Happy Fatherâ€™s Day UrbanParenting
from Urban Parenting Magazine
atherhood. It’s the most incredible and irreplaceable job in the lifespan of a man. When my wife and I had our son, I felt like my life had come full circle. I had my little man and was motivated to continue to do all I could to ensure a successful future for my family. Then my baby girl was born and once again God gave me a little piece of heaven here on earth. I wouldn’t dream of missing out on one moment of their lives, no matter what our circumstances. Yet, research shows that 67% of African American homes have families with no father present in the home (2011 Kids Count Data Center
Urban Parenting Publisher Wilson Manigat Editor in Chief Debbie Manigat CONTRIBUTORS Wilson Manigat, Johanna Bergstrom, Candyce J., Deanna D., Sima Beard Ballinger, Sharon Feuntes Founded by Wilson and Debbie Manigat in 2013 Urban Parenting Magazine Published 11 times a year by Urban Parenting Magazine LLC., in West Palm Beach, FL. Editorial submissions and reader correspondence are welcome. We reserve the right to edit, reject or comment on any material submitted. We can not be responsible for the return of unsolicited material. Urban Parenting Magazine is available online and at numerous locations within diverse communities free of charge. Pubkication and distribution of the magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. The publisher reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing which is not in keeping with the magazine’s stabdards. Copyright 2013. All right reserved. Any reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited without written permission.
This is unacceptable and unfair for children who do not have a voice in the matter. If you have fathered a child you need to work on you and be there. Be the best father you can be for your children. I propose a challenge. This father’s day and every day after I challenge you to raise your family up in love; when there are bad days, love that family member into the person you know them to be. Champion the idea of fatherhood. Happy Father’s Day!
Wilson Manigat Wilson Manigat Publisher
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09 Five Star Car for Five Star Fathers
17 South Florida’s best Man Caves
GIVE YOUR KIDS A PRICELESS GIFT An honest discussion on how to approach talking about money with your kids.
DONT KNOW WHAT TO GET DAD? Gift ideas for every type of father
DONT GET TIED UP IN KNOTS
Men’s fashions for any ocassion
NO BREAKTHROUGH FOR THE UNBROKEN
Understanding the truth about triumph during your trials
HAPPY FATHERS DAY MOM... Should single mothers be celebrated on Father’s day?
Dont Just Budget. Plan your family spending.
Give your kids a Priceless Gift
By Johanna Bergstrom „ As long as we are honest with our children, they will learn that money discussions are straightforward, even if the news isn’t always good.”
oney is like sex. Many people don’t like to talk about it openly, yet having decisive conversations about family finances is crucial for developing healthy money attitudes in children. Kids learn all about saving, spending and debt, from how we do things. This is where we have to be as careful about the money messages we give out, as we might be about washing our hands, watching our language or teaching our little ones how to cross a street safely.
Money doesn’t grow on trees. How many of us heard this when we were young? Now that we’re parents, we understand why. Juggling a near-on impossible array of costs ranging from nappies, toys and school lunches, to car insurance, broken hot water boilers and toilet paper, we all know what its like to stress about money from time to time. The question is, are we just communicating our own jaded opinions or our own parent’s negative feelings about money onto the next generation?
Budget v. Spending The best way to get the maximum out of your family’s income is to actively plan spending. When we plan our spending, we get into a positive frame of mind, geared towards managing money to give us maximum benefit. Having a written spending plan allows each family member to get involved, even the kids. Get Categorizing How does a spending plan work? It is a simple piece of paper that lists all of your family’s income and outgoings. Track Spending everybody in the household needs to keep note of their spending, down to the last cent. This can be done either by collecting receipts, or by jotting figures down on a notepad.
Are there healthier ideas that we can pass on? Honesty around money Instead of snapping, there isn’t enough money, can we tell our children that this week our family needs to buy groceries, or that mom and dad are saving up for a new home? Should we communicate to them openly that their father’s hours have been cut back and mom is worried? That their sister needs new shoes and that’s why little brother cannot buy a
„ ...crucial to explain that mom and dad are in charge...”
new toy today? Absolutely. As long as we are honest with our children, they will learn that money discussions are straightforward, even if the news isn’t always good.
left out in the cold, not knowing what is wrong.
When discussing money concerns, it is always crucial to explain that mom and dad are in charge and that they will always handle the responsibility for the family’s well-being – this is the bit where we do have to protect kids! No child should ever be left feeling solely responsible for their family’s welfare. However, most boys and girls will want to help or contribute. It is then OK to explain that, for example, it would be helpful to mom and dad if they could be careful taking drinks from the fridge, so that half-open bottles or cans do not have to be thrown away.
Naturally we want to shield our children from worry and a child’s understanding of money issues varies by age. Kids pick up stress like radars, however, and almost invariably believe that unspoken tension in a family is their fault, down to something they have done wrong. Therefore it is much better to be clear and matter of fact about what is going on. Most kids, once engaged into a money conversation (kept as simple or complex as their age dictates), will feel like an important part of the family. They may worry because mom is sad, but they will not feel like they are being
...but don’t burden them with your responsibilities
Once you understand your money, you can control your money even better! simple financial planning helps us feel more in control of our money. It is also a great way to spot leaks in our spending. We can sometimes be shocked at how much little trinkets, magazines, candy bars and coffees actually add up to!
Alternatively, next time they want a new toy or video game, they could participate in a drive to sell old ones on eBay or in a garage sale, to make some money (and room) for new stuff. Let them dream We as adults know that dreams do not always come true. Life might have thrown a few curveballs at us and we may never have gotten that great job or moved to that large house. We may nurture ideals like ‚being poor is noble’ or ‚rich people are evil’. But that does not mean that we should stop our kids from reaching for the stars. More often than not, we are deeply conditioned by our family background and how much money our parents made or how successful we perceived them to be professionally or in terms of life contentment. Subconsciously, we may feel that we’ll never achieve more wealth or happiness than they did. It is therefore important to examine our own attitudes to make sure that we are not holding our children back.
Keep questioning We must constantly ask ourselves, what financial values did my family pass on to me? Am I proud of my job? Do I transmit tranquility when I discuss money? Do I manage my affairs well, providing the best example for my children? Scoffing at a child who says he wants to be a millionaire rockstar could close a door for them forever. Encouraging them to be the best that they can be, focusing on their true talents, whilst offering them a safe and nurturing environment where money is not perceived as a threat but a commodity to be wisely managed, should perhaps be one of our goals as successful parents.
„ No child should ever be left feeling solely responsible for their family’s welfare.”
Don’t know what to
Get Dad On Father’s Day? By Sharon Fuentes
his Father’s Day why not show Dear Old Dad how much you love him by getting him something he will really like. (And we don’t mean a tie!) We have come up with a list of unique ideas that will surely appeal to all types of fathers. Just find the category that best describes your pop and see what fun stuff we have found that he is sure to love!
then check out these gadgets he is sure to FLIP a Burger over!
Vidalia Propane Gas Grill 983-
technologically innovative way to make sure each piece of meat you are cooking is cooked to perfection, while giving you the peace of mind needed to enjoy your friends and family. It communicates with Apple or Android devices via Bluetooth and at only $79.99 truly is a gift dad will not only like, but USE!
No need to buy a separate charcoal grill, smoker, and fryer, with Vidalia it’s possible to do it all on the same grill. There are four cooking grid sizes, and Vidalia is available in built-in or Steak Branding Iron Setcart configuration. At just over $3,000 this American Made grill is not an It may not be what the ranchers had For the BBQ King DAD: inexpensive unit, but it is built like a in mind when they talked about tank and essentially commercial grade. branding cattle, but for $59.99 this If the patriarch of your family is Brookstone gift set is sure to bring affectionately known as the King iGrill Black Digital Grilling out the cowboy in dad. Set of 3 of the Grill, the Commander of the Thermometer With Dual Probes- This brands all wrapped in in an Old West Charcoal, the Sultan of the Smoker… iGrill Digital Thermometer is the most bandana wooden gift box. Sure to bring a SIZZLE to your next BBQ.
UrbanParenting For the Weekend Warrior DADWhether your father is ready to quit his job and join the PGA tour, or he just enjoys a good game from the comfort of his couch, these gift ideas are sure to be a Hole in One!
SensoGloveThis $89.99 golf glove has built-in sensors that constantly read the pressure of your grip. Practicing with SensoGlove will teach dad the correct grip pressure for a DJI Phantom Quadcopter- smooth, consistent swing that delivers greater distance, enhanced precision and lower scores. You are sure to get SOARING reviews from dad when he opens up this remote control baby! At just under $700, this compact and lightweight Phantom is ready-to-fly right out of the box and features a GPS autopilot system that will automatically trigger the device to land safely when control is lost. Whatever you decide to get dad, make sure to not forget the most important gift of all… tell him how much you appreciate him. That and access to the remote control all day without interruption is usually enough.
For the DAD Who Never Grew UpSomeone once said that men never grow up, they just get more expensive toys! If your daddy is still a kid at heart, check out these toys that will make all the other dads in the neighborhood green with envy!
Ultimate Game Chair v3For around $680 dad can kickback in this recliner that has 12 motion feedback motors that offer three vibration sensation levels that sync with whatever game he is playing. The chair has speakers built into the headrest and is compatible with all major gaming systems. If the words extreme and ultimate describe your father… then this just might be the perfect gift for him.
Happy Father’s Day!
Sharp 90” Class LED Smart 3D HDTVIf bigger is better than it certainly does not get any better than this. It comes with built-in Wi-Fi and has a SmartCentral user interface that can allow dad to have access to today’s most popular apps or even browse the web. Get out the Popcorn because this will provide a true Movie theatre experience for the whole family.
2013 Mercedes-Benz S-Class S550 in Silver/gray with Ash/gray interior. It features the keyless go and a driver assistance package. This family sedan comes with luxury, safety, comfort, performance, and fuel economy. MSRP $106,395 at South Florida Mercedes-Benz.
Five Star Cars for the Five Star Father By Sima Beard Ballinger
South Florida is known for opportunities to live a rich lifestyle, and for having some very sophisticated fathers. This Father’s Day we celebrate classy fathers that we call “Five Star Fathers.” They only drive and deserve life’s finest cars to get them to their destinations. Whether they are going to make a business deal, boating, or romancing their wives or significant other, the vehicle they choose to drive must adhere to the highest level of quality and safety. The cars they drive have to be superior, because of their demanding lifestyle. We researched some of South Florida’s most distinguished motor dealers and trends, and came up with the Best Cars For Five Star Fathers. You don’t want to miss out on the cars we’ve showcased – they are head-turners, sporty, and luxurious. Feast your eyes on some of South Florida’s most classy cars!
2013 Lamborghini Gallardo (pronounced Gay This sports import has a powerful V10 engine. You can get to your destination with speed and in style. Purchase price is $222,675 at Prestige Imports. For that special event or evening out with your lady, do something real daring and rent an exotic vehicle and show her around town.
2013 Audi S5 Coupe 3.0T Premium This fine vehicle comes with a V6 engine and sophisticated handling with the Audi Quattro all wheel drive. Technologies – Audi Connect has Wi-Fi hotspot and MMI Navigation, to help fathers stay on course. Starting price is only $50,900.
2014 BMW 535i X-Drive
Introducing, the 2014 BMW 535i X-Drive Gran Turismo, new and improved. This BMW is beautiful to look at. The interior is spacious and gracious. It gets good gas mileage and has a horsepower of 300. MSRP is $60,600. Go to BMW.com.
Maserati GranCabrio Coupe. It is a 4-seater. The GranCabrio has a V8 engine and horsepower of 433. This vehicle comes equipped with everything you need to enjoy an exciting evening out romancing or even double dating. The ride is fun, comfortable and handles exceptionally well. The price tag for purchase is $142,800 at gothamdreamcars.com. Call well in advance to rent.
Now that you have seen these mouth-watering vehicles, it’s time to choose. The demands of fathers are great, which is why we wish nothing but the best for our fathers. – And getting the best vehicle means not cutting corners on quality and craftsmanship. We hope you spend your Father’s Day in the vehicle of your choice, whether it is new, used, or rented! Happy Father’s Day!
Don’t get Tied Up in Knots! By Deanna D.
In today’s society, image is everything. The way you dress can impact whether or not you get that promotion...
Sexiest Men’s Fasion
For any Ocassion!
uits! Ties! Shoes! Oh my! Let’s face it, this might not be your domain, but fashion doesn’t have to be complicated to make heads turn. The rule of thumb for the 2013 business suit is a retro blend of the roaring 20s and today’s chic modern style. We started seeing this trend as the fedora began popping up as a throwback accessory. Since then, designers like Dolce & Gabbana and Corneliani have been tailoring their suits to reflect the iconic classics of Al Capone and the scenes from the book, The Great Gatsby. A period in history when suits were daily protocol has a very sexy and sophisticated quality. Look for solid metallic hues and sharp white on black pinstripes. Honoring a time of great exploration, the safari style has taken over as the most desirable styles of the season. You can’t go wrong with Trussardi or Versace in white or warm camel colors and straight leg trousers.
Now that you have the right suit for the office, what about your cousin’s wedding?
No suit is complete without the right pair of shoes, however, take it from the ladies- men’s shoes are the most revealing aspect of his personality. Stay away from black shoes if you’re sporting a brown suit. Strictly speaking you should avoid white shoes entirely unless donning a very bold white suit. Accessories are meant to compliment the outfit, not compete with it. For camel, khaki and brown suits, try Fozieri’s brown Italian leather cap toe dress shoe. The daring two tone angular fit is a sleek design that adds pizzazz. Gucci’s black patent leather monk strap shoe shines with any grey or black suit. The best method for finding the right pair of shoes for your ensemble is to bring your outfit with you when you try them on. This makes it easier to see how it all comes together. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing casual denim jeans, cargo pants, shorts or a suit, if the shoes don’t stand up to the image your outfit is trying to portray, you risk looking sloppy. In today’s society, image is everything. The way you dress can impact whether or not you get that promotion you’ve worked so hard for or that attorney’s number you met at the company cocktail party. Your attire is a statement about who you are and where you’re going. Classy is sexy. Make the right statement.
Take a deep breath, and start with the time of day. Daytime summer weddings mandate lighter colors. No black suits! Look to knit or linen fabrics in light colors. You can find classic light and medium grey two or three piece suits in either pinstripe, solid or checkered from Calvin Klein or John Varvatos. Evening summer weddings allow for dark solids or pinstripes. Black is not only acceptable, but preferred and nobody makes a classier black suit than Armani. From black denim to lightweight wool, Armani is the king of class.
No Breakthrough for the
Unbroken By: Wilson Manigat
once heard a quote that stated that, “Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.” As odd as it may sound, even those of us with a spiritual background, know that this quote has some shred of truth to it. But what happens when you want your life to change and find that your obstacles are too hard to overcome? Has the pain been too much to bare? Are you about through with dealing with challenges? Well my friend, the good news is that you may be closer to a breakthrough then you imagine. From time to time I watch the newsfeeds from my facebook account flicker on my screen and majority of the statuses are screaming the same message. “Lord, I can’t take it any more. I need a blessing before I snap”! What we, and I include myself into these group of people, fail to take accountability for is that we all want a blessing, but no one is willing to change. It doesn’t mean that you’ve accepted life for what it is, but who wants to change, honestly? No one wants change or the disorganization of brokenness that follows. However, it is that same brokenness that will lead to your breakthrough.
To be truly broken is to humble yourself and acknowledge your need for help. To be broken is to put your will and wants secondary to what God has planned. It is to be stripped of your self-sufficiency and pride so that God can manifest through you. How many of you, in this day and age, are constantly undergoing difficulties, problems and frustrations? Well, here’s the truth-God can’t bless what he cannot change”. Picture this for a moment. Picture a prideful child or teenage, independent in his ways with extremely stubborn behavior. We’ve all encountered this kid before; the “know-it-all” that can’t do wrong. They know more than the adult that is trying to save them… until they hit the wall. Then it’s, “help ME, save ME, bless ME” and although we eventually help this kid out, we are shaking our heads the entire time thinking, if only you had listened. That child had to reach his lowest point before he realized he needs help- BOOM, breakthrough!
you’re not ready for a break through. There are two types of breakdowns with the same outcome. The first is that you willingly surrender to God and let him work. The second is to force God to break you down. The problem with the latter is that it takes so much longer to reach your break through and blessing. I’ll leave you with this. Just like surgery, the old has to be removed for the new to be placed. Just like a piggy bank, it has to be broken to retrieve that value inside.
„ Life can either be accepted or changed...” And just like you, you must be broken for God to pull your true value out. So if you’re going through something that you feel like it’s too much, hold on, because your breakthrough is on the way!
To God, many of us are like that child. “Heal me, provide for me, give me, give me, give me”, but we fail to understand that the prerequisite to breakthrough is inevitably that breakdown. If you’re not ready to be stripped of your pride and exposed, then Urban Parenting
Happy Father’s Day Mom... By Candyce J.
Merriam-Webster defines the word father as a man who has begotten a child. But a trend over the years suggests that there are people out there who would like to alter the meaning of the term. As Father’s Day approaches, more and more single mothers believe they should be honored along with dear old Dad— and those mothers aren’t alone. Websites like Happy Father’s Day Mom and countless articles offer gift suggestions for mothers in honor of the patriarchal holiday. Even greeting card giant Hallmark was criticized for allegedly releasing a Father’s Day card for mothers under their Mahogany collection back in 2011. Though the company explained that the card associated with the initial reports was actually a Mother’s Day card, they have continued to offer this card option to consumers
UrbanParenting Garret D. Evans and Kate Fogarty of the University of Florida say that a father’s role tends to be defined by the Five Ps: Participator/Problem-Solver, Playmate, Principled Guide, Provider, and Preparer. A mother is certainly capable of performing those duties, in addition to other functions necessary in child-rearing. But a mother simply cannot be a father, no matter how you slice it. There is something to be said about the physical presence of a father in a child’s life that seems to be impossible for a mother to replicate. Numerous studies have highlighted impact of fathers on the well-being of their children. The absence of a father often has negative emotional, behavioral, and physical effects on children. While his role may be successfully adopted by a woman, it is imperative that a man take on the joy and responsibility of raising his children. Unfortunately, not a lot of men are on full-time daddy duty.
despite the negative press. It seems as if the acknowledgement of single mothers on a day reserved to celebrate the impact our fathers or other male figures have made on our lives has become more prevalent. But has everyone embraced this shift in dynamics? According to the Centers for Disease Control, over 50% of the African-American children living in the U.S. are raised in single-parent households. And the vast majority of those households are being overseen by women. While some may scoff at the idea of recognizing a female parent on Father’s Day, statistics show that many children do not live with their fathers and truly believe that their mothers are fulfilling both parental roles. What is the role of a father? And is it possible for a woman to effectively move into that role simply by being the sole or primary caregiver of her children?
The number of children in the Black community who are born without fully engaged fathers is alarming. Do Black men have a stronger desire to make babies than they do to take care of them? The focus seems to consistently be placed on single mothers—but they did not become single mothers on their own. It could be said that because the relationship between a man and woman dissipated, that man feels less inclined to ensure that his relationship with the child remains intact. Men talk of their “baby mamas” with disgust—even the term conjures up negative reactions. And that negativity has the potential to contaminate the bond between father and child. Others suggest that Black men lack accountability for their actions and the court must often intervene in order to force them to take part in their child’s life. Does the Black family of today now consist of the Single Mother, Absentee Father, and Wayward Child? Can something as small as a greeting card make a big impact on what everyone else believes about the Black family unit? If someone tells a mother, “Happy Father’s Day”, is he or she saying more about the state of Black families than intended? Some may say that Father’s Day is yet another silly holiday, and the method in which it is celebrated doesn’t matter. But it provides a striking picture (whether it’s based on truth or sensationalism) of the state of parenthood—and society in general.
Need a Timeout?
5 Best Man Caves in South Florida By Deanna D. What makes a good man cave? Depending on your mood it could be a posh lounge, cigar bar or sports bar, no matter what your preference, they all have one key component. They all cater to a man’s interests. If you’re looking for a little quiet time or a place to hang out and get some beers with the guys, these are the five best man caves in South Florida sure to meet your needs. WARNING: These have not been approved by your wife.
1. Aromas of Havana From A-list celebrities to the business crowd, Aromas of Havana is the highest rated cigar bar in South Florida. They have a full liquor bar and over 500 varieties of cigars to choose from. Located in North Miami, they present a unique alternative to busier South Beach establishments. Here you can recline in one of their plush leather armchairs while sipping your favorite beverage and be transported back in
2. Shucker’s Bar and Grill This low key sports bar boasts 23 flat screen TVs, a handful of pool tables as well as dart boards, which make it the perfect place to watch the game and grab a bite to eat or shoot some pool. They’re known for their wings, but you won’t be disappointed in the raw bar either. It’s situated right off the water in North Bay Village with a dock to accommodate the many yachts that come here.
3. Tap42 Miami may be the main hot spot for almost everything in South Florida, but Fort Lauderdale has a few gems of its own and this is definitely one of them. If the 51 beers at the bar don’t immediately grab your attention, the trendy, upscale vibe will. Great food and great fun is on the menu at Tap42. Get there early, happy hour starts at 4:00 p.m. Monday through Friday!
4. Duffy’s As a sports bar for the 20 something crowd, it features rows of flat screen TVs, pool tables and an in-ground pool. Right off the intracoastal waterway in Sunny Isles, Duffy’s has a little something for everyone. If it’s the party scene you’re after, head out to the pool deck where the DJ spins and the drinks flow. For a more laid back option there are plenty of seats at the bar.
5. Abbey Brewing Co. A true man cave in every sense of the word, Abbey Brewing Co. is a no frills microbrewery that also includes rare imported beers. If you’re looking for a place to escape your in-laws, this is it. Popular with the locals, there are fewer tourists here and the comfortable atmosphere is almost as inviting as your own living room, minus the kids’ toys on the floor.
South Florida is a tourist Mecca, full of clubs, bars and restaurants, but these five man caves will whet your appetite again and again. Be seen or be invisible, it’s your turn to be pampered.