2019 Christmas & Valentine

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Ümlaut Brooklyn • All cards are A2 size (4.25 x 5.5) and un-greeted inside - Designed and printed in NY on 100% PCW paper and packed in eco-friendly sleeves. Our colorful matching envelopes are also made with recycled paper. • Bottle bags are Super sturdy; big enough for a bottle of champagne with wide twill handles to make carrying easy. Made with 40% grass pulp, durable and reusable. Bag dimensions: 15"H x 4.5"W x 4.5"D. • Gift bags are made to hold a ton of fun. Made of 100% bamboo fiber – a totally renewable resource. Bags are 8” x 4” x 10” with wide twill handles to make carrying easy. Our bags are durable, reusable and best of all re-giftable! • Magnets are made in the US - super strong to hold an endless amount of paper/cartoons/photos and miscellaneous crap onto your fridge and are guaranteed to make you smile! Magnets measure 2" x 3" and have a high gloss finish. • Journals are 5” x 7” spiral bound with 80 lined pages - Designed and printed in the US on 100% recycled paper. Sold in units of 4 @ $26.00. • Notepads are 3.5” x 8.5” with 50 lined sheets and a strong magnet on the back. Printed on 100% PCW paper. Make a list; you know you keep forgetting things… • Desk Pads are 5” x 7” • Compacts, Business Card cases and Pill boxes are all hand assembled in the US and feature our signature images protected by a clear epoxy dome.

ordering information: Minimum order is $135. International orders $400+ Ship free. • All domestic orders ship VIA USPS. International orders ship via DHL. • Refunds & exchanges: Exchanges will be happily made with proof of an item’s damage – a photo will do nicely. All sales are final. • Exclusivity: we are aware of our retailer’s shopping territory and try to honor it as best we can.

OMG - Options! To place your order you can: Use our Website: www.umlautbrooklyn.com and click “Shop Wholesale” Call in your order to: 929-210-9520 Email us your order at: umlautbrooklyn@gmail.com About Us

Ümlaut Brooklyn is based in Brooklyn, NY. What motivates us every day is creating connections between people, bringing laughter and celebrating style. Our greeting cards have a distinctively outrageous sense of humor that serves as an unexpected counterpoint to gorgeous visuals. Retro and vintage inspired. Bright, Bold & Hip, we combine beautiful and unusual imagery with clever thoughtful writing to express every gamut of emotion. We bring that same style and wit to all of our other Products. We Are dedicated to using sustainable materials wherever possible. All paper is 100% PCW and all of our products are produced domestically. Ümlaut Brooklyn is sold throughout the United States and Canada and distributed in Australia and New Zealand.


A2 – 4.25” x 5.5” $2.25 ea / Qtys of 6




You’ve Been A Real Little Fucker All Year, Haven’t You?





I’ve Made My List. I’ve Checked It Twice. And From What I can See… You’re Pretty Much SCREWED


Fucking Kids. Fucking Deer. Fucking Heavy Bag. FUCK

This Year “Nothing” Is The New Gift #nopresentsforyou



Since It Started Snowing All My Husband Does is Look Through The Window. If It Gets Much Worse, I may Have To Let Him Inside



This Year Instead of Presents I’m Giving People My opinion. Get Excited



I’m So Far Beyond “Christmas Cheer” I’m Working on “Christmas Shitfaced”



Here’s To A New Year of Eating Whatever I goddamn feel like, Boozing, and Slacking Off

929-210-9520 / www.umlautbrooklyn.com / umlautbrooklyn@gmail.com


A2 - 4.25” x 5.5” $2.25 ea / Qtys of 6

XM - 01

XM - 02

Sending my warmest wishes for a joyous Holiday season!

XM - 03

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year… I’ll buy my own shit

XM - 04

There’s still plenty of time to completely forget to buy anyone a gift

I’ll be home for Christmas and in therapy the next day

XM - 05

XM - 06

Even Christmas filled her with rage!

XM - 07

Not a creature was stirring…

Naughty list - female


XM - 12

XM - 13

Naughty list - male

XM - 14

Here’s your fucking Happy birthday to me. Merry Christmas to you. Christmas card!

929-210-9520 / www.umlautbrooklyn.com / umlautbrooklyn@gmail.com

Nice package! Nice trim!

Santa drops another log on the fire

XM - 10

XM - 09


A2 - 4.25” x 5.5” $2.25 ea / Qtys of 6

XM - 29

XM - 16

It’s beginning to look Is that a yule log in your a lot like cocktails pocket or are you just happy to see me?

XM - 19

enough wine to get me through christmas

XM - 20

XM - 17

XM - 30

Have a cool yule

Don we now our gay apparel!

XM - 26

XM - 27

Look at this card. It’s Have yourself a swingin’ very christmas-like. little christmas Happy Fucking holidays

Your porn’s arrived!

XM - 28

XM - 31

I can’t believe it’s been North Pole or bust! a year since I didn’t become a better person

XM - 32 Have a Stellar New year!

XM - 21 Ho, Ho, Ho

929-210-9520 / www.umlautbrooklyn.com / umlautbrooklyn@gmail.com


A2 – 4.25” x 5.5” $2.25 ea / Qtys of 6

XM - 35

XM - 34

XM - 33

XM - 36

He Better Not Have Forgotten The Batteries

Trust Me, I’ve Seen Santa’s Sack

Peace On Earth, Goodwill Towards Men

XM - 37

I’m Here To Stuff Your Stocking

Naughty Definition

XM - 38

Humbug Definition

XM - 39

Festive Definition

XM - 40

Fruitcake Definition

929-210-9520 / www.umlautbrooklyn.com / umlautbrooklyn@gmail.com

holiday Gift bags

$3.50 ea / Qtys of 4 (GIFT BAGS - 8” X 10”)

XMBG – 01 Have a cool yule

XMBG - 02

XMBG - 03

Buy my own shit

North pole or bust

XMBG - 04

XMBG - 05

XMBG - 06

Here’s your fucking Christmas present!

Happy Fucking Holidays

I’m Here to Stuff Your Stocking

929-210-9520 / www.umlautbrooklyn.com / umlautbrooklyn@gmail.com

Holiday Bottle Bags

$3.50 ea / Qtys of 4

XMBTB - 01 Buy My Own Shit

XMBTB - 02 Naughty List

XMBTB - 07 Happy New year!

XMBTB - 03 Here’s Your Fucking Bottle Of wine

XMBTB - 04 Warmest Wishes

XMBTB - 05 Don We Now Our Gay Apparel

XMBTB - 06 Enough Wine To get Me Through Christmas

XMBTB - 08 Love The Wine You’re With

XMBTB - 09 It’s Beginning to Look a lot like cocktails

XMBTB - 10 Did Someone Say Cocktails?

XMBTB - 12 XMBTB - 11 Is That A bottle Have a Stellar new Year! In Your Pocket…

929-210-9520 / www.umlautbrooklyn.com / umlautbrooklyn@gmail.com


A2 - 4.25” x 5.5” $2.25 ea / Qtys of 6



LV - 30

I’m Not Wearing Any Pants

LV - 31


I Love Us

LV - 32


Not even Remotely Tired of You Yet

LV - 33

You Really Float My Boat


LV - 11

LV - 12

LV - 15

LV - 17

No One Can Stop Our Love - F

No One Can Stop Our Love - M

You Give Me Wood

You Had Me At “Beaver”

LV - 25

LV - 26

LV - 27

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue Take Off Your Pants

I Love How You Meet My Ridiculously Low Standards

Love Definition

LV – 28 I’ll Do Anything For Love But I won’t Do That

929-210-9520 / www.umlautbrooklyn.com / umlautbrooklyn@gmail.com


A2 - 4.25” x 5.5” $2.25 ea / Qtys of 6

V - 02

V - 03

V - 04

Valentine pressure

Is that a banana in your pocket?

I tolerate you

V - 01

I’m still not touching it

V - 05

V - 06

V - 10

V - 12

It’s yours forever

My thoughts are filled With you, my deer


Go Go Valentine

V - 07 You make me horny

V - 08

V - 11

Love Hurts

I Love You

929-210-9520 / www.umlautbrooklyn.com / umlautbrooklyn@gmail.com


The Ümlaut Brooklyn Young Artist Grant How do we best give thanks for being able to run our own creative company? By supporting the next generation of young artists - specifically creative kids in high schools working hard so they can also have a future making a living In the arts. To do our part to help we’ve started The Ümlaut Brooklyn Young Artist Grant. For our pilot program we partnered with the Brooklyn High School of the Arts, a high school in New York that is providing amazing opportunities for students in fine arts, Music, Drama and Dance. In November 2018 we awarded our first grants, and we couldn’t be more excited. four stellar students, one from each grade, were awarded a grant to help fund either some extracurricular education or to help buy supplies that may have otherwise been out of reach. They’re all incredibly talented and have amazing careers ahead of them. We were honored to meet them and to offer our encouragement and support. And thanks to you we were able to do this. Every purchase you make from Ümlaut Brooklyn helps to make this possible and we can’t wait to watch it grow. Our dream is to expand it every year AND to encourage other creative companies to take this idea and replicate it in their communities. We’ve even created a template for how to run this grant program that we will happily give anyone who wants to do the same. All we ask is that they let us know what they’re doing so we can help promote it. To hear more about the program or to get the template to do this yourself email us at umlautbrooklyn@gmail.com or call us at 929-210-9520. It’s so simple to make this a reality in your community and we’d love to help you do it! Jocelyn & Roland