impression of the Subhumans was based on their interesting instrumentals. They are clearly a punk band with balls. Gerry Hannah, the bassist, known as ‘Nature Punk,’ has been linked to a political group known as “Direct Action.” They blew up an environmentally unfriendly power plant. Hannah was sentenced to prison for 10 years. Now that’s what I call punk. A band that actually believes in what they write about. This CD makes me pay attention to the lyrics instead of dismissing them and just jumping around to the punk sounds. I like the political nature of the album. Yes, this has been done many times before, however it’s far from boring and repetitive this time: “The experts all agree on what we shouldn’t see / Don’t look at the bloody mess that’s under the debris.” The Subhumans have been an established band since 1978 and have their roots well and truly planted in the early days of punk. Subhumans are no bandwagon jumpers or sellouts; they just give a realistic commentary on society today. New Dark Age Parade is a CD that I would use to welcome someone who has been living in a black hole for the past 30 years. A voice of truth and reason, Subhumans haven’t sugarcoated the corrupt spoon-fed society we live in. I would expect people to whom I handed the CD to turn around and run back. Brian Gobles’ vocals are rough and gritty with a piercing tone of understanding and awareness. I would encourage you to invest in this CD, not only because it’s an impressive piece of work, but also because it’s a record that says a lot about the way we live and accept certain “truths.” If you do purchase the album and like what you hear, Subhumans are playing in Toronto on October 21 at Lee’s Palace.

— Amy Brooks

The Kooks Inside In Inside out Virgin

This British indie band appeared at the same time as other British favourites like Arctic Monkeys, Razorlight, Kasabian and Snow Patrol. The Kooks are a Brighton band that named themselves after a track of the same name on David Bowie’s Hunky Dory album. Their debut album Inside In Inside Out begins


with a two-minute calm, sleep inducing melody titled “Seaside.” The second song, “See The World,” immediately reminded me of trips to the beach with friends and time passing faster than drink. The album is memory-provoking rather than thought-provoking. It allows you to sit back and reminisce on summers past. It is most definitely a summer album. I think the album is about a girl or girls. However, the songs aren’t stereotypically nauseating. There is a backbone to this album, though, that makes me not want to skip any tracks. The songs that hold this album together are “Naive” and “Jackie Big Tits.” The intro to “Naive” plucks at the heartstrings slightly; fortunately the lyrics and reasoning behind the song are downplayed by the upbeat music. “Naïve” makes me want to turn it up loud and dance around the room with one hand raised in the air. “Jackie Big Tits” is a slow, soft melody — then from out of nowhere “Jackie Big Tits” is announced. It becomes a tongue-in-cheek, humorous affair; it’s a class song. The lyrics to this album are like liquid. They fall from the vocalist’s mouth and are soaked up by the listener. I found myself humming and tapping my foot, but not really listening out for the lyrics. However, oddly enough the lyrics had a tendency to randomly jump out at me. I would recommend The Kooks if you’re in a happy mood and loving whatever life has to throw at you. This album will put even more of a bounce in your step.

Iron Maiden A Matter of Life and Death Sanctuary Records

Once upon a time, Iron Maiden recommended running to the hills. That great metal ballad has accompanied many of my all-night Imprint sessions. But I fear that Iron Maiden took their own advice too far and went over the hill. They don’t seem to know it, though, so don’t tell. A Matter of Life and Death doesn’t necessarily suck; it just exists. It’s Iron Maiden, blended, digested by a rather large bird and spat out for mass-consumption. I love Iron Maiden as much as the next strangely-obsessed metal head; but give it up guys. When stage appearances start to be accompanied by walkers and oxygen, it’s time to go. All the tracks on this disc sound half-hearted; like the band somehow knew it was literally a matter of life and death but decided to blatantly ignore it. Maybe a matter of the chance for a spot on the next Rockstar super-band of the season. If you’re a hardcore Iron Maiden fan — like your entire wardrobe consists of Iron Maiden shirts, underwear, socks, sweatpants and headbands — pick up this album. The art is exciting. The music is drab, old, rehashed and barely reflavoured Iron Maiden. Iron Maiden, I will always love you, but like a summer memory, not a long-held wife. Please, please go away and stay in the oldies.

— Amy Brooks

—Tim Alamenciak

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FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

Spotlight on local-born David Morrell Rambo’s creator shares his experience with and thoughts on urban exploration from real-time thriller, Creepers Margaret Clark arts editor

When author David Morrell was last a resident in Kitchener-Waterloo, the region was a little different: his high school, St. Jerome’s, wasn’t yet boarded up due to fire; his college — again, St. Jerome’s — wasn’t yet an affiliate of the University of Waterloo; and his home, as well as the parking lots and surrounding buildings, had yet to be razed to make room for the present Kitchener City Hall. Still, David Morrell, author of 28 books including First Blood, Rambo (First Blood Part II), Rambo III, and his most recent novel, Creepers, thinks very fondly of the city where he was born and raised, and where he even pursued a degree in American literature. Now living in Sante Fe, New Mexico (which he assures me is not the warm clone of Phoenix, Arizona everyone imagines it to be: think mountains just a short walk from home), Morrell attributes the success of his most famous creation, Rambo, to the unique perspective that being a Canadian in the U.S. allowed him. “I was teaching a rhetoric course after the Vietnam War, and I found that many students had been soldiers in the war. … They had a real

problem with authority in the class, because I was around their age, but I obviously hadn’t served in that war. I was a Canadian with a wife and small child. There was no way I was going off, and they understood that too. But the difference was really telling. “Anyway, eventually we got over that and they started telling me just these incredible stories about their experiences. … And here I think being Canadian really allowed me to pick up details that might have been overlooked otherwise, especially when I realized a lot of what they were saying had to do with post-traumatic stress, with a lot of frustration. “I knew a lot of soldiers hadn’t been treated very well after the fighting was over … and I thought, hey, what if I wrote a story about a soldier who returns after Vietnam to face a new kind of war?” Morrell noted that his books and the Hollywood movies (starring Sylvester Stallone) diverged in many key areas: the most important divergence being that Rambo of the first movie starts out passive and builds to a more violent persona, allowing him to appear the hero of the film, but in Morrell’s First Blood Rambo, fresh from the war, is an already immensely frustrated and troubled character.

have created a character so wellentrenched in modern culture, and also for the marked success of his writing. Now in his 34th year as a professional author — no mean feat for those seeking fame and fortune in the publishing world — David Morrell’s works to date still push new boundaries. His most recent novel, Creepers, is a real-time thriller about urban exploration, a gener-

Jennifer Esperanza

Morrell accepts this striking difference as a necessary part of “fatherhood.” “Eventually there comes a time,” he explained, “when the destiny of what you’ve created is just not in your control anymore.” But the distinction between book and movie also greatly confuses the theme of his work, which was that “[Rambo and the police chief] were both the bad guys, and both the good guys … Rambo was what they made him.” David Morrell ultimately counts himself very fortunate, though, to

“You just have to be willing to work harder than anyone else. ... Just that. That’s all it takes.” — David Morrell ally illegal venture involving the exploration of old and abandoned city sites. With presently over 16 million hits on Google and 18 million on Yahoo, Morrell is sure that the idea of rediscovering the past hands-on has tempted most of us. Even as a boy, it certainly tempted him: “When I was living in Kitchener there was this old apartment building just by where I lived, and I’d often go exploring inside it. … Looking back, I was pretty lucky I didn’t get seriously hurt. One time

a wall fell on me — I’m reliving it right now, actually, and boy that’s a strange feeling — but it never really stopped me. … It’s that idea of reclaiming the past that I think is so important, and I wanted to explore that with Creepers. “My next book, Scavenger, [which] is coming out in March … also deals with that sense of the past. It’s being called ‘a desperate, hightech scavenger hunt’ and it deals with time capsules, which I think is just such a fascinating concept — someone a hundred years in the past burying these things just for you to dig up later.” Morrell’s affinity for the past is also quite personal, as he keeps treasured mementos, like the first letter he received from Stirling Silliphant, writer-producer of Route 66, a TV series from the early ‘60s, close at hand. Morrell’s correspondence with Silliphant prompted Morrell to follow his dream of writing, and he warmly encourages new writers in turn. “You just have to be willing to work harder than anyone else,” he explained, adding with an amused note: “Just that. That’s all it takes.” Creepers is already out in hardcopy, but the riveting thriller, which covers an extensive range of topics including a more modern version of post-traumatic stress disorder, celebrates its paperback release this September 26.

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Friday, september 15, 2006 Science Editor: Rob Blom Science Assistant: Stephanie Anderson

Science Imprint


Man-made hurricanes a likely future Recent study links global warming to tropical storms Adam Gardiner staff reporter

Hurricane season is in full swing in the southern United States and, as expected, the weather in eastern Canada has been a whole lot wetter as a result. The most recent Maritime rainmaker has been the residual effects of Hurricane Florence, which are striking the Maritime provinces as a tropical storm complete with high winds and heavy rainfall. New research is accompanying this year’s hurricane season, however. It suggests that the increased frequency and intensity of tropical storms over the past decade are the result of global warming. It’s also one of three recent studies that draw further attention to the issue of climate change, and fuel the debate as to whether or not it’s something to be accepted as provable fact. A group of scientists, who reported their findings in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, conducted a year-long study of various regions in the ocean, using 22 computer models to study the connections between changes in climate and the likelihood of hurricanes occurring. The difference in this study from previous ones was that the participating scientists examined specific areas in the ocean where hurricanes are known to form, rather than any one ocean as a whole.

What they found was that the surface temperature of the earth’s oceans has increased by 1 degree over the past century. That may not sound like a lot, but on an oceanic scale, it’s a huge increase that can make the difference between a storm being a timid rainshower or a hurricane with a destructive power like that of 2005’s Katrina. Although the scientists ran 80 separate simulations to study the impact of various influences on the ocean, they concluded that natural factors alone could not be responsible for the temperature increase they observed. “The best explanation for these changes has to include a large human influence,” said Tom Wigley, one of the project’s researchers and co-author of the report. “The work that we’ve done kind of closes the loop here.” Although the scientists refrained from making predictions about future hurricane seasons, their research suggests that the steady rate of human activity could mean that the likelihood of damaging storms such as Katrina occurring will only increase in the future. Still, some reseachers are skeptical of the team’s assertions that humans are the primary culprits behind such notable environmental occurences. They point to the fact that science, while noting changes in the earth’s environment, has yet to conclude how much of that change is the result of human activity. Philip Klotzbach, a scientist with Colorado

Move over holograms — magnetic disk storage may have a future after all Michael L. Davenport staff reporter

People following the computer tech scene are constantly bombarded with promises about the kind of exotic new technologies the future holds with regard to data storage. More often than not, the words “optical” or “holographic” get thrown around. However, there may be a future for plain old magnetic storage — though it may work a little differently than it does today. Traditional magnetic storage works by having a bunch of linear magnetic domains stored in a straight line or on a disc. But no matter the arrangement of magnetic domains, the domains themselves are linear — basically a bunch of magnetic arrows pointing the same way. However, professor Carl Rau and postdoc researcher Jian Li of Rice univeristy, Texas, are researching magnetic vortices: circular magnetic domains that feed back onto themselves. “Understanding the nuances and functions of magnetic vortices is likely going to be a key in creating next-generation magnetic storage devices,” said Rau in a university press release. “It’s widely believed this technology will support storage densities in the range of terabits per square inch, and our group is equally excited about the potential for magnetic processors and for high-speed magnetic RAM.” For comparison, current hard disk technology have a storage density of about 100 gigabits per square inch, so the new technology if developed could offer an order of magnitude improvement.

According to the research paper which has been accepted by Physical Review Letters, the experiments were conducted on disks ranging from 5 to 38 micrometres in diameter and are 30 nanometres thick. Single vortices were found on the disks 6 micrometres in diameter. A scanning ion microscope with polarization analysis (SIMPA) is used to gain information about the magnetic domains. It should be noted that the domains are three-dimensional in nature — the more towards the centre of the vortex the domain is, the more the domain points towards the Z axis. Hence the structure is “tornado-like” in nature. Rau makes some pie-in-the-sky promises (“Imagine if you never had to reboot your computer again,” says Rau. Yeah, right. As long as there’s Windows, there’s going to be the Blue Screen of Death) but the propect of highdensity magnetic storage sounds pretty sweet.

Angelo Florendo

(left) Linear magnetic domains, much as they appear on current hard disks and the ilk. (right) a circular magnetic vortex

photo courtesy of NASA

Hurricane Florence pictured above heading straight for Bermuda. Its effects were felt all the way up in Eastern Canada. State University, is one such skeptic, saying: “This paper sheds some light on that question; however, there is still a considerable amount of uncertainty.” It is unclear whether or not the report will influence any North American environmental policies at this time, as the scientists avoided

making any recommendations in their report. “We’re not policymakers,” said atmospheric researcher Greg Holland. “Our role is to present the best possible conclusions from the available evidence.”

Global warming effect on South African plants Monica Harvey reporter

Trudging through a dark winter Waterloo snowstorm, at five in the afternoon will sometimes make you see global warming as a positive thing. While the glass can theoretically always be half full, the glass of global warming can only ever be half full of poison. A recent concern with the poison of global warming is the threat it poses to the thousands of plant species in the drylands of the world, especially South Africa. While I’m sure you’ve heard that global warming threatens to push thousands of species of plants to extinction, and most recently in the sub plot of Al Gore’s life story titled An Inconvenient Truth, what you may not realize is how fast it is happening or the unique situation of the native plants of South Africa. Paul Smith, head of Britain’s Millennium Seed Bank describes the situation. “In the southern hemisphere the plants, can either go up or south. But in South Africa’s Cape they can’t do either, so the 8,000 unique species of fijnbos (indigenous vegetation) there are a real worry.” The Millennium Seed Bank is frantically trying to sort and store seeds from 10 per cent of the world’s plant species by 2010 in an effort to preserve those species threatened by increasing global temperatures. Despite the growing attention concerning native plants in South Africa, global warming has already caused irreversible effects. According to South Africa’s Environmental Affairs Minister Marthinus van Schalkwyk, desertification has already expanded to the semi-arid areas of the

South African landscape and has caused an observable dieback of desert plants such as the kokerboom. As the detailed effects of global warming are predicted, and even observed, it is sometimes so overwhelming it is easily ignored. However there are those out there who are fighting for both hope and change. Van Schalkwyk recently opened the “working group 2” of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) in Somerset West, South Africa with the inspiring thoughts. It had become very clear that global climate change may hold far greater risks than previously believed, and the costs would be measured not only in dollars and species loss, but also in human mortality.

Poll results Should Pluto remain a planet in our solar system? Yes No

64 % 36 %

Number of votes : 50 First vote cast on Sept. 3, 2006 Last vote case on Sept. 13, 2006



Welcome to

FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes Steps to making sustainability a part of your everyday life

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I daringly decided to write this column after three eye opening events took place in my life over the past summer. First, I got the chance to attend a planning student conference at UBC in Vancouver this June. At this conference I gave a presentation titled “Sustaining the Discussion of Sustainability.” I charged everyone who came to my presentation to go home to wherever they came from and do whatever they could to become more sustainable. To be honest, I wrote this presentation with little heart and it wasn’t until halfway through actually presenting that I realized “Hey, this includes you Trish!” Secondly, I went to see An Inconvenient Truth at the Princess Twin Cinema here in Waterloo. I have been interested in the environment since I was a young child and knew about global warming prior to seeing this movie. However, it was the sobering images Al Gore used that really gave

me a sense of the urgency with respect to the reality of the environmental crisis Earth currently faces. If you haven’t seen the movie, I suggest you do. The third event took place on a Wednesday morning in July. I was sitting at Café 1842 drinking my coffee when I looked up to see two stickers on a young man’s notebook at the table next to me. One read “Think Globally, Act Locally” and the other, “Speak

I hope to offer everyday ways for people to become more mindful of their actions and their impacts on Earth. Your Mind, Even if Your Voice Shakes.” This was what I needed to drastically rethink the way I live my day-to-day life. If I want to see change, I have to do more than just rant about it not occuring (as I have done for so

long prior to this summer). These two stickers helped persuade me to write this, as well as change certain aspects of my life which will reduce my impact on this planet. So what is this column all about, you ask? Simply put, I hope to offer everyday ways for people to become more mindful of their actions and their impacts on Earth. For some of you readers, these may be things that you already do and of which you are already aware. This column is directed more at people who spend little time thinking about their impact. I’ll attempt to make my suggestions as easy and painless as possible. With that said, I promise that I will not offer any sustainability steps unless I myself have made them in my life. At the risk of being labelled a tree hugger or a hippie, I hope to make some people understand that acting with a heightened awareness of their impact on the environment doesn’t have to be an impossible task. Just taking some time out of your busy day to read this article is a step towards sustainability. I thank you for reading and hope you stick around for next week’s column.

Freebies for newbies, four hours of your life you will get back Free licence of Windows XP and other valuable software available locally to all students Gautam Khanna reporter

Not again! The Blue Screen of Death. Beginning Physical Memory Dump. Any Windows’ user has seen it happen as consistently as Dell produces crappy laptops. This is when most student Windows’ users go and call a friend with a pre-activated copy of Windows and then download a crack to update with all the security patches. Then, getting the computer back to normal generally means that you just spent four hours of your life in a most unproductive manner. I am here to offer you a solution. It’s simple, legal, easy, convenient and it’s still Microsoft. I know all you first year students think I’ve gone mad because I don’t like the entire Microsoft suite of software, but you will soon learn to be annoyed too. The university provides every student with access to a free licensed copy of Microsoft Windows XP Pro. Yes, it’s no joke. You don’t have to get a pirated copy. You don’t have to get an activation crack. You can install Windows Media Player 11 without extracting any setup files and you can actually use Windows to its full potential (yeah, right).

Also, RezNet has made anti-virus software and firewalls mandatory and, I think, rightly so. UW also provides its students with a free copy of Norton Anti-Virus, SpyBot

Free licensed copies of Microsoft Windows XP Pro, Jbuilder 3, Adobe Suites, browsers, anti-virus software, firewalls Search and Destroy (yeah…it’s not the best but it’s free) and with a few other pieces of software for free or a minimal price. UW also has something to offer those of you who want to join the war against all that is stable by purchasing an iMac, a MacBook or any other product from the new Apple line of flashy Intel-based computers. Oh, and although there are no virus worries yet for Mac users, who knows when someone from the computer sci-

ence club may decide to become more anti-social and bother to create one. So, for any of you mathies with dreams of becoming actuaries or engineers wanting to get more than 33 per cent in hysics this year, go get the software you need. Visit ca/download/, or go buy them for a real cheap price at the CHIP in the Math and Computers building (MC). So what is available? Free licensed copies of Microsoft Windows XP Pro, Jbuilder 3, Adobe Suites, browsers, anti-virus software, firewalls and all the other annoying pieces of academic software required by no one unless they decide to become professors. Which — in all honesty — no one desiring a life would even contemplate. And a note to all the newbs. I don’t know if you guys will be here next year but for your information, RezNet has really horrid timing. So make sure you acquaint yourself with your residence RezNet guy. Remember, you have a 2 GB bandwidth in residence — so honestly — use wireless or plug into the DC.


FRIDAY, september 15, 2006


History and impact of the highly publicized flu virus H5N1

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Faisal Naqib staff reporter

You might not be thinking about it yet, but soon enough you won’t be able to turn on the television without hearing about the flu; whether its a news reporters’ broadcast about recent outbreaks in far-off lands or government advertisement campaigns urging you to get your flu shot. Maybe you even still remember the name of the virus that health officials are most worried about, H5N1, but never understood what the name meant. The following is a brief introduction to the history of the H5N1 virus, so this coming flu season you’ll be ready to understand what’s going on around you. Viruses are made up of genetic material packaged in a membrane similar to that of animal cells. Flu viruses usually have 10 genes and originate from water birds, such as ducks. The virus is well adapted to their immune systems and does not cause disease in the birds. Therefore the virus can continue living in the bird, allowing it to continue spreading. The virus can then jump to another animal species, where it is not adapted to their immune system, and subsequently cause the animal moderate distress. While in this new species, the virus can mutate to a highly pathogenic form. This is how H5N1 evolved. The name H5N1 is derived from the proteins deposited on the surface of the virus’ membrane. H5N1 was first discovered in 1997 where it was found capable of moving from wild ducks to farm chickens and finally to humans. The first outbreak in poultry occurred in 2002 where the virus rampaged through East Asian chicken farms. These chickens were destroyed due to fear that the virus would quickly

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Angelo Florendo

move from the chickens to humans. The virus however continued to circulate in China during 2003. Vietnam reported widespread poultry outbreaks and several human cases in 2004. Initially denying any cases, Cambodia, Thailand, Indonesia and China all admitted to outbreaks after Vietnam’s statement. Infection reached Japan, Malaysia and South Korea where it finally came to a halt due to the mass destruction of poultry stocks. However, more cases were found in birds living in Russia and Kazakhstan during the summer of 2005 and reached the Ukraine by January 2006. All these outbreaks were limited to birds; the first human cases found outside of East Asia were reported across Turkey in December 2005. The spread of the virus was first thought not to be possible by wild bird migrations. However when thousands

of geese were found dead in central China due to a virus related to H5N1, scientists revised their thoughts on the transmission of the disease. Global health organizations are pushing for more observation of avian and human populations for the first signs of infection. Scientists believe that an early detection and isolation of affected individuals are the best defenses against a flu pandemic. Now you’ve become a flu expert and are ready to interpret the media coverage during this flu season. But if you don’t have the “save the world” mindset and are just worrying about whether you are going to get sick and want to know how to prevent that atrocious event from taking place, then simply get a flu shot and constantly wash your hands while giving the “stink-eye” to anyone that coughs in your presence.



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FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

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Stephanie Anderson Brendan Pinto staff reporter

Second Canadian man to walk in space

Steve MacLean will be the man to hold the coveted title of the second Canadian man to walk in space. Atlantis has a mission to install a $372-million US addition to the $100-billion US International Space Station and MacLean has the task of operating the Canadarm2 to make it happen. CTV’s Tom Walters says this mission is “going to expand the space station and give it a lot more power-generating capacity. And Steve MacLean’s role will be to maneuver this assembly.” MacLean will bring the 16,000kilogram addition within 7.5centrimetres of the International Space Station and then endure a 6.5 hour spacewalk to perform further installations. This 11-day flight is set to be finished before the Russian mission begins at the end of September. Increased detection techniques may aid treatment of diseases

According to MIT engineers, a molecular sieve has been developed which will ultimately advance the treatment of diseases. This sieve can remove proteins from complex fluids such as blood more rapidly and accurately than current methods. The effective nanopore sieves confirmed the theoretical Ogston sieving mechanism in ways that gel electrophoresis fell short. Microfabrication technology can create a unifor mly sized nanopore in which proteins can be separated. This high specificity of size is important — previous methods such as gel electrophoresis could not create consistently sized pores. An important implication of this process is the separation of “biomarkers.” These markers are an easy way to detect diseases before the onset of symptoms. High tech security blanket

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Researchers at Cornell University are in the developmental stages of a napkin woven with nanofibers synthesized to detect various dangerous substances with a simple wipe. Key to the production of any technological breakthrough, the napkins are inexpensive and easily used. Both biodegradable and absorbent, the infused nanofibers contain antibodies for a variety of biohazardous substances. These antibodies selectively bind to their respective pathogens thus activating the fibers. Though a few years from commercial production, this could find itself being used anywhere, from airport security protecting the public from biological terrorism to catering services trying to ensure freshness. Because of the potential ubiq-

Courtesy of stock xchange

The discovered pyramid near Luhansk, Ukraine predates those from the Ancient Egyptians, some archaeologists claim. uity of such a product, patents have already been filed and the researchers are looking for commercial partners, though the napkin could still be several years from production. Before Giza, there was the Ukraine?

A dig team near Luhansk, Ukraine have revealed pyramids that predate those in Egypt. This claim has been met with much skepticism, but the archaeologists remark that the remains they uncovered date back thousands of years. While on a trip with their archaeology camp, the site was discovered two years ago by a few school-aged children. Although it will take years to discover the truth and uncover the secrets of the Ukrainian religious site, the city has been quick to jump on the tourist opportunities — a hotel near the site is already in the planning stages. Perserverance — a trait of our ancient cousins

Within Gorham’s Cave on Gibraltar, charcoal from ancient fires has been radiocarbon dated to show that Neanderthals existed at least 2,000 years longer than previously expected. According to BBC News, Gibraltar was secluded from many of the harsh environmental changes which brought about the demise of other Neanderthal populations 35,000 years ago. Unfortunately, the Gibraltar population could not avoid the drought which swept across the British territory approximately 24,000 years ago. Or is this the case? Humans, which were once believed to be the Neanderthals closest ancestors, may have been the cause for their downfall. Researchers are hard at work to find more answers to the Neanderthals convoluted history within the Gibraltar caves. A reason to listen to those voices in your head

Hearing voices can be a very distressing experience, but according to psychologists from the University of Manchester, less than half of

individuals who hear voices seek psychiatric help. Aylish Campbell said, “In fact, many of those affected describe their voices as being a positive influence in their lives, comforting or inspiring them as they go about their daily business. We’re now keen to investigate why some people respond in this way while others are distressed and seek outside help.” Four per cent of Manchester’s population has reported hearing voices in their head — an increase from previous statistics. There is no reported variation in volume or frequency between a healthy or distressed individual. Self-esteem may play a major role in how hearing voices may affect a persons’ mental health. “By investigating the factors influencing how voices are experienced we hope to contribute to the development of psychological therapies to help people better understand and cope with their voices.” Along came a spider…

Despite dating as far back as the 16th century, entomology is still a frontier with many secrets yet to be illuminated. Graduate student Matt Bowser, 26, of the University of Alaska Fairbanks has had the honour of pushing the threshold of our knowledge that much further. In the Kenai Peninsula’s Mystery Hills, an entirely new species of har vestmen (more commonly known as ‘daddy longlegs’) may have been discovered. This finding is an exciting prospect for any entomologist. Relatively little is known in this area of research above the 48th parallel as most research in this area is driven by agriculture of which little is found due to the poor growing conditions found in this area. It will not be officially recognized until it has been reviewed and published in a journal, though there is little question of approval. Generally placid, harvestmen are opportunistic killers, though are often content scavenging dead bugs. — With files from EurekAlert and BBC News UK



Friday, september 15, 2006


What are your frosh week regrets? By Anya Lomako and Tiffany Li

“That sleep thing health services kept suggesting — good idea.” Chris Sparkes

“I regret showing up to Toga hammered and getting kicked out.” Chris Eder

“I was not there! What sort of a loser does that?” Bambi Heart

“I wish every night was Monte Carlo night.” Nicholas Bowers

“I regret not making more friends in my program.” Ryan Brockerville

“I regret not getting my sheets dirty at the Toga party.” Igor Poroger

1B chemical engineering

3B biotechnology and economics

1A health studies

4A european history

1A biochemical science

4A year environment & business

“I wish I had taken more Vitamin C and not gotten violently ill.” Jesse van Amerom 3A arts

“We don’t regret personally meeting all the police officers on campus.” Sahal Abdi & Lindsay Brennan 4A year kinesiology

1. Brit. air force 4. Fenced-in wrestling match 8. Electrical bolts 12. Skeleton part 13. Unconventional Arabian chieftain 14. Harvest 15. Woody vine 16. Fire thorn bush 18. Price compete 20. Reubenesque 21. Male sheep 22. Young chap 23. Replying statement 24. Desired 26. Ramada and Holiday 28. Archaic affirmative 29. Sensationally promotes 30. Stick out the lower lip 31. Winter plaything 32. Indispensable 35. Maple tree genus 38. Licorice flavouring 39. Golfing buddy 43. Charged particle 44. Line up 45. Takes pictures 46. Circle spoke 48. Angry 49. A1 condition 50. Big, bad wolf 51. Residence gossip network 54. Declaration 56. Irish slurs 57. It would appear 58. Assured liveliness and panache 59. Egyptian goddess of fertility 60. Mistakes 61. Typhus’ prison 62. Heavy equipment

September 1 Solution


1. Bush’s Mideast peace plan 2. Actress Hathaway 3. Unapprehensive 4. Dressed like a superhero 5. Hydrocarbon radical 6. Not a boy 7. Distinctive period 8. Middle East residents 9. Regeneration 10. Marble 11. Cubed without corners 12. System of two 15. Addams Family butler 17. Pen. residents 19. Not happy 23. Against a proposal 25. Turn sharply 26. Greek columns 27. Rats

30. TIFF smoking actor Sean 31. Glorious victory 33. Simon _____ 34. Your education 35. Air force rallying point 36. Rougher 37. Product customer 40. Excess liabilities 41. Barkeep’s trade 42. Harry Potter 5 director 44. Plaintiff 45. Small explosive device used to fire explosives 47. List contents 48. Miraculous food from God 51. Gold-covered 52. Brown horse flank sprinkled with white or gray 53. Mastercard competitor 55. Golfing necessity

Sports Imprint


UW recruit impresses at Canadian Open

his tee into the fringe, the young man chipped to well within 10 feet of the hole. Again he staff reporter proved his skills by sinking the putt. After Victor Ciesielski’s tale is worthy of recogni- scoring a birdy on the 450 yard 14 hole, tion. Victor is a first-year recreation and leisure Ciesielski eased up and finished the first day studies’ student at UW, whose performance on at 2 under par. The second day Ciesielski finished even par, the September 4 opening day of the Canadian Open was nothing short of amazing. The first- and on the third round he fought his way to time PGA golfer scored an eye-popping 66 a one under par. That put him at three under in Burlington to qualify for the 102 Canadian for the tournament, tied with David Hearn Open, and he kept his ‘flame on’ shooting a 68- (Brantford), for the best score amongst the four Canadians to 70-69 through the first make the cut. 3 days of the tournaThe 21 year-old ment at the Hamilton “I’m missing frosh week amateur broke his gloGolf Club. Not an easy rious spell at the Open feat when up against at school right now, but I with a fourth round 77, 156 professional golfers from around the can’t imagine it being any and although that isn’t the greatest number to world. more fun than this.” go out with, the UW A Cambridge nagolfer still captured tive and graduate from — Victor Ciesielski peoples’ hearts everySt. Benedict’s High where. As Ciesielski School, Victor took told the Chronicle Herup the game of golf seven years ago; this was his first major ald, “I’m missing frosh week at school right championship. The Hamilton golf club course now, but I can’t imagine it being any more fun had seen its share of rain over the week and than this, it’s amazing!” Ciesielski’s caddy, J.D. Fitzgerald, also offered great playing conditions that Victor capitalized on. He faced his first challenge at made his presence felt on and off the course. hole 12, a 388-yard shot. After hitting his tee From following Ciesielski when he’s out with shot into the woods, Ciesielski took a drop friends to organizing his sleep schedule, and followed it by a third shot that rolled to Fitzgerald is a major part of Ciesielski’s suca stop within 10 feet of the hole. Sinking the cess. “He doesn’t let me out of his sight,” putt brought a smile of triumph to the bushy says Ciesielski, “he tucks me in every night, haired golfer, who raised a fist to the air in walks me straight into my room and puts excitement. Ciesielski’s enthusiasm was met me to bed.” with another road block as he faced another See RECRUIT, page 32 tough hole at lucky number 13. After hitting Salim Eteer

Upcoming varsity events Baseball

Sat Sept 16 Sat Sept 16

1:00 3:00

Western Western

Jack Couch Park, Kitchener Jack Couch Park, Kitchener


U of T

Birchmount Stadium, Toronto

1:00 1:00

Windsor Western

Sat Sept 16



Columbia Field #2

Sun Sept 17



Columbia Field #2


Sat Sept 16 Men’s Soccer

Sat Sept 16 Sun Sept 17

Columbia Field #2 Columbia Field #2

Women’s Soccer Sports Editor: Vacant Sports Assistant: Shawn Bell

Warriors’ football coach resigns Shawn Bell assistant sports editor

The Waterloo Warriors football team capped a horrid start to the 2006 season with the resignation of head coach Chris Triantafilou. In Tuesday’s announcement, Triantafilou cited family reasons as the reason for his resignation. “I have three beautiful young daughters at home … I want to be there for them,” Triantafilou said. “With a senior position open with the Athletic Department, now was the best time to begin the transfer to the next chapter in Waterloo Warrior football.” Triantafilou coached the Warriors for nine seasons, through the glory days of the late ‘90s, when UW won two Yates Cup championships in three years, to the recent struggles and three years out of the playoffs. The 2006 season began with optimism. With a fifth year starter at quarterback, one of the best linemen in the university game, and a highly praised batch of new recruits, the Warriors looked poised to make a run at their first playoff appearance in four years. There was hype; excited talk of returning to the Warrior heydays of the ‘90s. Then came week one. Windsor came to town on Labour Day and trounced the Warriors 42-

2. The Waterloo defence gave up 350 yards on the ground, another 146 in the air; the offence failed to score a single point. A thousand black and gold fans at University Stadium straggled home disappointed, with visions of last year’s 2-6 Warriors in their heads. Four days later the Warriors travelled to Hamilton and got trounced again, by Mac this time, 60-9. The Marauder offence scored a touchdown on their first possession. They continued to move the ball at will and finished the game with 352 yards on the ground and 299 in the air. Waterloo’s anaemic offence scored their first point of the season when Ian Nichol missed a first quarter field goal, and for the second straight game failed to score a touchdown. Now in week three, the next chapter of Warrior football begins. Long-time Triantafilou assistant Marshall Bingeman takes over the head coaching reins for the rest of the season, on an interim basis, while UW conducts a nation-wide search for a new head coach. The Warriors, with their 0-2 record, coach Bingeman at the helm, travel to Toronto on Saturday to take on the 0-2 Varsity Blues, who have not won a game since 2002.

UW tennis: pay to play

A trip to the Waterloo Tennis Club used to be free. Now, you must pay to play tennis. A valid Watcard is worth nothing to the tanned, vaguely blank, smiling faces at the tennis club. The only cards they accept are debit and credit. It does not seem long ago I played tennis for free at the Waterloo Tennis Club, inside the dome, on those fine dura-soft courts. $3000 tuition bills paid my way. The other day a friend and I went to play tennis. We had Watcards that read ‘valid until 2009’ but no cash. The lady at the Waterloo Tennis Club looked out the window as she spoke to us. “You can not play unless you pay. Those are the rules. Four dollars per person per hour. That is the price.” We pleaded and pouted and tried to win her pity. She looked out the window and shook her head. We went home disappointed. The next day we emptied the couch and found $2.50. At the tennis club a different lady, with the same distracted eyes, said, “$2.50 is not enough. It costs $4 per person for one hour.” Our Watcards drew only a blank glance. Again we went home disappointed.

“What if I played varsity,” my friend, angry, asked at home. “Would I still be treated with such contempt?” We changed our plaid shorts for starch white, put our wooden rackets in slick racquet cases with fancy name brands on the front, put tennis shoes in nice new gym bags and the next day, with Watcards in hand went back to the tennis club. “We are varsity tennis athletes,” I announced to a gentlemen working the front. “We wish to practise for the upcoming tennis season at UW.” With this I flourished my Watcard in one hand and looked, with my chin raised, down my nose at the man’s white collar. “That will be $8,” he said. I looked at him with a frown. “I am a varsity tennis athlete at UW,” I said, “I wish to use the courts.” The man looked at me with a blank look of contempt. “Surely, being a varsity athlete,” he said, “ you know that varsity tennis players must also rent the courts.” “Then there is no varsity tennis facility at UW,” I said to the man. “How is an athlete such as myself supposed to practise?” “Four dollars an hour” the man said with practised patience. “The fee is $4 an hour.” That was that. We never did play those fine clay courts. UW has no tennis facility, for students or for varsity. Once more, students must pay to play.

From the Sports Desk

Men’s Rugby

Sat Sept 16



Columbia Field #1

Wed Sept 20



Back Ten Rugby Field, Hamilton




Sat Sept 16



University Stadium

Sat Sept 16



University Stadium

Sun Sept 17



University Stadium

Women’s Rugby

Sat Sept 16

Friday, september 15, 2006

Field Hockey

I was handed the reins of sports editor, but the vacancies outweighed the committed and I had to find a team. So a team was found. Riggy the creative consultant pulled up a chair, rolled up his sleeves and with no notice sat down for late nights and no pay. Clive Peters surfaced from some hidden dregs to share his skewed version of the sports world. Salim Eteer added talent and much needed expertise and we hammered night after night to make the Sports Desk into a home. The fall term is prime time in the world of sport. From football to hockey, cross-country to curling, varsity teams of all flavours and styles fly the Warrior flag. UW has a plethora of fine athletes and top-flight varsity teams. In the issues to come we will bring you into their world, to pick their brains and explore what makes them tick.

For aspiring writers, the Sports Desk is your mecca. We’ll give you creative licence to write, for long hours and no pay, and in return you’ll step into the shoes of the great writers who have been before you. For it is a truth, both Hemingway and Hunter S. Thompson began illustrious careers as sports writers. As students you have a responsibility to support your athletes. Go to the games, paint your body black and gold, holler and scream and cheer the Warriors on. The support of the crowd is the intangible advantage crucial to the success of any team. We here at the Sports Desk will provide you the information you need to support your Warrior teams. The rest is up to you. — Shawn Bell


FRIDAY, september 15, 2006

This week in varsity sports

archive photo

Shawn Bell

Men’s Rugby

assistant sports editor

The Warriors opened the season with a dominating win over Toronto, scoring ten tries in a 66-7 victory.

Men’s Soccer

On Labour Day weekend the young Warrior soccer team opened the season with a 3-1 loss to McMaster, followed the next day by a 2-0 loss at Brock. Next a week two home match vs York brought the Warriors their first victory, 3-1. The victory was short lived, however, as Guelph visited Columbia Lake to close out week two and dominated the Warriors en route to a 4-1 victory.

Field hockey

The Warriors travelled to Toronto for a pre-season exhibition tournament. Four games later the Warriors had tied Guelph and lost to Toronto, York, and Carlton. In four games the Warriors did not score a goal.

Womens Soccer


In week one, McMaster handed the Women Warrior’s a season opening loss, 3-0, before Brock defeated the Warriors 1-0 the next day on a late goal. Week two saw York come to town. The Warriors, still unable to score, lost another close match 1-0. To close out week two, Waterloo found the net against Guelph. Shannon Wolfe and Jaclyn Huiskamp each scored, leading the Warriors to a 2-1 victory and a 1-3 record.

The baseball Warriors had a tough start to the season, dropping their opener to Mac 6-1, then losing both games of a double header to Guelph, 4-3 and 74. The Warriors won their first of the season against Laurier this past week, winning 10-1 behind Wes Koch’s six scoreless innings and a second inning grand slam by Scott Reynolds.

Recruit: hole-in-one Continued from page 32

Both players had excellent golf summers with Jud winning two club championships and Jimmy capturing the Men’s Ontario Match Play Championship.” Hollinger expressed his excitement about the two new recruits to UW golf. “Engineering student Jean-Samuel (JS) Rancourt brings an impressive golf resume with him from Quebec,” he said, “including a Club Championship. “Rounding out the new players will be Victor Ciesielski,” Hollinger continued. “Vic brings with him the most impressive resume of any golfer in the 49 year history of the program.

He is a Canadian Club Champion of Champions winner, a quarter-finalist at the Canadian Amateur, a course record holder at Galt Country Club with a 61 and recently a competitor in the Canadian Open where he made a hole-in-one and the cut.” Although Victor missed a mandatory meeting, he feels confident that he can get back on the team. “Hopefully they will let me come back and make that up sometime.” The tryouts are still in progress and the final eight will form the team that will hopefully cinch the title for the second year in a row.


Rugby East (Men) Team GP W L T PTS Queen’s 1 1 0 0 2 RMC 0 0 0 0 0 Trent 0 0 0 0 0 Brock 1 0 1 0 0 Toronto 1 0 1 0 0 Carleton 1 0 1 0 0 Rugby West (Men) Team GP W L T PTS McMaster 1 1 0 0 2 Waterloo 1 1 0 0 2 Laurier 1 1 0 0 2 Western 0 0 0 0 0 Windsor 0 0 0 0 0 Guelph 1 0 1 0 0 Mens Soccer (East) Team GP W L T PTS Toronto 4 4 0 0 12 Queen’s 3 2 0 1 7 Carleton 3 1 1 1 4 Trent 4 1 2 1 4 Ryerson 4 1 2 1 4 Laurentian 4 1 2 1 4 Nipissing 4 0 3 1 1 RMC 0 0 0 0 0 Mens Soccer (West) Team GP W L T PTS Western 4 3 0 1 10 Brock 4 2 0 2 8 Guelph 4 2 1 1 7 McMaster 4 2 1 1 7 Laurier 4 1 1 2 5 Windsor 4 1 2 1 4 Waterloo 4 1 3 0 3 York 4 0 4 0 0 Womens Soccer (East) Team GP W L T PTS Ottawa 5 3 0 2 11 Queen’s 3 3 0 0 9 Toronto 4 2 0 2 8 Carleton 3 2 1 0 6 Laurentian 5 1 1 3 6 Ryerson 3 1 2 0 3 RMC 2 0 1 1 1 Nipissing 5 0 4 1 1 Trent 4 0 3 1 1 Womens Soccer (West) Team GP W L T PTS Laurier 4 2 0 2 8 McMaster 4 2 0 2 8 Brock 4 2 1 1 7 York 4 1 0 3 6 Western 4 1 1 2 5 Football Team Windsor McMaster Queen’s Ottawa Western Laurier Guelph York Toronto Waterloo

GP 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2

W 2 2 2 2 1 1 0 0 0 0

L 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 2 2 2

T OTL PTS 0 0 4 0 0 4 0 0 4 0 0 4 0 0 2 0 0 2 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0



Saturday, September 16 vs RMC Paladins 3:00 PM UW North Campus





Saturday, September 16, 2006 vs UWO Mustangs, 1:00 PM Jack Couch Park, Kitchener

Saturday, September 16, 2006 vs WLU Golden Hawks, 9:00 AM Waterloo Tennis Club



Saturday, September 16, 2006 vs York Lions, 9:00 AM vs Queen’s Golden Gaels, 4:00 PM University Stadium Sunday, September 17, 2006 vs U of T Varsity Blues, 12:00 PM University Stadium

Saturday, September 16, 2006 vs Windsor Lancers, [M] 1:00 PM, [W] 3:00 PM UW North Campus Sunday, September 17, 2006 vs UWO Mustangs, [M] 1:00 PM, [W] 3:00 PM UW North Campus



Adrian Lui | [M] Rugby

Jaclyn Huiskamp | [W] Soccer

Adrian, a fourth year Kinesiology student from Oakville, Ontario, led the Warriors to a 66-7 win over the visiting Toronto Varsity Blues in front of 1800 fans for Waterloo's annual Black and Gold Day celebrations. Adrian scored two tries and made two conversion kicks for the Warriors. Adrian also played sound defense which enabled the Warriors to score off turnovers.

Jaclyn, a first year Science student from Peterburg, Ontario, scored the eventual winning goal on a great header from a corner kick to lead the Warriors to a 2-1 victory over Guelph on Sunday afternoon. In her first start as a Warrior, Jaclyn did not waste a pass, had excellent vision and made good decisions on the ball.

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