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T h e

U k i a h i l i t e

Volume XXXV

Issue 8

April 27, 2012

New tardy sweep teaches students dependability Sydney Summers-Knight

Staff Writer

The Ukiah High School staff has established a permanent new system that encourages students to arrive to class on time. In this new system, which students have named the Tardy Sweeps, Ukiah High staff members watch for tardy students during passing period. The late students are then automatically given detention slips which requires them to do after school detention or campus beautification. “It is a strategic way to get students to learn about dependability,” said Principal Dennis Willeford. Several advisory board meetings with local businesses brought the issue of dependability and good attendance to the school’s attention. Businesses had made it apparent that they want their employees to have these qualities. The meetings motivated the school staff to start the tardy sweeps. Students seemed to have no urgency to get to class at times like break and lunch. Students have been abusing break , lunch and passing times and are consistently being late to class. The site management team, specifically, assistant principal Jason Iverson came up with the idea of the tardy sweeps. There were reminders in the morning announcements about the system and when it would begin. “The first day the system didn’t work too well, but now it is really easy. We just give a student a slip and off they go,” said Willeford. Many students dislike the tardy sweeps. They complain and argue that it is unnecessary or uncalled for. There was a Facebook page that planned a protest against the sweeps, however, there were no students that followed through with the plan. Students that planned on going to the protest argued that the campus supervisors

What’s inside...

A&E: Fashionclub fieldtrip

could not give all of the students detentions Most students disagree with giving people in class because we want students because there would be so many of them. students detention for being late to first pe- to feel like they own the class and are a part “I’m glad students are looking for riod because of problems such as traffic or of the culture,” said English teacher Chris ways to express themselves, but I do not the student lives farther away than others Douthit. understand why students protest before do. Many students rely on another person Along with the staff members watcheven talking to us about it. There are ways to get them to school and say that it is not ing the students during passing periods, for students to say how teachers make sure if they feel, talking should a student arrives late be the first step,” said to class that they go Willeford. to the attendance ofThe day of the profice. test teachers had been “When students telling students that the come in class late protest was pointless and we send them to the there were other ways to office. We are keephave his or her opinion ing tabs in the classheard. room,” said Douthit. Teachers, also, inTeachers tell formed students that evstudents that when a eryone involved in the single student is late protest would get detenit disrupts the ention. tire classroom and “I thought the prowastes time. They artest was pointless, the gue that it is not fair school made the decision to students who arto make the tardy sweeps, rive to class on time so it’s not like that would that one student arhave stopped it,” said jurives late and waste nior Jasmine Hernandez. the other’s class There are students time. Many students Campus supervisor enforces the tardy sweep, punishing late students with detention that agree with the tardy disagree with this, Photo by: Elijah Kaplan sweeps and think that it is while most students a good idea to make sure who arrive on time that students are punished for failing to ar- their fault if they are late to school when say that it is not fair that a tardy student go rive to class on time. they have no control over when they leave unpunished when other students made sure Some students think that the tardy their house in the morning. to be on time. sweeps makes the situation worse than it “It is not fair to give out detentions The tardy sweep is a fairly simple prowas before by encouraging rebelliousness. to kids who are 2 seconds late,” said cess. It has become a permanent system in Students feel the tardy sweeps are counter- Hernandez. Ukiah High School and does not get in the productive. Staff members argue that the solution way of students who arrive on time. If a “I think that it encourages cutting to traffic and long distances is to leave ear- student can keep from being tardy then the class rather than being on time,” said ju- lier. rule should not be a big issue. nior Odin Hunt. “We are trying to set up a system that “It is a pretty simple process. A stuMany students don’t care about the encourages students to be in class on time,” dent simply needs to take the time to be tardy sweeps because it does not affect said Willeford. sure to get to class and then they won’t get them. Those students, who arrive on time While students, as a whole, have not in trouble,” said Willeford. to class, and do not have problems with be- reacted well to the tardy sweeps, it is doThe tardy sweeps are proving to be ing on time, see no real problems with the ing its job and kids are showing up to class extremely effective. The first day the sysimplementing of the tardy sweeps. on time; the school staff members all like tem began, 93 students recieved detenHunt said, “I don’t really mind, but it the system. tions. By March 26, that number has deis a bit of a hassle if you are really close to “Everybody is in favor of the tardy creased to 21 and the administration hopes being late”. sweeps, it is working really well. We want to see less in the future.

Opinions: reaction to campus tardy sweeps

centerspread: in loving memory

Humor: student drawn comic strips

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April 27, 2012

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April 27, 2012

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The Fashion Club visits the de Young Museum

Kaya Lane

Staff Writer The Ukiah High School Fashion Club will be taking a trip down to the city of San Francisco to view the stunning Jean Paul Gaultier’s work and exhibit. The exhibit is entitled Sidewalk to the Catwalk fashion design exhibit at the De Young Museum on May 12. Jean Paul Gaultier is a French clothing designer and a major fashion icon who’s known for his gender-bending, creative, provocative designs which he uses to address gender and transgender issues throughout the fashion world. According to the de Young Museum site, he also brings ethnic diversity onto the Paris runway; this in itself is addressing multiculturalism issues across the globe as well. His taste and inventive style has made him quite popular across France and very well respected by the rest of the fashion world, according to an article on the de Young museum cite. In 1976, he had his first prêt-à-porter or ready-to-wear collection and had his own couture house started in 1997. According to the de Young Museum’s summary of Gaultier’s exhibited work, his couture designs are decadent, formal, yet playful and entertaining, while his other

By Lauren Vau

collections are based more upon streetwear and infusing pop culture into his works and creations. Gaultier, although he is now in his sixties, has been able to keep the fashion spotlight, despite his older age, appealing to the young and fresh taste of the ‘now generation’ but also by keeping his designs open to the older, classic generation as well. For the exhibit, there will be approximately 140 haute couture fashions which Gaultier has designed when he first started in the 1970’s, up until 2010. The show will also include a variety of multimedia works such as an array of archival documents, sketches, fashion photographs, and video clips that will show his many variations of filmmakers, choreographers, and musicians such as Madonna. Gaultier designed the entire wardrobe for Madonna’s 2006 Confessions tour and designed her famous cone bra for her 1990 Blond Ambition tour. Gaultier paired up with the theatre c Ubu Compagnie de Création Montrealbased theatre company called the and came up with the idea to have 30 animated mannequins that will be sporting many of the different fashions by Gaultier and will also be singing in playful, poetic vignettes to entertain the viewers, making

the experience even more memorable while also creating another fascinating and entertaining element throughout the already stunning exhibit. Many of the Ukiahi Fashion Club

Fashion Club officers pose before the camera

Photo by Elijah Kaplan

students are looking forward to going on the trip and are expecting nothing less than the absolute and utter best from the amazing and iconic fashion deisgner. “I’m expecting pretty much to see the incredible work of Jean Paul Gaultier and to see his many different creations. I think going on this trip and being able to see everything will help with my own creativeness in fashion design and allow

myself to see what I can really do,” said sophomore, and Ukiahi Fashion Club member, Tayler Sawyers. The main purpose of the trip is to allow the fashion club students to have a memorable experience that will open up their minds. Along with this trip, the students will experience the creativeness of the fashion world, and more exceptionally, one talented man’s work. Those going on this trip are excited to see how far their imagination can go by seeing, and experiencing, the edgy, sharp, inspiring, and creative designs of Jean Paul Gaultier. According to many, in the fashion world, there is a fine line between crazy and incredible. For many fashionistas, fashion is like food for the soul. When there is a combination of crazy and incredible expressed throughout the styles and designs of the artist, one will have a chance at success, such as Gaultier has achieved from his famous designs. Tickets to see The Fashion World of Jean Paul Gaultier will start at $20.00 for adults, seniors 65 and older $17.00, students with a current ID $16.00, youth from ages 6-17 $10.00, and children under the age of five get in for free.

Some Like It Haute Happy Spring everyone! Despite the dreary weather, I’m happy the spring season is well underway, and I’m especially excited about the lovely styles emerging on the runway. Shorts, pastels, pleats, and polka dots are the popular trends. Peach is an especially popular pastel this spring because it is far less predictable than classic pink. For an interesting combination, stylists suggest pairing coral or lavender colors, or silvers or nudes for a quieter color palette; to avoid looking washed out, try a punchy lip color. Pleats are extremely popular this season, most common with floor length skirts. I like that the look is versatile; it can be styled to look bohemian or sophisticated. Polka dots are also very on-trend and appropriate for the season. Polka dots, to me, are very youthful and fun; I’m thinking of trying a polka-dot romper or dress. I was fortunate enough to spend my spring break in Texas, where I was constantly chugging sweet tea, wearing sundresses, and fanning myself to keep cool; the weather was in the mid to upper 80’s every single day! While most visit places like Texas to

see family or tour the crumbling Alamo, I went with a group of women to what is considered the largest antique show in the world, Round Top; it’s over 25 miles long! The bigger shows are situated on family farms, while various booths are scattered through small town squares and halls. Style-wise, vintage is really coming back, and the great thing about these shows is that you can find some really unique pieces and negotiate prices with the dealer. Among many great buys, I bought a pair of vintage cowboy boots in great condition for only $48. I also picked up a pretty brooch, a poodle handkerchief from the 1940’s, and some vintage fashion prints from the 1920’s and 30’s that I’ll frame and hang on my wall. I’d like to go a bit off topic for a moment to talk about a crush I’ve developed. JOSH HUTCHERSON! He is most recently known as Peeta from The Hunger Games, but I’ve grown up watching this Kentuckyborn actor in films like Little Manhattan and Bridge to Terabithia. He was recently the “Man of Style” in InStyle, and his interview made me love him even more. “I really love women’s shoes – I think

they’re very sexy. So whenever I go into Bloomingdale’s, I head to the women’s shoe section and think, Hmm, maybe I’ll get my next girlfriend a pair of those,” he said. He’s so adorable, isn’t he? He bakes, has a cool sense of style and an appreciation for shoes, and rides a Harley-Davidson Forty-Eight. Plus, he’s from the South, so I’m sure he’s a gentleman. Marry me. Please? The North Bay Business Association recently named Olivia Walton of Liv Fashion Boutique among its “40 Under 40” honorees, proving small town girls can make good. Ukiah Main Street Program also celebrated the Liv founder as the Best Retail Business of the Year for 2011. Walton is a former Ukiahi fashion student and graduate and has several Liv stores, located in Ukiah, Santa Rosa, and even San Francisco. Way to go Olivia! Don’t forget to support Ukiahi’s Fashion class in their annual fashion show on May 21st; the first show is being held at 3:30 and another at 5:30. The show is sure to be fun for everyone, as the students will model their own creations!


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What is the reaction to the tardy sweep at school? Rebecca Petersen

Staff Writer

As everyone knows, Ukiah High School recently implemented a policy called the tardy sweep. Teachers and campus supervisors do a sweep in the first ten minutes after the bell has rung in search for students who are late to class. The consequences for any student out of class without a pass are usually detention or campus beautifications. The rule that students cannot be late to class has always been in existence--it is not a new rule. Surprisingly enough, the fact that it is now being enforced has brought outrage from many students. Many students who have never stepped foot in A-24 in their entire high school careers now find themselves with one or even multiple detentions. Sophomore Mason Brooks said, “If the teachers have a problem with you being late, they give you a referral or detention themselves. But a lot of teachers don’t mind you coming in when the bell rings, as long as you’re in your seat when they start actually teaching. It just makes more sense for the teachers to enforce it according to their teaching style, instead of the supervisors.” It is true that many teachers do not begin teaching for a few minutes after the

bell, but seeing as they were the ones who voted for the new policy, they must be feeling more aggravation than they show. One extreme reaction to the tardy sweep was the “F#@& the Tardy Sweep Lunch Protest” event on Facebook. The description involved getting 200 students to wait in the tri after the bell for fifth period had rung and refuse to go to class. The idea was that the supervisors could not give detentions to that many students at once. Though when March 30th, the planned day, came around, the tri was empty as the last bell for fifth period rang. Senior Katie Teran complained that it was more the attitude of the campus supervisors that she was upset with, not the fact that the tardy rule is being enforced. “I understand that they want kids to be on time. Just, when supervisors ‘pull students over’ when they are clearly headed somewhere, it gets really frustrating. A lot of the time, students have a perfectly valid reason for being out of class, and have their teacher’s permission. There’s no need to treat us like criminals,” said Teran. This seems to be a common theme of discontent among students. They understand that they should be on time, but feel the supervisors can be a little excessive in the enforcement. The teachers argue that, for two weeks before the tardy sweep was put into effect,

it was announced over the intercom that it would be happening soon, and so students should have prepared for it. Jake Smith, a math teacher at Ukiah High, is the president of the Faculty Association here on campus, the group that voted for the tardy sweep. At the beginning of the year, Smith sent out a questionnaire to the teachers which asked about their main concerns for this school year. Number one on the list was the electronics use policy, which was dealt with earlier in the year. Second was student tardies. Together with the administration, the Faculty Association came up with the tardy sweep policy as a way to motivate students to be on time to their classes every period of every day. When asked about his perspective on students’ reactions, Smith said. “As a faculty, we kind of caught on late to things like the protest Facebook page. I was a little disappointed that out of all the things students could take a stand on, they took a stand on the right to be late to class. But on the bright side, it definitely has shown a decrease in tardies.” Although many students still feel some aspects of the tardy sweep are ridiculous, the general outrage seems to have calmed down. They have found ways to get to class before the bell, and, if necessary, they run.

The freedoms of young adulthood are limited

Kyla Faulder

Staff Writer

For a country that prides itself on giving freedom to its people and bestowing upon them the ability to make their own life decisions on their eighteenth birthday, America’s alcohol system is a bit flawed. One can, at age eighteen, sign contracts, buy cigarettes and porn, rent an apartment, and cast a vote to choose who will run the country for the next four years, but they cannot buy alcohol. Before eighteen, one can join the army, be handed a gun which is arguably more dangerous than alcohol, and fight for his country. They can risk their life for America, but still cannot go to a restaurant and have a celebratory drink. If one is willing to sacrifice his life, one would think they would at least be able to be trusted with a glass of wine with dinner. People can sign legal contracts and rent their own apartment; decisions that are 10x more important than what beer to have, but still, they have to wait three more years to buy that beer. Even more ridiculous is the idea that

people can legally purchase a stick filled with addictive substances, light it on fire, and destroy the lungs of not only themselves, but the people they are around. If they can do that, why not ruin their liver too? Drinking alcohol is a personal decision that, for the most part, does not affect any third parties, and every adult should be able to make that choice themselves. Doing stupid things is not limited to people who consume alcohol. Someone could drive and smoke, text, eat, fix makeup, or be generally stupid and end up hurting others. It is not the alcohol, it is the people. If one were to put a restriction on a certain group to not be able to drink, it should be stupid people. It does not make sense that people can make other important decisions at eighteen, but not this one. The drinking age should be lowered to eighteen, or the age one is considered an adult should be raised to twenty-one, but it is not fair to say, “You’re an adult; you make your own decisions-but this one is made for you.” How does the government trust sixteen-year-olds behind the wheel of a huge piece of machinery driving at 70 miles per hour, but not eighteen-year-olds with alco-

hol. The former is a much scarier thought. The drinking ages in most of Europe is either eighteen or below, and those teens are able to handle drinking much better because they were raised with the ability to access it and become more mature about it earlier on. They were taught to handle it responsibly, and that is how parents should be able to teach children in America. If teenagers knew they were going to be able to have access to it sooner instead of waiting three or more years, they would be less likely to sneak out and drink without their parents knowing and there is a higher chance that they would call their parents for a ride rather than getting behind the wheel of a car. If an eighteen-year-old can be trusted with so many other important things, they should at least have the option and right to buy and consume alcohol, even if they do not plan on using it. Of course, there are always exceptions. There will always be somebody who ca not handle it and does something stupid that results in the harm of other people, but those who are smart enough to do the right thing shouldn’t have a right taken away because of others.

April 27, 2012

UKIAHILITE STAFF Volume XXXV Issue 8 April 27, 2012 EDITORS IN CHIEF Elpitha Evangelatos, Christopher Hardwick, Grace Roderick, Lauren Vau BUSINESS MANAGER Emily Tweedie Elpitha Evangelatos HUMOR Chris Hardwick NEWS Grace Roderick OPINIONS Herron Spence ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Sydney Walls CENTERSPREAD Emily Tweedie SPORTS Danny Selzer Benjamin Cayler PHOTO EDITOR Elijah Kaplan ADVISOR Valerie Warda STAFF WRITERS

Lilian Butzow, Jeffrey Chen, Scott Clemons, Madeline Cline, Ethan Eriksen, Kyla Faulder, Jessica Fausto, Kayla Hammond, Jenna Hester, Julian Hoaglen, Kaya Lane, Kassandra McKee, K.T. Milone, Alexis Nunez, Hugh Pegan, Rebecca Petersen, Katherine Powers, Julie Beth Roberts, Shania Robertson, Sydney Summers Knight

Letters to the Editor The Ukiahilite accepts letters to the editors. The Ukiahilite reserves the right to edit letters for length. Letters must be signed in order to be printed. The Ukiahilite may be contacted at or by mail to 1000 Low Gap Road, Ukiah, CA, 95482.


April 27, 2012 By: Elpitha


STAR testing causes groans among students nationwide

Julian Hoaglen

I know stuff like this is supposed to shake any faith that I have, any real belief system, but with someone this close gone, it just feels wrong to try and say that they haven’t gone anywhere. To think that two wonderful people, filled with potential and driven to really do something—that they just disappear. That they don’t matter anymore. That they had no real purpose— It’s just wrong. They were genuinely good people. Actually honest. Really knew how to live. I have a firm belief that once someone serves their purpose is when they die. I also believe that some people take 103 years to get to their purpose; some people only take 17. And it’s terrible—it’s honestly, really, extremely terrible to lose them. I wish they could have touched more people, could have changed more lives, but so many people in the community came out to their memorials and showed their support and love and talked about how they knew them— I really can’t ask more from them. To see all the people they touched and all the lives they’ve changed is what’s amazing. A part of me wishes they could have lived longer and done what they really wanted to do with what was supposed to be a lifetime, but I think they’re somewhere else now, somewhere much better. A place free from mortal burdens and free of all the pain those who actually knew them are feeling now. Jaycee was a childhood friend—I won’t pretend to be closer to her in these last few years than I really was. I have no right to grieve like we were the best of friends—that’s something that her real and actual close friends get to do. I was close friends with Anthony though. Not best friends. But we were close. Talked all time. He came to my work almost every day. We did our Black Panther signal whenever we saw each other. The shock of never seeing him again has started to really set in. And I’m very sad. I’ve spent the majority of this week staying up until one in the morning just crying so hard that I puke and puking so hard that I cry. The reality of all of this has sent me into a grief process that I should be familiar with enough, but every death brings up the past ones. I haven’t been

grieving with the right people—I’ve been putting my faith and trust into the wrong people because I assume they’re as genuine and honest as I am, and they’re as real as Anthony was, but I’ve been mistaken. But I don’t want to be so stuck on this anymore. I want to remember them—honor them and think of them as I keep moving, as I keep living. Do things for them. To live a little more now. Live a little more openly, live with less fear of the unknown and of the future, because it’s obvious that we don’t always have tomorrow. We don’t even have “in a minute.” I think that Anthony would want me to keep living. To keep a part of him with myself and take more risks. Be more open to the world. Stop being so scared of the future. People say that there’s always tomorrow. That you’ll get another chance. But obviously you don’t always get another chance. You get the here and now. And I don’t want to miss him so much that I stop living—that’s not right. I’m not trying to “keep him alive in my mind.” That’s ridiculous. I like to think that they’re together somewhere. That their souls are happy or that their photons and energy and whatnot is floating around freely—absolutely free from mortal burdens and experiencing something totally new. In the mean time, I’m thinking of my beautiful and wonderful friend who shouldn’t have to suffer a misplaced guilt. Of how wonderful she is and how this should have never happened to her. And I want to change things. I don’t want to resurrect Anthony and Jaycee. I don’t want to change their fate and start a Final Destination scenario. I just wish that this didn’t have to happen. I hope that, with time, she’ll see that she’s not to blame. The “you’re still a good person” stuff makes me upset though. Still? When did she stop being a good person? Never. She’ll always be a good person. I can’t understand why she has to be the one to suffer this, but I’m officially putting my faith and trust into people who deserve it, right here, right now, because I believe she’ll never be a bad person. I’m convinced she’ll always be amazing; it’s just going to take some time for her to see that for herself.

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Staff Writer

Highschoolers are constantly bombarded with tests from teachers, the school, and the state government in order to assess their understanding and ability to do a particular subject. Is there a point, however, where these tests enter the realm of absurdity and no longer achieve the goal of being a good representation of the capabilities of the student populous? A large portion of the student population do not like tests. When one adds the words “state” or “star” in front of the word “tests,” the groans and cries of agony are heard across the nation. In addition, when these words are put together to create the terms “STAR Tests” and “State Tests” they, according to a majority of people, pretty much become synonymous with terms such as “stupid,” or “a complete waste of time.” While there may be a few individuals out there that enjoy these tests, most do not. They may or may not be “stupid,” but the purpose of these tests is to reflect on whether the teachers of these subjects that students are being forced to sit through five days a week are effectively teaching students. For example, the STAR Test is a statewide test that takes place in California and is taken by students from the second grade all the way up to the eleventh grade, having a multitude of different subject tests. The scores that the students get on this test reflect back on to the teacher of the subject test and the quality of the education that the student received. This is why the STAR test is always stressed to students by teachers, because a student’s score not only reflects on the student, but the teacher as well. However, there is more absurdity to this test. For example, this year, like every year, the STAR test will be extended over a period of six days. What does that mean exactly? Well, it means that there will be six days of limited classes and time for students and teachers. The fact is this time that is being taken away from students could be used by the teachers to teach the students life skills that they may be able to use later on in life. Take the math portion of this test - it

goes from second grade math to Algebra I and Geometry and then goes to a test called Summative Math. That means if a student is in trigonometry or above they take this test rather than a test specifically for that subject and it becomes possible for some unfortunate soul to take the same test for two or three years in a row. This is ridiculous. Yes, it is reasonable to have a student assessed to make sure that they are getting the education that they need, but they do not need to be tested over and over again. This does not mean that all tests given to students are bad. One valuable test is the Advanced Placement, or AP, exams. Students in AP or Honors courses are encouraged to take the AP test where, if they pass, they may obtain college credit for that subject. However, there is some ridiculousness to this test too. Such as the near $90 entrance fee that is needed to take the test. In order to be able to take this test students must generally pay this fee from their own pocket. While there may be a great outcome for students who take and pass these tests, the high price discourages some students from taking it. This is a reasonable line of thought when considering that if the student does not pass the test then it will be a loss of $90. College Board is pretty much the supreme leader of all things related to high school and all things needed to get into college. Students who wish to take tests such as the SAT and AP must go through this organization. The idea that one organization could have complete control of all of this is absurdity in one of its many forms. However, not much can be done about this particular issue, so long as College Board has the biggest say in things. So yes, these tests that are forced upon students do enter that realm of ridiculousness and do have drawbacks that make them rather “dumb”. However, when all is considered, these tests are necessary. So as much as everyone may loathe these tests and try to resist them by turning the names of these tests into a negative connotation, it is a pointless battle; because ultimately these tests are needed and cannot be avoided.

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April 27, 2012

C. Douthit

G. Willson


. Sel

D By:

Special thanks to Granger Willson, Chris Douthit, Nathan Summers, Danny Selzer and Cory Daniel for drawing such fantastic comics! In the words of Cap’N Turk, “may the prosperous force live long with you. Gobble gobble. Godspeed.”

April 27, 2012


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COME ONE COME ALL! Please, take a seat, have a drink, enjoy some comics while you’re at it! Drawn by students like you (and old man Douthit) Remember, Big Brother is watching

N. Summers

Also, if you want a comic featured in the Ukiahilite, bring it to room G4




It is just the strangest thing. I have attended this high school for almost four years and had a locker every year, but didn’t realize till last month that I could turn my locker into a cereal bar. I can imagine it in all its glory: boxes and boxes and boxes of cereal, a paper bowl dispenser hanging from the roof, and more than enough milk in the lunch line. Cereal whenever I wish! There’s still time, I must make this a reality. Although I think I just made up paper bowl dispensers, I don’t think that’s actually a thing. YET. It’s basically like a paper cup dispenser, but with paper bowls. I’m chuck full of brilliant, get-rich-quick schemes. If you want to invest, come drop off your life savings in the Journalism room. And wear a scuba suit, I want it to be a clean

deal. Having my license is driving me crazy (Hehe, bad puns). There are just some people out there driving around that really shouldn’t ever be allowed to operate a motor vehicle. I really need to finish my rocket powered, harpoon gun armed, flying boat. Then I’ll never have to deal with bad drivers ever again . Just birds and airplanes and Superman. I started playing this new game called the I-don’t-have-a-job-and-can’t-affordgas-so-let’s-see-how-long-I-can-drivewith-my-gaslight-on game. So far, my record is four days. Luckily, there are a series of hills from my house to the nearest gas station, so if I can at least make it home I can coast to refuel. Also, I’ve adopted this nasty habit of making “future Chris” deal with all my problems. Like if I get home late and my computer is in my car, instead of taking it out then I’ll think “This sounds like a problem for future Chris,” and walk away. Then the next morning I have to go get it. I’m starting to think that past me is a jackass. Of course, I’m writing this column right now instead of earlier because past Chris decided to make me deal with it. At

the same time, I haven’t done a lot of my other homework; I’m saving that for future Chris to do.So maybe I’m just lazy. I wonder if I can hire more Chris’ to do my work for me. I’ve always wanted to hold a Chris Hardwick Convention and invite all the Chris Hardwick’s to it. So far, I know of Chris Hardwick the comedian and Chris Hardwick the Rubik’s Cube genius, but I’m sure there are plenty more. We can all wear name tags that say “Hello, I’m Chris Hardwick” and eat pizza and talk about Chris Hardwick things, like not playing sports and being nerds and loving to eat pizza. While Google searching the Hardwick name I stumbled upon a male model named Carl Hardwick. He has done a looooooooooooooooooooooooot of modeling, and in most of his pictures he is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally naked. In some of them, it’s difficult to tell he’s not wearing a shirt because his chest is so hairy. He literally looks like a gorilla. He also has starred in some films, most of which have all male casts. I thought “HOLY S**T, I’M RELATED TO A BUFF GAY PORN STAR. THIS IS AWESOME.” Then I found out that Carl Hardwick is his PORN name, his real name

By: Chris Hardwick

is Rusty Jeffers. This man adopted my last name as his porn name; I feel oddly proud and a little bit worried. In other news, I have recently starred in my own version of the Titanic. I stared deeply into my friend’s eyes and whispered, “Draw me like one of your Filipino girls.” Then I posed on a bed while he drew me. The outcome is above this column and a fantastic portrait, even though I look like Hank Hill with Ronald McDonald’s haircut. Right now, I have my other friend painting a portrait of me as a centaur holding a broadsword. I am so excited to see the finished product. I think I’m going to use it to pick my roommate when I go off to college. I’ll send possible roomies a picture of the portrait and ask “If I hung this up in the room, would you think I was A) Creepy B) A Freak C) Super awesome, where the hell can I get one of those?!” The correct answer is obviously A, B and C. For this issue, I would like to give a shout out to future Chris. Thank you for doing all the work that present me doesn’t do and past me didn’t do. Rock on America, rock on.

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In Loving Memory

On Friday afternoon of April 6th, two beloved members of the Ukiah comunity

were taken from us. Anthony Delgado and Jaycee Sturges both passed away due to a car accident. Their close friend, Erica Luke, was the only survivor of the crash that happened on the trio’s way home from Shasta. Friday evening friends and family of the deceased gathered at the Alex R. Thomas Plaza after the news had spread rapidly through facebook. Multiple candle light vigils were held in honor of both Anthony and Jaycee. At the corner of State Street and Empire, posters, flowers and candles were placed in memory of the couple on the spot that Anthony was most famous for being the Little Caesar’s sign spinner. Anthony and Jaycee will be remembered forever and loved by all who knew them. An account has been set up at The Savings Bank for anyone who wishes to donate to the families.

Spread One mistake, and fate must take. Anthony and Jaycee, it coulda been me. It coulda been you, now lets pray that Erika makes it through. They were so young, they had so much more. Now they’re climbing the rungs and closing the door. Life isn’t fair-- it took two friends here. Left many in pain; do not let them die in vain. Live everyday as if it’s the last. Forget wrongs from the past. Make amends; turn enemies into friends. I speak this rhyme in hope to preserve their memories through time. Goodbye Anthony and Jaycee; hopefully everyone sees that you died in love, and now you keep watch from above. Gone forever, yet never forgotten.

Poem written by David Fuget I don’t even know how to begin explaining how amazing Anthony and Jaycee were--mostly because they don’t need any sort of explanation. They were the perfect complement--opposites that made each other pop. They were snatched from us, but now they’re off to their next great adventure, and even though their young death is a terrible event, they’re together somewhere. And I think that’s what’s really important. I miss them--everyone who knew them misses them, but Anthony always wanted me to be happy, and, wherever he is, I hope he’s happy too. But how could he not be when he’s with the love of his life? I don’t know where they are, but I know they were wonderful while they were with us and they’re still wonderful where ever they are now. By Elpitha Evangelatos

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Loving support for Brian Harris. You are in our thoughts and prayers everyday. Keep Fighting Little Brother Written by: Michael “Big Mike” Harris The only way I’ve told everybody about this hard time, is through a rhyme Don’t tell me you’re sorry about this sh*t, I stop crying about Brain after I take a hit I will never quit, until you’re cured of this sh*t You’ve been in the hospital for a while, I pray for healing after I read the bible Only god knows what’s going on, all I know is that this isn’t the bomb I’m not playing AAU; the most important thing now is taking care of you I’ve made a huge sacrifice; I’ve even paid the price Looking at pictures of you makes me stronger, this better not go on for much longer

Little brother I know it’s hard to keep fighting, when you’re dying Keep fightinglittle brother… Do it for your dad, older brother, and mother Keep fighting little brother You’re going tosurvive, keep fighting to stay alive Keep fighting little brother Everybody’s going to think you’re cool, when you go back to school Keep fighting little brother Instead of treating you like a reject, they’re going to treat you with respect Keep fighting little brother

Keep fighting little brother… Do it for your dad, older brother, and mother Keep fighting little brother You’re going to survive, keep fighting to stay alive Keep fighting little brother Everybody’s going to think you’re cool, when you go back to school Keep fighting little brother Instead of treating you like a reject, they’re going to treat you with respect Keep fighting little brother

Life is so rough; nobody liked you so they would just throw stuff You would be thrown into a wall, everybody laughed while they watched you fall Good thing you have your brother, that will protect you just like our mother I may be busy playing basketball, once I get you home I’ll have it all It’s true, little brother I love you There ain’t no other, like my little brother All of this is real; I hate telling people how I feel The fire in my heart will continue to burn, I can’t wait for the day that you return

I don’t care, that you lost all your hair You still look the same to me; right next to you is where I should be Who’s to figure,leukemia is one quick killer You don’t understand how much pain we are both in, talking sh*t to him is as in You don’t really care; it’s hard to find him clothes to wear He’s starting to gain some weight back, he’s lucky to have a brother that is black He gets his toughness and strength from me, home is where you should be

Keep fighting little brother… Do it for your dad, older brother, and mother Keep fighting little brother You’re going tosurvive, keep fighting to stay alive Keep fighting little brother Everybody’s going to think you’re cool, when you go back to school Keep fighting little brother Instead of treating you like a reject, they’re going to treat you with respect Keep fighting little brother

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April 27, 2012

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April 27, 2012

A&E Grace Notes

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Cafeteria food to be changed by The Policy Club Shania Robertson Staff Writer

By Grace Roderick

Paris in the springtime is truly beautiful. Trees blossom and tulips grow against the backdrop of the Eiffel Tower; Tourists and Parisians marvel at the city’s beauty. I was lucky enough to experience France and Italy this time of year and will now recount some of my favorite parts of my trip for you. One of the first things I did in Paris was visit the Ile Sainte-Louis. It is the little island in the center of Paris. There’s not much to the Ile-Sainte-Louis, just cute buildings and cobble stone streets; however, it is home to the famous Berthillon sorbet. So while we were there, we tasted some. I tasted the Framboise (raspberry) and the Poire (pear) flavors, and they were delicious. I think pears were destined to be made into sorbet; it literally tasted like it was meant to be. The icy, slightly gritty consistency made for just the right amount of bite. Other flavors include passion fruit, mango, grapefruit, apricot, melon, mint, peach, apple, and many more. The little sorbet shop always has a line full of people. Another experience that took place on the Ile Sainte-Louis was something we just happened to stumble upon. One day while we were there we witnessed a Peugeot commercial being filmed. It was really fun to watch actually. For one little clip of a car driving by it took about 45 minutes to make it perfect, maybe longer. One day we went to Versailles and walked through miles of garden. We saw Marie Antoinette’s “Hamlet” which was so cute. We took lots of pictures and just kind of wandered through the palace. It was a beautiful day too, clear skies and almost hot. We went to the Pompidou, which is a more modern museum. The building is seven stories high. The centers frame work is on the outside creating and “exoskeleton” and all functional structural elements are color coded; green pipes are plumbing, blue ducts are climate control, electrical wires are encased in yellow, and circulation devices are red. The museum has escalators to transport people from floor to floor, but they are not just regular escalators; they are clear tubes that are attached to the outside of the building, so

visitors can see the entire city as they go up and up. Other than the Eiffel tower, the Pompidou has one of the best views of the city. While we were there we saw the Matisse exhibit. The exhibit showed Matisse’s exploration of the same subject repeatedly and how his work evolved with each new recreation. One day we ate breakfast at one of the little cafés on the Rue Cler which is the famous open air market of Paris, although there are many markets throughout Paris. Chocolate croissants and café au lait to start the day right and then we went to Montmartre which is a famous hill in Paris. From the Metro stop we had to walk approximately a million flights of stairs but it was okay. While we were there, my sister and I found the cutest little boutique and I bought my prom dress! After that we walked up more flights of stairs to get to the top of the mountain to see the Basilica of Sacre Coeur. Lots of artists had studios on Montmartre including Salvador Dali, Amedeo Modigliani, Claude Monet, Pablo Picasso, and Vincent Van Gogh. Its name means mountain of the martyr and is called that because of the famous story of Saint Denis, who was decapitated on this hill. It is said that after he was decapitated he picked up his head and walked ten kilometers. For Jordan’s 18th birthday we ate at a restaurant called Procope which is the oldest restaurant in Paris in continuous operation. It opened in 1694 and has been running ever since. Voltaire and Napoleon Bonaparte have eaten there, just saying. After that we went to my parent’s apartment and had cake, champagne and watched the Eiffel tower glitter at midnight. Lastly, a favorite memory of mine was walking through the Galeries Lafayette and the Bon Marche, both are gorgeous department stores. Of course not to buy anything, but just to have a look around while we were there. Paris was amazing. Wandering through Les Halles and along the Rue du Rivoli, stopping at small shops here and there, seeing Notre Dame and walking along the Seine, I couldn’t have imagined a better way to spend my spring break.

such as yogurt or granola. In fact, The Policy Club intends on actually putting in a granola and yogurt bar once their plans are brought to attention and put into effect. “It’s extremely important that The Policy Club and I take charge of the breakfast menu considering that without a healthy breakfast, it’s difficult for students to completely function,” said Zaragoza. Chavez agreed with Zaragoza fully and even added, “Also, if students cannot function, then it affects their grades

Senior Karla Zaragoza, junior Tarrah Crooks, sophomore Esther Razo, junior Mariana Burns and senior Dorali Chavez watched over by director Tarney Sheldon, have created The Policy Club which is ran by the North Coast Opportunity. The North Coast Opportunity is a non-profit organization which serves Lake Mendocino as well as Del Norte, Humbolt, Napa, Solano and Sonoma counties. The NCO encourages people to become more aware of what is currently happening in their community. Also, NCO encourages people to become continuously more active in their and in NCO. NCO also urges people from the local county to help out by creating new ideas and bring their concerns to the attention of Mendocino County Officials. Also, the NCO Karla Zaragoza and Dorali Chavez encourages educational Photo by Elijah Kaplan opportunities and development, which aid people in becoming more self- because they get groggy, grumpy or tired, sufficient. etc. So this change will absolutely make a Each year the North Coast Opportunity positive impact right away and in time as and followers, such as The Policy Club, try well.” to make a beneficial change to schools, If passed, The Policy Club plans on and this year they are focused on the bad being completely finished with the menu food choices for the breakfast menu that is changed in as soon as two months. offered to Ukiah High Students. The new menu, however, will not be Zaragoza, and the others who are going into effect until the beginning of the helping her, intend on changing the next school year to give the schools time breakfast menu and the food choices to change the cafeteria around without depicted at UHS by Ukiah High students disrupting the students daily breakfast and and have been doing so since early March. lunch. Zaragoza and her team have been This would not really benefit Zaragoza working on a survey to circulate in the and most of the Policy Club considering school for the menu change. most of them are graduating this year. However, they have been having In the long run, however, the new and difficulties due to many other students improved menu will benift the well being making surveys and trying to bring them to of current Ukiah High student body and attention to the school board as well. the future students to come. When asked why she felt it was “It is important that we change the important to change the menu, Zaragoza menu because I feel that, even though responded with, “Basically we are trying students have the ability to choose healthy to attract more students at school to eat foods on their own, the school should breakfast and lunch in the cafeteria, and surround their students with healthy because a lot of students at school do options,” said sophomore Kylie Johnson, not even eat breakfast, to bring attention “and if Ukiah High switches up their menu to eating breakfast because it is super to better options, we can influence more unhealthy to skip.” schools in the district to do the same as The Policy Club strongly intends on well as well.” changing the breakfast menu from sugary If anyone wishes to join the cause they options such as the daily cinnamon rolls, can email Zaragoza at karlaz22@yahoo. bread rolls and bagels to healthier options com or contact North Coast Opportunity.

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April 27, 2012

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April 27, 2011

The Lucky One

Madeline Cline

Staff Writer

The Lucky One, a new movie released on April 20, is based on a popular Nicholas Spark’s book. Nicholas Sparks has written 16 romance novels, seven of which have been made into movies. Spark’s most popular book was The Notebook, and the author is well known for making sentimental romance novels that will wiggle their way into the hearts of adoring fans. The storyline is fairly simple. Logan (Zac Efron) is on his third tour in Iraq when he spots a photograph in the rubble. As he picks it up, a bomb explodes where he had been standing, killing several of his comrades. By the time Logan returns home to the states, he’s survived more encounters with death than seems fair, and feels guilty when others died. Logan decides to try to find the woman in the picture, and thank her for saving his life. Somehow Logan makes his way to Hamden, Louisiana. While there, Logan encounters trouble when he first meets

Beth (Taylor Schilling) and somehow does not mention the photograph. Beth simply assumes that he is applying for the job at her dog kennel, and does not seem to like him at first. However, Beth is dealing with the loss of her brother Drake, also a marine, while raising her eight year-old son Ben (Riley Thomas Stewart), and trying to disregard her abusive ex-husband Keith (Jay R Ferguson). Beth’s grandmother (Blythe Danner) on the other hand, likes Logan so much that she hires him on the spot. She seems to be the one source of reason and humor in this story, while she laughs at Beth falling for Logan. Like in most romance films, there is a little drama when Keith threatens to take Ben away using his family power in the small town. Even more trouble surfaces when Beth finds out about the photograph, and is uncertain of the reliability of Logan. As with all romance novels, there is a death or a threat of one and it is uncertain if the couple will find a way for their desperate

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love to survive. There are ups and downs with The Lucky One. The character Efron takes on lacks personality throughout the whole movie. The movie gives no real connection to him and his personality, unlike movies in the past Efron has stared in. The chemistry between Logan and Beth flashes, but never fully rises to the surface. There is no anticipation on whether or not the two will get together. Also, the splendid ex, Keith, is never truly decided on whether or not he is good or bad. Despite the bad script, the movie as a whole is worth seeing. Throughout the movie the setting resonates along with the filming. There are some very touching scenes that in most romance novels would bring about tears, but unfortunately with this film, that does not happen. While there are good points to the film, it is lacking in the aspect of a true romance movie. If one is a true fan of Nicholas Sparks, both in novels and films, one will most likely enjoy The Lucky One.


Flix Pix

The Hunger Games

Lauren Vau


Based off of the popular book series by novelist Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games can be considered a darker Harry Potter, but more sophisticated than Twilight. With a more mature, realistic plot, The Hunger Games is sure to be the next big movie franchise. The story takes place in a postapocalyptic future where a wealthy capitol is surrounded by twelve districts. The Hunger Games is a televised event where one boy and one girl from each of the surrounding districts are selected to fight to the death in an inescapable, “matrix-like” arena until only one remains. When Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) hears her younger sister has been called to join the games, she volunteers herself to be the “tribute”; she is joined by the shy Peeta Mellark (Josh


Hutcherson). Katniss leaves behind her mother and sister, as well as long-time friend Gale (Liam Hemsworth). Katniss and Peeta then embark on a journey to the Capitol, where they will take part in a number of festivities, like a tribute parade and an interview with host Caeser Flickerman (Stanley Tucci). The two meet their often-drunk, but very knowledgeble mentor, Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson), who is a previous survivor of the games. With the help of Haymitch and stylist Cinna (Lenny Kravitz), Katniss and Peeta become a crowd-favorite. Conflicts arise when Peeta announces he has feelings for Katniss. The audience then loves the two even more; however, Katniss is still unsure if his feelings are true, or just part of his motive to gain her trust and then break it in the arena. After days of gorging themselves on decadent food and being pampered by humble servants, the tributes are left in


the arena to kill each other off as the rest of the world watches. Directed by Gary Ross (Seabiscuit, Pleasantville), the film is fresh and entertaining for viewers who have not yet read the book series. The novel and screenplay do possess differences that may cause some disappointment in fans; however, the changes are not enough to change the overall storyline. While Lawrence’s performance as Katniss is not as good as her role in Winter’s Bone, she still captures the raw emotion and embodies the book character quite well. The presence of actors such as Isabelle Furman (a.k.a. Esther in Orphan) is interesting, as well as the always lovable Tucci. Like Twilight and Harry Potter, the film is quite long; however, for those who have not read the book, the film adaptation is a must-see. Even those who see the movie first should read the novel, as it is still quite compelling.

Worthy Effort




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April 27, 2012


Athlete: JT Rohrbough Sport: Varsity Golf By: Ethan Erikson

K.T. Milone

Staff Writer

Whether an athlete kicks a ball or dribbles it, there is no ball on the court when they receive a scholarship for a sport that they put there heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears into it should be noticed. At Ukiah High we have two such athletes, Phoebe Hendry and Chris Berg. These stellar have proven to these college coaches and scouts they are at the skill level to move on. Phoebe Hendry has received a scholarship to CSU Monterey Bay to play for the women’s soccer team. The amount of her scholarship is still not set in stone but she knows that at least two years of her school career are paid for. The money from her scholarship can go to whatever she needs for school. Though CSU Monterey is not Phoebe’s first choice she said, “I really liked the small class sizes. I absolutely love the Monterey area and the coaches are very nice” However Hendry did not get recog-

When the clouds roll in with the cold weather, golf also comes into season, and it has to be led by somebody with the know how to play the game and play it well. This someone is JT Rohrbough, a committed payer on the Boys Varsity golf team. He has been playing golf since fifth grade, but only started playing competitively last year. “The thing I like most about golf is that it’s all on you, there is pressure on things that are super routine,” said Rohrbough regarding golf. Rohrbough always attends his games with a positive attitude and tries to come out on top with the win. He always puts in 100% of his effort when he plays and has played in many games. JT’s most memorable moment in his golfing career was in his match against the number one team in the league, Montgomery. Playing with Javier Torres, he managed to shoot every par and beat the number one and two rated players on the opposing team. Although golf is a very individual

rather than team sport, and Rohrbough enjoys that, he gets help from fellow players. “I don’t really know him, but I have seen him play before and he seems to be a really good player,” said freshman Parker Franz of the JV golf team. “You have to be mentally tough. If you hit a bad shot, you can’t let it ruin your round,” said Rohrbough. He uses this in his everyday routine by never letting a tough situation ruin his day. That is one of the things he says you need to play golf. JT has not won any awards yet, but most probably will in the near future. To play such a tough sport, like golf, one definitely needs some sort of support; JT gets this support from his family. “My entire family supports me. They are huge,” said Rohrbough. His family is always helping him, on and off the course. Rohrbough can’t only focus on golf, and he is always trying to do very well in school. He plans on enrolling at Santa Rosa Junior College next fall, where he wants to study criminal justice. He hopes to work in the department of fish and game. He also intends to continue

playing golf at the college level. “Our team is young but strong and I think we can be in the top three teams in our league,” Rorhbough said. He has high hopes of the team rising above Montgomery and not only entering within the top three teams, but becoming number one in the league. Jokingly, when asked who plays the biggest role in his life, Rorhbough answered “me.” He plays the biggest role in his life, simply because it is his life and he runs it. In all seriousness, however, he said he does not only have one important person in his life; he has many, including his family. “My dad is one of my role models. He seems to always do the right thing and he’s a great dad,” said Rohrbough. JT Rohrbough can be described in two words: hot shot. He has worked tremendously hard to become the skilled golfer he is today and continues to work hard and improve his A-game. While on the golf course or in the community, Rohrbough does a great job representing Ukiah High School. He has the tough golfer’s mentality.

nized through her outstanding playing here at Ukiah High School, instead scouts found her through playing at tournaments and league games with her club soccer team SCU.

to continuing her soccer career at a higher level than she is now. Besides playing soccer Phoebe said, “I’m looking forward to meeting new people and experiencing a life outside of

team could be moving up. Ukiah High’s other athlete who has the skills to move on is Chris Berg. Berg was a player on this year’s football team as well as the wrestling team. Though he is equally talented in both, Berg’s scholarship is for football at Southern Oregon University located in Ashland, Oregon. “The football is great, I love the environment, get to stay close to home, and close to my girlfriend who’s going to Davis!” said Chris on SOU. Because the size of SOU is relatively small, they are not part of the NCAA. However that is not a problem as the school is part of the National Association of Intercollegiate Athletes (NAIA). SOU is joined with other schools California State University- San Marcos is one of the many. Chris is planning on majoring in Criminal Justice and says he is looking forward to the football. When asked what he was looking forward to most about college football Berg said “Definitely the challenge of proving myself all over again, the intensity of practice, of games, and just getting 4 more years of football.”

Seniors Phoebe Hendry and Chris Berg are recipients of sports scholarships

Photo by: Elijah Kaplan

Often this happens with club soccer teams. Showcase tournaments are hosted and scouts from colleges are invited to see what girls they are interested in recruiting for their college. She is looking forward

Ukiah.” CSU Monterey Bay otters are a division 2 soccer team according to the NCAA. They did not rank but perhaps with Hendry’s skills and years of experience the

April 27, 2012


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Ukiah gyms offer many excellent sources for exercising

Ben Cayler & Julian Hoglan Staff Writers Gyms are an important part of small town Ukiah social life. It seems everyone in this town is a member of a different gym. This article means to find the ultimate gym of Ukiah. When it comes to fitness centers, the World Gym, Redwood Health Club, Anytime Fitness, and Mendo Combat Club are all valid options. World Gym does boast a great cardio room filled with high tech stationary bikes, treadmills, stair steppers, and elliptical. Several machines even have attached televisions with basic cable so you can watch the game while you exercise. Watching people exercise while you exercise! Motivation! The weight room is also expansive with plenty of machines specially built so you don’t need a spotter. Speaking of not needing a spotter, the World Gym and World Gyms around the world are open 24/7 for members. The Redwood Health club has sheer quantity! The Health Club has two pools, Jacuzzi, sauna, personal trainers, a stocked

snack bar, racquetball, and classes for about anything you can imagine, in addition to a pretty standard cardio and weight room. Needless to say, it is the largest fitness center in all of Mendocino County and has remained family owned and local for over 30 years. It is friendly and inviting. The Mendo Combat Club has been growing steadily. Obviously, the Mendo Combat Club is local. It is the premiere spot in the Ukiah area to learn Jiu-Jitsu, boxing, wrestling, or just a plain old conditioning class. This club has a 6,000 square foot training facility, and 3,000 square feet mat space. It even has a professional boxing ring! It is the best spot to go if you are interested in any form of hardcore training or self defense. Anytime Fitness truly embodies its name, anytime. For members it is open

24/7 and has facilities all over the world for you to use at anytime. For the traveler it is a no-brainer. Anytime has a safe, go-your-ownpace atmosphere complete with personal training and tanning beds, plus 1,800 facilities world wide. In addition to the personal training and tanning beds, Anytime is also filled with a variety of weight training machines that specifically target particular muscles in your body. Anytime also has a program for its members known as the SLED program for its members to train themselves to the max to receive the full benefits of training. For those people who just want to go to the gym and jump on the treadmill, Anytime also has them along with bikes, eliptical machines, and good old-fashioned free weights. All of these options are great, but ex-

pensive. What if there was an absolutely free option that one could access 24/7! Welcome to the fantastic world of home work outs. There are literaly hundreds of various exercises that anyone can do in the comfort of their living rooms, all one needs to do is use their favorite search engine to look it up. Sixpackshortcuts it an extremely popular YouTube channel that not only features abdominal workouts, but plenty of other exercises that do not require a gym membership. Some do not even need equipment. Walking on the sidewalk is free of charge, so walk or run on the sidewalk! Instead of walking to a destination go out and get some running shoes and jog! It is the classic fat-burning cardio exercise that can be done anytime anywhere. Everyone has a bike right? Simply use the bike for traveling across town. It provides free transportation and exercise! Need strength? Push-ups, sit ups, squats, and burpies are all great ways of building muscle and stamina that can be done in the comfort of one’s own home.

Ben and Danny’s Fity Fity I hate to do this but I must start this issue’s column with bad news. You have probably heard it already but Brian Wilson is injured and out for the season. The MLBs most ridiculous relief pitcher won’t be coming back until next season. Wilson injured his elbow while pitching against the Colorado Rockies. He has stated that his elbow has been a problem since the 2010 season and that pitch was simply the straw that broke the camel’s back. On the bright side this will give Wilson time to hone down his pitching and more importantly give his beard time to grow and uhh, ‘tan’. Wilson will be returning to the Giants roster in 2013. Now for something new! NASCAR! I won’t pretend to know anything about cars, I ride my bike everywhere, but NASCAR drivers are the best it gets when it comes to taking left turns. PERIOD. I’m joking of course. There is a legit skill that goes into driving at that high of speeds. All my NASCAR knowledge actually comes from Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, the movie that defines America. Oh yeah, and I know all about that GoDaddy driver, Danica Patrick. She re-

ally is a nice lady and a respectable role model for young ladies and all women. She proves that women can actually be good drivers! But maybe not, she does is take left turns. NHL playoffs are in full swing! This is a very strange post season filled with plenty of drama and fights. This post season actually already has more fights than any other season in the last 20 years. It is a shame when players get seriously injured, but when it spawns off fights, drama and rivalries, that’s what the sport is about. The Pittsburgh Penguins and Vancouver Canucks are about to be totally shutout the first round. THE FIRST ROUND! The week before I was predicting the Penguins to make it to the Stanley Cup, and the Canucks not far behind. Shout out to Lily Hazel, my #1 fan! Yes, I actually have a fan. Whenever I am done with a new draft of this column she is always the first to copy edit.

Finally the fourth quarter is here and that means daily discgolf runs! I’ve already been going discgolfing everyday anyways but now I’ll be going like twice a day everyday. Unless I keep losing discs, I lost two discs in two days at the college course not too long ago. My brother and I both went to Pacific Outfitters to get some new discs and bags and ended up walking out with a free extra bag because the employee forgot to charge the second one. We were pretty stoked because they cost about thirty dollars a piece so it saved us a lot. How dumb is it that this year’s prom is set to the same date as the SAT? How foolish could our administration be for scheduling it the same day, I mean seriously, who came up with that idea? Summer Waterpolo is starting next month and I am quite excited to start playing again. The first couple weeks are going to be terrible though since the last time

I worked out was about three or more months ago. I recommend that anybody who is interested in playing at all should come to one of the practices and try it out. Last year my good friend Chris Hardwick came to try it out and left about 40 minutes into practice and after two laps had to get out. He did pretty alright as a first timer I suppose. If any of you guys see that Ben Cayler kid walking around you should give him a good punch in the shoulder. He made fun of our fellow pupil, Kaya Lane, by calling her fat in front of all her friends. Thats right, Ben Cayler is a sexist woman hater, and apparently he won’t even write her an apology. I’m pretty bummed that we didn’t have as many fights this year as we did in the past; high school could use a pick me up like a nice fight every once in a while. A while ago in my chemistry class two girls were almost about to fight but it didn’t escalate to that point and we missed out on an awesome cat fight, twas a shame. I’ll have to thank Ben since he loaned me a nice San Jose Sharks shirt after I spilled soup on my own; it was a selfless act from a selfless man, thank you Benji.


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April 27, 2012

Is KONY a phony: the scoop on the viral video Lauren Vau

Editor in Chief

No matter if a person is up to date on the latest news and the hottest topics or not, KONY 2012 is an issue that has become hard to ignore. At the beginning of March of this year, a video made by a charity called Invisible Children went viral, occupying the news feeds of major networking sites like Facebook and Twitter; in six days, there were already 100 million views. The thirty minute video begins with the birth of now 4-year-old Gavin Russell, son of San Diego filmmaker-activist Jason Russell, and shortly after, turns the focus on children in Uganda and neighboring countries who have been abducted and forced to perform atrocities in warlord Joseph Kony’s Lord’s Resistance Army (L.R.A); these abductions have been going on for more than two decades. The film ends by asking viewers to order kits and put up posters on April 20th to do what the charity believes could help catch Kony: make him famous. Invisible Children is supposedly targeting twenty culture-makers, such as George Clooney and Angelina Jolie, and twelve policy-makers, such as Condoleezza

Rice and John Kerry “to use their power for good.” So far, Clooney has remained quiet about the video, while Jolie, who is not associated with Invisible Children, is nevertheless impressed with the campaign according to People magazine. For most young viewers, reactions of the film ranged from anger to sadness, and caused them to immediately buy the kits, which are now sold out, and forward the video to their friends and family. But as quickly as Russell’s video went viral, it raised questions. Many wondered if Kony was still, in fact, in Uganda. What Russell neglected to mention is that Kony and his army were driven out of Uganda back in 2006 and are believed to still be operating in three bor-

dering nations, though the LRA has weakened. But, if Kony’s crimes are so heinous, why is the film so controversial? Some viewers are put off by the conceit of Russell explaining to his preschooler son about Kony; even though he leaves out certain things, people believe the topic to be much too harsh. But those strongly dedicated to the cause were more than happy to buy the $30 action kits, which include merchandise with the KONY 2012 logo. Many wonder if KONY 2012 is legitimate because of the money the charity is raking in. Russell has even said, “It’s not about the money.” KONY 2012 is, in fact, about the

money, despite what its founders say. A recent piece in The Guardian reported that “ is a cash-rich operation, which more than tripled its income to $9m in 2011. Of this, nearly 25% was spent on travel and film-making. Most of the money raised has been spent in the US. The accounts show $1.7m went on US employee salaries, $850,000 in film production costs, $244,000 in “professional services” – thought to be Washington lobbyists – and $1.07m in travel expenses. Nearly $400,000 was spent on offices in San Diego.” In recent months, Russell made headlines for causing a disruption on a San Diego sidewalk; he was naked and intoxicated. A representative of Russel later claimed his strange manner was due to the stress and anxiety he had been under due to the project. Truthfully, KONY 2012 does have its flaws. However, it takes a great deal of strength for one to stand behind their passions in such a public manner. So, judge KONY 2012. Investigate Invisible Children’s intentions. Support the cause or do not. However, do keep in mind the majority of this generation did not know the full extent of the problem until KONY 2012 went viral.

Spring break 2012: the French Club goes to Europe

Grace Roderick

Editor in Chief

On Saturday, March 31, 2012 the Ukiah High School French Club departed at 3:45pm from San Francisco International airport to arrive the next day in Paris. From the Charles De Gaulle airport, the group took the RER train to the 5th arrondissement, or the “Latin Quarter,” where the group would be staying for the entire week. French teacher Kent Porter has a special way of doing things when it comes to the itinerary of the trip. The only guidelines the students had to follow were as follows: 1. Students must travel in groups no smaller than three at all times 2. Students must have a plan before leaving in the morning and all students must being doing something each day 3. Students must be back to the hotel by 12am midnight and 4. Students are not allowed to be drunk at any time. Porter’s rules allow for maximum amount of independence, which enhances the overall experience for the students. In Paris, the students were provided with a Navigo pass, which permits unlimited amount of rides on the Metro. The Paris

Metro is basically a subway system that is taxi. However, if one was looking for a The group was in Venice for Easter super-efficient. The Navigo pass works more romantic form of transportation, the Sunday and got to go into St. Mark’s for the bus system as well, so students famous Venice Gondolas were another op- Basilica that day. The Basilica’s impreswere full equipped with public transporta- tion. sive interior was breath-taking; the entire tion access. ceiling was covered in tiny gold Students got to visit famous and histiles depicting different religious torical sites such as the Eiffel Tower, the artwork. The Rialto Bridge and the Louvre, the Musee d’Orsay, the cataPeggy Guggenheim Musem were combs, the arc de triomphe, Versailles, the among other tourist attractions in Pompidou, and much more, as well as lots Venice. of shopping, eating and practicing their Monday afternoon the group French. took a train from Venice to Florence Experiencing the Eiffel Tower glitwhere they stayed for four days and ter at midnight, enjoying delicious French four nights. While there the group bread, and visiting the Mona Lisa are all got to go into the Accademia and once in a lifetime opportunities that these the Uffizi galleries where they saw students can now cross off their bucket works of art like Michelangelo’s lists. the David and the Birth of Venus by On Friday, April 6th the students Botticelli. boarded a train that would take them from The rest of the trip was filled Paris to Venice, Italy in 17 hours. The stuwith consuming thousands of calodents got to experience being on a train ries in gelato, pasta pomodoro, pizovernight, with convertible beds. Although za, and caprese salads. the train was not as luxurious as the train Sophomore Katie Wong said, in Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient “My favorite part of the trip would Express, it was still a great memory for the have to be looking at all the sites and students. experiencing history.” The group arrived in Venice the next A picture of the Grand canal in Venice, Italy. For more pictures from the day at 10am and then took the Vaporetto, French Club’s trip to Paris, Venice, Photo by: Gretchen Roderick the water taxi, to the hotel. and Florence visit our facebook There are no cars in Venice; the only The group spent three days and two page at to get around is by foot or by water nights in Venice. ahilite.

2011-2012 Issue 8*  

This is an archive of a previous year's publication of the Ukiahilite, Ukiah High's student-run newspaper. It is currently missing page 2.