Page 1


MARCH 25, 2005

VOL 27, NO 32


Student heads to ACE Nationals Claire Mousseau

business detailing various aspects. The report was evaluated in categories detailing demonstration of context and need of service, success in target market, expression of vision and future plans, social responsibility, effective presentation and application ofleaming to enhance success, in which Fung and Lewis Media received top marks. These categories will also be part of the evaluation at the National level. At the ceremony, Rob Patterson, Senior Vice President of CIBC Small Business Banking, stated "A recent CIBC report predicted that Ontario will lead the way in small business growth this year. Entrepreneurs like Joseph are driving this growth and we arct:hrilled tobeworkingwithACE to recognize his tremendous success with


Joseph Fungis feeling confident. Having been named Ontario and Quebec's champion for the 2005 CIBC Student Entrepreneur of the Year contest, he is now gearing up for the national level ofthe competition, which will take place in Toronto on May 3 at the Advancing Canadian Entrepreneurship (ACE) National Exposition. "I wasn't too sure if! was going to win," Fung said. "But I am confident in my own abilities as an entrepreneur." Noting the publicity for his burgeoning WebAdmin service that comes along with the prestigious award, he has reason to fed so. Fung's award winning endeavouris a#_~tsoftware~

llCt"_~m tlWnfiiining rutd administering their website!'> without having to contractthc services of a webmaster. Fung and his partner Jeff Lewis foundedLe\visMcdiain2001 ino,rder to develop web sites and services for clients. The two have been working in the field ofweb design since 1995/96 and evolved the WebAdmin software from input they received from their clients as well as from their own experience in the field. Nominated inJanuary by his classmate-and current VP Education] effHenry and colleague Eric Solowka, Fung then participated in the intense application and screening process for the competition, which included a ten-page report on the state of the



A third-year student in computer engineering, Fung has found UW to be a school more supportive of the entrepreneurial spirit more than the practicalrealitiesofrunningaburgeoning business. "[U~1 has lots ofclasses [which are] great for people who want to toy with the idea. [But] there is little flexibility for students actually running a business." Within the framework of classes and exams, Fung fmds that "sometimes you will have a lot to do at work at the same time as exams," a sentiment that many students can sympathize \vith. See ENTREPRENEUR, page 6

Senate-at-Iarge race complete, disqualification overturned laura Katsirdakis IMPRINT STAFF

Weeks after the Feds election has been concluded, the ",mner of the senatorat-large race has fmally been declared l\fattAustinreceived themostvotes, but he did not officially gain the position because he was disqualified from the race by the chief returning officer, Brandon Sweet. Austin appealed the disqualification to the secretary of the university and on March 3, at5 p.m. the appeal was granted. "1 am pleased to confirm that you (Austin) have been elected to serve on Senate, term from May 1, 2005 to April 30, 2007," said Tracy Dietrich, executive assistant to the

secretary of the university in an email to Austin. \'7hen Austin failed to submit his campaign budget by the February 17 deadline, Sweet sent him a disqualification announcement. Austin explained that he approached Sweet in person on February 14 at a public forum, asking him for information about how to account for donations in his budget. Sweet sent an e-mail to all candidates on the evening of the deadline, asking them to submit their budgets. On the morning of the next day, Sweet sent Austin an e-mail notifying him that he was disqualified. Austin explained that he submitted an appeal ofthe decision on Friday afternoon, and thathe also reccivedanothere-

mail from Sweetprovidingtheinformation about the details ofhowtoconstruct the budget that afternoon, after the disqualification had been issued. In the decision of appeal, Lois

lIlt appears both

parties bear some responsi bility... " - Lois Claxton, UW Secretary

Claxton, the secretary of the university noted "Brandon Sweet confirms that, while he called other candidates to remind them of the deadline, he did not

call Austin but was unable to give reasons." In addition, "Austindefcrred submitting his budget and receipts pending advice from Sweetre: accounting for campaign donations, which information Austin understood Sweet was going to provide... " The decision concluded, "It appears both parties bear some responsibility for Austin's failure to meet the prescribed deadline." "Mr. Austin did approach me on the 14th while I was running sound at the final public forum. The statements were due on the 17th. If l\1r. Austin had concerns about his budget and the delay in communication, it was i\fr. Austin's procedural responsibility to follow up v.>ith the election committees, not the

other war around," Sweet said in an e-

mail. Sweet confirmed that "the onus is on the candidate to supply the elections committee ",>ith the required financial information by a strict deadline. This is outlined in section J.3 of the election procedure." "I think it is a little unreasonable that Brandon was selective with the candidates that he phoned," Austin said. The votes for senator-at-large saw Robert Kosztyla with 142, Da"vid Wheadeywith661 and Matthew Austin with 1198; 1119voters declined this category.


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FRIDAY, MARCH 25, 2005

What should I give you because, you are Irish? .

"Vengence because I hate you." Sarah Casey

NI'm going to cut your arms off." " Tim Martin

38 history

48 medieval studies

Across 1. Undecided jury 5. The fuzz 8. Like old bread 13. Deer-like buffalo 14. African religious belief 16. Monastery or convent 17. Dick and Jane's dog 18. Aci.lstomed 19. Above average size 20. Rudimentary picture de'\ 23. Contemptuous expression 24. Before, before 25. Female pronoun 28. The key event in Easter 33. Body vessel 36.Yankee Doodle's steed 37. The key to Cranium 38.,Useless in French 41. The top of Darwin's heap 42. Mushroom rings 43. Homonid species , 44. Catch sight of 45. Pinky 49. Mediterranean, for example 50. Indian bread 51. Wood files 55. Most UW students 60. Latin American dance periods of time 63. Mediocre

66. Digging" perhaps 67. COWlsels 68. Golfbit 69. Less than average tide Down 1. TfWlk fastening straps 2. Let down your hair 3. Poor little bug on the wall .. 4. Harvested before agriculture 5.. Engine hood 6. Reed instrument

31. Before the flat-screen 32 Woman's bosom 33. Drug bottles 34. Red-headed orphan 35. Thoroughly bronzeq 39. Turns out he ",-asn't murdered afterall 40. Undertheweather 41. Stir the air 43. Key mosque feature 46. 19608 folkrevivalistJoh~ 47. Make a mistake 48. Grape, dried

56. Shtck is one 57.SoW

~ ~



"A potato .. .is that racist?" MikeyOuffy 48 english

59. PaJIDdromK russ

"Some freshly squeezed leprechaun." Penny Michelle Rorke and Rebecca Temmer 48 science and business and 48 ERS and political science

26. To hoist 27. Related to your mother 29. The prominent point 30. Put into

Mark *lnnl~St1n ••. JlMRE

60. Blackpitch 61. Reverential salutation nmoogksoulis@imprint.u",-aterloo:ca

JIIIIla_ ~ .. Till Thanks to Julia Harries (5, 8 &final) and Michelle TItUs (1,2.3,4,6,7)

1. au116/04)" from either a man or woman is very sexy and should not be thought of otherwise."

5. aan 14/05) "Continue the cock and gendy sucking the head until he cums." ROT S G N K I.


"My damn lucky charms, you bastard." Seamus O'Hare

"[Expletive deleted]" Mark Kutlesa 48 kinesiology

3A gaelic studies

2. (Mar 26/04) "Heterosexual _____ was practised in many parts of the world, most often as a form of contraception."


48 economics

"Alcohol poisoning and a deep bucket." Andrew Skilling 48 kinesiology



3. (Nov 28/03) " 'that practice makes perfect, so kiss often and be kissed!"

"A pot of fucking gold." Chris Karaiskos

6. (Sept 26/03) "Guys need something to ______ ' to and Maxim is more coffee table worthy than Playboy since it actually contains articles and less nudity."

7. aune 4/04) " have been observed having what can only be described as orgies." SORPIPOSE

4. (Nov 7/03) "Let us all be _ _ housewives."

8. aan 14/(5) "Just because the 's gone doesn't mean you have to stop giving good head."



Final Quotation: aan 7/05) "Sexual contact isn't just _ _ it's a fusion of touching, tasting, grabbing, " sucking, moaning - and

FRIDAY. 1iARCH 25, 2005



The Trumpification of UW RobBiom IMPRINT STAFF

Introducing l)W Apprentice-partofthe EntrepreneUrs Association of Waterloo - a three day event, where four UW faculties go head-to-head in business competitions. The four teams, Destroy and Conquer (fvlath), Platinum (Science), RUSH (Arts) and BUlL (Engineering) had to utilize their competitive rivalry to best each other in a batde ofv.~ts and honed entrepreneurial skills. The event was k'ad byDerekNg, acting "Donald " Trump" and project manager, alongv.~th the help of his 11 volunteers. The first event held Monday, "Sales Rush," saw each tea.inapplyvarious sttategems to gain the most revenue by selling candy to bypassing supporters. Team RUSH, who finished first v.~th $279.52, placed themselves atTimHortons, and with determinationandpersuasionmanaged to sellalloftheir candy at high prices. Team Platinum, despite griping about their location at South Campus Hall, . worked as a team and combined their individual management skills. to place second with a total of $248.96.;ream BULL combined bribery, megaphones and carnival improv to sucker in students to pay for their cause and finished third with $178.33. Team DC, placing last and thus eliminating themselves from the competition, placed themselves beside Wasabi! hoping to gain momentum with heavier traffic and higher percentages of fellow Mathies to support their cause. Tuesday saw the remaining teams compete in "Service Crunch," an event based on service and quality located in Village One cafetej:ia. Hungry individuals were luredih by floaters to be waited on after a quick visit to the executive table. After the meal, UW students retumed to the executive table to rate the team based on numerous critl;lia. With a Sul"Viwr-like twist, the team who won ~ould need to 'vote out two members of their eightmember team, second-place had to remove three members and the last-place team,gettingthe harsh punishment of a 50 per cent cut. Eachteam tookonaspecific theme:Atrs,having



Zac Belson of Team BULL from engineering works his groove in an effort to sell sweets for UW's version of The Apprentice held March 21路23. come first in "'Sales Rush," chose Hawaiian, and happened upon the best location. With grass skirts, leis, miniature umbrellas and loud, over.whelmingisland music,Team RUSH ~ the highest average rating to take first for the second time in a row. Science chose Jack Astor's as their themeandsuppliedcustomerswith televised sports (among other things). However, they fell short and scored the lowestaveragetating,leavingthem the harsh choice of voting out four members. Engineering, being left with the. formal theme, combined professional looks, suave waiting, poiSe andaclassicalviolinisttocompef.e for the top sport, but found it difficult for theirviolinist to be heard over the loud Arts music. "He was just overwhelmed; I think Arts took an unfair advantage with their music," saidaconcemedBUILmember in the aftermath meeting with the executives. The

meeting discussed strengths'and weaknesses of every feamandled to an eventualballotvote to see who \vould backst2b the other.

Apprentice. I didn'texpectittoend this\\'lly;ifl h3.d to be dropped this early I would have at least have expected a stem 'YOU'RE FIRED!!!'" said Zac Balson after his removal from Team BUlL As a twist of fate, Ng asked Arts, the leading competitor, fora voluntt.'cr to undertake a difficult challenge. Saleh Elnabolsy stepped up to the task, and then \\<'as immeJiately forced to join Platinum, thus leveling out the field for tomorrow's finale, "The Boardroom" For \~'ednesday's results of OW Apprentice, visithtip://

WPIRG forums answer studerttquestions Alex Doukas IMPRINT STAFF

A series of forums discussing the Waterl~o PublicInterestResearch Group referendum have proven to be "woefully inadequate," according to one disappointed spectator Tuesdar. Monday's forumin theSLC Great Hall featured five-minute opening statements from 'Liam McHugh-Russell representing the No Team and Nic Weber representing the Yes Teani. Weberleftpartwarrh1:ough the debate to attend class. Although Mr. J\拢CHugh-Russell asked if any representative ofthe Yes Team would be\,~to step forward to field questions in Weber's absence, nobody accepted his inv1.tation. . "I'vealv.'ll)'S knmvn thatinsteadof$5 inmy back pocket, I've had an entire organization to support meifl chose to take action to help the community," McHugh-Russell began at the Monday forum. "Indirecdy, I've benefited because ofcleaner air and a better world. \Xo'PIRG's nationaicarpooling \vebsitemeans less pollution. The hard work ofthe Amnesty Intemauonal group means that lives have been saved, prisoners have been freed, and tyranny has been protested," he added. \'\!eberencoutaged studt.'1lts to iook atWPIRG's

finances. "[In 2002] \)i'PIRG collected $148,308 from students. Theyspent$90,417 onstaff,$19,615 on office space and $10,131 on union dues [to . Ontario PIRG]," he said. Weber also relayed an anecdote about a friend who was unable to receive his \)i'PIRG fee refund because he did nothave his studentcard. Weber said , that the student offered to log into Quest to prove his status as a student. The forum was opened up to questions from . the audience. \);!henaskedifhe believedin terminating refundable levies for other organizations such as Imprifttand CKl\IS, Weber said that he supported both groups, but would be open to a referendum on all refundable fees. . A forum-goer asked McHugh-Russell about thevalueof\,('PIRG. He argued that the refundable fee 'systemworks and asked Weberifitwas reasonable to expect that anyone couldwalkin and reccive a refund without photo ID validating their starns as a student. He also responded to the point that WPIRq spent $90,417 on staffin 2002, sa}wgthat\vithout those staff, the organization wouldn't be able to operate. Studentvoluntt.'etS-couldn'tkeep full-time officehours and commit themselves to the organization in the same way as paid staff, he said.

MPs from all three Canadian opposition parties coalesced this Monday to call on the federai govemment to end racial profiling in Canada. The efforts follow an announcement made earlier this month by Transport l\linister Jean Lapierrc, who told the House ofCommons that Canada is "developing a special fist to keep certain people offllights." MPs \yam that this is could be a terrible hindrance on the rights of several Canadians and claim they v.~ll ~vork with those Canadians to make their point. ''\Vewantto collect people's experiences ofracial profiling and preSt..'tluhem to Public Safety Minister Anne l\id.ellanu<7wcontinllCS to deny racial profiling ever happens," saiJ the NDP'sJ...ibby Davies, who has introduceJ a bill calling for a nationwide ban on racial profiling. Onarelatednote,Monday aIso saw the release of the Ipsos-ReiJ polJ, '\vhkh, sailly,suggqts that Canada is not as racism-free asweortenlike to think it is. Close to four million Canadians, ofCanadians said mey woWd never pursue a relationship with a person ofa different race, while 15 per cent said that a person's skin colour affects their workplace. Perhaps most harrowing is that seven percent, or 1.7 million Canadians, would notwe1comesomeone of a different race tolive next door to them. The executive director of the institute that commis-" sioned the survey offers that "this is a persistent and ongoing challenge that we face as a countty and we've got to remain vigilant." No kidding.


A five-year-old girl in Florida learned the hardwaynottobeanuisanceinclassanymore after her behaviour got her arrested, handcuffed and placed in thebackofapoliceauiser. Hermath class had been counting jelly beans when the young lady began acting up. After the teacher punished her by taking her jelly beans away, the girl became so enraged that she threw books around, smashed a candr dish, drew on the walls, kicked the teacher in the shins and struck an assistantprincipalin the stomach.. Local police were called and the little girl was detained for battery, her hands bound with plastic and her. ankles in cuffs. School officials are mortified over how the situation went, and the girl's mother is c~nsideringk-gal action. "She's never going back to that sch(x)l," she said. 'Tht.'}' set my baby up."

On Tuesday in his opening statement, Weber asserted that the referendum was notaboursaving \,\'PIRG. "We don't need $90,000 worth of salaries"tokeep\\'PIRGalive,hesaid.Heassertedthat \);'PIRG would still be a ...~ble organization if its staffwere comprised ofvolunteets. McHugh-Russell also discussed the fact that \);路'PIRG supported a referendum in January and attempted to bring the issue of refundable fees to 1'eds. "I thinkthatthisrefercndumisaboutdemocracy in a larger sense. \Xo'PIRG exists to promote many ofthe goals thata"\1.brant successful democracy are founded upon - informt.xi, reasoned debate, the ability to set the agenda, [and] empowWhy did a Belgian man currently on trial erment ofthose v.~th different ideas," he said. have sex with dogs? He claims he did it "Olltof At the time of the second forum on Tuesday, love for animals." The 36-year-old man - who U\X:" s radio station CKMS \\1iS showcasing its onair talent in the SLC. The organizt.'ts ofthe CKl\fS . once worked at an animal refuge and posted thousands ofpictures ofhimselfonline havDay event :\b>reed to tum dO\楼TI the volume for the forum tt.1>resentatives' opt.'fling statt."IDt."Uts, but ing sex with canines - told the court that he did it because he felt bad for the pups since so discussion could not continue after the music many of them can't have sex, especially when resumed.Asaresult,neitherparticipantcouldfi~d questions from the audience and onlytheiropening imp?unded. No word yet on whemer the men he is going to meet in jail will have sex with him statements were heard before the forum ended. for the same reason. A third forum, to beheld after press time, was . slated for Wednesday.

FRIDAX•. MARCH 25, 2005

Quotas not the way to increase women in political arena we'd love it if more women joined, but the number of Liberal memberships in my riding is not high relative 'to big-cityridings-wejustcan'tflnd more women \\~g to join. To meet the requirementwe'd simply have to reduce the size of our executive by kickingoffmen. Inrural Alberta, Liberals were aghast at this potentialpolicy.It's hard enough fonning a Liberal executive in southern Alberta let alone ensuring equal numbers ben.veen men and women! \'X'omen want more power on the executives? \Vell, let's look at the exec of the Young Liberals of Canada. It's .currently 52 per cent female. To meet such an obligation we'd have to kick out women to make room for more men. Is this what they want? It was interesting to hear female delegates at the convention speak against this policy. One \\'oman insisted, "I want to get, there on my own!" Another-a Young Liberaladded that she wanted to "get elected based on my merit, n%n my gender!" She received, thunderous applause. Establishing senseless quotes is insulting to women and implies that they're somehow unable to match the achievements ofmco uithout a handup. This isdegn.ding. aoo as a feminist and passionatebelievL'tin thecapabilities of women, I voted against this policy resohition. ItVi'aS defeated 452 34-. O

International \'XTomen's V/eek got me thinking ... about how involved women are in politics and whether we can be proud of ourrecord. Unfortunately, I think that the representation ofwomen in Canadian politics is sorely lacking-currently at 21. 1 percentand something needs to be done to fix this embarrassment. The issue was brought up at the recent Liberal biennial convention, where there was lengthy discussion on a proposed policy. The policy, if adopted, would have mandated all partyexecutives'.vithin theLiberalParty of Canada to be 50 per cent men and 50 per cent women. It would also set up a commission with the goal of ensuring a 50 I 50 gender split among federal election candidates. Now,I wholeheartedly believe there should be more women in the House of Commons - and in the Cabinet. I think the world would be a much better place if things were run by women. That said, I cannot support establishing fum quotas to forcibly and artitl.oalk int"huc the number of females on party executin.>s, let alone in Parliament. My localLiberalex.ecutive is over 80 per cent male. Believe me,

policy's proponents have us do?Xick· out incumbent Members of Parliament becapse they \vere' so unfortunate as to have been born a man? The party leader would be forced to appoint candidates to ensure enough women are nominated to meet the quota, a draconian action that trumps the democratic rights of grassroots members - they deserve to choose their local candidate for themselves. \'XTomen have the exact same opportunities as men to become election candidates. Perhaps women just aren't interested in running for office. How can things be improved? Most proposed ideas ineyitably violate some. body's rights, and this is unacceptable. Some women complain that pcopIe are more likely to yote for a male candidate - that men haye more access to money and have more power. So sue me! I didn't make it this way! Therecurrently exists a special fund Viithin the Liberal Party that is providing $2,500 each to 75 female Liberal candidates to help with campaign expenses. This is a good start to helping more females get elected. The other parties would be mse to follow suit. \\''hile I would be predisposed to nominate a female [can't

Mark Stratford IMPRINT STAFF

A loved and respected member of UW's graphics department was lost with thepassingofMaureenO'Brien, 59, on Wednesday, March 16. Maureen O'Brien spent 17 rears employed in UW Graphics, beginning her career behind the scenes of the department. She was first ctnployed as a bindery assistant, mainly working in the' book production area of graphics; for the last eight rears, Maureen seryed as offtce assistant and receptionist in the front office, allo"",mg her to work with members of the C\\' student body. O'Brien is remembered fondly MaureenO'Brien will be missed by her colleagues. "~iaureen was a by all for her strength and sense smiling face that greeted students of humour. and customers mth a cheery 'hello,''' wrote administratiye manager Betty U\V"s plant operations department, \X·arden. . as well as two children and three "Her thick Scottish grandchildren. brogue charmed all who dealt \\ith Her family \vas by her side last graphics; her friendly nature and week when she peacefully passed away commitment to customers will be at her home. sadly missed by the uniyersity comServices were held the moming of munityand especially her friends in Saturdar,~larch 19, at Our Lady of graphics." Lourdes Roman Catholic Church. ":Maureen's great wit, se~se of Memorial donations can still be made humour, stronguill for life and kind either to ,Mount Sinai Hospital or and compassionate Vi"a}'s will Se reGrand RiI,er Regional CancerCenmembered uiL'" said one of tte (}'Brieo·so::;...'%~c!'" on

ant, probvressive {n"t'lt,,.,nU'),n entering politics, let's hope that the

n,., "",." 5\!i between male and female candidates in a federal election, what would the

UW mourns graphics receptionist


Builu.m. O'Brien leaves behind her husbsod Hugh. i.; employed in




Fines doled out to both sides ofWPIRG referendum Bianca Tong IMPRINT STAFF

Three hundred dollars in fines have now been doled out tQ both sides of the WPIRG fee debate. All fees were meted out due to campaigning by both parties before the campai[Sn period, which officially started March 15. Comments printed in the March 11 issue of Imprin/were the basis for the majority of the complaints that incurred spending limit reductions, while other complaints required the teams to change supportingwebsit~s and wording on campaign posters. According to the Feds referendum mailing list, six, decisions were made by the Feds Referendum C..ommittee, which is chaired by Chief Returning Officer Brandon Sweet. On March 14, both the Yes and No teams were fined 15 per c,ent of their spending limits, or $75, for comments that appeared in the Imprint article "Allegations fly as referendum looms," \';ritten by Alex Doukas. In addition, the Yes Team was levied for co'mments made by Imprint opinion columnist Tom Levesque. His remarks were considered "likely to influence voters," and thus considered campaign material. As the campaign period had not started, the teams were deemed in violation of referendum procedure.

The No Team was ftned again on March 16 for pre-campaign period statements posted on a \,\'PIRG supporting internet \vebsite decision brought the No Team's spending limit reduction total to $150.

Comments printed in the March 11 issue of Imprint were the basis for the majority of the complaints that incurred spending limit reductions ...

Also with respect to websites, the Yes Team was ordered by the referendum cqmmittee to change its website www.wpirg:com "Regardless of any differentiation between \vhat the "wpirg" in the Yes Team's web address stands for and what the "wpirg" in the \,\Taterloo Public Interest Research Group's site stands for, the acronyms are identical and the Yes Team's use of it is in poor

taste." The website, preyiously an online petition to collect signatures, has since been changed. The Yes Team was also required to include on its FAQ at ww\, that the \,\'PIRG fee is refundable within the ftrst three weeks of the term. Other complaints dealt with the precise wording of statements made on· the Yes Team's posters around campus, due to their misleading nature. The word "Union" on their ',\'X'PIRGwastes your money" poster was ordered to be changed to "OPIRG" because, "the ftgure of $10,131.00 represented dues paid to an organization known as 0-PIRG", and according to the alleger 0-PIRG is, "a Federal registered charity that provides a number of services to PIRGs that choose to he members. It is not a union," according to the Feds referendum mailing list. The remaining complaints mandated that the WPIRG offtce could not be used as the No Team's headquarters during business hours. Offtcial decisions can be viewed at http:/ fedref/. The referendum takes place March 28-29, and students can vote onlineat I referendal.


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FRIDAY, MARCH 25, 2005

Entrepreneur: WebAdmin goes to the top

Modest about his entrepreneurial achievements, Fung looks forward to the national competition in May. Continued from cover \X/hat UW does do well, he added, is foster a spirit ofentrepreneurship in many students who will go on to operate their own businesses in the post-graduate world and play important roles in the business community. Networking is an important part of any business, and Fung hopes that he will be able to make many important contacts at the ACE National Exposition. Also attending ~ obviously be Fung's competitors from the western and eastern divisions: Cara Moeller of Calgary, founder ofBeatit Dance and World Class Dance, and Jonathan DeYoung of New Glasgow, founder Beat it Dance is a summer dance club for participants

ages 12 and up that includes activities such as language and etiquette classes. World Class Dance is a company operating within the chain of World Health Clubs. LollygaggerU .com is a book-~elling system that allows universityand college students to buy, sell or exchange new and used textbooks either'through the mail or on campus. Fung highly respects the accomplishments of his, competitors and knows that, regardless ofthe outcome in May, his own achievements will remain undiminished and he will continue with his highly successful endeavours. For more information on WebAdmin and Lewis Media, visit

Feds .shouldn't weigh in on referendum

Certain pundits would rather see this column become "Feds \Vatcll," where eachweekI pick the actions apart ofour beloved student union, exposing their inner workings for all to see. Honestly, the activities of our student union are too ephemeral: often changing and always short-lived. Today's crisis is often forgotten by the rime tomorro\\?s paper hits the ne\vsstands. I would rather address underlying principles of business in this column - it is merely a convemencethattheFedsillustratesome of these principles in their day-to-day activities. Recently, however, the Feds have done something worthy of attention. So today, the pundits v.dllgetthcinvish: welcome to the :March 25 edition of "Feds \'\;'atch." Today'sissue: Fedsreferenda. Now, the Feds' behaviour when it comes toreferendahasneverbeenstellar. Honesdy, did noborfyhonestlynoticethat the Feds' o\vn marketing department supported - if not ran entirely - the recent "vote dental" campaign? Those black and yellowposters are sttaightout ofthe Feds' marketing templates! "Ull, yeah, so we're the ones running the referendum and are supposed to be impartial, but well, uh, screw it." It may not be sw:prising, then, that this is the same Feds whose student council decided to take sides in the upcoming WPIRG referendum. Yes, let that sink in for a minute. The body charged overseeing the fairness andimpartialityin areferendum took sides.

• Saving children's lives, one heart at a time Sabrina Bowman IMPRINT STAFF

Giving the gift of heart surgery is the primary focus of a campaign being conducted over the next couple of weeks. \X'IPAC, along\vith various other campus, groups, has a booth set up in the SLC from March 15-30 where you can help children who need heart surgery. They are raising money for

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Save a Child's Heart, which sends children from around the world who 'need heart surgery but can't get it in their home country to Israel, where cardiac surgeons perform the surgery. The Israeli charity also helps train medical professionals across the globe in cardiac surgery as well as general medical practice. The booth will be selling a paper heart for a recommended donation of one dollar. The heart is then signed and attached to a large banner. The banner and the money wiiI be sent to Save a Child's Heart. "As students in a western country like Canada .. , we are privileged to have access to universal health care, but there are those that are less fortunate," said \1V'IPAC president Tomer Chervinsky. "We have an obligation to help those less fortunate than us ... not to mention the personal satisfaction of knowing that you personally have done something to save a life," he added. WIPAC is the main co-ordinator of the event, but it is being co-sponsored ,by the U\V International Health and Development Association, the Sociology Society, the Psy-

chology Society, Smiling Over Sickness, \Vaterloo Christian Fellowship and the Planning Student Association. Steve Szostak, co-prcsident of Smiling Over Sickness, commented that "our mandate is to help sick kids and kids with disabilities. \'<;'e are willing to help any cause to help sick kids ... in my mind, [Save a Child's Heart] is a cause where the majority of money will go to the cause, not adminsitrative costs." Szostak also noted that initiatives like Save a Child's Heart are an opportunity for campus groups that have similar goals to work together and share some responsibilities, while contributing to a good cause. Chen'insky said there are primarily t~vo goals for the fundraising event. "Our primary focus is to help the children who are in dire need of care. Additionally, we're hoping to show people another side of Israel that they might not normally see in media." For more information on WIP AC visit the website ww'

To illustrate how ludicrous this is, imagine walking into the first day of a court case where the judt,>e opens the proceedings by noting 'Just so you all know, I fully support the defend~t in today's trial. However, \ve have to go through these proceedings, so I promise they'll be fair and impartiaL" Yeah, right. Y ou'yealready stated which partr you side Fair? Impartial? Out the window. ''But Andrew," you say, "thereferendum committee is completely separate from students' council."\'\'ell, no. First, its membership is directly chosen by council. Second, the chiefretumingofficer (CRO) is an employee of the Feds executive - the same Feds executive who are accountable to students' council. Think of it as theCRO's boss' boss telling him -publicly - the outcome of a certain issue that they would like to see. Impartial? Cnbiased? Somehow, I see compromise. Or, how about another popular bit ofrhetoric, as reflected in the statement byartscouncilorPatBorrelliin the~ian:h 18 Illip/iilt story: "if you feel that the reason \"OU were elected was to make informed responsible decisions on behalf of your constituents, I urge you to vote." Though Feds bylaws do charge councilors with participatingin thedecision-makingprocess, the keyword here isiliformed. NeithercouncilorBorellinor at!)'ofthe arts councillors- those who claim torepresentmyvie\'\-'Satcouncilhad come to ASC meetingsbeforehand to discuss this issue "ii>;lm tht.1rcomtiruents. The WPIRG issue has been on the table for many months, but there had been no public consultation in tI!J faculty. Did any happen in yours? This despite the requirement, again enshrined in the Feds' bylaws, that "councillors must report regularly to their faculty, societyorresidencecouncil ... at society

m(.'CUngs orin socicryn(.'\\'Spapt.'ts."\\lrh whom wcrc c()uncilors con~ulringifnot \\ their consrituents~ That councilors took siclesis nmonly ludicrous,itisillogicai. Ho\\·coulda \'ore supporting one side ofa referendum be seen as fairly representing thesudem body?Surelyweare di\'ided on thcissue, Ifwewereunitedin supporting one side ofanissue-which we dearlyare not, in thecaseoftheWPIRGquestion-why wouldwehayeareferenduminrhefirst

place? Fmally, I must address the bit of rhetoricthatIsimplyrefertoasthe"copout." It's the suggestion that the Feds took sides \vith the ":'\0" campaign because the "Yes" side "did not represent a viable solution to the problem of refundable k."Cs." Of course it did not represent a solution. Thai lJ'llJ' NflW' tbt question Oil the table.~'The \XFIRG referendum asks whether stud(,'nts ~UPP()rt the termination of the \X'PIRG levy, period. Instead, council built up a straw man made ofrefundable fees and joincd the "No" team in order to knock it dm,vn.l was lil1the Feds committee rl1at de:<'Jn.1.ith rcfund:lble fees two years ago. Irs R'CO!T'.mendarions haye more to do withhowtobetterfacilimtcn.>fundsthan thcydo\\ wheth';l'Otnonne \XFIRG should exist. The cop-out is a poorly reasoned argument. Before this column doses, howeyer, it must be noted that not allcouncilors are responsible for the recent referendum travesty. To malh coormtX Davld \,\nl.'aucy, the otht.'t six councillors who opposed the motion and the one abstainer: thank you. Cnder pressure, you have respected the diversity of ,,-iews held byyourconstituents. Here's hoping that your peers mar learn from you yet.


FRIDAY. MARCH 25, 2005


Requiem for a news source work for a news source is small. As it is, it's not unheard of for students to work across media. On the other hand, a diverse media offers the chance to foster differing goals and perspectives on campus. Doors that may open for one source are closed to another. It was with a tinge of melancholy For the longest time before that I read last week about the, the campus was domipending demise of the UW student nated by tWo main news oudets: Imnews website, located at print and The r:;af(!tte. The former, run Granted, as of this by volunteer journalists with assistwriting, the Damocles sword still ance from a few paid staff, was the hung over the web site. Should official ~tudent oudet. The latter, pubnoone have stepped forward by lished out ofwhat it now the Office of March 22, the website is effectively Communications and Public Affairs, dead. Either way, what I have writoffered an in-depth look at the camten here is still relevant. pus from an administrative viewpoint. tlwstudent.orgwas founded in 1999 Granted, The Gaf(!ttewas given editoas an alternative to the traditional media rial freedom, but it's difficult to let that available to the UW community at the . happen when the staff are on the UW time. Unlike Imprint, The Gazette, The payrolL Iron Warrior or even MathNEW'S, Regardless of.the The Gazette's offered a dynamic web gins, I was nonetheless saddened when coi:nrnunity that was constandy'upit ceased publication lastJune and was dated. Unlike the official DaifrBttlletin, . officially killed last October for ftnanposted every working day on the UW' cial reasons. You would think that as website,uwstudent.orgoffered the coma member and contributor to Imprint, , munity the chance to react to printed I would be glad to see it g0, but I felt stories and to hold debates, relevant or the opposite. . otherwise. At the time, lviartin Van Nierop, Hawng multiple media on a unithe director of C&PA promised that a vetsity campus can be a fIne balance. new website would be re-launched On one hand, for a school without a with updated content to essentially journalism program, the pool of stuprovide The G~tte online. Since the dents both talented and willing to same department is responsible for

revamping the main UW site, The Gaf(!tte online has been continually bumped. The latest date rumoured is May 1 for the site to go live. I was equally disappointed with the loss of Where else . would students be able to be a part of a community of UW news junkies, willing and able to debate the latest UW issues, campus or otherWise? Here atlmprint, thep&ennial projectis torclaunch the website \\>1th interactive features, but time and a lack of able volunteers rurve prevented this. Frankly, the death of was not a surprise. After a gende decline last fall, the site went into a tailspin following what was perhaps the liveliestFeds election cQvetagein Feb-

ruary. What might the future hold? The Internet has gone through rapid changes since 1999. Blogs seem to be popping up all over the place. Woos offer dynamic web editing. And somewhere in Newmarket, someone is inventing something else. Who knows, what a dedicated group of students might come up with? This time next year, I would hope that Imprinthas ancwwebsite and that the G~tteonline has finally appeared. I'd welcome any other reputable site with open ~s. The more the merrier, I say. .

A~diflg leadership, "bursary fund 'uncertainty Feds vice president education Jeff Henry and former Imprint president Jesse Helmer, among others.

Christine Loureiro IMPRINT STAFF

Israel Week promises charity drive and food for all • The Waterloo-Israel Public Affairs Club presents Israel Week beginning l\farch28;kickingoffwithafree Hukkah lunch at 12:30 p.m. on the Bomber patio and a "Peace by Piece, Peace is Possible" cake giveawayat2:30 in the SLC, a celebration of24 years ofpeace with Egypt. "Israeli Culture Weekis.acelebration ofIsraeli culture and the values it shares with Canadian culture, such as multiculturalism, tolerance, democtacy, and family," said W1PAC president Tomer Chervinsky. Other events include aSave a Child's Heart charity drive on March 30 and Shabbat dinn~r (co-hosted by theJ ewish Students Association) for $5, as well as a day of mourning for all victims ofArab-Israel conflict on April t ',\Ve're most excited about the opportunity to celebrate a fun, vibrant, and diverse culture here at u\V,and to show people just how similar Canada and Israel really are," said Chervinsky.

, Feds leadership awards deadline extended Feds President Becky \X'roe put out the call for leadership award nominati:ons earlier this month, asking students to "nominate any and all undergraduate students who you feel have shown their leadership skills, contributing to student life on or off campus. ''These awards present an opportunity to recognize students who have volunteered their time to making the student life experience a better one." The deadline for nominations is March28 at 4:30p.m., extended from March 24 due to technical difficulties that impaired the Feds from notif} students of the awards earlier. Forms are availaqle in the Feds offtce and at Completed nominaFuture of successful bursary tio~s are to be returned to W roe in the fund in limbo Feds offtce Qr via e-mail. The future of the Ontario Student According to Wroe, "the students Opportunities Trust Fund (OSOTF), who are selected will be invited. to a a program that has. helped UW raise reception ... where they wjll be preover $3 million for bursaries thanks to sented \\>1th awards and be able to prmi.ncial government pledge matchmingle with other student leaders on campus, as well as some administra- , ing, hangs in the balance. , . Since March 27 ,2003, OS01Fhas tion of the university." vowed to match each dollar pledged to Previous winners include current

universities for financialassistanceuntil December 31, 2005, while extending matching until 2011 to allow pledge commitments to be fulfilled. According to Patricia Bow of Communications&PublicAffairs, "The program has beenagrt.>athclp to {;'\X' fundraisers working to encourage private donors to support awards and scholarships." However,inJuly2004,theprmi.ncialgovernmentannounced thatitwas considering changes to OSOTF, and would not guarantee that pledge matching would continue past March 2005. "In other words, the matching might stop, or it might not," Bow wrote in UW's Dai!)' Bulletinon M~ch 18. OnJanuary 2,in a letter to Minister 'ofTraining, Colleges and Universities 1fary Anne Chambers, UWPresident DavidJ ohnston ~'Tote that the change "was, to say the least, a blow to our ability to increasingly provide adequate student financial support, particularly for our lower-income students." UW also fInds its fundraisingabilities hampered by the size of its allQtment under OS01F, $8.95 million out of the total $400 million allotted by the government. UW is asking the minister to redistribute the allocations by using a ~atio based on the number of inconiing students, providing OSOTF funds of$50 million per year on a pennanent basis. The fate of OS01F will be revealed when the provincial government tables its next budget. - with files from Daily Bulletin




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FRIDAY. MARCH 25, 2005


Four million years since bipedal glory

UN brings hope When the United Nations comes up in conversation it is often assumed that this international body is a wellintentioned but ineffective one. When grand schemes like the 1'vffilenium Development Goals (MDG) are announced by the UN, I don't think I am alone in regarding them with an ''I'll belieVe it when I see it" outlook. This past Monday, UN SecretaryGeneral KofiAnnan delivered a fiveyear progress report on implementation of the MDG to the General Assembly. His statement, which introduced the report, was a bold one asking member states to adopt an action plan that will make the MDG ideals reality by 2015. . Annan's proposals inspire hope. They call for action on the entire package, rejecting the idea of approving some of the ideas and discarding oth"ers. The report, which can be found at,recommends that the goals of security, development and human rights be forwarded with equal fervour. A press release explained: "Humanity will not enjoy security without development, it will not enjoy development with. out security, and it will not enjoy either without respect for human rights." A comprehensive pa<!kage ofchanges to the structure of the UN, including replacing the Commission on Human Rights with a smaller and more authoritative council, aim to make the UN more effective in achieving these goals. . Another proposal in the report recommended changing the sttuctqre of the UN to reflect the reality ofthe international sphere as it exists today. In Annan's statement to the General Assembly, he said, "I urge member


states to make the Security Council more broadiy representative of th~ intematiofU!l community as a whole, as well as the geopolitical realities of today." Annan concluded his statement by saying, ''I have deliberately spared you any flights of rhetoric. This hall has heard enough high-soundingdeclarations to last us for some decades to come. We know what the problems are, and we all know what we have promised to achieve. What is needed now is not more declarations, but action to fulfill the promises alr~ady made." This is, in my mind, a breath bf fresh air. I can only hope that the UN members choose to follow t:?is plan to further security, development and human rights. Annan expressed hopes that member states will deCide in favour of the report at the global summit that will be held in September. Annan's proposal has been called a landmark report, but it has also been speculated that the report is aimed to deflect criticism of corruption within the UN. The results of the proposals, should they be implemented, would be monumentally beneficial Frankly, Idon'tcareifAnnariorhisinnercirde are motivated by less than shining \llorals. Nothing but good can come from strengthening the organization that can potentially have some real \veight in the advancement of human rights worldwide. Annan's proposals also call for the adoption ofa definition for terrorism. "Any action constitutes terrorismifit is intended to cause death or serious bodily harm to civilians or non-combatants with the purpose of intimidating a population or compelling a government or international organization to do.orabstain fro~ doing any act" If nothing else, this will be very interesting to watch.


Friday, Mareh 25, 2005 Student Life Centre 1116 University ofWaterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1


As I do pretty much eve&}' morning, I look up and lock eyes with George Stroumboulopoulos. His billboard image peers down pityingl.y, as I grasp desperatelyatsomething,anything(my ~logies, sir), for stability as the bus jerks forward through the slush andiceladen streets; on this, another beginning to another work day for me. Having forgotten my MP3 player and not being foolhardy enough to risk tumingmyeyestoanewspaper(George's ga7.eis my sole anchor), I'm instead left ,to ponder the difference four million yearsmakes.Earlierthismonthinnortheast Ethiopia, the bones of the oldest bipedal hominid to date were discovered. The four-million-year-old specimenprecedcsevenLucy,the famous 3.5million-yeat-oldAustmlopitheatstfarmsis named after the Beatles' song (looking not a day over two million, thanks to L'oreai-:-becauseshewasworthit).But since Mr. Four :i'vfillion hasn't yet acquiredacatchymoniker(unlikethethoroughly dignified cognomen "hnOOits" bestowed upon last year's 18,OOO-yearoldsmall-statureddiscovery), fIlletLucy represent all pre-humans in the gross anthropologicalmisstatementsandconvenient, baseless conclusions I'mabout to manufacture. AnthrOpology fascinates me. As I stand on this bus embedded in rushhour traffic, I can't help but wonder if this is what our ancestors had in mind when they first straightened theirbOdies to stand in theirhipedalgiory. So we've achieved fourmillion years ofprogress, eh? Let's compare and contrast: Lucyoncereached topluckfruitfrom trees, her fingers dosing in on lush, satisfying offerings. Millions of years later, I echohermovements,reachingup to grasp at the just-out-of reach bar on the.bus,fingertipsbrushagainstthecold metal but unable to\\'tllP around-I'm

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left unsatisfied and unstable. (I canhear the sadistic chuckle of bus designers everywhere,laughingheartilyatthisrunning joke on us, the literal underdogs, the vertically impoverished.) Where Lucyonce set bare feet onto luscious grass, treadingsteadil.y and determinedly across fertile'land toward ever-sunnier pastures, I stumble offthe bus in my salt-marred boots, highheeled tortured feet striking die grimy floors of the subway station, almost sprawling into my fellow commuters. WhereLucyonceroamedfreely,unencumbered in the fresh air under a warm, sublime sun, I squeeze into the tubularmoshpitknownas the subway, perchedawkwardly,intimately between Overly-PerfumedWomanandthearmpitofHygienically-OlallengedMan(conveniently at nose-level- the laughter resumes), with purses and l~ protruding like an un-umonizedcamd.

bowels of Totonto's financial district (whereelsecanyoufindcorporatee.xecutives standing behind lowly co-op studentswaitingforthe samedouble-double?), I ruminate (sulk) over how much has changed since Lucy'S time. They think (lSn't it great how by slapping in "tlrey," an instant air of authorityisachieved)thatpeoplecrossed the Bering Land Bridge from what is nowSiberiaintotheNewWorld,simp~'

fOllowing the fOOd, "''ithout any grand designs or illusions, not after "a better life," just aftera better meal. This thought comfOrts me, makes mefeelaspecialbond,aconnectionwith . ancestors past, despite our differences. Like them, I'mhungryandin search of sustenance. Like them, I fol1owmyherd (of business people, marching, always maoching,encrustedinelecttonicgizmos beepingintermittently to remind them . that being in one place at one time is a huma.'l~thatwon'tbeoverlooked).

... four million years of progress, eh? Let's compare and contrast.

like them.. I knrn&' not what I'll find . (fimmy's ha"w has been unpredictable oHate - sometimes stale. SOtTh:.'1imes

fresh,sometimestooth-achingiysmccm.rine, sometimes bitter like Alan Keyes over hisdaughter's sexuality) bud have faith enough to continue my joumey.~laybe this is why the study of anthropok~' fascinztesmeso-theidea

that'Rttre. cnrnt«:n.'"Il 1%3 ~ "ito Where Lucy frolicked amongst the wildflowers, or whatever there was to frolic amongst, I try my damdest to avoid beingttampled by the mad surge of bodies gu~hing from trains into the elaborate labyrinth (orcurlystm.v,ifyou prefer) ofthedownto\\'Ilcore. Forthose unfamiliar\\jth thearea, thereisanatmal ebb and flow to this river of str.esstested, hand-packaged, pin-striped humanity; going against it ffiea!1S certain death byshiny Italian shoes (not pretty - the death that is; the shoes themselvesarequitenice).\~'hereLucyhadthe

bount:yofthelandforbreakfast,hersfOr the taking, I head frantically toward my one salvation, my beacon of hope on this dreary work-a-day moming-my Tim Hortons. Standing in line at what is not only a fast-food enterprise but a grandsocialequalize:rintheundetground munity Newspaper .\ssociation


lived millions of years ago; that the potential to become almost anything existed butthroughsome seriesofshapingevents,biologicalandotherwise, we became \\no we are today; and that throughsuccessivediscoveries, wemay one day gain an understanding of how we came to be. Then again, maybe I justlikeindulging in fantasies about a simpler time, before rush hours, mass transit, and alarm docks - when a simple hobbit couldadueveherone\\ishwithoutrude interferencesfromherheroandwithout worryingaboutbeinglateto hermomingmeeting.Shhh ... listen,and youcan almost hear her heart's desire, fourmillionyearsin the rnaking: "Triple triple," she whispers, "andmakeitextralarge.~' s! standards.

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Next boatd meeting: Monday, Man:h 28 4 p.m., SLC 1116

Next staff meeting: Monday, March 2&, Friday, April 1 12:30 p.m., Sl.c 1116 Next production night: Wednesday, Man:h 30 5:30 p.m., SLC 1116




The back turned to the faithful Imagine'this: You and your family are ·out on a vacationatalargeskiresort,enjoyingyourMarch break. You are gready enj oying your time together when, suddenly, the worst happens : your brother (or sister) collapses due to a heart attack and, tragically, dies. Imagine what it would be like sitting in the hospital after hearing the news, making arrangements for a funeral, having to phone and tell your friends and relatives what happened. Now, imagine that, after making all these arrangements, you are told that you cannot hold the fun~ralinanyCatholicchurch or chapel within the local district. The faith to which your brother and your family has subscribed to for as long as you can remember turns its collective back upon

you in your time of grie£ rathe.tshady and disreputable andhad turnedmto well-established gay bars which have been deSadly, this situation is the current reality ofone scribedas "trendy andbip" and acknowledged as family in San Diego. John McCusker died at the age of31 last week, and the resulting sequence of two ofthe best bars locatedm the San Diego area. ·By all description, these bars are the sort of place events has the local community seething. Considering the San Diego Catholic Church youcouldtakeyourmother,especiaIlycoosidering McCuskerwaspraisedbytheheadoftheGreater has just turned away a family ofits own followers, San Diego Busmess Association as a great leader you would think that they must have a justifiable who gave much to the community. reason for it - especialfy considering Rodrigo Valdivia, the local Chancellor, said he could not , So, what exactly did Bishop Brom et at find wrongwith these two bars? Three things: 1) One remember any other case of a Catholicmdividual being refused the funeral rites. ofthe bar's advertisements included such slogans as ''Real Men, No Rules'" 2) Porn stars were According to Valdivia, John McCusker was scheduled to appear at an event,at the bar (not denied a funeral by Bishop RobertBrom "in order necessarily perform, mind you) and 3) A porn to avoid public scandal .. [due,to] his business video cites one of the other bars as where it was activities, which were contrary to SacredScripture filmed. and the moral teaching ofthe chw:ch. The Bishop That's it. They even felt the need to stress that acted as he did so that the faithful would not be'taboutJohn McCusker's sexualorientamisled and erroneously conclude that the Church condones actIvities such as those included in the • tion. Is racy advertising and lending out a location tootherbusinessesreallyworthyofdenyingafamily businesses ofMr. McCusker." their right to mourn the loss of a family member? John McCusker's ''business activities" were Perhaps more concemingis the declaration by two bars which he had bought when they were

Valdivia above that the Roman CathoficChw:ch will provide funeraIsonly forpeoplewhoseactivities they condone. One would then be left to assume that they therefore condone the actions of people like John J. Geoghan. a Roman Catholic priest who was defrocked after being accused of sexual abuse by ovc:;r 130 people, many ofwhom werechikiren. Geoghan, whose actions cost the cltw:ch $10 million mout-of-court settlements (so far), received full funeral rights. John McCusker, a respected local gay businessman, did not. The utterly contemptible and morally bankrupt actions of Bishop Brom and the other religious officials involved aside, the focus here has to be on the family ofJohn McCusker, who have been deserted by the faith theyrelied upon. Thankfully, the local community has turned outin force, giving support to the family whose son and brother was generous in fife. Hopefully, this support will be enough to fill the void

Chivalry'S not dead, it's just lying in a gutter somewhere was that everyone had a different idea of what a~yconstituted"chivalry"andwhatitwasfor.

Last summer a bunch ofmy friends and I were retumiflgfromaclubwearingfaitlyniceclothes. We were in a van, ~d as so of~en happens with students, we were short one seat. One of my lady friends happened to be the one fon:ed [0 £iron the floor - in a dress. Thinkirigit to be the right thing to do at the time, I offered her my seat. ''Why? Because I'm a girl?" she snapped at me. I was putin the unenviable (but familiar foraheteromale) position ofansweringacontentiousquestion put forth by an angryw,?man. I didn'twanttomake her even more angry, but mom raised me to be honest. "Uh ... yes?" I meeky replied. Sincethen,I'vebeen thinkingalotaboutchivraly. Overthepastmonth,I'veasked friends, coworkers, men, women andwomyn about their thoughts on the subject. I wanted to see ifthere was some belief thatalmosteveryonehadincommon,ifI could put together some "Grand Unified Theory of Chivalry." Not surprisingly,: I haven't gotten very far! One ofthe most interesting things to come out ofmyinfonnalandhighlystatistically-flawedsurvey .

Themostcynicalmenresponedsimply, ''Chivalry is dead,"whilethemostcynicalwomen saidsome'thing along the lines of "chivalry was men payingearlyinthedate for something he ~­ pects-andcertainly isn't going to get later on in the night." l~thewom:thing ,


to meet several such'\\'omen after the publication of this column. Nay, the bestdefinitionofchivalrywasgiven to me by a good female friend of mine and it went something like this: <'Chiwb:y is about showing

Last week I took the RideSafe van home. ·1 purposefully signed up last because I don't really mind 'wairinti around the si.c an extra hour. As

coincidencewouldhave it, I got the lone remaining open spot. AboutiweminU1e$J-


men ru:OO to learn is to give their

~anopportunityso shecanalso show she

this is Wi~ col so: is for. Ifshewasn'tdtivingacarat therimeshewcdd have also kicked my ass.

ares for him" I man ~'Xi upWfie

and was disappoin~ toOOdthevanidH~


l::m2y man over _ i:to 1&1, Htw:i the!

was &

15 not their rtq;an'lWlty buttheiruttL"tsimplicity: one banal statementlikethatandchivalry doesn't deserve a second thought. One of the men I askedsaidthatchivalry was PragJIlatic; he~­ ferred to his physical strength and claimed he would make a betterpack-mulethanhis (hypothetical) girlfriend. Since one of my female friends once said ''Women's equality goes out the window when there's something heavy to carry" there may be something to this thought, but does it count as

been a tiny worn-an weighingnomorethan 90 pounds, I' would have given up my seat for her. Would that have. been chivalry? Mostpeoplesayno,it's just a reflection of the sadrealitythatit'smore dangerous for a woman to walk home CLAIRE MOUSSEAU than a By the same token, I argue that the whole "physical strength" thing isn't chivalry either - it's pragJIlatism. I'm not callingwomenweak;Iknow(frompastexperience) severalwomenarecapableofkidcingmyass.Iexpect



. whatworks foryouand thepcopleyou tend to date. That doesn't sound very helpful. but KL>ep this~in mind: themostimpbrtantpartis the caring, not the action. Men paying for dates is a throwback to the days \vhenmen were theonlypeoplewithmoney. I.uckilythathaschangedSomewomenwouldfind . a man paying for their dates all the time belittling. Somethingthatmostpeopleagreedonexplicitly orimpficitlywas that there is ~ set standard to liveup to anymore; thegenderrOles haveloosened agreatdealA yearagoI planned towriteon the topic and bemoan the ambiguity this creates, however I later realized that\\'i.thambiguity comes freedom. Today we have the freedom to show that special someone we care and do it in our own way.


A practical guide to the two-dimensionaI political spectrum

Politicians, pundits and news anchors toss around te~ology that some people don't fully understand. ~'hen words have double meanings or change in mearungover time, it' s no wonder there is such confusion. I'm certainly not an expert, but I will share my lnsight. W'hy do "liberals" restrict free speech? Who are these "red tories," "so-cons" and "libertarians?" In order to explain these concepts, we need to measurepoiiticalideologywithtwoparameters -personal (or social) freedom and economic (or fiscal) freedom.

levels ofpersonal freedom while social conservatives, or so-cons, believe in restricted personal freedom, often based on moral religious arguments. This first measure ofpolitical ideology is often very contentious. Issues such as abortion, gay marriage and freedom of speech dominate. If you are pro-choice, you support a woman's right to have an abortion and are socially liberal. If you are pro-life, yoh are a so-con. One's position on personal freedom tends to be rather interesting. Conservatives and some church groups, for example, are typic~ally sociall};, conservative. But since such people normally defend their right to speak out against gays and abortions, they support free speech - a socially liberal position. Conversely, liberals often attack free speech in Canada in response to pressure from gay groups and to serve the double purpose of attacking political opponents like conservatives and Christians. When choosing a politi-

make a "pact with the devil;" that is to say, they must join with social conservatives to defend free speech while ignoring the underlying mtent ofimpeding gay rights. Does intent matter? Economic freedom is easier to understand but still hot \\ debate. Fiscal conservatives, wanthigh levels of economic freedom (low taxes and loose regulations) while "fiscal liberals" (this tertn is not often used) tend to want larger government and higher taxes. Some people believe that fiscal conservatives lack compassion - many liberals will suggest that since fiscal conservatives want cuts to government size and taxes, they will be unable to help the poorest citizens of the country. l?iscalconservatives (myselfinduded) respond with the suggestion that government is simply veryinefficientanddumsyatdeliveringsuchaid Putting money back mto the economy could have more direct, long-term positive effects on

It is important to note that these measurements of personal and ·ecdnomic freedom are mosdy independent. In other words" someone (like me) can be socially h"beral and fiscally conservative. This is the ideaencodedin the name of the Progressive C,onservative Party. This combination of high personal and economic freedom is often referred to as libertarianism. (Red Tories are a slightly different breed of libertarians who usually support Canadian traditions like monarchism and anti-Americanism; David Orchard andJoe Clark aregood examples.) Other cOfl.1binations, like big-government social conservatives, are sometimes referred to as fascist or authoritarian. The term «neo-conscrvatiye" is uSL"<l to descrii:>e this trend in the United States in place of the less favourable "fascism." Confused yet? Me too. Some readers may disagree \\ my definitions; they are intended to be P?ctical, not academi~ in nature.

Socialliberals, orprogr~ssiy~s, be~ey~in~h~ ~ _~lI:! P!l£tyJ~c:.~.c:~~~.u.pp,<?!!c:r~~l:1.s!.9i1E!.l__ ~the lives of~ na~~r:'~~O~!~~!!~!e_d_ci~~~:.. __ .__________ ~~~~~~~:~


. FRIDAY, MARCH 25, 2005

fuelled by political action rather than compassionLike thousands of UW alumni, I am a past The Waterloo Public InterestResearch Group is ate results. Among WPIRG's more questionable . WPIRG volunteer. Over my four years of an embarrassment to this campus and its stuaccomplishments ateits supportforpoliticalprisactivity with WPIRG, I worked on sweatshop dents, not only due:: to its poor fiscal manage, oners, its belief that "our consumer culture" and issues, air quality, climate change, globalizament, but also because ofits narrowly defined yet "voodoo economic system" ate "out ofconttol" tion and a radio show. I was also a board vigorously promoted political position. and its support of lecturers who claim that ec0member and treasurer. I gained valuable skills WPIRGwastes a disproportionately large nomics is brain damage. that have not only helped me ftnd employamount ofits funding on overhead costs. In 2002, Sometimes WPIRG's position is downright ment, but have also helped me to be an for example, $90,4t7 was spent on two full-time scary. :in response toWPIRG's support of1)r. effective community volunteer with a variety stafU29,883 on office costs and $1 0, 131 onmemNorman Finkelsteinwho went as dar as labelling of organizations. bership in the Ontario Public Interest Research some Jewish organizations as ''Nazis,'' Sabrina I was often asked when we were working Group. Bowman, the former president of the Jewish on sweatshop issues: ''W'hat about those Inotherwords,administrationandbureaucracy Students Association, concludedthatWPIRG "is kids? If they didn't have those jobs they'd' consumed more than a staggering 87 per centofits nolongera place that [she] cangoto seekequality." have nothing!" I said I knew and understood income from the student levy. Othertimes,WPIRG'seffortsatenotsomuch that the issue was complex and the solution Most charities obtain funding through volunconttoversialas theyatecompletelyirrelevant.A40to the issue would also be complex. Just tary donations and fundraising programs. Since student money begins in WPIRG's pocket by default, it lacks not only the ~ motivation to operate like a normal charity but also theneedtoproveitsworth. It raised an unimpressive $449 in 2002 through voluntary donations and fundraising. WPIRGdoesraiseadditional funds bychatging fees to attend its events, but as Kevin Redmond points out, this is yet another way in which WPIRG fails to give back to the student body. ReferrinK to the $6 charge to attend David Suzuki's lecture, he asks how it is that when WPIRG ''hasasp~et ... there is a cost, butwhen a ClAIRE MOUSSEAU poorly funded club or group on campus invites a page health and safetybookletitcreated forrubber because I was an activist didn't mean I was guest speaker ... there usually isn't a fee?" Indeed, workers in the United States is a prime example. irrational, and didn't understand that probWPIRG's funding exceeds that of all other clubs Itis hardlytheresponsibilityofdebt-burdened lems need to be addressed holistically. combined undergraduate students to shoulderarecurringtax Why anyone would want to terminate an Students who feel a social responsibility can that siphons money that roany Iitetally cannot institution that does good environmental and donate to apolitical charities like the Terry Fox spare. hurnan rights work is ttuly beyond me. WPIRG Foundation, which spends just 13 per cent on That the money is taken bya poorly managed, is an organization that empowers students and fundraising and administtation or the War .<\mps high-overhead politicalinstitution flush With cash community volunteers to take action on issues who spend less than 5 per cent. but bankrupt r~ults in a subdeinsultto the adversely affecting people and the environWe cannot iely on theFederationofStudents to student population and an abuse of apathy surment! WPIRG hosts popular speakers like createnewpolicysurroundingrefundablefees.David rounding the fee statement. Send a message to David Suzuki and ''Pinball'' Clemons, proW'headey, a former math co-op student councillor Feds that the fee statement is not a pot ofgold to motes skills in project management and volunwho resigned over the Feds position on the referbe pillaged but alimited resource to be protected. teer coordination, provides students with exendum,agrees. ''IfthisreferendumisnOtthecorrect Put power backin the hands of students and vote perience in leadership roles, and opposes displace to deal with refundable fees, can we ttustour Yes to the tennination ofthe WPIRG levy during crimination and environmental degradation. student government to find one? I have no confi~ the referendum beginningMarch 28. Opponents ofWPIRG say that paying for dencetheycan ... you have aresponsibility to vote staff and office space is a waste ofmoney. They 'Yes'." Despite thevolume offees it collects, there - Tom Levesque compare WPIRG to other non-proftt organiis awealthofevidencethatWPIRG'svolunteers ate

zations that they claim are mQre efficient. This is simply not true. WPIRG's 'wage rates are less than the average non-proftt organization in Ontario, and far less than comparable positions at the UniversityofWaterloo. The'rast majority of~'PIRG staff time goes into programming, not overhead, just like most other non~proftt organizations. Recently, suspended posting because their core volunteers are burned out. Soon, these volunteers ",'ill graduate, so the future of is uncertain. In contrast, students have financially supported WPIRG for the last 32 years, and their small change (a$4.75/termrefundable fee) has made a big difference. WPIRG is your organization. Student-run projects have had many successes over the years, thanks to experienced staff who have helped them run effective meetings, and effectively promote their cause. No group has to start from scratch with their important work. Ifyou want support for your issues, WPIRG is there for you, on the second floor of the Student I.ife Centre. If you don't have time, you can still support the important work of other students by votNo. and lI:a:pjrlJ.! WPIRG around. \'(,'PIRG is always open to improving our organization, but they can'tdoitifthey are terminated. Voting is on March 28 and 29 atw\ Moreinformation about the "No" campaign can be found at -

Ryan D. Kennedy

Feds'shares the blame for the WPIRG referendum mess The WPIRG debate is a perplexing beast, butI'm goingto confuse you even more: at the root ofthe dispute is your very own Federation ofStudents. It's a complicated issue. To begin with, why did the Yes team decide to target WPIRG rather than to focus on all refundable fees on campus? Perhaps for ideological reasons, or perhaps also out of a sense of desperation. The debate surrounding refundable fees is not fresh; it has been raging since 1999, and likelywell,before. In 2003, Feds created a committee to look at the issue of ancillary fees and to issue a report. Its recommendations were never followed up, partly because of concerns regarding the process used to decide on best practices. Committee discussions were closed to observefs, and roany members of the committee had a vested interest ip maintaining the status quo, being themselves members ofgroups benefiting from

refundable fees. Regardless ofwhetherornot the thattheysignedonfor,misleadingornot, would report was valid, no new guidelines were set be the one put to a vote. Targeted organizations ~egarding refundable fees. It is now 2005, and would have Iitrle time to deal with anything else there have been no significant changes to the but challenges to theirexistence.'Add to this that refundable fees system since the 2003 report. guidelines for the minimum length of a camFurther problems arise from the way referpaign period allowing fo~groups to present their enda are dealt with here at UW - also an issue positions are not adequate; add to this that that only the Federation can conttol Despite the regulations punishing false statements made fact that the referendum question is misleading, , duriltgcampaigns are exceedingly vague, and you in that it fails to mention that the WPIRG fee is are left with the conclusion that the referendum refundable, it will be appearing on the referenprocess is deeply flawed. dum ballot. While the referendum is in many ways unfair As it stands, another referendum on WPIRG to WPIRG, it's also unfair to all UW students could be held next term. Ifone wanted to desttoy that Feds has put off dealing with the issue of a group on campus, they would need only to refundable fees for so roany years. The reaction gamer about 2,000 signatures in support of a of certain students in calling a debate is under- . referendum. Whether or not the information standable in this context. Nic Weber of the Yes presented to these people in order to gain their team, regardless of his ideologies, has a good support is accurate, the referendum question point: there should be a differentway to get your

refundable fees back, perhaps something as simple as a central booth in the SLC duringthe first fewweeks ofthe term thatprovidesinformation about the organizations you are opting not to support, while providing refunds as requested. W'hether you support WPIRG as an organization or not, the ultimate goal of this referendUm should not be cutting theWPIRG levy. The outcome should instead be that students hold Feds' feet to the fire in order to "motivate them to take action on refundable fees. In fairness to Feds, the motion council passed supporting the ''No team" also included a clause to re-examine the matter of ancillary fees. One can only hope that WPIRG survives long enough for Feds to deal properly with the issue of ancillary fees in their totality. -

Alex Doukas


FRIDAY, MARCH 25, 2005

Council decision inappropriate

To the editor, I am writing to express my absolute disgust at the Federation ofStudents council's recent decision to take a stance on the referendum question. There are groups around campus which have taken a stance on the referendum, and they have the freedom to do so. In the' case of the Federation of Students, being the party which is hosting this referendum. they have a responsibility to remain neutral on the issue. As students, we petitioned the Federation afStudents to hold a referendum on an issue that was felt about strongly enough that it needed to be voted on democraticallv. Councillor Lehmann d~fended that the referendum unfairly targets a group that receives fees instead of other groups that do as well. Issues , such as refundable fees need to be discussed and voted on independently. Imagine if the questions on,the last referendums were combined into one referendum question and asked us ifwe supported the dental fee and an orientation fee on our fee statement. The question would not clearly address each issue alone. Independent councillors may reserve the right to express their opinion on the issue; they have therightto do so. However, when it comes to the decision surrounding a referendum or an election, no matter"what their excuse may be, Feds council should stay neutral on an issue.

- Kevin Redmond 3B science

Vote' Yes for fairness To the editor,


Yes Team campaign confusing

Kudos to Feds council

that people understand exacdy what stance they are taking when they cast their vote. I have recently discoyered that it is completely within my rights to tear down these posters in so choose. I encourage anyone else \vho is similarily offended to do the same.

To the editor,

To the editor,

I fInd the logic behind the Yes Teams attack on campus organizations a little confusing and alarming. They claim that giving $4. 75 a semester to WPIRGislike having the Salvation Army take allofyour clothes and giving you three weeks to get them back? Well:, $4.75 ofmy $2,500 in tuition is notreally "all of my clothes" is it? It's more like .002 per cent of my clothes. And you only need to go to the basement of the SLC, a building most students visit at least once a week, to get it back, so that's what, like two minutes out of your day? all no! Why not redirect your attacks at the people who raise our tuition fees 1000 per cent and do sometlllng that would benefit ev<;ryone on campus instead of trying to shut down extremely useful campus organizations like WPIRG. The YesTeam'sstatedgoalisalsoconfusing. They feel that elections in \WIRG and other campus organizations aren't public enough, so they try to shut the organizations down. Rather than volunteet: at these places to help f1x the electoral problems thatthey see, they try to shut theorganizationdownandclaimtliafitisforthe betterment ofcampus democracy? ' That's like spreading freedom throughout the world" by "starting wars. Bush would be proud. Ifthey trulybelieve in a more democratic campus, why don't .they try !O fix the Feds elections ","here only 10-15 percent of students regularly participate in wbat are themost (annoy) publicized ~~()11Sotfpmpus? Get over

As I understand, the Federation of Students council passed a motion on Sunday supporting the "No" position in the referendum to terminate WPIRG'5 refundable fee. r d like to - AiitiJaei DiBernardl) commend those m'embers of council who 4B cr (iRti bil)if[Jont!(itirs suported that motion. \X'hile I'm glad that they took the right position for my O"wn reaThe fee is already. refundable! sons, I also think the reasons they quoted in their motion demonstrated intelligence and To the editor, foresight. The critics ofWPIRG have been perfectly I would like to give my opinion from a middleclear that they will go after Imprintand CKJ\IS man point of view, on the WPIRG issues on if this referendum succeeds in destroying campus. I am notinterested in taking any sides, WpIRG. I can only imagine that the student just giving people something to think about. The allegations made against the \l'PIRG societies and then the Feds would be next. Feds council took a "No" position because generally state that the \,{'PIRG is taking up so they understand that this referendum is part much money, doing so little, and ~'ing to of a larger design to reform refundable fees. conceal this in the fact thatitis a refundable $4.75 charge per semester to make a dlfference someCouncil believes that this referendum presents a poor way of dealing ~ith that issue. I agree. wherein Waterloo. But sincerely, I do not see few thousands standing in endless queues in the Some councillors supported this motion because they think that students should be inWPIRG office, in fttst three weeks of every formed of how council- people who are supsemester, with thejr ID and documentation., just to refund a flimsy $4.75. The whole concept is posed to bestudentleaders-seetheissue. Some voted against for their own political ends. I have unrealistic. heardpeoplecallingfortheresignationofpeople Nonetheless, ~'PIRG claims to collect this who voted for this~. money for good cause, whycan'twejustletitgo Why should someone resign for taking a then? I have been here for only two semesters, principled stand based on a reasoned posiand at least I have seen. with my eyes, standing right in front of me. David Suzuki. It is because tion? They shouldn't. Instead. the councillors who voted their conscience should be ofWPIRG that _ 'InS iNYRW:*' commended. I wrnxld like to thank 1be that WPlit.{; is that my own councillors, Paul Lehn?ann. who raisesJny eyebrow is saying that the fee is refundbrought tle motion Ihrwat4(rbough doing able. Please, just make it mandatory; I think so gives me a quett feding). endPa! ~i;, " $&Vq:it who has told me that be & n'lXffi.ber of times in suppon of the motion. noses. Also, for those who JUSt think the whole This motion has demonstrated that counWPIRG fee is a rip-off, think about how much cil does have a voice -as it should Perhaps the ~ money you waste every month, and you may just p~ssing of this motion will reinvigorate interhave a change ofheart. est in the Federation of Students and its council. In the meantime; let's praise those mem- EnifJla HU1I~n bers who stand up for what they know is right 1B planning - on both sides. Nothing could be more democratic. Team Yes honourable


totaftuitioo ~~ ~ it is refimdoble.

- Sean Collins OnMondayand Tuesdayof next week, you have 4B theatre an opportuhity to vote on something no current Waterloo student has been able to. In fact, since its What's the big deal? inceptionin'theradically different 1970s no Waterloo students have been able to vote on this issue. To the editor, I am ofcourse talkingaboutthe termination ofthe WPIRGlevy. The hype around campus today seems to be While refundable, many students do not have around thereferenduminvolving WPIRG. Why the time to get the refund or know about the is this such a big deal? Well, students pay a fee option. every term (about $5) into WPIRG and they Unlike fees like Imprint, which produces a don'twant to pay into it anymore because appardemonstrable product on a weekly basis, many entlyitisawasteoftheirmoney.AtleastWPIRG students are not aware of what WPIRG does; others wrongly assume from its name that it , 'does work, and it actually use th~t money (for example: bripgingspeakers such as David Suzuki does university research. WPIRG is like other to campus), unlike WESEF (Waterloo Environclubs on campus - it has events and brings out mental Studies EndoWment Fund). speakers for its causes. Every ES (Environmental Studies) student The difference is that while Feds clubs repays $30 per term into WESEF, expecting ceive $50 a term for expense reimbursement, something productive to be done with that WPIRG receives nearly $150,000 from just the money. Recently, ES students had the oppor"student levy. tunity to submit proposals to WESEF; howThe 162 Feds clubs on campus together ever, most of those were rejected and left most represent the great diversity on campus, but students asking "why?" As an ES student together they can receive a maximum amount myself, as well as a member ofESS (Environof$24,300 a year. The fact that \WIRG receives mental Studies Society), I've heard the upset over six times this amount is grossly unfair. cries of students at meetings and while socialIf the yes side wins, WPIRG would be free with other ESers. Even a proposal for izing to become a Feds club like all others and like bird feeders to be put in the ES garden was Students 4 PIRG is at Laurier. WPIRG would IfWESEF collects all this money each rejected! be free to apply for additional funding for term and will not even allow it to be put towards special events. what exactly is the purpose of simple requests, Students would be free to donate their $4.75 the organization? to WPIRG or an apolitical charity or they could Let's review, WPIRG takes money and uses use it to buy a lunch at Brubakers or pens and WESEF takes money and keeps it. Ifthe it, while pencils for the term. This is fairness. This is that actually does something is in organization what a yes victory would mean. a referendum to be cut out, why is nothing being On Monday, March 28 or Tuesday, March 29 done to the one that doesn't? Something defivisit or an on campus polling isn't right here ... nitely location and vote yes for fairness. - Brendan McLaughlin 3Amath禄


- Justin Mamone 1B planning

- MuHtiiba Omtff 4B politicd science

To the editor, I would like to commend the Yes Team for

Yes campaign deceives voters I

To the editor, I walked into DC today and noticed that posters for the WPIRG referendum had gone up in great numbers. For the most part. thj!se were good, but there is one poster in particular from the Yes (anti-WPIRG) team that made me twitch. The poster I am referring to has a solid black background. and is simply marked ''Vote YES: Now.even those who have some awareness of the referendum and the sides involved would likely identify this poster as 'one -rupporting WPIRG, not the'Opposite. This cannot be any less than a blatant attempt to mislead people into voting incorrectly, and I find it offensive in the extreme that the Yes Team would ~ttempt to skew the vote by sheer trickery. This is especially unfortunate because the Ye!;Team,did a reasonably good job on .their smaller yellow posters, which contain some interesting figures on WPIRG finances (although atthis point! question the validity of those numbers). " , In light of this, I think that it would only be prudent to have some sort of mechanism of clarification on referendum day make sure '. ', .. '








their time and effort spent to bring student awareness regarding WPIRG organization. Although there is tension argUed regarding the way each group is presenting facts, these students are raising awareness. It is dear that the Yes Team is questioning their fellow students, friends, and colleagues, "whether or not, they know where there money is being invested." Realistically,howmanyindividualscanguarantee every dona: they've spentin their tuition is towards a cause or setvice they suppo!!? In addition, ifWPIRG is using their funds properly, the opinions and explanations demanded by the Yes Team. tel1s organizations like WPIRG that their actions aren't as transparent as they think. The accusations and questions raised help both the student population ask where their money is invested and indirectly helps WPIRG develop as an organization., if they want to survive. Essentially, I think that both the students of lJW and \\;'PIRGneedgroups like the Yes Team for their efforts in raising awareness. - Ryan Wong 1B planning



Cruel intentions T'o Ihe er/ifor, I'd like to express concern on certain Cllmments that \vere presented in the March 11 issue of IIllpn·nt. Tom Levesque has made the statement that WPIRG has a "narrow-minded socialist agenda." In fact, \,{lPIRG "promotes civic leadership in students through research, education, and action on environmental and social justice issues." Translated for Mr. Levesque: WPIRG provides the resources and assistance needed for any student to begin an action group on rights issues that concern them. Of course, Levesque made it dear

that: he does not support WPIRG's support of aU student action groups when he claimed that WPIRG is "burning student money on ... \vomyn." Apparently, the education and improvement of women's rights (being that women consist of almost half of the student body) on campus and internationally is not important. 'holence against women is a concern to our age group; the issue of date rape dmgs is the biggest issue fadngwomen on North American campuses in yeats. Levesque, however, did not men . tion the work WPIRG has done in eliminating racial and sexual discrimination on campus. He did mention his appreciation for a "ideologically heterogeneous" universitv and I

would consid,:r a program likt' thi~ esscnthll for fostering sucb progressive campus as the one we have. There was also the ambiguous reference to to blow on a 'social marketing' cam·· paign." 1 have done 'rom's research for him. The $1 is from the federal govermm:nt and has noth· ing to do \vith student funding. The social marketing campaign is tbe fed·· cral government designed and funded One Tonne Challenge program. I t is simpiy executed from the \X' PIRG office. There is something to be said, government criticism aside, for a campus organization that garnered enough trust from the government to receive the responsibilit~, and fund·

that has been them.


the sluJc.m tion behind the "Yes" '''''",''''1''.'' eliminate ,he \X'1)IRG Ii.,-",.,I,,,,:."·' [he rcsentIncnt ()f their yery pll1VOSC on campus, ·\yhiie con·he is a proponent of on campu~. The basis that it is contrary to the luco!ot'l,~aJ. position of some on campus is contrary to the and diYcrse and has Ullcampus CC}flootarions for aU other organizations on CafnpU$, The truth is that there not a g,-roup on campus that some student >\von~t rake is~u.c \vith. I nf'1-,O",,,


hold flO


an institution t~n carnpus for holds l.~aluc [01ruH1\', in the U\'\' \\'PIRG. man\~ .,years ~lil§,.i

attempts If) is that the accornmodate the value systenlS of

Protect campus diversity

-,,_.-, I :!::::d·



FRIDAY. MARCH 25, 2005

, Goodbye, Paul! To the editor, The students of St. Paul's United College would like to express their gratitude to Paul Koop, former Dean and Manager of Residence and Facilities. For the past seven years Paul has made SPUC the best place to live on campus. Paul knew every student's name the moment they mov~d into residence. He diligently came toevery student-run event and listened eamestly to our con- ,

cems. , Paul Koop was like family to us and it was clear ,that he thought of us as family too, as his wife Sarah, daughter Olivia, and son Benjamin were frequently seen in the halls. He was and will continue to be the coolest thirty something year old we know. Wewillmis~hisopen-door,always颅

welcome policy, his passionateinvolvement in student discussions during lunch and the anger he felt towards his talking printer" a feature he never did quite figure out how to turn off. We \vish Paul Koop and his family all the bestin the futureHewill be sorely missed.

- The residmts 0/ St. Paul's United College

Cycling menace

banks on either side of the narrowly not have such a high number of'licious plowed sidewalk were hindering your murders and killings like they do in the ability to safely pass me. States. Thatis until I heard of the four I also forgot that s~ce you were, a) noble RG,MP officers who were shot traveling faster than me and b) on a and killed in a marijuana grow opera:machinewithmovingparts, that! stand tion raid. This event almost changed my m i n d . 路 . a greater chance of injury ifwe should meet. Therefore, you always have the At first I thought Canada may not right of way. be so different from the U.S. until I I also apologize for not repeatedly happened to turn on the television one looking behind me to see if a bicyclist aftemoon. W'hat I saw immediately was coming so I could graciously step took hold of me. It was a nation-\vitie offthe sidewalk and into the three foot broadcasting of the memorial service high snow bank so that you could pass forthe four heroic officers. Over 10,000 me. Of course, I also would have infriends, government officials, RCl\fP cluded a salute as you passed. The salute officers and regular citizens gathered would have been my small tribute to together to show their respect. youbrave,determinedcyclistswhodon't Even Paull\fartin and Adrienne let things such as dangerous ice and/ or Clarkson werein attendance. The look lack of proper p;tths stop you from on their faces revealed how a lot of riding your bikes in the dead ofwinter. people were feeling that day. This great I justwantyou toknowthatl blame gathering was proof of how very few myself for this mistake. I suppose I just tragic events like these happen in our take the English language too literally. country and when they do, we all know I didn't realize thattheword "sidewalk" how luckyweare to have such a prestigwas just a figure of speech. So, along ious police force like the RCl\fP. with this letter, I have sent one to the It's great to know that in rimes of Oxford Canadian Dictionary asking heartache ourcountry\\-lIlgather as one themtochangethewordto"Side-Do- . and overcome these tragic moments. I Whatever-You-Want-Without-Anyfelt great pride for our nation and for Regard-To-The-Safety-Of-Society-Asthelnenandwomen\\~o hclpedmake A-Whole.;' it what it is today. We should all be so Hopefully, they change this soon to proud to be livingm such a great counavoid any future mishaps. I will also try. makeitapoint towalk on then>ad from now on. It's'the least I qm do. - Jtephen BerM

do with teens taking the post-secondary education route. But I belit!ve that maturity plays a factor in why people in ourgeneration aren>t having children. The years from 18-25 is considered a transitional partin many people'S lives. Though this time forwomen biologica1lyis the best rime to have children, many people see this stageoflifeasatransirionfromadolescence to adulthood and not a rime to havechildrerL In Time magazine, the age group from 18-29have been dubbed with the name "Twixters." They are usually un-

to job and partner to partner while trying to figure outw~t they wwt to do with their lives. Think ofit like the TV show l:fimds but set in real life. This stage of life is importantbccauseit'sarimeforgrowingandleamingthings that school. can't teach. And I think that its better that people wait until they are financially stable and mature enough before thL'}, start a &mily because there really is no


-LouisList lBplanning


''Twixterl!'' typically bounce from job


More lEITERS, page 14

Grahlm McClure

1B emironmmt and business To the editor,

- AfiIost. Sikora


4A rompntn science I am just writing to apologize for the terrible inconvenience I have been to ourvast bicycling population in Waterloo this winter. First of all, I'd like to thank the anonymous soul who ranintomea few days ago on my walk home fipmwork. I did not realize that the high snow

Canada stands together To the editor, I have always known that Canada was different from our American neighbours. We have a lotless crime and do


No boom from '"TwixtersH To the editot; In thearricle "Reproduction in the21st .century,"theauthorLauraKatsirdakis was giving reasons as towhy the Canadianbirthrateis decreasing. Iagreewith her when she says that a lot.ofithas to

"I hope if I get brutally murdered by Romans people don't call it a Good day."

Public displays of affection on St. Patrick's Day? Yuck! The interesting thing was that on this parricularday, public tonsil hockey was tJerfectlyacceptable, even encouraged. The night~before, on Bomber Wednesday (I know, I know ... I didn't choose UW to do homework for crying out loud), I was sitting down with some frieqds and a couple was doing It really was a tale of two cities on theexactsamethinginf~ontofus. We couldn't help but have that ''I am thordifferentnights attheBoPlberlastweek. oughly disgusted but will stare anyOn St. Patrick's Day (my favourite holiday ofthe year beingthe non-drinker way" feeling (we really just wanted to stare at them with wide eyes as ifto say thatI am), the place was absolqtelynuts. "hey, get a room''). \~'hen I arrived at 5:30p.m., the lineup stretched to the front doors ofthe SLC When are public displays of affec(it was as if the Bomber was offering tionacceptable,in what capacity, and for half-price tuition with every appetizer how long? The PDAs that were found purchase), and was sprinkled with pre- revolring on th"e 'llforementioned drunk green people. Inside was a sight BomberWednesday could have passed to behold, like a ''who's who" gathering as marginally acceptable on the St. of Bomber faithful attending an end- Patrick's Day Thursday. Is there a code of-term awards ceremony ("The for this sort of thing? There should be. Bombies?"). One thing that occurred At any given moment, a show of (and no one necessarily complained affection between two lovebirds should about) was the amount of kissing that be acceptable, so long as iris not over went around. \Vlhen I walked'in, cou- seven secondslongandi&.~ta ti,menot ples were making out to the left of me obtrusive to the people around them and totherightofme (basically I was the (read between the lines and don't make only one not getting this "Kiss me I'm out while waiting in line for drinks at Irish" spirit ... I felt like. I belonged in the bar). PDAs betwL'Cnpeoplewhoare that "One of these things just doesn't . PDAing for the first rime can resume for a maximum of six minutes (or two belong" song from Sesame Street).

offenders much like drunken patrons, songs at the bar) so long as the PDA lines, perhaps the "pocket pool jamunless the PDAs are occurring with does not deviate from the initial point boree" that occurroo last Woonesday me. Then not only should we be alofcontact(l.e. dance floor, sittingdown the Bomber wouldn't ~ve haplowedto stay but all above rules should penoo. Actually maybe it still would at chairs, bathroom). After that PDA session, that couple then graduates to ~ve-\Vho really follows rules when not apply. "lovebird" status for the rest of the . they are drunk anyway? Maybewe can night, where they must follow the get the Bomber staff to kick outPDA "Seven seconds at a rime" rule (unless they return to the point of the original PDA, where they receive grace rime of two minutes). Lovebirds might be best to keep their PDAs to kissing (personally, holding hands is not in this category of PDA - it's a non-intrusive and sustainable gesture), and well-calculated ...where It's ,all about 路talentt (ie. well-hidden) acts of public intimacy. New PDA participants derme the extent oftheir PDAlevels by their very first PDA (meaning if they slap each other's bums while on the dance Bootit's perfectly okay forthem to slap bums for the rest of the night; clearly, however, a bum slap lasringoverseven seconds woUld be in violation of the ''lovebirds'' rule). Many ofthese requisites are for lack ofa better word, forgotten on "PDARPAYACOVER friendly" holidays such as St. Patrick's Day and Valentine's Day. Easterisnot STREET NORTH KITCHENER consideroo a PDA-friendly holiday. Tel: 578-7205 If everyone followed these guide- .









Eating dinner after 7 p.m. To the editor, As a first year student, I must say that the University of Waterloo has provided diversified university life beyond my expectations. However, one major flaw that I find is the hours of operation on Ron Eydt Village'S (REV) cafeteria on weekdays. From Monday to Friday, the cafeteria opens at 7 a.m. and closes at 7 p.m. and I argue that the REV cafeteria extend their hours of operation past 7 p.m. Many first year students, including myself, have evening and night classes and I find myself in many occasions whereIcomebacktornyre~dence~

my evening class and cafeteria is closed already. Luckily, the Vi cafetetiaclosesat 12a.m but awalk there and back is very excruciating, especi;illy in winter. Furthetinore, the Vi cafeteriadoesnotserve , dinherafter7p.msopeoplewithevening and night classes have to walk all the way to Vi and rely on their fast food snacks. Therefore, on behalfofmany fellow first year students, I strongly lobby for the~onofhours forREV cafeteria


pro-life protest where nothing but the togethertoenSUteouruniv~tyisclean simple factswere statedinordertomake andpresentable;notonlyin theSLC, but a point. On Friday the 11 th, a gtoup of .in every building and throughout camindividual students could be seen in the pus.I:mean,I wonderwbattheprospecSLC wearingt-shirts depictinga picture tive students ~ting on Campus Day ofafetus abo~data 10-weekgestation, wer~ thinking when they were introwith the statement "Choice." duced to the newly-exposed trash on These t-shirts revealed an image of village green or to the garbage-ridden the effects of a medical procedure, and paths throughout campus? the word that is used to support it. The Woulditteally kill you to hold on to shirts clearly stated a fact about somethat chocolate bar wrapper for a few thing that occurs every day. The people more minutes? Itis ourresponsibilityas who wore those t-shirts did so because . students to keep our campus clean, not theywanted to show abortion honestly. to leave it exclusively to the various If this so-called "choice" is something caretakers and employees here. thatAmiour so believes in, then why is Ifwe '-"'ant to be known as a univerhe upset when it's exposed at its face sityrenowned for excellence, let'sgetthe value? attitude right with regards to campus hygiene as well For perha'ps we as stu- Micbelk Hoffer dents should begin to appreciate theold 2B arts and history provetbwhich states: 'Cleanlinessis next to godliness.'

Clean up your. act, UW! ' -'- Erik Hertzber:g To the editor,

, 1B environment and lmsinm

I must commend Ms. Onyango for Don't shut us outl bringing attention to the fact that in To the 1Jditor, . many instances, UW students teallyare "pigs" ("Oink Oink", March 11). Walksothatfuturefirstyearre~dentsatREV ing throughout the campus recently, I take issue with the attitudes of some perhaps the most disturbing.aspect of professors on the UW路 campus. One of do not have to suffer between choosing our "piggish nature" becomes evident to eat dinner and going to class. Students for Palestinian Rights' (SFPR) with the temperature starting to warm projectsthistennisto.moneyforan up again. - Justin Park ulttaso~d machine in order to donate As the snow is slowly beginning to 1B business and environment it to a needy village in Palestine. recede under the spring sun, a plethora This village, Kufor Jamal, is surof garbage and debris from UW stu- . roundedbycheckpointsand thesecurity In your face! dents is tevealed forallto see. This seems , Wall built by Isi:ael; therefore, it's very to clearly support Ms. Onyango'sopinTo the editor, hard for pregnant women to get themion, and has furtherledme tobelievethe selves checked into nearby hospitals or InaMarch 18 Impn'ntletterto the editor, . same thing. clinics. Donating this machine for a As st\.ldents we should be working Charles Armour complained about a medical clinic in that village will most

certainly help thewomenin than>illage and the surroundingarea. As amember ofSFPR, I had toaskfordonations from members of faCulties around campus. NotallwerefamiliarwiththePalestinian /Israeliconflict:,butmanyshowedinterestinlisteningaboutit. Someseemed to know a lot about the ~tuation, but not allJ:ielped. ~'hether or not they were familiar with the situation was unrelated to the fact that these professors and faculty members donated money. Most of the people we approached welcomed us warmly into their offices while others didn't even give us a chance to explain why we need the money! Is it because they just don't want to help? at is it just politics? We all have different opinions about politics and about what's going on in our world today, but still, I think we should all reach out and help others in need begluseitisquite~lytherightthingto


- Nasma 13tughtntthi IB environment and business

Deadly assumptions

The letter to the editorin the March 18 Imprintby Charles Armour, in which he 'accused UWSFL of being immature, W'lAS cOmpletdy out of line. Annour made the assumption that tlxtgtoup of studentswearinggtaphict-shirtswas an event organized by the dub UWSFL, and then demanded that they apologize for their actions. In truth, thateventwas not put on by the club, but \vas only a group of indi"<;i.duals, u.1thin aoo outside of the club, exptesMg their opinion. L'WSfl,isanactiongtoup,andeven ifthey had fi>rmedthiSrui an official club event, an apology is not necessary for politicalactivism. . Imaginewbatwouldhavehappern.-d iffeministshad to apologize for protesting in the streets when they demanded equal rights. Wearing t-shirts is just an alternative to carrying around signs in protest. Clearly Armour only 6lPproves pfprotestifit's acause that he supports. Aswell, theusageofgtaphicimagery to expose the truth is nothing new. Spielbcrg's ,Schindler's List would not. have had the same impact had he not usedeffectiveimagerytoassistinexposingtheHolocaust. Whendirt."CtorTerry ,George depided the genocide in Hotel Rwanda, he also used gtaphic imagery to revealthetruth.IfArmourteallywanted information about the motivation for theaboniondebate,hecouldhaveasked one of the t -shirt wearers. Instead, he closed his mind and complained based on his own ll.'>Sumptions.

Diva Cup changes periods To the editor;


depending on your flow, but the vast majority of women never fill the cup within 12 hours. And just a correction, you can actually leave it in for 12 hours, not just six to eight hoursasW'lASstated. Picture this girls: you insert it in the momingbefore classes, and don't have to worry about it agaifi until you come home, or even just before bed time. No , tampons in the purse or botlk-bag to hide! It is SurpriMgly comfortable as well,althoughthepictuteofitisdeceiving;ifit'sinsertedcorreaiy,youcan'tfeel a thing. Picture the ease of traveling: you're on a short holiday, or maybe you're backpacking for four months across Europe; think ofthat extra backpack space thatu.i1I. be saved! There are thteelocationsin Waterloothatselltbem: oneisAdventureGuideonKingStreet, and you can look up others on the Diva Cup wehsite. I.asts five-to-eight years, you qm keep it in all day, and you dpn't have to buy products anymore-what could be better? I urge you to tty it, you won't tegtetit.

To the editor,

- Colleen IVcdrh 2B social det>ehpmrnt studies


product, specifically the Diva Cup, will cllange how you think about periods forever. It is suchan amazing product. You onlyn<.>ed to change imllicein 24 hours,

I just wanted to CO!.11llX."Ut on and furtherpromotethe Diva Cup, which was written about in the ,March 18 Impnnt. Not many women know about "it. I think it needs to be known that this

- AJisha Stede 3B soda! dnwlopment stuJia

Enough with the trashl Toihe Stop listening to trash; instead actually hear what's being played. We need to stop supporting repetitive "gangster" rap music, takefon~le 50 Cent. He hag Billboard charts and sold millionsofa"Cord.,world \\eide,andhow are they 30ing this? Simply by rapping about hoes, cars, drugs and money over and over again. This is called recydingmusic. SO C.-ent's new album Tht}rfa..:ratnwentplatinum in less then a week u.1th Mgk"S containingthelyrics "SO, uhh j Bently, uhh''!'m sorry. butwhcre's thecreati:vi.ty? ~'hyare songs like "Candy Shop" being played everywhere? I don'tcateifshegets tolick his lollipop. This is crap. When someone buys an album and spends their 15do1lars, they'retellingthe record labels, "ket."P sending out this kind of music, I want more." We as a societyhavetotealil'.cthatth,,:y'refeeding us crap, and we're sitting here wanting more. Takealookaiaconscienceamstfor exampi@,MosDeforTahbKweli.C..ompare sales, which album will be promoted? An artist that sells 500,000 copies or 1 million copies in a wcck? How long can we listen to rappers talking about 232,343 millioninchrims, orhow shiny their tccth are? I'm sick of seeing little kidsin juniorpublic schools thinking it's cool to call girls hoes, skip class, and start trouble. Sit down fora second and thinkabouthowtheirmusic affects the younger generation.lnstL'lid ofgiving away $15, buy a bot)k, donate to charity; or support an artist that agrees '-"1th yourviews. DO\1.ilatyouwish, but make sure the 15 dollarsareput to good use.

-RichardLu 1B emiromntntal business

Ruining an awesome bar, step by step everyThursdaysince I have beenableto do so. Paddy's also hosted the best open mic night in town-onewith an actual crowd! For the purposes ofthis review, we will use Paddy's as the archetypal awesome bar. Thatestablished,letus go backto the method. Sheldon Wantanabe SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Welcome to BeerGoggles, where we strive to provide a rund01Jln on Waterloo bars. Today'slesson: howtotake a popular barand turn it into a vacant shell In two simple steps, you can scare offmassive crowds fromany hotnightspotwithout breaking the budget. Remember Paddy O'Flaherty's? It was once the most happening place to hit on a Thursdaynight, with pesky lines of people waiting to partake in the annoyingly great atmosphere. Paddy's was a fantastic bar. I have faithfully attended this proud Irish pub

Part 12



With selifJrai hidden ryes, That the end approachesyou and 1. Come to If!} parlour little flies, Upstairs is wherey()urfate lies. Here you'llfind the final rye. This was the final clue. This is what wouldlead them to the murderer, what would end the nightmare, and it was maddeninglyvague. The PAS had several floors. With only a few minutes left before the firstinnocentwas to be killed by the psychopathic murderer, this did not help. Mike and Shannon looked at each other, and both bolted for the stairs. The door before them burst open and they flew up the stairs, taking the steps two or three at a time. When they reached the second floor they saw they had two choices. To their

Phase one: raise price ofbeer. I go to a bar for one of two reasons: to intoxicate myself or to enjoy the fun atmosphere created by others who are intoxicating themselves. Paddy's was in theheartofdowntown,inheavycompetitionv.w top-shelfbarsliketheHeuther Hotel,MclvfulJan'sandFailte, which can all be found within two blocks. In a

situationlikethis,anincteaseinbeerprices can spelldisasterbecausepeoplecansimplywalkdownthestreetforcheaperbeer. Thatrules outtheintoxicators and once theyleavefurmorecost-efficientpastures, the atmosphere dies, ruling out the second main reason I would go there.,thetemptation to switch Thursday destinations is sttong, but that force alone is not enough todrasticallyreduceattendance. Phasetwo:changethename. Thisone'sapieceofcake:makeapun aboutsomerandomdictator,adjustthe menuaccotdinglyandyou'regold. You'd be surprised at the number of assumptions people make solely based on the name of a place. All you have to do is change the nameanditwill seemlikeyou havechanged everythingabourthe bar! This saves money on costly things like renovations andactualchange. Followthesetwo easystepsandyour bar will suck in no time at all! Now, let me remove my tongue from my cheek and get to the point. Paddy's was a great place togo. \Vben Paddy's became Musselini's a couple of months ago, the management changed absolutely nothing about the inside ofthe bar besides the menu,

New sign, same old Paddy's •.. I mean MusseIinfs. yet they somehow managed to scare away about 70 pet cent of the former Thursday night patronage. They still run a good open mic. They still have friendly staff and a roomy, well-designed interior. They stil/have a big

old map of Ireland on the wall (although it will be removed shortly)! I encourage people to rediscover that bar beside Failte. Sure, they call it Musselini's but at heart, it's still Paddy's.

the end of the beginning right was a locked door that said "Authorized Personnel Only" and led into an mner maze of rooms. To their left was a long twisting hallway with deep inset doors placed randomly throughout. Shannon ran toward the door on the right and pulled frantically at it to no avail. :Mike grabbed a lamp thatwas sitting on a nearby table and began bashing at the small window in the door. After several minutes, the protective glass in the window gave way and they opened the door. ''1 hate to do this Shannon, but you knowwe have to split up again. If we're going to search this floor in just a few minutes someone is going to have to go in here, and someone is going to have to go the other way." Shannon looked at him for a minute and then nodded reluctandy, ''You're right. I'll go inhere ... the door was locked, he's probably not in here." She grinned at him, but he had already turned and run off the other way. Shannon began sprinting through the confusingmaze ofhalls and¥><>ms looking for anything that could lead

her to the killer and the people he planned to kill if they didn't stop him. She turned a comer and prompdy tripped and fell \"'hen she looked down at what she had tripped on, she screamed despite herself. There was a body and shewas lying on top of it. She pushed herself a'way from it, but she already found that she had blood on her hands, on her arms, on her clothes. It"\\'3.swarm. She found herself scrambling to get away from the mess of blood and flesh littering the hallway. She turned to run and found herselfface to face with a madman. :MikeheardSbannon's scream from the far end of the second floor. He didn't think, he just turned and ran to find her. "Hello Shannon," a calm silkysmooth voice crooned, sending cool sbivers up and down Shannon's spine. "Do you know who I am?" Shannon looked at him. ''No ... I don't." He looked away for a moment then said, ''No, I didn't think you would. No one remembers me. No one ever

notices me, you see. That's the problem." Shannon'seyes began to tear as she realized hm.,,-many bodies 'Ill'l..'TCon t.'1e floor around her. ''You killed them all," she sobbed, ''You killed all four! You promised you wouldn't. Yon said you wouldn't if we got here." ''Youbroketherulesl"hescrearned, no longer calm, no longer controlled. ''1 warned you what would happenl" ''You cheated!" she cried at him. "One of the clues "\\'3.S outside! You had no righttokill them. any ofthem!" She stared into his eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks, her blonde hair wild, framing her face. "Why are you doing this?" He stepped towards her. "You're beautiful, you know," he said quietly, almost to himself. "Getawayfrommeyoufreak!"she screamed and slapped him. She turned to run but he grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him. She could feelhis breath on her cheek, "It doesn't have to end this way," he murmured. ''1 want to know why," she said.

"Why have you done this:-" He relaxed his hold on her and looked away. "I had to. The competitIDn... it'lll'lls roo much, I fleL"li to make

I to gt."t it'l. I couldn't give up. I~' I wasSllllU:lrr than them. I proved it. I proved I was smarter than them. So why did they turn me down? .. Helooked ather and his eyes burned. ''1 won. 1 win." She saw him pull a syringe from his jacket pocket as he began to walk towards her. "You could get in, but I won't let you. Not ",'ithoutme. W'e can be optometrists together. They'll let me in now. You and I. Then we will have all the eyes we want, then we..." The killer fell to the floor, his eyes wide. They syringe he had held in his hands now rested in his chest, its deadly venom coursing through his veins.

Intue.rted in notling l"lark $ past st0ries? CI.M:k 0111 the SuioJ Fiction nrdJives fWIJiIabk at






FRIDAY, MARCH 25. 2005

Being nice to retail employees is in your best interest A guide to being a good customer Jim Balamenchuck IMPRINT STAFF

Duringuniversity,careerchoicesencompass two despicable but essential options: sling burgers or sell overpriced merchandise. Either way, the customers see a young person behind the counter andfigurethemtheperfectverbalpunchingbag. Wtth the added stress ofschool, this turns work in to a distorted fonn of torture. rt's time for the hurting to stop. No more will you have to endure the illfonnedattacks ofthe purchasingpublic. Customers can break out the metaphoricalhotpokerandjamthe eye ofthe retail employee in the following areas:

The change-drop Do not, under any circumstances, drop a handful of change on the counter.

This is a revolting gesture ofsuperiority. It screams, ''You are lower than me, pick up my crap." After all, the kind serviceperson would not toss your burger on the ground and leave it for you to pick up. Also equivalent to this is the credit card toss. With a smile, politely hand your method of payment to the person manning the counter.

Waiting is frustrating The person behind the counter doesn't care howbigofa shit your dog took this morning or what grade your grandson is in. Do not sit there and prattle off endless excess details that have little relevance to the matterathand.1bisonly wastes time and makes the person behind you waitlonger. Andespeciallydo notdottrighta~compIainingabout

long wait-times -

that's just stupid.

Discount? Hell nol Discounts are only given when it is appropriate. Asking for one will not get your cheap, raggedy ass a discount. And why the hell do you think you deserve it? For being some golden consuming god? Oh, and don't ask for the manager, because they'll lay down a fat, resounding ''No.'' As for you people who think the commissioned salesperson can deduct their own commission, go ahead and ask only if you're happy ripping hardearned money out of the pockets of a person living below the poverty line. Don't shoot the messenger Justbecauseyouneed t6buyacablein addition to your printer does not give you license to fly off the handle at the sales rep. rt is not thett fault; they are merely working under the constraints imposed by the companies who supply the product.

Not everybody is out to screw you Hearing "you're just trying to rip me off' is one of the worst things for a person in service. Generally,everycustomer service representative is doing justwhattheirtidesuggests-trying to serve the customer. It's insulting to even think that the representative would tr:r to screw a customer over for some arbitrary reason. If you don't like it, go home and make your own Bear in mind that fast food implies thatpurchasingitis faster than making it yourself. Think about it - in the span of five minutes or less, you arc getting fries, a burger and a drink. To make this at home, :rou'dhave to cook the burger (20 minutes from frozen) then brew up some fries (25 minutes) and it's still not as good as a Harvey's meal. So if it takes too long to cook, just remember that it would take you

45 minutes ifitweren't for the burger-

flippers. Be nice If an employee greets you, say ''hi'' back nicely. Ask howthcir day is going or comment on the\veather. They're not going to use powers of mind control to get you to buy; they are just saying "hi." And for shit's sake, talk to them like a real person. Don't use one-\yordrequestslike "Coffee. Black. Large" or "Computers." It's both disrespectful and hurtful. \,"'hile my tips may seem harsh, they are necessary. In an age of consumerism, the most important people in :rour life arc the people\\ilo sell you necessities. You wouldn't have a nice dinner out",ithout that waitress; your camera \youldn't work without batteries; you \vouldn't be able to grab a quick bite to eat if that kid weren't back there flipping burgers. Be considerate; don't be a dick.

Puerco Pibil: a dish deftnitely worth dying for knowing how to fuck. "You gOtta eat the rest of your life, you might as well know how." But wait! Who the hell is this dirty Rodriguez, and why do I care about his cooking? Robert Rodriguez is the writer and director behind such blockbuster hits as Once


Upon a Time In Mexico, From Dusk Till Dawn, Desperado and Spy Kids. Yeah, ignore thefactthatl just said Spy Kids.

According to Robert Rodriguez, not knowing how to cook is like not

What you may not know is that with every fllm Rodriguez releases,

he also releases a Ten Minute Film School so that he can show his viewers the litde tricks behind how he made his hit movies. Included in the special features of Ollce UpfJ11A Time ill Mexico is the recipe for Puerco Pibil. In the movie,Johnny Depp's character, Agent Sands, has a plate of Pibil so good he goes and kills the cheÂŁ So make this dish at your own risk. Now, the dish I'm teaching you

Jewish Studies Program m~ to P~fittOO pubCk: ~tum



% .

L,. Sherwin

Dl8ting~ S.iVIce ~

at Chicago>~ SpmtU8

II'-ute of ~ Studies

Tuesday, March 29, 2005 1:30 pm

at. Jelmmt!W$I Un~_, ~ Hml Room1U

right now is not the same as the one from the movie. No, I made it just different enough so that I won't get sued. (Although I would like to meet ol'Rob in court. Atleast I'dgetto meet him.) PuetcO Pibil,rurocalk>d COdlimti\ Pibil, is a dish that takes a bit of prep. It's not like the other l\tlickey Mouse dishes that you can throw together while you're waiting for your JelIo shooters to harden. PuercoPIbilisa slowroastporkdish from the Yucatan regjon in Mexico. You can tell dishes from the Yucatan because they use a few key ingredients in almost all oftheir dishes. Avocado is a staple ofYucatancooking, as is the use of banana leaves. However, for this dish we're going to use annatto seeds. Annatto seeds are small red seeds thatare as hard as rocks, haveyerylittle flavourandhaveadarkcolour. Youcan do a lot ",ith annatto seeds. You can make achiote paste, whichiswhatwe'll be doing, or you can u..<;e the seeds to make a powder, which, ",ilen mixed with vegetableoiI,makesagreatcoating for pork of beef steaks, giving them a rich, muddy red look and a smokier flavour. First we'll make the achiote paste. You'll need acoffee grinder in order to make the paste. Ifyou use your regular grinder, you'll have very spicy coffee tomorrow morning. I have my own grinder specifically for spices. If you don't want to shell out the ten bucks fora grinder, you can use a mortar and pesde,a pepper grinder ora Ziploc hag and a one-ton pick-up truck (put it under the tires). .Mixtogetherin thecoffeegriruler: 5 tbsp of annatto seeds 2 tsp cumin seeds 1 tbsp pepper 3 coriander 8 allspice V2 tsp of cloves Blend well. These spices are hard and are no fun to chew. Nextcutup three jalapeiio peppers.

Rememberthatleavingin thevcinsand

seeds will make it spicier, so ifymnvant a dish with less kick, take out the seeds and veins Mix in blender or food processor: Spices fromcoffeegrinder

% cup oforange juice 2 tbsp salt 8clovesofgarlic After you've blended ~'Our mi'(rure,add the juicc()f5 k'nlons and one spiash of ",-hite tequila Now take 5 pounds of your fayourite meat. The recipe calls forpork butt, but I use stewing beef and I've even seen it done ",ith bison steaks. Cut the meat into t:\\'"O-inch squares. Put the meat, along \\ith all of your other ingredients, in a Ziploc hag. Shake it up fora bit and thenleaveitin the fridge until you're ready to start cooking. Nowpulloutabakingpan-something\vithratherhighsides. Youcanline itwith tinfoil firstif you want less mess. 1hrow in your meat and all of the sauce. Cover up the dish with more tin foil Try to keep the seal on the tinfoil mther tightsothatno steam escapes. Sincethis is a slow roast dish, you need the steam to cook the meat. Cook the dish for 4 hours at 325 degrees. Since tt takes so long to cook, you can easilygo back towhatyouwete doing. If you have nothing to do for four hours, I recommend reading the restofImpriNt. TrysolvingNealMoogkSoulis' crossword puzzle. I guaranteeit will be fourhours beforeyourealizeit's impossible to solveunless youmakeup words. So nowit'sdoneandyouknowhow to make a dish that doesn't involve the microwave orpropane. Serve the Pibil over rice with some aJdMtevegetables, especially peppers. Stt back and enjoy somethingfromMexicootherthandirty, dirtypom. ~








FRIDAY. MARCH 25, 2005


Roaring -Dragon will rust In tOXIC aIr

It has becom~gen~rally-accepted wisdom to state that the 21st century will "be China's century" InnUmerable eco~omic forecasts certainly validate this' assertion. Goldman Sachs, the highly reputable global banking and investment firm, predicts that by the year 2045, China's Gross Domestic Product (GDP) will exceed that of the United States, marking the end of a> century of American global dominance. All sorts of alarm bells have been going off about China's rise. Double-digit increase in military spending and bellicose 'pronouncements about "reunifying" Taiwan by any means necessary have alarmed East Asian nations and the international community at large. Lostin the speculation and occasional panic that surrounds China's ascendancy is the looming question of whether any of this rapid growth is sustainable. The soaring economic dragon of Asia has fouled its own air to a degree almost unimaginable in Canada and further economic growth may push China's strained environment to a fuh-fledged collapse. A combination of statistics and anecdotes paints a harrowing picture of ecological damage

and a looming human health catastrophe. Chinese citizens going !tbout 1:heir business while wearing face masks are a common sight as 16 of the 20 most polluted"cities in the world are found in China, and some 300,000 chinese die prematurely from respiratory diseases every year. Fresh water is in an even more perilous condition. InJuly of2004, a 133 km-long black and brown plume of sludge devastated the Huai River, killing millions of fish and other wildlife. Periodic water shortages have shuttered factories and approximately 600 million people rely on water contaminated by.human and animal waste. Other problems abound. Rapid deforestation has led to rapid soil erosion, dust storms and fla~h floods. Finally, a 'country that can no longer feed itself has lost 10 per cent of its agricultural land to salinization and 15 per cent to desertification. The ultimate cause of these problems is plainly obvious: too many people are drawing upon too few resources. Returning again to the subject of water, Ch~a is incredibly poor in this life-giving resource on a per capita basis. However, its technologically outdated paper and fertilizer industries use twice and 42 times as much water respectively as compared to North American enterprises to manufacture the same quantity of finished products. Knowing this, it is no longer surprising that the Yellow River no longer flQWS all the way to the sea most days of the year. People will rightly point out that North

America and Europe followed the same highpollution path to develop before gradually reforming our ways once a c~rtain level of wealth had been achieved, thus China should be allowed to chart its own path. This argument rings with a certain amount of fairness, but ignores the problem of scale. In 1970, just before the oil-shock and the birth of the environmental movement began to change North American attitudes toward the environment, there were 205 million Americans living and polluting on 9.6 million square kilometers oEland. U sing roughly similar industrial technologies and environmental attitudes, contemporary China sports 1,400 million people in a territory of the same size. Can China's natural environment absorb SeveN times the damage that the people of America inflicted on theirs and continue 10 function? The short answer is no. China's ecological capital is being rapidly liquidated to pay for today's stunning economic gro\lrth which will ultimately undermine future growth. Already, the World Bank estimates that environmental damage is costing China between eight and 12 per cent ofits G D P every year, and this fIgure can only grow as the damage worsens. China, more than any other nation on Earth, must change its environmental practices or face ruin. Ironically, one of its advantages in this challenge is thatits highly centralized and powerful central government makes this nation of 1.4 billion people surprisingly nimble. After deforestation contributed to floods causing billions in damage, the government

banned logging everywhere. I t is r~planting an entire forestto protect Beijing from dust storms and wrestled population gtmvth to the ground through its brutal but effective one-child policy. Those fretting about China's impending world domination should relax, as that will be the least of their problems in the near future, much more frightening for the world will be the desperate challenge of more than a billion people seeking solutions to counteract the gradual poisoning of their air, water and land.

Sex ENtl.Jutiast and Dinner With Adam ~iJJ rehtm next week. Adam mulJulia wen~!aid I!J WfI/ves ••• 1 llifUlii's a f!!J!Nl thing Iewow /:;m;gfo.

Spring fashion guide


\"'{'ith the snow melting and spring emerging, new fashion trends are on their way in. There are so many ways to look absolutely fashionable this spring. Starting from the top and moving dowo,- the hottest sunglasses a girl can wear this year are over-sized, round frames also known, as aviators: n9t only do. they


Ditch those winter coats!

protect your eyes from the sun, they also make you look super retro! Extra long and extra small tanks are in this year. They can be worn in apy and every color. The hottest thing to do this year is to layer. Try wearing two of the tanks in different colors, one on top of the other. • You can complete your top with a cute blazer. lf you don't think the blazer look is for you, try wearing a cropped cardigan that cuts off midback. If you want to go for the more classy and sophisticated look, definitely purchase a halter . blouse or a sequined camisole. There are so many options for the bottom this spring. Firstly, the new Capriis the cropped pat\t for spring. They're not quite shorts and they're not quite pants, they come just below the ,knee but they balance with cute pumps or sexy stilettos. If you're looking for more 'of a girly look, try a silk chiffon skirt; these skirts look adorable with silk camisoles. And as always ladies, tight fitted jeans will work with any look you are going for. If you want to dre~s them up, wear a collared shirt; if you want to dress them down, go tank. Accessories are imperative for a sexy outfit. This season is full of hot new items. Bangle bracelets can become the focus of your outfit; try fun colors in a glassy material and earthy . natural tones in wood or plastic. Bare arms are a must for the new bangle look: juststack them on and have fun. Of course, every girl needs somewhere to stash her stuff-think big. Top-handle purses are vital,' but remember, the bigger the better.There is one exception to the rule; dutch. The dutch is hot, especially)n colourful, sequence designs. Spring has sprung, so let's spring into the new season looking sexy! kdilkes@imprint,

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Won't anyone put a boob in my scotch? David George-Cosh

antijitos instead of grabbing his CD. Well, not that much - those antijitos were pretty tasty. And then Bob LogIII made his appeatanceon [f I told you that a man in a spandex suit stage and as soon as you could say, "~laittess, can wearing a helmet with a telephone attached to I have some more antijitos?" the show was on. it while playing the guitar and using his feet for Even the smallest technical mishap didn't stop percussion would be in town, would you turn Log from entertaining the sparse ] ane Bond it down? Would you have any good excuse not" crowd. Applause greeted song after song as Log to go? And if that man came along with a bumed through a selection of his discography, legend that stated that he was born with a culling most of his set from his latest release, Log monkey paw for a right hand and with a Bomb. Though no monkey paw was present, his mission to spread the gospel of rock and roll hands skilfully blurred along the fretboard, disto lands far away, would you still hesitate or playing a taient that can only be nurtured growing would you run as fast as your little legs can to up in Tuscot,l, Arizona. see the legend for yourself? 'Ever the charismatic rock 'n' roller, it wasn't Looks like Waterloo wasn't too far away for hard for Log to convince two female audience Bob Log III to bring his one-man-band show members to balance themselves on both his legs to town this past Friday and Saturday. Log was while blazing}hrough a lightning-fast version of in town as part of] ane Bond's 10th anniversary "Shit on My Leg." And ",ilen you've got a song celebrations, which also brought such acts as called "Boob Scotch," you better back it up'with Danny :Michel, Lindy and] oel Plaskett to our some alcohol touching some tit at one point ofthe humble neck of the woods. As I was reminded night. Unfortunately, no audience members took by many of the other attendees before the show, him up on the offer, so Log himself had to whip the live Bob Log III show is trUly a sight to be out the nipple and show the crowd how it's done. seen for yourself. , Logendedhis set\vithan encore thatragedon Toronto-based Ape and Hamilton's Wax with an intensity that reminded me why his live Mannequin provided Log with opening sets , show is so renowned. Bob Log III will certainly during both days and although lcan't speak for play these parts again-he comes everyyearorso Ape, Wax Mannequin did a great job of warm- and ifyou do manage to check it out, you have ing up the crowd. Highlighting his set with absolutely no idea what you're getting into. And numbers such as "Paper Snake'" and '':Bryan ~at's a good thing. Adams on the Phone," Wax Mannequin made me regret spe~ding all my money on a plate of IMPRINT STAFF


Going to a Bob Log III show is like watching Darth Vader play rockabilly.

Bedouin Soundclash earns their reputation AndrewKing SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

I'll bet the cats down at Shakedown Stteetwere as happy as pigS in shit that the Bedouin Soundclash rolled into town Friday night at the Bomber. I'm sure that a lot of the crowd that showed up to ,catch Bedouin's reputable live showmadea speclal trip to downtown Kitchener to "accessorize" for the event, andrighdy so. This trio have been enjoying a warranted wave of success over the past few months. Not only are they featured on the third Atticus compilation alongside punk heavyweights (and some of my personal favourites) like the Bled and Saosin, but they've landed spots on this year's Warped Tour

and the SXSE music festival Don't let their technically supposed to do-makeyoucrave the credentials fool )'OU, though - while they may headliners. be peers to the new wave of punk and screamo The Bedouin Sounddash was greeted with bands, the Bedouin Soundclash are sonically in a warm welcome from the crowd l!fld wasted no a league of their own. The p~oof was in the time reminding people why they shelled out pudding at Friday's Bomber performance. over $15 to be there. Bedouin's music is a Toronto-based band the Pylons opened the seamless blend of fuflk, reggae and indie rock show. I think these guys used to be called No that just makes you want to dance, dance, dance. Doubt, but I'm not completely sure. I recognize Were I any less white, rd have been bodythe shirtless drummer, gorgeous frontwoman , rocking like Patrick Swayze. Luckily, my comand the fauxwba:wked guitarist - everything I pany for the night held the dancing down for remember about No Doubt minus the good the both of us. music. All things considered, though, theyweren't Bedouin's sound is incredibly pleasing and terrible - the vocals were on key and the sound appeals to a wide range oflisteners. A quick scan mix was impressive. They played a decent set of of the mixed audience made it evident that it upbeat pop that did what any opening act is doesn't matter what style of music you're into,

good musidsgood music-and the Soundclash make good music, kids. Very good music. The rhythm section was tight, the vocals \\rete absolutely flawles.., and the set was well executed I t took absolutely no effort to enjoy this show. The stoners, hip hoppers, punk rockerS and everyone in between were havingan equallygreat time just letting loose and enjoying the sounds. No matter what t}'pc of music you vibe to, give the Bedouin Soundclash a, spin. While their live show isn't as intense or exciting as some of the bands they'll be sharing the stage with on Warped this summer, ifyou like \?ckingback and dancing to some upbeat jams instead ofor along with your sweatymoshing, check out the Bedouin So;mdclash. They won't disappoint. for a

frecCDs. ~

1. Fu Mandm and Kyuss. 2. In DelrtJit.

041" and ''Inmmtdo.'' 4. CronfJS,~, Milu ,-"",""""U. 5. Aspl[yxiattd on his 011m romi!. 6. Omck â&#x20AC;˘ Trick question: f 50 words could nttler do QOTSAjustia.


FRIDAY. MARCH 25, 2005

Nintendo·gets alltouchy-feely

I'll be the first to admit that a good real-time strategy (RTS) game warms my gaming gonads like a hot chair. I love the feeling of managing your resources until you have amassed an army that could take down the fleets of heaven and hell. I enjoy building an empire that spans the virtual globe, instilling fear into all th~ peasants that meander about. Some would call me a megalomaniac. To them I say, "I will conquer you one day." But my biases toward PC gaming ~d lack of a decent PC have held me back from playing some of the latest RTS tides. And the console-makers know that controlling an RTS ,-vith a game-pad is as hard as getting \x'PIRG to be productive (zing!). A couple recent gobbets of meat from the rumour grind got my brain churning this weel{ - notably, the spot of speculation that the revolutionary revolution of the "Revolution"will actually be touch-screen controllers '-vith developer-~storriizable interfaces. After the 01' grey matter shook off the dust, I started to realize that Nintendo's plan for Revolution may just conquer the one obsta.cle that sticks in the side of console gam-

ing and festers like a bad infection. If While the idea will encourage develthe developers lay down their cards opers to come up with innovative right, the touch-screen has the potengame-play modes and interesting tial to be an equivalent, if not supecontrol schemes, differentiating rior, means of troop control to the themselves from the other consoles mouse. would be a bad thing at this stage. All you would need is a simple Thatis, unless they can pull it off. interfacethatshows~ch type oftroop I have no doubt the Nintendo giant you currendy have available in a will show us something worth callscrollable sideb~, with the amount of 'ing mum about, but that doesn't each listed below. Tapping the troops change the marketability factor. I would give you a litde bit of mfo on mean, take phenomenal games like them, as well as the ability to control Prince rif Persia, or the Splinter Cell them onscreen via a mini-map system. series. With their touch-screen conThe big screen could exemplify the trollers, Nintendo would have a action in ways that rival the best batdetough time convincing companies to cinema we've seen yet. It would be port games. glorious. I am admittedly what some would Granted, the idea ofa touch-screen call a ''Nintendo fanboy." I embrace controller was definitely not created that tide happily, especially considersolely for RTS games, but it's a good ing Mario 3 raised me. I think I learnt bit of fallout from the initial bang of how to get a cartridge working before the idea, provided somebody in the learning to tie my shoes. But it's lookcorporate ladder realizes this. ing grim for them. Nintendo is walkBut the rumour is barely feasible. ing the line by trying out such new One notable exception is the cost of ideas, especially given the flaccid perthe controllers. Although 1'd imagine formance of the DS. Their current that Big N would come throUgh for game line-up looks like it just had a the litde guys and put out a decently. cold shower. priced controller, it will still ring up at Only time ",111 tell what Nintendo a higher price than the standard. actually has in mind. The rumour mill The real difficulty comes from rekeeps churning the revolutions out, moving the stanqard buttons. The but thus far none have seemed that rumour proRoses that the controls great. Touching may be good, but ,,>ill be represented entirely by this sometimes there is just no substitute touch-screen. So no d-pad, no analog to fiddling with your analog stick. stick. This is definitely going to be a problem for cross-platform games.


Ladies, I understand: others have tried the "mixtape makeout"'approach with you, but they left you spinning "(1 can't get no) Satisfaction." Apparently, alot ofmen seriously lack imagination when it comes to seduction music. Predictable-ass Barry White? Next Dude's playing ''Let's Get It On?" Ooookay then. While Barry and Marvin are great, don't these guys realize that each situation is special? That eachj)ersonis special? It's all good though: some gentlemen recognize that sometimes you want it slow and smooth, and other times· slammin' and hard. Romancehas no rules. What follows, then, is nota suggestion; it is simply an exanple of one possible setlist of seduction. Please make yourself comfortable.

Sonic Youth - Aoagrama This is Sonic Youth. It's called "Anagrama."It'sprettycoolhowthey rnltke this rising mtensify of emotion ,vith just guitars. Yeah, it's true: you feel excited, like anything can happen.

UtadaHikaru - Darekano Negai ga Kanau Koro Uh,it's from Japan, actually. She's U tada Hikaru, a popularJ -pop singer. ''Dareka no Negai ga Kanau Koro"

roughly translates as "when someone's wish comes true."

Sigut R6s - StaraIfur Yeah, it's pretty trendy, but it's also pretty good. It's elegant, classic and relaxing, like a massage for your soul. It has an almost spiritual quality to it.

Andre Williams - I Wanna Be Your Favourite Pair of Pajamas


Humanities Theatre Thursday, April 7;

~ wear comfortable clothing and a sense ft) .;; of humour - everyone is welcome "..

Casting for 3 female, 4 male, 1 male improvisational keyboard player with a penchant for drama.

Rehearsals and Show Times August 15 to September 9 inclusive



Today·Thurs 6:45, Sat-Sun 2:00

Sideways (lBA) Tonight-Thurs 9:20, Sat·Sun 4:25

The life Aquatic willi SIe\l8Z1HGu (14#,) Tooight-Thurs 7:00, Sal-Sun 1:45

The200411'1t I C8mesAd~) Tonight·ThUI's 9:10, Sat·Sun 4:15


Smog - Red Apples This is a kind of low-fi Leonard Cohen. He plays this raw, emotional indie-folk with poetic, symbolic lyrics. Man, I saw him play live in Toronto, and the mood was so charged that you could hear people breathing in the room.




Kinsey (14#1) Today &. Soo-Mon 4:45

80m into Brothels {14AJ

Today-Moo 7:00, Tues 9:35 A Very Lana Engagement (18AJ Today-JAoo 9:00

Hotel Rwanda


Wed-Thurs 7:00

Team Amerlca-(lBA)

Morphine - All Your Way

Wed-Thurs 9:30

Sal 4:40

Beyond the Sea (PG)

Sat 2:10. Sun 11 :45AM ,

The Sea Inside (PG) Sun-Moo 2:15, Tues 7:00

House of Flving Daggers (14A)

John Cage:-4'33"

Now this is cool-a combination of gospel, soul and R & B. I used to live in Windsor, and Detroit radio would always be playing this kind of stuff, so this song always gives mea certain memory of a feeling I had a long while ago ...


Sure, I can kick it up a notch. Check out this raunchy Andre Williams number. It's like blues and indie-rock getting down-and-dirty together.

Isn't this great? It's only his superlow voice, bass, sax and drums. Can't you feel that slow bass vibrating through your whole body?They'renotaround anymore; the singer died in an accident. It's ttueyou really have to enjoy life as much as you am, while you're alive, don't you think?

Prince - Adore


_~~~~~ GSElI~


A soundappr~ach to seduction



Actually, something is playing. This is "4'33"" byanavant-gardecomposet,John Cage. It's 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence. One of the things he was trying to say was that the listeners are the performers. Sometimes you don't need. to listen to music, or even say anything. Gentlemen, the above tracks are not suggested as a playlist to make your play. They cannot be. There is no set

sOlllldtrack to love, no recommended selection for qffection. To have only one group of songs for so many potential situations truly lJJOllldbe mixtape madness. Don't drop the ball when you drop the needle; paint her a personalized poem with , sound. 24Hr Rim Hotline: 885-2950



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_FRIDAY, ~t\RCH 25,2005

• :he In Elena_..Sterling _."" _, n_______


___ ._____


a other standard movie s


adyertisers. Some people blame the actors l~ll: the dismal which I think is -unf"ir because Naomi \\'aus \\'as

arnan overall rnoYle buff. Su \vhen 1 heard "rm not yuU!

It seemed that the

()thers choose tr) blame the , lack as

rny excilemcnL sectncd that· ihc entire movie was Ti}'o \\as entire rno\,c \\~as to more a collection of a more ot a fulfill aU my un-collection of drunken ideas than a drunken ideas ans\vered Ql1CSgive me a stream of intelligent than a stream of taste of the cdp and piing fear that I and clever scenes like dcver~cenes like so missed, and the original. the original. give me another L however, reason not to choo~e to blame the apparent lack sleep at night. Sadly, it provided me -with none of of a script. Therewete actually times during the movie when I said to these things -- just a nagging case of myself, "\\1h08e idea was it to do narcolepsy. this? That makes no sense \vhatso-There are tTPical moments of action that are intended to make you ever." This time around, there was jump out of your seat, as hands reach no focus and no den~lopment of out of body bags and baths. For the situation, characrer or plot. There was no explanation for many secmost part, though, it seemed the \vhole movie was a hazy walk through tions (I challenge someone to exa bad dream, not the torrid nightplain the deer attack) ----it's as though mare I had been promised by someone just went poof"here is the

Less frightening than the prospect of your mom interrupting you in the bathtub, please flock to it and nmke me a lnillionaire a few tin1es o\'Cr:' In typical form, took a successful !ncr\.~c R.Dd ren1:1ae it (Ri;~gu to Tbf then btHChered it with a seyud. The most annoyingpart of this Hollywood rrarution is that it's never as second time, yet keep

thexn. Surne caB rbi~ nnUn,,);J11

and money '\vould have been betn:.r

Grad House plays host to some serious chill-out m.usic Jeff Anstett and Darren Hutz - ------"'.-,-"-.---,----..


---,---~ -~-~-



Getting away from the traditional insanity of the jolly green holiday, seeing Mike Dietrich at the Grad House on St. Patrick's Day was a nice change. _His decidedly laid-back set was just what the crowd seemed to want that night. Dietrich's mix of blues)' acoustic guitar (with an emphasis on walking bass lines traditional blues rhythms), and his upbeat jazzy piano/keyboard work showed his diversity as an artist. Dietrich proved his chops on both piano and guitar (as well as a terrific harmonica part on the original composition "Crossfire") on songs like "Pachelbel Light My Fire" which

melded Pachdbel's "Canon in D" and "Light My Fire" by The Doors. Dietrich played more original songs than covers -- something USH-ally not done for small acts in this town - but the quality of the songs proved why he got away\vith it. His covers were bluesy to begin, sowhen he slipped in his oribrinals, they fit perfectly. Dietrich's style drifted from a "Bob Dylan who can sing" to John Mayer, aU the way to jazzy rockers like Ani Difranco or Jon1 I'viitchell. lIe switched seamlessly between songs, never letting the audience slip away. The crowd was generally laid back for most of the night, which is exactlywhere Dietrich wanted them to be. Dietrich expertly pandered to his

then'! up for his cro'Nd, version of "}Iomc for a Rest" and

when Dietrich covered "i\lT\ -- :\i.akcs

the cro\vd a\v~~kc \vhile I)icn"i.t:h had hcc.t.

hirn~elf tl

Mike's style drifted from a 1180b Dylan who can sing" to John Mayer, all the way to jazzy rockers like Ani Difranco or Joni Mitchell. then winding them down his whimsical, rr.."""-,...,,h

demo d1,H C:ime with and u~{:d diffen;;nt

of proit up. It

was hilarious_ Dietrich took a hreak between his 1\VO sets up tl1:;: fit>or his younger brother to a hearted song ca.Hed "Clu'istmas Cron" ahout Yule-time

for janstette(~:yimprint.uwater!oo,ca

Imagination, but not a whole lot of substance Bli~getJones author disappoints \vith latest \vriting effort Helen Fielding Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination Penguin Publishin,l

lion is a book that has much to offer its readers. There's murder, intrigue, love and international travd. The only thing that Helen l'ieIding is n1issing in her latest release is e',len the slightt:st hint of substance or (kpth. \'i;'ith a cardboard cut-out fnr a heroine, it seems that J:''iclding, 'who received well-deserved raves over her lJri{{gi't jonl!J hooks, has fallen short this time around. The coyer do"sn't lie, Olivia Joules is a British journalist-who lets

her imagination mle ,,11<1 almost ruin life. She makes up news stories in her head and ;-hcn tries to make them a The reader follo\.vs Olivia';; somewhat profes$.1onaI around the world in the someone she believes to be an Ai,. Qacda krl"orisL The book does hav\;' some cntl;'ftainjng rn.omcnts) in that the·· inc visits senne no matter hov/ unbelievable rhe fir,;t Also, it


fast ,paced the reader's interest: han:R Olivia may not but at lcast she \von't

bore you, d,_her"

"fhe book is ar(fund ()E>;71a -'s ,'"'~'''A'''

ofh""r a lore btu· there is nne ra(::ked ()nto d)e t~nd

-- Chantal W!i!iams


FRIDAY. MARCH 25, 2005

"Gentle' Icelandic Giant",makes great Canadian music Erin Davidson SPECIAL TO IMPRINT


Lindy Vopnfjord is optimistic. And really, really tall .

Steven Spielberg


The amount of talent coming from the Canadian music scene is immense. ,New artists are emerging, begging for their work to be heard. It is often difficult for smaller, up-and-coming artists to have their moment to shine because Canada tends to put a massive ' spotlight on their more successful acts (I'm sure we've all heard of Avril Lavigne'S many Juno nominations). For listeners looking for great new Canadian talent, a singer-songwriter by the name of Lindy will surely grab your attention. A native ofGimli, Manitoba, Lindy V opnfjord had the privilege ofgrowingup with a musical family. His parents were Icelandic folkies who taught Lindy to play guitar at the age of two and eventually Lindy, along ,vith his entire familywere successful1yperforming shows together at music festivals. This background eventually led him to pursue a solo career. For ten years, Lindy has been creating music as a solo 'artist, andinJune 2004 he released his

latest album, Suspension ofDisbelief. He tours with his band. which is comprised of Sally Panavas on bass and Paul Brennan on drums. Lindy is often nicknamed, the "Gende Icelandic Giant" because of his optimism towards life and because he's just so damn tall! His sound is refreshing and honest as well as lighthearted. Lindy'S musical style is often categorized as acoustic folkl pop. Severalcomparisons have been made, linking his particular style with artists such as Paul McCartney, Coldplay and Radiohead, to name a few. However, Lindy only takes partially from these artists, creating his own distinctive sound. Once'you listen to" Suspension rif Disbeliif,youwillbetakenunderLindy's spell. His gentle, raspy voice coupled with the raw emotion and honesty of his lyrics proves to have a captivating effect. P..achsongisperfecrlyconslIl.lCred and showcases Lindy'S impressive vocal range and songwriting ability. His songs touch on themes of love, longing, heartbreak, and moments of contemplation and reflection ~bout

life. These are issues that all listeners can relate to. His firstsingie "Witness" is a catchy pop songaboutchasingafter your dreams and his current single ''Beautifully Undone," which is gaining success, is an honest reflection on past relationships. It is nearly impossible to choose a favourite song from this stellar album since each one is crafted so beautifully. Not only is Lindy'S album a reflection of his great musical ability, but his live performances solidify his talent. I have been to two of Lindy's performances and wow, can he ever put on a show! He is exciting and spontaneous (I am convinced that he may have been a stand-up comedian back in the day), and is always keeping his bassist Sally on her toes 'l.vith his improvisatiQns. In addition, lindy'S encores are among the highlights of his performances. Just being in the presence ofLindy-w1J.l bring a smile to your face - no one can resist the Lindy charml I don't want to give it all away, so I urge you to chec~ out lindy's next performance at Jane Bond i~ Waterloo, on March 30.

• • • the greatest, ftlmmaker In motIon-pIcture history

give their right arm, eye, or anything else, to enjoy the success, both commercial and artistic, that Spielberg has known. Look at the man's resume: from wonderful crowd-pleasers like Raiders rif the Lost ..:4.rk< and Jurassic Park to extremely touching, personal films like E. T. and Schindler's Ust. If Let me tell you why Spielberg is great. any filmmaker had even one of those It's quite simple, actually. Spielberg's to their name, for the rest of their lives movies are seen by more people, and they'd be regarded as a big gun. But loved by more people, than any other Spielberg's got them all. That tells us filmmaker who has ever lived: The that his success isn't a fluke anditisn't only person who could be said to luck-it's skill. have had more'of a universal influWhile many people are familiar ence is Walt Disney. The common with his ftlms, they may not be so thread between the two men does familiar with his behind-the-scenes not stop at their mass appeal. Not, accomplishments. He's mentored only does Spielberg, like Disney bemodern-day hotshots like Robert fore him, know how to speak to each Zemeckis. As a producer he's been and every one of us, but he's an artist. involved with coundess ftlms, from His ftlms are about something. This children's classics like The Gooniesto isn't going to b~ a particularly interhorror successes like Poltergeist. In estingpiece ofwriting for mostpeoaddition, he is a member of the pIe -'-love letters hardly ever are triumvirate of media moguls who but it's something that's got to be recendy founded Dreamworks said. ' the first real Hollywood studio since WhatI ftndinterestingis how the Fox, 70 years ago. Not only is he a man has been disregarded, ignored, ftlm director, but he's a mass-media and denied for so very long. Up until giant. And unlike most, dreams, not Schindler's Ustproved he could tell a money, is what drives him. "serious" story, nobody seemed'to Where did all of this talent, this want to acknowledge the fact that he knack for success, come from? A lifewas any good. The same holds true time ofdetermination, that's where. even tothisvery"day. Tellmariyafilm He wasn't handed anything on a silcritic that you think Spielberg is a great ver platter, he's had to fight just as artist, and they'll look at you as if hard as anyone else to get where he is you've just revealed that you're changtoday. When Spielberg was in his ing your name to Ubobulous. early twenties, he spent months on Spielberg? They'll ask. He's nothing the lot of Universal Studios. He had more then a shock-jockey, churning found a way to sneak onto the studio out popcorn flicks and movies for and then proceeded to befriend pro- • children. While those points can be ducers, directors and security guards. argued, they are far from the truth. He spent close to two years just hangWhile there are ftlmmakers out ing around the lot, observing. Deterthere who have been more mined to show what he was made of, groundbreakingormoreartistic, they' he filmed a shortcalledAmb5n'-the haven't mastered the perfect mix of name his production company:vould commercial and artistic storytelling take - and the rest is history. that Spielberg has. I'm quite sure that Many critics blame Spielberg, and any filmmaker on the planet would pal George Lucas, for the current

blockbuster mentality that Hollywood is plagued with. Because movies are costing more and more, studios are unvdllingto take chances. Since fewer risks are taken, there isn't milch growth. While itis true that Spielberg, along with Lucas and Francis Fom (,~hclpt'(h:ocrcate the modemday blockhuster, he is h:mily the cause of the problem. He merely stumhled upon a formula; it was others who decided to take advantage of it.

Hisrecentworkhasn'tbeenassuccessful as his past, but that doesn't mean he has dulled with age. Rather, heisatapointinhiscareer~herehecan

tell the small, personal stories he has always wanted (with the epic, blockhuster films in betweetl oi course), \Wle'%"e had "..,."'''','''''' ofSpidberg film.-s, aM I kwe them all. What makes him great is his skill. What makes him the greatest is that there has never been anyone like him.

20 ONLY AT: Brick Brewery located minutes from campus: 181 King S.ntr:ee~t;,;~~~~ Waterloo, ,()

I'm sure one day there \\1J.l be. But while we're all waiting for "the next Steven Spidberg," I'm certainly enjoying this one. I'm sure that the man whose name literally means "story mountain," the man who has shaped

what they are.


FRIDAY, MARCH 25, 2005

The best example is the title track, with its chugg--chuggguitat'S and simple, but catchy chorus hook underneath Scott Wade's athletic and fully unde.r control hardcoregrowl. 'Though parents and significant others may still find hardcore completely baffling, LVtlke tbe Deadis your best shot yet at converting pop-loving pansies to the dark side.

dolls and little notes written by hermaphroditic cbiklrcl1 dealing-with gender confusion. Odd way to market ?Jl album, ifyou ask me. Firstin1pression: strange and bad. This rimt~ however, the first in1pression is ent. I am aBirdNI))pis disappointing. Idg bad pianocentric reminiscent of T,)m Waits and mton John.

-- Ian Blechschmidt

sings with a srrongvibrato, but most of the tirnc he juSt sounds like Roy()rbison with a jackhammerup his ass. Songs like . "Spiraling" and "Free atLasr" have the potential all drone on too long and end up SOlU1d1ng awhvard and unbelievably :i!xmoying because ofthe singing.1hcre lS also some e.xperiment-al use ofrhythms and instruments, but il never matches the of till; albrun. -,-mAU!:n,,,-,,}

A1Jtony's voice is

Comeback Kid Wake the Dead Smallman RecordsNictory Records

Lots ofpeople hate hardcore. They hate

it because it sotmds angry. They hate it hecauseitlad,s melody. And they hate it becausehardcorevocalists usuallysOlmd like they've gotten their foot caughlin a lawnmowTr. W ake the Dead from Winnipeg's Comeback Kid has all kinds ofpotential to bring the haters into the fold. Far from being the math-core of more impenetrable (though unqut'Stionably \'vorthwhile) bands such as Converge, lFerko the Dead proves that Comeback Kid are experts in creating路 rnusic that is loud and aggressive without sacrificing the groove.

a-wiuL He

Scissor Sisters We Are Scissor Sisters and Sa Are You


Antonv and the Johnsons ! am a Bird Now

tolerable pans of this alhum.

I have a

that' there's some-

tr>nto tvn. \ rhe b~ind ;;}rnp~\; d1izes w"!rh you. Th~E would

Secretly Canadian

Album art Cllij frighten people away from good music. 1 a1l/ fl Bird NOH' has sU'ange images of men combined with

-_. Darren Hull





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quiet ambience, Boom Bip fills Blue Eyed in the Red Room with ten tracks of-simple spacious melodies. Unlike many acclaimed electronic al, bums, this album is neither experimentally inaccessible nor a cheesysynth-dance fest. The,simple acoustically sampledmelodies,arepiecerl together to create smooth yet volatile rhythms. :Many of the songs' structures show similarities to rock and pop compositions, choosing to , show repetition and build throughout both song and album. Songs like "Eyelashings" and "Aplomb" could be described as tighdy constructed pop as they lack the free nature that common electronic mu~ic possesses. The simplicity ofBoom Bip's song structure ' enables listeners to focus more on the sonic beauty of glossy tbnes and clean instrumentaChoke tion. Litde bells sparkle behind the bleeding harp Slow Fade OR: How I Learned To Quessound, providing a strong yet soft backdrop for tion Infinity Nina Nastasia's guest vocals on "The Matter." Smallman Records The only other vocal track, "Do's And Don'ts," featuring Super Furry Animals' GrnffRhys on After the lightning-fast, super-technical punk of vocals, lets the vocals bleed as a backdrop to the 1999's Frmvard, the meandering emo-rock of rhythmic percussion. their 2002 follow-up, There's a Story to This Mora~ seemed like an ill fit for Edmonton, Alberta's - Benjamin Ong Choke. Though it retainecl the intensely elaborate rhythm patterns and clear technical prowess familiar to Choke fans, the drawn-out but often under-developed tunes.on There's a Story to This Moral were often more disappointing (and, at times, annoying) than tbeywere grand. OnSlow Fade, however, Choke got it right. Listening to the constantly evolving melodiesGnthis album, onegetSithe impression that Choke has £mally gotten used to writing fiveminute songs. Rather than picking one pattern and hammering at it for five minutes instead of two, as with previous efforts, Slow J:<luIe lets its hooks and melodies wander and develop, creatinga fully epic feel thatleaves the listener satisfied at the end, rather than relieved. Sometimes it takes bands a couple of tties before theyrea1ly setde into a new sound, and this Billy Idol , seems to he the case with Choke. With SIowFade, Devil's Playground their awkward in-between stage is ending in SanctuarY favourofanewphaseoffast-moving,rock-tech awesomeness. With a ~ebel yell, Billy Idol returns to the conciousness of mainstream,musk with the - Ian Blechschmidt release of his latest CD, Dtvil's Playground. While many of us only know Idol's work from karaoke bas:r or the odd radio play, Idol's comeback 'Serves as a wake-up call for those who "Idol-ized" him back in the '80s. You'd expect that a comeback album released in 2005 would 6nly dampen the legacy Idol gave in the '80s but ... I hate to admit it, but the album is. actually pretty good. Idol stays true to the rock form that he's, so comfortable with and doesn't really compromise any artistic integrity - we'll leave that job to Rod Stewart. Catchy hooks are aplenty on Devil's Pltryground, notably on the opening song, "Super Overdrive," "Scream" and "Evil Eye." A cover of the Ernie Marr~ dassic, "Plastic Jesus," is a stand-out track and Idol even manages. to effectively make a Christmas song enjoyable Dana Edmonds with "Yellin' At The Xmas Tree." Hybrid Being However, there is an element of cheese that Hotcomb cannot be ignored (It's Billy freakin' Idoll). The album cover features Idol sneering at the IfybridBeing, the debut album by Montreal singer/ camera and the back cover has his autograph songwriter Dana Edmonds, is accurately titled plastered on it, Billy, do you really think you Insteadofadistinctnewtalent,wegetaFrankenstein can Intimidate your audience anymore? You're concoction of female rock elite: a soft voice that over 50 and the only thing that could intimirecalls Suzanne Vega, the acoustic sensihilityofAni date me is the amount ofRogaine you need to OiFrancoandthemusicologicaleyeofNellyFurtado. hide those greys. Unfortunately, Edmonds lacks the quirky songwtitingofanyofthem. Producer Ron Lopata's - David George-Cosh

solutionis topilethe samewann, cushybedofbass,

guitar, keyboards and bloodless drum programming onto every song. (Other than some scant pseudo-African drums, there is no live percussion on this album) Aimingforadultcontemporaty, he tumsIfybridBeingintoablobby,sameylite-funklull that often exposes the slightness of Edmonds' songwriting. Better track sequencing would have helped, too. \Vho~ brilliant idea was it to make track lOa remix oftrack eight (thedull''DreamSequence'')? Probably the same genius that obscured the album's strongest song r'Another Chance'') he~een the 1:\VO.

hooks that you have something to sing along to once in a while, but doesn't rely on them enough to make it formulaic. And Jonah Krieser's and Stacey Hahn's altematinggravclysmooth vocals put a perfect gloss on the whole ,


package. Ultimately, City of No Lights is all about balance - sophistication with accessibility, heavy punk influence with melodic sensibilities and aggression with restraint. An altogether killer concoction. -

Ian Blechschmidt


up with more good tunes like the catchy, otganic "AnotherChance" aOdtherelativclyfunky''IWas Done," she might follow such Canadian female poppeetsasMelanieDoaneandChantalKreviazuk intoCHYM-FMworkdayplaylistreverence.There are worse fates than that. • -

Mark Stratford

Geoff Gibbons , Sentimental Maniac Bu!lseyeReoords

Ghosts of Modern Man City of No Lights Smallman Records

''Post-hardcore" sounds like a word invented by bands that aren't heavy enough to be called hardcore, bu't don't want to be lumped in u>ith all the otheremo bands out there (and who can blame them). Naturally, then, when the word "post-hardcore" crops up, one can't help but be suspicious ofthe band to which it is being applied. Despite the post-hardcore label in the press release, however, the debut disc from Regina four-piece Ghosts of Modern Man kicks, in no , uncertain terms, some serious ass. City rifNo Ughts is a great blend of hardcore feel with emo construction. Songs don't so much ~ander between high~ and low-energy sections as drive through them with the pedal all the way down. The album throws in enough

SefltinteRtolMt1fIim:proved to be Ii very mellow. andchilCDwithmeaningfuHyrics.However, this album is not to be played at a house party ·for guests \1nder the age of 60 years old or as a warm up to a basketball game.Still it exhibits true songwriti;tg abilities and melodies that are ear-friendly.. Although Gibbons' voice may not send shivers down your spine, his guitar-playing skills are decent and he does write his own" lyrics-an increasing rarity in the music industry. However, his lyrics have an ongoing theme - depression- which is mirrored in the style of his songs.. His musical style remains the same throughout the CD, making many of the songs sound just like the former. It's one thing to have a couple songs on your album about depression, but a whole album's worth? A country twang is tossed into the repertoire as well as a burlesque-reminiscent song that is significantly more upbeat, yet still weighted down with his oh-so-sad lyrics. Overall, a good CD-one to be listened,to on those days when nothing seems to be going right and you just want to know that romeone's Hfe is worse thrut yours. f


Tiffany Dejak

[71"1:\· ·1)1]' S

I 'N!


Sloan reject (and that's not a stab at Sloan). Outrageous Cherry sounds like a band that's played at Bluenotes.Does that make them bad? No, but it makes them like shopping at Bluenotes: not a particularly memorable experience. -

Kate Cook








This is probably why I have never been able to fully integratetriyselfinto this style ofmusic, no matter how bard I try. , And that's preciselywby I couldn't really enjoy OfMalice and the Magmnn Hemt., the debut album from Misery Signals. Ym \l,>illingto betthaiyou've never heard of this hardcore band that hails from both WlSCOOSin and Edmonton, Alberta - but you might have heard of their producer, Devin Townscend from St,rapping Young Lad. Townscencl. being a mthet wel-known figure in harclcore,does a.clcl some credibility to what could be anOther throw-awayalbum.

llutevenTownscend'spresence~the . knobs won't save this album from a new life as a coaster for the beer Ym currently drinking. With

Outrageous Cherry Our Love Will Change the World

inconsistentmelodiespresentinmanyofthesongs, .some uninspiringguitarworkandlyrics thatmake me laugh. outloud such as "1 cannot hide that my beartfalls when I seeyou/Somethinginmetums . to murder," from "l\:1urder". Insteadofrockout,it's safetosay I'llneverlisten to this shlteveragain. Ipollutemyownearssothat you don't have to.


Our Love Will Change the Wotid is the fifth album from Detroitindie-pop band Outrageous Cherry. The bandhas been togetbersitlce '92, yethaveavery , ,new,"we haven't found our style," sound yet. For a band thathas been together for over a decade they soundverymuchlikeabandthatistryingtoricleon the coattails ofThe Strokes' "garagerock"poptUar. ity. But hey, maybe the other albums have a completely different sound. OurLove lf7iUChangethe Wot1dfeatures 12 guitar, bass and clnunlightrock songs that tend to favour words like "girl" and "love."Thesong''Why Don't We Talk About Something Else" sounds like a



Misery Signals . Of Malice and the Magnum Heart

David George.Cosh

Selena 7ty Six This Girl's ute Big DaddyRecords

This CD contains everything needed for a weak R&Balbum:numerous !DCksfeaturingunknown artists with horrible names ("Lazah ~'), the mandatory song about leaving her cheatio' man and aremalrethatbutchersanotherarrlst's song. In this case, Selena managed todestroy Bob Marley's ''Redemption Song." • TIHsGirfsLifeisa(,Dcmnmedwithcrappygirl


PO\l,U songs lacking catclty mebtics that wQUkl make the listener willing to overlook the oonsensicallvrics. Selenadescribes herwholealbumwhen

You know, the thing I hate about really aggressive hardcoremetalis the factthatI can't understand a thing the voc~t 1S singing/yelling.

she ~ys in onebfher~, "This is justanother song..."ThatiswhatherCDis:-justmoresongs. 1\1lind.thisisaCDofan~desperareIy

L._"-_Mtha .

__ L,._Jl:-."L___ .'. "illW'~$J4"W_~



,this: a ~wo&.x;lyricsthat~esense~a name that does notinclucle the use ofnumberi; to

spell-butofcoursc, thelatterisjusta~

Paper 8ag Records

If! were a girl, 1'd start my own rock band with acouple other girls. And I bet in did just that, it'd sound exacdy like Magneta l.ane's debut album, The Constant Lover. • The band is comprised of three women who hail from Toronto and managed to get noriced and signed to the same label (paper Bag Records) as Stars, controller.controller and Hawaii, aplongst otheiwdl-known Canadian indieacts. Their soqpd admittedly borrows heavily .• from The Strokes'Julian Casablanca as well as anotherall-girlband,Sleatcr-Kinney, but manages to remain fresh and fluid throughput the album. Among the album's highlights, "Mare of the Night" is a toe-tapping rock-fest,that won't leave my head for:a few weeks and "Sweet l.ovin~ Man" lovingly pays tribute to the Supremes' well-honed '60s sound. ·The standout of the album, however, is the ride track. It details the tale of a girl who thought she's fouodlove,' only to have her lover walk away and hope that one day he'll come back. The bridge, "She loved, he camel He will come back again," offers a display of tenderness and delicacy while juxtaposing itself with a driving drum beat. , Unfortunately, since this album is onfy six songs long it only makes me anticipate hearing the next batch of songs that'll come from these ladies in the near future. Here's hoping I won't have to wait too long.

Sleeper Set Sail A Foreward" SonicUnyon "

£<'01' many, music serves as an ootlet from life's lwdshlpsand troubles.' There are certain uplifting ttaitsinmusic, varyingfromperspecrivetopcrspectiveandeartoear. Althoughinstrument:all.ysoond,

SleeperSetSail"sAFomIllmlmaynotnecessarilybe a'comfotting tool for our use, but rather for our siblings in high school The opening chords of "Vfejacket" start the albumwith a perfect resemblance ofour favourite Moneen and Sunny Day Real Estate albums. ~theinterwovenmdodicguitarriffs,build­

ing up to multiple peaks and subsequent breakdowns, the listeneris able toengagewith the artisfs emotions as it is continually crushed and re-uplifted. The poetic lyrics are embeclclecl with metaphors()ftriangularcirdcsandderaileclttaios~are

periodicallysewnontopofbeaurifullyconstructed synth-string bridges. Thus, be assured, thatin times oflonelinessand

teenaged angst,SleeperSetSail~>ill provide refuge and comfort.


David George-Cosh

- Benjamin Ong


FRIDAY, MARCH 25, 2005

right away. It gets decent mileage, but only ifyou don't really want to take it very far. Aside from one or two stand-out tracks, this record is wholly unexceptional. Butitwillgetthe job done if it's all that you can afford.

-::">' "."



Ian Blechscl:lmidt

some are exttemclywell-placed clements, particularly the distortion guitar. Thereis nothingcatchyabout Winter Equinox, soittakesabitofpatiencetoreallylistento,butthere are a few thoroughly good songs if you give it a chance. Coming from a CD player, this music is difficultto absorb. All the layeringand slow builds wouldcommurucatemuchmoreeffectivclytoalive

audience. - Darren Hutz

tion to their songu路riting." Unfortunately, they didn't even manage to be that good. Most tracks on the album are flaccid and fall short of being barely interesting. The male lead vocalist, Marc :\,{ollot, comes off sounding like Travis T rittafter a bender. He tries to pull countty-esque swoons 路with a raggedy voice. The style occasionally fits the lyrics and the music, but for the most part, just ends uP. sounding mismarched. The guitar riffs are lame arid repetitive. The band's website compares them to C2 and Coldplay, both of which are accurate comparisons in my book, those bands bore me to



Relient K MmHmm Capitol

Emo is like American auto design: it's either really good or absolutely awful. \\'7hen it's done well (think Brand New, the Get Up Kids or the Weakerthans), emo is the Dodge Viper of musical expression, a mix of power and aesthetics that can crack the shell ofeven the most hardened punk rock cynic. When it's done pootiy, however, the brakes fail and the thing explodes on impact, killing everyone aboard. Just like the K-car from which the band steals its name, Mmhmm falls rightin the middle of this dichotomy. It's heavy, but not exceptionally so. It's sappy, but not enough to make you hate it

winter equinox demo'02

Winter Equinox Demo 02 Self-Published

Are you in search of atmospheric pseudo-techno music? Look no further. In this CD there are a",idevarietyofdifferent sounds including bass, drums and many ~-nth颅 effects. Some are roo s~-nthetic for my liking. Om

Audiochrome pieces Cutting Room Records

The songs all seem to have one thing in common: melancholic masturbation. Each track reads likea crying teenagerwhogot rejected at the school dance. So much for sophistication. Perhaps the only saving grace of this album is the rich, sexy voice of the female lead, Marlo . Campbell. She deals out absolutely gorgeous vocals and manages to save the few songs she sings on from the horrid riffs and keyboard solos that accompany her. The album is shortand almost utter garbage. lfitweren't for the wonderful voice ofCampbell, this would be a waste of15gworth ofplastic and aluminum.While the whole thing won't stay in my CD player for long, the few sultry songs are almost worth the buy.

Audiochrome's second album was shooting, in the band's words, "to add a level of sophistica-

- Tim Alamenciak

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SCIENCE ,& TECHNOLOGY ~L~~ Maggots might be. a medical marvel' Penny Micbelle Rorke IMPRINT STAFF

Antibiotics are no longer the wonder drugs they used to be and the medical world is scrambling to find alternative methods of helpingus heal. A new generation of concerned doctors are going backin history in hopes ofdecreasing the use of antibiotics. Maggot medicine has a long history dating back to 200 years ago when Napoleon's surgeon wrote of the healing powers of the little

creatures. They versity of York is recruiting 600 pawere also used tients across Britain for the world's in the Civil largest maggot trial. It aims to help reduce the annual £600 million (51.2 War and World War I, billion CDN) cost of treating leg but then forgotten ulcers that affect one percent of the about when antibiotics UK population. were discovered in the 1940s. The three-year trial will involve three types of treatments; loose sterMaggots are, very efficient in ile maggots and sterile maggots in a cleaning up wounds by eating the dead tissue and bacteria that can block bag\\-nile the remainder will be given the healing process, unlike antibiotics a standard treatment using hydrogel that have to be taken orally and affect «Maggot therapy is being used althe whole body (knocking our natu- ~ ready," says Raynor. "But we want to ral bacterial systems out of balactually test its efficacy in the cleanance).Superbugsarenomatch mg and healing of wounds. It's also for these gteenbottle larvae - Lucilla sericata - the only thing they won't eat is healthy tissue. Dr. Pauline Raynor of the Uni-

A bug'S life

Leena Singh S~ECIAL


Insect Cops on Duty The life of a tree wasp is not easy. , Day in and day out, they dutifully look after the queen's offspring, oc~ casionally stopping to spit a rupny meal into the mouth of a larva. However, some insects selfishly lay their own eggs in empty cells rather than taking care of the queen's eggs. However, offenders in the insect community do not go unpunished. "Punishment among msects is meted out by ordinary workers, and sometimes the queen herself," says biologist Tom Wenseleers, of the Institute for Advanced Study in Berlin. The angry workers will grab the offender and try to sting her, while the queen destroys the laid eggs. Biologists studying insect societies understand them as models for studying altruism, where workers look out for the common good.


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about patient quality of life. Does it heal more quickly, compared to conventional treatments? Does it mean that, for example, patients have to make fewer visits to their GPs? These wounds can be severely debilitating, and maggot therapy seems to work \vell." The Americans are so cominced of the thera-' peutic qualities that, last year, the humble m:lggot became the first live animal to gain appronl as a medical , "device" by the Food and Drug Administration. Leeches were next on the list, being used for severed veins, skin and even , limbs, which have a greater chance of successful reconnt'Ction if treated with the little bloodsuckers first.

Leeches suck congested blood from a trauma site and then excrete a blood-thinning enzyme t~ avoid further coagulation. Maggots and leeches might not be the technoiogicaHy advanced solution that we would expect, but patients don't seem to mind. Squeamishness is not an issue for those that are faced daily with the sight of pressure ulcers, diabetic foot ulcers, chromc leg ulcers, gangrenc and other non-healing wounds that drain blood and pus all day and smell bad. For these patients, maggots save lives and limbs.

Why is my Google leaking?

Wenseleers said that insects are simply "oppressed workers in a police state."

to share not only possessions but life experiences as well as happiness, more than couples who live together.

Married people are happy - but only if your spouse is hapi)y ~ick Powdthavee, a researcher at the University ofWarwick revealed to the Royal Economic Society'S Annual Conference on Tuesday that a married person is significantly more satisfied with life if their spouse is satisfied \\i.thlife. However, Powdthavee found no evidence of this among couples who prefer cohabitation to marriage. 'Powdthavee came to this conclusion from analyzing life satisfaction data from the 9,704 married individuals in the British Household Panel Survey (1996-2000 and 2002). Although this mformation is widely assumed, it is rarely studied. Researchers found "a 30 per cent increase in the spouse's life satisfaction score from 'the previous year can completely ~ffset the negative impact of unemployment on the respondent's life satisfaction." The same research conducted \\ cohabiting couples did not find the same evidence for life satisfaction among unmarried couples. These results lead to the assumption that married couples tend

New Fingerprint Detection Technology C nl.versity of California "dcnriH5 !, bul1d::nll: COI1()CIl!'S. Thi~ have developed a technology for deindudes :t living machine that comAccording to the illustrious Canabines conventt'onal technology and tecting fIngerprints known as microdian culturalist Rex Murphy, Google wetland plants to purify the build- . X-ray fluorescence (MXRF). Reis ''bridging the insufferable gap being's waste water, which is then searchers believe this new technoltween sloth and scholarship." Now used to irrigate the ~urrounding ogy "has the potential to help expand just consider \\-nat your life, nor to the use of fingerprinting as a forensic hmdscape. mention your university career, \\uuld The main event of the course, investigation tool." be without the magic of the Internet however, was a two day American MXRF detects the sodium, potas- knowledge ~really is power, my \~'ater ~'orks Association water consium and chlorine elements present friends. servation workin salts such as sodium 'chloride and And the influshop in Sannpotassium chloride, which are e~­ ence Google creted in sweat. "The elements are ...with slogans like nah, Georgia. wields over our The sessions detected as a function of their locaIIWe're making~ en- looked at the common cultural tion on a surface, making it possible psyche is growto 'see' a fingerprint where the salts in emies faster than we challenges shifting 'from a ing, which is why have been deposited in the patterns them ... " and crisis managemy heart was can of fingerprints, the lines called fricwarmed on tion ridges by forensic scientists." ment mentality to IIRegime change a comprehensive This new technology has the aPvl\l1- Tuesday to see that Google was begins at home." approach to watage' over traditional fingerprint dedripping into a tection methods in that the suspected ter resources little, cup. management. area does not need to be treated with C nbeknownstto me, it was \'<'orld powders. Addingpowders orvapours One of their goals is to get Water Day - I'd like to thank Google to surfaces ofleather, plastic or wood ordinary people - like you and once again for expanding my unioften make it difficult to detect fmthat hottie that's distracting you verse. from your end of term papers gerprints. \'//orld \'{'ater Day was established to understand and take note of by the Cnited Nations and first celyour pattern::; of water consumpebrated in 1993. This year marks the tion. \'{'hen people are knowledgebeginning of an Interqational Decable about their own habits it transade for Action ''\'\'ater for Life" in lates into a heightened sensitivity order to provide clean, safe drinking to the possibilities of industry and \"'ater for the 1.1 billion people on the businesses becoming more water planet who are currently without it. efficient as well- exploring tech\'{'ater has become an increasnologies like the ones showcased ingly hot topic that, like povcny and at the ALJC. climate change, most people are too The trip also took the Tex-:\lex busy \vatching TV to notice. Bringgroup to Austin, Texas and Nuevo ingworries about our most precious Laredo in Tamaulipas province, non-renewable resource to the foreMexico. Jeff Harti, a fourth year front is a great challenge for our environment and resource studies generation - and slo\vly, it's being student, noted that Austin is a hotaddressed. bed for liberal acti.on. The week before reading break, a field trip set out from the enviSee WATER, page 29

ronmental studies building headed ultimately for :\Iexico. Their first stop was Oberlin College in Ohit) and the Adam Joseph Lewis Centre for Environmental Studies. The AJLC building is designed




Water: arm yourselves with necessary knowledge to fight injustice Continued from page 28

This is despite the fact that Austin is in II. notoriously red state. One of the highlights was stopping by the house of Two Unemployed Democrats - a web based company spe" cializing in bumper stickers and tshirts with slogans liJ<.e H\X路e're mak-

ing enemies faster than we can kill them ... " and "Regime change begins at home." He also emphasized the rampant poverty of the border town of Nuevo Laredo with its discountdrugstores,low-paying factories and violent street crime.

H\X'hen you live in poverty, you don't really have time to think about the environment," said Hartt. This point really hit home in the dirty streets of the Mexican border town that sits on the banks of the heavily polluted Rio Grande. The water sanitation

services we often take for granted are severely lacking in Nue,'o Laredo where, according to an outdoor advertisement, there is a booming . business diarrhea remedies. You don't really haye to embark on a special field trip find out about social


injustice and emironmental degredatton. Google giyes you the gift of knowledge -arm such a weapon and you will go farther than you eyer imagined.


That's it. You're never borrowing my X-Men DVD again. Shh. I'm about to foil the evil Magneto.



+ or call


to set up a showing!

Get a, coupon for a Dom"ino's Pizza with stud~nt tax preparation. Come in today or call 1-800-HRBLOCK


Offer good at participating H&R Block office, in Canada, from Februaf\ll, 2005 to May 2,2005. Pizza coupon given with any purchase of student tax prep~ratlon selVlce at $29.95 P'?f ,tilden!. Pizza COb1X>" v:>/!d for 3 med!~m on...t~ pint. ~I p~rtKlpilW1g inmiM's b:atH""

SERVICES 'Ultimate Questions" The Lord Jesus Christ is the difference. Learn about Him. Bible study by correspondence. Please send name and address to: Bible ;tudy, Zion United Reformed Church 1238 Main St., Sheffield, ON LOR 1Z0 )r e-mail bible@zurch.on:ca. See web lite: on Links, 1sk for book. Sign up today, it's free. ferm paper help from dedicated writng professionals with more than 30 rears experience. E.S.L., research & .vriting, editing and proofreading, enunce letters and thesis help. Toll free 1-888-345-8928 or We fix any computer problem - $55 flat - plus free diagnosis! Pop ups, viruses, ;pam, hardware - we fix it all. Visit our ;tore or call 747-5979. Waterloo Netvorks, 220 King Street N., across from nu, behind Phil's. ::ustom essay writing and research asistance - Essay Experts can 'Yrite an esay or research papers on any topic, level md for any deadline. Call 1-877-974['EXT or visit vlotorola cell phone unlocking/ mbranding/upgrades/customizations ;t 5. _ E-mail or call '21-1231 if interested.

FORSALE :omputer: pm 700 Mhz, 128 RAM, 15 ;B Quantum Fireball HDD, VIA Tf82C596B chipset motherboard, ATi lage 128 video card, Creative CT4750 ound card, 3 COM Fast Etherlink XL 'CI. $125.00 cash or cheque.. Call 888,048 or come to SLC1116.


Room for rent - uptown Waterloo, Caroline and Erb Streets. Call 496-8273 and ask for Teresa or Bob. Room for rent for a quiet individual in a detached home near both universities. Parking and all amenities. Please call 725-5348. Free Apartment Finder Servicesl Over 8,000 apartments in our database. We make appointments, you save time! High rise, low rise, town homes, furnished and unfurnished. All prices! Call now for this free service. 310-7000., ' Three bedroom apartment for September and May, $395 per room. Five bedroom apartment on 449 Hazel, $350 per room September'1, 2005. Two one bed-. room $900-$700, 122 Columbia, 8 rooms. 746-6327 or 501-1486. ' Call Waterloo Off-Campus Housing ()v.O.C.H.) for all your housing needs. Quality service and quality housing at 747-7276. 23B High Street, off Hazel, on bus route 'to University. Three bedroom modern self-contained apartment with kitchen, livingroom, modern bathroom, laundry room with free washer/dryer. Lease May 1 or,September 1,2005 (12 month lease). $415/student!month, utilities included. Call June Smith (416) 491-1370 or (416) 705-5648 or e-mail September 2005 to August 2006 - five bedroom house. Great Uptown Waterloo location. Close to all amenities. Parking and laundry facilities. Available to a group of five at $319/studentlmonth. Call Mike at 888-7377 or e-mail September Rental - 3 bedroom townhouse in student complex. Excellent unit with new carpets and vinyl being installed before move in. New ap-

pliances. Utilities included $350 per bedroom. Call Darlene 746-1411. May Rental - 3 bedroom large multilevel townhouse. Excellent student townhouse complex professionally managed. Utilities included for $350 per bedroom. It doesnt get any better than this!! Call Darlene at 746-1411, Haney PM. May 1st 3 bedroom triplex - fully furnished, shared kitchen and bathroom, parking, laundry, non-smoker, cleaning. lady two times per month to clean kitchen and bathroom. Rent from $400.00 per month. Viewing 153 Weber Street N., Waterloo. Call 884-4764. Best sublet ever - spend this summer in an ail"-conditioned home with pool and tennis coutt next door. Partially furnished bedroom, fully furnished livi)lg rooms, kitchen with dishwasher, free laundry, free parking. Price negotiable. E-mail Sublet: May - August, 1-5 bedrooms available, 147B Web~r ~t. $299 + utilities. Close to plaza, 2 bathrooms, 2 fridges, washer & dryer, cable and internet hookups, parking, negotiable.747-8445. Quali~y townhouses availabfe for Fall from $330 to $390. Call Kate (905) 8253196 or kate Six bedroom century home, large principal rooms, hardwood floors, verandalt loft" fireplace, garden and laundry $1,850. Four bedroom, two storey lofr, approximately 2,000 square feet, utilities included, near Uptown Waterloo $1,495. Call Bianca 722-1598 fro~ 2:00 to 7:00 p.m. or 496-5884 afrer 7:00 p.m.

HELP WANTED Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with de-

velopmental challenges. Minimum eightmonth commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. New club and restaurant opening May 2005. Accepting applications for all positions. Please mail resume with cover letter to: Attention: Bar Manager, 7-140 University Ave., W., Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 6J3 or apply in person to same address on March 24 or 31 between 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Bring in valid Smart Serv ID. Wait persons with Sip program and line cooks needed weekends and weekdays at Angies. Call 747-1700, Sharon or Mike.

KW Rowing Club are looking for volunteer coaches. Please call 745-6276 for further information. Models wanted by established photographer, no experience necessary. Hourly pay $25-550. Call 615-8060. Imprint distribution workers needed for springlsummer term. Contact Laurie at SLC1116 or e-mail adsifi

TRAVEL New York Hostel - $20 per night - special long stay S105 per week, minimum 3 weeks - double room $60 and 565 Call Gisele at 1(112)666-0559 or fax 1(212)663-5000.

CAMPUS BULLETIN ANNOUNCE Wanna ... live purposefully - lead passionately - influence powerfully? Twenty 20 welcomes you! Twice a month - bus pickup at UW, SLC at 6:45 p.m'and WLU underpass at 7:00 p.m. For more info call 744-7447 or or pauld( Philosophy in Action. Join a discussion that looks at how philosophy applies to everyday life. Saturdays and Wednesdays at 7:00 p.m. in downtown Kitchener - 742-4433 (leave message). Check out an the events happening in the Student Life Centre at http:// www.studentservices.uwaterloo.calslc! events.htm. International students: experience a unique Canadian sport. Try broombali! It's played on ice, similar to ice hockey, but no skating required. Women and men play together - everyone is welcome (Canadians too). Contact uw for more inf;;rmation. Linda Perez's Existere to commemorate International Women's Day at the Waterloo Community Arts Centre, March 4 to April 2. This Kitchener artist has created a series of life-size sculptures using dear padcing tape and her own body as a model. For more information please contact Sher DiCiccio, 886-4577, or visit www.sentex.netl-wcacweb/ Nominations are requested for the fOllowing seats on Senate: Graduate Student Representatives - Two graduate students ofthe university to be'elected by/from the full and part-time graduate students of $e university, terms from May 1,2005 , to April 30, 2007. Nomination forms are available from the Secretariat (ext 611.5) and from the Secretariat webpage; see http://www.adm.uwaterloo.calinfoseci e1ectionslnomelections.htm. At least five nominators are required in eaclt case. Nominations should be sent to the Chief Returning Officer, secretariat, Needles Hall, room 3060 no later than 3:00 p.m., Wednesday, March 30, 2005. Elections will follow if necessary. Graduate student member of Senate whose term expires as of April 30, 2005 and is eligible , for re-election: Heather Murray (Biology).

FINANCIAL AID March 2005 (Needles Hall, ext 3585). ,(:heck it oui! Finans:ial Aid on the new Quest system. Check under 'Finances',to view your Financial Aid summary, including bursary and scholarship awards. Not sure if your fees are arranged? Check under your Account Summary to view your registered status. National Student Loan Service Center is on campus every Friday, NH 1123, throughout March. Scholarships Available: QEII Silver Jubilee Award for Study in a Second Official Language for 2nd or 3rd year students who wish to pursue studies in their second official language at another Canadian university. The award value is $5,000 plus travel expenses. UW deadline is March 28, 2005. Millennium Excellence Award Program National In-Course Awards for full-time students completing 2nd year in any program. The award value is from $4,000 to $5,000! UW deadline is June 1,2005.

J.R. Coutts Intem.uiona! Experience Awards - open to undergraduate students in any faculty who wish to participate in an international work or study exprience from May 1, 2005 to April 30, 2006. U\'ii' deadline is March 31, 2005. For further information check out the Student & FiI13nciai Aid website!infoowardsi

UPCOMING Monday, March 28, 2005 Central Ontario Orchld Socieq' general monthly meeting at St. Joseph's Church (CourdandiMadison, Kitchener) at 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. There will be speaker/seminar1demos.libra!'}; plant sales tables, supplies, raffles" show tables" refreshments and good company. free to visitors. Call 634-5540. Tuesday, Marclt 29, 2005 Jewish Studies Lecture titled "Editing Life: The Golem in the Biotech Century, ~ at 7:30 p.m. at St. Jerome's Siegfried Hall. Everyone welcome, free admission. Alzheimer Society presmts "Moving your loved one into long-term care, ~ at Sun. shine Centre. 139 Father David Bauer Dri'l,-e, Waterloo from 6:3() to $:30 p.m. Cal! :42-1411 to register. Thursday, March 31, 2005 End of term MEum Party~ - hosted by the Polish and Romanian Clubs, .it the Bomber. Doors open .it 8:00 p.m. Thurs. March 31 &. Fri. April 1, 2005 . Learning outside the box - there will be a keynote speech by Dr. Maggie Mamen Ph.D, C.Psych ~Piece by pie..-e: putting the LD puzzle together" Thursday from 6:30 to 9:00 p.m. at the Waterloo Memorial Recreation Centre. friday there will be several workshops that run from 8:.30 a.m. m 3:30 p.m. Register online at '\lI."",' or can Webster Educational at 519-884-0004. Sawrday, April 2, 2005 Peace (personal and global) - an exploration in the light of universal spirituality, at uw, SLC roonu 1134/2135 at 7:00 p.m. Thursday, April 7, 2005 Single and Sexy auditions from 6:00 to 9:00 p.m. Watch Imprint for more details. Saturday, April 9, 2005 Spring compost workshop - 925 Erb Street, w., Waterloo from 1:00 to 4:30 p.m. To reserve a seat call 88.3-5100, ext 8423.

VOLUNTEER The MHATES program is looking for volunteers. Students will receive training to offer educational and support services to peers coping with mental health issues. Applications available at Health Services 123B. The City of Waterloo is recruiting volunteers for Busker's Carnival, director of administration and for tocal Senior Games, organizer. Call 888-6488 or wmacintosh(a city. for information. Creative submissions! The NewManic Magazine is looking for writers - we are a new on-campus magazine, focusing on fiction, non-fiction poetry and visual arts. Send your submissions to uwarts.mag(a

FRIDAY. MARCH 25, 2005


Warriors upset at nationals in Halifax Men's basketball team enters CIS tournament ranked seventh; leaves ranked ninth James Rowe IMPRINT STAFF

The Warriors men's basketball team had a disappointing weekend at the CIS Championships in Halifax. The Warriors were eliminated in the first round of the tournament that was won by the Carleton Ravens for the third consecutive year. In what would be the only upset of the tournament, seventh seeded Waterloo fell to the hometown St. Mary's Huskies by a score of7866. The Huskies were the number ten seed in the ten-team tournament. The Warriors were undone by a poor shootingperformance, connecting on just 32 per cent of their attempts. The Huskies meanwhile took advantage of their familiar surroundings to shoot a solid 48 per cent from the field. The Huskies were able to dictate the pace of play early on, slowing down the up-tempo Warriors, forcing them into ahalfcourtgame. St. Mary's took a 31-23 lead into halftime as the Warriors missed shotafter shot from three point range. The second half saw the Huskies pull away thanks to the play ofNelson Carvery. Carvery, a fourth-year forward, lit up the Warriors, at one point scoring 10 points in a three-minute span. He would score 15 points in the half to give him a game high 23 overall. CarveifS15COring outburst allowed the Huskies to stretch their lead to as many as 21 points. Waterloo was able to trim that lead to just eight with 2:35 to play, but would get no closer. UW was led by Dave Munkley and Graham Jarman with 20 points apiece in the losing effort. Jarman's performance earned him player of the game honours for the \'llarriors. \Vaterloo coach Tom Kieswetter gave full credittoSt.l\fary'sfortheirvictory. "They made great shots and played very smart under the boards. We wanted to shut down their big scorers, butCarvery made some really nice shots in the second half." Although the loss eliminated the Warriors from tide contention, their tournament was not over. The Warriors were pitted against the Brandon Bobcats in the ninth place game. The Bobcats had lost their opening game against the University ofOttawa. The Warriors came out ready to play, asitwould be the finalgame as a Warrior for seven graduating players. Both teams played an up-tempo game that led to lots of transition baskets and the Warriors \ventinto the recess vlith a 37-31 lead. Waterloo was led in the halfby the play offirst year guard Daniel White. W'hite, a native of Waterloo, had been held scoreless all season in seeing limited action. After being inserted into the lineup with four minutes remaining in the half, White prompdy nailed a trifecta ofthree pointers to lead the team with nine points at the half. TJW's strong sh~oting continued in the second half and they held on to the lead the entire way, although the Bobcats were able to get within three late in the game. Coach Kieswetter gave his entire lineup some experience, with all 13 players seeing the floor. The Warriors would go on to a 71-63 victory over the Bobcats, thanks to their outside shooting as they hit 6 of 13 attempts from beyond the arc. White added another triple to go 4 for 4 on the game ~with 12 points.

The rookie was named player of the game for the Warriors, a remarkable feat after being held scoreless all season while rarely receiving any playing time. Brandon's player of the game was Yul Michael who had 15 points. The Warriors are hoping the game represented a passing of the guard from their seven graduating players to the youngsters such as White. The players whose careers came to an end are Jarman, Munkley, Mike Sovran, Andrew Coatsworth, Gerard Magennis, Chris Edwards, and Andrew Wesdake. The remainder of the tournament saw the seedings hold true to form as the favoured teams won every game. Carleton, Concordia, Brock, and St. Francis Xavier all advanced to the semifmals, ,vith only Brock having to win a close contest. In the first semi-final, the number two Concordia Stingers dominated Brock from start to finish, 'vinning bya score of59-46. Both teams struggled with their shooting in this one, both finishing at 31 percent for the game. The Stingers were able to hold CIS Player of the Year Kevin Stienstra to just 13 points in the game, a big reason forthcirvictory. The second semi-final saw top-ranked Carleton and fourth-ranked St. FXin arematch of last year's tide game. The Ravens built a 20 point lead with 14 minutes to play,on1r to see it disappear in the final minutes. St. FX had a chance to tie the game at the buzzer but fteshman Tyler Richards missed a layup attempt as time expired. The X-Men "''ere able to comeback thanks to the play of forward Neil MacDonald who scored a tournament-high 29 points in a losing effort. A crowd of5,359 people filed into the Halifax Metro Centre for the championships game between the top two seeds on Sunday afternoon, and they were treated to a remarkable shooting performance. The Ravens, who were looking for their third consecutive tide and 78th consecutive victory, came out and hit ten three-pointers in the first half to take a 39-31 lead at the break. Carleton didn't slow down in the second half, nailing triple after triple, led by third-year guard Osvaldo Jeanry. Jeanry would finish as high scorer in the gamewith 24 points, shooting 8 for 12 from three-point range. As a team, the Ravens made an astonishing 15 of30 three-point attempts on their way to the 68-48 victory. They shot 53 per cent overall compared to 31 per cent for the Stingers. Concordia made just 1 of 19 thn:e-point attempts in the game. A big factor in the outcome of the game was the play of Concordia's all-Canadian guard Philippe Langlois, who was held scoreless,missing all seven of his field goal attempts. Jeanty, the championship game MVPthe last two years and tournament MVP in 2003, was named game l\lVP once again. Ravens guard Mike Smart was awarded the Jack Donohue Trophy as tournament MVP for the second consecutive year. The tournament all-star team consisted of Aaron Doornekamp ofCarleton, PatrickPerrotte and Benjamin Sormonte of Concordia, 'Garry Gallimore ofSt. FX, and Morgan Fairweather of Brock.


'During a break at one of their practices in Halifax. the Warriors men's basketball team poses for one of their last ...., photos,." aM-I6 tum, 1be tum

finished ninth 8th as~~t.

Volunteers Needed! ',It


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Student Life 101 is just around the comer and we are looking for enthusiastic student volunteers to help us greet an expected 8,000 visitors on Saturday, July 23,2005. For more information or to sign up as a volunteer please visit: OR Drop by the Federation of Students office. SLC 1102 where you can fill out an application and drop it in the yellow Student Life 101 Volunteer Box! Information meeting/training: July 21 @ 7pm - 9pm. Volunteers needed: July 23 @ 7am - Spm Spread the word and teU your friends about this exciting volunteer opportunity! There are many areas where you can contribute your time and effort to the success of this day and we greatly appreciate your involvement in this event. We look forward to working with you. See you in July!

Student Life 101 Co-ordinators ~


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The Carleton Ravens are what's missfrom l\larch Madness south of the border. I t's not that Carleton's placement in the fiddof64wouldradicallychange the outcome of the NCAA men's basketbaU tournament. In fact, a Carleton··North Carolina match· up wuuld be as as 18 holes between Tiger \1!70ods andArdaOcal. But while Canadian hoops are inherentlY'veaker than their southern counterpart (blame our nation's puck-C1'll£)' atdtude for that one), CIS basketball now has something the N CA A does not: the most dominant collegiate basketball team on the planet. Because the Carleton Ravens are the most dominating collegiate has·ketball team on the planet. The Ravens won their third con·· secutive national championship last weekend, extending their winning streak to 78 games and staking their claim on the ritle of best university basketball team in the \vorld. And in the process, the Ravens gayc hoops fans a glimpse of what they iJwt't see in this year's NCAA tournament-a monumental display of jaw-dropping dominance.

avens' nest

Tn NCA./\. hoops, any member of the sweet sixteen could win the cham· pionship come April 4, and that's one ofthe best reasons to love March .Madness. Year in, year out it's among my favourite events of the sporting calendar, right up there with the Suo per Bowl and tne annual elimination of the Toronto l\faple Leafs. Butwhile parity in U.S. college hoops solidifies an all out mad dash for the NCAA title every spring, there's something to be said about the :\\ve--inspiring supremac-y of a n.:cord-shatteringteam like the Ravens. Down south, the era of the longtem'] dominance is dead. N otth Carolina is talent-laden, until next year when freshman fonvard .Marvin \'7illiams declares fi)f early entry in the NBJ\ draft. Duke is consistently good but consistently not great; kind of a Diet Coke version of the New York Yankees. And national number one Illinois has had tbekindofCinderella season that almost bt.g.r for the slipper to faU off before next year. In the NCAA, today's top teuns are tomorrow's mediocrities, \vith little hope of any success continuing beyond a single season -- which, by the way, is about how long the star players stick around in U.S. college hoops. North of the forty-ninth parallel, however, university hoops teams are built on a four or five-year plan because the players actually stay in school for four or frve yeats (see, in Canada, collegiate sports stars are actually at-



tc'nciing school for an education But\vi[h the


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more or less the same bmnd of hoops, ne..-.,;-eI see another tca:rn like Carleton in tnt' OCA or CIS. Theil' rn.n.'"'''--''''''' shoot·the--lights-out sui! as it is effective. NCAA ba::ketbaH could bendit from a team like the Ravens, \\'hcte the guards are quick, the ball movement is crisp and re·· bounds are an afterthought ---·mostly because the Ravens make the shor the first time. AU things considered, it's a damn fine time to he a Raven, I lead coach Dave Srnart (lvlike's uncle) has built a university basketball team the way you are supposed to ---- with solid recruiting, top-notch teamwork and the ever-important combination of talent and dbow g1'easc. Nobody is looking f01' a springboard to the ptos at Carleton. Instead, ing for a fourth ~,.,,,,,,h, "'" tu,-,v, Now thatwouldm.ake the NCAA tourney Im!y mad.

Hockeyday in Waterloo

{} a.rn. -- 5 p.TI1. Recreation managf:r.



Free fitness classes

Campus Recreation wcbpage formore infonnarion on what is fot fn:e. Fitness and Rec swims axe still

available at the pool 'T'he fitness centre at the (] F and tb_c

L55 in'itn.lC-


A third-year student in computer engineering, Fung has found UW to be a school more supportive of the entrepreneurial spirit more than the p...


A third-year student in computer engineering, Fung has found UW to be a school more supportive of the entrepreneurial spirit more than the p...