Page 12

A Man's Guide To Looking Good On The Beach

The beach is a fashion minefield for men. So we've put together a foolproof guide to looking good on the beach. Flex your muscles, and enjoy the female attention with this mustsee video on beach fashion.

Make sure your feet are in good condition; dry flaky skin and toenail fluff will leave your hooves coming off second best to the beach donkey.

Body Hair

What you wear on your head can define an outfit, and there is little middle ground: it's either in or out, so keep an eye out for passing trends. That said, there are some eternal nono's.....first and foremost the comedy hat - what better way to show people you've got a sense of humor, right? Wrong. Novelty hats are as bad as shell suits and mullets. It's not big and its not clever. Bandana's may help to keep hair off your face whilst look stylish, but its definitely doesn't suit you sir, and remember handkerchief's will just lead to comparisons with George Formby.

Having chest hair isn't a problem, but you won't attract the right sort of attention if you look like a Wookie from behind, so get a back wax before your holiday. Leave your pins alone though, bald legs will make your calfs look like two anaemic kippers frying in the sun. Slightly hairy feet are ok, as long as you don't look to much like a Hobbit on its summer holiday.

Shorts If you're more Borat than Bond, a skimpy swimsuit is only going to draw attention to the bits you will want to hide, and no amount of posing and posturing is going to cover this up... So a loose fitting pair of shorts is probably the safest bet. Patterns and vivid floral prints will suit those of a more flamboyant nature. Dark solids are a classic that never go out of style and flatter most men, just be careful to choose a little lighter color if your skin is particularly pale. Show off your athletic side with a stripe or let out the rocker in you with a bold graphic print. The rule to remember here is this; if you don’t want to see it on someone else, don’t wear it yourself!


Accessories Too much jewelry is never a good thing and should be kept to a minimum. A single surf-style necklace or leather bracelet can work for you, but looking like an extra from Pirates of the Caribbean will not. Try to keep your sunglasses simple. Sharp-angled, sports shades with rainbow colored lens' won't suit everyone. If you don't suit the surfer/tour de france look, try going all retro sexy and Top Gun with a pair of aviator shades.


Image projection

The humble sarong - simple, stylish and such an easy garment to put on… well, for those who know how. Whether you're off to the south coast or the south pacific check out Videojug 'Beach Fashion' for a variety of ways to wear a sarong with style, rather than like a bafoon.

The beach is for posing, not for exercise, so only get active if you are athletic by nature, playing with a bat and ball on your own won't win you admiring glances. But being energetic isn't the only way to perk the interest of the more discerning members of the public. Display your intellect with a carefully chosen book, a classic or current bestseller will help give the impression your as deep as the ocean in front of you. Whereas a graphic novel or a copy of Guns and Ammo will send the ladies into a faster retreat than the Red Army.

Footwear An even worse crime than the banana hammock, is hitting the sands with a sock and sandal combination. Wearing trainers with bare feet is also bad news, not only for your image, but also for the environment. Keep it simple: stick to flip-flops or Birkenstock style sandals.

Written by Fran. Courtesy of