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IMPRINT The UW Student

Newspaper

Student Life Ct.ntrc., Room 1116 Ur~iversity of Waterloo Water-h, Ontario N2L 3G1 s 1%88%4048

Election controversy by David

Imprint

Drewe staff

L

Cover

photo by Ikt~

Editorial

Fisher

Board

ast Friday the Federation of Students Board of Directors released their decision concerning two election appeals by VPAF-elect Mark Ferrier. While the Federation refused to release the candidates’ spending reports, sources inside the Federation confirmed that at stake was not just money, but Fcrrier’s disqualification. Federation candidatcs are allowed to spend up to $400 on their campaign, of which one half will be rcfundcd after the election, providing they garner at least 10% of the vote. This spending is monitored by the election’s Chief Returning Officer (CRO). If candidates are $50 or less over this limit, they forfeit their refund. Any more than $50 over the limit, and they are disqualified, Even though the accounting was not released, a perusal of

StafT

Board

by Pat Imprint

List

Chris Alsworth, Sandy Atwal, P&X Brown, Stuphanle Hunka, Koscmary Crick, Karin C’ronf~ie~rn, Melissa Dietrich, Sean Elder,Jason Gregoirc, John t&ey, Andrew Henderson, Shirley-Ann ilopkins, Marco Kocchli, Patti Lcnard. Angel ManoIson, Heidi Mar-r, Justin Mathews. Pal Morlihan, Kimbcrlcy Moser, Waytic Prior, S;Lr;th Reinhart, Edward Richards, Jmms Kusscll, Daphne Simpson, Aman Singh, Hrian Sweet, Bill Tschirhart, Patrick Wilkins, Vilko Zbogar, WPIRG ancl Thti Parking LOI Is Full. Imprint is the ofTicial student ncwspapc‘r ot’the University of-Waterloo. It is edilorially

indepcndenl

nuwspapcr

by Imprint f’ublications, Waterloo, 3 torpor-Aion withoul sh3rc capital. lmprint is it mcmbcr ui’ the Ontario C’ommunitl Newspaper Association (OCNA). Imprint is puhl ishcd cvcry Friday during fil rind winter Lcrnis, ;ind cvt’ry sc*~onrl Friday during the spr-ir~g Icrm. Imprtnt reserves the right to screen, edIt, and relirsc advertising. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. M:t11 should bcaddrcsscd tolmprint, Student Lili- C’cntrc, Room 1 I 16, University of Waterloo. Ontario, N2L 3G I_ Our e-mail address: cditor@~innprint.uwatcrloo.ca Our f‘ilx number is KW7KOO. An on-line vcrsjon of‘ Imprinl is also available on the http://’ World-Wide Wch HI

published

Merlihan staff

n the fiftieth anniversary of the first labour movcmerit in Canada, government civil servants, unionized tabour movements, and special interest groups flocked to Hamilton in an unprecedented protest that drew over 100, 000 people. Saturday, February 24, 1996 is a date that Canadians w-on? soon forget. It marked the protest of Canadian history. Among the 100,000 that came to collectively voice their concerns were members of teacher’s unions across Ontario, CUPE, CAW, CFS, OPSEU, United Steel Workersand numerous special interest groups that feel threatened by cuts proposed by the Harris government. The Ontario Conservatives were voted into government a mere ten months ago, and weren’t given a mandate to cut health care services, to cut education, or cut jobs --according to the massive crowd of protestors. Protestors came from all over Ontario by the bus- load in a concerted effort to save jobs and services. Over one thousand school buses were dispatched to Steeltown carrying a significant amount of teachers concerned about John Snobelen’s “tool kit” that, it is feared, will drastically change the face of education. Hamilton not only served as

0

an

on election day, and endorsed Ferrier and running mate Brad Miller. The CR0 felt that this was a violation ofetection policy section B.2.aa, which reads&ndidutcs shall be respurwihk j& the crctions of their curztpuig~

The Board revisited its decision to not release

its rationale violating the spending limit and forfeiting his refund. lfhe overspent $350, he would be disqualiGed. Fcrrier appcalcd two of the fines, one ofwhich was granted. This fine, of $30, was imposed after a student cncournged students in KIN 354 class to vote

~wt-liei’s lrncl candiduks ddi bt~ stricdy liablr.f~Jr cmnpuigrl violatiom, how~~e~~ occwr-ing. As campaigning on voting days is prohibited, Ferrier was held responsible. The rationale of the Board’s decision was at first un&rr. A1 first the Federation released a

statement detaiiing the decision, without providing any rationale for overturning the CR& decision. When asked for more cxplanation, Fed Vice President University Affairs Rose Rilicic exptained that while the decision was public., the discourse and reasons woutd not be made public. Other Board members referred Imprint to the Chair ofthe Board, Jane Pak. The Board subsequently revisited its decision to not release its rationale., and gave Imprint a copy of the minutes of the rclevant Board meeting. Fcrricr’s defence in the case of the granted appeal was r-hat hc did not know the person who spoke out on his behalf, and could not bc held accountable fbr a stranger’s actions. Current Victi President Operations and Finance Mike Suska at one point during the mcoting C’onGnued

to page 7

Steel Cite motest

of Directors

Contribution

election committee discipline decisions revealed that Ferrier violated policy several times, with about one quarter of his budget being lost to fines. In effect, this meant that Ferricr could only spend $300 without

the perfect host city for such a protest because of the massive Steel Workers Union, but more importantly, because ofthe 1000 Tory delegates barricaded in the

policies, and to make final decisions on their hardlinc position to cut social and govemmcnt services. The rally began close to noon photo by Pat Merlihan

The

Tories

hide

behind

their

Hamilton Clonvention C’cntre, and surrounded by large conCrete blocks and police in riot gear. The party was meetingwith Harris’ cabinet to discuss party

barricades

again.

at Bay Front Park on the Hamilton Harbour. The sea of protestors waved signs, shouted slogans, and adamantly denounced the actions of Harris and his govemment. Af‘ter brief statements to

protestors about I;ltx~~, erlu~ation and govtrmmt‘nt set-vic’es, the march to Cqpp’s Coliseum commenced. Native Hamilton band Junkhouse played Neil Y nung’s “Rockin’ in the Free World” as droves of sign waving protesters left the park down Strachan Road. The mart h route turned onto Main St. past where the Conservatives were meeting. pilthough the govcmment did make adequate preparations for a crowd that had the potential to turn nasty, none of the prc-cmptive measures the Conservatives took for their safety were necessary, as the march was peaceful and without report cd incidents. Hamihonians lined the streets to watch, and support the protcstors’ grievances. The rally finished off‘ in front of Copp’s Coliseum and t’rom about 1 pm to 3:X1 pm numerous spca kcrs addrcsscd the crowd to denounce Harris. Toronto’s Moxy Fruvous joined the stage at certain points to sing humorous songs about Harris, all of which the crowd responded to loudly. But it was the messages of union leaders and social activists that aroused emotions in all the participants. Many of the statements revolved around the Iinsecurity that Untario workers feel because ofgovernment cost cutting; that “cuts hurt kids”; tlhat the government Continued

to

pagt! 4


NEWS

4

IMPRINT,

Friday, March

1, 1996

~ ~ _ _ _

_ _ - -

_ _ _ ~

- - _ -

_ . ~ _ I

CASA by Patti Imprint

Tknard staff

forges

is rliN the only

cmt‘.

Students

lllust

hc able to cover the ClM of both tuition and living ~+enstts in order to attendunilrcrsity. and rhcy must by’ ;ible to do so without f’tt;~ of a sa~ningly insurllli,iltlt;lblr debt when their educ’ution is complete. At’tcr all, whrn making the decision to attend university, StUdL’IItS

new

ot’ this a\‘crage

debt. debr reduction cm be accomplished in a number of ways, such as the freezing of tuition fees, up-front grants, and debt r-emission programs. To put such practices in place, it is first important for the federal Average

IllUst

perceived calculation of an in-

policv

managed as ;1 sort of education system, instead of individual institutions providing educalion. In particular, universities in close proximity of each other must cooperate and co-ordinate their services, to ensure that none is being duplicated. Working toget her, the provincial and federa1 government should be able to provide

CASA has recognized the importance of university education in maximizing “the knowledge and creativity” of Canadian students

hility, 01~2 must e\aluate the av- ---erage size of tht: students’ debts upon leaving univarsity. If tuition rises while the a\lerage debt remain5 constant. it seems fair, according to CXSA, to claim that uniieersity accessibility has not been hindered. As a result, the focus of those trying to increase accessibility mud bc the reduction

government to realize that postsecondary education is a national problem and must, therefore, be dealt with partly at the federal level. The national government must ensure that accessibility is relatively uniform throughout the provinces. Provinces, meanwhile. must realize that universities must be

ildeyuale

stu-

dent aid to those students who require it. The two are already Co-operating, but CASA is suggesling that the federal government take more of a lead role in allocating student aid and creating national standards of accessibility. Several considerations when instituting a system of student aid must be made. First, the aid provided must adequately cover all of an average student’s expenses. Second, effofls must be made to prevent university drop-outs. Students who drop out of university

Closing steel Continued

INTUE NATION’I CAPITAL Courses in: arts,socialSciences, science and computerscience hjoy summerresidence rates !qeciaiizedsummerschoolsin: locatedon the Rideau(dnal twenty (rimindlJusticeandIocidl Policy, minutesfrom ParlidmentMl. (anadianStudiesand PoliticalEconom~-~. Onthe movethissummer hphe

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before they complete their cducation are simply a drain on rhc country’s scarce resources. A student aid program must be an income-contingent plan; that is, a student must be able to repay their debt as their post-university income allows. They must not be required to pay it back in a mortgage-style fashion. After all, there is no longer a guarantee that a university education will immediately result in a high-paying job. People will not enter university if they far, subsequent to their education, having to repay a IO;UI that their post-university income cannot afford. CASA defines a “tolerable level of debt” as“cquivalent to the average salary of all graduates two years after graduation, as measured by Statistics Camd~.” CASA has recognized the importance of university education in maximizing “the knowledge and creativity”ot‘Canadian students+ It is nova asking the federal govcrnment, to not only recognize this fact, but ;ils*o to act on it. The federal and provincial governments must work together to ensure the high quality of post-secondary education and to maximize its accessibility throughout the country.

down citv

page 3

should help people rather than hurt them; and that this “rainbow” coalition of labour must build momentum and start a legacy. One speaker acknowledged the fear of Harris that Ontarions f’ccl. It was ten year old Sarah Cu mmi rigs however, representing the Coalition of Children and Youth, that made the most impact. Cummings talked about the way hope for the future for youth and children would diminish because of the proposed costcutting measures that the Harris government is employing. Activists for the Lots of unhappy people. causes of women, race, poverty and the unemployed also promises to not touch women’s made statements to the crowd, disrights, education, or health care cussing their concerns about the all of which have already expcriunfair treatment of Lhe marginal enced the-x cuts. members of the population. The rally in Hamilton was only Harris’ policies were dethe beginning of what could be a nounccd by activists as racist, and series of rallies xross Ontario. against women, children and the North Bay is ;1 target city for the poor. Harris was repeatedly called next pro&t. That could take place a liar for failing to fulfil hiselection within the next month.


IMPRINT,

NEWS

Friday, March I, 1996

CFS will by Peter Imprint

Len-don staff

T

he Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) refuses to accept the fact that University of Waterloo students no longer want to be considered as one of its members. UW continues to appear on CFS letterhead in a list of its members. This despite a referendum held in February, 1993 in which 217 1 UW students voted against continued membership in CE;S. Only 793 students voted in favour of further representation by the national lobby group. Nearly 2 1% of eligible voters cast ballots in the referendum, about 5% more than the turnout in the recent Federation of‘ Students executive elec--” tions. Nonetheless, CFS does not recognize the result of the referendum. “it’s ridiculous, and it’s not democratic,” said an exasperated Jane Pak, oulgoing Feds president. Pak stated th;ht she h;ls made numerous attempts $0 contact CFS chair, Guy Charon, but she has received no response with regard to det-ederating UW or curtailing the endless mailings and faxes sent the Fed oi’ficc, which she rcl‘crq to a~ “a w ask of paper. ““It’sclcarwedon’t agree with their methods at all.” The Canadian Federation of

5 PROTECTYOUR INVESTMENT

not let go

Students is a national organization which concerns itself with student representation as well as a range of social justice issues. Among its more controversial viewpoints is the mantra, “Education is a right, not a privilege.” It was the group behind last year’s protest on Parliament Hill where then Human Resources Minister Lloyd Axworthy was pelted with eggs and macaroni. On February 7 of this year, the

UW% Federation of Students is a member in bad standing with the CFS. -“Pan-Canadian Day of Action,” organized by CFS, was marred by violence and vandalism at the Queen’s Park Legislature. In a conversation with Imprint, CFS National Treasurer, Cassandra Koenen reaffirmed their stand on the 1993 membership referendum. Koenen and CFS maintain that there were “some improprieties with the election,” and as a result, the national executive of CFS “does not feel that they can ratify the result. ” “There were some fairly serious allegations made.” Imprint obtained a copy of

Service For ALL ACURAS

Preferred

“Your car’s home away from home”

the referendum report issued by the Chief Returning Officer, Andreas Kurvits. The report, presented to students council in February 1993, outlines any action that was taken regarding violations of election regulations. Most of the violations concern the illegitimate use of posters or buttons. Both the Yes side and the No side have their share of these. The only glaring violation is the use of a CFS field worker in the campaign for the Yes side (Yes to remain a member of CFS). As it stands, UW’s Federa-

I

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JUST WORDS’” “putting your ideas into words”

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!?~~~“~~f~~$‘~~~~~~ because it refuses to pay the required membership fees. When asked what UW’s Feds could do to get closure on this issue, Koenen suggested that the UW Federation of Students hold another referendum with improved access to campus, information, and students. The cost to students of another referendum would be $12,000. At their upcoming national executive meeting, CFS plans to take another look at UW’s request to defederate. The result could be a final acceptance of the 1993 referendum result. If not, the stalemate could continue between the CFS which rcjects the last referendum and the Feds who cannot justify holding another one.

EDITING

l

David Finch, B.Ed., M.A., M.Phil. (English) 345 Bushview Crescent WATERLOO, Ont., N2V 2A6

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Strike by Peter Imprint

T

Lenardon staff

he Ontario l3nployees i< currently lahourdisputc with

Public Service Union (OPSEU) embroiled in ti the Mikt: Harris

advice

crossing a picket line. In many cases alternate arrangements for work can be arranged between the employer and the student. “The length and timing of the disruption will determine whether or not credit for the work term can

the decision of the employer it’ the employee elects not to report or is unable 10 report for work. “For those students employed directly by the company or under contract arrangement with the University of Waterloo it will be up t0

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IMPRINT’S RECYCLING UPDATE On off ReCampus (urnpus cycling Waste Waste Costs dents both academically, hec;nrse they lose out on a work term, and t‘inancialIy, because they are not working. Rruce I ,umsdcn, Directox ot Co-operative Education has developed a few guidelines to help students facing a labour disruption: “In any instance where a strike or Iabour disruption is anticipated, students should discuss the situation first with their employer then with their co-op Co-ordinator who i3 ahe cont;lut fi,r the employing firIll. ‘The student shoulcf also disCLJM with the employer wh:lt the u.qx~l.:Ilior!i: xc’ with resptxt trl

both academically jinancially.

“If it is clear that the student’s work term will be jeopardized by a prolonged strike and the student chooses to leave the job then the department of Co-operative Education & Career Services will make every effort to find the student another position. There is no guarantee, however of substitute employmerit. rknls

monitor the situation both at the individual student level and in genera1 with the industry or the employer.” Students are also advised to decide for themselves whether they will cross the picket line or not, but to avoid confrontation if they choose to do so. Students who strike will likely not be paid, so if one decides to work they should keep their manager in-formed, especially if they are unable to enter the building. For further information con tact the UW Co-ordinator or Pro-gram Administrator.

and

“Paymenl of wages for studuring ii lahour disruption is

Jan. 26/96

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Feb.Z&b

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Feb. 9/96 Feb. 16/96

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Distribution

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16% - Jan, 26 recycled - Feb. 2 recycled - Feb. !? tecyeled 25% - Feb. 16 recycled 22% 2%

6

$4.

of publication


NEWS

6

133 years by Daphne Simpson Peer Health Services special to Imprint

A

s we enter into the monfh of March, we would like to bring your at;ention that

this month recognizes Society.

the Red Cross

Many of us have been aff’ccted or been gi~ben service by a local branch 01’ the Red Cross Society at some time in our lives, however we probably weren’t aware of it. Maybe one associates the Red Cross Society with blood donation clinics and the red cross on a white background, however there is so much more involved. We at Peer Health Serv-

ices would like to infurln you about thr: RedCross Society since it really does deserve the recognition. The Canadian Red Cross Society is one of at least 150 societies that al 1 are a part -.- ,-11___01. the International Cummittee of the Red Cross(ICRC). Along with the Red Cross Societies are the Red ---Crescent Societies, whose flag depicts a red crescent on a white background; they represent Moslem countries. These societies carry out the deeds that have been established by the ICRC

IMPRINT,

of saving is, since it is the heart of all the organizations. ICRC was founded in 1863 after important political Swiss figures were inspired by the docu-

rnented experiences of a man named Henry Dunant. Henry Dunant was a Swiss businessman, who had been travelling through the Italian town, Solferino, in June of 1759. The

lives

that met him was a bloody mess of dead and injured people, due to the battle that was happening between Austria and the allied forces, France and ital y. The medicd services were very inadequate, and Mr. Dunant sight

Many of us have been affected by the Red Cross Society.

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give care to those wounded in wars, no matter what their military or civilian status, way. His idea was accepted and expanded upon by world leaders., and by 1863 in Geneva, Switzerland, an official committee was formed by representatives of I6 states;% was named the international Committee of the Red Cross(ICRC). There are seven fundamental principles by which the ICRC is guided: humanity, impartiality, neutrality, independence, votuntary service, unity, universality. The worldwide organization strives to offer protection, assistance, and health and welfare, To clarify, members of the organization wiI1 take a neutral position during armed conflicts ;tnd civil strife and offer equal protection to the wounded, sick, prisoners of war and civilians. For people who have lost their liberty and are being detained in prisons, for instance, they are granted visits by individuals sent out by the ICRC. Assistance is provided through Development Programmes in more of the third world countries. Right now, citizens of Uganda, Mozumbique, Kenya, and the Philippines are being educated on good nutrition, child health care, how to in)-prove their h:ygiene, and prevcntative measure’< towards AIDS. Primary Health Care (PHC I programs arc very active in im.provingthequality ofwaterin some of these poorer nations so that diarrhoeal di:,eases can he :~voidecL They do so by digging ~4s and building latrines and toilets. in Kenya, they have buitt 19 tanks that strxc up to 75,000 titre\ of clean water that is piped into homes. Through material and child health projects, women are being taught how to care for themselves as well as their children, while there is emphasis also put on the concept of spacing out the births ol children. For the health ancf welfare of a population is certainly improved if the people are knowledgable about such important facts. The better health of children has also been increased and maintained because our own Canadian Red Cross Society is working with partners in third world countries to immunize children against common, preventable diseases with vaccinations. Of course, the amount of immediate emergency care required has been lessened because of the preventative measures that have been put into practise, but should the emergencies arise, the communities are prepared. Red Cross international programs have suggested effective farming techniques

,w,;;,~-;;;z; ,

support from local communities, and committed himself to aid the injured, regardless of their nationality. Thereafter, Dunant promoted the idea of an “international web of national rclief societies” that all worked to

competitive

Friday, March 1, 1996

salaries,

in the case of droughts,

building

strategies that resist earthquakes, tree-growing projects to prevent dcforestation and erosion, and providing first aid training courses to prepare people in emergency situations. Continued

to page 7


UW

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TEACH

Election Continuttd

from

page 3

fuss

preting the spirit in which they wcrc meant. Jim Wi lsun stated that the policy states that candidates are responsible for any campaign violation, ‘*no matter how it occurs.” It could mean that we don’t agree with the policy. Suska later stated that the Feds, “have to be able to do what’> right, not what’s there [in the policies] .” Suskti made another motion, this time successful. Strangely.

A vital ties happens

however! out of the st’vtm members of the Board, only two voted in favour of the motion. Since Jane Pak seconded the motion, it is safe to assume rhat the other five members abstained. While Wilson and Mario Bellaharba were both candidates in the election, it is unclear why the other three members, Tara Barry, Tim Blair, and Rose Bilicic felt a need to abstain.

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in dei,eloping countries, however a lot of services are provided here in Canada ;1s well. Think ot’ the blood donor clinics; 450,000 units of blood collected in Ontario each year and it is donated free to patients. Instructional programs are established in communitics to teach water and boat safety, and first aid courses.

have in our world, so it is without wonder that we draw awareness to the ICRC organization at this time. Peer Health Services here at the University of Waterloo asks you to please remember jusl how much is meant by the red cross on the white background. If you are interested at all in king involved with the world’s largest international care-giving orto boanization, you are encouraged cnntxt tht3 loc:-ll Red Cross branch. hcrc in Kitohent:r-Waterloo. Red Cross Sclcit3ty, K-W Rrmch i86 King St. S., W;ttcrloo, Ont. NZJ lP9; phone 732-2785.

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IMPRINT,

NEWS

Friday, March 1, 1996

New Co-op by Karin Cronhielm special to Imprint xcellence in work-integrated career development.” The above statement is the vision of the Co-operative Education Department at the University of Waterloo. Recently the same committee that chose this vision statement, the Departmental Review Committee for Co-operative Education and Career Services, released il rt3por-t. This report dis.uusst~i changes Ihat the committee felt should he r-&e becr~~se ‘* the dcparrrnent rcquircs ;i slructurc which is responsi~, ;ldqtable and xc‘<~unfable.” 1Jndcr the new system cxh af the difl‘ertmt arcas of- the Co-op Department will come under one ot three service groups: Field Services. Systems & Administrative Services or Program Services. The Field Services Group is the tirea which Co-up Coordinators fail uncler. Currently, each of the six faculties split up the province into smaller areas and puts a coordinator in each area. This meant that in some cases, two or more coordinators could be going to the same company to look for jobs; one

E

system

coordinator to find Engineering jobs and another to find Arts jobs. Another problem that occurred was that some coordinators had to supervise as few as 25 students over a large geographical area and others could have as many as 200 students over a few blocks in downtown Toronto. This created an imbalance in coordinator workloads. Under the new system coordinators will work in teams around four main geographical areas: 1) the 4 16 area code, 2) the 905 area code and Northern Ontario, 3) the 5 19 area code, the West and Internationill, and 4) the 6 13 arca code and the East. Each team will have ~!1eaderforadministrativepu’~oses. and coordinators from each of the different faculties. The size of the team would be dependent on how many students and employers were located in the area. This will allow coordinators to share their different expertise. With the new system, an Engineering coordinator could go into the same company as above and look for both Arts and Engineering jobs because he or she is in direct contact with someone who has expertise in the Arts faculty. This system also eliminates the imbalance in coordinator work-

Calling all math grads Marco Koechli ‘96 Pink Tie Pledge special to Imprint

D

Chair

o you know dx~ut the ‘Pink Tie Pledge”? It is a traditiun in the Math Faculty

donalc rn~~nq to the Math Faculty to betIer its f’ucilitics. The Pink Tie Pledge h;ls helped to fund undergraduate computer labs and numerow ‘Descxtcs Scholars’. The Pink Tie Pledge was sl;u-tcd in 1990 by the gradu;I~ing class of thaw year. The intt3nt was to generate funds for the M;ith Faculty to buy new equipment to ensure that future students, such as ourselves,

by MEF are student directed. This means that any amount pledged to M EF will generate funds for years to come! For those who do not know what a pledge is, it is a promise to donate. For example: if 1 pledge $100, I will not be expected to donate immediately. If you pledge through the Pink Tie Pledge you are not expected to donate until May of 1997. This is great because in a year’s time we will all have paid off a good part of our student loans. Better yet, a donation to the Faculty is tax deduct-

collect

over

the 1996 Math

would

gain the best ccfucatirm possiblc. Since then. the Pink Tie Pteclge has been runevery year. Last year was the first year when money could be pledged directly to the Mathematics Endowment Fund (MEF). If you are not familiar with MEF, it is an interest bearing account where the actual donations are never spent. The pooled funds generate interest which is spent on projects to enhance the quality of education here in Math. More importantly, all projects undertaken

9

cards and more information can be found at the Math Grad Committee (MGC) office, MC3029 x6659 or in the MathSoc office MC3038 x2324. Try our new web site at http:// www.csclub.uwa-terloo.ca/ -mkoechli/ptp/ptp.html to pledge online ! For more information please feel free to contact me either by calling the Math Grad Committee (MGC) x6659 or by e-mailing me at mkoechli@undergrad.math.uwatdooxa. Let’s Go Class of ‘96!

loads as the team members share their workloads. The Field Services Group is also responsible for the marketing of the Co-op Department to employers, special projects, graduat-

in plame

plains each of these areas as the following. Systems Services is responsible for ail systems analysis, development, implementation and maintenance of the appropriate systerns in the CECS department.

“The department requires a structure which is responsive, adaptable and accountable. ” ing and alumni employment and employer services. It is the group which most directly deals with matching students to jobs. The Systems and Administrative Services Group consists of three distinct areas: System Services, Operations Services and Communication Services. The report ex-

Operations Services will be responsibie for data entry and record keeping and most administrative elements of the employment and interview process. Communications services is responsible for the communications strategies of the Coop and Career Services Department whether print, electronic, oral or

visual. Finally, tlhe Program Services Group wit1 focus on services to students and faculties. Faculty groups within the Program Services Group would communicate with both faculty and students in their areas to promote partnership. Faculty groups would work to insure that students received adequate career development training. They would also look into new possibilities for Co-op programs. The Program Services Group would also have support services including student employment education, training and developmcn~ f’or CECS staff’ and research. The overall goal oi this service group is a strong rela[ionship between academic and service departments. This is just a brief summtiry of the proposed changes to the structure of the Co-operative Education and Career Services Department, If you would like more information contact SACat sac@undergra~.math or attend our next meeting on Tuesday, March 4 at 530 pm in NH 1030.

onbti @European Adventurer @European Escapade 4ltimateEuropean (European Contrast


NEWS

10

Imprint

IMPRINT,

1, 1496

WPIRGr

News

Waterloo Public Interest Research Grou.p

Volunteer, and have your own agenda.

General

Endangered ONTARIO’S OLDGROWTH FORESTS COME TO UW

1996 General

Frida.y, March

Forestry issues may not be making headlines these days, but environmentalists are still working hard to preserve what remains of Canada’s old-growth stands. On Monday, March 4, 1996, the Wildlands League will be at the Student Life Centre with a slide show presentation about the Algoma Highlands - an area cited for clear cut logging this year. About 100 kilometrcs northeast of Sault Ste. Marie lies Algoma, 750 square kilometres of rugged cliffs, raging rivers and ancient forests. The province of Ontario is about to make a final decision on whether to log the area. The plan is to provide greater road access and construct various bridges and gravel pits throughout the highlands. Forcompanies including estry MacMillan-Bloedel want to harvest the rich forest resources, leaving only inadequate buffer zones around lakes and near roads. Wildlands League and other organizations have launched a campaign to save the white pine stands. some of which are over 350 years old, from destruction. Conservationists say Algoma is the largest remaining unlogged region in the Great Lakes forest zone, and that it should be protected under the government’s commitment to the Endangered Spaces Campaign. Protestors say the region provides crucial habitat for wildlife species including bald eagles, wolves, lynx, pine marten, threetoed wood- peckers, black bears and osprey. Sightings of the sastem cougar, an endangered species, have also been reported. The towering stands of oldgrowth maple, yellow birch, jack pine and white spruce inspired painters from the Group of Seven, and the area holds archeological significance for the Ojibway People, whose trails still wind through the woods. Alternate economic options for the highlands exist, among them

Annual Meeting

For the purpose of electing the Board of Directors, reporting on the activities of the previous financial year, and consideration of a resolution to index membership fees.

Student Life Centre

Monday - 11 March 1996 - 5 pm tight dinner served 500 pm (tickets $2 f. AGM business & elections commence 530 pm. To vote, you must be a paid member.

Nominations for the Board of Directors open 9 am February 26 and close 5 pm March 4. Pick up a nomination form at the WPIRG office (GSC 125). Call 888-4882 for more information.

Services

Complex,

Room

K&888-4882

forests and oil spills

Public outcry lies at the heart of any changes to government plans. Conservationists are making some progress with other issues, but they’ve not yet won the battle to protect forests. old-growth Temagami will soon be as pressing a concern as it was in 1989; it too is targeted for large-scale development this spring. Now is the time to add your voice to those of others concerned with the preservation of Canadian wilderness and wildlife. Come to the Multi-Purpose room, on March 4 at 12:30; experience the beauty of Algoma and sign pctitions and letters to show your support.

OIL SPILL INEVITABLE The oil spill from a tanker grounded off the coast of Wales is the latest example of the price 01 the world’s reliance on oil and an irresponsible oil industry. The Liberian-flagged, RusSian-crewed Sea Empress which

The grounded tanker built in 1993 - whiich shows that even with modem-day tankers, spills still happen. It is clear that the industry continues to regard environmental accidents as an acceptable price to pay for oil. As long as there is transportation and production of’ oil, there will be spills. At any one time, there tire 68 million tonnes of oil in ships on fhc oceans - about 7000 vessels arc daily engaged in the transportation of oil or its toxic byproducts. “This is just the latest in a long line of oil dit;asters. It also shows that the UK Government measures introduced after the Braer Disaster in 1993 to contain the hazards of oil transport+ are inadequate. The sooner we wean ourselves off the addiction to fossil fuels and switch to cleaner energy sources, the better the world’s environment will be.” The average worldwide figure of oil pouring into the oceans from routine dischlarges and deliberate washing out of tanks is about 2.5 million tonne\ each year, while tanker spills total about 150.000

“The big oil companies

hide behind foreignj7ugged and crewed vessels so as not to dirty their names when this type of spill OCCUYS.~’

why Not! We welcome visiting students

It’s all here for you!

McGill

Summer Studies

550 Sherbrooke Street West Suite 585 Wesl Towrr Montreal. Queher. H3A 1 B9 Phone 1514) 398-Vl? Fax 1514) 398-5224 E-mall Sumrner&550Sherh Larl M&III

Ca

the potential for remote eco-touri and infonWion

ADDRESS

CITY 3 McGill University , ksidences

POSTAL/ZIP

i

UNIVERSIT\/CPLl.~mGf

L

I-I-------IIII--IIII-L1LIIIIIIIL-

ism operations, which have already been successful in a number of areas. The idea of preserving Algoma for its own sake is crucial too; with increased development, a declining number of undisturbed natural zones remain for the enjoyment of future generations.

PROVINCE:STATE .- -.

CODE

PHONE

~~

--

'ml

grounded on rocks of the west coast of Wales February 15, pouring 6000 tonnes of North Sea medium to light crude oil into the sea was a single-hulled supertanker built in 1993. Just four months ago a Norwegian tanker, the Berge, grounded in the same place but spilled nothing, because it had the safety net of a double-shelled hull. Greenpeace has been calling for oil companies to operate the highest standards of ships and has worked through the International Maritime Organization (lM0) to call for at least double hulled ships. “The big oil companies hide behind foreign-flagged and crewed vessels so asnot to dirty their names when this type of spill occurs,” said Paul Horsman of Greenpeace International.

“They

arc also cutting

costs by not using the safest type of ships to minimize spills. This is what we have come to expect from this industry - corporate environmental image PR campaigns coupied with cost cutting on safety and standards .”

tonnes

a year.

Accidents in this area are likely to increase. as the‘ UK Government has now opcncd up new areas of exploration of’1 the west coast of Wales and the UK, in Cardigan Bay. The Sea Empress spill is significant because of its proximity to the coastline of an area of high conservation value, with seal colonies and rich in bird life and local fisheries

WPIRG BOARD NOMINATIONS Nominations for the WPIRCJ Board of Directors open 9 am February 26 and close 5 pm March 4. Pick up a nomination form at the WPIRG office.

WPIRG’s AGM WPIRGYs Annual General Meeting for the purpose of electing the Board of Directors, reporting on the a& ities of the previous fiscal year, and consideration of a resolution to index membership fees will

be held

in the Student

Life

Centre (above Brubakers), Monday, March 1 I, 1996, at 5 pm. A light dinner will be served at 500 pm (tickets $2). AGM business elections will commence at 5:30 pm. To vote, you must be a paid member.


lMPR1NT,Friday,

NEWS

March I,1996

Campus

Question.

11

m The 2nd Labour Day of Action was held in Humiltun this past weekend. Do you think Labour’s approach is the right one?

by David Drewe and Kieran Green (@ZUZOS)

“No.

I think

their

demands

are excessive.”

Puulu 4B Computer

Ferreira Science

“No. 1 think they’re inconveniencing a lot of people by what they’re doing.” Joan Minstreli Masters Cumputer Science

“Yes. They have to telt the gov’t what they’re thinking in a really public way.” Julie Ellisan 1st Year Environmental Resource Studies

‘&Whether they have to go to such extremes, I don’t think so.” Brim Balk will 4B Civil Engineering

‘“They

“I think they’re creating a dilemma for the people, that the gov’t must address.” Mw2o Wassa 2nd Year Honours Psychalo~

“They could be alienating lots of their support, so not necessarily.” Jane Whittingim ZB Engineering

“NO. With all the people out of work, they should find better ways of expression.” Duvid E. White 1st Year Evironmental Studies

should

be happy

to have a job.”

Tracy Bellehwneur 4B Civil Engineering

ComplementyourDegree with hireeducation,. , 1I11;1* 1I mm Cli3

CANADIAN INSTITUTE Of BUSINESS Yi!!Bb+’

.579-3170. 445King stow l-SOO-26~SKILL


,4s many of you will have noticed upon opening the cover of this week’s issue. we’re c:irrying a big splashy f‘ull-colour cigarette advertisernenl. Not the slickest or most artistic of designs, but big, bold and splashy alI the saltIe. The tobacco industry has always sought the hearts and minds of youth, their tactic being to lay bait for the young and then hooking them for life. One of the most insidious and loathesome industries around, I get cynical any time 1 sue their promotions. So wfiy

are we running

forum pqrs allow mcmher~ of the University of Waterloo communily to present their views on baariousissue\ lhrough letters to the editor and longer comment pieces. The opinmn\ cupr’“;sed in colurnn~, comment pieces, Ittt\ers and other articlesare strictly thosrof the authors, not oflmprint. Imprint is an editorially indcpendat newspaper publi\ht:d by Imprint Puhlx,divn~. Waterloo, ;t corporation wilhout share capital. Imprint. Student Life Ccntrc, Room 1 I 16, liniversity of Waterloo, Watc’rlc)c,. Ontario, NZL X.3 1. --The

their ads?

1 can give you a bunch of reasons, not the least of them being personul. For ~111my distaste of the industry I’ve seen the investigative reports on 611 Mij~ltl~js, I’ve seen how alienating the habit ctin be in social circles, and I’ve heard all the datu and evidence of the high body counts ~ I’m also an on-tend-oft‘ smoker. ThiL doesn’t justify anything, obviously, because ;1s most of us are well aware tobacco is a killer. I’ve been reminded 01. this many times in the past month. Firstly, 1 received a personal letter from the President of the Canadian C’anccr Sociely urging me not to run any ads. After Ihe Supreme Court of Canada overturned ZLban on tobacco advertising, the Cancer Society and other concerned lobby groups becrtmc immediately clairvoyant knowing that university neu3pnpers were going to he targeted by cigarcrte. manufacturers and marketers. There’s since beon ;t number ot

people. SO again,

why ;~rt’ WC running

of another controversv

the

The start

ad’.’

Mostly hcc;~se whether we like it or not. lobacuo is ;1 legally obtainable producf. You c;Ln buy it in almost any grocery store or pharmacy. Also, the Supreme Court allows cigareNe manuP;lclurers to advertise, so nothing is being violated here, except pebhaps for vtirying degrees of tiiste or ethics. That’s where my own concern lies, with the ethics involved. Personally. I don’t like the advertising, but I don’t feel good about censoring the tobacco industry’s right to advertise. We sometimes advertise beer and liquvr, and 1 see only a very vague eLlrt’y area as to where the difference 1ies. This isn’t the end of it, mind you. Imprint is well within it’s rights to refuse advertising if it so chooses. If any students feel strongly enough about the issue, let us know. The Board of Directors is here to make decisions on the paper’s behalf, and, ultimately. this is the stu&nts newspa per. Whatever your feelings, don’t be afraid to let us know.

***************** As a quick follow-up to last week’s column, our hockey team triumphed over Windsor and has advanced to the OUAA Final Four this weekend at the Waterloo Kec Centre. Congrats are in order, but hopefully it won’t be the end. If you do anything this weekend, do yourself a favour and support the Warriors in their home town.

juicy

d

F

irst at‘ all. thanks to everyone who has given me feedback on my articles to date. I’m always happy to receive it ~ positive or negative. I am particularly glad to see that someone has decided to put their thoughts in print. 1 am referring, of course, to James Russell. Words, in and of themselves, are useless; mcrcly a means to an end. If we render ourselves to analyzing words. we become little more than spell-checkers. Meaning and context are the essence of language. The velvet sky.. Afloat on a sea of love. On the road to hell. Castle in the sky. Metaphors. You cannot understand what they mean unless you look beyond the words. I welcome criticism, but not when it is shallow. I do tend to be flowery, or “melodramatic” in my writing; it helps bring the point across (to most people). It is my hope that readers do not merely read my words, but understand why I write what I do, Now on to the weary task of rebutting Mr. Russell’s commentary. Indeed, $5 billion of the $8 billion of provincial cuts will fund illusory tax cuts illusory because Hser fees will negate any tax cuts for the majority of the population rather than contribute to lowering the deficit. It’s a fact. Look it up in Hansard (recordings of legislative proceedings). You will find some juicy stuff towards the end of November, stated by your own beloved politicians (unfortunately I cannot recall exactly who and when). As for determining who will benefit from the tax cuts, it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that the rich gain the most, and the poor suffer the most. Is it fair that five people - the chairmen of the

big five banks - should altogether get a $500,000 tax break, when thousands of citizens can barely afford the necessities of life? This is equity!?! Perhaps I was not completely clear when I quoted: “Harris aide iillistair Campbell... explained in detail that the tax cut would not create jobs” in a previous article. I do not believe that this Harris aide was a dissenter, as Mr. Russell seems to imply. If my writing caused confusion, I apologize. To clarify, the 735,000 jobs that the Harris government claimed it would create were expected to occur through normal economic growth, according to the aide, and would occur regardless of who was Premier. The only difference with Harris in power is that these gains will be countered by an even greater amount of job losses. But Harris forgot to mention how many jobs he would eliminate. We have witnessed the widespread job losses during the Harris regime so far. But can anyone tell me where the new jobs are? Mr. Russell? Anyone? I am not opposed to reducing the deficit. No one is. However, there are ways to do it humanely and more effectively. That was going to be the topic of my article this week, but my plans changed. In any case, deficit control is not what this government is about anyway. As Torunto Star journalist Thomas Walkom writes, “Harris’ aides knew that the Tories had to address the deficit to meet the public mood, They also knew that the deficit bogeyman would justify save government cost-cutting, if not tax-cutting. But for Harris’ ideological cadre, the real point of the Common Sense Revolution was revolution - in

the best Margaret Thatcher sense” (i.e. deregulate, privatize, slash he;llth care, education, and social programs, and replace income taxes with user fees). I am afraid that Mr. Russell is guilty of the same sin that 1 am sometimes apt to commit - exaggeration - as well as one that I hope I am not guilty of-not taking the time to try to understand. I am referring specifically to his misunderstanding of “full cost accounting” and his discombobulation of the concept. All businesses incur regular costs of operation: salaries, supplies, marketing, etc., but one thing industries do not pity for is the cost of clea:ning up their pollution. The lucky public, you and I, have the privilege of picking up the tab. Full cost accounting would reduce these kinds of inequities. Full cost accounting means that business pays all of the costs of doing business, including environmental and social costs. in the case of the land development industry, there are some forms of development that are more efficient and environmentally benign than the typical sprawling suburb. But it is precisely these inefficient kinds of development that are most subsidized by government. Municipalities incur the ongoing costs for providing and maintaining services in these poorly planned neighborhoods. The real cost of sprawling development is thus artificially reduced. Full cost accounting would make these inefficient forms of development less viable, and would promote and reduce the cost of development that is sensitive to the environment, that is efficiently Continued

to page

18


Imprint uclcomes ICI~CXS to the editor from students and all members of the community. Letters should be 500 words or less, typed and double-spaced or in electronic form, and have the author’s name, signature, address and phone number for verification. tettcrs received via electronic mail must be verified with a signature. All material is subject to editing f’or brevity and clarity. The editor reserves the right to refuse to publish lcttcrs or articles u hich ;trc -judged to bc l~bc]lous or dlscrlminalory on the basis of gender, race, religion or sexual orientation. Opinions exprc\sed are those of the individuals and not of Imprint. -----._. -----

Try it... you’ll I like It’ I There have been many times while reading Imprint that I have felt the urge to spew forth masses of bile after perusing some of the letters written by disgruntled individuals. Finally, 1 had to give into my urges and write one myself in response to one by WCS Rcimer (vol. 18, no. 28) about masturbation. Reimcr goes on about the evils of touching oneself, and I utterly disagroc with him. First, 1 do not consider masturbation an “addiction” which can require “ever-increasingly erotic and possibly dangerous stimuli.“And 1wonderwhat exactly gave Reimer such an impression. Second, 1 agree that there can be a cross-over with masturbation and fantasy, but it is not something to condemn. Reimer links fantasizing with sexually deviant crimes like child molestation and rape. Fantasizing and masturbating are natural and enjoyable. (Come on, Rcimcr...try it, you’ll like it!) Third, I’ll wager that most people who masturbate don’t do it to feel “loved” more likely they do it to relieve tension through the pleasunngof’theirown bodies. After all, how can a being expect somcone to make love with them (and be good at it), unless they first learn to do it to themselves? But, everyone is entitled to an opinion and what Reimerdoesn’tdo won’t hurt him... I suppose. -CD.

Hackett

Heaven forbid!

It’s not going man Catholic,

to happen. As a RoI can’t understand why so many students with similar beliefs have felt the need to respond to “The Parking Lot is Full” and the comments of James Russell. Censoring them is the most idiotic suggestion I’ve heard; let them say what they want! Are we that insecure in our beliefs where we have to shout “Blasphemy!” in their faces? I’m not. Besides it’s not like us Christians have an impeccable record - The Reformation happened for a reason. My belief in God, though never perfect, is very personal. It implies a very simple philosophy, which is that we don’t have to love everyone; but if we lived on an earth where people at least chose not to wish any harm on anyone else (I know, I’m lecturing; I’m just as guilty), it’d be a lot more friendly. Belief in God requires faith, which is the belief in what isn’t waved in front of our faces. We can’t prove the existence of immortality in a tangible world. But much the same, atheists can ‘f prove God doesn’t exist. No matter how far the technological advances, it won’t happen. T~-LI.s~me’. James Russell is a guy with an opinion and “The Parking Lot is FuH” is only offensive to those who give it permission to be offensive. It’s not offensive-not particularily funny -- but not really offensive. It’s there to get a reaction and we fall for it every time. It takes sensitive issues and pokes fun at them for the purpose of response. Have you ever noticed why they don’t put this particular comic strip in any other section? Good, now we’re doing better. Insofar as humour is concerned, it kind ofbites...but hey, I respect the right to bite. And lastly, in response to Andrew’s letter lrnprint (I’m sure it wasn’t intentional) compared itselfto major dai ly newspapers like The Globe and A-fail. Um...bad idea. The Toronto Sun maybe, but not The Globe and Mail. Thanks for letting me gripe. ! love this section. -Arthur

1just finished reading your response to Andrew McKenna’s lettcr which cited Imprint as a biased newspaper and let me tell you .-you folks sure take criticism well! Rather than letting Andrew’s letter sit for a week before a response, you thought you’d respond before allowing anyone the chance to let out a little carbon dioxide. Heaven forbid (oh sorry, you don’t believe in Heaven) that the student population find a problem with your journalism. Did it make you feel better to get in the last word’? The section above the letters to the editor states that the “opinions expressed are those of the individuals and not of Imprint.” What were you doing in the Letters to the Editor section if you’re the editor? Writing to yourself? Since I’m here, I’d like to say that Imprint is a really stupid place to debate the existence of God. In a world where religious pluralism exists, I’d like to think that it’smore important for people to find unity in diversity rather than to attempt to change the convictions of another.

adage, “don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” Everybody makes fun of the quality of food offered, and even I quibble about the price every now and then, but Food Services is just that, a service. I mean really, it’s always a joy to get a bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich and an orange juice for $5.25. Let’s examine this sandwich: two slices of toast, a handful of lettuce, a glob of mayonnaise, a slice of tomato, and three strips of bacon. You might be shaking your head and saying, “Ian, they charged you $5.25 for that sandwich!” but you’d be forgetting the small carton oforange juice that went with it. If you still think that this is a touch on the costly side, I’d have to say you are dead wrong... it’s fucking cxpcnsive! For $5.25 that BLT should have been served with a cold draft beer and a complimentary lap dance, whether they were legal or not! Now that would be a way to increase revenue for Food Service. Village 2’s cafe could supply both male and female strippers on either side of the servery. The Green cafe could employ H-20 male strippers, while the red cafe could supply the same number of chicks. The student body (no pun intended) could profit from the increased employment opportunities, and at the same time food services could finally justify their prices. On Tuesdays after the cafe closed, the women could wrestle in leftover mashed potatoes, and whenever you wanted, five bucks would have some tramp with huge fake tits wiping off your table with

by

Pete

Nesbitt

her g-string. Best of all, Thursdays would be S&M night where we could all dress up and take turns whipping Mark Murdoch’s ass with limp spaghetti noodles. -1m

Rowe

Parent’s donations TO the Editor, l recently received a letter from the Student Alumni Association, sent to the Parents of Marc Ouellette, at my home address, where I live, with my wife of nearly three years, and where we have lived since we got married. Needless to say this is rather patronizing and parochial, as it is clearly listed on the student information forms as regards our permanent address, not to mention that we are married. My wife has never received any such letter. Perhaps she doesn’t count now - though I envy her omission. The letter asks, in the name of our esteemed past president, Doug Wright, that my parents - with whom I no longer live, etc, being my own man and such - kindly donate to the U of Waterloo, in the range of $170, since that is apparently the average donation. Question #l : Haven’t my parents donated enough by being residents of Ontario for all of their lives? They pay a huge amount in taxes, annu-

and

Pat

Spacek

ally .-as do an awful lot of people. But of course, the university and the government are cutting cxpendituresinordertoachievetheprot-nised 30% tax cut and zero deficit target. This means that regular taxes are being replaced with user fees and requests for donations and “Want to buy a chocolate bar so my school team/drama club/( fill in the group here) can put on its season/ play/etc., because funds are being cut, with little regard to the long term social cost of cuts to education. But what does Snobelen know ofeducation anyway, except to deny his degree from an American university? Why don’t we just cut the crap instead of paying lip service to cutting taxes and the deficit? Why don’t we call a tax a tax? A user fee, or a donation, is just as candy covered as the box of almonds that grade school kids are now forced to sell. IT’S A TAX! Perhaps the real lesson to be learned from the controversy with regard to the prostitute prof at Rye High is, that in Mike Harris’s Ontario, we all may need to peddle our asses in the street to make ends meet. Finally, if Doug Wright wants to impress anyone with the need to donate, why doesn’t he salt the snifter by donating the fat honorarium he gets from sitting on the Board of Directors of London Life? Certainly, he would not have such a sweet position if he had not been president ofour university. It would only be fitting that he give back something to the people (i.e. the client/consumer of the education system) who contributed so much to his salary, pension, and resume by attending this university. Rest assured that I would be impressed by a picture: in the Gazette or Imprint, or both, of Dr. Wright handing over a gargantuan cheque to the S.A.A. I’d even be happy if the S.L.C. were fmished before I graduate, but how can I, or my parents, donate to that cause if we are already giving so much to Dr. Wright et al?

Loik -Marc

(Editors ’ note: The yurpose of respot~se.s to reorders ’ letters is to nns~w~r qucstion.s about the puper, to cot-rect~J&~uul et-t-ors, rind to provide durificution when jticts presented bv LJ letter ure mislecrding. Mr. McKenna j: her required u response *fix all of these reasons. By the way, I did nut compare Imprint lu The Globe LUZ~ Muil, but instead contrusted it (“Unlike The Globe and Mail.. . “). As to your cumpnrison OJ’US with The Torunto Sun: Fur the record, thegrund total of editorial responses to readers letters, including this one, is six in fhe hsf 29pupers (or onej?lr every 4.8 pupers.))

More

TO the Editor,

please! Everyone food services,

in village bashes 1 am reminded of the

Ouellette

An awesome influence

bacon

To the Editor,

Alain

Jiminy Cricket had made the mistake of getting involved with the Mothia. Now he would pay.

I have a few comments and questions regarding Tim Boston’s letter (“Lynch is unaware”, Imprint, February 23) about my book review of Gregg Easterbrook’s A Moment on the Earth: The Coming Age of Evironmental Optimism: 1) I did not choose the headline “The Earth is OK!“; some Imprint editor (Mr. Krafchick, I suspect) came up vvith it, in a desperate attempt to attract attention to the review. Note that not all headlines are as literal as, say, “I Touch Myself.” 2) The thrust of my review was Continued

to page 14


FORUM

14 Continued

from

pq.~:” 13

that thy book presented a ficsh and generally well-supported point of‘ view, and that it should bo read for that reason. However, the careful rtxdtx wili note that 1 was not completely taken in by the book. as 1 said I had reservations about 1:asterbrook’s approach to “thinking like nature” and the extrernc views that Easter-brook attributed to what he calls “~nvironmenA doctrine,” namely by wondering “.. .if even extreme environrnentalists can hc so dogmatic and unrealistic.” (To bc sure, this was an underhanded COIIIpliment on my part to orlvironnlentalists, but a compliment nonetheless). Finally, I also the significance of said that “ ..he downplays [traditional environmentalists’] contributions”. 3) I don’t doubt Mr. Boston’s statements about the proliferation of formal anti-cnvironmcntalist groups --- extreme views arc alive and well in politics these days. 4) Has Mr. Boston read the book’? I would first read it bef‘ore 1bcgan accusing the author and, in this case, the rcvicwcr of the book of being anti-environmentalist. If Mr. Boston has not read it, then his is just the sort ofuninformedenvironmcntalist tantrum that, methinks. Easterbrook is oonccmcd about. 5) Mr. Boston hopes that “...Lynch’s article dots not represent a move on the part of’ Imprint to join this counter-movement against sustainability andenvironmental protection.” Well, Tim, I tried to exercise my usual IIIVC’SO~)JC~intlucnce over the ideas of the staffand the content of Imprint, but they just wouldn’t buy it, you know‘?

We need OPSEU I was both enraged and saddened by tht: opinion piece in the February 23 issue of Imprint entitled “Do we need OPSEU?“, by student Sandy Atwal. Where have the students gone who challenge the corporate elite? It seems to me that students who are so desperately worried about employment after graduation (a legitimate concern) are unable to see the big picture. I would like to make it clear to Mr. Atwal that it is not up to him to ask whether or not WE need OPSEU. THEY have rights under the Canadian Constitution to form and join unions; rights which public employees have exercised. One of the major reasons for joining a union is to protect against people like Atwal who would unilaterally fire people without just cause. Corporate Canada and their political allies have madu a concerted effort to convince people that privatization would be more efficient, and thus iessen the tax burden, perhaps even reduce the public debt. But when the bottom line is the only motivation, what happens to issues such as health and safety, employment equity, and universality of services? The results are widening the gap between rich and poor and the elimination of the middle class. As a mature student lvho has worked for both unionized and unorganized companies, I think 1 can shed some light on the situation,

IMPRINT,

Friday,

March I, 1996

Let us imagine for a moment that Mr. Atwal gets his wish, and OPSEU employees are replaced by university graduates. He claims that you would be willing to work for less money, and times being what they are, that rnay be true. But forget about ever being in a position to buy your own home, or being able to send your own kids to university, that is only for the rich now. OK, but at least you are among some of the “lucky” who have a job. Time goes by, now you have worked hard for five years, but you are only surviving. One day you report for work, and arc given the pink slip, because your boss has decided that his nephew should get the job. You have no recourse! Now you can join the thousands of other people who are on public assistance. When you don’t have representation, you have no voice in the workplace, you are at the mercy of your employer. Virtually all professions (teachers, nurses, doctors, lawyers, police) have associations to fight on their behalf. Why shouldn’t government employees or any other group have the same rights? We in the labour movement have fought long and hard on such social justice issues as

ending discrimination of all kinds, minimum wage laws. unemployment insurance, employment equity and the right to be rcpresented in the workplace. These are issues that students should be deeply concerned about, not trying to dismantle. Why do the corporate elite want Canadians to buy into the privatization schemes? So that the Conservative govemmcnt can sell off such revenue making businesses like the LCBO to their corporate buddies. So that we don’t notice that each of the big banks made over a billion dollars last year, while steadily downsizing staff. So that we don’t notice that corporations have decreased the amount of taxes they pay (if indeed they ever pay any) while the tax burden on the middle class has increased dramatically. I urge all co-op students to participate in OPSEU’s strike. Findout what the real working life today is all aboul.. At the very least, honour their picket lines. Some day it could be you out there, fighting for your survival.

Ontario is certainly getting its fill of unions lately, and there are many who would say that this is a good thing. The unions are, after all, standing up for everyone’s rights, aren’t they? That is what the unions would have you believe. but it just doesn’t hold up to scrutiny. The unions are looking out for themselves’ and themselves alone. They don’t give a shit about anyone else, not the nonorganized worker, not the public, and certainly not the fiscal position of this province. They know that they cannot hope to keep all of their jobs, but they plan on sucking as much as possible out of the province before they go. Before I chew on OPSEU, let’s look briefly at the general strike that occurred in Hamilton last Friday and Saturday. The strikers march around, get media attention, etc. etc. Fine. But what else did they do? They screwed the 60,000 people who rely on Hamilton public transit every day. Some of these might have been people who cannot afford a car or missing a day of work. They vandalised the locks at one mail depot and assaulted workers entering two others. Tom Dalby, a spokesperson for Canada Post said that the pickets were “particularly threatening and confrontational.” As a result of the strike, mail was delivered on just 25 of 350 routes in Hamilton-Wentworth. But, OPSEU has nothing to do with Canada Post! The mail is a FEDERAL service. They have no reason to interfere with Canada Post employees or to expect them to join their strike. Unfortunately, these strikes are planned to continue, and North Bay is supposed to be the next target. What will they achieve, other than complicating the lives of innocent people? Nothing. Anyway, on to OPSEU, those strikers who want “reasonable treatment” while setting out to “inflict pain” on the province. Let’s look at what constitutes “reasonable” according to OPSEU. 1. Reasonable: 50 weeks of severance pay for employees with 5 years service, and 60 weeks severance pay plus another week for every year of service for those with more than five years service. For some bizarre reason, The Globe and Mail considers this reasonable based on the fact [hat both the federal government and Ontario Hydro have in the past offered employees up to 90 weeks of pay. So, if 2 morons jumped off a bridge, would you? Both of these organizations have shown incredible bad financial sense in the

past, and this isjust onemoreexample ofthat. l think something along the lines ofwhat the private sector offers would be reasonable. One person I talked to., who works f&- a multinational printing cIorporation told me that he gets I week of severance pay forcvery year of employment up to a maximum of 9 weeks! This makes a litl.Ic more sense than paying someone who has worked for 5 years an entire year’s wages when you Ict them go. 2. Reasonable: not letting the employer contract out any work, or, if they do, forcing the company that gets the contract to have the work done by union members at union rates. First of all, there is no difference between these two stipulations, and depending on which papers you read, OPSEU wants both. Secondly, this is simply a bad idea. The government having the option of contracting out does two things. Primarily, it provides incentive for government workers to do their jobs efficiently and to the best of their abilities, because if they slack. off or screw up, the government does have a. way of getting the job done correctly and quickly; have it done by the private sector! Secondly, it gives the government a chance to save some money by finding a private firm that can do the work at a fraction of the cost that OPSEU would demand be paid to its workers. 3. Reasonable: to publish the names and photos of people who cross picket lines in an attempt to coerce solidarity. Though this has not happened yet (to my knowledge), the Turon~cl Sun published excerpts from a union memo dated last Tuesday (the 27th) that read: “The union has decided to publish names and photos of people who cross the picket lines....they might even put your photo on a picket sign with the slogan ‘Union Buster’ or ‘Scab. “’ Sounds pretty reasonable to me. Attempt to slander and humiliate any union members who do not agree with the decision to strike (the vote to strike was only 66% in favour). Is it not possible that someone is crossing the lines because they are broke! Strikerson1yget$1O0aweekfiomthcOPSEU strike fund. By the way, all union members who are still working, including essential service workers, are forced to give up 30% of their pay to the union strike fund. Anyway, to get to the point, screw OPSEIJ. Their demancls are unreasonable, and their motives are purely selfish, despite what their rhetoric to the contrary.

-4

C. Ra wski Coutinued

to page 15


Continued

from

page 14

No definite verdict To the Editor, As I suspected, my experiment did not work. A few weeks ago, I replied to a letter written by Mr. Wiseman in which he purported to have AI the answers: answers which prove the existence of God. My reply was to be respectable, trying to probe the other sides of the issue of’ which Wiseman did not touch on. I answered all of his points as best as I could. I even conceded that there could be some God, implying that my arguments did not disprove God. But, I am not a philosopher. I am a 19 year old, first year computer science student. With the little knowledge I knew from philosophy, biology,econotnics, evolutionary science and computer science, I tried to show that, contrary to what Wiseman would have you believe, there is no definite verdict. 1 admit, I did digress near the end, but it was for humour’s sake, to break the dryness of the rest of the article. I’m sorry if I offended anybody with it. However, I’m not sorry for what fol1ows: I read Wiseman’s reply with utter astonishment. Not only did he take a condescending attitude towards what I wrote but dismissed everything out of hand because he cannot “believe” in certain ideas. Furthermore, he calls some of my arguments “lousy,” and that 1 shouldn’t commit to what is wrong. Well, SORRY. With hlsown words, science is about asking, and if what I ask is wrong, then I should learn by the corrections to my mistake. I came to university to help me think critically, to open my mind. Obviously, Wiseman doesn’t have this same agenda. I do defend my be-

liefs, but I admit they are not without faults. I continually analyze my beliefs, adapting them to everything I learn. I try to start from the ground up, learning from basics and building on foundations as best I can. It is obvious that Wiseman rather take the top-down approach, stating belief as fact and then trying to piece the world together under it. In this way, he can live in his little church, where the sun revolves around a 17at earth. If Wiseman even contained an ounce of critical thinking which he claims to use, then why doesn’t he re-direct that critical thinking to his own beliefs. If his beliefs stand the siege, all the more to him. If not, I suggest he actually open his mind, open the doors to his littIe church and gaze out to the real world of greys, of uncertainty, of ambiguity. If you can only justify your beliefs by saying that everything else is preposterous, then you never will see beyond your own world. If you can only defend your beliefs by referring back to that same belief, then you might as well grow a tail and chase it for the rest of your life. But, maybe my life really has been so “sheltered” that I don’t really know what I’m talking about. However, I know that I don’t have the sophistication to intellectually wrestle this Prof. Narveson, but I’m sure he can be a little more forthcoming ( I would hope). Maybe I’m being too harsh, guilty of the same attacks I blame on Wiseman, but I’m sick of the typical religious rigmarole that gets spewed. If you can establish a foundation for God without referring to holy texts, I’d listen. If you can defend the integrity of your holy texts, then I’d listen. Moreover, if you call answer my questions without ignoring them, I’d really listen. Otherwise... -Wayne Prior 1st Year Computer

3

brains gone?

B

Lorena Bobbet’s kitchen knife. Obviously, not all males are this sexually repressed, and some actually respect the female population. To you I say, “want my number?” The issue has been dealt with significantly since the 1950’s but there’s still a long way to go. Women arc now being recognized as “equal” citizens by the law, but in the mind of many young (and old) men, we are still better off barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. Father’s beware! If you raise your sons with this kind of attitude, my daughters will eat them alive! Now, some of you penis impaired neanderthal males may say that I’m being a bitch for speaking my mind, but if you were to speak your mind I wouldn’t sit there and call you an ass. I might, however, refer you to the 2 1st Century, where you’ll see women getting the respect they deserve.

-Sarah

Reinhart

eat

the

rich

In the first three months of their fiscal year the major banks are reporting whopping profits. Some banks are up thirty percent in profit in comparison to the previous year, which incidcntly was a record profit year as well. 1 find it completely disgusting that banks can claim these obscene amounts of profit when Canada has a crippling debt and where some people’s incomes are non-existent to near poverty, without much of a silver-lining to look forward to. I don’t have to explain why this should bother you. Especially if you’ve got a student loan, and a bank breathing down your neck for the monthly minimum payments. But even if you don’t have the financial pressures right now, ask yourself if the bank was justified to dramatically increase their service

charges on basically any and all banking that you do. You can say you have a choice not to use the banks, but give your head a shake if you actually believe that can be accomplished and keep those sickly dreams of owning a house with the white picket fence, the station wagon and the dog. The banks, by there nature, are fulfilling the capitalist dream. But in desperate times whencanada .. . well... at least Ontario is crying bankrupt, there is no justification for the banks literally ignoring the massive deficit, that the ordinary average joes are having to make the sacrifices for. Of course the libertarians that froth about their individual rights, anti-socialist verbatim, and the almighty dollar driven society would shout me down in my complete ignorance of how banks provide a service and you pay for it blah blah

blah. I laugh when I hear some of that crap because it is some of these same people that love to rant about their sacred virtues but wouldn’t so much as flinch about taking an unemployment cheque. There are lots of people like this, and they could perfectly rationalize why, even as a libertarian, they could accept these “social” payments. Regardless of what you believe, the amount of dough being bankrolled by these major fmancial institutions would significantly wipe out the debt. And 1 don’t believe just banks should be targeted. I’m talking about all of the corporations that have more than taken their share of the wealth from the Canadian people. It’s getting close to payt)ack time, and maybe these rich falks may have to wait another year to trade in the Volvo, but hey, everyone’s got to suffer... right?

S I 0 Nr

COMPUTER

SkSTEMS

Science

Where oh where, have their LITTLE eing a women in this society has become quite a picnic. Men seem to f’eel that we deserve to be referred to as “chicks,” “babes” and “hottics” and other such demeaning remarks; we on the other hand deserve and demand tht: same titles and acknowledgements as the male species. This is only the tip of the iceberg. 1 am by no means a feminist or a “fern-nazi” as once referred to. In fact, a lot of views that are disseminated by feminist groups, such as the Womyrz’s Rag contained within this week’s Imprint, I happen to disagree with (like the very usage of the word “womyn”). I do feel, however, that there is a great need for enlightenment to those (males) who seem to have lived in a hole for quite some time. I don’t know about all women, but I know that most don’t find it appealing to be referredtoas “tighties” and are, in most cases, repulsed by it. I know that whenever I am referred to as such, I feel the need to introduce Mr. Oversized Ego to

15

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Friday, March 1, 1946

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16

Surely there’s gut to be more than just the same handful of voices on campus, you %e thinking. Of cuurse there is.., YOURS. Imprint wants tu hear what you have to say. Think Mike Harris is a great golfer? Cunvinced that cats are better than dogs? Sick of all the religioPt ? Is gravity highly over-rated?

The Forum section is your vehicle... Imprint, Student Life Centre Room 1116 editor@mprin t. u Waterloo. ca

CFS

IMPRINT,

Friday, March 1, 1996

StiN Zmc.ks!

It’s a sad statement on a once-powerful organization representing students that they now seem to be resorting to fraud in order to get their point across. I am, of course, talking about the Canadian Federation of Students, or CFS. Never an organization ofthe most pragmatic schools ofthought, it until recently was able to claim the moral high ground. CFS is on the gencrous side for all issues. Zero-tuition is one of their mainstays, along with a guaranteed minimum income for students, unlimited access to all programs regardless of academic or financial qua1 ifications, and the elimination of differential fees for international students. CFS doesn’t stop there, however. They have positions on everything from Pepsi’s involvement in Burma to unemployment insurance, day care and corporate taxes. Waterloo students withdrew from CFS a

time CFS provides anyone with a rationale as to why students should pay nothing to go to university, but should in fact getpaid to go, or why international students should get paid the same amount to go to school, or why students who can’t graduate from high school should be admitted to university, our name is associated with it. Given that almost three out of fbur of our students rejected this philosophy, it’s almost grounds for a def’amation of character lawsuit. (F3y the way, CFS doesn’t just ask for any one of the above, they usually ask for all of them. Picture it; a high school drop-out from Antarctica getting paid to go to university in Canada.) Don’t think that our name still being on the list is an act of negligence, either. On at least two occasions members of CFS have put forward motions to have UW expelled

Picture it: a high school drop-out from Antarctica getting paid to go to university in Canada.

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few years ago by referendum, legal according to Waterloo’s and CFS’s by-laws, as well as the Ontario Corporations Act. It wasn’t until the campaigning actually began that a few serious irregularities regarding the organization came out. Upon examining the CFS budget, they found that 25,000 students from the Waterloo Federation of Students were budgeted to pay CFS fees. Only problem was: there were only about I 5,000 undergraduates at U W. When challenged on this point, the thenChair ofCFS Kelly Lamrock noted that parttime students must have been included in that number. Only problem was: part-time students don’t pay CFS fees. Other problems emerged, which culminated in the involvement of UW Police informing certain individuals from CFS that they were no longer welcome on campus. It wasn’t until after the campaign though, that the real troubles began. The next May CFS national office wrote a letter to the incoming Federation President, claiming that the referendum was illegal (no justification was provided), and including a bill for the upcoming year’s fees. The Feds consulted their lawyer, determined that the referendum was, in fact, legal, and declined to pay. This turned into a bit of a tradition, with CFS penning letters to incoming executives each year, and incoming executives ignoring them each year. In the meantime -and check this week’s issue for more details - CFS has continued using our name on their letterhead, and has continued to do their budget planning on the assumption that we’ll somehow miraculously have a big collective crack-smoking session, and start paying fees to them. So who’s being hurt, you may be asking; who’s being defrauded? Well, for starters, our reputation is. Every time CFS organizes another one of their wing-nut protests, and Lloyd Axworthy gets pelted with eggs, or the Ontario legislature gets smothered in a rain of Kraft Dinner, our name is on the Press Release advertisine the event with pride. Every

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from the organization, for non-payment of fees since the referendum. Each time, it has been defeated. The problem is that CFS weds the nrtmhers. They keep claiming to be the largest student organization in Canada, and they need that credibility with the govcmment. Let’s also keep in mind l.hat 25,000 students at UW not only represcmts voters with the government, it also represents cash with the bank. When Waterloo wirhdrew from CFS it was running a deficit of several hundred thousand dollars. At that time, its credit line was in serious jeopardy. Losing the annual fees from 25,000 students (even though there’s only 15,000 of us) could only put their cash flow in more serious jeopardy. But then, that attitude’s the whole reason why we left CFS. Their internal management culture seems to be “don’t worry, keep spending, the money doesn’t matter.” When they look at themselves that way, you can really see where their policies come from, They don’t recognize Canada’s economic climate any more than they recognize their own fiscal crisis. Footnote I: CASA’s new policies are available on the web. Check them for grammar and spelling; it seems that CASA needs a proofreader. Footnote 2: Some people have approached me regarding last week’s campus question. They felt that Co-op students should honour OPSEU’s picket lines, because when we get jobs we’ll likely be members of unions. Sorry, that doesn’t wash. First of all, I wouldn’t screw myself out of a month’s (or even a day’s) pay just because I may or may not later be in a strike situation. Second of all, it’ s all these overpaid hacks artificially inflating their wages, protecting deadwood with seniority that prevents students from getting jobs. Honour a union asking for what OlPSEU is? Fuck that. Finally, Co-op students, keep in mind that we’ll be paying for whatever concessions the government gives OPSEU for much longer than most of their workers will live.


IMPRINT,

FORUM

Friday, March 1, 1996

Environment thebackburner niversities, in my opinion, should be places where a person comes to be exposed to different, and even extreme, ideas. Tired of my percuivcd lack of such exposure, I decided to attend a conference last Saturday to see just what our local environmentalists were up to. The conference, sponsored by the Green LeafCommittee of the City of Waterloo, offered a number of interesting environmental workshops including one by WPIRG (they neglected to show up, though). It also provided an opportunity for local environmental groups to network. Fiowever, the highlight of the conference was the keynote speaker, Elizabeth May. Among her many accomplishments, May is the recipient of several environmental awards, executive dirccfor of the Sierra Club of Canada and recent appointee to the board of the National Round Table for the Environment and Economy. May’s talk begun with the observation that envii-ont17entaIistn follows a cycle, with the current cycle in a down-swing. Political will on environtncrital issues is extrctnely weak, and Ihe mainstream media seemingly ignore the tznvirontnental aspects of the storics they fbllow To clarify, May explained the disaster that has befallen the North Atlantic cod stocks off Newfoundland. Most stories in the news cover this event as a question of unemployment and how it has affected the Atlantic fisheries. Completely forgotten is the role of the Federal Department of Fisheries, whose history of inept management has caused this bleak situation. Completely overlooked is the devastation to other aquatic species by the fishing methods developed by the Department. Huge nets, capable of engulfing a few Boeing 747’s, drag along the ocean’s seabed, catching everything indiscriminately. Anything not meant to be caught is lifelessly thrown overboard. With this lack of media coverage and political will, to be touched on shortly, May revealed an interesting internal government poll. The poll shows that among our “elite,” such as big business and senior government officials, environmental issues place a distant 10 of 20 possible concerns. Oddly enough, the poll shows that among the general public the environment places at the second position. With this expansive gap between the controllers and the controlled, environmental policy has been allowed to come under increasing attack. In the current deficit reduction frenzy, environmental groups and even renowned research groups are being fatally trippled by huge budget cuts. Non-environmentally ‘friendly’ budget considerations, .I

U

such as subsidies of $180 million to the nuclear industry and over $1 billion to fossil fuel related industries, are left unscathed. It is obvious that the government does not consider the environment a priority since the meagre savings extracted from environmental funding does not even come close to paralleling such figures. May also describes failed bills in the US, such as the de-listing of national parks and a relaxation of the Montreal Protocol, banning the use of CFC’s. She also explains parts of the current Omnibus bill from our Harris government which allows logging without permits and allowsmunicipalities to dissolve conservation authorities. For all the indifference, and even antagonism, from our current governments, May asserts that government is the only tool able to instigate effective change on environmental issues. She notes that government is n@ totally oblivious to the environment, pointing to unkept promises in the Federal Liberal’s Red Book, and that the previously mentioned American bills to de-list national parks did not get ratified. May explains that the key problem is that we are losing our democratic powers in the face of ever powerful economic influences. She explains the reason political prom-

on

a

cMl vimi99

a

GUVS sums

a@

0

f l&on. Economics and environmentally insensitive accounting practices are one of the biggest obstacles to change. She states that we currently have answers to many environmental problems and know exactly what effects the environmental. May says there are efficient products such as a 100 mile per gallon car and others (an earlier speaker explained that the lights of the conference building, when all on, consumed less power then a standard hair dryer). The reason why these products are not available is based on econotnics. She says that the auto-industry put effort into making that fuel efficient car, but that the oil companies intervene. With our government, it’s policies are limited by other economics, like bond rating services. These agencies rate the risk factor of government and corporate debt: unfavourable ratings result in additional interest charges. Consequently, our government must adhere to fiscal policies that these rating agencies consider sound or face billions of dollars in these extra interest charges. Since deficit reduction is a ‘good’ thing, governments slash expenditures where they can. resulting, among other things, in environmental cuts (remember, the environment is not a priority). Similar problems occur in the Third World from what May terms “structural ad-

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ises are left unfulfilled is that the elected politician, once in office, faces the realization that these promises are incompatible with other powerful influences. As an example of this influence, May blames the disappointing results from the 1992 Earth Summit in Rio (which she attended) partially on the American pharmaceutical industry. Biodiversity agreements proposed at the summit would have given nations rights to their indigenous plant and animal life from which the pharmaceutical industry uses to develop new drugs. Had the agreement been ratified, it would have meant that drug companies would have had to pay a form of royalty to the nations for drugs derived from indigenous species. The American pharmaceutical lobby, May claims, kept former President George Bush from signing the agreement. This begins to tie in with May’s observation that environmentalists need to learn more about economics and accounting, a rather uncharacteristically pragmatic statement from a movement whose most visible members are more worried about media stunts than issue reso-

-Wayne

Prior

Ontar:io

X3-I

528

(519) 570-0090

c

Fur all the antagonism and Their huge indifference, government is the justment-” foreign debts, financed by foreign loans, force only tool able tu instigate them into the influence of the global-money effective change on lenders. With an enortwo evenings of live entertainment envirunmerttul issues... mous amount of econow in its 24th year at St. nomic pressure on them, they cannot ati ford to be environmentally friendly, and can only pursue a short-term profiteering policy, ultimately destroying their ecosystems. For all the environmental doom and gloom, May remains optimistic. She refers to an analogy of a patient who has just gone to the doctor: the diagnosis is bad but with the required medication disaster can be diverted. Nature has a peculiar resiliency, and it is not too late to change our ways. She urges people to write their MPPs, their Premier or Prime Minister. While working as a senior policy advisor to the environmental minister Tom McMillian under the former federal Conservative government, she was relieved to see that writing letters did indeed make a difference. May claims that for every letter received, the politicians assume that there are a thousand others with the same opinion. After all, the lobbying power of industry may be far reaching, but it is not their dollars that put our elected officials in office, it is the vote of the electorate who does.

17

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FORUM

18

Yet another juicy controversv from

page 12

planned, and that creates viable, livable, and healthy communities, This simply makes economic sense. Development is not a bad thing -- only certain kinds of development are. Regarding Mr. Russell’s comments on an article I quoted from Cunadian Fmwn magnzine a couple of weeks ago, I would suggest that the publisher would probably be happy to receive mail directly. I wilt only comment briefly on the quote regarding wealth being inherited. Like Mr. Russell, “I know a few wealthy people who work pretty damn hard.” 1 also know a few poor people “who work pretty damn hard.” So what? Provl: that hard work = wealth. Hypothetically, Let us take two equnlly hut-d hawking individuals __ one brought up poor in Regent Park and the other one comfortably in Rosedale. All other things being equal, who is more likely to be better off.? The point is that not only money is inherited, but so is the demon “social class.” You can cat 1me a Marxist if you like, but that will not help you to understand me or the issues I discuss any better. You can dismiss my viewpoints because you disagree with them if that makes life simpler for you. You can try to discredit me because I am not an

economist, if you think that gives you a reason to close your mind (ironically, I am closer to being an economist than a Marxist), The easiest thing of all would be to turn a blind eye to what is happening to your fellow human beings. We university students are fortunate enough to be shielded from the real world. It allows us to live our lives in mindless peace and comfort if we wish. Out of sight, out of mind. It is easier to deal with what we want to believe than what is, the truth. Mr. Russell wants intelligent solutions. I’ll suggest one of his own - genetic engineering. I am glad to see that Mr. Russell wants his children to be the best they can be - it means they won’t resemble him at all! (Just kidding. Sort of.) Seriously, though, I wi11 be glad to respond to Mr. Russell’s challenge by providing some intelligent solutions in an upcoming issue. So much to say, so little time... It would be my pleasure to discuss these and other issues with Mr. Russell, or anyone else who might be interested, over a cold one (and I’m not referring to the morguej. Drop me a line at vjzbogar@fes.uwaterloo.ca. Maybe we can stir up another controversy - maybe something worth arguing about this time!

Federation of Students University of Waterloo

Notice of General Meeting NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN OF THE GENERAL MEETING of the Federation of StudentsJJniversityof Waterloo, a corporation under the laws of the Province of Ontario, to be held:

Tuesday, March 26, 1996 at 7:30 p.m. Student life Centre The agenda for this meeting will include: 1. Appointment of Board of Directors 2. Officers Report 1995-1996 Any other item for the agenda of this meeting must be in the hands of the President of the Federation of Students by 4:30 p.m., March 8, 1996 to be considered at the General Meeting.

Jane Pak President Federation of Students

Friday, March 1, 1996 ---

Enough of the new right

d

Continued

IMPRINT,

dogma ne of the major tools that the new right uses to bludgeon any opposing views is classical economics. A lot is made of the market and Adam Smith’s invisible hand. It is a value neutral mechanism for allocating goods. Production is a good in and of itself and our Gross Domestic Product (GDP) is the reflection of how well our economy is doing. One peculiar feature of GDP, and economics in general is that it doesn’t distinguish between various types of production. One example, often used by biologist David Suzuki is that the Exxon Valdez oil spill added to the GDP. Vast amounts of resources, both natural and man-made, were destroyed, yet the GDP showed a net gain. Exxon paid its workers to extract the oil originally, the tanker crew was paid, and after the spill, clean-up crews had to travel to the sight, buy garbage bags and other materials they needed. The indicator counted a11 of these things as positive. We are better off! ‘? What’s more is that this is hardly a value neutral indicator. More is better - that’s it. The same sort of amoral reasoning also applies to clearcurting a forest. In the market, a tree is valuable only insofar as it can be made into paper or cut into boards. The thousands of litres of oxygen that it filters every day and the habitat it provides for wildlife are not counted. lf property rights, which are so sacred to libertarians, are to be enforced will lumber companies start scnd-

0

alism from the community that they deny the benefits that all people receive from collective programs like universal health care or education. A lot of these neo-conservatives are flat out against... well enough ranting. The contradictions are easy enough to tind nowadays. The main point is that libertarians act like they have all of the answers and right is on their side. (Another parallel to feudalism, like divine right of kings.) All other viewpoints are ignored by the popular press or ridiculed for their lack of economic rigour. Their religion, economics, has as one of its fundamental axioms that consumption and leisure are the only two goods which provide utility for human beings. One has visions of a person lying around all day hooked up to a happy utility machine. Admittedly that isn’t a very generous analogy, but starting a social science from principles like that can and has led to some dubious conclusions. And like a religion, members of the new right ignore empirical information if it undermines their world view. It was never thought possible that a growing economy could have unemployment above IO%, but we do. So economists think of raising the “natural” rate of unemployment a little higher. Watch an economist run for rhetorical cover when asked why in an economy tha.t has grown over the last ten years, the middle class has expcrienced a sharp decrease in purchasing power over the same period. They will site increac;-

They walk a fine line between being libertarian and being anti-democratic, ing every person on the Earth a check for the decline in the quality of the air which belongs to all of us? The usual reason given by your typical fountainhead is that value like that cannot be easily calculated, it is an externality - so let the market decide. But what kind of market do we have? In Canada, the twelve richest families control 85% of all assets. These people don’t need to be part of some conspiracy against the working class because they have everything already. How they acquired that wealth is really secondary to the fact that because the economy reties so heavily on these people’s companies for money, they constantly hold governments hostage with the fear of mass layoffs. This seems to me to be very close to the feudalist societies which liberals railed against so passionately during the late 19th century. It seems quite a contradiction that an ideology that started out as a champion of universal suffrage now can’t get past the idea of Mill’s “tyranny of majority.” They walk a fine line between being libertarian and being anti-democratic. Less government, no arbitrary morality, don’t make me put a cent into the pot unless I get a cent’s out according to the market allocation of value. Opting out is a way of life for them because they don’t want to be bound to any decisions they don’t make. But how often are we bound to follow the dictates of a market controlled by a small fraction of the population. They have gotten so used to divorcing their abstract individu-

ing structural rigidities in the labour market and the presence of the national debt. But any macroeconomics text will tell you (pick up a copy of the Lipsey, Purvis, Steiner macroeconomics 101 text. It is easy to read andenables you to watch the Rush Limbaughs of the world contradict themselves over and over) that deficits are often a useful tool to even out government spending during lean years. So there goes the myth that deficits are always bad. They are only harmful when they crowd out investment excessively or reach a point of being an ever increasing proportion of GDP. Another rightist myth and one that appeared in the Imprint last week, is the idea that the public sector is by definition less efficient than the private sector. This little prejudice serves only to provide a rationale for complete privatisation. The truth is that large bureaucracies are inefficient, whether in the private sector or the public sector. There is no empirical evidence to support a claim that the opposite is true. In addition to this, the private sector often provides services at no cost and must always conform to a mandate other that profit maximization. If some of this economic jargon is confusing consider this - only priests were the keepers of holy information before the age 01 enlightenment. The peasants were not to be given the Truth. Today it’s the economists. -Wesley

Gaucher


INT’ERNATION-AI, WOMm’$

$TH

ANNUAI,

‘-WEEK ‘96

WOMm’$

RAG-

The origins of International Womyn’s Week can be traced to a strike called in the first decade of this century to protest overcrowded, dangerous working conditions and exploitive wages encountered by womyn textile workers in New York City. In I 910, at the Second international Conference of Socialist Womyn, Clara Zetkin proposed that March 8th be set aside each year in cornmemoration of womyn’s struggles. The first International Womyn’s Day was celebrated in many countries on March, 8th, 1911 with the theme “Universal Female Suffrage.” INTERNATIONAI,

WOMYN’S

DAY

COMMI?T’EE


.---~

B2

WOMYN’S

G-VVEN by rosemary fkom Match

crick

feminist cannat answer fix all womyn. The last thing Gwen wants is to take away another womyns voice. Gwen then commented an

G

the Kitchener court case. She said that the victory was mostly a symb&c one. Even if it is legal for wamyn to take their shirts off, the question is, do they feel safe to do so? For her part, Gwen said she can’t inject her freedom into other womyn but members of the audience informed her of the inspiration she has provided for them. Womyn may not have the official choice, but because of role models Iike Gwen Jacob and an inner cunvi&on, women who have the courage to cboose.While searching for inner fidelity, Gwen is forced to work within a system external and fureign to her herself, How can ske deconstruct something with the tools that built it? Fighting an external system she fmds it difficult to keep her focus. * Three of the other womyn who were arrested at the waik- a- breast rally also commented on their experience bath at the rally and since. The strength the womyn got Corn one another helped them get through the ordeal, Intimate emotions were shared amongst the outspoken audience throughout the evening. People were not afraid to spew a vocal stream of consciousness, and at t&es the l&use was anarchistic. Gwen Jacobs is currently appealing her conviction for indecent exposure.

SPEND

by shirleyann

hopkias.

0

n our cover you may have noticed the reference to the suffragettes. It should be noted that in the sufferagette movement, to vote you had to be Anglo, Franc0 or landed. It should be taught that Black, AsianandNative womyn and men were not included in the Suffrages campaign, nor were working class white womyn; Irish, Russian, Itailian, Jewish. While a small group of the Suffrages stated that all womyn and men should have the right to vote; most did not, The conflict arose between the Suffragettes and the Abolishionists, when white womyn stated that if the Suffragette movement joined forces with Black womyn and men in the abolishionist movement anddemanded votes for all than their white position would be diminished. There is al so suggestion that the suffragettes avoided the labour movement because it threatened their privileged position as womyn in relation to womyn. We are taught that it is a disservice to herstory to concentrate on the “superwomyn” of the past. Also, in looking at a movement that sought to participate in the democratic process, it would make sense to focus the attention on the majority who fought for the vote for white upper-middle class womyn.

T

Friday, March 1,1996

YOUR

“experience.” While there may be time to attend some of the 1200 scheduled events, the volunteers are pretty much at work all the time. Volunteers sleep outdoors and get 3 vegetarian or vegan meals per day. There is a ‘Bellybowl’ that is open 24 hours and has fruit and bread. According to all the womyn I’ve spoken with it is an excellent way to spend JuIy and August- in the company of 700 womyn. Once the Festival starts there wiII be approximately, 10 000 womyn present for the six days. Here are a couple ofpoints about the Festival: Most of the volunteer community is ‘clean and sober’. It is stressed that this is not a requirement but a safety issue. There are also 12 Step Programs available to those who need them in

Racism, classism, eco-racism, homophobia, white power, internalised patariachy, ablism, antiSemitismthese are still alive in the feminist, womynist and lesbian politic. What have womyn done collectively to end these inequalities and oppressions ? The Michigan Womyns Festival is an excellent example of how small groups of womyn can unlearn barrier behaviours. To address the aforemcntioned destructive choices womyn can make, they gather and thrash it out, so to speak. And the result is positive. The womyn learn and unlearn. But what happens when

sonal or mining technicians where they become invested in the destruction not {only of their land but their value system... It should come as no surprise that indigenous womyn lead the resistance against many development projects. Other issues included in the summary include: sacred sites becoming tourist attractions, desecrated by mining, which interferes with traditional ways; the promotion of the US Native Women Graves Protection and Repatriation Act, which provides for the return upon request, ofccrtain cuitural items, including human remains. The Human Genome Diversit-y Project which is Imandated to take lblood, tissue and hair samples from the world wide “endangered” Indigenous Peoples for “immorlalization” must be condemned as racist and without any scientific or moral purpose. It also states that Peoples wiI1 be used to rcfcr to the rights of Indigenous peoples on all International covenants to address the collective struggle for scl f-government and the rctum of land; an immcdiatecnd to forced sterilization and governmental use of Dcpo Provera and Norplant as palrt of sentencing and treatment of mental health issues.Thcse demands too were voted to the top of the Beijing collective summary to bc presented to the UN General Assembly. While feminists, womyn and lesbians around the world struggle and celebrate womyn on March 8, the question still lingers in the background as to th,e responsibility that white and non-indigenous womyn have to the global womyns community. It is difficult, and in my opinion unnecessary, to condemn the suffrages. To learn and to teach of her bigotry and classim is important. I think many of the womyn and men of all races who fought together to end slavery and get the vote were brave and noble. But I do not think those writing Herstory in the future will be in a position to be so generous to the feminists of today.

Herstory called the vote a victory. History calls it u Jeffersonian necessity.

SUMMER WITH 10,000 WOMY-N he Michigan Womyn’s Festival, August 13-I 8, is an annual international six day event and cultural gathering celebrating womyn’s community, performance, art and politics. Each summer a group of 700 womyn come together to build the actual communal village and operate all of the services that make the Festival such a success. This includes: the Community Centre, Kitchen, Traffic, WomynafCoIour, Childcare, DART, the Front Gate and about 40 other places to offer your skills. The festival organizers ask all prospective volunteers to consider that the work, (8-10 hours a day) is event production and strenuous labour. While the work respects each womyn’s physical ability, it is stressed that the volunteers remember that it is not a vacation but an

IMPRINT,

BFJJINC?r

JAcOB$

199%

wen Jacob spoke to an inspired crowd of mostly womyn last Tuesday as part of the In temat ional Womyns Week events. From the time she took her shiti off in the summer of 199 I, Gwens fame has mushroomed from an immature article in aGueIphpapcr headed ‘ Hot Stuff’, to international interviews and coverage. But a celebrity and a powcrhouse feminist is not who we saw. As Gwen casually sat on a desk, we heard an intimate account ofhow at different times we feel our foundations crumb1 ing and a peed for de& nition. Gwen explained that she is currently redefining many aspects ofherlife. Shestatedthatifwccame to hear answers we could ask for a refundShe’s not even sure if she has questions anymore. The evening officialIy started with skit written and performed by people from the womyns centre. The skit parodied anonymous commerits that had come as a reaction to the Walk-A-Breast Rally last Summer. Jacob explained that she is looking for something closer than her own breasts, something from within. She stated that conviction must come from one’sown strength. She encouraged feminists to define their own paths and act on their conviction. A discussion ensued about the diversity of feminism and that one

DAY RAG

the Community Centre. The Crew (coordinators) is primarily staffed by lesbians but there is always a mix of bisexual, heterosexual and lesbian womyn. The Crew isactivelyanti-racist. They practise unlearning racist, classist homophobic, abilist, antiSemitic, ethnocentric, and internalized oppression. Part of the work day often includes workshops in cornmunication and expression to help womyn to learn how to respect one another’s spaces. There are programs available for pre-teens and youth. No men, or male vocals on site. Ifyou would like more information about the Festival write to WWTMC. PO Box 7430 Berkeley, Califomia94707.L510-652-54lLTo photocopy the volunteer info drop by the womyns centre. ext.3457.

the human scaIe is increased to the size of the Beijing conference on womyn? The conference ‘is the fourth UN sponsored conference in which womyn from around the world gather to tell, share and summarize their collective needs. Issues of war crimes, land rights, low intensity war, and eco-racism were raised then voted to the top of the womyns collective demands. The debts fostered onto third world nations wart: voted down, and it was decided that the money had been paid back tenfold, so it is gratuitous, for lack of a better word, to extract more. In Beijing there was a true understanding and quest for womyn to listen to one another. Yet the farther womyn get from the conference the more the issues become ones of western and nonindigenous womyn. While there is a heightened sense of awareness that may add to the small collective, the problem remains ofhow the womyn in western power translate that through their positions of privilege and comsumption. The Summary Of The Issues Affecting Indigenous Women states that, “the difference between Indigenous Womyn and non-Indigenous feminists is that feminists talk about their rights and we talk about our responsibilities.” And from the Indigenous womyns Summary it is obvious that there is a commitment to land and culture; as well as an inference that responsibility for much of the suffering is caused by non- indigenous womyn. “The industrial economy often forces North American Indigenous Womyn into being accomplices in the destruction oftheir own ecosystem. Most striking is the training of Indigenous womyn in such occupations as power plant per-

LLGet jmur iy3slaries omny .ovari.es.‘”


WOMYN’S

DEX’O PROVI!iRA

FUN WITH FEMINIf?tM

D

ACROSS

DOWN

1, A feminine lesbian with a hutch partner. (5) 2. “The trouble with some women is that they get all excitedabout nothing - and then marry him.” (4) 3. Famous African-American lesbian author/poet: Audre

2. A womans pleasure button. (8) 4. FoughtfortherighttovotQ12) 8. Famous 19th century novelist. (5) 15. The crimson tide. (12) 16. TheWarof1812&chocolates: Laura * (6) 17. Form of birth control: coitus

3. Two ofthe first women practitioners in Canada: Emily Howard & Jennie . (2 words; 5 & 5) 5. The expulsion of the conceptus. (8) 4. Inflammation of the vagina and vulva. (7) 7. The social and cultural characteristics associated with being female or male. (6) 8. Author of Ten~pfe ~lf~%Iy Fmziliar: Alice 9. Self-IoX. ( 12) IO. “The only thing that makes life possible is permanent intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next.“: Ursala - (6) ------I 1. Not pornography but ---__II_ * (7) 12. The ‘7” word. (9) 13. Queen of Pop. (7) 14 -. _ vs. Wade. (3)

“To

be worshipped

18. “A woman without aman is like a fish without a bicycle.“: Gloria - 17)

19. U W professor of Anthropology 350: Harriet * (5) 20. Waterloo anti-choice organization. ( 10) 2 I. Growths in the uterus. (8) 22. Famous French feminist: Simone de 48)

is not freedom” -my

B3

DAY RAG

friend

Elite

epo Provcra is a synthetic homlonc which acts like the ferna tc hormone progcsterone. It has a wide range ofoff&%. It is used as ;I trcatmt:nt for cndomctriosis (a condition where the cells that lint the utcrusgrow in other parts of the body) and as a treatmentin certain kinds ol cdncot-s. Most importantly this drug is a very effective form of b&h control for women. As a binh control method it is given as an injection every three months. This is where the controversy begins. Like eveqdrug Depo Provera has a numbe&f other side effects on a womyns body. These effects are not well understood and there are serious concerns about the drug’s long tern1 safety. Over 2 I sideeffects are known. The most frequent are: change in cycle and flow, no pcriud or heavy flow, excessive weight gain, depressidn, loss of sexual desire and headaches. Some women found they had to wait upto 18 months to begin ovulating after their last: injection. Concerns about lorig term safety affects include higherrisk of breast and uterine cancers, bystcrb sctomies and bloodclots which can lead to strokes. Depro Provera has also been found in significant levels in the breast miIk ofnursing mothers. The effects on idant dcvelopment are unknown. ‘1 Depo Provera has been given as a birth control to womyn in pver eighty countries tiroughout’i the world. It was denied use as birth control in the US. In Canada it is used in the trbatmentr of endometriosis and cancer. Debtors may legally prescribe it for athor uses such as birth control. Depo Provera’ is given to womyn, especially womyn in the third world, without their consent. In Canada, Depo Provera is g&en to problem teenagers &d menMy and/or physically disabled women in institutions as a !birth c@trol method and/or t&prevent .&enstruation. Some q&e sex offenders are given depo pro.vexa to treat their sexual violence, but &@...-&ter all .:.::.a, r. :::

side eff’ccts art: cxpjained, and they sign a cotisenl,, Tht: DisAhlcd Women6 Nctwork (DAWN) is most concerned about the following issues and Ihe USC of Dcpo Provera: -- Disabled women arc not considercd as adult sexual persons and given the same sexual rights and freedoms as olther adults. They are often given Ikpo Provera without having and say or control of the injection;

---The --The

harmful effects; poor information disabled womyn receive about’ the harmful effects of Deplo Pioveia; ---The fact that disabld womyn are given Dcpo Provera to stop periods and prcvont pregnancies for no other reason thafi for the convcnicnceoEinstitu~,ionsandcarc givers; ---The assumption that a disabled womyn will bear disabl&ch&dren an&hat bearingdisa?>tedchildrcn is a bad thing. The Namibian Women’s Voice has been speaking out in Namibia against the Use of Depo Provora on Black womyn for over three years. The NWV is most conccrncd about the following issues: -4hly. Black wornyn are given Dcpo Provera in a racially mixed country; ----Over 50,000 Namibian womyn have been given Depo’PIovera as a matter of course & soon as they are old enough to have children; : --Depo Prover& many harmful side effects and Namibian womyns lack ofaccess tomedical f‘acilities to treat them. Bla.ck womyn are also not given a pregnancy test before the injection of the drug; --Namibian womyn are not given information about Depo’Provera and it is injected wi$hout their consent; --The South i&fiican government uses Depo Proyera to cantrol the population growth rate ofBbcks in Namibia. Depo Provera is wid@y used because it is cheap, effective, long lasting and:.can be given to thousands of “Black wotiyn” quickly, without explanation. . a& ‘/ . consent.

Womyn’s development, her freedom, her independence, must come from and through herself. First, by asserting herself as a personality, and not a sex commodity. Second, by refusing the right to anyone over her body; by refising to bear children unless she wants them, by refusing to be a servant to God, the state, society, the husband, the family, etc. By

making her life simpler but deeper and richer. That is, by trying to learn the meeting and substance of life in all its compllexities, by freeing herself from the fear of public opinion and public condemnation. Only tlhat, and not the ballot, will set womyn free.


B4

WOMYN’S

MARCH l-32 Rise with the sun: Women and Africa An exhibit of contemporary African art, created and selected by Africans dealing with women and their work. Kitchener City Hall Rotunda. Call 743-520 I for Info. . Sunday, March 3rd Cafe 96 Live Music Local Artists: Mary Am@pp- Car@ E&uce- Wendy Davis- Mary Eileen Mcclear- Judy Keller- ZoeJtinz~Erina Harris- Deanna Knight- Noni Crete- Cathy Drowne. At Weavers Arms. $5 at door Portion to Ansclma House. (FACETS,) Monday, March 4th A Litany for SurvivaI: The Life And WorkQfAudre Eorde. Film at SLC, Great Hall. 7 p.m. Ail Welcome. Free, Never released in Canada. A must see.

special order and will be in the Great Ha& Local Psycic- Ruz. Yoga. Leaping Lesbians. CKWR. Hispanic Womyns Suppaft Group. SPRIG. Global Community Centre. Gen X Videos. CFRU. Clubs. Planned Parenthood. Pottery by Mermaid Springs. Haus& of&bates. Fabled ClothBatiks and Crafis+. Work For Immigrant Womyn. CUPE 793. And many more,.. ;

Prof Night: Davis

Centre.

Wamyn In Academia. R&, 130 1 7 p.m. All W&ome.

Feminism and the Islamic Paradigm Reviewing, Redefining, Reforming. Muslim Students Assaciation hosts Maryam Bhabha, a French-Canadian convert to Islam. Arts Lecture Hall Rm. 105. 6 p.m.-X p.m. Free. All wclcomc. Fundraiser for Anselma House A lacal rcfugr: for womyn and children. Hosted by acoustic talents: David Cooper. Dana Manning. Scott Deneau. Deanna Knight. The Bombshclter. 8 p.m. All Welcome. $3. Wednesday, March Information Fair Student Life Centre.

7th

L

The

Great

Goddess-

SLC &I.

2139,

I-4:30

Wqrkshop p.m. Free. All W&come.

Claymation Classic Short film. Eggs, snakes and ovum.

Eurynome:

sustainer

of Jife,

the+ feeder.

Writlug Womp,

:

An afternoon of tea&g? by ~~~rnen wriEe~+ Special Guest Gayla Reid. Founder of Ki’nesis and Room Of U&s Own. Community Arts Centre, 25 Regina st. Waterloo. 1-5pm. Donation: Carit&; 886-4577.

6:30 p.m.

Wha’s

Counting? Marlyn Wating; Sex, Lies and The .,. Global Economic System. Feature f&n. A New Zea~an~ economist who at 22 entered the legisfature and revealed the lack of value for womyn’s work in the present global system and brought d;rwn the house. Davis Centre Rm. 1304. 7 p.m. Free ;Alf Wehxme. (YVPIRG) Slumber Party All womyn welcome. Wine, snacks, sleeping b@s a# Any Time after 9 JMII., SEC Womyn’s Cen&e &II.

All Day. The campus

earn to make clay goddesses and goddess pots in a relaxed atmosphere of discussion, creativity and networking. “The Mother ofsongs, the mother of our whole seed, bore us in the beginning. She is the mother ofall racesand the mother ofall tribes. She is themotherofthe thunder, themotherofthe rivers, the mother of the trees and of all kinds of things. She is the mother of songs and dances. She is the mother of the older brother stones. She is the mother of the grain and the mother of all things. She is the mother of the younger brother Frenchmen and of the strangers. She is the mother of the dance paraphemal ia and of all temples, and the only mother we have. She is the mother ofthe animals., the only one, and the mother of the Milky Way. It was the mother herself who began to bapt ix She gave us the limestone coca dish. She is the mother of the rain. the only one we have. She alone I the mother of things, she alone. And the mother has left a memory in all the temples.” Song of the Kagaba Indians, Colombia

Saturday, March 9th Womy$s Health Fair Local womyn practitiunq-s in alter&ve and traditional heaithca&. Ovkr “16.dif@ent health experts. Kitchener City Hall* 10 aaL* 3 pJxl* ,, ,,, i. >.

Judy Small In Concert Australia’s most popular folk performer. Part of proceeds to KW Sexual Assault Support Centre. Th,e Round Room ofthe ZionUn~~dChurcb~t32WeberSt.T~.$l3-$lSatdoor.Info: 741u121.

March

International Womyn”s Day. Events in Call to reserve a seat on the bus. Rosemary:

V’VOFZIC2!iHOl?

City

Thursday,

Friday, l+farch 8tb did a

Womynfest Waterloo region 3rd annual’coffee~ou~ at Kitihener .Hall Rotunda. Free. All Welcome. 7- l@m.

kading&id

6th bookstore

IMPRINT, Fridaly,March 1,1996

Womyn’s Bicycle Session An Intro to the basics: flats, greasing and lubing, stopping squealing brakes, etc. Taught by Maggie Anderson from Toronto Bicycle Network. at/host Recycle Cycles: 25 Regina St., Community Arts Centre 6-8 pm, (Aris f?orn WPRfG)

WhitFwash Pad-Ma-g Tuesday, March Sth Clay Goddess Making Workshop With Lisa Marcus from Mermaid Springs Pottery. Student Life Centre. Rm. 2 139. Free. All Welcome.

DAY RAG

: _? ’ ~D’s. 2102

.. Turoiitu ext.3457.

Sunday, March 10th Celebration Womyn’s art exhibitionopenskkch t&h 1pm. Runsuntilthe 3 1 st. Over 20 visual tiists. &veMrorks Building, 9 King St. St. Jacobs. Infa: 644- 213 1_ Thursday, March 14th Beijing Follow- Up II: Faces of The World. Fuur Delegates from t& conference in 95. Wilfi-id Laurier Science Building Rm. 1002. For further info call Graceat 66914?5, ” For more information or to volunttw/join in the i&rmstion fair, calit the Womyns Centre at 885-12 1lext. 3457.

LORDE

W

hitewash was founded in engalnd by two nice ladies who asked a couple of questions about what was in pads and tampons. They were told by evil old men in bow ties to piss off. The nice ladies researched the ‘goods’ and found chemicals, cover ups and insulting paternalism. Theircampaign totally grosses out some womyn but at the same time, has achieved worldwide success for environmentalism and womyn. The Whitewashes motto: Use em. Wash em, Reuse em. Facts from the Whitewash campaign: Womyn consume and purchase almost 80% of household products ( read 80% of waste). Pads/ tampons are not sterile but are bleached and individually wrapped to promote an aura of cleanliness. Environmental concerns include bleach and waste. Huge, multinational corporations play on the constructed, patriarchal idea that a woman is unclean when she menstruates and needs protection.

A

udre Lorde was a 58 year old Harlem-born daughter of Grenadian immigrants, a breast cancer survivor, a other of two children, a lesbian activist and an acute

feminist. Lorde was a cultural theorist and activist, and a builder of coalitions from New York to Soweto. F’rom challenging one’s own prejudices to battling shared injustices, Audre Lorde embodied the human potential that the Civil Rights movement and other struggles have failed to mobilize. Her many awards include two honorary doctorates and the Walt Whitman citation for poets. I,ordes’ many volumes of poetry and essays on race, gender, sexual identity and justice are internationally recognized as a vital force in movements for progressive social and economic change.

CROSSWORDANSWERS

Audre

Lorde

1934-1992.


MARCH

418,

Co-up got you down? If YOU have a co-op roblem that you have been unable to resolve, spAC has someoae that can help you cwt. The SAC Advisor is available in the Fed Office (Office of Academic Affairs Desk. x2340) from 9 - 12 on Monday and Friday. You can. also Areach the , 9 4 adwsor at sacWundergrad.math

1996

I

B ;

INTEFUVATIONAL

-TUESDAY, CONCERT AT THE

WOMYN’S

MARCH

5:

Nominate someone whi;contributes toasociety, residence, orcouncil. Nominate someone whIo volunteers.1 Nominate someone whocontributes to 1 I campus **‘Pick

lift

]

up a form in the Fed Office return it by March 20th

and

LANDLORD/‘LADV i OF THE YEAR???

BENEFIT

FOR ANSELMA BOMBSHELTER

HOUSE

FEATUmG DAYNA MANNING, SCOTT DENEAU, DAWD COOPER, AND

cm

KNIGHT. MUCH more trips, lectures.

http.//watservl

I

Is going J Coil

on (film nights, x4042. or 3457,

.uwaterloo.ca:&l/-fedintrn/women

html

I)r

NOMINATION FORMS ARE AVAILABLE IN TflE FED OFFICE. THE WINNERS WILL BE RECOGNIZED AT A BANQUET ON MARCH 25THW CALL THE 888-4042

f=ED OR

WFICE POR MOFtE RBIlKIC@F;EDS.WATSTAR

DETAILS

UnfortunateIy the k,IS&Cabr’idi’iaIk has 1 been cancelled. Tickets arc no longer available. Sorry for any inconvenience.

Unfortunately the Ellen Cabriel talk has b ten cancelled. Tickets are no longer available. Sorry for any inconvenience.

SARO

presents,,

Friday

March

1st

thdsTow SmmdAy MAR& hd


This

weekend

For Waterloo, Tuesday night versus Guelph was...

in

Varsity sports *

Friday March 1st

by Peter

PAYBACK TIME Brown

to Imprint

special

R Sat March 2nd

Atkntr Track OUAPJOWIAA

& Warrior aud Field Championships

t pm. Athena OWIAA

Indoor Hockey Championships at York

Sun March 3rd

cvenge is a dish that is best served gold. And black, that is. Avenging two straight playoff losses to the Guelph Gryphons, the Warrior basketball team went into the House of Slam Tuesday and left with a convincing 69-57 quartexfinal win to qualify for the OUAA West final-four tournament, starting tonight at c‘opps Coliseum in Hamilton (see preview on page 26). At 6 p.m. tonight, the Warriors take on the Western Mustangs. In the other semi-final at 8 p.m., first seed and hometown favourite the McMaster Marauders play the Lakchead Nor’wcstcrs, Tuesday night’s other upset Gnner, 73-58 over the Hrock Badgers. Tuesday’s win UVCKthcGryphens was a rubber ;n;~tch tr:, rernember as the Warriors returned to the same court where. just three days ~artior, Guelph had routed thcn~ 89-60 to even the season series and wrap up the regular-season schedule. And all UW did ws put together its best teanl win this year to salvage a disappointing S-9 regular season. “We’ve looked like undcrachievers this season, and we look like overachievers now,” said UW head coach Tom K&wetter. continued

to page 26

Australia-bound

Mike Stroeder tomahawks contributed to the 69-57

one down in the House slaying of the golf-course

of Siam Tuesday bound Gryphons.

night.

The monster

dunk

head coach leaves on a high...

Curlers rock to two titles By BU special

T

Tschirhart to Imprint

he curling Warriors and Athenas accomplished a rare double victory in the OUAA and OWIAA finals played at the East York Curling Club in Toronto this past weekend. Going into the championship bonspiel hosted by the University of Toronto, the UW squads shared first place won/lost records. The finals pitted the top six schools in each division (OU& OW) in another winner-take-all round robin format. On day one of the two day event, the Warriors reeled off wins over defending champion Laker, MacMastcr and RMC. They capped their perfect record with wins over Western and Nipissing. Going into the Western game, each school was undefeated so essentially- the was on the ->?“’gold medal1*._1 I

line. After 6 ends of the 10 end contest, the Warriors trailed the experienced Mustang quartet by a seemingly insurmountable 4 points. But three on the 7th end nvIh last stone advantage and a steal of three more in the 8th end, proved fatal for uwo. A last round WinoverNipissing was a must for in the final draw, two schools with only one loss, UWO and Laurier, were ready for a tie breaker gold medal game should the Warriors stumble. The game was close but the Warriors steady play under the leadership of skip James Bromiley, sealed the OUAA title with a 10-8 victory. Joining Bromiley were lead Jamie Lidstone, secondscott Reid and third Ian Palangio. The Athenas title came about in strikingly similar fashion, they too opened on day one with three wins. In games one and two the UW women comfortably set aside teams . 1

from Western and Queen’s The last game on day one saw them play one of only two schools, to defeat them in west sectional play back in December, the Brock Badgers. True to form the game came down to the last stone with the score tied. Athena skip Susan Froud had to make an extremely difficult “double raise takeout.‘* To spectators behind the glass her shot looked a little wide of the target stone as it made its way down the sheet of ice, but a good bit of curling of the stone in the last few feet and expert calling of the brushing by third Amy McAninch saw the two Brock counters exit the house to keep the Athenas undefeated going into day two. Their opponents on day two were the winless RMC and Nipissing. The RMC foursome proved to be worthy opponents as they served notice to the front running Athenas that they would not *

roll over and die for them. After end one, the Athenas were looking at a 5-O deficit. But patience and still another end saving “double” by skip Froud led the Athenas wasted little time and in only 5 ends the game was over. Assisting skip Froud and third McAninch were second Dawn Patterson and lead Kristy Yamasakii. The double title feat also marked the end of the coaching career at UW for varsity coach Bill Tschirhart who has accepted the position of national coach with the Australian Curling Association along with his duties as a national high performance coach with the Canadian Curling Association and Curl Ontario. This year, a former UW varsity athlete in Bill’s programme, Dean Palmer acted as assistant varsity coach and hopes to take up the reins as varsity coach next year.


IMPRINT, -..~~ -.-

~-.~

Fridrly, March I, 1996

~--- ---____“--_--SPORTS ~-_

Just when the other teams thought

-

it was safe to compete*..

Track dk Field ready for provincials c,

by Jason Gregoire and Dave Fisher Imprint staff

improvement throu&out with PBS in both the 6Om ~7.2%) and 300m (37.X) at Western two weeks ago. Also competing in the 6Om and Shorts” 3OOm is Tory “Weird Locker who set ti ITI of 38.77 just this past weekend at Torouto Last Chance. Also showing their sprint prowess will bc big (make that huge!) Mike MaIott in the 001~~ and rookie Mike Urowers in lhe 601~ Hurdltx The Athenas demonstrate excellent depth in thtl sprint events. Lead by varsity record brcaktxs, Rachel Nickie and Sue Cadarette, who tied each other in the 55m at Cornell in 7.46s and then went even FASTER at Notre Damtz (Rachel, 7.3%; Sue, 7.40s), and xwmpanid by Melissa IIulf~~rd and Jill I&znnett, the 60m at York

should be great fun. Jill ts also ready to contend for a medal in the hOm Hurdles where she hal; qualilied l‘or ClAUs with a time ot’8.9Ss. Except for Jill, these three \f ill also dole out some punishment along with team captain April Harper in the 300m. Middle Distance llcrc the Warriors arc: led by 5th year veteran and team captain, Jason “The Jaguar” Gregoire. The Jaguar has shown that he c;ln run with the best across all middle distances with CIAU qualitiing and

Top 10 times in the 1OOOm, 150Om, and 30OOm. Since the schedule doesn’t allow for a legitimate shot at the triple, the Jaguar will limit himself to chances at Gold in the I500m and 3OOOm events. Following in his fast footsteps will be rookies Gord “Gork” Kenny Richard ( 1000rn; 15OOm), “Lady Killer” Lander ( 1500m), anlt Jason “Oops-Catch-A-Cab” Krell ( IOOOm) who have all steadily improved this season and are looking for their personal best this weekend! On the Athena side, there is Judith “Athlete-Of-The-WeekAgain” Leroy. Judith has had a great season with CIAU qualifying times in both the 1500m and 3000m. Her first ever attempt at the 3000111 resulted in a new varsity record of 10:00.8! And with an incredible first place t’lnish and meet record this past weekend in the 1OOOm at Notre Dame, Judith, like the Jaguar, must decide which two of three events will she race at York. Regardless, she will be in the medal hunt in whatever races she chooses. On the shorter side of middle distance, Cheryl Turner and rookie Joelle Carmichael will race the 6OOm and 1OOOmevents. Both havs raced well this season and with the upcoming rest, should go faster then ever at York. Events J&I’ Miller Icads the Warriors higher and higher in the Pole Vault where he is ranked first in the nation and is looking to defend last year’s title! A model of consistency, Jeff has fared no worse than 2nd this season and is hoping to break his own varsity record of 5.15m at OIJAAs and then CIAUs. Jeff will also try out his Ieaping ability in the high jump as well, where he will be accompanied by fellow highjumper, Steffan Watson who are both close to CIAU standard. On the longer and longer side ofthings, the Warriors have a whole crew of long and triple jumpers ready to leap farther than ever. In the longjump, Jason Simpson leads the Warrior charge (6.1&n) followed very closely by Fred Hazelton, Drew Guckenburger, and Mike Malott. In triple jump, it’s Fred at the lead with a PB this past weekend at Toronto (12.75m), followed by Jason, Drew, and Steffan. Team comedian extraordinaire, Rick Shea will also compete with his usual vigor in the shot put. And it’s in the shot put, where Athenas Yvonne Anekwe and Sue Cvitkovic will strut their stuff. Both have broken the previously existing varsity record this season with persona1 best throws of 12.02m and I l.O5m, respectively. Yvonne also leads the Athena charge in the long jump followed closely by Val Lingard. And Andrea Beland will round things out for the Athenas in the high jump.

(Sue Cadarette, Melissa Hulford, Jill Bennett, and Rachel Nickie) made CI,4U standard with a time of‘ 1:44.8 at Western two weeks ago, and they are ready to go even FASTER! Except forJi I1 who keeps to the shorter stuff, these three will be accompanied by distance sensation, Judith Leroy, in the 4x400m. The Warrior 4x200m team (.“Forrest” Giesen, Tory Lot ker, Drew Guckcnburger, and The Stealth)just narrowly missed CIAIJ standard at Western, and will be eager to try again against the best in Ontario. Except for Drew, these three will be accompanied by The Jaguar

of the competition are this weekend

in the 3000m at York.

past

w

WATERLOO 747-9888 University of Waterloo’s Pizza Haven!

3 Medium Pizza 3 toppings

I Large Pizza 1 3 fopDims, 4 coke

1

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El

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I I

The .lag hustles out ahead race. The provincial finals

‘This

160 University Ave. W, (Next to U of W),

Field

The Retays The Athena 4x200m team represent our best chance for a medal in the relays. This smokin’ team

in the 4x400tn.

weekend at Notre Dame, the Stealth, the Jaguar, and a rested “Forrest” all ran PBS in a fast 4x4OOm, of which the Dumpsters were most

impressive (3 seconds!). Head Coach Brent McFarlane, has been most impressed with the improvement seen this year in so many of Waterloo’s track and field athletes. He attributes this to their hard work al1 season and, ofcourse, to the exceptional work done by the coaching staff. The entire l-earn would like to sincerely thank their coaches, Brent (Sprints), John Swarbrick (Middle Distance), Gary Wilson (Jumps), Tim Mussar (Throws), and Dave Rombough (Long Sprints) for a job well done. And for any athletes who might bc thinking or worrying too much about their upcoming races, 1 leave you with Coach Swarbrick’s fine words: “Blah, blah, blah-.-just shut up and RUN (or jump, vault, throw)! ! !”

$i%

1 2 Large Pizza I 4 toppings, 2 lb. I wings,8 pack of

p I


SPORTS

Warriors,

IMPRINT,

getch ver d

Lakhxd

University

1, 1996

uns

g

Nor’U’estcrs

Friday, March

University

of Western

Ontario

Mustangs

II 21) 21 I4 I2 23 24 42 55 54 4 22 44

Waterbo

M&laster

Warriors

33

Tom Bdlt-l2

3 5 10 20 23 32 34 42 43 33 54

hlark Eys !vlano w atsa Matt WAiams Mike C‘rosby Dan hleichcnbaum Remy Dunatdson Scott (‘all011 Mike Stroeder Derek Maat Nick Poulimenos Mark Hopkins

55

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5 2 2 2 1 1 1 3 2 1 3 5

6’9

20s

2

by Peter Brown special ta Imprint

I

Jlano

Watsa

CIontinued

from

(5) puts

the rock

up and over

page 24

“Which one w xc. I don’t know. But headed in the right direction.” B~ating(iui:Iph in thciro\.r,n~ymbrought ;I satist‘action to players and fans alike, wen though key players like Mana Watsa and blike Stroedcr were still high school seniors \i.t”rt’

3 no. 6 Guelph beat a no. 3 Waterloo in a quarter-final. “It u as a s~tect victory, to turn the tables like that and do to them what they did to us. But tz~ en the younger players remember last yc’dr [LAYI Guelph beat Waterloo in a west Ilist fall u hen they beat us in the championship game of the Ryerson toumamtlnt.” Fifth-year centrc Mark tjopkins made ~-e that Tuesday’s game was not his last with a strong performance: 15 points, 9 rebounds, and 4 blocks. Stroeder scored 15 as ~11, and Matt Williams hit four three-pointers to finish with 12 points. Tom Balfe, also in his fifth and final year, and Watsa both helped stave offelimination with 8 rebounds apiece. Watsa showed the complete package with 8 points, 10 rcbounds, and 5 steals. “I haven’t really thought about it,” 1Hopkins said of his waning days tis a Warrlc)r. “Hy this point in my career, l’vc watched othcrguysguout, like Scan [Van Koughnctt], i-4Icx [ Lrosevic], and (Mike] Duartc. I’ve s5uen them play well, even though you could tell they WCI-c thinki,lg about it, So, I’ve tried

a dismayed

Gryphon.

to say to myself, this is another game. I’m going to try to do as well as 1 can and whatever happens, happens.” “As soon as this game was over, I realized I’ve got another one, But I won’t really think about a game being my last until it’s over, whenever that last game is.” Waterloo managed to keep contro1 during a gamt: of runs. Waterloo led 10-8 early in the first half, Cuelph responded with 8 straight points, and the Warriors tore off 7 points of their ourn. With 6: 1 1 to play in the first frame, Watsa stole the ball from Guelph’s Cam Nekkers and fed Strocder for the big dunk to put IJW up 24- 19. But Stroeder hung too long on the rim to keep from landing on Balfe, and was called for the technical foul. Waterloo led 33-29 at the half, and then took control in the second frame. After Guelph’s Collin Jones scored to cut the lead to 2, the Warriors went on a 14-5 run fUelted by tenacious defence to go up 47-36. “We played our best ball of the season,” Kieswetter said. “We executed our game plan, but more importantly, we played with emotion, fire, passion.” The Gryphons made a run midway through the half, helped by a pair of questionable calls from the officials, first a block by a seemingly statiunary Hopkins, and then an offensive foul assessed against Williams. Guclph got as close as 49-45 before IO straight Warrior points sealed the affair. Paul Elderidge and Alex Brainis scored 12 and 10 points for the golf course bound Gryphons.

t wasn’t as expected as last season, but here the Warriors are back in the OUAA West division’s fmal-four tournament at Copps Coliseum, just two wins away from the ClAU eight-team championship tournament, slated for Halifax’s Metro Centre Mar. 15-l 7. To repeat their upset-minded ways, the Warriors will have to play with the unselfishness and cohesion of the squad that crushed the Guelph Gqphons in the second half of Tuesday night’s quarterfinal match. “Right now, we’re succeeding as a team,” Tom K&wetter said. “In the past, we may have relied two much on one or two players. This year, WC have five guys averaging in double figures. That tells you something.” During regular season, the west division seemed to be evolving into two tiers, with a distinct gap between the fourth-place Brock Badgers (9-5) and the fifth-place Lakehead Nor’westers (6-8). But all bets were offafter Tuesday night’s upsets. “There was a huge difference [between the top ar,d bottom of the division] ifyou look at win-loss records only,” Kieswetter said. “But there were a lot of close games, and overtime games.” Don’t be surprised if the Warriors have one more upset up their sleeves. Also, don’t be surprised if the Marauders earn the ticket to the east coast. No. 6 Waterloo Warriors (5-9) versus No. 2 Western Mustangs Fri, Mar. 1 (tonight!), 6p.m.

(11-3)

The Mustangs thumped the Warriors by 20 points in each of their two regular-season meetings (87-67 and 8666), but these teams are not that far apart on paper, and should not be on the Copps Coliseum court. “We didn’t play a good game either time we played the Mustangs, but we’ve made strides since those games,” Kieswetter said. Western’s strength is their veteran savvy, with six players in fourth or fifth year.

04 05 25 32 34 35 42 44 45 52 53 53 55

University

Mauraders

Krisli;ln Olauson ci Keegan Johnson C; Rich Wesolowski 6 Titus C’hanner 6 Jussic &xi-Tutu G Jamie Girolame~to G Jason Meskis F Mike Milnc F N igcl Raw lins G/F Kyle Rysdale F Adnan Smith F Nathan Stepanovich F Jeff Wettlaufcr F

Fifth-ycarpfayers, forwards Mike Lynch and Mike Miine and ccntro Kyle Kysdale, join fourth-year guards Blake Gage and Jason Meskis and ccntrc Jeff Wettlaufer. Lynch averaged 16.6 points per game, good enough for fifth in divisional scoring. Waterloo’s best dcfence for Western’s experience is tough, physical play down low, without getting too physical. In short, Hopkins and Bal fe are going to have to walk a fine 1ine between pounding on the Mustang forwards and committing fouls. And, as it has been throughout the year, UW’s chief concern is going to be playing under control, whet.her in the half-court offence or on the fast break. During the regular-season finale loss at Guelph, UW committed 35 turnovers. In tile second half of Tuesday’s win, the Warriors limited their turnovers to just 7. Take care of the ball, lads. No. 5 Lakehead Nor’westers (6-8) versus No. 1 McMaster Marauders Fri Afar. I, 8p.m.

(11-3)

Lakehead’s upset win over Brock on Tuesday did not come as a huge surprise to this reporter. The Badgers had not achieved fourth by dominating teams. As Waterloo saw (despite being swept by them), Brock was quite beatable if one could make Dave Picton (27 points per game, first in west division scoring) score all the points. But now, Lakehead is set to crash to earth. The Marauders will actually have to play poorly to not win this game. Picton should. be the division’s MVP, but no player is quite as dominating as Mac’s Titus Charmer (23 PPG, 2nd in divisional scoring). Teamed up with Keegan Johnson (7.2 rebounds per game) and Rich Wesolowski, the Marauders have as intimidating a lineup through the one, two, and three spots as the d.ivision has seen in a while. Then, down low, Mac sports top rookie candidate James Akrong (4’8”) and fourthyear forward Tom Newton (6’6”). Lakehead dots have I.‘raig Law scoring 17.6 PPG but do not have the depth to stay with McMaster.


The

Combatants Sunday

i Far

West

I

#

4 5

I I I 1 1

IS 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

I 24 I 25 I I 1

26 30 3I

DanMundell C’hris Krwtn~r Derek Austin Brian Iienry Peter Brcarly Dwaync Johnson Matt St. Gerrnain Mu-k Vaughan Aaron Kenney Mike Chambers Brian Hulk Joe Harris ToddRusset

LW c RW LW

c Lw LW D RW C RW LW RW c D G c

5’9 180 5’11 189 5’10 170 6’2 205

$9 5’11 6’0 5’10 6‘3 6’0. 6’0 6’4 S”1t. 5’11 6’5 5’8 5’8

160 162 190 205 215 I85 210 195 IX0 180 241 175 165

I 3 3 2

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Head Coach

Don McKee

Regular season vs. L~I~TCM~M: vs. Glrelyh:

I vs. UQTR:

I

Far

GiteEph

ChaclLehtonert SteveSmith Shetdon Gilcfirist Jeff‘CioIdie

1

Mid-East

Mid-West

I I I # I 1 21 I 3 I

2 p.m.

L, W, W, did

7-5 6-5 5-2 not

in Sudbury at CIF in Guelph play

Well, what are we supposed to say about our boys? The Waterloo Warriors have been the league’s most consistently strong team, emerging into a national powerhouse after the Christmas break in the minds ofthe pollsters. Needless to say, the Warriors lived up to every ranking and award given to them, combining an unbelievable work ethic with strong systematic play. If you wanted a ditch dug quickly, you’d call this hockey club. However, if you want the ditch dug beautifully, you’d also calf this cIub. The Warriors scored the second most goals in the OUAA this season and possess the most un-Leaf-like defensive carp around. Goaltending is also a positive strength. Keys to the CIAUS: To get EO the Nationals in TO next weekend, the Warriors must beat Laurentian, a dynamic club capable of scoring timely goals. If the Warriors’ special teams are sound, look for Waterloo to win by two.

Nlg+glp

:

POS

22 Patrick Armatage RW I C 23 ,:: Brad Baber .:L W 20 ...:Rick Borth&ick 7 ‘:, RsbettBn& ‘., D 35:; DavidDofosh :’ ; G’ 21 DarrenQxq.gq’ C 26 Gory Eww’, .’ LW 4 Corey Fletcher D 3 Alain Giruuard D I9 David Gaff D 24 Ki ley Hi)1 LW 8 Carson IrR;wis F I 7 Duane Lewis RW KevinMackay RW 9 35 ChrisMcCarthy G D 18 E-&nuodMick 5 Corey Murphy D IO 1effYaquette LW 33 Gary Ross G c 16 Jordan Scmbn G 30 Sean Spencer

Regular vs. WGlm-loo:

vs. UQT’:

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YR 3 1 4 1 i 3 I 2 I 2 1 1 4 1 1 2 5 2 4 2 2

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Head Coach

vs. Gudph:

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# 4 5 8 IO 11 12 14 15 I6 17 18 I9 20 21 22 23 24 26 27 32 33 35

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150

vs. Wuterloo: vs. Laurmfiun: vs. UQTH.

The Laurentian Voyageurs are a scary team similar to the Windsor Lancers. They are very competitive, very tough on defence, and have timely goal scorers. Sault Ste. Marie, the hockey talent pool of Northern Ontario, has been good to the Sudbury-based university, providing three top players in Kevin Mackay, Brad Baber, and Kiley Hill who were all among the top twenty in scoring this season. In fact, the Voyageurs currently are riding a high, pounding Brock in their two game series by a cumulative score of 13-6. David Graff currently feads the playoff picture with six points and Hill is the prize potter with four biscuits. Not the most disciplined team this side of the Canadian Shield, the Voyageurs are apt to taking a lot of penalties, but have fared relatively well in their games against Waterloo. Both games were spectator-friendly, and more of the same is expected Saturday night at 7 p-m. Keys to the CLAUS: The Voyageurs have a big hurdle in the number-three CIAU ranked Warriors. A big part of Laurentian’s success will depend on whether veteran goalie Gary Ross can play the game ofhis life, Seven or eight goals for will help, too.

NM?

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can turn

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around with a mighty glove save. Keys to the CIAUS: The Gryphs are facing the Fabulous Frenchmen, and in order to win, they’ll need a balanced effoti to pull off the now-familiar trip to Toronto. Also, they cannot take penalties because UQTR will Iove nothing better than playing a man up. Guelph must show some discipline. I

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Guelph has had recognizable trouble this season. They have failed to emerge as a force against the upper echelon OUAA teams. They also were marred in a recent article by Christine Blatchford in the Toronto Sun regarding treatment of rookies and hazing tactics. Guelph has annually found themselves in a playoff spot because of the relative weakness of the Mid-East division. The Gryphs lost their top scoring forward Todd Wetzel last year and have responded this season with a really balanced attack that sometimes collapses when they don’t dictate the play. The defence unit is relatively big and takes up a large amount of icetime, but the main strength in the goalprevention department is goalie Matt Mullin, an OUAA

I I

NAME

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season

W, 7-5 in Sudbury L, 6-5 at CIF L, 5-4 in Guefph W, 6-5 in Sudbury L, 4-3 in Sudbury

i

UQTJt ._

NAME

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East

play in Sudbury in Guelph at UQTR

UQTR is the favourite to win the OUAA Queen’s Cup and is currently the topranked team in the nation, despite squeaking by the Ottawa Gee-Gees in double overtime of the third game of their divisional final. UQTR has no apparent weaknesses, evident by their potent, powertil offence, impressive power-play and sound defence. Les Patriotes played the entire Ottawa series without the services of their top pointgetter and the OUAA leading scorer, Marc Beaucage, a speedy little dlynamo who is capable of putting together an explosion of points in a matter of minutes. UQTR has had a history of underachieving in recent playoffs, and this year, expectations are nothing less than a national title. They are the team to beat, and everyone knows it. Keys to the CIAUS: Rlealisticalfy, aff fes Patriotes have to do is play their game and not get distracted. A smart team like Guelph will concern itself with distracting UQTR from their ‘flow’ by freezing the puck frequently. UQTR has to bury Guelph early on in the game. Don’t give ‘em life. mmmmmmmmmlmmmJ II

I

I I I

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28

SPORTS

All through the Warriors ’ top-ranked

Friday, March

IMPRINT,

1, 1996

season...

COscarS worth his wei .ght in Gol.d-ie by mmberly Imprint staff

Moser

bage goals. Out of my I7 goals this season, prohably 15 are just lying around the crease and 1 just happened to put them in.” Being Johnny-on-the-spot is no small potatoes and actually is old hat these days for any successful hockey team. For example, look at Detroit Red Wing superstar Dino Ciccarelli amassing almost 550 goals so far in his NHL career. There’s also Leaf winger Dave Andreychuk, who lives in front of the net, at the peril and mercy of defencemen determined to knock out hisback with a well-timed crosscheck before the ‘big Bud’ can knock the puck into the net. So understandably, Goldie is defensive towards his role and nickname. “I say if everyone could get garbage goals, they would, because its so easy.” It takes technique and patience to score these types ofgoal, as well

J

cff Goldic’s teammates have nicknamed him ‘Oscar’, the moniku being hung because of the garbage goals he has the penchant for scoring. However, after this weekend’s games, they might want to add Super to Oscar’s name. You xc, without Goldie’s scvcn points this weekend, four on Thursday and three on Saturday, the University of Waterloo Warriors hockey squad might not be one win away from a CIAU chtimpionship appearance. “1 don’t score: a lot of pretty end-to-end goals,” admits Goldie on how he earned his nickname this season. “It’s Oscar the Grouch because I live in the garbage can (in front of the opposition net) and because most of my goals are gar-

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as some serious hand/eye coordination. Goldie has always had the patience, but its the technique that he’s had to work on throughout his career. “I first started out as a goaTie, and I was absolutely terrible,“reminisces the Golden Jeff. “So I started playing at forward. My skating has always been the thing I’ve had tmuble with because I’m a big kid. It wasn’t until Bantam that I started being one of the better kids. Other than that, I was always a big kid who skated around. Then, my feet kinda caught up with the rest of my body, and I was able to do the things that I wanted to do. “I’m still not the fastest skater in the world, and I’m not going to dazzle anyone with my speed. So, it’s probably best for me to hang around and just knock in some of the garbage.” And as much as his teammates like to hassle him, in reality, they wouldn’t have it any other way. With 17 goals this season, Goldie was the Warriors’ second leading biscuit-baker. His calm and quiet leadership in only his sophomore season has helped to balance a squad that has many intensity-driven players. “I’m pretty much the same quiet, calm guy, no matter what. I don’t ever get all riled up and scream. I don’t talk a lot in the room. I kind of just go out and never get too excited. “I just try to play both ways, offence and defence. I think, most of all, my job with Steve Smith and Peter Brearley (the other members of the Warriors’ frightening edition of the Legion of Doom line who have played together all year) is to score goals and put points up on the board. If that’s not going well, I’11 just try something else.” A native of Owen Sound, Goldie realizes what this next game means for the Warriors. A win and the Warriors are in the CIAUs March 9th and 10th in Toronto. A loss and the team hits the golf course with Happy Gilmore, disappointed and frustrated over what might have

by Aman Singh special to Imprint

t was a determined Waterloo Men’s soccer team that arrived at the George &own Indoor Soccer Tournament hoping to improve on a promising showing at the York Tournament three weeks ago. Waterloo found themselves in pool play against York University, Niagara College fi-om New York, Sault College, and Conestoga College, Waterloo’s first task involved an encounter with the Condors from Conestoga. After the final whistle, Waterloo had to accept a bewildering one-all tie. In a game that saw Waterloo dominate throughout, only the smallest mental lapse prevented victory. The next match for Waterloo proved to be a roller coaster against

I

Warrior

forward

Jeff

Coldie

displays

the tricks

of the trade.

been for this dominating force all season long. “The thing that has got us here is that we’re a really hard-working team, but I think we have a lot more talent than people give us credit for. Yeah, we’re a hard-working team, but we scored the second most goals in the OUAA this year (behind UQTR). You have to have a lot of talent to do that. “Everyone this season has just played the best they can all year. John Wynne (OUAA nominee for CIAU player of the year), Mark Cardiff, Joe Harris; everyone has just played their top game. If we can keep doing that, we can go a long way.” The Warriors play the Laurentian Voyageurs at the Waterloo Ret Complex Saturday night.

This Warrior hockey club, ranked as one of ttre top teams in Canada all year, would love the support of their fans #and fellow students. Let’s all make a point to attend and fill the Complex (located on Father David Bauer Drive on the comer of Albert and Erb by the Seagram’s museum). Let’s show schools like Western and Guelph that we have the number one f;tn support base as we11 as the number one team in Canada. If not to see the hockey, then come to see your favouri tc Sesame Street charac tcr: Oscar the Grouch. He’s easy to find; look for Number Eleven with the psuedonym ‘GoIdie’ written across the back of his sweater, standing in front ofthe net, bangin’ them in for the Black and Gold.

the strong American team from Niagara College. After spotting Niagara a three-goal lead, Waterloo showed some real character, turning the tide with a waterfill of goals to knot the match up at threeall. Unfortunately, the impressive comeback went all for naught as once again, a loss of concentration cost Waterloo the game in the final seconds. The Warriors now desperately needed a win if they hoped to advance beyond pool play. It was this focus that allowed Waterloo to run rampant on Sault College, snowing in the Northern squad with a five-goal flurry. The next match featured Waterloo against the York Yeomen in the final game of pool play. For Waterloo, only a win would push them through into the playoff picture. The Warriors struck first early

on, but gave up two goals to trail by one. Late in the match, the Warriors’ hard, work paid off, as they scored with only minutes retnaining to tic. Sadly, there were no more goa.ls, and York would move on through points. Waterloo will have to wait for their next chance in Brock on March 9th. The weekend, however, was deemed a success. Waterloo played some of their best soccer of the year, providing fans with both a skillful and entertaining display. Coaches and players were very pleased with their play and the team seems to be really gelling in hopes of a good showing in their next tournament and next year’s CIAU soccer season. If you are interest in trying out for the hfien’s Varsity soccer team, please contact Dennis Peeman at 7X-8772.


IMPRINT,

by The Imprint

Friday, March 1, 1996

Grouse staff

P

erhaps the most disgusting display of poor sportsmanship so far this year was the senseless attack ofa hockey referee by the University of Moncton Blue Eagles hockey team. The Blue Eagles, the defending national champions, were eliminated from the AUAA playoffs tast Saturday on a controversial overtime goal by UPEI. Frustrated, they chose to vent their anger towards the referee who was simply doing his job. ofl*icials are an Sports underappreciated commodity. Being a sports official is arguably one of the toughest jobs that a person could ever have. An official has to be constantly on their toes, keeping control of the game and the tempers of the participants. Officials deal with players and coaches as diplomatically as possible while being confronted with hostility. Participants will argue with officials about calls, and this must be

by The Imprint

0

Fan staff

K, this week there’s a lot to talk about in the world of sports, so I’m going to cut the crap and jump right in. The horizon is looking pretty bleak if you’re a Toronto sports fan. The Leafs seem content to continue this inexplicable slide; how can a team out-play Pittsburgh and equal Dstroit, yet play like such garbage against San Jose, Los Angcies and the other dregs of the ieaguc? They’ve already lost their hold on third place in the Western Conference, and though fourth and fifth place are within reach, can they play well enough to move up from 6th in the conference? Muiier, Giimour and Sundin are playing almost like they should, but the rest ofthe players counted on to provide offence, such as Warriner, Andreychuk and Craig aren’t. Unti1 they get solid production, we’re not going anywhere. The Raptors completed the long-expected trade of Willie Anderson, but the deal for Sharone Wright was a surprise. In Doug Christie and Sharone Wright, lsiah Thomas has picked up two players with great potential, who can play key roles in the building of this team. And finally, Jimmy King is getting enough playing time to develop his skills and is starting to look like another good pick. So, next year’s potential starting lineup is shaping up to be Damon

accepted as part of the job. One thing that is not acceptable, however, is violence towards officials. You never, EVER, lay a hand on sports officials. Anyone who does so has absolutely no respect for the sport in which they are participatmg. The goal in question was a siapshot that apparently rang off the back crossbar and back out. The goal judge signalled a goal, but the referee initially ruled that the puck went off the front crossbar and was not agoai. On the ensuing stoppage of play, the referee confcrrcd with his linesmen and the goal judge to make sure that such an important play was called correctly, which was the correct thing to do in that situation. After discussing it with the other officials, the referee signailed that a goal had in fact been scored. This gave UPEI the win and ended the season for the Blue Eagles. It is a disappointing way to end the season and there was obviously going to be some negative reaction from Moncton. However,

Stoudemaire and Alvin Robertson at guard, Wright at centre and Tracey Murray at small forward. Power forward will hopefully be filled in the draft. Thomas is proving his worth as a GM, and 30 wins seems like a reasonable goal for next season. Don’t expect too much from the Blue Jays this year. Every team goes through a rebuilding phase these days, and Toronto was due, We supported the Leafs for twenty years under Harold Ballard, when any pi ayer that performed was trade bait, and they haven’t won anything in 30 years. Right now, Toronto has a decent crop of youngsters to bring along. Back in the early eighties, the Jays had a similar situation, and it culminated in a decade of winning plus two World Series. Just keep in mind, we can’t win the Series every year, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the game. The Jays may lose more than they win, but with the likes of Green, Deigado, Gonzalez and Hengten to watch, it should be exciting at least. Sad as it sounds, the best prospects for any Toronto sports team is the Argonauts. Close to signing either Doug Flutie or Matt Dunigan, they seem on the verge of doing something. With the folding of the CFL’s American expansion, the talent pool for the Canadian teams has improved substantially. The Argos will pick up some decent defensive players, and with a good quarterback in place and a topquality coach, they may actually

SPORTS

29 incident and the AUAA is weighing their disciplinary options. Daviault, a former player, has been indefinitely suspended f‘or his conduct. Moncton could see its hockey team suspended. This type of bullshit must bc dealt with severely. The AtiAA and the CIAU need to send a mcssage that this kind of crap will not be tolerated at all. First of all, every player involved in the mugging should be suspended for life From the CIAU. They should actually be suspended for life from the game of hockey period, but it would bc difficult to do this. They should also be suspended from school for a nominal period of time, say half a year to a year, since the incident took place during a school related function. Daviauit should also get life in the, sin bin for his actions. The head coach should face the music also, since he failed to control his players, who he is ultimately responsible for. He should be fired and suspended for a year. Then there is the matter ofthe program itself. As far as 1‘m concerned, the University of Moncton hockey program should be sus-

nobody could imagine that it would have gotten out of hand. It started with goaltender Pierre Gagnon skating over to the ref, yelling at him. He then proceeded to put the referee in a headlock and push him into the boards. He was then joined by most of his teammates and assistant coach Patrick Daviauit, who proceeded to take turns punching the referee. Some idiot also speared him in the groin. Daviault then grabbed a metal mooring from the net and threw it through the glass protccting the goal judge. This kind of behaviour is simply atrocious. The players involved showed that they are nothing but a bunch of pathetic, moronic, brainless goons who couldn’t handle losing a close game. To assault a referee is bad enough, but for a whole team to gang up on a defenceless official is inexcusable. These players have no respect for the game of hockey whatsoever. There is now a criminal investigation being launched into the

challenge for the division. I owe the readers a bit of an apology. In my season-in-review, written under a pseudonym here in Imprint, I placed Portland’s Rod Strickland on my all-star team. All I have to say, in light of his recent suspension is, well, whoops. ,41though, the Jazz are looking good, and Sacramento continues to surprise. Nothing like an eleven game losing streak to surprise a team. Bill Alien, the other guy who started Microsoft, has apparently offered to purchase the NFL’s Seattle Seahawks and keep them in Seattle. 1 hope a deal can be worked out, because in my opinion, men like Ken Behring, current owner of the Seahawks don’t deserve to breathe, let alone own a team. My highest respect goes out to Joe Carter. He has assumed the role as public leader of the team, and plans to lead by example. What what makes Joe one of the truly greats in the sport and the city, was his comments to the press this week. He attacked players that only want to play for a contender. While he didn’t name Roberto Aiomar directly, the inference was quite obvious. While we may only see him here, or anywhere, for another year, I don’t think there’s anyone better to help teach the young players. If the Cito-bashers finally get their way, my vote goes to Joe to take over. He may not have the experience, but he loves the game and he knows what it takes to win - not only the talent, but the patience.

Athletes

of the Week

James Bromiiey Wurriur Curling

Suisun Fraud Athena Curling

A fourth-year Health Sciences student fiorn Kitchener, James skipped the Warrior curling team to a 5-O record and the OUAA crown this weekend in Toronto. Down 5-1 against Western with four ends to play, James engineered a remarkable comeback and led Waterloo to a final victory over Nipissing to clinch the title.

The Athena Curling team skip, Susan led UW to a perfect 5-O mark and the OWIAA title this weekend in Toronto. Needing game-saving double take-outs on thrco scparatc occasions (including a key doubleraise against Brock), Susan came through with the shots and otherwise delivere:d a high degree of shot-making throughout the event.

I Taste I I

pended for at least five years if not for life. If the NCAA can suspend its teams for a number of years for recruiting vilolations, then it is not a total stretch to kill a program for this kind of c:onduct. Assaulting an official, especially with a lynch mob, is the single most disgusting thing that can be done in sports. Is it not too much to ask for the punishment to fit the crirnc’! We can lonly hope that the re!‘eree involved is not turned off fro!:1 officiating because of this incident. Without officials, who knows what would happen to sports as we know them. It is because of this that the AUAA and CIAU must come down hard on the people responsible for this incident. If they don’t, people will figure that it’s OK to hit the ref if they make a bad call, because you won’t get punished too badly. Off? ciais everywhere would have to constantly be: wary of the possibility ofphysical harm coming to them just because they make a tough call. Who could concentrate on officiating, or even continue to do so, with the cons.tant fear that the next call that they make may he their last.

Like?

They’re Here.

. i 150 llmversity Ave : (at the corner of Phil& EXP. Mar. 8196 BI

i 1


@lJAA BASLETBALLRESULTS Brock 80 Windsor Cuelph 81 Laurier McMaster 102 Waterloo McMaster 100 Brock kindsor 97 Laurier Cuelph 89 Waterloo

Feb. :l

24

79 71 84 88 89 60

82 66

WESTDIVISION QUARTERFINALS Waterloo 67 Cuelph 55 Labehead at brock

Feb. 2;

BASkETBALL FINAL STANDINGS E45T GP W L F A Toronto 12 10 2 953 808 torh 12 9 3 982 835 Laurentian 12 9 3 1009 896 Ryerson 12 6 6 991 973 Carleton 1’ 3 9 741 918 Queen's 1; 3 9 819 981 Ottawa 12 2 10 886 970 kEST McMaster Western Cuelph Broth Lakehead Waterloo Windsor Lauri er

CP 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14

w 11 11 10 9 6 5 3 1

L 3 3 4 5 8 9 11 13

F 1166 1178 1013 1130 941 1088 1005 1110

TP 20 18 18 12 6 6 4

A 1019 1063 912 1093 1014 1169 1124 1237

TP 22 22 20 13 12 10 6 2

H0CKEVRESULTS Feb. 20

DIVISION SEMI FINALS (SUDDENDEATH)

FAR EAST MID EAST MID WEST FAR WEST

Ottawa Toronto Brock Windsor

5 S 4 5

McGill RMC York Western

3 2 3 OT 4 20T

DIVISION FINAIS (BEST OF THREE)

Feb. 22 24 25

FAR EAST Ottawa 5 LJQTR 6 UQTR 4 UQTR wins series

Feb, 22 24 26

MID EAST Cuelph Toronto Guelph Guelph wins

Feb. 22 24

MID WEST Laurentian Laurentian laurentian

Feb, 22 24

FAR WEST Waterloo 6 Windsor Waterloo 4 Windsor Waterloo wins series 2-O

Feb. 24

.;

.k .>

WR Ottawa Ottawa 2-I

6 Toronto 3 Cue1ph 5 Toronto series 2-1

8 Brock 5 Brock wins series 2-O

VOLLEYBALL OUAA FINAL Toronto 3 Western (U-15, 15-11, 15-13, 17-H)

1 4 3 2OT

2

0 OT 3

4

2

4 1

1

FINAL WEST FG David Picton/Bro 119 Titus Charmer/Mac 131 Matt McMillan/Win 108 Craig Law/Lake 99 Mike Lynch/West 82

214.0

Guelph

182.0

FCA 39s

250

FT

FTA

88 36

109 53 74 65 42

210

60

211 168

47 33

TOP REBOUNDERS FINAL EAST CP OR DR John Poulimenosflork 12 Sl 87 Jason Dressler/Tor 12 38 80 Cory Bailey/Lauren 12 53 60 Carl Harper/Ryer 12 43 63 Byron Nugent/York 10 33 54 FINAL WEST Geoff Stead/Windsor Ryan Fabi/Brock A. Scharschmidt/Laur Keegan Johnson/Mac Kareem Rodr iquez/Lake

PLAYER Matt Mu1lin Ryan Spring J.P. lemelin Joe Harris Sean Spencer J .F. Rivard

AVC

20.3 19.6 18.4

17.1 16.0 AVG

27.2 22.9 20.4 17.6 16.6

TR AVG 138 11.5

118

9,8

113 106

9.4 8.8

87

8.7

TR

AVC

GP

OR

DR

14 14

60 49 33

94 154 11.0 92 141 10. I 80 113 8.1

37

56

93

7.2

36

58

94

6,7

14 13 14

PLAYOFF HOCKEYSCORINGLEADERS PLAYER TEAM CP G A David Craff Laurentian 2 2 4 Greg Eisler Ottawa 4 4 2 Simon Ferrand Ottawa 4 4 2 Kylie Hill Laurentian 2 4 1 Jeff Goldie Waterloo 2 2 3 Jamie Co1den Brock 3 1 4 David Andre Ottawa 4 2 3 Manuel Caudreau Ottawa 4 2 3 Sheldon Gilchrist Waterloo 2 3 1 Kevin MacKay Laurentian 2 3 1 Duane Lewis Laurentian 2 2 2 Brad Babcr Laurentian 2 4 lamie Coon Toronto 3 2 2 Jean Roberge UQTR 3 2 2 Dan Bellissimo Toronto 3 1 3 J.M, Morin Ottawa 4 1 3 Chris Coveny Ottawa 4 4 LEADING CQALTENDERS TEAM CP MIN GA Cuelph 2 134:17 3 Toronto 1 74:17 2 UQTR 1 86:34 3 Water700 2 120:00 5 Lauren. 2 120:00 6 Ottawa 4 265:48 14

6

5

1. 2. 3.

4. 5. 6. 7.

8. 9.

10.

4

4 4 4

AVG

1.34 1.62 2.08 2.50

3400 3.16

UQTR PATRIOTES (1) Acadia Axemen (2) WATERLOOWARRIORS(3) Calgary Dinosaurs (5) Regina Cougars (NR) LAURENTIANVOYAGEURS(10) Alberta Golden Bears (4) UPEI Panthers (NR) Manitoba Sisons (6) GUELPHGRYPHONS(FIR)

THfS WEEK IN THE WAA BASKETBALL

Mar.

1 2

Mar.

3

WESTDIVISION FfNAL HKlR at Copps Coliseum, Hadton Waterloo vs Western ,6:00 pm Lakehead vs Ndaster 8:OO pm Championship game 3:oo pm

McHaster Toronto

Mar.

EAST DIVISION FINAL Lauren. at Toronto

1

& 2

TRACKAND FIELD OUAA FINALS at York

Cold Bronze

400m freestyle Cold loanne Malar Silver Michelle Killins

McMaster Toronto

70 68

800m freestyle Silver Peg Corkum Bronze Michelle Killins

Toronto Toronto

730T

5On breaststroke Bronze Carolyn

64 620T

64 43 61

70

Gilbert

Laurier

2OOtnbreaststroke Bronze Carolyn Gilbert

Laurier

200111backstroke Cold Joanne Malar

McMaster

200111individual medley Cold Joanne Malar

McMaster

70

BOOmfreestyle relay Bronze U. of Toronto

THIS WEEKIN THE OWIAA

Mar. 1 Mar. 2

TRACKAND FIELD Championship at York at Metro Track t Field

S:OO p.m. I:00 p.m.

CURLING OWIAA Championship Bonspiel at East York Curling Club Feb. 24 & 25 6:30 a.m. VOLLEYBALL CIAU Championship at University Feb. 29 - Rar. 2

of Toronto

INIXMR HOCKEY Mar. 2 & 3 at York University

3:oo pm

HOCKEY OUAACHAMPIONSHIP- QUEEN'S CUP at Waterloo Recreation Complex 2 UQTR vs Guelph 2:00 pm Waterloo vs laurentian 7:oo pm 3 Championship game 2:oo pm

4 4 4

4

Joanne Malar Michelle Killins,

57

SWIMMINGRESULTS CIAU Championship at Cuelph final Team Standings: 1. UBC Thunderbirds 2. Calgary Dinosaurs 3. Toronto Varsity Blues 4. Victoria Vikings 5. McGill Martletts

Mar.

events:

2OOm freestyle

CURLING RESULTS OWIAA Championship at East York Curling Club, Toronto Go1d Waterloo S-O Silver Queen's 4-l Bronze Broc k 3-2 4th Nipissing 2-3 5th RMC l-4 6th Western D-5

6 5 5 5 5 4

Individual

BASKETBALLRESULTS 0wIA.A Championships Feb. 23 First round: McMaster 70 Laurentian Western 71 Queen's York 72 Lakehead Toronto 83 Laurier Feb. 24 Semi-final round: Laurentian 45 Queen's Lakehead 72 Laurier Western 80 McMaster Toronto 84 York Feb. 25 Medal Round: Consolation game: Laurentian 76 Lakehead Bronze medal: HcMaster 77 York Gold medal: Toronto 92 Western Spalding Tournament All-stars: Elizabeth Hart, Toronto Karen Jackson, York Angela Nobes, Western Allison Smith, Lakehead Shelley Vanderbeld, HcMaster MVP: Justine Ellison, Toronto

TP 6

CIAU HOCKEYTOP TEN (OUAA teams capitalized; previous ranking in parentheses)

O-S

SWIMIffi CIAU CWP1ONSHIPS University of Guelph, February 23rd - 25th TEAM Pm-rs Calgary 427.0 414,o UBC Alberta 390.0 NcMaster 332.2 Toronto 311.0 Lava1 268.0

Toronto McMaster Western Toronto Toronto

BASKETBALLLEADING SCORERS FINAL EAST FG FCA FI FTA Cory Ba-iley/Ltn 89 201 52 78 Carl Swantee/Tor 86 176 36 49 Nathan Aryevflork 77 174 41 49 Byron Nugent/York 62 110 46 69 Scott Belasco/Rye 83 178 26 45

NOTE: Places 2, 3 and 4 marked by an * were decided in a shootout.

ncci 11

McMaster Marauders Manitoba Bisons Lava1 Rouge et Or Wilfrid taurier Golden Hawks 10. Lethbridge Pronghorns

COLD MEDALISTS 200 IM Trevor Cillis 200 M FREESTYLE Jeremy Sparrow 50 M BACKSTROKE Cer ry- Parenti 50 M FREESTYLE Steve Georgiev 200 M BUTTERFLY Rob Sampson

CURLING OUAA CHAMPIONSHIPS East York Curling Club, Toronto February 24th & 25th TEAM W-L Waterloo 5-o McMaster 3-2 Western 3-2 Lautier 3-2 Nipissing 1-4

RMC

6. 7. 8. 9.

INDMDUAl

EAST DIVISION SEMI FINALS Toronto 102 Ryerson Laurentian 76 Yorh

Feb, 24 2s

170.0 129.0 124.5 116.0 70.0 s5.0 50.0 42.0 20.0 18.0 7.0

Laurentian Western Montreal UNB Victoria Lethbridge Sherbrooke Brock Waterloo Ryerson Laurier

5:OO pm

l:oo pa

VOLLEYBALL CIAU CHAMPIOEJSHIPS University of Calgary - March 1st to 3rd Friday, March 1st Alberta (1) vs Dal housie (8) 3:00 pm UNB (4) vs Toronto (5) 5:OO pm Lava1 (23 vs Western (7) Ii:00 pm Manitoba (3) vs Calgary 1O:OO pm Saturday, March 2nd Consolation Semi Finals 3:00 pm & 5:OO pm Championship Semi Finalls 8~00 pm 6 1O:OO pm Sunday, March 3rd Sth Place Catie l:oo pm Bronze Medal Came 390 pm Cold Medal Came 7:OO pm (TSN) NOTE: All times are EST.

(6)

Last Chance for University Cup

.

tickets! I know the Maple Leafs are playing liike shit, but it’s no reason not to compile an All-Worst Leaf team from today back to the early eighties. In fact, the present state of affairs makes it even more desirable to bash those Leafs that made you want to bum your jersey with ‘Sittler-27’ on the back in shame. Don’t forget to incllude Worst Coach (the best bet rhymes with 7rophy!“) and you could go to Toronto’s Varsity Stadium to check out the CIAU’s premier hockey action. Deliver you team to us at IMPRINT (SLC 11161 or contact Ron H&don at rcfhebdoGBartsU2


Rubber by Heidi Man special to Imprint

I

n what other club can you fling rubber chickens into the air, swing hula hoops around your neck, or balance unicycles on your face without the nearest onlooker hastily dialing Campus Security? That’s the answer I got when I asked Michael Crawford why the Juggling Club is the best Campus Kec club out there If‘you’re into rubber chickens, you may want to check out the Fourth Annual Juggling Festival at the Student Life Centre on Saturday, March 9 frrjm 10 a.m.- 10 p.m. The festival will end with a public show featuring performers who attend. However, there will bc a lot going on all day. Crawford says, “The festival attractsa tot ofjugglcrs from Soufhem Ontario and even Upper New York State. Many ofthescjugglers arc extremely talented. In the past, we have had jugglers such as Greg Tarlin and “Indiana Bob” C&es,

and Unicycles

Chickens

not to mention Steve “I usually juggle for endurante with my shirt off’ Holditch, who are among Canada’s top jugglers. It is a social event as delega-

-

ional

tricks.”

-.l‘he Juggtmg .

festival terested to buy such as Canadian

-a also provides inpeopIe a chance tl props. Vendors Darren Bedford and True Balls set up booths to sell

can tempt you with just about any r juggling 0-r unicycling re1 object you can imagine. What a great - opportu-lity to stock _ _ up_ . on _ those rubber chickens! And if you’ve never juggled before, the UW Juggling Club will be demonstrating some popular tricks. - The club meets Mondays 5:457: 15 pm in the Blue Activity Area of the PAC. There are about 25

members; 10 have previous experience, and the rest are first-timers. People can always join the club for $10 by attending a regular meeting. For information, check out the club’s website at http:// mercator.uwaterloo.ca/-mgacrawE/ juggle/juggle.htmI or call Michael Crawford at UW x6604. You can also e-mail him at mgacrawf@jeeves or e-mai Sternberg at Marcus mstemberg@eworld.com. Still wondering whether you should join? Well, here are some anecdotes that may prompt you to hang out with this crazy bunchthey go on cool road trips! On a road trip to the 6th Annual Last Ever Bloomington Juggle fest in Bloomington, Indiana, the jugglers drove through IO hours of pouring rain to attend the weekend festival. Crawford said they “had the time of ourjuggling lives.” During the cramped ride down, Steve Holditch observed that “things don’t get much better than this.” At the festival, Steve lived up

to this comment by juggling five balls in an endurance run for 34 minutes. The world record is 38 minutes. During a road trip to McMaster, competition with the McMaster club revealed Toby Donaldson as the indomitable juggling combat expert, whether he won his games or not.

One time, Dan Truesdale brought a straightjacket to the club and people lined up to be tied in it. Jason AIleman decided to wear it while riding a unicycle and on his second attempt he managed to free hirnsclfto tumultuous applause. He had only fallen and bruised himself once. If these experiences sound 1i ke a blast, then consider joining the Juggling Club. If watching expert jugglers dazzle an audience with tricks sounds appealing, then check out the Juggling Festival on March 9. And if’rubbcr chickens turn you on, then attend a juggling meeting any Monday at the PAC. You’ll be glad you did!

March 1996 Camws Recreation Events

Ice Hockey Standings by Heidi Marr special to Imprint

H

ere’s the low-down on the Ice Hockey League-prior Week, Conto Reading venor Cam Gillespie gave me the scoop. Combined, there are a total of 44 teams: 17 in League A, 20 in League B, and 7 in the C League. In League Al, Charlestown Chiefs have three wins and six points, followed by Bandits with two wins and four points. League A2 sees a three-way tie. The Wingmen, Ice-0-Topes, and Fleyers at1 have two wins giving them four points each. The Frost arc leading League BI so f&r with three wins and six points. In League B2, The Flying Hammers and Individual Team 2 both have three wins and six points. All seven teams in League B3 have a chance at the top as no team has more than one win so far. Points, however, range between 0 and 3. Come on League B3ers! ,4nd in the C League, we see a tie between the Bailey Bunch and Bulls, Both teams have two wins and four points. See this Campus Ret page weekly for details on alf the competitive CR leagues.

Wheelchair Fled Cross Aid Retart

First

9-5

fit For Heart

tilnic Q-l 2 pod

Wat Tennis

Club

.


What by Sean Imprint

a Ride with a new song, leaving promise of new recordings presently in the works. Continuing on with crowd favourites from both of their albums, Mystery Machincdidn’t miss a beat. After racing through “Mouser,““JustA Sec”and”Shaky Ground,” lead singer and guitarist Luke Rogalsky was able to catch his breath during “Ride,” an arnazing instrumental that hamesses the collectivestage presence ofthc band and blows it up in your- face. The band continued to plow ahcad with unrestrained momentum, pausing only to Inoum the untimely death

Elder staff

M

ystcry Machine area band possessed. Witnessing their Iivc spectacle handily cawxs one to forget any bands or artists previously cherished and to live in a world dominated by the crashing, melodic ways of their sound. Hy the end of their set , Ibd forgotton the names of the: openers. Presently on a tout through the

of bassist Shane Ward’s newly rented bass, and to reflect on the differences between Canada and

United States supporting Local. H and Salt, Mystery Machine got the chance to headline the second and iast Canadian show on the tour and

make the home crowd proud. Judging by the number of music fans who weren’t allowed into the overstuffed club by the end of the night, I’d say it’s about time to play an allCanadian tour to make the home crowd proud. First up was Chicago’s Local H, a duo that rocks harder than duos should. Guitarist and vocalist Scott thrashes away on his modified guitar that uses a combination of bass and guitar components through a few different stacks of amplifiers to create a sound that is

very, very loud. ‘Together with his drummer’s frenetic beats, Local H couldn’t help but turn heads at the Horseshoe. Salt, the three piece act from Stockholm, Sweden who are headlining the rest of the tour dates,

murder Scratching Post, The New Grand, Smoother, Hip Club Groove, Len, and Radioblaster Lee :Y PcrilwL~ Saturday February 24 by Patrick Wilkins Imprint staff 3.w PM een sitting in Let’s Palace for an hour. The incredible Lee Maslin from Squirtgun Records is on my left, selling a whole lot of CDs and 7” singles to a whole lot of (mostly underage) boys and girls. lt’s a hell ofa lineup this afternoon. Radioblaster, Smoother. The New Grand, Hip Club Groove, Len, and Scratching Post: some of Canada‘s best independent musicians, from Southern Ontario and a couple of the more infamous points eastward.

B

3.25 PM

The bassist from Scratching Post walks onstage, dressed like an extra from the Flintstones. Underagers

rise

like

mushrooms

after a rainstorm. Fortunately, 1 can see over their heads. The room is rank with smoke. Half of these kids aren’t evenoid enough to babysit yet. How can they afford to fill their lungs with that shit? 3:30 PM Nicoie corn Scratching Post announces their first song, “Master

the United States (here, they’ve we have “good beer” and “doors on the bathroom stalls.“) Rocking forward with guitarist Bean and drummer Jordan Pratt, the band hit hardest with their iast song, “Stain Master,” which easily fell into a wave of feedback and flying guitars and equipment. Proving once again that they are quite easily the tightest, most incredibly intense young band to tour Canada OR the United States in quite a while, Mystery Machine left us as quickly as they came. Be forewarned, though, Mystery Machine will return, and you will not want to miss them when they do.

found,

of Action,”

bv from

the forthcoming

CD. It is a brief yet very loud sang, and the crowd erupts into a frcnzicd mosh pit. Nicole seems far too cute to be at the fore of such a sonic assault. Not merely physically; without her vocals Scratching Post might pass for just another heavy metal band. lmvine Juliana Hat&lcI f&Zing Metallica. Red light shines from above, lending a particulary succubial tinge to her soft features. The bassist puts something in his mouth, lights it, and blows a fireball. Scratching Post rock. With their insane stage prcscncc, crunching meta bass lines, andNicole’s not quitocontradictory

took a few songs to grow on the crowd, but after this hesitation, all present appreciated vocalist Nina’s crunchy guitar paired with Daniel’s amazing bass antics and the fact that they came all the way from Sweden.

vocals, they will

unvon including excellent versions of “Ranner Year,” “Bailey,” and “Ready, Steady, Go.”

ing clearly,

breath left! Suddenly Smoother break into a cover of Madonna’s “Material GirI,“and I can almost forgive then]. 5.31 PM Rap has always djstinrtlv

1

them.

fo1 Club Groove play, I can see why. They, like most rap musicians, are nothing more than arrogant poseurs. Henry Rollins once said that a classical orchestra is nothing more than a cover band. By the same token Hip Club Groove are nothing more than a karaoke duo with a record-scratcher in the background. A freestyle rapabout chickens and dildos is impressive enough, but for most songs their lyrics are virtually unintelligible, making the band nothing more than a glorified beat machine. They should, however, be commended for their attempt at conquering virtually uncharted CanCon country.

Smoother assume the stage. I’ve heard a lot about these guys, but they don’t impress me. Just today, I’ve heard better heavy stuff from Scratching Post and better melody from The New Grand. Overkill so soon? There are three bands

Hip-I!@ isn’t bad. Perhaps some bands just aren’t meant to perform live. 6:OO PM Len, like Eric’s Trip, are a band whose live performance differs substantially from their recorded work. For one thing, both

I

be my fabourite part of the show. #A5 PM Mike Clive shines rcLen splendent in a scarlet garmerit, bass in hand, in the midst of London’s The New Grand. TNG are masters oft he three minute heavy pop song. The sound isn’t as good as the other shows I’ve seen; perhaps the sound board is now locked into Scratching Post sonic assault mode. By the end of their set, however, the melodies are com-

As midnight rolled around, so did Chilliwack’s Mystery Machine. Mystery Machine’s grinding, pounding rock hit it home from the first notes of their opening song to their last ounce of feedback as thoy left the stage. The band opened

l

even

fistfights

can’t

stop

Their 4:45 PM

album

Trailer

Pa&

groups

arc much louder in person. An awosomc noisy ins:frunxntai from the band, fkaturing fccdbrl& mixed wi1.h subtle background sounds. The show is stopped by a failed guitau-. The rest ofLen nevertheless till in with the aw~me ** “Wiggle,” and a bril“Candypop, liant cover of the Ramones “Btxt on the Brat,” complete with NW Yawk acclcnt. But what Len ~41 most be remembered for is the violent onstage confrontation betweon Sharon and an apparent assholt: named Di Piotro. The temporary loss of their guitarist has shaken them, and with the added stress of anear-fistlight on the stageof Lee’s, they aren’t as together as they could be. It hasn’t provided much for the fans, either, besides a spectacle and a mystery. 6130 PM

Radioblaster. Think East Coast pop. Think good. What else can one say about Radioblaster? They’re East Coa:st pop. They’re good. If you like East Coast pop, you will like Radioblaster. lfyou like Thrush Hermit,

from whom they have taken

their name, you will like Radioblaster. If you don’t like East Coast pop, then you probably wouldn’t have been at the Lee’s show. On the other hand, if you didn’t like East Coast pop before, maybe this would have been the show to convince you..,


Friday, March 1, 1996

IMPRINT, --~~----.

-_

_- ---I

.___. --.. --- - -

- ^

ARTS

33

~--

No Lyon Around

America’s

favorite

houseguest,

Shannon Lyon Pop Explosion CD Release Party w/The Road Pouts k7kYlno Thursday February 22 by Patrick Wilkins Imprint staff

T

he Road Poets opened the Shannon Lyon Pop Explosion CD release party. 1

Kato

Kaelin.

in a stunningly bright orange tshirt which clashed with the dull background of the Volcano stage. Like the colour scheme, Lyon’s set was a study in contrasts. He warmed up with some solo acoustic songs, starting with Bt$ firlo White’s “OK Guy,” and moving through a couple more, both new and old. But Lyon had new tricks up his tcchnicolour sleeve, and the traditional acoustic set was over quickly. To ease the audience into the main attraction, he brought out Steve Strongman, who accompanied him on Bu#~tilo White Sttxe played hJckup and rhythm acoustic gurtar and sang harmony fbrRr~fEr/o CUlit~ songs including“1 Think 1 Lost My l’vlind” and the plaintive ‘&Up and Gone.” Not quite ~010, certainly nothing like the plugged-in hzavyfest to follow, Steve’s duets with Shannon were fm- tc>o few. Besides having the gift of music himself, Lynn also has theability of picking equally as talented friends.

:herealm ofindict hard-rock htaro. i’hose FdmiIiar with his prcvims work may be surprised by ; he new direction in Lyon’s I11usic.. After an old song (7 Wanna He The Same as Me,“) and a new 1 ;JIC (not on kfds bhk buttc1 bz released on thencj.lat album, cornmg this summer), Lyon abandoned his acoustic instrument for an electric. Lyon’s new sound is best likened to that ofa composite Sonic Unyon band. He occasionally displays the noisy discordance of the Kittens with more coherent lyrics. His fuzz guitar would be at home on Poledo’s stage, and the riffs that it emits would make treble charger proud. The show overall, with the move from solo to duo to full band, reminded me of Hayden’s recent plugged-in set at the Bathurst Street Theatre. We rocked out a few originally acoustic songs, including ���Monumental Disaster” from the Swallow Records 7”, and a second version of “OK Guy.” In one way, the reworking of “OK Guy” lost something lyrically -- the song is about an isolated person and comes across best as a solo recital. Some of the acoustic’s vocal lines were omitted as weI1. On the other hand, who cares about lyrics when you’re in the middle of an enthusiastic itnd sweaty crowd? Lyon tried to get oft’ the stage with a feedback-drenched outro, but failed. The crowd called the band for twu encores and half a dozen more sungs, each louder and more energetic than before, including the title track fromhI& Rlrle and a M ild ~OV<I’ of the Flaming Lips’ “Vaseline” that moulded perfectly with the rest of* the set. Only the Ontario liquor laws cc~ulcl remove the Shannon Llron Pop Explosion from the stage.

Where you been blikc

by Sean Imprint

.Johnsun

Elder staff

ikc Johnson is an arnazing musician. White almost any member of a successful band could pack clubs with a solo acoustic show, few would be able to keep their audience as rivetted to their music as Johnson did on Monday night. Playing to a crowd of less than 50 people, the b;lssist oflongtime noise ‘J

M

sulf in a coruplctely di ff~rcr~t I@& Accompanied by hi> friend I>avid Krueger, whose vioh fit into the sounds of the evening perfectly, Johnson hit the stage timidly. Constantly putting himself down with comments such as “I don’t know what you were expecting” and “sorry folks, I tried,” he seemed oblivious to the fact that his audience was frozen in ;-1we of the beautiful music that he and Krueger had played. Starting the evening with a Lee Hazlewood cover, Johnson set the mood for his tributes to the Smiths and his hero, Charlie Rich, which followed later in the set. Johnson and Krueger have orches-

stirring “Separation” helped to lead up to more fjerce (that’s acoustic guitar and violin-style fierce) numbers such as “Say it’s so,“one of the only new songs of the show. Johnson’s own deep voice was instrumental throughout the evening, whether or not he was using it to sing. Combined with his guitar and Krueger’s groaning \ iolin, his voice lent itself to a musical masterpiece that is its own copyright. Between songs, Johnson found the time to bitch and complain about his performance and the ever-growing presence of feedback. “Sorry we’re acting like bitches up here, we’re just feeling a little tempermental today” and

’ ’ I%e Psychokillerjuilbait-biker-co wboybluxploitution-vampire flick of 1996.

SATURDAY NIGHT INMARCH!! -.--_...-. --_.* .--~-EVERY 1in Student Life Centre

1

Entertainment

[LISiitNGS '.,:._.:: ....:, ..:qg;&&~ ._ :.._. '.. . . _.,,. 41,(j&j; " _., ':.i:..:_ : ,; ig; ., ,F.i, ::: _,Y . .. ,..' ..,... .H;h&*g .' ,: :.'. ,':.: ".'. 6z-i \8:00 pm)

with guest-Tom

Wilson (junkhouse)

THE TEA PARTY

FEDHALL

tEAlHER with guest-Paul

THE TEST

NOVA McLeo

f OliWtXE7

ICICLES

and much much more to come! *tickets available at ‘ed Office and HMVWaterloo*

Ij ‘L., ~.L.

all shows

produced by Bent & the Federation of Students


34

ARTS

-

IMPRINT,

Friday, March --

1, 1996

Seattle Do Nicelv by Bat Imprint

long run, ptrt~plr: tend t1-Fjust groove in the cncrgy of‘ physical !novtzment for a momenl as they catch their bwlth. When fimjily or l~crs join hands, they tend to feel a sort of flow of love through this connection, and&H groove with it The Dances of lb- a moment. Universal P~2ace unite these feelings and encrgres to bring an overall joyous and high experience. The dances are very simple.‘l‘here are no performers or audience, everybody is part of the experience, and almost everybody feels the high. A group of new and experienced people will form a circle, usually joining hands, and step to the rhythm of some sacred chant or song which they sing together, together with people all over the world. The words sung are taken

he much larger. Hopefully there will also be reps from many of the ethnic and religious clubs in the university and the Sacred Dance group of Waterloo at the workshops. All are welcome to come to either or both workshops. No prior experience in meditation, dancing, or singing is necessary, only a desire to experience with an open heart. Donations will be accepted. NW-e is mflw &I attend. For more information, contact myself, who will be leading the workshop, through e-mail at: anmanois@sciborg.uwaterloo.ca, by phone at884-0127, oron the Net at: http://sciborg.uwaterloo.ca/ -anmanols/dances.html/

MerIihaa staff

This is the Seattle story, and I’m prone to believe every word because this in-depth reseach essay about the real Seattle music scene is litcraily a history textbook about the scene. Humphrey comments on the opinions of what’s already been wrirten, but f~~w~*‘s purpcrse is to provide the historical facts and link chose to the fiction ofwhat the world thinks the Seattle music scene is, Because the essay is so well written: researched, and expressed Luser~ls definitely worthwhile reading and keeping for reference if you’ve been at all influenced by Seattle music. Don’t let the backlash of a mainstream Seattle scare you away from getting a good historical perspective of what was really going on in Seattle, how it really started, and who the real master of puppets were behind the success. If anything,loseu successfully debunks the false notions that have been universally accepted, and puts the anger of Seattlites into perspective. Loser starts right at the beginning, and I’m not talking about I99 1. He warms up with some prehistory starting at 1850 so you get an idea of the evolution of Seattle; its politics, geography, and climate which all directly influence the

Kurt

and Krist

- fingers

an the pulse

music being produced. For tht: most part Seattle has been living in the shadows of America, which really reflect in the people, the politics, and of course, the music. You can’t ignore Cobain in a book about Seattle music, it would be like leaving out Elvis or the Beatles in a book on the history of rock ‘n’ roll. However, Humphrey tastefully reports about preNirvanamania, Nirvanamania, and Kurt R.I.P. without the sizzling glamour that’s been done by every daily newspaper, rock mag, and radio station in the free world. Don’t be mistaken though. This is not a book about Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden. In fact, these band’s early influences make more of a dent in the book than the later part of when punk broke in ‘91. This is by far the best book that I’ve come across on a true testament of the Seattle music scene and

ofa

nation?

‘The graphics are another aspect ofthe book that saysa lot about the music scene itself: The mtire book is dono with the quality of ;i photocopier and cut-and-paste which has its own personal affect of grit and uncorporate attitude which is really a sWtcment of the music. LOW- is the most informative source on Seattle music that you’re going to find anywhere. It is a complete story that starts at the very begin+ connects every aspect of media, politics, personahties, and major events that somehow affected and promoted Seattle music, and more importantly Humphrey does a set-vice to Seattle by telling the real story.

Not Remotely Interesting Remote

b-y David Shields Knopf 206 pages, $3 1.OO by Pat Pmprint

pparently, David Shields has heard of Douglas .Coupland. The misguided Gen X’ers thar Coupland defined is painfully characterized through ‘shields, the writer, the screenw I*iter, the kid with lots of zits, ancl the person that likes doing nothing else better than talking abour himself. Rcntote.on the surface, Igoks like it could he :rn interesting read Gth promises of oodles ~fpq A_ a.: >

A UY

q

SELL

111TRADE

Merlihan staff

ture, insider tales of the famous, and the self-critical woes of one David Shields. Unfortunately, the judging a book by its cover premise is soooo right. The treachery of reading this book is like watching nine hours ofbad commercials without the luxury of a “clicker” to change the channel. The remote control concept pretty much hammers you over the head throughout the entire book. Deconstructed stories that fragment, with little connection to each other except that their Shields’ stories/experienceslmonologues/rambiings that have little or no effect on mc as a reader. Shields is obviwsh w a man of his times. In utie chapter he successf~dly managed to

name every :;ingle bumper sticker he had ever seen. Boy, I can’t even begin to tell you how exciting that one was. On a smaller scale than Patrick Baternan’s character in Bret Easton Elis’:s Amcr-icuri P~J&I, Shields analyses to death the lives of two-bit actors, and every movie and character they’d done. Yawn! Perhaps I’m a tad harsh on Shields for his unenlightening tidbits uf trivia, gossip, and somewhat “document” of the nineties. For this is the a\.ant-garde of COIItcmporaiy writing, and perhaps I just don’t get it, I lis antidrjtc about his fetish f‘or ~omun who uc’;~r glasses co~d,J be il statement tc, pindcr c.x- argue, but lik4z 11k~st ~lf’w1Iat he says...why cvcn buttw’.’


A

S

by Andrew Henderson Imprint staff 11’pool is your game, but you don’t have the cm-gy to stand and hang on to a 18 ounce cut:, than this game is the diversion for you. Aside from offering various games of pool, this C“II ROM dso contains a video history of the game, rules ot‘each game, and highlights ot‘ many trick shots. All things considered, this is an entertaining game. The graphics are decent, especially in the video sequt’nct’s, but the corny, doo-doodoe, throwback to Ms. Pat-Man music really irritated me. ‘T-he rules are Drettv straight forward for those \ played pool before, and the keys are easily remembered for shoot, M for Move). When playing Virtu Pool, you may play head to hex1 with a friend, or challenge one of the many computer players. Each computer foe has ZI man i ker that describes theirplayingnbility tohelp determine the proper opponent. For instxxe, ifyou’r playing your first game, you should probably select Mrs. Of’-

by James Russell Imprint staff Ah, sweet Capitalism, how do 1 love thec....Any way, before I get all starry-eyed o\er the idea of making huge amounts of monq, wielding immense power, exploiting the masses, etc., etc., 1 will talk about the game for a bit. It’s good. There are seven tutorials to start off’the game, each one incorporating all the inii>rmation learned so far. They are very thorough, but you will probably have to do each one at least twice. The sheer volume of information to be absorbed is enormous. The first one starts you off building and running a department store. The next teaches you how to analyze the market, You can see how much of the market share you’ve got as well as find out which of your competitors is sellingwhat, and at what price. After that, you learn to farm, so you can produce products to sell to your stores, then successfully advertise your produots, then how to do research and development, then produce raw materials (timber, mining and oil} that your factories will turn into products that your stores will sell, and finally, you learn how to pIay the stock market to ensure that your corporation comes out on top. Like I said: u 102 of’infurmation. There are a total of 4 1 different products you can eventually produce! But it is not easy. To make cars, you will need tires, car bodies and engines, and the car bodies alone require you to have a supply of glass (which

_-rN ten, Get it, huh? Or maybe Troy Zinvane. Good one, eh? While p!aying, each competitor is able to view the table from a variety of angles ranging from a overhead picture to a look from underneath the table (for whatever reason). There are many options which make the CD ROM as realistic as possible. You can raise the butt, move the impact point, make combo shots and even, with a good technique, masse shots, something that 1 personally have trouble doing in real life made easy by virtual life. Never one for the one-on-one, fight until the other guy mashed into a bloody pulp, use your finishing manoeuvre to rip his spinal cord out of his bodv

venting of one’s sick and violent fantasies.

needs to be made out of silica), plastic (which is made from oi1) and steel, which will have to be mined. If you really want to make a complctc financial empire, be prepared to spend some serious time. Unfortunately, this game really is only for the serious players. Even with the difficulty set to IO% (the lowest 1 could get it, by severely limiting the number of competitors I had, giving them virtually no money and making them total fucking idiots) it is still a tough job. There are just so many things to worry about. It is almost too damn realistic. Let me explain. Products receive an overall rating based on price, quality, and brand (which is like name-recognition). Price is based on what the seller wants, plus freight which increases with distance from the supplier of course. Quality depends &I the quality of the raw materials that went into the product, but can be increased through R&D (which can be done over periods from 6 months to 10 years). And brand depends on advertising, but products can : be marketed alone or under the corporate banner. If the public generally likes your company, using its name to boost the brand rating of new products can be a good idea, but it works both ways. If some of your products aren’t very competitive, people will be inclined to stay away from ~22 of your products. As a strategy game, it is excellent. It feels good to see the demand for your products increasing, and nothing beats seeing your annual profit display skyrocket when you do something right. It de& nitely has long-term playability, and you can manipulate dozens of variables to make the scenario as complicated or simple as you like. The only potential drawback is the initial complexity, but once you overcome this, you are in for a good time.

r3 m

by James Castle Imprint staff While I consider myself a passing fan of baseball and hockey, the appeal of football always eluded me. The constant starts and stop as well as the asinine jingoism of “real” fans ensured my avoidance of the sport. My first contact with the game came via Nintendo’s A’FL ‘95; once 1 became more familiar with the basic rules, 1 almost couldn’t wait to see the real thing. I randomly picked a team and for the first time in my life, actually cared when football season began. It just so happened that I picked the Pittsburgh Steelers, blissfulIy unaware of that team’s history, and certainly never expecting them to make it all the way to the Superbowl. Their loss was unfortunate, but deserved. Goddamn you O’Donnell for throwing those two passes away. The strange thing about that game, of course, was that until that game, O’Donnell lead the NFL as the quarterback with the least interceptions. One wonders if Dallas’ offense would have still managed to score the necessary points had they not had a helping hand from. . . But I digress. NFL ‘95, despite its appeal, was a relatively easy game to master. After trying out

various plays, it was simple to i>nd “the magic play” --- the one with a 75% completion rate. When I finall:y beat the computer 86-7 in a twenty-minute game (the shortest of the three options.) 1 quit playing. . .pretty much. The new Scion SW&W NFL Fmtbull (despite its wretched, wretched title) is certainly an improvement on the previous version. For starters, it’s a damn sight f’aster. This simple improvement already enhances the game’s fim quotient (FQ) by a factor of ten. The now-leaden movements ofNFL ‘95 will be impossible to return to after sampling this version. Of course, all of the plays are different, so the search for the magic play ensues anew. I must admit, that my brief’ excursion into this game fiilcd to unearth such a play. This doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist, but it’s nice to think that the team that developed this new version actually bothered to make it challenging past the firr;t ten minutes. The final improvement is the ability to choose a position, and not have to select it again and again at the beginning of every play. If you choose to be the free safety at the beginning of a play, if you choose the same defense, you automatically control the freesafety at the beginning of the next play cool! Alas and alack, I have so few friends that I could anly play the computer, and thus I can’t report on the head-to-head option.


Nettwerk Error by Greg

Kdchick

Imprint staff

Whether you’re a fan of the music or not, or whether you subscribe tu the slightly self-righteous claims of its owners, it’s undeniable that Nettwerk Records has dune an admirable job of making themselves known both in Canada and the rest ofthe world. Sure they may have started out as being w-y derivative stylistically of lab& like 4AD and Factory, but since then they’ve built a more than rcspectible stable of aOists, and can claim to have a seven-digit income annually. It’s been nothing but up and up hm the day the iong-sincefaded Moev invented a way to reIcase their first single independcntfy, and the main reason lies in

their far-rsaching

vision.

Not con-

tent with Canadian only diskbution, from the beginning Nettwerk have placed heavy emphasis on markets abroad, both in the States and in Europe which is truly a

Speaking of which, the multimedia tracks QIY quite impressive, numbering five in at1 spread over the five discs, There are extensive bias and info on all of the bands included on the cump, interviews with label head Terry McBride, a full performance of “Girl From lpanema” by Sarah Mctachlan and Tom I-looper, updates about every band that ever recorded for Nettwerk, clips of artist videos and interviews, and the proverbial much, much more. N’s really quite impressive, making for literally hours of browsing. The only unreleased material

by Greg

Picken

Imprint staff Every few years, the jolly old English unleash upon the world a semi-talented musician with a successful song or two, then fades into obscurity. Look at Right Said Fred, Wang Chung and that other guy from Wham. The latest in this long line is the Mike Flowers Pops. By now, I think even the indig-

enous peoples of Africa have heard “Wonderwall” by Oasis. After all, it appears to be the number one song in the world. What many people may also have heard is a quirky, camped up version from some spi ffL haired British goof. That’s Mike Flowers! Not content to allow only Oasis to profit from a great song, the Mike Flowers Pops whipped up their own lounge-lizard rendition. Apparently the English liked it, since this version outsold the original over Christmas in the UK. Ok, as to the song itself, it’s unique to say the least. Just the

appears on disc five, but it’s df music that will be released in ‘96, so it’s just like an extended preview, Come six months from crow the new Sarah or Rose Chronicles will be out, and this disc will be just as redundant as the other four. I’m not saying old hits aren’t a good thing to include, but as a example the CD-RUM contains reproductions of 0Jd deeves from singles released by the artists on Nettwerk, so why not include some long-lost B-sides? Or acoustic demos, live cuts, unreleased songs, anything! Whatever the case, the music that is there

fi>r a Canadian as a romantic synthpup and industrial haven, through fo the eclectic menagerie that reides on Lhe label days

a fitting tribute to their success. The fine grq7hic &sign and the recipe-book appear;mct: of this package cannot

hide

this hct.

The CD contains a cross section of various Nettwerk artists over the years, from Moev and Skinny Puppy to Deierium and Mystery Machine, but no attempt is made to

present any rare, colfectable, or unreleased material. This is usually the raison d’etre of‘ box sets, but that’s not the case here+ So think about it: if you only enjoy a coupte of bands, yuu’ re probably not going to shell out the cash to celebrate a tenth anniversary. Alternately, if you’re a fan of the label, and own a lot of Nettwcrk product, you’ll essentially be paying eighty bucks for some ~mrroovy gapI~i~s(tta ha)anci I-II-ROM soft-

wonderfill trr~ks as “The City Sleeps” by M(’ 000 fi. Jesus, “From a Million Miles” by Single Gun Theory, and “A\Gting Eternity” by the Kosc Chronicles. On the other har-irf, tIiere’s nzorc than enough Ski nq Puppy and Consolidated on here to malit: my skin cra4, but f&*; 2~c iq-j:>rtiint pals ofthat label 3 I?! iti‘wy. flterc’s tots or Sar;lh (w+diy the nw track), ti Laya Hz), SC~, and lots of songs from more otw3lre acts like After All, Failing .lqs, and o fcoul-se the Water Walk’s tine “Turn Your Face Away.” The notable absence of the Grapes of Wrath probably has to do with former member K&n Kane, and his refusal to let the rest of the band even use the name

anymore (thus was born Ginger)+ Basically

if you

know

Nettwerk

bands, and you know their biggest hits, you’ll know what”s on here+ Had Nettwerk paid more attention to the track selection, instead of burying themselves in the CD-ROM, this might be a better buy, As it is, eighty dollars is a lot to pay for what is essentially a large greatest hits collection, even ifit is a guod one,

by Patrick Wilkins Imprint staff

Stanley’s L.ucky Stif‘t‘are getting their act togcthcr, and the drummer Dave Alexander IS back in school. That leaves Ron Hawkins, primary songwriter and main vocal of TLOTL. Ron Hawkins (not to be confused with the similarly-named Toronto blues man Ronnie Hawkins) has released The Secret 0~ b!j Exctx~, an album which does a great job of filling the musical hole left by TLOTL’s demise. Listening to Hawkins’ new work, the extent of his contribution to The Lowest of the Low’s sound is obvious. Songs like “Wrecking Wall” and the album-closer “E3utterfly” #are indistinguishable from anything off Hullzrcigcoill. It’s not surprising, consideri:lg that 311 hut

opinions of it that I’ve heard are rather mixed. Upon first listen, people’s comments raged from “insulting” to “incredible.” I think it’s a great gimmicky song, but not much more. It’ll last about as long as most one-hit wonders, so I hope Mike enjoys his 15 minutes of fame. Wonderwall’s got an amusing instrumentation, perfectly in tune with it’s lounge styles, with the usual guitar and drums and the Super Stereo Brass, two trumpets, a saxophone and a trombone. Add to that a trio of backup singers and the amusing vocal skills of Mike Flowers. Rounding out the whole sound, are authentic scratching noises, as if this were being played from a LP. While the song is mar+ally good at best, the video is a riot. Everything from the clothes to the hair are authentic 70s. The ladies singing backup are adorned with the finest in overdone flowing silks, and then, again, there’s Mike. He gets to sport the spiffy almast-leisure suit with silver tie, the Kendoll coif and the smile. He gets to pose, flirt and shuffle step for several minutes, and seems to enjoy the whole thing. As for the rest of the EP, it’s not loo good. There’s a duet by Mike Flowers and Juliet Morel, one of the backup singers, and an instumental song. I can’t say I really like them al1 that much, Ok, “Wonderwall” is kind of cute, but it’s not worth your money. Enjoy the song while you can, but it’s not a very smart invcstmcnt to make. But see the video at least once, or least just hear the song. It deserves that much.

three songs from the entire TLOTL discography were entirely his. One can’t say that Ron Hawkins sounds like The Lowest of the Low; heujas the Lowest of the Low’s sound, and it showx.

from two to eight musicians play on any given track, on anything from acoustic slide and lap steel guitars to saxophone, bassoon, or djembc. Elajvkins flaunts his new sound on a ‘cover’ of”Motel 30,” There’s no credit gi\fen to his former-

spctirc andtfullu cig~fziu, part acoustic blues, part hard rock. For songwriting quality and variety, however, Ron Hawkins’ solo releast: rises above his former bamI’s work. This is Ihe album Lo\vest of the Low fins havebeen waitingtwo years hr. It was M’otlh thts w;iit.


IMPRINT,

by Patrick Wilkins Imprint staff 1tiods Rlrle comes less than a year after Shannon Lyon released the Buffalo W&P CD on his own Swallow Records label. Where BL@& Whi& Gas a primarily acoustic album, however, Lyon’s latest offering is entirely electric, backed by the full band Shannon Lyon Pop Explosion, and holds quite a few surprises for the unsuspecting listener. hfuds Rule is an impressively crafted package in itself, an odd mixture of 70’s pop-art and modern DIY. The liner notes feature a picture of an assortment of buttons attached onto an army jacket. A Swallow Records pin is clipped inconspicuously amidst promotional items from various British groups like the Kinks, the Who, and the Clash. You might say that Shannon Lyon prefers to wear his influences on his sleeve. Not that it sounds a11 that British, apart from the occasional punkish snarl. If anything, it’s a west-coastish sound, like the work of Art Bergmann, or the harmonies ofPure, or a touch of Seattle grunge. The mud connection is more a simi-

Men Wfthout E&i., MCA by Justin Imprint

c?3&y&3fl : f 0glio Rewr& . .. p Mathews staff

:

“We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, ‘cause your friends don’t dgnr-r

:Inrl

UCS”YY,

l .

..k.

if thrv I,

J

->“*

L

Various Art&

:

A Tribgte to Rosu Pankv Verity Rec&s by J. Hagey special to Imprint 11is tilways

over and over and over again (it’s rather infectious) one can’t help but wonder “why listen to anything else when I can listen to Men Without Hats?” Like I said, Ivan writes those kinds of songs that just won’t get out of your head, almost like you’re being brainwashed into wanting to listen to nothing but

lection ever to be put together? There’s much more to Men Without Hats than the “Safety Dance.” We also get “Pop Goes the World”, “Where Do the BoysGo?“and”Hey Men!” “All this on one CD?” you ask, but wait, there’s more, Yes, with your Men Without Hats Collectiorz

us

Men Without Hats. But can anyone deny that this is perhaps the greatest singles col-

for. Especially if it’s for a good cause, like a tribute to the woman who ignited the Civil Rights Movement in the ‘6Os, when she refused to move to the back of the bus with to sit with the other ‘negroes. ’ Rosa Parks is certainly a figure worth honouring, but somehow, this disc just doesn’t rise to the occassion.

All the tracks are a gospel/soul mix that have good enough vocals, but the accompanyment is a ridiculously cheesy studio synth. The entire album sounds 1ike it was either made in a hurry; by people that didn’t really care; or on the cheap. In any of these cases, it is a shame, because Mrs. Parks deserves better.

difficult

to listen to

that you have some expec-

tations

by Chris Adworth special to Imprint The track listing to this pseudoEP reads like a sad shopping list of miscues and bad jokes. With their first album, the combination of Trent Reznorized industrial gIoom rock and Alice Cooper style shock rock caused a few people to perk up their ears. Smds Like Children, a mammothly long between album offering, fails to carry on with that original momentum. With Smells Like Children, Marilyn Manson and his creepy associates have already begun to tread water and it won’t take long before their skinny arms start to get tired and their heads start to go under. Mixing industrial and goth textures into an ‘oh so scary’ black witches brew, Marilyn Manson continue on with their halloween

theatrics and cartoon evilness to very limited success. It is an attempted wild ride of odd samples, bizarre ‘shock your parents’ profanity, found sounds and weirdness that rarely gets out of the starting blocks. It just seems like they are all trying way too hard. When it comes down to it there is nothing here: to get excited about save for an interesting (and quite spooky) cover of the Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)“. Unnecessary remixes, a few disappointing covers, far tdo many fucked up short tracks meant to serve as intros into songs and a few uneventful new tracks bring this satanic picnic 1.0 a quick halt. Sad remixes of “Cake and Sodomy,” “Organ Grinder,” and “Dope Hat” all taint this completely dismal outing. It would have been way better had this cartoon carnival just sat down and recorded some new muSIC.

As it stands, this is definitely not worth your while.

yuuUL3-u Y.-L, b” ***-WI.bWll”YU

dance mixes of “Safety Dance”, “Where Do the Boys Go?” and “3 Got the Message!” Could you really ask for anything p&, more on a CD? 1suppose all you Men Without Hats fans are wondering about some of the newer material, most notably “Sideways.” This was conspicuously absent from an otherwise perfect collection. But Oglio Record> seems dedicated to reviving the 1980’s New Wave sound, so pop rock like “Sideways” just doesn’t fit the CD. But if bringing the 80’s back to iife is what Oglio Records was trying to do, the catchy, dancy, mindless synth pop of this Collection is a huge success.

well they’re no friend mine.” So opens the new collection from the ever so eloquent Men Without 1lats. OK. so Ivan Dorosohuk isn’t exactly a brilliant lyricist, but he does seem to have a knack for writing those songs that you just can’t get out of your head (no matter how hard you q4. I’m sure everybody remembers the phenomenally successful “Safety Dance” from way back in 1983. It was an incredible start for an incredible band. The only problem is that “Safety Dance” stili seems to be what most people remember of Men Without Hats. But after listening to Collwliun

a rck;lsc

you’re secretly glad it isn’t all that popular so that you don’t get sick of it after three months of constant rotation. The album then proceeds through four more-or-less standard rock tracks. The lead guitar is nice and fuzzy with some rockin’

solos, the rhythm section keeps good time, and Lyon’s vocals are clearly delivered in a pleasant drawl. In other words, he knows what he’s doing when it comes to songwriting, but Mods Rule isn’t quite the Canadian equivalent of London Calling or Meup Beuty Big and Bouncy. Just when the prospect of following through the final five songs appears undaunting yet not terribly exciting, Shannon Lyon pauses to change sides. Literally. The track listing is given in two “sides,” and unnumbered. That’s because tracks 6 to 9 exist in a netherworld of musical experimentation. A reversed sample backs all four tracks, throwing overtop distorted voices and something bhangra-ish. The 1970’s al1usion is repeated: “This is nineteensixtyfuckingseven, Lance. This ain’t 1990.” Just as suddenly, it’s over, and the music begins anew. The music of the Shannon Lyon Pop Explosion has been refreshed. “Would You Agree?” is yet another step up the musical energy chain, featuring a catchy rhythmic riff and a nice naughty chorus. Side Two is more energetic and experimental than the more poppy Side One, and the finally, aptly named “Rock Star” brings the whole to a suitable conclusion. A very enjoyable and energetic album, from one of our finest musicians.

larity of style, one that can keep a song twisting for three minutes before crashing to a halt, completely exhausted. The opening and title track is a gem of arrangement, from the high-pitched whooping intro and chorus, through to risque and quirky lyrics, a key and tempo change or two (or three, or four), some drum rolls, alternately toe-tapping and body-swaying rhythm, and a twcn ty-second fade-out. The sort of song that everyone would be in love with if CFNY deigned to put it on its corporate-sponsored playlist, but

~lr~n’t r\ance,

CI.V

37

ARTS

Friday, March 1, 1996

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project-x saucer shoemaker levy the sinisters

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ALSO LOOKING to promo@ regional artists, fashion designers, dancers, writers, and other creative types. Get visibility on the Internet and World Wide Web: free listing on our soon-to-arrive Web pages. E-mail address to be established shortly.


ARTS

38 -...

Therapy? &art@ A&M by Sandy Atwal Imprint staff Therapy?‘s grinding sonic assault has made fbr some intriguing songs, most ofwhich follow a proto1heavy Metal/loud-before-Nirvanawas-cool formula. 199 1‘s/Vursehad some brilliant moments, including the churning “Teethgrindcr” which turned yours truly onto the band. Their follow-up, Troubkgum, deviated less from the mainstream, and as a result was a lot less interesting, but contained at least one fantastic track, “Screamager.” The first release from their new album hfemai Low comes as a two-part single (one of which is packaged in lovely red velour) with three acoustic b-sides apiece. The title track they share is the Grant Hart penned, Hiisker Dii song “Diane” from that band’s 1!4ctal Circws EP. The original is a brilliant example of early Hti Dii guitar/shout/

FUZZ of the kind which exerted a huge influence on bands like. . .Thcrapy’? The band’s story of a rapist/murder is a harrowing, powlies in the ability to make the repeated title sound like the word “dying.” In their remake, Therapy? has opted for an orchestral interpretation. It’s obvious what the band wanted to try and do, and if it had worked, it truly would have been an unique, worthy cover. Notice the use of the word “if.” While not pretentious per se, the use ofcellos, violins and other nonstandard-issue rock instruments is a frequent faltering point for bands, and Therapy?, unfortunately, are no exception. But let’s not dwell on the negative. The b-sides are a treat here, but only if you’re a fan of the band. Hard-ass tracks like “Scrcamager” and “Die Laughing” are reduced to solo acoustic tracks, but are qualitatively akin to Nirvana’s Unpiugged outing. In both cases, fess is more and the sparse instrumentation only serves to accent the band’s songwriting skills.

by Edward Richards Imprint St&f The feeling of silk on one’s body can create sensations of erotic and sensual pleasure. The feeling of Silk in one’s ear is like a pheromone for the mind. To let the music enter your soul and to allow it to play freely with your emotions is to leave yourself vulnerable to a mental orgasm. Some a y’all be thinking that an R+B lover is soft likeanewbornbaby’sbum, but let me tell you something that’s real. It’s a cold world, and ifyow can’t learn to relax with some smoothed-out vibes - regardless of how ‘hard’ you are-then you’re a sucker. The last time 1 checked, Mobb Deep didn’t really yield the same results in the bedroom as Jodeci or Portrait, ya’ na’ mean? And when it comes to the satin sheet flavour, no one comes like Silk. No OIE When “Freak Me” came out a couple of years back, ladies lost theirminds and players were scrambling around trying to trap down a disc so they could secure their sex life for a while. You see, from a man’s perspective, to play Silk in the ride on a long drive with a cutie was to set up for a real nice evening of activity. Considering Keith Sweat, cne of the smoothest men alive, discovered the crew, it’s should be no surprise that they have the same ‘panty-dampening’ effect as the master himself. With the new album on the shelves, i‘ellahs have no excuses as to why they can’t get no satisfaction. Man, I’ve seen some of the sickest looking dudes driving around with some of God’s most beautiful creations, and every scenario has the same element - Si\k just happens to be kickin’ mad love out of the speakers. I’m not a psychologist so I can’t explain this phenomenon, but I know one thing, he who sleeps on this album sleeps alone (unless he has

Who’s Friday Rheostatics, E3lcano Black Forest Coffee House, SI. PauZ’.s CoIIege (continues on Saturda y) Saturday Headstones w/Tom Wilson, Ftd LidI Boss Hog WlHeatseekers, Operu Huuse, Tornnto Monday Mike Scott, Trinity Cerztre, Toronto Tuesday Anselma House Benefit, Bombshelter Thursday Sandbox, Bombshell~r Gandharvas w/Tristan Psionic, vdcano Natalie Merchant, Mtcsrc Ha/I, Toronto CIV, Opera House, Toronto

IMPRINT, Friday, March 1, 14% the new Intro or Shai in his possession). When you open the case, you find a simple silver disc. All that fancy shit isn’t necessary because the music is just so damned tight. The first track, “Hooked On You” is one of them head nodding, onehand-on-the-wheel-one-hand-onyour-girl’s-leg type vibes that makes people glad men are men and women are women. “E3ecause Of Your Love” is dope and “it’s So Good” is, well, real good. But then, out of nowhere, without warning, they drop one of those sweet sets that prompt the clothes to come off regardless of the setting. “Don’t

the guy does all of those ridiculous naked poses in the bathroom with that crooked smirk after he’s jusf gotten his while the girl hugs the pillow and wonders when the hell he is coming back to finish what he started. The a1bu.m closes with the track ‘*Remember Me.” All I can say is remember to put this record on a mixed tape for the ride, the walkman, the home system, and even that raggedy-ass Teddy Ruxpin doll that your girlfriend’s sister dragsaround with her. You’ll never know when it might come in handy. I can’t stress enough the significance of this album. I’m not

Rush” really sets the tone for the album with the opening lyrics “do you like what you see?, ” and it leads into the song that is classic Silk: ‘7 Can Go Deep.” I made a little bit of a mistake the first time Z played the record. See, I wasn’t with a girl, and, quite frankly, I’ve never been so appreciative of the art of self-love (just playing, but for real, statistically, the guy on your left probably does it every other night.) Anyway, other tracks that stand up to the best include “Don’t Co To Bed Mad,” “Don’t Cry For Me,” and “How Could You Say You Love Me.” The freshest track on the album in my opinion, (as if y’all give flying f*@k) is “Now That I’ve Lost You.” It’s placed strategically on the disc so that it represents the song where

making any royaltics from this, but I’m still going to tell you to pick it up. Silk has really reprcscnted proper for the nine-sex. If you MC not up on your R+B picks, let 1111’ give you a little summary of the IatusI must-have rcledses. Intro. Shai, and, of cc~+sc, Silk. For the men, good luck u ith the ladies. Like I said, it shouldn’t be too hard to get yours because: your work is basically done for you with this album. And to all thosE: men who don’t want to heljevc what I’m saying, you IOX. I hope’ you have a lot of money, or at least a nice set of abs. For the ladies, he careful of those not-even-close-to-havin’-it going-on type perpetrators who might try to trick you into a littic love by bustin’ out the new Silk.

Coming Looking ahead: March 8, The Mystery Show featuring the Tea Party, Fed Half March 8 & 9, Tom Cochrane w/ Amanda Marshall, Luh ‘s March 8, Forgotten Rebels, Throbbin’ Hoods & Grace Babies, Volcam March 8, Red Hot Chili Peppers w/Toadies and Spacehog, Skydome, Ttx-mz to March 9, Skydiggers w/Spooky Ruben, Fed Ha/E March 9 Groove Daddies Video Release Bash wlminitures, VoEcan0 March 9, echobelly w/Superdrag, Opera Huusr, Toro~& March 9, Rod Stewart, Skydome, To run to March 13, The Roots w/Fugees, Phoenix March 14, Heather Nova & Paul

McLeod, Bomhsh&~March 14, Snow Jam ‘96, VoIcurw March 15, The Mahones, Bonlbshur’lc~r March 15, Shades of Black, t/;~fcan0 March 16, Colin James w/She Stole My Beer, Luh ‘.I March 21, treble charger, Voican0 March 22*, Malhavoc, C’c)ir~a~~c~ March 25, Yoko One, Lcu ‘.s PC& ace, Tormtu March 28, Pure, Bntnhshelter March 28, Lou Reed, ~~~ssq Ii&, Torun to

March 29, Shannon Lyon Pop Explosioln, VoEcuno April 3,F’oo Fighters w/The Amps & That Dog, Concburt &If, ToYGVl l0

April 6,Radiohead w/David Varisty Arew, Toron tn

Gray,


Classified

Students Non-students

Deadline

$3/20

: Monday

Summer Business: are you an entrepeneur? Great opportur%ty with low star!-up cost, management trarningq earn up to $800/we&k. vehicle required Call Greenland Irrigation I -8OO361-4074. Experience the Fun Life! Be yollr own boss In Grand Bend this summer Retar\ booths available for food, clothing, rentals or plzra location (oven included). Student Venture loans available. From $395. per month. Cati London 4734084 or 657-5532 even~nos. Overseas opportunities: find out how to work, volunteer or study in one of 130+ countries. Contact Carpe Diem Opportunities at l-800-344-5443 or email carpe@ fox.nstn.ca Teach Conversational English year round. short term or for summer 1r-1 Japan. Hong Kong, Taiwan. Korea. Excellent pay. No experience or qualifications needed. For free details on living and working conditions, how you can apply, job directories, etc., pick up our free brochure at the Imprint Office or the Turnkey Desk. Asia Facts Unlimited, P.O. Box 93. KIngston, Ontario. K7L 4V6.

Get better marks! Oiscover Ginkgo, Ginseng and other natural herbs that boost energy, improve memory. Lose weight, build muscle with Diet Pep, Cal Max. Guaranteed to work. Greenbacks, Westmount Place 725-0293.

African Pygmy Hedgehogs - adorable pets, hypoallergenic, odorless, very low maintenance costs. The exotic pet for the 90s -. $90.00. Call Jim at 8888621.

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lessons - $lO/hour. Call afand weekends 746-6264.

Summer Rental for 3 or 4 students. Close to Universities, furnished, kitchen supplies, free cable, BBQ, movie library, many extras all inclusive. Call Steve /5191 886-0672. One very large5 bedroom with 2 complete four piece bathrooms, very spacious equipped kitchen, large adjoining diningroom, large livingroom, free laundry facilities, ample parking, licensed. $315./monthistudent. Lease May 1, 1996 to April 30, 1997. Call (416j 49l1370. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9 bedroom houses available for rent. Very clean, laundry, parkIng. reasonable rate, call MarkorJames 574-2064, pager 241-2985 Sublet - May 1st - downtown Ottawa, room in a sunny 2-bedroom, laundry on site, near Lobfaws, U of 0. $375 imo. Call (613) 789-6144. 5 rooms - $285/roam - $t,375/house. Licensed house, gas heated, washeri dryer gas heated, cheap bills, large driveway. Very close to grocery store, beer store and downtown Waterloo. Call Joe 888-4567, ext. 5696 from 9-4 p-m. or after 4/weekends 742-9562. Large 5 bedroom, available May 1, 1996 to August 30, 1996. Call (416) 491-l 370. 4 month lease for 3 or 4 students January 1 to April 1997. Ctose to Universities. Furnished, kitchen supplies, free cable, BE%?, movie Iibrary,many $t;6;[ inclusrve. Call Steve (519) House for rent - large, 5 bedrooms, 2 kitchens, 2 bathrooms, 2 livin rooms, washer/dryer, central vacuum, B 1,400.j month. Call Shawn at l-416-256-7063.

Tandy 1000 SX computer,DMP 130A dot-matrix printer (no hard drive). Best offer. Call 888-6526 after 7.00 D.m. Simulated oakcomputer workstation. Best offer. Call 888-6526 after 7 00 p.m.

Get your reports, cases, and essays professlonally desktop published for better marks! Free pickup and delivery. $1 50/250 words. Save this phone number and call Jennifer at 746-5069 for your next assignment. Typing and graphic servrce. Term papers, report figures restimes, etc. Colour printe4r. 745-9653 anytlme.

MARCH I, 1996 Guelph Computer Showth~s weekend Test drrve software from Compaq and Compucentre . Microsoft giveaways featuring Encat-ta and Windows 95 Free admission, free parking after4 p.m. Frtay. University Gentre, University of Guelph. March I & 2 St. Paul’s College 24th Annual Black Forest Coffee House. See ad for more info. MARCH 2,1996 KW Chamber Music Society presents Alma Petchersky, piano at 8100 p m at the KWCMS Mustc Room, 57 Young St., W.. Waterloo. Homer Watson blouse & Gallery Spring Classes from 9:30 am to 4:30 p.m. “Introduction to Painting With Acrylics”. Call 748-4377 for more info. MARCH 3,1996 Weaver’s Arms Coffee House with local musicians and artists a! 8 pm. $5. at the door with portion of proceeds going to Anselma House. MARCH 6,1996 Coming Out Discussion Group explores issues in sexual orientation. Topic: Hetro/ Homo/Bi/Trans Phobias. 7:30 p.m., ML1 04. Informatron: 884-4569. Lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transgendered people and those questioning their sexuality are welcome. Free noon concerts at 12:30 p.m. Conrad Grebel College Chapel. “Art Songs” Margarette Elligsen Hull, soprano ; Sandra Mogensen, piano. City Green Strategy workshop in Cambridge from 7 to 9 p.m. at the David Durward Centre. 62 Dickson St., Cambridge. The event is to Dlan volunteer envi?onmental projects to-r the year. Call 740-4526 for more info. Kitchener Blood Donor Clinic at the Kitchener Mennonite Church, 19 Ottawa St , N. from 1:30 to 8:OO p.m. MARCH 9,1996 Career Conference for Arts students! Join alumni as they share advice on the job search strategies that get results. 94 p.m. Contact Jayne Hayden, ext. 2005

Applications for the following scholarships are being accepted during the Winter term. Refer to Section 4 of the Undergraduate Calendar for further criteria. Applicationforms are available in the Student Awards Office. 2nd Floor, Needles Hall.

ALL

FACULTIES

Doreen Brisbin Award - available to third year Reguhr or 38 CO-OP Co-op female students in an Honour% ours program in whidh which womenare currently underrepresented. Deadline: April 30, 1996. Douglas T. Wright Award - available to all W!-KI have participatedin an internationalwork olaceplacement. Students to apply upon return lo f&-time full-time study at UW. Deadline:October 15each year. Douglas T. wright Experience in Japan Award ”- available to all who have Darticimted participated in a work placementIn IIIJapan. Stud&s Studentsto ai>pfy applyupon return to full-time study at UW. Deadline: Cktober 15 each year.

EVERY MONDAY Outers Club meets every Monday except University holidays and Inter-term breaks 7 p.m in MC 4040 Contact Fabrice Jauber!, ext. 4655 or fiaubert@ccl.uwaterloo,ca EVERY TUESDAY To become a better public speaker, read in publIcand build yourconfideqce. )o,n the Christopher Leadership Course This course begins March 19 to May 28, 1996 from 7 to IO p.m. Students $90.00 (books Included), adults $1 IO. For more info call Lolita Nechacov at (519) t;763877. EVERY WEDNESDAY Gay and Lesbian Liberation of Waterloo sponsors GLLOWNight, a social evening. 9p.m. ML 104. Meetoldfriends and make new ones. All welcome. Waterloo Science Fiction Club (WatSFiC) meeting 7:00 p.m. rn SLC 2135. Student Life Centre, UW. Bring a board or card games to play afterwards See uw.clubs.watsfic 01 mail watsfic@calum.csclub.uwaterloo.cafor details.

Certificate Program in teachinq Enr]rkh as a second language at The -W&&loo Centre for Applied Linguistics Inc. For info call 1519) 725-9070. Transportation to the Vineyard. Free shuttle available ever-v Sundav-from U of W to the Kitchener Vineiard’s mhetings at the Concordla Club. For a ride, call Sandi at 579-8463 before Friday noon. Those interested in a career as a Certified Management Accountant are invited to attend to a talk by Joseph Palumbo on Tuesday, March 26 in NH 1020 from 3:30 - 530. HistoryintheMaking Ill -aforumforHistoFy Graduate students on March 1-3, 1996 at Concxdia University in Montreal. For more info contact your History Dept. or e-mail renwick@%@.concordi&a Support the Bowlerama Fundraiser for the benefit of the French and Mahaffy families in coping with financial realities of their tragedy, on Sat., March 16. For more info call Danny DeFrancesco (416) 421-2211 or Talk 640 Radio, Debbie Dixon, (416) 221fi4nn Attention Bluevale Alumni! BCI’s 25th Reunion is May 30-June 1,1997. If you are interested in attending, please contact the Reunion Hotline at 650-0569. Recycle your phone books. 1996 telephhne b&ks tiitl be delivered durina late Fbbruary and early March. y Homer Watson House & Gallery raffle! “My Mother Bids Me Comb My Hair” pastel by Diano Philpott. Draw on May 12. Call 7484377 for more info.

Kinesiology.Deadlne:March 29, 1996. Robert Haworth Scholarship - completion of 3rd year in an honours program in resource managementrelatedto Park Planningand Management, Recreation, Natural Heritage or Outdoor Recreation.Deadline: May 31, 1996.

FACULTYOFEKGINEERING An&men Consulting Scholarship - available to 38. Deadline:March 29, 1996. J-P. Bicke!l Foundation Bursaries-available to all Chemical students. ship- availableto all.Deadline: 1996. Canadian Sock for Civil E imer!ng Award - available to ali F ivil and M 2ia nical students wittyan interest in BuildingScience. Students to contact Dr. Eric Bumet!. KefthCarrMem&alAward-avaihble!o%dor 4th year Chemical. Deadline:March 29,1996. Consulting Engineers of OntarIoScholarship -

FACULTY OFAPPUED HEALTHSCIENCE MM Gelher Memorial Scholarship - available to all 3rd year Regular Heal!h Studies and

Rates Within

Canada

$26.49

$5/20

U.S.A.

The City of Waterloo, Volunteer Services is currently recruiting for the followtng volunteer positions: Needed: Volunteer Computer Tutor: volunteers are needed to tutor senior pa&rpantsof our Computer Literacy Interest Pilot Project (CLIPP). Advanced knowledge of Windows applications is required. A time commitment of 4 flexible hours per week is required. Needed: Income Tax Volunteer: volunteers are needed to complete income tax forms for seniors. A commitment of 4 sessions which are 3 hours in length ISrequired. Volunteer Driver: Do you have a car and somefreetime?Avolunteerdriverisneeded to drive seniors from their home to a senior day program. Time commitment would be Friday 9:30-l 0: 15 a.m. and 3:304:00 p.m. Mileage is reimbursed. For informatron please call: Volunteer Services, CQ of Waterloo, 888-6488. Learn about a different culture while you show a new immigrant how to be part of your community. For more information call the KW YMCA Host Program at 579-9622. Do you like leisure and recreation? Become a Leisure Support Volunteer. Provide asststance to a person with a disability for swimming, senior’s programs, minor sports or community programs. Want to get wet? Male volunteer sought to aid a gentleman with a physical disability Swimming once/ week-evenings. Swimming anybody? Male volunteer sought to help teenage male with a dlsabllity at Rec. Centre once/week, days or evenings. Male volunteer sought for gentleman wrth drsability, wishing to shoot pool/biJl~ards. For more information call Kris at 741-2226. E3ea Big Sister Volunteer. If you are 20 or older and feel you can make a positive difference In a child’s life, K-W and area Big Sisters needs you. Female volunteers are required to develop relationships with girls (aged 4-l 7) and boys (aged 4-l 1). You are required to provide 3 hours a week for a minimum of one year. We are also in need of Big Sisters from a Jamaican, African and Latin American decent. Please call 7435206 for more information. International Students Need English Tutors. Volunteersareneededto tutorintemational students in oral and written English on a one-to-one basis. Tutor meets intemationai students on campus for 1-2 hours, usually once a week for one term. If you have a good working knowledge of English, are patient, friendly, dependable, and would like to volunteer, register at the International Student Office, NH 2080, or call Darlene Ryan, ext. 2814 for more information. Do your thing for the local environment. GREENBACKS recycles non-blueboxplastics. We need your help once a month for 2 hours. Next recycling Saturday, March 23J 96. Please call Greenbacks at 7254293 to join in. ROOF, an agency working with street youth is looking for dependable, empthetic and open-minded volunteers. ROOF provides excellent learning opportunities in group work, outreach and crisis intervention. We required both day and evening time and ask foraoncea week, eight month commit&n&. (flexible for students that leave during summer months) Please call Patti at 742-2788.

availableto all 3A. Deadline:March29, 1996. John Deere Limited Scholarship-available to all 38 Mechanical.Deadline: March 29, 1996. Dow Canada Scholarship - avatlable to 3A Chemical.Deadline: March 29,1996. SC. Johnson &Son Ltd. EnvironmentalScholarship- availableto3rdyear Chemical.Deadline: May31,1996. Ontario Hydra En ineering Awards - avatlable to 16 Chemical, I! lectrical, Environmental or Mechanical.Eligiblecandidates will be women, aboriginal(native) Canadians, persons V&I disabilitiesor visible minorities. Deadine:July 31,

Pequagnat

Marcel Scho!amhip-auailable to 38 Civil - Water Resource Manaaement students. Deadline: May 31, 1996. Alan W. Shattuck-! Bursary-available to 4th year Civil. SU~KXXBursaries - available !o all Chemical or Mechanical.

FACULTY0 la&

SLC 1116

Classified Rate:s : words ($0.15 0v4er 20 + GST) words

Business $10/20 words Subscription

5 p.m.

ONMENTAL

(8O.V

($0.25 $52-23

over 20 + GST)

over 20 + GST) Overseas

$89.85

Interview Skills I: March 1, lo:30 12:30. NH 1020. Intro to Career Management for 21 st Century: March 4, 12130 - 1130, NH 1020. Self Assessment: March 4,2:30 - 3:30, NH 1030. Researching Employers: March 5,9:30 - 11:30, NH 1020, 1115. Resume Criliquing: March 5, 1~30 3130, NH 1020 Researching Occupations’ March 6, 1:30 - 2130, NH 1115. Information Interview: March 6,2:30 3130. NH 1020. Resume Writing: March 7,9:30 - 11:OO NH 1020. Letter Writing. March 7, 1 1:OO - 12-30. NH 1020. Interview Skills Ill: March 8, lo:30 . 12.30 . NH 1020 Resume Critiquing: March 11 I 5:00 7:00, NH 1020. Career Plan Evaluation: March 12, 1 I:30 - 1.30, NH 1020. Networking: March 13, I:30 - 2.30, NH 1020 Job/Work Search: March 13, 2:30 4:30. NH 1020. 1115. Letter Critiquing: March 14. lo:30 12:30. NH 1020. Preparing for the Workplace: March 18, 11.30 - 12:30, NH 1020. Self-Marketing Plan Assessment: March 18, 1230 - 2:30, NH t020.

* Chaos * Waterloo Taxi * Onward Comptuers * Fair-view Acura * Picture Yourself * Princess Cinema * Gino’s Pizza * Blue Dog Wagels * Dr. Disc * The Beat Goes On * UW Federation of Students * Data Corn Computers * Vision Coflnputers * Bent * CARE. Centre * Just Words * WPRIG * Marlin Travel * Waterloo North Mazda * Shot In The Dark * Travel Cuts * TEACH * K.O.M. Consultants * CIB * Club Abstract * Imprint * St. Paul’s college * Kidney Foundation

Robert Haworth Scholarship - completion of 3rd year in an hor~ours program in resource management related to Park Planning and Management,Recreation,Natural Heritageor&!door Recreation. Deadline: May 31,1996. Marcel Peq nat Scholarship - avarlableto 3rd year 7 nvironment & Resource Studies,Planning.Wa!erResourceManagement. Deadline: Ma 31,1996.

-7+FAULTYOFMATHEMATICS Andersen Consulltin Scholarship - avatlable to 3B Math. Dea8line: March 29.1996. Electrohome 751h Anniversary Scholarship - available to 38 Ca,mputer Science. Deadline: March 29,1996. K.C. h Computer Science Scholarship available to 2nd year Regular Computer Science. Deadfine: March 29,1996.

FACULTYOFSCiENCE J.P. Bwf foun&&~~ Bursaries- availableto upper year Earth SC-. - available to 3A Dow Cati S&nllarshi Chemistry. Deadline:Ma J-l 29,19%.


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1995-96_v18,n29_Imprint