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February 2013

FELLOWSHIP MATTERS Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Winston-Salem

Claiming Control by Letting Go February 3 When we have too little control, life can feel overwhelming. When someone in our lives is trying to exert too much control, we can feel trapped. Claiming an appropriate amount of control in our lives is thus very important to our emotional health and well-being. One way we can seek to find that balance is by shifting our perception of the amount of control we have. Part of that perceptual shift is letting go of the things we think we control, but actually don’t. By doing so, we can help ourselves lead a healthier, more balanced life. Guest Speaker: Seth Carrier Worship Leader: Donna Hatchett Of Love and Marriage February 10 Do you decide who you will love? And once in love, who gets to decide who you may marry? The cultural norms that define marriage, sexuality, and gender identity have shifted dramatically over time, and there are always battles in this markedly political territory. Those who are ready to usher in major cultural shifts today will have to be savvy strategists. Speaker: Rev. Lisa Romantum Schwartz Worship Leader: Mary Krautter God of Dirt: The Gospel According to Mary Oliver February 17 Mary Oliver’s poetry is about the foxes, owls, snakes, lilies, ponds, and forest that surround her home on Cape Cod. But her poems also explore life and death, prayer, spirituality, and a God who is incarnate in Nature. “There is,” she says, “only one subject worth my attention and that is the recognition of the spiritual side of the world and, within this recognition, the condition of my own spiritual state. I am not talking about having faith necessarily, although one hopes to.” Guest Speaker: Rev. John L. Saxon, Lead Minister, UU Fellowship of Raleigh Worship Leader: Rev. Lisa Romantum Schwartz INSTALLATION SERVICE, 4:00 P.M., SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 17 Mission: Possible February 24 A congregation’s mission is the burning coal at its center, its reason for existence. A mission statement provides a goal, a path, and a guide to decision making. What is the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship’s unique role in Winston-Salem, the region, and the world? It’s time to start figuring it out. Speaker: Rev. Lisa Romantum Schwartz Worship Leader: Mary Taylor Fellowship Matters: February 2013

What’s 1Inside StoryInside: Inside Story

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From the President


From Our Minister


Faith in Action


Safe Congregations Task Force


RE Notes


Fellowship Matters is published by the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Winston-Salem to inform members and friends about Sunday Services and other activities of the congregation. Contributions to the newsletter may be sent to the editor at The newsletter is e-mailed without charge to members and friends and to visitors for an introductory period. Others may subscribe to the newsletter for $10 per year by writing to the Fellowship. Additional information about the Fellowship and its programs may be obtained from the minister and from officers listed elsewhere in this newsletter.

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President’s Message Happy Ystävänpäivä We are all familiar with Valentine’s Day, but what about Ystävänpäivä Day? Valentine’s Day is traced to several saints named Valentine, one of whom was a priest near Rome in 270 A.D. He was known for performing clandestine weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry by the Roman Empire. I see a corollary to our UU practice of supporting everyone’s right to marry. According to Wikipedia, Valentine’s Day was first associated with romantic love in Parlement of Foules (1382) by Geoffrey Chaucer. Chaucer wrote: For this was on seynt Volantynys day/Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make. (“For this was on Saint Valentine’s Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate.”) This poem was written to honor the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia. Interestingly, not all countries follow the American practice of focusing on romantic love with gifts of candies, flowers, and a romantic meal. In Finland, Valentine’s Day is called Ystävänpäivä, which translates as “Friend’s day.” This celebration is more about remembering all your friends, not only your loved ones. In Estonia, Valentine’s Day is called Sõbrapäev, which has the same meaning. In some Latin American countries—Mexico, The Dominican Republic, Costa Rica, Ecuador, and Puerto Rico, among others— Valentine’s Day is known as “Día del Amor y la Amistad” (Day of Love and Friendship). In these countries it is common to see people perform “acts of appreciation” for their friends. Please join me in celebrating “Friends Day” by showing appreciation to your family and friends. I want to acknowledge the wonderful community of people within our UU Fellowship, and I value my friendship with each one of you. I am so thankful that I can be a part of this Fellowship. Your President, Karen Cross

Remember to Bring Your Artwork on February 10! Bring all types of artwork to the Fellowship Hall after the service next week for our Art Gallery! Everyone is invited to bring snacks for our Opening Reception on Sunday, February 24. If you can bring food, help set up, or clean up, please contact our Reception Coordinators, Jane Towns (at 704-651-8400 or or Marguerite Beyer (at 207-930-5539 or Thanks!

Fellowship Matters: February 2013

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From Our Minister: “In spite of fears of opposition from the community ...” It’s a telling statement. I found it in the UUFWS history book, New Dimensions of the Spirit: The Story of the Unitarian of Winston-Salem. There are many bold actions in the UUFWS’s 60+ year history, and the above quote could well relate to any of them. “In spite of fears of opposition from the community,” the Fellowship has stood up for justice, sat down for dialogue, and taught bold curricula to children and adults. What is the burning coal at the center of the congregation, the energy and the passion that has driven generations of religious liberals to do this important work? It’s our mission. And no matter how many times the congregation revisits the mission statement, I doubt the mission of Unitarian Universalism in this city has changed, or will change much. In contrast to our mission itself, a mission statement is but a snapshot, a particular era’s perspective on that energized center that is a congregation’s mission. It should be broad enough to allow for growth, clear enough to be understood by even the most casual visitor, and memorable enough to stick in people’s minds, and hearts. Before you go looking up the current mission statement of UUFWS, think about it: Does it excite you? Guide your decisions? Is it memorable? Seriously, can you remember it? … (I didn’t think so.) Rev. Thom Belote of the Shawnee Mission (Kansas) UU Church says, “if the majority of the members in your congregation can’t recite the mission statement, then you don’t have one.” Which is not to say that we don’t have a mission, because I think it’s clear that we do, and always have. Otherwise, we couldn’t have made so many stands and statements, “in spite of fears of opposition from the community.” But we don’t have a mission statement that fits us, guides us, and says clearly who we are and why we exist. It’s time to revisit a clear and compelling statement of UUFWS’s mission. Over the next several months you’ll see various chances to come together in discussion groups and town hall meetings to help refine the mission statement. As befits a democratic organization, UUFWS members will vote on any statement before we adopt it, but there will be plenty of ways to be part of the process before the “yea or nay” moment. Plan to be a part of things!

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Members of the Congregation of The Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Winston-Salem, North Carolina are cordially invited to attend the installation of The Reverend Lisa Romantum Schwartz Sunday, February 17, 2012 4:00 p.m. at The Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Winston-Salem Reception following the ceremony

(For more information regarding the installation ceremony, see page six)

Fellowship Matters: February 2013

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Faith in Action by Janet Owen, SAC Chair This is my last column as SAC Chair. I’m proud of the work we’ve accomplished together, and I’m happy to turn SAC over to Anne Barefield. I look forward to what the new year will bring in our commitment to social action. January Achievements Rev. Lisa and several of our members and friends, including Dee Best, Carol Herman, Elisabeth and John Motsinger, Marie Creed, Margaret Scales, and Tom and Patty Ricono, participated in the We Do campaign on January 14. They provided support for several same-sex couples who asked for and were denied marriage licenses at the County Clerk’s office. Upcoming Social Action Opportunities On February 2, members of our CHANGE Core Team will attend the CHANGE leadership retreat. This annual retreat helps set the agenda for the year. The retreat will be held at First Baptist Church on Highland Avenue. Watch the What’s Up at the Fellowship for the next meeting of Americans United for Separation of Church and State. They meet at Oscar’s Grille in Sherwood Plaza on Robinhood Road. Come at 6:00 p.m. for dinner if you wish, and stay for the 6:30 meeting. The Southeast District Racial Justice Conference is March 1 and 2 at the UU Congregation of Columbia, SC. Find out more and register at The registration fee is $65 until February 1, and then it goes up to $75. The Social Action Council meets the second Sunday of the month in the Fellowship Library at noon. All are welcome to attend. If you have a new social justice project you want to pursue, please contact Anne Barefield. You can find information on current and upcoming projects at the SAC table in the foyer, and in the What’s Up at the Fellowship weekly email newsletter. You can sign up for most SAC projects either in person at the SAC table or online at (search for to see all current signups).

More on SAC and CHANGE by Anne Barefield The Social Action Council will meet on Sunday, February 10, 2013, at noon in the UUFWS Library. The CHANGE Core Team will be meeting with SAC for the next four months while Janet Owen is on medical leave and Ann Barefield is serving as chair of SAC.

Fellowship Matters: February 2013

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The Social Action Council meetings are open to all who are interested in social justice work in our community. We encourage you to join us at noon on the second Sunday of each month in the UUFWS Library. We support numerous organizations and activities, and we need your support. This is one way we live out our UU Principles. The CHANGE Core Team members will be working with CHANGE during 2013 to develop grassroots recommendations for how we need to proceed in the areas of education, senior concerns, foreclosure, and transportation. We will be asking for your input about what you consider to be the major issues in Forsyth County in these four areas. The facilitators for the four areas are as follows: Education, Ann Barefield; Foreclosure, Steve Scroggin; Senior Concerns, Donna Schmid; and Transportation, Ann Zimmerman. If you have suggestions about any of these areas, please share them with the facilitators. In the near future, the group will be sharing information with the congregation for your input. Please consider the information and give us your ideas to help us make recommendations to CHANGE. If you wish to read more about CHANGE, go to Thank you for your assistance in helping us gather your opinions to share with CHANGE.

Okay, So What Exactly IS an Installation? You’re invited to the Installation! Sunday, February 17, at 4:00 p.m. Now: What is an Installation? In some faith traditions a Bishop or other powerful ecclesial authority assigns ministers to congregations. In contrast, Unitarian Universalists are grounded in principles of democracy and congregational freedom. Throughout our long history, a congregation is the ONLY entity that can enter into a relationship with a minister. (UUs “call” ministers, not “hire” them; it’s an important distinction.) An Installation is a public worship service that formalizes the congregation’s new relationship with a settled minister. It’s a celebration and a ceremony, even though the new relationship is already under way. (It is as a wedding ceremony is to a marriage—a public declaration of vows, and a grand party to celebrate the commitment.) One of the features of the service is the participation of many clergy—UU colleagues and community clergy—who witness and bless the relationship. Several of them will have words to say, including a “Charge to the Congregation” and a “Charge to the Minister.” Central to the event is a verbal statement of promises and expectations between the UUFWS members and Rev. Lisa. The service is open to everyone; UUFWS members are technically the hosts, inviting community members and neighboring UU churches to be our guests at this grand party. Dress is a little dressier than usual. Music will be glorious. The service should last no more than 75 minutes, and childcare is available during the service for those youngest among us who can’t sit still that long. The service will be followed by a reception with great food and libation. Please plan to attend and bless the beginning of this relationship!

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Class Info and Talk Back! Unitarian Universalist History classes continue: February 7, 21, and 28, 6:30–8:00 p.m. The strong branches that bear Unitarian Universalism in the 21st century are invigorated by our tradition’s deep roots in American soil. This class will explore the history and its relevance to our faith today. Rev. Lisa will show brief and engaging video segments shot on location at UU churches and historic sites and featuring leading voices in Unitarian Universalism. There will be plenty of time for class discussion.

Talk Back: 1st and 3rd Mondays, 2:00–3:00 p.m. The group got off to a great start in January, with some general feedback sessions. In February the group will begin to explore topics together. Rev. Lisa facilitates, everyone participates, a good time is had by all! The topic on February 4: Liberalism’s shrinking agenda.

Women’s Chocolate Party It’s time for the Women’s Chocolate Party! Save the date—Saturday, February 16, starting at 6:30 p.m. All women are welcome, so bring your female friends and relatives. I supply the chocolate, and you can supply drinks or noncrumbling items to dip in the chocolate. Or come empty handed—that’s all right, too. I live at 660 Chester Road, Winston-Salem. Thanks for any help, Lucy Kaplan

Notes From the Board In December your Board began its project of working through the book Governance and Ministry: Rethinking Board Leadership, by Dan Hotchkiss. We had hoped to review all of Chapter 5, “The Role of the Board,” but we weren’t able to complete this chapter since it had so much good information. We will have strived to do additional work on Chapter 5 during our January meeting. Every month we hear reports from all of the Board Liaisons on their respective committee’s meetings, activities, and any concerns that the committees express. We discussed a question recently brought to the Board about the UUFWS rental policy as well as a question about another committee’s profits. During our “new business” portion of the meeting, we discussed the need to establish a grievance committee, which will be a part of the charge to our Safe Congregations task force. (Please see the article in this newsletter about our Safe Congregations initiative.) Monthly minutes of all Board meetings are available (to members only) at our website. After you log on to, click on the “Board of Trustees” link at the left, and scroll down to select which meeting notes you’d like to read. Fellowship Matters: February 2013

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The Assault on the Environment THE FACTS More than $40 million: Amount of money the power industry spent on lobbying in just one year, including efforts to gut enforcement of the Clean Air Act. 72%: The percentage of toxic-air mercury pollution that comes from America’s coal-fired power plants. 125: The number of anti-environmental bills that passed the House of Representatives in 2011. 0: The number of comprehensive climate change bills to pass Congress in 2011. 169,000: The number of lives saved in the U.S. by the Clean Air Act in 2010 alone. 33,000: The number of aggravated asthma cases that can be prevented each year by the new boiler rule governing power plants—a rule that industry has opposed. 30-to-1: The total ratio of benefits-to-costs that the Clean Air Act represents to Americans. 34,000: The number of deaths expected in the first few years resulting from clean air cuts represented by just one industry-supported bill. 321: The number of consecutive months with a global temperature above the 20th-century average. 1.6 million: The number of Americans employed today in environmental technologies. 1: The number of U.S. agencies with the power to regulate greenhouse gas emissions—the Environmental Protection Agency. You can make a difference in defending your air, your water, your climate, and your future. Support the Environmental Defense Action Fund. Visit ~Rodger Junk

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Safe Congregations Task Force The Board of Trustees has established a Safe Congregations Task Force comprising the following UUFWS members: Shawn Angell, Stephen Biedrycki, Cynthia Braun, Gloria Fitzgibbon, Steve Jones, and Janet Zehr, with Pam Lepley and Rev. Lisa Schwartz serving as advisors and resources. The charge to the Safe Congregations Task Force as approved by the Board of Trustees is as follows: As our Fellowship has grown over the past decade, our existing policies and procedures have not kept up with our growth. The Board and staff recognize the need to review and update our policies and procedures to reflect current best practices. The Board appoints a Safe Congregations Task Force to: examine our existing policies and procedures; review current UUA, District, and Church Insurance standards; examine UUA and Church Insurance resources; and make policy and procedure recommendations to the Board as we strive to establish and follow the best practices of a Safe Congregation. A multitude of resources regarding Safe Congregations is available on the UUA website: The work of the Task Force will include, but is not limited to, the following focus areas:       

Safety Policies for Children and Youth Responsible Staffing Building Security Crisis Planning and Trauma Response Disruptive Behavior Policy Conflict Management Covenant of Right Relations

It is anticipated that the initial work of the Task Force will take a year. It is not anticipated that the work of establishing a Safe Congregations policy with fully implemented procedures is complete in the first year. It is also anticipated that the Task Force will evolve into a standing Safe Congregations Committee with at least two of the original Task Force members remaining on for a second year to seed that Committee. In following this directive, Task Force members will consult with relevant Committees of the Fellowship as they conduct research and consider updates and changes to current Policies. This will be an ongoing and extended process, undertaken with care and sensitivity. Ultimately, all policy recommendations will be presented to the Board of Trustees for review and approval. The Task Force will seek to work transparently by submitting updates to the Board and periodically posting information in the Fellowship Matters newsletter for the congregation. If you have questions, you can contact Pam Lepley at or speak directly to any Task Force member. ~Pam Lepley

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RE NOTES Coffee Chat All are invited to drop by the Fellowship Library on Thursday mornings from 9:00– 11:00 a.m. for a cup of coffee and some conversation. Welcome to Our Visitors Elizabeth Barron The Brukstali Family Carrie Helton Joanna Lower Gabrielle Marshall Pat Mitze Ann Phillips Chris Phillips Connor Phillips Katie Phillips Dottie Powers Jillian Price Sayrd Price Cameron Sardina Frank Sardina Paisley Sellick Tom Walter

African Drumming The African Drumming class with instructor Robin Leftwich is open to both beginning and experienced drummers. Cost is $15 per session or $50 for a series of four classes and includes the use of a drum. Youth and adults are welcome in the class, which meets practically every Tuesday from 7:00–8:30 p.m. in the Fellowship Hall. Contact Pam Lepley for more information or to sign up. Lifespan Religious Education Children and youth will begin every second Sunday to have a story time with Rev. Lisa in the worship service. Spring RE curriculum will focus on World Religions. The YRUU youth group for high schoolers will go to lunch together on February 3 in lieu of their regular first Sunday night meeting. If you have any questions or would like to volunteer to teach—or to lead a project—then I would love to hear from you. In Peace, Pam Lepley

February Birthdays 5 15 16 18 18 20 24 28

Ed Robson Himanshu Gopalan Al Sutton Warren Jones Maree McKenzie Kory Garretson Sharon Adler Genevieve Wroblewski

Please contact Al Sutton at 659-5604/ or Caron Armstrong at 659-0331/ if you’d like your name included. on the list.

Fellowship Matters: February 2013


Americans United Americans United for Separation of Church and State will meet on Tuesday, February 26, at Oscar’s Grille, which is located in Sherwood Plaza on Robinhood Road. The meeting time is 6:30 p.m., and those wanting to order dinner usually begin gathering at 6:00. Jim Moury, outgoing president of FACT (Forsyth Area Critical Thinkers), will be presenting our program. He will be speaking on the history and purpose of FACT and presenting an introduction to the Triad Coalition of Reason. To date, FACT and our local AU chapter have worked together on two events, the Katherine Stewart program at Wake Forest and Steven Hewett’s flag raising at the Veterans Memorial at King, NC. Everyone is welcome to attend.

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Lunch Bunch: The Lunch Bunch will dine at The Tavern in Old Salem, at 736 South Main Street, on Tuesday, February 12, 2013, at 11:30 a.m. Under relatively new ownership, The Tavern has gotten great reviews for its locally sourced foods and Southern charm. For a sneak peek at the menu, visit RSVP to LaTonya Richardson at 336-725-3131 or

The Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of WinstonSalem is an inclusive, supportive community of spiritual freedom, evolving wisdom and ethical action. Minister The Rev. Lisa Romantum Schwartz (336) 659–0331 President Karen Cross (336) 813–2401 Lifespan Religious Education Director Pam Lepley (336) 884–0428 Music Director Mignon Dobbins (336) 777–8007

Book Club The UUFWS Book Club will meet on Tuesday, February 19, at 1:30 p.m. in the Fellowship Library. The selection for this meeting is A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry. Please join is for a lively discussion. Questions may be directed to Barbara Roberts at 727-1372 or

UUFWS Board of Directors President Karen Cross Assistant President Steve Weston Treasurer Mary Law FCC Chair Judy Shepherd Secretary Steve Tuch Youth Representative Meredith Loew At-Large Members Eileen Barley Alberto Carillo Richard Creed Ken Ostberg Becky Pagett

Business Manager Cathy Kelley (336) 659–0331 Member/Volunteer Coordinator Caron Armstrong (336) 659–0331 Newsletter Editor Kathy Salkin

The Newsletter Deadline for the March 2013 newsletter is Sunday, February 17. Please submit all articles to by 11:00 pm.

Fellowship Matters: February 2013

The Gift of the Month for Crisis Control Ministry is 100% fruit juice. The ministry’s pantries are also running critically low on the following items: cooking oil, grits, jelly, rice, deodorant, and shampoo. All donations are welcome!

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February 2013 Sunday





Friday 1:00pm Connections Meeting 6:30pm Potluck

9:00am Forum 10:30am Worship Service 12:00pm OWL Middle School Classes 12:30pm Connections

3 2:00pm Talk Back! 4 6:30pm 5 7:00pm Choir 2:30pm Connections Connections 7:00pm Worship Committee 7:00pm Drumming

9:00am Forum 10 12:30pm Senior 11 Group 10:30am Worship Service 7:00pm Soul Talk 11:45am Art Gallery Receiving 12:00pm FCC Meeting 12:00pm OWL Middle School Classes 12:00pm Soc Act Mtg

11:30am Lunch 12 6:30pm Finance Bunch Meeting 1:00pm Needlers 7:00pm Choir 7:00pm Drumming

9:00am Forum 17 2:00pm Talk 18 1:30pm Book 19 Back! Club 10:30am Worship Service 2:30pm Connections 6:30pm Connections 12:00pm Mktg. 7:00pm Drumming Comm. 12:30pm Connections 4:00pm Installation 5:00pm YRUU 5:00pm Soulful Sundown 11:00pm News Deadline

6 9:00am Coffee 7 6:00pm Cabaret Chat Fundraiser 12:00pm Care Com. 6:30pm Our American Roots

13 9:00am Coffee Chat

1:00pm Artwork 20 Hanging 7:00pm Board Mtg 7:00pm Choir

9:00am Forum 24 7:00pm Soul Talk 25 1:00pm Needlers 26 7:00pm Memb. Comm. 10:30am Worship 6:30pm AU Service 7:00pm Drumming 7:00pm Choir 11:45am Opening Reception for Artwork 12:00pm OWL Middle School Classes 6:00pm Oxtail Dinner

9:00am Coffee Chat 6:30pm Our American Roots

27 9:00am Coffee Chat 6:30pm Our American Roots

Saturday 1 10:00am Connections


8 10:00am Memorial 9 Service



21 7:30pm Path/Moon*

22 8:00am Prep for 23 Membership meeting 9:00am "Pathways to Meaningful Membership" 12:00pm Prep for Oxtail Dinner



February Calendar Coffee: 8:45 to 9:00 a.m.

Feb. 3:

Michael Hughes will lecture on Civil Disobedience: Expression of or Threat to Democracy?

Feb. 10:

Linnea Johnson will discuss her work with earthquake victims in Haiti.

Feb. 17:

Joy Irwin, Andrea Morrison, and Katherine Acenas will present a program they’ve titled All About General Assembly: What to Expect in Louisville This Year.

Feb. 24:

Don Woodward will lead a discussion of current events.

Discussion: 9:00 to 10:00 a.m.

Sunday Services & Youth Religious Education 10:30 a.m to 11:45 a.m.

If you have questions, comments, or suggestions about the Forum, please contact Ken Ostberg, the Forum organizer, at 391-2752 or at

UUFWS Website: UUFWS Facebook Group

The Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Winston-Salem 4055 Robinhood Road Winston-Salem, NC 27106 Phone: (336) 659–0331 Fax: (336) 659–0336 E-mail: Website:

Fellowship Matters: February 2013

Non-Profit Organization U.S. Postage Paid Winston-Salem, NC Permit No. 340

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Fellowship Matters  

Newsletter of the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

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