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Wandering Beast

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University of Maine at Presque Isle Volume 41 Issue 10

Digging Up Bones

Journalism for Northern Maine

Visit us at utimes.umpi.edu

APRIL 1, 2013

A New Vision for UMPI: Bringing the West to Maine

Since I became president of UMPI last summer, I have been talking with colleagues here in Maine and across the nation about a new vision for UMPI, one that will draw students from far and near to the campus. The

their clothes. When students graduate, they will get a cowboy/girl hat instead of a mortar board. Mortar boards really can’t be worn after graduation. But the new hats can be worn for years as a reminder of their time on campus. To make getting around cam-

new vision, unique yet tied closely to our national heritage, came to me in a dream last Thursday night, after watching reruns of “Dallas” and “Bonanza” shortly before bedtime. UMPI will become the first university in the nation to model itself on the heralded tradition of the western farmer and rancher. UMPI WEST—The University of Maine at Presque Isle: Where Everyone Stands Tall)—will have new traditions to reinforce the university’s new identity. When students gain admission, they will get a pair of cowboy/girl boots. These will not only help them walk through the Maine snow. They will ensure that they “stand tall” and can step through manure piles without soiling

pus easier, there will be a stable of horses on the west side of campus. Any student who needs a ride can use them. Hitching posts will be installed outside of the major classroom buildings. Students can simply tie up their ride there until another student comes along needing to ride i to another part of campus. The horses are a gift from legendary Texas oilman T. Boone Pickens. In grateful acknowledgement of this gift, Preble Hall will be renamed Pickens Hall and a replica of an oil derrick will be erected in the middle of the Centennial Garden. A small herd of cattle, formerly on my cattle ranch in Texas, will graze on the UMPI campus, eliminating the need

Linda Schott CONTRIBUTOR

for costly mowing and fertilizing of the grounds. The herd’s longhorn bull will become the new UMPI mascot. Longhorns are much sturdier than snowy owls and are able to protect themselves from predators. The new mascot will be on the sidelines for all home soccer and basketball games. (An added benefit for some lucky student will be the creation of a new work-study position to “scoop the poops” and keep the games odor-free.) Each dormitory will have its own chicken coop. Residents of the dorm will be responsible for feeding the chickens, collecting the eggs and getting them safely to the kitchen staff at Kelly Commons. A big thank-you to UMPI’s own Ril Stevens for donating the chickens and agreeing to provide free lessons in chicken care to the students. Western ranches aren’t all work and neither will be UMPIWEST. Vanessa Pearson, student activity coordinator, has already indicated her enthusiasm for weekly square dances and at least one tractor pull each fall and spring semester. “I know that square dancing will foster closer personal relationships and crosscultural understanding,” Vanessa told me last week. “And the tractor pulls will just be good oldfashioned fun!” Another fun addition to campus will be a motocross course, where my family and I, as well as all UMPI faculty, staff and students, can race and watch others race. (Additional details

on this can be found in the accompanying story by Lisa Van Pelt) Because UMPI-WEST will draw large numbers of new students to campus, we will need to ensure that the campus remains peaceful. Hence our current security officer, Fred Thomas, will spend next summer training with the Texas Rangers. When first offered this opportunity, Fred responded, “Golly gosh darn, what an honor that will be!” Last but certainly not least, UMPI’s academic programs will change to be consistent with the institution’s new western identity. Vice President for Academic Affairs, Dr. Mike Sonntag, will work closely with faculty members to give a western flavor to our programs. Criminal Justice, for

example, will have new internships with the Texas Rangers. Athletic Training students will have opportunities to work with members of the San Antonio Spurs and the Dallas Cowboys. Business faculty member Caroline Dorsey is working to

bring former Enron executives to campus to lecture on business ethics. Heather Sincavage, director of the Reed Art Gallery, has already arranged for the National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum to send one exhibit per year to the gallery. Finally, Dr. Ray Rice and other English faculty will create a new unit for freshman composition to teach students the correct usage of “ya’ll.” This right up the alley for UMPI’s Journalist in Residence, Darrell Dorgan. Dorgan was formerly head of the North Dakota Cowboy Hall of Fame. He now makes award-winning Western documentaries. He’ll be filming UMPI’s transformation. PBS will broadcast the world premiere on most of its stations. Perhaps most excited of all current UMPI staff about the new vision for UMPI is Erin Benson, director of admissions. “No other admissions recruiter in the country will be able to offer a package like ours—free horseback rides, motocross and fresh eggs! I can’t wait to hit the road to tell potential students about UMPIWEST. Yahooo!” The possibilities for UMPIWEST are endless, just like the western horizon itself. I invite ya’ll to be part of bringing the West to Maine!


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The University Times Staff Editor Lanette Virtanen Assistant Editor Kayla Ames Stephanie Jellett

Staff Writers Kayla Ames Chris Bowden Nicole Duplessis Stephanie Jellett Elissa McNeil Mika Ouellette Lanette Virtanen Kelsey Wood Kathleen York

Contributors Ethan Campbell Chris Cosenze Dena Dudley John McKenzie Nicole Moore Linda Schott Jessica Stepp Jim Stepp Lisa Van Pelt Ariel Warne Bonnie Wylder

Adviser Dr. J The U Times welcomes submissions from the campus. Send digital versions of articles, photos, etc., to utimes@maine.edu and jacquelyn.lowman@umpi.edu

University Times

ampus

Dear readers, This past week has been full of surprises. Stephanie Jellett has decided to leave us and stay in Philly. Weʼll miss her here at the newspaper and we wish her the best of luck. On a much brighter note, Iʼve been offered a full-time postition and will be leaving for Wisconsin right after I graduate in May. While visiting my family this past summer in Racine, I checked out the local paper and liked what I saw. I sent them my resume and a portfolio of my work here on the U Times and they called right away. I want to thank everyone here at UMPI for helping me and giving me a new direction. A special thanks goes to Erin Benson who introduced me to the U Times and to Dr. J who believed in me enough to make me the editor of the U Times for four years. Until then, Iʼll see you around campus. Lanette

April 1, 2013

Greetings, Iʼll start off by saying “Howdy!” I want to keep with one of our themes here. As youʼll soon learn, it looks like UMPI will be experiencing quite a few changes in the days, weeks and months to come. Iʼm looking forward to this shift, this return to our roots. It sounds like an exciting and challenging opportunity, even if it does come with certain...drawbacks. Iʼve written a few articles about Theodore Roosevelt in the past. He was someone who relished the outdoors, classic adventure and the Western lifestyle. Iʼm also repeatedly amazed by his skills as an orator. He said “Far and away, the best prize life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” I think this is one of those chances. So, yeehaw, faithful readers! Letʼs ride off into the sunset. Thank you, Kayla

Hi everybody! I hope you all enjoyed break. I know I sure did, I really needed the relaxation! As most of you know, back in March I took a trip to Philadelphia with my Women in Art class for the weekend. Well, surprise! Iʼm writting to you from Philly! I didnʼt leave. I love it so much here. I decided to put school on hold and find a job that will pay me in cash so I can afford to stay at a hotel. So far, I havenʼt found any place, but Iʼm hoping to check out the zoo tomorrow to see if they need extra people to clean out the enclosures. I really hope that works out, Iʼve always wanted to work at a zoo! This will be my last letter, considering Iʼve left my position as assistant editor. Iʼll see you all this fall! Stephanie

D at es for S ubmissio ns t o the U Ti me s

April 15

April 29

Any submissions received after a deadline will be published in the following issue. If you have any questions, please contact Dr. Lowman at 768-9745.


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Jim’s Journal UMPI to Get New Ship I would like to be the first to tell all of the members of the UMPI community that we have bought a ship. That’s right: we have bought a new 117 foot long touring ship to aid our students in exploring the world. In order to attract more students, UMPI has added the asyet-to-be-named ship to its course offering. Seniors will all have the opportunity to travel for credit during their fall term. The ship will have class space so that the students taking advantage of the ship will be able to take a full load of classes while sailing the world. Erin Benson, director of admissions, feels that the ship will be a great addition to UMPI. When asked about the ship, Benson said, “The ship will give our students the

chance to travel and discover the world. The ship should make my staff ’s work a lot

the Aroostook Centre Mall and will travel down the Aroostook River and the St. John River to

easier. Many of the prospective UMPI students want to travel and the ship will permit this to happen.” The ship will be docked by

get to the Atlantic Ocean. Once on the Atlantic, the ship will travel to various sites to augment the course offerings on the ship. A sample cruise will

include stops in Green land and Iceland to study geology. There will be stops in England, France and Germany to cover World History - 1930 to 1945. The art class on the ship will make stops in Italy and Greece to study ancient art in the G re c o - Ro m a n World. The ship will continue on to the Middle East to cover comparative religions in Greece, Israel, India and China. While in China and Japan, students will continue work on World History – 1930 to 1945. A stop in

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Antarctica will permit studies of glacial geology. The final stop will be in Florida so that students can unwind on the beaches before sailing back up the Aroostook River. Several faculty and staff members have volunteered to accompany the students on these trips. Currently a lottery is being set up to see who will be able to accompany the students. So in addition to the National Student Exchange program, the ship will give you a chance to travel during your college experience. To sign up for the ship cruise, stop by Meg Lightbown’s office in South Hall. Once you fill out your application, you will be asked to see your advisor to schedule your classes. The deadline to sign up for the ship is April 1.

Underwater Adventure Club Student Senate has recently Jessica Stepp CONTRIBUTOR

approved a new club! The Underwater Adventure Club is a scuba diving club created by Leah Rodriguez, who’s now president and Jessica Stepp, who is now senator. “We started the club because we wanted people to see something new on campus,” Stepp said. In making the new club, Rodriguez and Stepp used the rest of the Student Activities Fund! “We wanted to do everything we could to start this club,” Rodriguez said. “We worked hard to convince all the senators to vote for this. The hardest person to convince was Jeff Rhoads.”

Jeff Rhoads, the current interim treasurer for Student Senate, said, “As treasurer, I was forced into giving all the remaining SAF to this new club. I had no choice. I was promised gifts. I never received any.” The club meets every Saturday of the month from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Each Saturday has a different theme and goal. Meeting locations vary and those that take place on the first Saturday are called, “A Day Away.” The main goal of going away is to get a break and to experience different diving opportunities. For instance, over February break, Stepp and Rodriguez—along with Vanessa Pearson (the club’s advisor) went to Florida. In April, the group will be traveling to Hawaii.

The second Saturday is called “Money Diving.” During this event, boxes with different amounts of money will be placed at the bottom of a pool. The boxes are small and covered with black tape. Students dive down to and grab them. They get to keep whatever money they find. “People from Water World” is how members reference the third Saturday. This is when they get to meet someone who is famous and knows about water sports. Rodriguez picked the first speaker, James Cameron, who directed the blockbuster movie, Titanic. Nothing has been confirmed yet, but Cameron hopes to bring a replica of the Heart of the Ocean Diamond. The replica will be placed into the

pool while no one is looking. The first student to find the diamond gets to keep it. “Scuba Lessons” will take place every fourth Saturday. Members will be have lessons from Scott Belair. Belair is currently a GIS student and a former Navy Seal. He has extensive training in diving and underwater techniques. He’s very excited about this new club and can’t wait to get in the water. Whenever there’s a fifth Saturday, it will be “Open Dive Day,” where everyone just comes to have fun scuba diving and swimming. Stepp and Rodriguez hope everyone will come out and try diving at least once. You don’t have to know how to scuba dive because they’ll always have someone on

hand who knows how to do it and can give lessons. They hope to see you on April 13 for the first club meeting!


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BIG FOOT SIGHTINGS ON CAMPUS! BEWARE!

The last few weeks, there have been sightings on campus and around the community of a strange, tall and hairy creature. It始s believed to be Big Foot. Students have provided the U Times with these images. If you have further information or have photos, please contact the U Times at: (207)768-9741.

Resident Assistant from Merriman Hall, Amos Ward, spotted Big Foot wandering around the parking lot late one evening and decided to put a stop to this madness. Unfortunately, Big Foot manuevered out his Ward始s grip and escaped. Big Foot is still roaming around the area.


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Attention UMPI Students! Ameican Idol to host Season 13 auditions in Maine at Wieden Auditorium.

Auditions to take place in July. More information to come!

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Owl a la King? Kayla Ames STAFF WRITER

If you were walking to class on Friday, March 29, you might have passed by an unusual scene. A young woman had chained herself to the recently installed owl sculpture outside FolsomPullen Hall and the spectacle had caused a crowd to form. Jenn Lona, the woman in question, is a resident of Limington, Maine. She graduated from UMPI several years ago and returned in the hopes of drawing attention to an issue she considers very important. The sculpture she used in her demonstration was installed prior to September of last year and dedicated during that month. She noticed it after visiting campus earlier this winter and decided it would serve her purpose perfectly. She just had to wait for it to warm up. “I decided I would do it after spring had officially set in,” Lona said in an interview following the protest. “I’m tough, but I’m not that tough. Besides, the warmer it is, the more people there will be outside. And that means more of my fellow students will hear what I have to say.” So, what was she protesting? According to Lona, two different schools in Maine and several in

other parts of the world have begun using owl meat in their meals. The owls are most often found dead or raised on farms, similar to trout or chinchillas. They’re becoming an increasingly popular resource because they’re a cheap meat supplement and people don’t tend to notice when they go missing. “I’ve been to an owl farm before. I remember lots of feathers. And one almost attacked me. Still, they don’t deserve this. I want them to be where they belong: in the wild,” Lona said. This matches her slogan, which she shouted as people walked by: “Let the birds fly free! No owl meat for you or me!” She wanted to get her message across as quickly as possible, since a lot of passersby just sped up when they saw her. She also hoped to draw them in. Lona made fliers for anyone interested in helping the cause. They provided shocking statistics as well as places concerned citizens can go to learn more. Since she was chained, she couldn’t hand them out. Rather, she described them and motioned for everyone to take as many as they wanted. Lona reassured her audience that UMPI hasn’t been serving anyone dishes containing owl meat. She chose this campus because of the owl sculpture

and because she feels we have more reason to be concerned about these particular birds. “UMPI’s mascot is an owl. It’s part of our identity. Who better to help me?!” Lona said. Many faculty and staff, not to mention fellow students, remember Lona for her passion and interest in the environment. They say she was always willing to stand up for her beliefs. They were still surprised, though, when they saw her that Friday. “I hadn’t seen her in a while, then she appears, doing this. I agree with her, now that I know the truth. At the time, I was worried about her catching cold or being taken away. And she said she had a snowy owl mask in her bag. She wanted me to help her put it on. I declined, but let her know she had our support,” said a staff member who asked that their name be kept secret. Authorities were hoping Lona would give up and go home and that the matter would be resolved peacefully. For the most part, it was. She didn’t leave entirely on her own. They had to convince her and remove the chains before she agreed to leave campus. She threw a handful of fliers behind her for the few remaining bystanders and shouted her slogan one last time before being successfully escorted off the

premises. In regards to plans for the future, Lona says she will create a website and do everything she can think of in order

selves. Either one,” Lona said. For now, Lona has hung up her snowy owl mask and packed the chains away. Who

to save more owls. “I’m considering camping out in the woods and chasing anyone threatening away. Or trying to train the owls to protect them-

knows? After it warms up some more, we might see her again in the forest surrounding UMPI, still spreading the word in unconventional ways.

The Women in Art History class took a trip to Philly March 14 to visit the art museums in the area. Heather Sincavage, one of the supervisors of the trip, ditched the group of students one eveing. The students found it odd, but Sincavage claims there was a perfectly good reason behind it all. “I was feeling inspired by all the artwork I had seen throughout our trip. Going out would have been dull, so I decided to get creative on the school van,” Sincavage said. Students came back from a night on the town to a newly decorated school van, and a new kitten picked up by Sincavage. Shocked and impressed, they wondered what people back at UMPI would think. Not only about the van, but also the new member of the crew Sincavage decided to bring back.


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Aroostook Farm Losing 325 Acres Lisa Van Pelt

that 325 acres had been sold. The land and a few of the outbuildings were to be vacated by April 1, 2013. No other details were given. Several phone calls to the president’s office went

CONTRIBUTOR

record. The land was sold to UMPI President Linda Schott. Officials from Aroostook Farm called and met with Schott on March 5, 2013, at 7 p.m. During the meeting, Schott

Just up the road from campus lies the heartbeat of the University of Maine at Presque Isle’s agricultural, forestry and College of Sciences programs. It’s Aroostook Farm, a place that some students call home. It is one of the largest experimental farms owned by the University of Maine. On the 425 acres is a research facility, laboratory and 2,800 square foot greenhouse. These are just three of the many buildings used by students every day. Four weeks ago, the farm received a certified letter Proposed motocross track layout. from the office of the University of Maine at unanswered at that time. told Aroostook Farm officials Presque Isle president. The letOn March 2, 2013, the pur- that she had purchased the land ter notified farm staff members chase became part of the public privately from the university.

Schott said, “I understand the importance of the land. I need, however, to keep revenue coming into UMPI. Bringing in new programs and people to our campus is always a priority. We’re going to develop the land for the sport of Motocross.” She went on to say, “I am an avid fan of the sport. The new site will bring in racing competitions from around the country. UMPI and local businesses will see an increase in revenue.” Plans were already underway to modify the barn, main office building and greenhouse. The main office building will become housing for visiting competitors. The barn will become a retail shop selling Motocross gear. The greenhouse will become a deli/cafe. Construction of Motocross

trails on the 325 acres will begin after May 1, 2013. In closing remarks, Schott said, “I grew up on a cattle ranch in Texas. I adore wide open spaces. Texas is where I found the love of Motocross. My children Jack, Michael and Virginia are following in my footsteps. Since our move here, we have not had the chance to ride. This land will bring in revenue to UMPI. It will also support local businesses. And, last, it will enable my family to enjoy one of our passions.” Aroostook Farm officials have no choice. They must begin the search for a new facility. But it will be a tall order to house the students and programs misplaced by the private purchase.

Olive Garden, Chili’s or Buffalo Wild Wings Sports Bar,” Stepp said. Students living in Lambert Hall will be given 500 declining dollars to spend at any of these restaurants. Students who are not residents of Lambert Hall will be allowed to access the food court, but will have to pay with cash or some sort of debit card. This food court will be open to the public, since UMPI has every intention of making this addition beneficial to the community as well. “The new building is expected to cost between $8 and $9 million and should be completed for fall 2014,” Stepp said. Because it is a luxurious and modern building, it will be a perk to live there. Those students with a 3.0 grade point average or higher will be the only ones considered. An application process will be necessary, and the applications will be released in March of 2014.

Since the cost of construction is so high, down payments are also necessary from students who are accepted. A $3,500 down payment is mandatory upon signing the housing agreement. Introducing a new dorm building to the UMPI campus will be great for the life of the students as well as the reputation of the college. Dedication of this building to Miranda Lambert is a wonderful way to bring new faces and a variety of people to the area, as well as Lambert herself. Upon the grand opening of the new dorm, Lambert will join UMPI in celebration. She’ll cut the red ribbon to make it official. This is an amazing experience for students, faculty, staff and community members alike. It’s not every day that a luxurious dorm building and a Grammy Award winning celebrity become part of a small town campus.

Grammy Award Dorm

Nicole Duplessis STAFF WRITER

Park, Emerson and Merriman halls are the only dorm buildings UMPI has ever known. This is about to change, however. With a recent decision made and plans for construction set in stone, UMPI will be introducing a new dorm building within the next year. It will be more extravagant, luxurious and entertaining than any other building on campus. The new dorm building is to be named Lambert Hall. It is being dedicated to the famous Miranda Lambert, who completed her first and only semester of college here at UMPI in 2001. Lambert was here for such a short period of time due to her life-changing first musical recording in 2001. But UMPI would like to keep her here for a lifetime. Lambert has donated an astounding sum of $4 million to help with the

cost of construction. She is truly touched by this dedication. Lambert is further delighted that her presence on this campus will always be remembered and treasured. “We are looking to build a new residence hall that will hold 400 students in single rooms with all the amenities of a hotel, including a 40 person hot tub in the basement,” Jim Stepp, director of residence life and

inch televisions, stackable washer and dryer and full-size refrigerators are only a few of the extravagant things to be included in every room. Room service will be offered daily, as well, from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Menus will be delivered on a daily basis. Aside from the luxurious rooms, Lambert Hall will also include additions that no other dorm has.

assistant dean of students, said. Each room will come fully furnished with the feel of a hotel suite. King-sized beds, 50

“Not only will the basement house a large hot tub. It will also contain a food court where students can choose to dine at


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Secrets Buried Beneath the Floors Kelsey Wood STAFF WRITER

A secret floor was discovered in Merriman Hall late on the night of Friday, March 1. Dorm resident Allison Donahue made the discovery when taking the elevator to the first floor. She was planning on meeting her friend, Joseph Paolucci, in the first floor lounge. That’s when she noticed that a door was open that had always been locked before. “Allie had a huge smile on her face when she finally came into the lounge. She told me I had to go with her. She grabbed my arm and pretty much dragged me to the door,“ Paolucci said later. The door that Donahue found led to a floor beneath the basement of Merriman. After going through the door, Donahue found a treasure of hidden secrets that the school wouldn’t want anyone to know. The secret floor contained

alchemy equipment, with a range of chemicals. One of the professors—at the time they couldn’t be sure who—seemed to be working on eternal life. One of the beakers contained a silver liquid over a burner at the time of Donahue’s discovery. “It was weird but exciting. My heart was racing so fast. I didn’t want to get caught down there. But I was too curious to leave,“ Donahue said. When she returned with Paolucci, she noticed that something had been moved and changed. The silver liquid had been removed from the burner. “I was so freaked that someone else was there with us,” she said. They looked around the floor and found shelves with alchemy books, tables covered in notes and things stored in bottles. Neither dared

move anything in fear of something bad happening. “It was such a creepy place,“ Donahue said. “Like a haunted

Eerie or not, the door has since been locked back up. When Donahue and Paolucci asked physical plant

house. At one point I just wanted to cry.”

about the door, no one knew what they were talking about.

Staff members had no record of such a door. They have no keys for it. Charlie Bonin, vice president of administration and finance, oversees the buildings on campus. He decided to dig further. Bonin said, “I searched back through our old records. They indicate that that sub basement was walled off years ago. I have no idea who unblocked it. Security is investigating to get to the bottom of this.” Donahue and Paolucci keep talking about that hidden floor. The floor held secrets about someone’s actions. Although they fear being hurt, they want to tell everyone about the discovery. They hope to find who was hiding down there. So they keep their eyes open for the door to be opened again.

UMPI to Hold First Official Séance Dena Dudley (Joseph) STAFF WRITER

Today, the fourth floor of Normal Hall will be evacuated. Due to the growing number of concerns about paranormal activity from students and faculty, the entire floor will be blocked off between the hours of 9 a.m. and 12 p.m. A local medium will be brought in to perform and lead a séance. The séance will be used as a last attempt to communicate with the alleged spirits in Normal Hall. If the séance fails, the university will be faced with possibly closing off the fourth floor permanently. “UMPI places its top priority in our students’ safety. This is why we are considering

going to extreme measures to make the fourth floor safe again. Plus, that place is creepy,” Dean of Students Jim Stepp said. The séance is the result of the many complaints Jim Stepp and previous deans have received over the years. Reports of chills, voices, footsteps and shadows have all become the norm. One report stated a shadow of a female can be spotted during early morning hours. It has come to the point where many students fear seeing their academic advisors. “It’s just so cold. So, so cold. And so old. It even smells old. I never go up alone,” Krista Stevens said. Many faculty have been begging for their offices to be moved, but to no avail.

Some students remain skeptical. Some on campus specu-

there, trust me.” The medium will be con-

late that the medium is a plot for faculty to score new offices. “That is absolutely not true,” Jim Stepp said. “Plus, if we close down the fourth floor, they’ll all be placed in a basement. Nobody wants to go

ducting a leader-assisted séance with faculty of the fourth floor. Only the faculty will be allowed to be present. “The faculty are the ones who have dealt personally with these spirits on a daily basis for

many years. They are the only ones the spirits will feel comfortable talking to,” the medium said. The medium, who wishes to remain anonymous, has been in the business of the afterlife for 15 years. She claims that the fourth floor is the most active site she’s been to in several years. But there is hope. “They’ve been very eager to communicate. I think they’re bored,” the medium said. She expects the séance to be a success, due to the positive energy of the spirits. She claims that the fourth floor spirits are not threatening in nature and are likely to cooperate. “One spirit is simply a former student who can’t figure out where his dorm went,” the medium said.


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Coach Smith: Dinosaurs in UMPI’s Goodbye Backyard UMPI, Hello Olympics Stephanie Jellett STAFF WRITER

Christopher Bowden STAFF WRITER

Christopher Smith, the face behind UMPI Cross Country since 1987, will be saying goodbye as he plans to start training for the

2016 Olympic summer games in Rio De Janeiro. Smith will be heavily missed by the school as he is also the associate director of Wieden Hall. The road to the Olympics has been tough for Smith as he has battled multiple injuries. When asked how he’s been preparing himself, Smith said, “A lot of injuries have been managed along with running 120 miles a week in the past year.” Smith has been able to manage his injuries, no matter how many he has at the time. Smith is managing four current injuries: Achilles tendinitis, a ham-

string tear, fractured right fifth metatarsal and a fourth degree sprain of his left bisnatchural junction. When asked how he coped, Smith was stoic. “All injuries are currently being managed. I will be able to participate in the Olympics as long as I can get my root canal finished up,” Smith said. How is Smith’s family taking all this? “My wife at first thought it was all in my mind,” Smith said. Smith, however is now sure he has her pretty well convinced he’ll be able to not only compete but even have a chance to capture the gold in any one of the six events he’s competing in. Smith is scheduled to compete in the 400m, 800m, 1500m, along with the marathon. Smith is also a projected top seed in the 20km race-walk event. The 2016 Olympic summer games in Rio De Janeiro are still more than three year s away. Smith still has to manage his current injuries. He will also be forced to say to goodbye to UMPI as he begins training full time. This is something that saddens Smith deeply. It’s all worth it, however, as he has a chance to re present the United States at the Olympic Games.

This past summer, paleontologist Dr. Micheal Schuemer came to visit UMPI for a rather interesting reason. Why are we only hearing about this now? Dr. Schuemer is back on campus and has proposed to President Schott to add a new upper-level class: Archaeology 496. When on a Canada-United States tour tracking the migration of the Xenoceratops foremostensis that roamed the Earth 80 million years ago, Scheumer discovered the path led him to northern Maine. The Xenoceratops foremostensis, is a named derived from the Greek word “alienhorned face” and resembles the triceratops, but with more horns. The species mostly lived in what’s now southern Alberta, and scientists have discovered skull and neck bone fragments throughout the past year. “When the trail led me to Presque Isle, I tried looking for open spaces and specific types of rocks” Schuemer

said. “I got permission to check different farmer’s fields, which brought me right behind the soccer field at UMPI.” People are saying that Dr. Schuemer made one of the greatest discoveries in all of Maine’s archaeological history. When searching the grounds by the soccer field, he had to first walk around and examine the ground while looking at geological graphs of the terrain type. “I couldn’t believe it when I found a rock with a xenoceratops foremostensis fossil in it,” Schuemer said. “I was in shock.” After Dr. Schuemer brought the rock back to his traveling lab, he discovered it contained part of a horn. Excited, he called his crew from the Cleveland Museum of Natural History and decided to start an archaeological dig this summer, but also make it an educational experience for students at UMPI by turning it into a class. “I think this is a great idea. I can’t believe the discovery

that Dr. Schuemer has made here at UMPI. It’s truly remarkable,” President Schott said. The dig will start mid-June and last until mid-August. Students will dig up the soccer field, which will result in the soccer teams having to practice and have games at the middle school for the season. Many people have already showed interest in taking the class by talking to President Scott about it. “I’m so excited to take this class. It’s going to be amazing to have hands-on experience right in UMPI’s backyard. I can’t believe there are fossils here,” Derrick Haines, who is a biology senior, said. This summer will go down in history for Maine and UMPI. Paleontologists from around the world will be coming to help with the dig as well, putting northern Maine in the spotlight. Dr. Schuemer and his team are excited for the snow to melt so they can start digging up discoveries and making history.


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What You Don’t Know About Vegetarians Ethan Campbell CONTRIBUTOR

You may not have noticed, but the trend in vegetarianism on campus is growing. Like a weed in the garden of variety, the cafeteria is making attempts at adding more fruits and veggies to the menu. The changes are subtle, but something is happening on campus and it all started with a vegetarian. Sarah Taylor has been a vegetarian ever since being on campus. Any hints concerning her past before college led to a dead end. Despite being normally quiet in public, there is something working behind the scenes more sinister than anyone could have imagined.

When asked about the increasing trend of vegetarianism on campus, she replied

with a smile. Moving forward in the interview, she was

about what vegetarianism meant to her. Taylor said, “Vegetarianism means abstaining from animal consumption. I don’t eat any animal parts.” During the interview, two more vegetarians walked into the meeting, and Taylor introduced them. Kevin Crockett, a newly turned vegetarian, has been part of the culture since the beginning of the semester. Taylor said, “It started as a bet, but has changed his life for the better.” Crockett, as she said this, stood by her side.

Ryan Ouellette, the more vocal of Taylor’s two friends, said he’s been a vegetarian for only four weeks. When asked why he decided to change his diet, Ouellette only said, “She is our siren.” This in reference to Taylor. There was clearly something else going on. Leading the questions back to Taylor, the thought of her on-campus job was raised. Taylor said, “I’ve been part of the janitorial staff for three years. I’ve built connections and can kind of do my own thing.” Curiosity led the conversation to ask what kind of “things” she did. She simply responded with a smile and said, “Things.” Ending the interview, further investigating was required. There were too many ques-

Sinister Turbine? Elissa McNeil STAFF WRITER

You can see it everywhere in our community: the campus wind turbine tur ning serenely in the breeze. For many, it’s a reassuring sight. Little do they suspect that it could be making students mentally ill. Fever, memory loss and a ravenous appetite are some of the common symptoms. Some people have forgotten how to cook and do the daily things that people have done for decades. Driving a vehicle and even just walking seem to be a hard for those affected. They shuffle their feet and talk with a kind of twitch and groan instead of form-

ing sentences. Taking a walk in the woods is a usual thing, but not during the middle of the night. A former employee of physical plant, Rob St. Paul, told the staff on campus that he’d seen people wandering in the woods at night. St. Paul said, “There seems to be a kind of hypnotic trance it gives out.” The rumor is that the wind turbine’s rhythm makes a sonic wave that spreads across campus. But ironically it only affects the students. An eyewitness, John McKenzie, who is a campus security officer, said that he saw groups of UMPI students walking together from their buildings into the woods near the turbine.

“Some of them would just lie down and watch the blades move round and round for hours,” McKenzie said. He said that some would even be caught there in the morning, asleep and unaware of how they got to the turbine to begin with. Dean Jim Stepp has gone to Charlie Bonin, vice president for administration and finance. Bonin was instrumental and having the turbine built. Stepp reported the students’ unusual behavior. “You, know, Charlie, that I’m a scholar of astronomy and the paranormal. I know that it seems unlikely that the turbine could cause this. But I just can’t find another explanation,” Stepp said. Bonin listened patiently.

Then he smiled and said that he had a more logical reason. “I think that they’re just taking President Schott’s recommendation to go WESTward to heart. Have you noticed that you’re finding all the students on the west part of campus? That’s the one area that’s downwind from the president’s herd of longhorns. When the wind blows on these warm days, those cattle can smell pretty ripe.” So as you go about your business and you catch a glimpse of the wind turbine, have no fear. But don’t look up for too long – or you might walk in something that the longhorns left behind. For more on UMPIWEST, please see President Schott’s article.

tions without answers. So, the first place to check was the site of Taylor’s night job. With further examination, the University Times discovered that the cleaning product she had been using for her janitorial duty had traces of a mysterious substance. Not knowing what it was, we sent it for analysis. A lab result showed it to have properties of brain tampering. This substance in the cleaner had the power to make the brain believe it no longer needed to consume animal products. But all hope is not lost. Readers can still band together. Those who still believe in the eating of meat will go take a stand and tell the cafeteria their thoughts. And when all is said and done, there is hope that the cafeteria will get more meat.


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A Rainbow Library? Kathleen York STAFF WRITER

Have you ever wanted to check out a book from the library but haven’t been able to remember the title? Usually all you remember is the color and size of the book, and maybe the topic. “It was about this big, and it was red.” Not everyone wants to remember a bunch of letters and numbers that will just seem random and confusing if you don’t know the Librar y of Cong ress cataloging system. The UMPI library has finally decided that it’s high time for change. “We’re going to move everything around so that

books are chromatically ordered,” Nancy F letcher, head librarian at the UMPI library, said. “So all the books will be in order according to color and size from now on.” “We figured we’ll go in the order of the rainbow,” Michelle Greene, UMPI librarian, said. “Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, and then from smallest to largest. It’ll be much less confusing for patrons that way.” Virginia Fischer, UMPI library’s reference librarian in charge of gover nment documents, admitted that the change wouldn’t affect that area. But then she explained why the other

books would be ordered in such a seemingly odd way. “Whenever people come in asking for a book, they can remember the never Library of Congress call number on the spine. They always hold up their hands and say, ‘I know which book I want. It was this big and it had a blue cover with a picture of a person on a bicycle on it.’” The change will take several months and a lot of hard work from the work study students to make a reality. But in the end, it will be rewarding for any patrons who don’t want to write down a bunch of letters and numbers to find their books.

Murder at UMPI John McKenzie CONTRIBUTOR

While walking down north lot on the UMPI campus, student security officers Aiden Bothwell and Graham Jackson came across a large, black bag. As they walked over to it, they started hearing a muffled noise. Bothwell and Jackson reported that they were skeptical about continuing, but felt that it was necessary. As they approached, Jackson radioed

in to pro staff to stand by. The men grabbed the bag and pulled it back. As they pulled it back, the bag revealed a man. “Black hair, blue eyes. North lot. Call an ambulance!” Bothwell yelled over the radio. Within five minutes, there were an ambulance and three police on the scene. Bothwell and Jackson gave statements to the Presque Isle police. The police and paramedics

helped the man from the bag and unfastened his ar ms, legs, hands and mouth. The man said that he was struck by a car and driven over multiple times. The police asked him to give a statement and report exactly what happened. The man was unable to remember what was going on other than that he was hit by a car. He could not remember where he was, why he was there or even his name. The police searched him for an ID, but could not find any identification. They did not find a wallet or even a cell phone. But in his rear pocket, they did find a playing card. It was a king of hearts, also known as the “suicide king,” because he appears to be sticking his sword into his heard. Although they didn’t think it was a clue or big deal, the police did take note of the card. While Jackson was reporting this to the police, another call over the radio came in.

“This is security 1. We need assistance at the wind turbine. We have a white

male with no ID and he is not responding.” Instantly Bothwell, Jackson and two police officers went rushing up to the turbine. As they were going up the path to the turbine, Bothwell identified security officer 17 to the police as Kevin Blood. One police officer and Jackson went to the victim and the other officer and Bothwell went to Blood. The police took a statement from

Blood, but the victim was unconscious and the police thought he might be dead. They radioed for an ambulance and it rushed to the scene. As they put the man into the ambulance, Blood told the police that he found a card in the man’s pocket. As he handed it over to the police, Jackson said, “That’s the same face card that the other guy had.” They continued to put the man into the ambulance. And then Bothwell and Jackson rode back down to Campus Center with the police. As they did so, Bothwell glanced idly into the woods. “T here goes a man covered in blood!” Bothwell yelled. The police ran after him and apprehended him. At this time he is a prime suspect and the police have not released any more infor mation. If you have additional infor mation, please call 212-660-2245.


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Senior Class Trip Goes to the Animals Mika Ouellette STAFF WRITER

This past weekend, UMPI’s senior class went on their class trip to Moncton, New Brunswick. What started as an innocent trip to the Crystal Palace Amusement Park and Magnetic Hill Zoo turned into a senior prank that will not soon be forgotten. The seniors brought home some new friends they made while on their trip. During the last night of their trip, the students snuck animals from the zoo onto the bus disguised as human classmates. Once back home, the alleged new students’ costumes came off and they released the animals onto UMPI’s campus. The animals quickly took over, with alligators swimming in the Gentile pool, monkeys throwing food at students in the cafeteria and lions and tigers roaming the residence halls and classroom buildings. Although nobody was hurt, one UMPI professor, Dr. Jacqui Lowman, had a close encounter with one of the animals. “I was taking my dog out and, out of nowhere, a bear came up and tried to attack her. Luckily, we were able to get away in time, as I never stray too far from Normal Hall. I have never been more afraid in my life,” Lowman said.

After campus security came to check on the situation, they rounded up all of the students, who were running from the animals, and told them their punishment. Although they didn’t get suspended, the students had to gather the animals and build an ark. After they were on the ark, they were returned to the zoo. “We are definitely tightening security measures after this incident. We never thought we’d be the victim of a senior prank, but we’re glad nobody was hurt,” a representative from the zoo said. Along with the animals, UMPI’s senior class gave the ark to the city of Moncton as an apology gift. In return, the head zookeeper will attend the graduation ceremony in May and act as the guest speaker for the class. He said that he’s not upset but actually quite impressed with how well the seniors pulled off their prank and he plans to include this in his speech. Now things can return to normal. The animals are back where they belong and the senior class is, no doubt, eagerly awaiting graduation. If taking that big step forward wasn’t exciting enough, we also have this speech to look forward to. Plus, we have a new batch of wild memories of our time at UMPI.

A Pesky Resident Nicole Duplessis STAFF WRITER

Park Hall has been experiencing some weird and suspicious activity over the past few months. There’s been the usual flickering of lights and footsteps in the hall during the late hours of the night. It seems, however, that this spirit has a much different approach to causing residents fear. Scaring them doesn’t seem to be its goal, but rather distracting them from their studies. Resident Assistants have been holding weekly floor meetings in Park Hall. They’ve consistently asked students of any new occurrences they’ve had over the past week. “I’m becoming concerned about all of the residents in this building. They seem tired and distracted,” Abigail Poole, the resident assistant of the first floor, said. Tired they are, since the alleged spirit distracts them late into the night. “Late at night in the bathrooms, the ghost likes to turn on the hand dryers and keep some of us up,” Ashley Murray, a third floor resident of Park Hall, said. It’s strange to all of the residents that the spirit would rather distract them than

scare them. McKenzie Turner, also a resident of Park Hall, said, “Whenever I’m trying to study for a test, the ghost is always banging stuff around and playing pranks to try to distract me.” The resident assistants of Park Hall have discussed matters with Jim Stepp, since he’s the Director of Residence Life.

He’s convinced that the spirit is a past student of UMPI. “He must be a jealous soul,” Stepp said. It seems to be the only realistic answer for now. Any normal ghost would not be looking to distract students from their school work. It is thought, however, that whomever this spirit is did quite horrible with their school work while at UMPI. This student must have resided in Park Hall and feels that causing distractions to former students is a way of taking revenge. The Maine Ghost Hunters

NEW CLASS OFFERED THIS FALL: SCI 500: The Science of Batman Tu/Th: 2-3:15 p.m. Fol 224 Dr. D

from Portland, Maine are scheduled to do an investigation the week after April vacation. They will arrive April 8 and spend as much time as needed until this unusual haunting is solved. They’ll request to enter rooms of residents that have been affected by the spirit. They’ll also talk to other residents of Park Hall in order to receive the greatest amount of information possible. Until the ghost hunters arrive, the weekly meetings will continue. Sadly, residents will have to remain in the building and will not be offered alternate housing options. “We’re going to try our best to keep the residents’ minds off of the ghost. Individual meetings with the resident assistants will be offered until the ghost hunters arrive. It’s impossible for anyone to feel at ease in this building anymore,” Poole said. Until further notice, the ghost will remain a tease to the students in Park. Distracting them from their studies and causing ruckus during the late hours of the night will remain the routine—unless, of course, the spirit decides to smarten up.


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Texting Saves Lives

Bonnie Wylder CONTRIBUTOR

Texting has become a phenomenon that has overtaken almost every young person. Members of older generations try to get us to believe that it’s bad: that it could kill you; that it causes cancer; that it takes away from family time. How awful of them to try to convince us that texting is bad. There is nothing bad about it. It has improved the lives of us all— strengthening the U.S. as a nation. Texting has so many benefits. Without it, our society would be lost, deprived and divided. Just ask 16-year-old Michaela Nichols. Texting in school has been good for her. Talking during class is considered rude and would get her in trouble. By texting, she considers others before herself—keeping a quiet environment and respecting her teachers. Texting has developed great multitasking skills for Nichols. She can walk, talk, listen and

text—all at the same time. Her mother really appreciates this when it’s homework time. Texting also has built her finger strength, moving muscles that

more honest and she doesn’t have to feel the pressure she used to. With texting, Nichols doesn’t have to respond right away—or at all. Unlike with a

huge success, saving Nichols time and energy even while she drives. Many people argue that texting lacks emotion and human interaction. But in fact,

weren’t being used before she got her cell phone. With texting, Nichols has grown so much closer to friends. Naturally shy, she feels she can be much more open and honest with other people when she doesn’t have to be face to face. She can be much

phone call, with texting, Nichols can ignore a message or delete it if she doesn’t want to talk to people. Because they don’t see her deleting their message, it takes away the risk of hurt feelings. In recent years, the QWERTY keyboard has become a

there are more emoticons than ever to display perfectly how we are feeling. “Sometimes all we need is an emoticon,” Nichols says. Besides the different emotions to choose from, Nichols can use phrases like lol and rofl to show emotion to her friends

UMPI WELCOMES LUKE BRYAN Mon. April 1, 7 p.m. MPR Tickets $5 Student, $10 Community First Come, First Serve!

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that would be hard to type out and explain otherwise. The most beneficial factor of texting is how it has transformed Nichols’ dating life. She no longer has to go through painfully awkward conversations about feelings or gushy talk with her boyfriend in public. She no longer has to worry about accidentally saying the wrong thing to him. Now she can carefully decide before she sends a text how to word everything—to her advantage of course. “This makes for a lot less embarrassing and uncomfortable situations,” Nichols said. Her relationships are lasting longer because of texting. How awesome! So we can see how texting saves lives. We have seen proof of this in Nichols’ life. It benefits us all in great ways. Without it, who knows what would become of us? We might become educated, social and grammatically correct people. Kind of makes you shudder. Long live the text message.


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A Different Kind of Twin Nicole Moore CONTRIBUTOR

Not many people can say they’ve met their match. But when Kera Russell says it, she means it literally. On Dec. 21, 2011, Russell was in London. It was her

vacation touring England. It was the trip they’d always dreamed of. On that day, they had spent the morning exploring the city. They decided to grab something to eat at a coffee shop. Then the unexpected hap-

Kera Russel (left) and Sophie Wood (right). senior year of college. She and her friend, Jennifer Baily, were traveling together. They were spending their winter

pened. As they walked into the shop, another young woman was coming out. She looked almost exactly like Russell.

“I wa s shoc ke d ,” Russell said. “I had to do a double take.” The two didn’t share just one or two traits, either. They had the same eye color. The same hair color. Even the same facial features. They looked similar enough to be identical twins. “I felt like I was looking in a mirror,” Russell said. Baily noticed the resemblance, too. “It was creepy,” she said. “The only thing that was different was the British girl’s skin color. It was just a shade darker. Like she tanned a lot or something.” Russell stared at the woman as she walked by. The other woman glanced at Russell. Then she stared back. For a minute, the two just looked at each other. Then Russell introduced herself. “I was still kind of in shock,” Russell said, laughing. “I said, ‘Hi, my name’s Kera – do you think we’re related?” The two women struck up a conversation. Russell discovered that the British woman’s

name was Sophie Wood. She was 23, only a year older than Russell. Wood lived in London. She was a nurse, working the night shift at a nearby hospital. At first, the two wondered if they really were related. Russell’s family had originally come from England. But that was many generations ago. “We discovered that we probably aren’t related. We don’t have any ancestors in common. Unless maybe it was thousands of years ago,” Russell said. The two women may not be family, but they felt a deep connection. “I felt like we must already know each other somehow, just because we look the same. It was like an instant friendship,” Russell said. She promised to keep in touch with Wood. The two exchanged e-mail addresses and phone numbers. When Russell got back to the U.S., she did some research. That’s when she found out about the scientist, Dr. Glenn Milder.

Milder and his colleagues have spent years researching look-alikes. Russell e-mailed Milder and told him about her experience. Milder was thrilled to hear her story. “We have no written record of an instance like this,” Milder said. “Our research shows that it is possible, but very, very rare. The probability of meeting an almost exact look-alike is only one in 2.5 trillion. Russell is one of the lucky few.” What does Russell plan to do with this discovery? “Well, I’m kind of hoping to get famous,” Russell admitted, half joking. “Dr. Milder said he’d like to do some research about us. Maybe we’ll get to go on TV or something.” And what if she doesn’t achieve her goal of fame? Russell still agrees that what happened to her was remarkable. “It was really cool to find someone who looks just like me,” she said. “I mean, what are the chances?”

By the way, have you checked the date lately?! GOTCHA! April Fools! HAH ! A A! H A H


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UMPI to Build World’s Largest Telescope Jim Stepp

CONTRIBUTOR

Astronomy in Northern Maine is about to get much easier, thanks to a grant from NASA. UMPI will soon open the world’s largest observatory. The observatory will host a 315 inch telescope: the largest ever made. The main mirror of the telescope will be about 26 feet across. The observatory will be placed in the new Albert Einstein Science Building to be built next to the tennis courts on the west end of campus. The observatory is part of the new science center that will also have new space for our

various science classes and labs. The new Albert Einstein Science Center will cost about $27 million with $10 million of this going to the new telescope. Kevin McCartney, UMPI geology professor and creator of the Maine Solar System Model, said that the new observatory will be a great asset to the Maine Solar System Model. McCartney was quoted as saying, “Now people will not have to travel to Houlton to see Pluto: they will just need to go to the observatory.”

The grant also provides funds to hire a new astronomy professor. Dr. John Isaac

Newton, the great, great, great, great grandson of Sir Isaac Newton, has been hired to run the observatory and to teach astronomy classes. Newton said that he was happy to be joining the UMPI staff. He has never seen snow before, but believes the weather in Presque Isle should be great for observing. He was told that we have 300 clear days a year in Aroostook county. This will be much better than his native Scotland, where it is cloudy 300 days a year. When asked what he

thought about the new telescope, Newton said that the telescope will be a great addition to the science of astronomy. Newton said the new telescope will be able to see the freckles on the face of any bugs discovered on Mars. This telescope will be able to see the edge of the universe. Guest lecturer, Steven Hawkins, can’t wait to get to UMPI. He said that he was looking forward to getting to northern Maine and couldn’t wait to see how the new telescope will aid him in his work with theoretical physics.

Southern Guidelines: How to Find the Perfect Husband Ariel Warne CONTRIBUTOR

Growing up in the South has its perks. One of those is blossoming into a southern belle. Our beautiful mothers teach us from a very young age that one of the most important things to get out of our four years in college—and our wonderful lives, for that matter—is a husband. A southern belle is nothing but a pretty face and pearls without a man to eat her cooking and appreciate her cleaning. To help you find that special someone, I’ve laid out step-bystep directions for how to secure your husband and, consequentially, your future. Step 1: You are already on your way to complete this step: you’re at a university. It’s always a good idea to choose a school that has fraternities and sororities so that you can get in

and mingle with the future princes who hold the keys to your castle. Now all you have to do is pick your prince and zero in for the kill. Step 2: Stay classy. Nothing can turn off a potential husband more than dressing like a harlot and wearing enough makeup to put on a clown. Wear your finest when walking around campus and even explore some of the larger universities. You can never go wrong with looking effortlessly dolled up moseying around a law school, can you? Trust me: the fellas will come flocking. Step 3: Use your social networks to your advantage. Post loads of pictures of you and your friends at parties or social events when you aren’t dressed in your everyday attire. Be sure that

you are mostly seen and pictured with your pretty friends. But be sure they’re not as pret-

ty as you, for you are the queen! Once he sends you that

friend request or starts following you on Twitter, you want to make sure he sees you in the best lighting. So editing your pictures is a must. Step 4: On your first date, remember rule number 2, because it is of utmost importance that he sees you as a classy lady, not just the normal one night stand. Let him do most of the talking and order a salad and a glass of wine. He’ll know you’re not a lush, but just a woman of taste. He, of course, will pay and be sure to make it back to your apartment, not his. A late night kiss to end your magical evening is just the thing you’ll need to keep him wanting more. Step 5: After he calls— and he WILL call—there will be months of courtship. This stud will want to make it

official. If he doesn’t, then he isn’t the one for you. You want a hunk who will give you a ring, not a fling. Encourage him to do well on his tests, and impress his momma like it’s the last round of recruitment. On the flip side, make sure you’re not too much. Nothing drives away a golden gent more than a control freak. If you complete steps one through five, then you are most undoubtedly on your way to becoming a MRS to the man of your dreams, with a Tiffany diamond to prove it. Remember, ladies: even if he gets a little too friendly with one of your sorority sisters, he comes from a good family, is getting an education to bring home the bacon and is the stud who will give you the life you totally deserve. I hope this helps with your happily ever afters!


UMPI’s Magnificent Seven


Volume 41 Issue 11