Welcome to Urban Image Magazine, As always I am very excited to hit y’all with our latest issue. Man, I am humbled and I feel blessed to have a star like Antonique Smith on our cover. I really enjoyed the interview and I believe you will as well. She is very sweet and down to earth. I hope through the story you all will get to know her a little better. This edition of Urban Image is our most relevant issue thus far. We’re bringing you the controversy on Janet Jackson’s hubby. He fired a woman for being raped. Personally I don’t approve of it. I am a Muslim myself and I have not read anywhere in my religious materials that a woman that is raped has sinned or committed a crime, but yet this is what’s happening in a lot of these “Muslim” countries around the world. Period point blank this is NOT Islam. Then we have the article on Trayvon Martin written by our very own AJ Whitsett. He presents us with a different perspective on the Trayvon Martin case. I’m looking forward to getting some feedback on that one. I figure it will spark a debate. Speaking of controversy, I want to introduce y’all to Stephen Rodriques. Don’t let his last name fool ya. The brother is African American He has been a blogger on our website for a few months or so and he has written a lot of articles that have stimulated good conversations. I love his wit, his honesty, and his views on the government and the state of Black America. He says things that others are afraid to say and I feel his viewpoints should be shared in the magazine. Like I’ve said many times Urban Image is for you. Our numbers are constantly rising but y’all are very quiet. Shoot us an email @ firstname.lastname@example.org. Tell us what you like or don’t like about Urban Image. Let us know what you would like to see in the future. Your feedback will be used to cater to you better. We want Urban Image to be your magazine. For all you aspiring recording artist, comedians, actors, film makers, hit us up we’d love to feature you. But Make sure your material we’re aiming to build a reputation of showcasing amazing talent. Before I go I’d like to thank my staff and my writers. It’s always a pleasure to work with you. I’d also like to thank our readers. Enjoy the magazine. Until next time, Peace and Love
Meet our Staff
Angela Williams is just now beginning to explore the possibilities opened to her. She is an avid reader who sometimes lets her imagination run wild. A lover of animals she shares living space with two dogs and a cantankerous cat. No stranger to being told what canâ€™t be done she tries to empower those around her. She believes that youâ€™re never late for your dream, you always arrive right on time. At the present time she is residing in Chesapeake, VA and working on a book of poetry. 9
Meet our Staff
Brenda Tashia is a young entrepreneur, from Thibodaux, Louisiana. She is our the Urban Literature blogger for the website. She is also a promoter, and poet. She resides in Donaldsonville, La where she is currently working on her first poetry book. 10
Stephen Rodriques was born in Brooklyn to two Jamaican parents. Raised in Queens New York during the dawn of Hip Hop culture was the key factor that molded Stephen's future ideas and outlook on life. His motto is Dogs, cats, women, children, the elderly, men pregnant ladies, handicapped people, the deaf, dumb and blind can all get it.
Comedian Marc Howard I travel to parts of the world performing in comedy clubs, colleges, and stages. I've also been on BET's Comic View, and TVone's The Funny Spot. You may also hear me doing voice over characters for It's Your World (formerly heard on the Tom Joyner Morning Show)
If you have not seen it in person then you shall not have a picture of it, and a lot of times they still don't get that pleasure. That is reserved for the husband when I get one. That will only be if he out-oftown working and we have to You can email me at email@example.com with any relationship or life do something to keep the spice questions. in our relationship. This random â€œJoeâ€? didnâ€™t need you picture for Dear Emiaj, his viewing pleasure. What did you get I met a guy that I am very interested out of it? You sitting there waiting for in, and he has asked me for nude pictures him to respond of myself. At first I was against it, but I decided to go out on a limb and send him a few pictures for his viewing pleasure. Well, now I have not heard from him. What am I
supposed to think? Please help me to understand. Miss Nude Pics Dear Miss Nude Pics, First and foremost, if you were against it; my mind wonders why you would send them to him anyway? Just because he is interested in you doesn't mean you have to do the things he wants you to do. Personally I have a policy when it comes to nude pictures.
Now there could be a few reasons why he has not responded yet. 1) He is busy ogling over them as if he has never seen a naked woman before. 2) He is so in awe that he is not sure how to respond. 3) He has decided that he is no longer interested. Men are so funny like that. It used to be that we tempt them so much that they don't know how to act. Now they tempt us and think it is ok. I want you to chalk this up to lose here because he just might be gone and not coming back, in the words of Miss Melanie Fiona. Just let it go and move on" .... . 14
friends think?” “Will they stop talking to me?” “Will they still love me?” Your My best friend of ten years just friend not only had to worry about came out to my other friends and; that what you all thought but even her famshe is lesbian. While I am super happy ily. This was a life decision and they for her; our other friends are not as wanted you to be a part of it. supportive. I see how it is tearing her To turn your back on someone apart. They have been very evil to her you love is despicable. Alright so what and have even gone as far as not talk they are gay, lesbian, homosexual, or to me because I still talk to her. Emi- whatever; that is not you. If they are aj, I am not even sure how I should saying “oh because we are Christians even talk to them about this situation. we do not believe in that we cannot support” then they need to take a sit down. She deserves to be happy and we should be just as happy for her. I be- As Christians we are taught to love Gods people. We may not agree with lieve that is what friends are supposed what they are doing but we are to love to do. Can you please help me? all of Gods children. No one on this Friend and Confused Earth is sinless. We were all born into sin; there is no room to judge anyone. Dear Friend and Confused, Dear Emiaj,
My suggestion to you is love your friend, support your friend. If the others think less of you let them, because that shows they are so closed minded that they can’t see what it is doing to the friendship. It is that type Now onto your issue, your friend of ignorance of the world that has it so corrupt. Hating someone just because took a very large step in her life to be able to tell you all how she was feeling. they are slightly different, Is not what I can bet that every fear passed through you want to do. Emiaj 15 your friends head. “What will my Let me start by saying that you are doing exactly what a good friend is supposed to do; support. Thank you for having those great friend qualities and your friend she should be grateful as well to have you.
CBeautyArt Column By: Christopher Brown
The CBeautyArt Column would like to welcome all our readers to another highly celebrated issue of Urban Image Magazine. As you know my name is Christopher Brown, Art Columnist for UIM, and this month I am here to introduce you to Cali
Calaway , owner of Calizeyes Photography. Starting her business in July of 2005 as a North East Ohio area photographer specializing in wedding, portfolio, and portrait photography her ideas for photographic expression grew. Her passion is about bringing life, purpose and meaning to her photographs by catching every expression, which for sure will tell a photographic story.Cali Calaway views her work as artistic expression, when it comes to scenic and natural wonders. With her talent she photographs true inner city stories while capturing the feeling and emotion in visual art. Cali also creates amazing adult photography which really captures the true nature of humans in the most beautiful form! Taking it to the next level is what Calizeyes 17
Photography is all about! Currently based out of Charlotte, North Carolina she is working on creating new visual styles and techniques that only Calizeye can see. I would like to thank Cali Calaway for all her continued support of the arts! Remember we must keep the arts aliveâ€Ś For more information on Cali Calaway go to www.CBeautyArt.com and click on the artshow tab. STAY TUNED FOR MORE UPCOMING ARTISTS!
The Nets: Hello Brooklyn By Your Sports Enthusiast Antione Barber
Most women can agree that when it comes to relationships, we are all guilty of falling in love with the idea of the man rather than the actual man. In your search for love, it is easy to ignore the obvious signs that tell you there is no future for the two of you. Not his fault at all, he may be a really good guy, just not the guy for you. Here are seven signs that tell you he is not really the right one
1. HE BORES YOU He’s is a nice guy, fun to be around. Yet when he starts talking, all you hear is, “blahblah-bore-bore-blah”. You do not share the same interests or dreams. You want to travel to Paris while he wants to study the migration of Monarch butterflies in Mexico. He wants to talk facts and figures and you want him to pay more attention to your figure. You try to drum up conversation to share your interests, but it seems to go over his head or bore him completely. The two of you simply are not compatible and this is not something that you can ignore. 23
2. SEXUAL INCOMPATIBILITY He’s not a bad lover; he just doesn’t do it for you. He’s not interested in doing any of the things you like in bed and when he does, it feels like a chore; like he’d rather be doing something else. He puts in work that has little or nothing to do with pleasing you and is done. No foreplay, no after-play, nothing. Just a five or ten minute romp that does nothing to connect the two of you as a couple. After a while, you can just do without it and this, of course, affects your relationship greatly.
3. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY If he can’t make time for a relationship, then he shouldn’t be in one. Men make time for what they value. If it’s work, work, work, then that is where his heart is. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as it doesn’t leave you feeling neglected. If he can find a good balance, kudos to him. If his body is with you, but his head is at work, then he is not truly with you. A man that is for you will make time even when he’s busy. If time is what you need, then Mr. All Work is clearly not the one for you.
4. NO TALK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE AS A COUPLE No one is saying that the two of you have to be talking marriage, but at some point in the relationship, you have to discuss your future as a couple. If you are the only one talking in future terms, then you are the only one thinking that way. His inability to see a future with you may not be anything you can change. A man paints his own picture; therefore, it is his choice whether or not you are in it. This by far, is the biggest sign that the two of you have no future and are just going through the motions.
5. HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU You are in a relationship, but you feel alone. You have a closer relationship with his phone and email than you actually have with him. If you don’t make the effort, it doesn’t happen. You plan the dates, you make the calls, you make yourself available and all he has to do is show up or pick up the phone. You have made everything so easy for him and he still doesn’t come through. Drop him immediately, he’s just not that into you and there’s nothing you can do to change that.
6. LACK OF INTIMACY Sure, there is plenty of physical contact, but the relationship lacks intimacy. He keeps secrets, tells you only vague facts about himself and avoids physical intimacy like the plague. His kisses are impersonal, his touch is distant and he often avoids eye contact. You find it very hard to connect with him and it is his design. Don’t take it personal, he just may not be able to handle intimacy. That being the case, he can’t handle a relationship either and you should move on to someone who can.
7. TOO TROUBLED TO CARE Love is a powerful and dominating force that occupies all thought, but he has so much on his mind that he cannot seem to let you in. He now considers you just one more problem or responsibility for him to handle. He should welcome the distraction of love…but only if he is in it with you. Since he’s not, you are a chore for him rather than a welcome distraction. Leave him to his troubles; you have enough of your own.
Comedy Corner: The Black Comedy Club Scene By: Comedian Marc Howard
Oh where for art thou, comedy club for the brothas and sistas. I know that was a lame mockery of an old Shakespeare phrase, but it fits my mood. Hell I’m “ole skool” I guess. Hello all this Marc Howard your personal funnyman here with a thought to chew on folks. I’m a 20 plus year vet of the stand-up comedy, and I live in LA…
HOLLYWOOD!!! Came here in 93…..damn 20 years ago. The black comedy scene was at it the forefront. Def Comedy Jam was the hot show with BET coming up with Comic View to follow as it was just getting it right as well. So black owned comedy clubs and one night special comedy events at night clubs were popping 28
all over the country. Everybody wanted to see a Def Jam comedy tour show, or a comic from Comic View. Do you remember them days? I do, the buzz was hot, looking to be here to stay, but alas it was for not. Def Jam died off after Martin Lawrence-the original host left for greener pastures, and BET got tired of having good comedy shows and fucked that good thing up. ,
It’s like sense The Arsenio Hall show got cancelled and Hollywood looked to replace him with the wrong guy time after time, other stand up shows came and went like a fart in the wind. Now the comedy club scene ain’t worth toilet paper after you wipe your ass with it. There are places to work, but it’s funny style more than straight funny. Now the club owners only book you regionally so it’s the same comics recycled, and you got to be his or her personal friend. Club owner kill me, cause nowadays they’re my age or younger and definitely haven’t been in the comedy game as long as I have yet they know more about it than me. Here in Hollywood
I’ve helped all the black spots that are going strong now get started when they wanted and needed funny comics to blow the show up. Now they play me, I wait in line like a Eddie Cain from
audience that they wouldn’t know it if it smacked them in the face. The answer is this……How bout you just book good comics pay them righteously based on a fair market value, and advertise well, then let the show be funny and the people laugh then they’ll come back with friends and family and/or they’ll spread the word about the hot comethe 5 Heartbeats. I’m on- dy show. I’m pretty sure ly missing the shiny suit, it would work because it cause I want to was fucking working when you got cheap and go outside and sing, jealous of not getting “nights like this I wish your proper attention that rain drops would from the girls. Now you fall.” (That was funny as sit there crying about you shit wasn’t it?) can barely keep your These club owners are doors open. You chasing a way to get an 29
really don’t wonder why? Comedy isn’t as powerful as music but it’s been around for centuries, it works. Don’t tinker with it, don’t be afraid to bring in good talent that’s not a big
funny…… name like Kevin Hart. He’s Kevin Hart is though-in not doing comedy clubs. case he goes back on tour. There are more funny So folks go to your local comics than famous com- club owner and tell them ics, and to be 100 every to bring the funny back, famous comic ain’t that and we’ll come back. See ya next time…
What’s Going On? By: AJ Whitsett
First off I want to say hello to all the readers and welcome to another segment of” What’s Going On?” This month I feel the need and feel it is my duty as a writer of current events to talk to you all about the Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman case. If you have been sleeping under a rock for the last year or even mistakenly thawed out from being frozen in time since the Stone Age like Brendan Frasier on the movie “Encino Man,” I’ll explain to you what it is and what happened. Trayvon Martin was a 17 year old African American kid from Sanford, FL. On Feb 26, 2012, a tragic day for him, he went to the neighborhood store to purchase some Skittles and an Arizona Sweet 40
Tea to return home to watch the NBA All Star Game but he never made it home. On his way he was stopped and approached by George Zimmerman, a multi-racial Hispanic male and captain of the neighborhood watch for this area. An altercation occurred between the two and Trayvon was fatally wounded by a gunshot to the chest. Since that day, things in that Sanford, FL community, Trayvon’s family, and George’s family for that matter have not been the same. What sparked the
initial outrage of the whole thing was that Zimmerman was not initially arrested. He was taken in for questioning, questioned for 5 hours, and released with no charges filed because the police department’s investigators
thought he had a substantial claim for selfdefense under Florida’s Stand Your Ground Law. He was not charged until almost a month later in which he was charged with 2nd Degree murder and he turned himself in soon after. Several states have a “Stand Your Ground” Law or some variation of it but according The Washington Post Florida’s law states that a person can defend themselves without the ob-
ligation to first retreat anywhere, at anytime, using up to deadly force if they feel they are in imminent danger of being killed or seriously injured. So in all actuality, the story that Zimmerman told is grounds for self-defense and he should have not been charged for any crimes under this law. The story that he told, and in short, was he was running an errand when he spotted Martin walking aimlessly along in the rain be-
hind some townhouses in the community and he did not look familiar. He was also on alert because the area had several reported breakins recently. He called the police and informed them 41
what was going on and what he was observing. He then said that Martin was running and made the statement to the dispatcher “These assholes, they always get away.” The dispatcher told him not to go after him but he did anyway. Minutes later, after he hung up with the police department, he got into an altercation with Martin. He stated that Martin approached him, said some things, punched him in the nose, mounted him, slammed the back of his head to the concrete several times, and after that is when he pulled out his gun and shot him. Now let’s be honest for second. No one wants another person murdered. It is not in our na-
ture as human beings. You have those instances where something tragic happens to a family member or close friend and out of emotion and the want for vengeance can lead someone to feel that way for the moment or a short period of time. Then you have those other instances when someone is simply a psychopath. That is another level and something is not “clicking” in that person’s brain correctly. Zimmerman’s trial didn’t begin until June 24, 2013. During the trial the Sanford Police Department’s investigation was taken into account, other investigations were taken into account, Martin’s autopsy was reviewed, witness accounts were heard, Rachel Jeantel 42
(Martin’s friend he was talking to at the time), Zimmerman’s account was heard ,Zimmerman’s media interview was heard, the prosecution stated their account what allegedly took place, 911 calls were heard where yelling was in the background, and along with other witnesses of the families were questioned. A lot of stories did not match up but that’s expected in a case like this. In the end, George Zimmerman was found not guilty of everything; 2nd Degree Murder or Manslaughter. In a nutshell, all of this is the situation we have at hand with the events that led up to the death of Trayvon Martin at the hands of George Zimmerman. Not being charged with anything has outraged a lot of people across the country with rallies and vigils being held in several cities which include New York, Los Angeles, San
Francisco, Oakland, and
Greensboro, NC to name a few.
to pursue Martin, he did anyways and I don’t think anyone would not be weary of someone you don’t know following you in the dark. Zimmerman followed, an altercation took place, and Martin was on the losing end of a 9mm handgun. Let’s say for a second that what Zimmerman said was true. Well if he would have never Let me explain how I feel followed and/or approached about this whole thing. I Trayvon Martin, he’d be don’t believe it was a ra- alive and well today. I uncially motivated from Zim- derstand a person being merman’s behalf. When you concerned about the potenlook at the bigger picture tial crime rate of his or the fact that his neighbor- her own neighborhood but it hood had had several recent is not your job to investibreak-ins and he actually gate and/or apprehend a pogave a damn about his com- tential suspect of a crime. munity being the captain of If George Zimmerman would the neighborhood watch, he have stayed in his vehicle wanted to do something until the police got there, about it. Martin looked nothing would have hapsuspicious in what he was pened, Martin would have doing, where he was walkreturned to his home and ing, not a permanent resi- watch the NBA All Star Game dent of the area, he did like he intended to, George not look familiar, and Zim- Zimmerman would have made merman took action. After it to and from the grocery the dispatcher told him not 44
store as he originally intended, no harm no foul, and at the end of the day Tracy Martin and Sybrina Fulton would have a son to ask how his day went. I think Florida along with any other state that has a “Stand Your Ground” Law should review the details of this law, change some things about it, and be very specific about what standing your ground is. In your home, in your vehicle, on your owned property, etc should be the deciding factors. What kind of weapon is being used and what kind of opposing force is being used. If it’s one on one, you have fists and feet, I should have fists and feet, knife to knife, gun to gun, etc. George Zimmerman pursued Martin. How is that standing your ground? I will never understand that.
This story hurt me to my heart because I have a son. He is only 7 right now but one day he’ll be 17 and I pray to God that something like this will never happen to him. Am I upset that George was found notguilty? Yes I am a little but that’s because I think the justice system is flawed in a big way and this case revealed how. People have to remember in a court of law all the defense has to do is prove reasonable doubt which actually means “maybe he didn’t do it.” It doesn’t mean that he definitely didn’t do it but just maybe he 45
didn’t and with the laws that govern the courts reasonable doubt was proven and that’s mainly because it was his word against speculations of what may have happened. I’m not as racially motivated and/or infuriated like a lot of people on this but I do believe that if Trayvon Martin wasn’t a minority regardless of who killed him, everything would have been handled a little bit differently from the beginning to the end. I think the media and insecure and close-minded individuals turned this into a race war along with the Sanford Police Department having a reputation in Florida
for some racially motivated arrests and events that’s taken place in the past. This case will go down in history and will be talked about as the case that changed the “Stand Your Ground” Law. This is one of those events like 911; you will remember exactly where you were and what you were doing when you heard the verdict.
My thoughts, prayers, and condolences go out to Trayvon Martin’s family and Rest In Paradise brother. 46
Janet Jackson's Involvement in a Woman's Termination for Being Raped. By :Talia Rice
In Dubai a woman is frowned upon for wanting an education. Dubai is known for its lavish bars and hotels however it is not legal to drink. In Dubai woman are not allowed to participate in any public affection with a man. Also in Dubai if a woman is raped by a man that is married they are put in prison for breaking the law.
trip to Dubai and allegedly was raped. As soon as she reported it to authorities they immediately arrested her and she was sentenced to 16 months in prison for public intoxication and breaking the Sharia Law which states if a woman has extra-
Janet Jacksonâ€™s husband sent a termination letter to one of his workers personally signed by him just for her being raped by another worker. It is amazing what your husband would do especially if he thought he would not get caught or get attention like this. Here is what happened.
marital sex (regardless if it is without consent) they have broken a crime. The man that raped her only got 13 months and it was not for the actual rape itself. A medical and Twenty-four year old Marte Deborah DNA report was conducted however Dalelv worked as an interior designer they still did not believe her and for his company Al Mana Interiors. threw her in prison. In March Dalelv went on a business 48
Back to the termination letter that Janet’s husband sent Ms. Dalelv, he adamantly stated he did nothing wrong with sending the letter. T He tried to contact her about her employment status and at first she complied then all of a sudden she stopped all contact with them so he sent the letter of termination. “The decision had nothing to do with the rape allegation and unfortunately neither Ms. Dalelv nor her attorneys have chosen to contact the company to discuss her employment status. "With the treatment that goes on to the women in Dubai one would think that Janet Jackson would have no involvement in such treatment. I can’t imagine having to be sent to prison for being raped. You are the victim but are treated like the accuser. Her husband should have been more sympathetic to this woman’s needs. What would you have done if this was to happen to you? Think about this before you take a trip to another country such as Dubai. 49
Hear Ye ! Hear Ye ! The Destruction of the Black Family is Now in Session. BY: Stephen Rodriques
You wanna have a battle between African American men and women? Just ask questions about child support, its solutions and consequences. Arguably the most divisive issue in our community, it can turn black men and women into bloods and cryps. For some, its a financial pitfall and for others a financial boon to be used as a tool to both help and destroy depending on who you ask. Because the issue of child support is decided by the courts, the line in the sand is drawn many times by the time it does finally reach the judicial system. As if the separation of parents isn't enough, some children are put through a minefield battle because of this highly contested issue. I spoke with people across the country about this, and here is what they had to say: Nuriel has paid child support for 22 years for four children in which two were court ordered. He doesn't think anything is wrong with child support. Nuriel says, "The system shouldn't decide what happens in a household" adding, "if we as men did what we are supposed to do the court wouldn't be involved." "If it gets to the point were men are playing games and women are playing games you gotta take it to the court system because they (are) playing games and not behaving responsibly as it pertains to the welfare of their children or child. They're both engaged in a 51
power struggle for position and as a result the child suffers. When a person ends up in arrears for child support they should approach it as their responsibility because they neglected it for so long, however the courts stance with incarcerating individuals is completely counterproductive because the ultimate effect of that is that child suffering". He poses the question, "How can an individual be gainfully employed with a record?".
n't hold the same standards on him that the white man does if he is doing his best to provide and is an active participant in the lives of his seed".
Dale from Orlando has had a negative experience because of the child support system. He feels the state of Florida has the worst child support enforcement policies in the nation. Dale's take is, "Child support, since they (the system) gets a cut of the money paid, it is nothing but a busiStephanie from California is a ness seeking to profit. They have a mother of two who explains her high incarceration rates which stagdisdain for the child support sysnates the parents ability to effectem by flatly saying "it sucks". She tively support the child". Furtherchose to sign a waiver that allows more he says in Florida where mass her ex husband to pay "what he can transportation is limited, they will when he can", without fear of retri- suspend your drivers license which bution. She says jobs are hard will hinder your chances of employenough to find for the Black man, ment. If you can't see it yet there is and his license is already suspend- only one benefitting party constanted not from not trying, but because ly, and that is the state of Florida. noone is hiring. "I didn't want him Through incarceration they get to live with the fear of jail for not more federal funding. Essentially being able to come up with the inflated amounts they were demanding, the courts not taking into consideration the high unemployment especially in our community. But the ironic thing, is that he sometimes pays more than the ordered amount". She said, "If a woman has any compassion for the father of her children, she would52
under the guise of child support enforcement they are seeking only to benefit themselves. As a result the black family is made to depend on the system and single parent households become the norm As we all now a byproduct of poverty is crime which once again points out the vicious circle of crime and money to the state. The black families in Florida are broken down because they're the ones in jail their neighborhoods are the worst. It's disgusting how we are pitted against each other in the case of child support while the state gains hand over fist". As I spoke with these people I thought to myself, "Damn I'm glad I don't have kids". I do want to have some one day, but goodness the potential for something to go wrong in the relationship and the revenge factors that happen after are frightening. he key is having a good understanding with your significant other BEFORE babies start coming. A longer time before sex, bring back sex education or a little longer courting period may be needed before decisions like babies are made. More parents have that talk with your kids. It can't hurt. Ideas are needed a think tank is to be called upon our future depends on it. But better choices are to be made.
I mean really. 53
THE REALITY OF A BLUE FUNK (My Nemesis Depression)
Sometimes I have to laugh when I see the commercial where one is sitting beside their depression. It’s funny not in a humorous way, but in an “aha” way because it’s true. It’s never By: Angela Williams just me, but it’s me and that When I tell someone I suffer with de- dreaded blue feeling. It’s like being pression it is not uncommon to hear, alone, but you always feel something “You don’t look depressed.” I usually is lurking over your shoulder. Most cringe because depression doesn’t days for me are difficult when I have have a “look”. The one thing I can say an episode. On those days the driving is that my personal dealings with de- force to get up is the mere fact I have pression has made me a great actress. responsibilities that I must do. So I put Unless I tell you I have it you would on my smile and head out into the never know I’m depressed. In public I world. am intelligent, a bit shy, quick to I describe dealing with depression smile, the consummate cheerleaders as being in a bubble. This bubble has a of others and a giver of words of encouragement. However, once I get home and the door closes I isolate myself from everyone and retreat to my cocoon until I have to emerge and face the world 55
gray tint and colors how I see everything around me. Take this bubble and drop it in a huge body of water and let it sink to the bottom. My perception is distorted. I see the world as having a gray tint and the beauty and happiness is marred by this grayness. Things that normally bring me joy no longer do. I isolate myself from friends and loved ones because I don’t want my sadness to touch them. In my bubble the grayness invades my body and creates aches and pains no painkillers can relieve. And sleep is sometimes elusive or very short because I can’t find a comfortable position. In the course if tossing and turning my mind wanders and I replay my day. By the time I doze off it’s time to awake and start another day. All I want to do is pull the blankets over my head and sleep, but I must get up and do what I must to survive. Unfortunately, many don’t understand nor do they want to understand this illness. Often depression goes undiagnosed because the symptoms mimic other common illnesses such as the common cold, the flu or even allergies. In my opinion it really goes undiagnosed because it has a stigma surrounding it. Those that are depressed are sometimes viewed as weak and/or mentally unstable. Because of this many go untreated for years and this lack of treatment may lead to death. Depression affects more than 15 million people in the United States. It has many symptoms that go unnoticed because of they are easily associated with other ailments. The best way to combat depression is to be aware of the symptoms. 56
Symptoms, according to WebMD.com include: -Difficulty concentrating, making decisions and/or remembering details, -Being fatigued and having decreased energy, -Having feelings of guilt, being unworthy, and/or helplessness, -Feeling hopeless and/or pessimistic, -Having insomnia, early morning wakefulness, or sleeping too much, -Being irritable, -Being restless, -No interest in activities or hobbies that once brought pleasure, including sex, -Loss of appetite or overeating, -Constant aches and pains, cramps, headaches or digestive problems, -Persistent feeling of sadness, anxiousness or empty feelings and -Thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts.
Depression is nothing to be ashamed; there are many treatments that can be tailored to each individual. If you have any of these symptoms please contact your doctor. Educate yourself and be an active part of your treatment. 57
BULLYING IS NOT A RITE OF PASSAGE By: Angela Williams
Right now I’m not sure if this is coming from a place of anger, hurt, shock or all three. Recently, I’ve been reading in the paper and on the internet about people, young and old, ending their lives because of being bullied. There are so many under the age of 18 have decided that the only way to end the bullying is death. This breaks my heart. Last night my heart broke even more because it touched the life of a friend. In growing up some of us have uttered the words, “They don’t like me. They are so mean to me.” In just hearing that statement we’ve heard or even said, “Don’t pay it any attention. Make new friends. Stop being so sensitive.” .But how many times have we actually taken the time to understand why those words were said? Did we sit that person down and ask what’s going on? Or did we just blow it off making the excuse that not everyone is going to like everyone else. Did we tell them to suck it up, it’s a rite of passage or it’s all in their mind? Right now I wonder why we’re so quick to turn a blind eye to bullying. Bullying crosses all lines. Neither the young nor the old are immune to it. It can happen in school, at work and socially. The definition of a bully is someone who uses power or strength to harm or intimidate someone who they perceive as being weak. No one should ever feel scared to go to school, work or social gatherings because 59
There are three types of bullying—verbal, social and physical. Verbal bullying is characterized by saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes: teasing, name calling, inappropriate sexual comments, taunts and threatening harm. Social bullying is characterized by hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes: ostracizing a person, refusing to befriend someone and convincing others to do the same, spreading rumors and embarrassing someone in public. Physical bullying is characterized by physically harming someone’s body or their possessions. Physical bullying include: hitting, kicking, pinching, spitting, tripping, pushing, taking and/or breaking someone’s things and making rude or mean hand gestures. Often we know people who are being bullied. Unfortunately, we may not recognize the signs. Indications that someone is being bullied are as follows,
Makes excuses for not going to school or work.
Is often angry, sad, depressed, withdrawn, self-loathing and emotionally erratic.
Frequently picked on in the presence of others.
Frequently hurt by a particular person or group of people.
Their mistakes are turned into a big deal by someone.
Belongings are often stolen or taken.
Always being confronted with lies and rumors.
If you or anyone you know is being bullied don’t hesitate to seek help.
Bullying and its effects are prevalent in school environments, the work place, socially and on the internet. It’s time to stop turning a blind eye to this injustice. It’s not a rite of passage and no one should feel ashamed to seek help. 60
*For more information visit StopBullying.gov *
they fear the aggression of others. The definition of bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior with the primary goal being to hurt another person physically or mentally. Bullies take pleasure in controlling and showing their power over another.
Up Close with
By: Richarh Aswanu
It seems like I've watched the movie â€œNotoriousâ€? a thousand times. I saw it when it was first released and I try to catch it every time it runs on BET. I have dreams of breaking into the entertainment industry so I love success stories, they inspire me. And let's keep it real, it doesn't hurt that homegirl who plays Faith Evans is a knockout! I fell in love with her eyes and her smile the first time I saw her on the screen. And as I watched more and more, I realized something; she can act. She's very convincing and she played her role with such passion I thought she was really in love with dude (Jamal Woolard) that played Biggie. But who is she? Where did she come from and why don't I see more of her? These questions bug the hell out of me everytime her smile illuminates my screen. And I got tired of wondering, so I decided to just reach out and ask...
Richarh: Hey, how are you doing today? Antonique: I'm great! Really blessed. Thank you. Richarh: What all are you working on? I hear you have a new single dropping in August. Antonique: I do! My very first single! I'm so excited. It's called Hold Up, Wait a Minute! It has an edgy, sassy, young Aretha, retro meets current sound. The lyrics are from the perspective of a woman whose being taken advantage of in her relationship and being disrespected. And Hold up Wait a Minute is that moment where she realizes it. It's a liberation song that I hope will encourage people to take their power back and it can be applied to any injustice; whether it's a hard working employee who's boss treats them like crap, a man loving a woman hard while she's taking him to the bank, people being abused or bullied for who they are or what they believe, social injustice, any injustice. Hold Up, Wait A Minute!
Richarh: You seem very “down to earth” like the girl next door. What keeps you grounded? Antonique: Aw! Thank you. My family keeps me grounded. I come from a big loving family who's always supported me and I have a special needs sister who is my favorite person in the world. Her innocence is incredible to me. She's also quick to tell you to "sit your butt down". She'll keep me humble. Lol Richarh: What’s up with Antonique? When you’re at home all by yourself, what are some of the things you like to do?
different kinds of things... I didn't watch the Atlanta version but Love and Hip Hop is a guilty pleasure. I love So You Think You Can Dance, Idol and The Voice. I'm obsessed with Shark Tank! And I can't wait for Thursday night Grey's Anatomy and Scandal to return! Richarh: What do you do to relieve yourself of the day to day stress of the entertainment industry? What do you do to “get away” and unwind? Antonique: It's been a while but I enjoy getting massages. It also helps heal my body from the tough workouts I do. Watching my favorite shows helps me unwind, playing a game on my iPhone and sometimes I'm so tired that I just pass out asleep! Lol Richarh: Are you a formal steak and lobster kind of lady or are you more of a cheeseburger and fries type of girl? Antonique: You're making me hungry! Lol! I'm a foodie!! I love steak
Antonique: I try to catch up on my TiVo and I read. I'm actually a homebody. When I don't have to go out for business, I mostly chill at home. Richarh: I’m stuck on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, Hit the Floor, and on Tuesdays it’s the Game. What do you like to watch? Antonique: I watch all 63
and potatoes, grilled lobster and burgers and fries!!! And milkshakes. I eat all kinds of things. Richarh: What’s your favorite meal to cook at home? Antonique: I make turkey bacon and oatmeal almost every morning and I make pesto pasta a lot too. Richarh: Your song “Take a Chance” is about being hurt and giving up on love until that one day where you find that special person who makes you want to try again. True artists write from life’s experiences… What did he do? (Smile)
Richarh: If you had the opportunity to spend an entire day with the man of your dreams, where would you go and what would you do? Antonique: I think a wonderful day sounds like breakfast at my favorite pancake spot, lounging on the beach, a movie and dinner at my favorite restaurant Mr. Chow. I've always wanted to have a picnic too. I think that would be cute. And you can't go wrong with a day at Six Flags or any amusement park.
Antonique: Lol! He cheated... ain't nobody got time for that. Richarh: Do you believe true love actually exists? Antonique: I absolutely believe true love exists. Richarh: I figure you’re very busy juggling your acting and music careers. But when the time is right, what’s your idea of a good man?
Richarh: What exactly is your ethnic background?
Antonique: I'm black. One of my great grandpa's was Irish, another great Antonique: My idea of a good man is an grandpa was Jewish and I think we all have some Native American in there. honest man, intelligent, ambitious, hardworking, funny, lover of God, pref- One of my grandma's is part Cherokee. erably chocolate with a pretty smile. His But, I'm a black girl from East Orange, NJ and proud. name is, ha! Just kidding. 64
Richarh: Tell us about your parents? Antonique: My parents are happily married. They've been together since they were 18. That inspires me. They've always loved and supported me... A little over protective. They spoiled me rotten. Lol I'm grateful for them. Richarh: Tell us a little bit about your childhood, what was it like growing up Antonique?
Antonique: I was an only child for a minute so I entertained myself by making up characters and voices on my tape recorder. That was the beginning of where my acting skills came from. I sang in the choir at church from age 7 and my parents kept me busy in dance class and theater workshop not knowing they were laying a foundation for my life. They were just trying to keep me out of trouble. Richarh: What was the defining moment, when you just knew you were going to be an entertainer? Antonique: I've wanted to be an entertainer since I was 3 years old! It must've been a desire I was born with. When I was about 12 is when my parents saw that I was actually pretty good and they began to help me pursue it. Richarh: Do you feel like you’ve been subconsciously preparing yourself for the entertainment industry your whole life? Antonique: Yes. I had the dream of doing it one day but I didn't know that my extracurricular activities and school and church plays were preparing me. I was just doing what I enjoyed. Richarh: Do you have any upcoming movie projects in your sights? Antonique: I do. I'm shooting 2 movies at the end of the year where I’m playing the title character. Richarh: (If so, tell us about it and who you’re starring with, if not skip to the next question) Antonique: I can't say much about the movies yet. 65
Richarh: How do you feel about the independent film industry? Antonique: I love the independent film industry. It gives film makers a chance to make stories that would not otherwise get told and take risks and creative liberties that a film studio wouldn't want to take. It gives actors a chance to dig into layered characters and challenge themselves which is why a lot of the Oscar winning movies and performances are Indies. The 2 movies I'm shooting at the end of the year are Indies. Richarh: Do you believe that music and film complement each other in capturing a story and creating a full experience for the audience? Antonique: Absolutely. A movie wouldn't be complete without music. The music adds to the tone and emotion. Music is what feelings sound like. It's a necessity. And it's the same way for music videos because the visual brings a new light to the song. Music and film go hand in hand. Richarh: If you could produce your own independent film what would it be about? Antonique: I actually have a few ideas that I plan on working on. I don't want to give my ideas away but they will be drama. Lol Richarh: Who would you cast to star in it? Antonique: I don't know... but Denzel is one of my favorite actors. Richarh: Who would you have in the directorâ€™s chair?
Richarh: What artists would you enlist for the soundtrack? Antonique: Me of course! Lol I would absolutely do the soundtrack. Richarh: Your beauty is incredibly versatile, Iâ€™ve seen 9 or 10 pictures of you and you look different in each one, how do you pull it off? Antinique: Thank you!!! I honestly think that's a part of my gift. Richarh: The fact that you can change your look, do you feel it opens you up for a wider range of roles? Antonique: Yes. It's a chameleon quality that allows me to morph into different characters. It's fun too.
Antonique: Not sure what director either... I know so many amazing ones. 66
movie that embodied the “Biggie Era” of hip-hop. That’s huge. You have an entire generation of people behind you who are waiting to see you explode on film, in music and anything else you decide to do. Richarh: What we are all dying to know is; why don’t we see more of you?
Antonique: Aw! Thank you so much. That whole experience was a blessing and it's an honor to forever be a part of Biggie's legacy. I've gotten an enormous amount of love from it. I've been hard at work making something special, from my heart, to bring to the people and Richarh: What is your dream role, something you're about to see a WHOLE lot of me! you Richarh: Since you’re very convincing role Lol as Faith Evans in Notorious, have you found it difficult to make your mark as Antonique or do Richarh: Since you’re very convincing role as you find yourself constantly being compared to Faith Evans in Notorious, have you found it difficult to make your mark as Antonique or do Faith? you find yourself constantly being compared to Antonique: Not difficult at all... People Faith? still call me Faith and they come up to me beat boxing which I think is cute. I Antonique: Not difficult at all... People still call me Faith and they come up to feel like once my song comes out and everyone gets to know me, all the Faith me beat boxing which I think is cute. I feel like once my song comes out and love will turn into Antonique love. everyone gets to know me, all the Faith Richarh: What is your dream role, something love will turn into Antonique love. you feel would be exciting and challenging? Richarh: You’ve put in your work on BroadAntonique: I’ve always, always, always way. You’re a seasoned actress. You’ve starred wanted to do a remake of A Star Is Born in Notorious, you played a thought provoking and I've always wanted to play Lena role in “Yelling to the Sky” and you’ve been Horne in a movie. casted in hit T.V. shows. You always deliver a Richarh: Check it out, I don’t know if you real- stellar performance. You’re not including in ize the magnitude of what you’ve accomplished. any scandals. I don’t feel like you’re getting the I am truly a fan. You played Faith Evans in a attention you deserve. What do you think it’s 67
going to take for you to “break out,” what’s in your way?
Richarh: How did it all come about? You know working with Dr. Dre?
Antonique: Lol! Thankfully I'm not involved in any scandals and I’m gonna keep it that way. There's been moments when I was in my own way. I've fixed that. And it's not the easiest for black girls out here. But, with all the people in the world who are dying to do the things I’ve already done, I feel so blessed. And I believe as I continue to put my heart into everything I do, that my gifts will break me out. My voice, my new song Hold Up, Wait a Minute!!! I'm ready to touch the world. It's happening. Richarh: With your starring roles in Notorious and Yelling to the Sky and the following you have behind you, why did you choose the independent role instead of going after a label?
Antonique: Well, everyone knows me from Notorious so I was blessed to make awesome industry friends. We played Dr Dre my music and he loved it. He gave me a track to write to for my album and he had me do a hook for Detox. Richarh: What was the experience like? How did it feel to work with a produce who has such a successful track record for making hits? Antonique: It was amazing. Dre is one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. Richarh: Once it was established that you were going to work with Dr. Dre, what sounds were you looking for?
Antonique: My whole project has been Antonique: I chose the indie route with a labor of love... and everyone involved, including Dr Dre, Toby Gad, Danja my amazing manager Darryl Farmer Handz, Jukebox etc. all worked with me because it allowed me the freedom to sound, look and feel the way we wanted because of their appreciation for the gift God gave me. It all just flowed. and to do it on our own time table. It keeps us in the driver's seat and we can Richarh: When can we expect your album? take risks that a major label wouldn't Antonique: I'm not sure when we want want to take...very similar to the indie to put the album out. The priority is movie industry. You're getting 100% getting Hold Up, Wait a Minute to the Antonique and you're getting it now! world. 68
Richarh: What can we expect to hear, is it a lot you're special, knowing you're beautiful and having so much self-love that it of R&B slow groves or is it more up-tempo? pours out onto the people you come in How would you describe it? contact with. When you live and feel Antonique: I like to call my sound "pop/ this way, you're unstoppable because soul with a hip hop appeal to it". My you're drenched in positivity and bevoice was influenced by Whitney Hou- lieve all things are possible. Imagine ston, Celine Dion and Aretha Franklin how different the world will be when and I grew up listening to people like more women feel this way. It will eleMichael Jackson, Mary J Blige and a lot vate our men too. of hip hop. So, I'm definitely gonna have Richarh: What is your mission, what impresyour head nodding. And of course, sions are you trying to leave on the entertainsome ballads in there too. ment industry? Richarh: I read that pride yourself in being a role model for young women. What is the mes- Antonique: I want to touch the world. My mission is to make people feel and sage that you want to send to them and what to provoke people take inventory of are some of the activities or organizations their lives. I want to inspire and liberyou’re involved in that cater to the needs of ate. I want to help. I want to give people young women? an escape and encourage them to action. And I also want to spread some joy. Antonique: I want to instill a sense of confidence in young woman. Not the “I I want to be a light. don't need a man" confidence, but the Richarh: I thank you very much for your time. true female confidence that's about I am so honored to have conducted this interknowing who you are, knowing your view with you. I hope you make Urban Image worth and not allowing anyone to de- your home. You’ll always have a place here. Hit value you. It's about self-love, knowing us up with anything you have going on. Before we go, is there anything you want to say or get across to our readers? Feel free to take the floor… Antonique: Aww! Thank you! I really appreciate that. I just want to thank your readers in advance for coming on this journey with me. It's gonna be an amazing ride. I'm grateful for all the love and I will continue to give you all the best of me. 69
Her: I was with this dude from Fri-Sun. Anticipation had built up cuz we were flirtin/teasin/talkin [trash] blah blah blah... so I let him hit that Fri [night] & the [guy] came in less than 60 seconds. But I’m like “Cool I understand. Let him get himself together so he can get back on the ride.” Look over , [dude]sleep!! I say “Excuse me? I’m still here.” He says he'll make it up next time I come over. It’s Friday though...I’m here until Sunday. I had to take mines! I hate doin all the work. I gave him one more chance about a week later but [he] couldn’t get it up, said it was his BP medicine. I was livid!! My friend said either he's gay or has an erectile dysfunction & is ashamed. I think she was right, it could b either of her reasons. I didnt stay around to find out...lol AHEM… Clearly there has been some deception here. When there is a large build up of sexual anticipation it’s not unusual for some men to ejaculate quickly. HOWEVER… (Franklin from “My Wife and Kids Voice) that trick only works the first time. His gun being out of bullets the ENTIRE weekend was a HECK of a clue that something else was amiss and probably should have been discussed then. Was it you? Were you wearing him out that bad? Had he been wearing himself out prior to you coming? Bad pun- prior to your 71
visit? Something was up. Before you two met up again I would have suggested a phone discussion about it, as these things can be easier to explain when they’re not face-to-face. Now, the fact that he still had trouble performing the next time you were intimate was not only your second red flag but him waving it wearing neon jogging pants in the winter with no shoes on. His BP medicine? Yeah, he’s used that before. He most likely knows exactly what was going on with him, and it sounds like Erectile dysfunction. If he knew he had a possible issue with medication that would affect his performance, why wouldn’t he discuss it with you PRIOR to sex so you wouldn’t be left in a state of WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?! For the second time. It sounds like he isn’t being honest with you or himself. ED is hard for a man to deal with or admit to, especially since that’s how a lot of men measure their manhood within themselves and each other. And it’s not entirely untrue to say that a number of women measure manhood with it as well. So it’s not unlikely that he was too embarrassed to admit it to you, even though it was inevitable that the issue would expose itself (sorry, can’t keep the puns away). Unfortunately, in this deception, he caused a rift between you, not being honest with you and giving you a chance to see if you wanted to work with him and help him deal with this, as ED IS manageable. He may have lost a good woman. Hopefully he’ll learn to be more honest next time, because the next woman MIGHT not bow out so gracefully. Hopefully next time you notice signs of something fishy going on, you’ll address it before you end up hot and EXTREMELY bothered.
Next time, lovelies, Deszion
Make Love Like Lesbian: Getting to Know the Kitty By: Richarh Aswanu
That’s a quote from my upcoming collection of erotic stories entitled Kitty Licker. I stand by it and I believe in it 100%. If you really want to establish a relationship with your woman’s puddy tat, you gotta get down there. You have to pet it, talk to it, kiss it. I’m smiling but I’m serious. Women love their pussies. Some women even name their kitty’s the same way we name our Johnsons. And if they don’t go as far as naming it; they at least acknowledge “her” as a separate entity. I’ve heard many woman refer
to their vaginas in the same manner as they refer to one of their home girls. So, if you want to have a long lasting relationship with your woman you have to learn how to love her kitty kat. I mean love it, care for it, and build a relationship with you it. Not just plowin in and out of it selfishly for your own gratification. Pussies have a mind of their own, a woman can’t control her menstrual cycle (without medication) or when her lil kitty kat “purrs”. If you build a 74
good relationship with her kitty, she can be completely pissed off at you but you will still be able to experience the moist, tender flesh resting between her thighs. Her love button will twitch in her panties the moment you walk into the room. In order to accomplish this type of effect, you have to know her honey pot in and out… If you’ve been following along during this series of articles you should have established a great deal of intimacy in your relationship.
So here’s what I want to do; take a romantic bath with your lady. Use your imagination, maybe play some slow grooves and light a few candles, drink some wine. The bath has a dual purpose. One, it will create an atmosphere of intimacy. And two, it will boost her confidence knowing that she smells nice and fresh. After the bath dry her off sensually and maybe even rub her down with her favorite body lotion. Then look into her eyes and tell her, “I want to get to know your pussy better,” and ask her to lay back. Now it’s your time to get down there, make sure the lights are on so you can see. It’s time to practice the three “E’s”, examine, explore and experiment. Don’t jump right in, ease into it. She’s gonna laugh at you. She might even think you’re a lil crazy. But she’s gonna love it.
thorough examination. You might even want to add a lil role play into the picture by pretending to be her gynecologist. Again, I’m laughing but I’m serious. Pet it, say “Nice Kitty” and give it a tender peck. Then part her lips open and inspect her closely. I mean really look at it. The whole point is getting to know her kitty so you can deliver unsurmountable pleasure. Look at her inner lips observe every crease, every fold. Suck’em gently, lick’em, kiss’em. Tease her. This isn’t the time to bring her to climax, you’re just checkin her out.
Every kitty is different, some have plump outer lips and a tiny The whole experience will be very arousing for labia on her. She’ll tingle with an- the inside. ticipation. You might Some while you give her a
kitty kats are very meaty and have succulent inner lips. And remember what works for one, may not work for another. That’s the beauty of it, with every woman you have to take your time and discover what she really likes. Notice her clit, is it stiff and poking out of its lil hood? That’s a big indicator that she is very aroused. Or is it tucked away, hidden by her skin waiting for you to draw it out with sensual strokes of your tongue? The clit is the only human organ designed strictly for human pleasure. It has over 4000 nerve endings and is very sensitive.
between your index and middle fingers. Be sure to lubricate them with saliva, then gently rub her gently in an outwardvertical motion.
In order to understand the clitoris in the correct perspective, think of it. The clitoris is basically a tiny penis attached to a woman. The female genitalia are similar to ours in a lot of ways. Just like our dicks the clit has a very sensitive head and a shaft that loves to be stimulated. Imagine your lady going down on you, focusing solely on your head. You would tell her to back off of it and work on the rest of your meat. They like to be stimulated in the same manner.
it or by slurping it gently between your lips. Navigate your tongue
gate your tongue through her “canal”, and pay attention to her responses as you experiment with different techniques. Her clitoris has two legs that extend from both sides forming an upside down V shape. You can’t see them, they’re embedded under her skin. The clitoral legs are made up of erectile tissue that fills with blood when she’s aroused. They kind of feel like a pair of hard Don’t just attack her clit, veins. Some women love work up to it. Explore to have them stimulated the rest of her sugar pot while your perform oral first. Stimulate her shaft sex. It’s easiest to find by licking circles around them if you place her clit 76
As her arousal heightens, her legs will stiffen and you should feel them. Now it’s time to explore her sweet little sugar cave and search for that soft spongy tissue located about one to 2 inches inside of the front wall of her tunnel. Don’t just jab your finger inside of her. Run it around her moist opening, then ease it inside. Her G-Spot feels different than the rest of her vaginal tissue. It’s about the diameter of a quarter, but it varies from woman to woman. Some women love G- spot stimulation and others prefer clitoral excitement. In my personal experience, clitoral and G-spot stimulation will cause some women to have very intense orgasms. Very Intense.
So get down there and explore gentlemen. Remember the whole point is getting to know her kitty. So you can please her better. I hope this series of article was entertaining and informative.
her, give her massages. Most important of all, wash her kitty for her. Help her freshen up. Weird? Nasty? Nah, it will pull the two of you closer. You’ll show her that you actually love her I can’t say it enough, fo- kitty that you’ll take care cus on intimacy. Build a of it. It’s a part of life. strong mental connection Do the same thing when with your lady. Pay atshe has a yeast infection. tention to her body, a lot It is what it is, women of signs are there you just get’em. Show her coochie have to learn how to read some unconditional love. them. Wash her up and apply her medicine for her. I’m so in tune with my That’s going farther than woman that I can tell when she’s about to begin her “cycle”. It blows her mind. It’s simple two to three days ahead, her kitty kat’s scent will change. You can literally smell it coming. When it gets there men
have to learn not to turn your back on it. I understand that a lot of men are not into “going with the flow”. That’s fine, but don’t make her feel gross though. Baby
gone she will give it to you like never before. It’s not sex, focus on the intimacy. That’s the trick. Great sex will follow. In my personal experience, clitoral and G-spot stimulation will cause some women to have very intense orgasms. Very Intense. So get down there and explore gentlemen. Remember the whole point is getting to know her kitty. So you can please her better. I hope this series of article was entertaining and informative. I can’t say it enough, focus on intimacy. Build a strong mental connection with your lady. Pay attention to her body, a lot of signs are there you just have to learn how to read them.
I’m so in tune with my woman that I can tell when she’s about to the next man will. She’ll begin her “cycle”. It always remember you for blows her mind. It’s simit. Nurse it back to health ple two to three days until it’s all better and ahead, her kitty kat’s when her infection is 77
scent will change. You Do the can literally smell it com- same ing. thing When it gets there men when have to learn not to turn she your back on it. I under- has a yeast stand that a lot of men are not into “going with infection. It the flow”. That’s fine, but don’t make her feel is gross though. Baby her, what give her massages. Most it is, women get’em. Show her important of all, wash coochie some uncondiher kitty for her. Help her freshen up. Weird? tional love. Wash her up and apply her medicine Nasty? Nah, it will pull for her. That’s going farthe two of you closer. You’ll show her that you ther than the next man will. She’ll always reactually love her kitty that you’ll take care of it. member you for it. Nurse it back to health until it’s It’s a part of life.
all better and when her infection is gone she will give it to you like never before. It’s not sex, focus on the intimacy. That’s the trick. Great sex will follow.
TOP 12 SUMMER HAIR CARE TIPS FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN TEXTURED HAIR By Deszion
It’s hot. It’s humid. Whether your tresses are natural, relaxed, braided or other, it needs specialized care in the super, especially with the severe summers we experience here now due to the changes in the ozone layer. Why do you need summer-specific black hair care tips? The warmer weather, increased humidity, sun-exposure and outdoor activities can take your hair from soft and shiny to brittle and dry. New York City stylist Patrick Wellington spoke about the do’s, don’ts, biggest misconceptions and most useful tools women and men should keep in mind to keep their hair looking great all summer long. Wellington, who was born in Jamaica and trained at the industryrecognized John Atchison Hair Salon, has been in the industry for years. Listen up! We can all use his advice over the next few months. Here are a few simple rules to keep your tresses glowing all season-long. 1. Sunscreens for the hair can protect and nourish. Hats are the old school way to protect hair from the harsh summer sun. But what’s the latest trend in hot weather hair care? “Hats are always good to protect from the sun. But there are some great products that have chemicals like SPF to protect your hair from the sun’s rays,” Wellington told the Grio. “I like Paul Mitchell’s Super Skinny serum and Mizani’s Thermasmooth Smooth Guard Smoothing serum ( I LOVVVEEE THIS STUFF BTW). For women with natural hair, I like Jane Carter’s Nourishing Shine as well. But don’t use 80
2.Transitioning to natural hair doesn’t have to be a shocker. “Depending upon the length of the hair, a lot of women do not want to cut all the hair off at once,” Wellington said about using the summer months to transition to natural hair.
“So I make a few suggestions. You can blow dry it. You can press the roots. Also, workout out the heaviest when you’re going to come and get your hair done, because you don’t want to work out on Monday morning, knowing that you have to go to work and then the rest of the week you’re
struggling with the different textures.” This can certainly help those of us considering doing the “Big Chop” over the summer.
3. Pressing is about trial and error. “Depending on the texture, it’s a trial and error process,” Wellington explained about opting for this summer style. “Try blowing it out, press it and then wet it to see how it is. Sometimes the press and curl does the same thing [as chemi-
cals] in certain sections. You have to test it to see how your hair responds.” If it works for you, pressing can be an optimal summer coiffure for more formal events.
4. There are great products to keep beards moisturized and full. “I like this product by Jane Carter called Nourishing Shine that I mentioned before for all sorts of uses. It really, really adds moisture to hair and can be used for beards,” the seasoned stylist told the Grio. “It’s all from nuts, not from petroleum or anything like that. It’s really good for the
skin as well. It’s a like a lotion. [Men can] massage it into the beard, because it’s also good for the skin as well.”
5. Understanding oils versus serums. “I like the serums, because they’re not too oily and you can use them more frequently. Oil is best when you’re hair is totally natural,” he added. “But
if you use too much oil when the hair is chemically treated, it will weigh down the hair and get dirty faster. So serums are best for perms.” Serums provide a thin protective layer for hair and are synthetic, while oils are usually naturally derived and much heavier. Experiment to learn which is best for your hair, trying the oils and serums recommended by Wellington.
6.Store bought hair color may not do the job. “The color that is seen on a picture on a box is not really the color you’re going to get on your hair,” Wellington warned. “As a hairdresser, we know by looking at certain charts what type of pigment clients have and how to get the precise results. Unless you’re doing black you will not get the exact color you want doing it at home.” So if you are going for some summer shine by adding color to your hair, you may want to seriously consider having it professionally done. Al-
so, protect your color from fading in the summer sun by covering it or dying it a richer color in anticipation that it will fade from added exposure.
7. Do wash your hair at least once a week in the summer. “Summertime always requires a little bit more maintenance. You don’t always have the hats
to cover it up, you always want to look good. It takes a little bit more work; more washing. You’re perspiring; you’re probably working out, so definitely wash your hair once a week.” 83
8. Co-washing FTW! “For those with natural hair you can co -wash and wet your hair everyday in the summertime, if you want to.” Cowashing is the practice of washing your hair with conditioner. Pretty in-
teresting. Have you ever tried it? It helps natural hair retain moisture.
9. Look for products with oils derived from nuts. “Almond, peanuts and coconut are good ones to look for in products,” Wellington recommended. “Moroccan oil is fabulous, but you cannot use too much or it will overweigh your hair.”
10. Don’t over-style. “African-American hair is very delicate and that’s a challenge. You can’t do too much at once,” the black hair care expert continued. “Some clients come in and want color and a relaxer and I have to tell them:
Look, we can do all of those things, but there are repercussions. Your hair will break. So, you have to make a choice, either do one or the other. Or do highlights instead of trying to get the whole head covered.” On top of the stress of being in the sun, you don’t want to put your tresses through too much. 84
11. Leave-in conditioners and swim caps: must-haves for swimming. “At the beach, women can put a leave-in conditioner throughout their hair before they get in the water,” Wellington offered. “This will keep the salt from
stripping the moisture from your hair. But for the pool you shouldn’t have your hair out, because you’re messing with the pH of the water. So you need a swim cap and make sure to wash and
condition right after coming out of the pool.” Right away ladies and gents! That means keeping your favorite hair care products poolside. 12. The most important tip: Love what you have and work it. This one applies year-round. “We have to embrace the individual textures that we all have, because it’s not going to change. You just have to come to love it and be able to work with it,” Wellington concluded. “With our hair, we have curls— [whether] it’s small curls, tight curls, [or] loose curls… so it all varies from person to person. We can’t look at
our girlfriend or at another person and say, ‘I want that.’ You have to love what you have.” AND DON’T FORGET THAT SATIN BONNET! Source: http://thegrio.com/2012/06/01/black-hair-care-the-top-12 85
an interview with Emiaj AhDai 88
I always talk about my love of books and how I am able to pick up the book and caress the pages. For this review I was able to take in the thoughts of Daddy Rich who wrote an awesome shorty short called â€œBy Any Meansâ€?. This book provoked thoughts. It even made ask my family what we would do if we could not afford to medical attention because the system was so distorted. I was able to sit down and chat with Daddy Rich about the story and up and coming projects.
E.Ahdai: What are some other projects you are working on right now? Daddy Rich: Everything I can, you hear me? Lol But I’m doing my Kitty Licker samples to get everybody ready for its release. And I’m getting “Shhh…” part 2 ready for publication. I’m a busy dude. I’m also working on a second book of a possible trilogy. The 1st installment is entitled Sasha. It’s about a bad ass chick who takes over her father’s drug empire while he is incarcerated. The bitch is bad, for real. I’m also working on a steamy, sex charged novel called “Ecstasy” it has a double meaning. I got several story and short story ideas laying around. Plus, I’m always working on Urban Image magazine. My brain won’t be still. E. Ahdai: In “By Any Means” you tapped into the sacrifices we as parents make for our kids; would you have done the same for your kids? Daddy Rich: Hell yeah, By Any Means is exactly what I would do in that situation. That’s why it was so easy for me to write. I knocked it out in 3 days. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t be able to just sit around and watch any of my children die. I’m gonna get out there and get it. I’d risk the rest of my life in prison for my kids to live, in a heartbeat. E. Ahdai: Have you ever thought about making “By Any Means” and full novel?
Daddy Rich: Yeah, I thought about it. But I think it will weaken the story. Any time you “stretch” something, it gets weaker. It wouldn’t have the same impact; it wouldn’t be as fast paced. I’d have to add 200 pages of “cut” to it. You know; a filler. I’d rather leave you wanting more than have you breathe a sigh of
relief when the book is finally over. But I have thought about making movies. E. Ahdai: I found “By Any Means” to be a great story, how did you come with the concept? Daddy Rich: Thank you. My homie, Aste Holmes (May he rest in peace) approached me to do an anthology and the concept was would you do, how far would you go; and I thought , what would I do if one of my children needed a lump sum of money? If it was life or death? That’s how “By Any Means” was born. E. Ahdai: Do you have any writing rituals? Daddy Rich: Yea, I lock myself in my all with a big ole jar of Kool Aid, a cup of coffee, and a bag of plain potato chips and a bag of popcorn. It’s weird, I need the T.V. on, but I listen to the radio. I switch back and forth between the Rap, Hip Hop/ R&B station, and the Old School R&B station. E. Ahdai: Do you write from personal experiences or from others? Daddy Rich: A combination of both, of what I go through and what I’ve seen. That’s why people relate to my characters. I really know or have been around people I pattern my characters after. For instance, Boopsie or Imani, the little girl in the book; that’s my daughter, Stacia, That’s how our relationship was when she was that age. E. Ahdai: When someone reads your work is there anything you want them to take away from it? Daddy Rich: I want my readers to get a real life experience. I want you to be highly entertained and I want your adrenaline to pump. I want you to always remember my work.
“By Any Means “ by Daddy Rich Review by: E. Ahdai
“By Any Means” is the story of a changed hustler; Hakeem. Hakeem decided to make the promise to the people in his life to never put them in a place again where he was placed back in jail. So with that promise he left the drug game and entered into the everyday work force. Can you imagine having every piece of money at your fingertips to working at McDonald’s for minimum wage? That is exactly what happens to Hakeem. After finding out some devastating to news it forced to break his promise. This story takes you on a rollercoaster ride of the how we as parents will make sacrifices for our children. All while dealing with the drama of others. This book makes me think about; what would I do for my daughter to keep her safe and healthy. We are given the job of parenting we are to mold, guide, and protect our children. You may know people in your life that do not take this job seriously. They don’t protect their children; they don’t 92
educate them, etc. I really enjoyed this story I even saw people that are real to me through the characters. Toya was and is a piece of work. I always hate when someone tries to down play someone else because they donâ€™t make as much as they do. A job is a job; as long as a person has one it shouldnâ€™t matter. This doesnâ€™t make someone than someone else. Just think about it; it could be you who are jobless tomorrow and have to settle for a minimum wage job. Toya showed that classic case of the money hungry woman, but once the money stops; he is no longer good enough. My last thought, I would love to see this story as a full novel. I became so engulfed in the story that I wanted to know more like; how they met, how his hustle was before, what happened after getting caught. I do recommend this short story to anyone to read. I give the story five stars. Now Daddy Rich make this into a novel! I give it
*If you want your book reviewed please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com 93
Improving Your Ventures as a Black Business By Talia Rice
In order for black people to excel in business we need to change our mentalities. Technology has come a long way and has advanced a lot of businesses however the black community is far behind in this revolution and the question is why. It is not like we have not accomplished opportunities for each other, created businesses from
Street it was created because the legis-
scratch and held prominent positions in lation during that time wanted to pass this here America, land of the free
right? Have you heard of The Black Wall Street? In case you have not let
me give you a rundown of what it was and what it did for our community. The Black Wall Street Overview: Crazy thing about The Black Wall 96
that would promote segregation. Be-
which included a dance hall, picnic area
cause of that blacks had no choice in
and a swimming pool. His entrepre-
the Greenwood community but come
neurial spirit did not stop there; he and
together and build a community that
his business partner operated an air-
all of the black people could prosper in. line charter service. Oh yeah there is
Lola Williams owned several theatres
more. The Greenwood district was the
and one that was popular at that time
area known for fifteen grocery stores,
was the Dreamland Theater. It housed
four movie houses, two newspapers,
over 750 people and they enjoyed reg- four drugstores, a library, an ambulance service, funeral homes, a hospiularly silent films, theatrical reviews and live musicals. How about the Red- tal, four chili parlors, nightclubs and wing Hotel? All African American peo- thirteen churches! ple worked there and a man named Si- Anything is possible. Now tell me again mon Berry made sure all of them came why we cannot establish this for ourto work through his bus line. Five hun- selves now? What can we do to start a dred dollars was earned daily off of his brand new Black Wall Street? Here are bus line! Berry put that money back in- a few suggestions that can help you to his community by building a park
start a business in your hood. Networking In order to be a success one must be around successful people. Networking is all about meeting people that can take you there and vice 97
versa. The problem with black people
us to physically visit. Social Media net-
is a lot of times once they find out
works are creating more of a conflict
about something or create something
for us rather than advancing us along.
that can build an empire they want to
The many hours that are spent on so-
keep it to themselves. That will not
cial media networks are outrageous.
help create bigger businesses, better
Put that time into use and imagine
schools, and better communities that
what could be done. Two suggestions:
we can be proud of. It is time for us to
1. Besides that profile page you already
step up our game.
have set up create another one strictly
Another problem with blacks is that
for business and only deal with busi-
when you are poor you tend to just
ness. Having personal mixed in will on-
stick around poor people. That is not
ly hender what you are trying to ac-
going to get you to your business goals. complish and 2. Create a brand. Whatever it is you are trying to sell whether Look for people that are where you want to be, make them your mentor.
it is a product or a service do it right.
Even if they do not want to be a mentor they can still be a great networking source for you down the road. Social Media Facebook, Twitter, Google+, we all use them. It is an opportunity to keep in touch with what is going on and to see what our family and friends are up to especially those that are not close for 98
Every move you make needs to be questioned will this excel my brand? Will this get me to the next level and represent me in the light I want to portray?
Technology There is a misconception to blacks and technology. Many believe that Blacks do not know how to use technology however we are here to help you realize why technology is paramount to getting a business started. Technology can help you create
are like the niche you have decided.
and make money off of your business.
Website Websites are easy and cheap to set up. Even creating a blog through WordPress can be set up in less than five minutes. Once you are set up you can include ads on your page that can make consistent money flow into your account. Just make a niche and attract companies that 99
PayPal You have to get paid now you can do it in a simple, free way. PayPal allows you to collect the money from online sales directly into an
account. It is free to set up and free to maintain for the basic account. Say for instance you are a writer. Instead of having your readers go to another site to pay they
can pay right from your website or blog Do you have a specialty? Write about
and the money is transferred into your account. No hassles of the middleman
it. Do you know how many people have eReaders? A woman created an ebook
just plain and simple.
and made a million dollars off of sales in a year! All of her marketing was done through Facebook. Smashwords, Lulu, Amazon and many more publishing outlets allows you to publish ebooks for free. So get to writing something. Maybe you have insight on how to start a business share that information so others can be on the level that you are on. 100
Build an empire, a brand just from your niche.
These suggestions will not solve the problem but these are steps to get us where we need to go. Take the initiative and get us down a better road. The people of The Black Wall Street did not have much but they used the resources that they had to make better communities. There are resources out there. One last thing. Back to my intro, in order to create better communities we need to change our
minds. Know your truth, except it and tell it to as many people as you can because the truth will set you free, I know that sounds cheesy but itâ€™s real. There is so much that you need to learn and once you realize it we can all be a better community! Peace and luv! 101
Welcome to UIM’s Def Poetry Joint Sweet Addictions… His Mind By: Emiaj AhDai
Cold nights covered by warm thoughts of him. There is something about the touch of him that sends my mind in to frenzy, but it doesn’t compare to what his mind does to me. There is absolutely something that turns me
on about a man’s minds. I want to sit on the edge of his words and twiddle my thumbs while he talks on end. I want to listen to every word as it rolls of his sweet tasting tongue. Listen as his words touch my sugar coated walls and I melt. You can call me crazy for wanting to take in passion as he speaks I go un-noticed sitting back watching him be the powerful man that he is…I imagine him questioning me and getting me to see things his way. I hang on to every word as if it was the last time I would hear the sound of his voice.
See this man turns me on like no other. Could it be the power that he possesses that turns me on? I want him to look my way, just a simple glance so he can see the seduction in my eyes. Again I am lost in his words, hanging on for dear
life. Our mental connection cannot be explained. If his mind was lickable like the rest of his body then I would taste him nightly. Overdose on him while he mentally makes love to my thoughts.
There is just something about this man. Could be the suit he wearing that is draped over his body so perfectly? My imagination does not have to run wild because I already know what the body looks like…(I had to bite my lip to that image) Oh the things I would do to him… but for now I will sit back and watch him the man of power make his power moves… The sweet sound of his words allows me to type into my sweet addiction of his mind. This is a never ending cycle that I don’t mind continuing. He speaks. I
listen intensely. He speaks, I cum, intensely. He catches me, catches me sinking deeper into him again OVERDOSING .The chills are worth living is his my destination. I want to get lost in the abyss of his mind. Get lost in the process of his thought. I want to get caught in his brainstorm without an umbrella. I was to be soaked when it comes to him. So on this cold night I am covered in warm thoughts of him. Touching and caressing every single inch of my mind.
Missing You By: Brenda Tashae
Missing You My beloved god sister I hope you don't think I've forgotten you Nope, Not at all I still can't believe youâ€™re not here You're supposed to be right by my side But "GOD" wanted you so much more When I received that phone call I was there but my body was numb You were the best god sister anyone could have
I often dream of being at nannies house But neither of you are there, I still see your smile in my dreams
Letting you go I just can't adjust, After 5 years of your passing I'm still trying to get used to you No longer being here. I loved you then, and I love you now. Forever in my heart """""""""""""Ashley""""""""""""'
Declaration By: Poet Kerry B
I imagine your smile as my sunrise;
I see the stars of Orion's Belt shine In pretty brown eyes, why do you cry? Are you afraid because of past heartbreaks? Sometimes I wish to kiss your pain away;
Your home is here, within my embrace. When your heart beats, my soul sings the melody; Lock me in as if I commited a felony; Your touch is heaven that overcomes the hell in me. I love you with the God in me; Your love is richer than a ball in a Bentley;
Your absence alone breaks me instantly. I want to breathe as you breathe; Open my eyes so you can see The future in store for you in me. 108
Voices By: Bernard Hill
If King had a voice like TysonWould the “I Had a Dream,” speech still be as MightyOf course the words would still pack a punch like lightningBut who would have heard… heard? Would you had of listened? I’m saying this to say something, say what I’m thinkingBecause words are just thought if… not making a differenceIt’s like having a cold; coughing up & not even spittingIf Muhammad hadn’t said Allatl hu akbar- would there be a monotheism The thought that “One God”- came as intuitionSo man could stop idolizing blank missions- envision was I’m visioning- can I get a Woop! Woop!
(I understand) if you’re listening, really listening To speak is an action and silence is meditationLike playing possum as a precaution… I’m talking to that person that’s acting out loud, to start acting out now 109
Before it gets too late- to say something- don’t just fear…. & wait The problem might get away-
And 10 to 30 years later You’re stuck in the same placeA child in side on adults facLearn how to scream/or make some noiseSilence is an option but you can-(pause) use your voiceWe have a choice, to say “no” or voice our opinions All men and women are rulers of our own dominions-
Our area of space, say “get out of my face”, when it feels out of placeThat uncomfortable or untraveled space When someones touching you in awkward ways Do something fast “kick” “punch” or “grab” something in order to say I don’t like this- who knows you might get away