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JULY 2009

1

Uncle Reggie's Magic Radio Issue 1 - A Dark Shadow Over Europe


Good evening and welcome. My name is Reginald Merryweather and I'd like to tell you about some of my amazing adventures. Most of you will know me as the cuddly old codger on the radio. But what you might not know is that I was once part of an elite squad of time travelling super agents fighting to save the world. My nurse would have you believe that I have imagined the whole thing, but I know I didn't.

I remember it like it was yesterday......


CHEZ REGGIE


It was late at night when the telephone rang. That usually meant trouble ahead and tonight was to be no exception. It did however give me a strange tingle of anticipation to think that someone, somewhere might be in trouble. As it turned out it was all of us that were in trouble.


"Hello, Reggie speaking" "Reggie we've detected an unauthorised incursion don't you know. Berlin 1938. Most inconvenient. Our predictions suggest that if the threat cannot be found and neutralised there is an 86% chance that the Axis powers will win the next war." Do we know who is responsible? Yes, I'm afraid it's your old enemy Vera Cruz, but we don't know what form she's taken and we don't know her exact location. We're in a bit of a pickle Reggie. We need you to go to Berlin tonight. "Understood Sir, I'm on my way."


This was very serious indeed. A threat to our whole world and the freedom and fairness we held so dear. But as I rushed to the airfield I couldn't help getting a little aroused by the smell of petrol and leather seats, and the intoxicating growl of the engine.


THE SECRET AIRFIELD The journey to the airfield was over in no time. I would have preferred to fly the Spitfire but they wouldn't let me because I got a little over excited in the cockpit last time.


It was a beautiful moonlit night and I couldn't help wondering what she would look like. The last time I saw her she was so bloody gorgeous that I hesitated for a second to adjust my trousers. It was a terrible mistake and one I cannot afford to repeat tonight.


BERLIN

I walked the streets for many hours hoping to sense her presence or smell her perfume. Then, suddenly, I felt it. A feeling like it was Christmas Eve. She was here. Close. Oh God I must control myself. For the sake of the world.


And there she was.

With her beautiful sensuous curves and smooth body. Control yourself Reggie.


She was sleek, and she was dark.

She was beautiful but impenetrable. And inside the car....... was Vera


I followed Vera's Bugatti round the bend and up a back alley, but although I love to chase a beautiful woman, I do so hate to get involved in any unseemly running. So I'm afraid she eluded me.


Crikey Regggie, this isn't looking good!!!


Fortunately I happened to stumble upon a particular sort of establishment, that I felt might provide some light relief from the rigours of the day. And.....in spite of everything...... I felt lucky.


Well, bless me, if I didn't end up being twice as lucky as I felt. There she was, on stage at the Cabaret Club. My Vera, my beautiful, beautiful Vera, dancing her little booty off, right there in front of me. I began to wonder whether it's better to kill someone who is beautiful, or someone who is ugly. They both have their merits.


As the show reached it's climax, I felt I might be in danger of doing so myself. I had to act quickly!!! Here goes!!! I'm going to pull out my Walther!!!


# Cut out and keep


The Walther PP series pistols are blowback-operated semiautomatic pistols. They feature an exposed hammer, a double-action trigger mechanism, a single-column magazine, and a fixed barrel which also acts as the guide rod for the recoil spring. I felt lucky.


I discharged my weapon.


I don't know whether it was the distraction of her jiggling bazooms, or because I slipped on a carelessly discarded Bratwurst, but I'm afraid I missed my target. And there was to be no second chance. Vera hit her transport button and disappeared in a puff of smoke.


Fortunately, the crowd we're most appreciative, believing our little tussle was all part of the act. I bowed politely and exited stage left.

You may say that I failed in my mission, and perhaps you would be correct. But Vera Cruz would not be back for many years, and the dastardly plans of her masters in the Ludwigian Order, were dealt a crucial blow that night. Time travel is not easy, and the failure of their latest mission would be a severe set back. So the world was safe for now, and I didn't have to kill anybody. Not a bad night's work then?


Time for a glass of port, what?


JULY 2009

1

Uncle Reggie's Magic Radio Issue 1 - A Dark Shadow Over Europe

Story and Artwork by Jason Brown http://www.kooshrecords.co.uk/reg/


A Dark Shadow Over Europe