Page 1

Vol. 81 No.1 24 February 2010

editorial and contents

canta issue one

11 The Black Seeds

An interview with the group playing at this Saturday’s Amp It Up 2 gig

Hey, what’s up, polite niceties, etc. First of all: it was said in Orientation Magazine that you should send your marriage proposals to me. I received a grand total of zero. Needless to say, I am very disappointed in every last one of you. After that auspicious beginning, welcome back to Canta. I’d welcome you back to university, too, but I already did that in the aforementioned O-Mag* and doing it again would just make me seem repetitive and boring, and believe me, we’re already going to run into that problem fairly quickly. (* How’s about we call this one C-Mag? I think it would increase our street cred tenfold.) Amongst many other things, this week we talked to a few lecturers around campus about what it was like when they first started teaching you little urchins. Sure, that might not seem like your average thrilling Canta piece on first glance, but these people make up the other half of your education equation, and seeing things from their perspective turned out to be a really enlightening experience. Turns out, they are just human. Who knew? One of the big running themes of their talks was the need for students – and teachers – to remain engaged, invested, and involved in the process. And that kind of reminded me of something I rambled on in my O-Mag editorial…* (* Behold, the awkward segue.) If nothing else, university represents a choice to think. To avoid running through life on autopilot, and to try and ingratiate yourself in the world around you. But after that positive beginning, it can become unbelievably hard to remain engaged and invested and involved once the world’s pressures start closing in, especially when you’re faced with a constant assailment of classes and work, flat issues, relationship problems, difficulties sourcing good-quality cake, and a seemingly endless avalanche of assignments and tests. Even remaining simply aware is a challenge. And so you have to make that extra effort to keep your head above water, in all respects. That begins now. So, what I’m basically saying is this: get out to some Orientation events. There are still a heap to go – check out all the details on p10, and photos from stuff that’s been on p26. Yeah, that’s right; I’m ending it by trying to sell you something. Basically, I work like a cult: lure you in with hugs, then out come the cyanide and paddles. It always ends with the paddles. All the best for your first week.


Featuring Work By

Communiations Editor Sebastian Boyle

Andy Tan // Chloe Winstanley Nic Brookland // Sharon McIver Lexie Brown // Nick McDonnell Potbelly Hayden // Ann Ebriate Proinsias Cassidy // Doc Spoon Dr. Handsome B. Wonderful, Esq. Analiese Jackson // Sarah Robson

Graphic Designer Gabby Borland Advertising Sales Nicki McDonald Communications Coordinator Luke Spittle Printing By Blueprint

Canta is the official magazine of the University of Canterbury Students’ Association. Opinions expressed may not be those of the UCSA, or anyone for that matter. Canta is brought to you by the letter B and by the number fifteen.

To get in contact see:

16 Flat Life

This week, we take a look inside Tara Street’s Dolls’ House

22 My First Class

Four lecturers talk about their first experience teaching a class

03 – Editorial

Or just look to the left. See?

04 – The President’s Piece Your favourite 2010 UCSA President talks about stuff

06 – News

Things that were, things that are, and some things which have not yet come to pass

28 Canta’s Guide to UC Services

Find out a little bit more about how your levy is spread around

12 - Film 13 – Theatre

Zombies and Shakespeare. DramaSoc is at it with Macbeth Re-Arisen

14 – Music 15 – Ye Olde Pub

Potbelly Hayden gives his take on cider

07 – UCSA

18 – The Reinvention Years

08 – The Inquisition

19 – Eco-my-Flat

Stuff your Student Association wants you to know

We corner random students with a questionnaire that definitely wasn’t put together in the five minutes before deadline

09 – Letters

Students and others ramble on about stuff

10 – Still to Come at Orientation

Find out about all the awesome stuff you have to look forward to this week

Sharon McIver looks at the ways in which you can evolve during uni

Find out how your flat can become more environmentally friendly


Take a gander at the shenanniganry that went on at the legendary Toga Party

30 – This Is How You Will Live Your Life Places to go. Things to try. What to do. What not to do.

// 3

president’s piece



CHILL6 Mountain full-access Season Pass


CHILL11 mountain full-access Season Pass


*Full time student price online until 5th March & on-sale @ UCSA building Fri 26th February. CHILL6 covers Porters, Broken River, Mt Cheeseman, Craigieburn Valley, Temple Basin and Mt Olympus. Mid week season passes also available.

P. +64 3 365 6530 E. W. 4 / / canta one

Photo: S. Waddel, K2 Big Mountain CHILL Series, Mount Olympus

Wow, the first real issue of Canta. Comes around quickly, doesn’t it? Thankfully they’ve changed the release date back to Wednesday (Wenerei), which means I can come in early on Monday morning and write this article… cheers Seb. We’re in the height of O-Week still with more entertaining nights to come. Mark Twain said: “I have never let schooling interfere with my education” and I like that. You should all be making the most of this week to cement new relationships (of all sorts), gain some comfort in your new “parklike setting” (that’s what we call the Uni when they’re selling it overseas; something to do with the trees I think), and genuinely enjoy yourself before the first bout of assessment. Remember, socialising is not a perk of studentship – it’s fundamental to it. Like when parents put their kids in day care so they can “socialise” with other sprogs in the hope they don’t turn out complete munters in later life. I suppose the Foundry is like a crèche in many ways. To all first years, welcome! You will be late to your lectures, not know where your lectures are, and try to sneak in the back of the lecture theatre only to have to climb over people because nobody shuffles to the middle like a logical person would. But mostly, you will sit in the wrong lecture and wait for several minutes listening to the virtues of osmosis before taking your sorry

Arts student self out of the room. As you can tell, I am no stranger to this phenomenon (not osmosis, the lecture thing). It’s all part of it though, so if you make this kind of faux pas, do not be troubled: pick yourself up and get back on the horse. This is not a high school and its waaaay more chillaxed (that’s chill out and relaxed as one word). Someone recently said to me that being a student is like having a unique nationality. It’s true. We do things differently, we care about things most don’t, and we need identification to get anything done. But mostly it’s about the student culture. You are now in a very privileged group that will see you through the rest of your life; make sure the balance of these next years is the right one. Work hard and play hard (get a HardCard too), and make damn sure you don’t do anything stupid and get yourself arrested or kicked out of this place. Remember to take all opportunities that come your way because unlike domestic violence “it is okay,” and this is the time to see how it goes. Get involved, join a club, take up a new sport, do something NEW! Clubs Days are Tuesday and Wednesday (Wenerei) this week – don’t let them pass you by. Stay safe, have fun and look after this place. It’s yours, after all. See you

Rev up for the new year with our tertiary

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Talk to us in-branch. Westpac’s Student Pac eligibility criteria and terms and conditions apply. The $40 account boost is only available to customers approved for an Easy Access Student account between 1 October 2009 and 31 March 2010. Terms and conditions apply to Westpac products and services and are available online at or at your nearest Westpac branch. You can get a copy of the current disclosure statement for Westpac New Zealand Limited from any branch in New Zealand free of charge. Westpac New Zealand Limited.


GOVERNMENT TO CHANGE STUDENT LOAN INTEREST POLICY Gives students best “welcome back to uni” present ever Sebastian Boyle

Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce has admitted the Government will be making changes to the interest-free student loans policy. Joyce told The Press that while the Government was “going to keep the student loan interestfree,” they planned to “look at other requirements around those student loans.” UCSA President Nick McDonnell condemned Joyce’s statements “They are clearly saying there will at some point be some sort of interest put back on loans,” he said.

“If student loans will have interest put back on them, then I would very much encourage us to go back to the streets and protest” - UCSA President, Nick McDonnell


Seeking new blood; also brain, hair, tissue, et cetera Sebastian Boyle

The UCSA executive is looking to appoint an education student to its membership after 2010 executive member-elect Jimmy Haworth resigned to take up a civil engineering job in Vancouver. “It was the ideal position for any civil engineer,” said UCSA President Nick McDonnell. “It was obviously awesome for him, so we let him go.” The executive does not consider a by-election necessary in the circumstances, and will instead appoint the new member by a majority vote of its current members. “If two members of the exec leave, or resign, the constitution says we must hold a by-election,” McDonnell explained. “But that hasn’t happened. Given the voter turnout for last year’s elections, the expense, and the fact it’s the start of the uni year, I don’t think that it’s worthwhile to be holding another election at this time.” The executive is seeking a student from the College of Education for the position. “We want to bring the College of Education more into the fold, as they’re a significant part of the university, but have felt a bit left out of it in the past,” McDonnell said. “Jimmy leaving made a space available purely by chance, so we thought it presented a good opportunity.” The executive is consulting members of the College of Education administration on possible candidates, and will vote on the issue in March.

UC LIVE GOES...LIVE... ICTS Press Release

“What the hell does that say to students, who are already the only group in society that have to borrow to live, and to live below the poverty line?” McDonnell suggested that restoring interest to loans would reduce the incentive for graduates to remain in the country. He also warned students would find any changes to the scheme unacceptable. “If student loans will have interest put back on them, then I would very much encourage us to go back to the streets and protest like we used to.” The announcement follows hints made by the Prime Minister John Key in his opening statement to Parliament that the Government would “take a careful look at the policy settings around student support to ensure that taxpayers’ generosity is not being exploited by those who refuse to take their tertiary studies seriously.” Key accompanied his Parliamentary statement with comments on TV3’s Sunrise programme, in which he raised the possibility of “improvements” to the student loan policy. At the time, NZUSA co-President Pene Delaney warned that such improvements would “put back a serious burden on borrowers who are already struggling in these tough economic times.” The Union rejected any assertion that students did not take their work seriously, and co-President David Do warned that changes to loan and allowance eligibility would hurt students “who are already struggling to make ends meet.”

UC Live is a new world-class portal environment for students. This portal uses Microsoft’s live@EDU technology to offer Outlook Live email and file storage services to our students. UC Live includes such features as 10GB of email storage, a 25GB sky drive for file storage, areas for Announcements and Live Feeds, an Outlook Calendar and much more. Students can access it on or off campus, via Email addresses for students are now, e.g. Emails that are sent to the old @student.canterbury. addresses are being automatically forwarded to UC Live. We are aware that some postgraduate students may wish to retain their @ address, which the UC Live Outlook email does not yet support. If you are in this category and wish to opt out, just contact the ICT Service Desk. This information and much more is available on our ICTS website ( We have published a comprehensive set of FAQs that address all aspects of the UC Live portal, and are being constantly added to and updated. UC is in the global spotlight for being one of the first universities in the world to implement this student portal technology. It is our aim to enable a world-class learning environment for our students, with UC Live being one of the first major steps towards achieving this goal. 1 Canta will cover this more in a future issue, including concerns raised about the new

venture by on-campus groups. 6 / / canta one

ucsa info and events

STUDENT POLITICIANS GO ON WELLINGTON RAMPAGE Analiese Jackson, Satellite and Sarah Robson, Salient

Delegates of the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA) descended upon Wellington in late January for their first conference of the year. Under the watchful gaze of newly elected Co-Presidents David Do and Pene Delaney, members of Students’ Association Executives from across the country mixed, mingled, ate, drank and discussed the pressing issues likely to affect tertiary students in 2010. “One of the main issues discussed at conference was protecting the quality of tertiary education by fighting the threat of Roger Douglas’ voluntary student membership bill,” Co-President David Do said. There was a minor hiccup when keynote speaker Norman Kingsbury was unable to attend the conference due to his flight being cancelled at the last minute. Kingsbury held the NZUSA vice-presidential role in 1955. His replacement, Wellington Central MP Grant Robertson, spoke primarily about the importance of student involvement in the tertiary education sector. Robertson acknowledged he was a “very poor substitute” for Kingsbury, who he considers to be “… an absolute treasure; the taonga of the student movement.” Despite the setback, Do was pleased with the way the conference panned out. “Our conference went very well, and we were very successful in equipping student representatives with the skills and knowledge to face them and stand up for students and the challenges ahead,” he said. “Voluntary student membership will harm the quality of students’ experience at universities and polytechnics by cutting important student services and representation. Roger Douglas’ bill will cost students more, cost universities and polytechnics more, and ultimately cost the government more.” Although he did not attend the conference proper, as the UCSA is no longer a member of NZUSA, UCSA President Nick McDonnell concurred with Do’s comments. “It was shown in Australia that voluntary student membership is damaging, after it cost their government $150 million transitioning services back to universities,” he said. “We are completely opposed to voluntary student membership. It is a destructive bill, and it fractures a vulnerable group of people.” - Christchurch reporting by Sebastian Boyle


Become A Class Rep! Do you enjoy working with people? Do you have a sense of natural justice? Are you looking to become a lawyer, an accountant, a social worker, or a manager (to name but a few)? If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, then CONGRATULATIONS! You’re what your fellow students are looking for- a leader to be their CLASS REP! Since 1993, the University has sought assistance from the UCSA to organise a student representative for each class. These are students who volunteer at the start of each course to represent the interests of the students in their class to the lecturers in charge. They provide feedback from the class to lecturers on good aspects of the course, as well as highlighting any concerns. Throughout the year, hundreds of Class Reps will be recruited in courses right across campus. 1

What would I need to do?

# Keep in touch with the class to collect praises and any issues of concern # Liaise with lecturer(s) and tutor(s) to give feedback # Attend staff/student liaison committee meetings (usually once a term)

How would I know what to do?

1 Class reps have the full support of the Welfare and Advocacy Office, UCSA. The Education Support Coordinators are here to help you. Class Reps have training sessions where they learn about the University system and what they should do. They are also provided with a handbook, which has a question and answer section.

What’s in it for me?

1 Being a class rep isn’t a big job. You gain skills through class rep training # You receive a certificate of service for your CV # You get to know the people in your class # You get to know your Students’ Association # You get to make a valuable contribution to university life So when your lecturer asks for a volunteer, put your hand up! Get active! Get involved! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

UC Festival Of Rugby

Sebrielle Boyland

Returning students might notice something a little different on the Ilam Road side of the university campus. A group of student volunteers coordinated by the Canterbury chapter of the Golden Key International Honour Society are working with Habitat for Humanity to build a house on campus, which will then be relocated to a preprepared block of land in Kaiapoi to become the home of a deserving family. It follows a similar successful build in 2006. Students are encouraged to volunteer in the project by registering at

Prepare for a huge day of rugby out on the Ilam Fields this Saturday! Top of the card is University of Canterbury’s 1st XV taking on the visiting team from Doshisha University, Japan in the Dick Hockley Memorial clash. This game continues a rivalry that has gone all the way back to 1964, so make sure you’re out there to experience a piece of UC sporting history. And if that wasn’t already enough, the day will also see a Sevens tournament featuring eight Christchurch Metro Senior sides, plus invitation teams. So make a day of it at the Ilam Fields this Saturday – 9:30am right through to 5:30pm. Get out and support the mighty UC Varsity Vipers! // 7

the inquisition

1. So, how was your summer? 2. Are you going to any Orientation gigs? If so, what are you most looking forward to? 3. Who’s the most famous person you’ve ever met? 4. How would you feel about the Government adding interest back to student loans? 5. Describe your first day at uni (or how you hope it’ll be) in three words.


NAME: John BA Grad - History

1. Sexy, like constant sex all the time. Like tropical island weekend escapes with my special lady. 2. Shelley Common Room – UC Live Promotions 3. Kylie Minogue. She said I was cute, which meant a lot to me when I was four years old. 4. Social responsibility is the prerogative of all students, and any of John Key’s policies are all good by me. 5.Intimate and special.

NAME: David

i Br



p a rt y r u o

party r u to o

First Year - PE

1. Good. Gold Coast, chilling out and surfing. 2. Comedy Night 3. Dave Grohl 4. Pretty shit. 5. Exciting, fun, easy.

NAME: Brad First Year - Bcom

1. In Timaru rowing. Bronze and silver medals at rowing nationals. 2. Haven’t thought about it yet. Probably. 3. All the NZ rowing team. 4. Pretty gay. 5. Pretty wicked sweet!

NAME: Hot HardCard Girl Fourth Year - Bcom LLB/Bcom

1. In Brazil, but nothing compared to the satisfaction of handing out HardCards. 2. Stairway Party, Amp it Up 2, and cricket. Most looking forward to being recognised as HardCard girl in my time off. 3. A Brazillian pop star. I pashed him. 4. Would not affect UC students due to the sweet, sweet HardCard deals. 5. Got your HardCard? 8 / / canta one

your letters


In which the – eh, forget it…

After what I can only assume was ZERO student involvement, the ICTS have decided to roll out a new email system. Giving it a test drive on the first day I found the web interface failed in Google Chrome and wouldn’t load properly because I apparently had it open in another tab, which I didn’t; it got confused in Internet Explorer and Firefox because I was already signed into a Hotmail address; and it decided that an email sent from my to my new email was junk mail. We sought a response from Information and Communication Technology Services, which follows below – Ed: The new UC Live student portal is all about you – the students. Therefore, student involvement from the earliest development stages of this project was a must, and was conducted via a series of workshops with students randomly selected from all different areas of the overall student body. We were careful to strike a good balance across all ages and academic directions – we even provided pizza! The new student-centred portal was demonstrated to the students in these workshops, and their comments, suggestions and feedback were all noted and referred to during implementation. For example, a clear message we received was that students did NOT want social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter associated with the portal – they preferred it be kept at a more academic level, and we took this into account during development.

A comprehensive set of FAQs has been published on the ICTS website (http://www.icts.canterbury. and on the UC Live interface itself, which addresses such concerns as postgraduate email addresses, Windows Live/Hotmail accounts, and browser compatibility. We are constantly updating these FAQs, and they are well worth checking out as they provide a good overall introduction to UC Live.

— 1

Dawkins Good, OPack Bad

I had intended to get an OPass and go to as many Orientation gigs as possible since I haven’t been to any in the past but the OPack is shit, who gives a fuck about the cricket? Also a while back there was a huge debate about religion and Richard Dawkins was mentioned many times. At the time I had no idea who Richard Dawkins was but now I think him brilliant and recommend him all round.

— 1

Not as easy as its name would suggest

Dear University. I recently went through the process of obtaining my Canterbury Card last week. Passing through the stalls you receive a black bag with “lots of goodies” in it and upon arriving home it came to my attention that I had only received 1 packet of Mi Goreng noddles whilst 2 of my flatmates received 1 packet of Mi Goreng noodles AND 1 packet of Easy Mac Pasta.

Where the fuck is my Easy Mac? What will happen when we decide to have our Easy Mac’s for dinner? I’m going to starve! I want an Easy Mac, it’s not fucking fair. Sincerely Pissed off Luke

— 1

Aww. They had the best shop name ever

Dear Students. We would like to say to everyone, thank you very much for your support while we were at UCSA. We hope that you will have a wonderful time at Uni and wish you the best of luck for your studies. We will miss you. Goodbye everyone. Twin Peaks Food Mart


Letters are good. Send them in by 12pm on Friday and they might just appear in the next issue. Letters should be 200 words or less. Be awesome. You must provide a name (real or a pseudonym) to be printed with your letter. You must include full contact details as well, though these will not be printed. Letters may or may not be edited, depending on how the editor is feeling that day, but usually we’ll go right ahead and let you look like the idiot or genius you are. We reserve the right to abridge or edit for any reason without notice. Letters may be emailed to canta@ucsa., or delivered to the Canta office.

CLASSIFIEDS & NOTICES PIRATES ISLAND MINI GOLF 196 Roydvale Avenue - Russley Christchurch ‘Student Special’ $2 off, now $8.00 per game! Orientation, flat bonding, lots of fun, bring a mate and come on down! Special will last through March 2010. ATTN CATHOLICS Kolbe House is the UC Catholic Tertiary Centre. Join a Catholic network of friends, learn more about the faith. 348-8882,, www. . EVERYONE LIKES FREEBIES!! So AIESEC’s giving you “FREE TEA/COFFEE/BISCUITS every THURSDAY!!!” Swing by the the AIESEC OFFICE window (The entrance beside C2 lecture room!!!!!) UC CAREERS & EMPLOYMENT Discover your options - Level 2, Forestry, 9am – 5pm, Monday to Friday. Phone: 364 3310 Email: Website:

UC Careers & Employment offers a comprehensive range of services including, individual career counselling and daily Drop-In sessions (Mon-Fri, 11am-1pm). Our regular seminars cover; career planning, CVs, cover letters & application forms, interview preparation, assessment centres & psychometric testing, and job search strategies. We also provide tailored seminars to colleges and departments. Our Careers Resource Area includes information on job opportunities, UC undergraduate and postgraduate courses, books, videos, DVD’s and brochures on career planning and job search. Internet access to career information is also available. UCCareerHub advertises job vacancies, for students and recent graduates; summer internships, scholarships and work experience for pre-final year students. To access these opportunities, as well as to find out more about UC Careers & Employment, we encourage you to register on UCCareerHub www.careerhub. See UCCareerHub for details on upcoming campus employer visits. // 9


24 25 26 27 28 WEDNESDAY





10 / / canta one

DUBSTEPS & BEYOND Optimus Gryme, Truth, Pig Out, Joint Forces, P.Vans & Undertow, F*k the Format & more! UCSA Ballroom & Bentley’s Bar - 7pm Tickets: $20 UCSA Members; $25 for everyone else

MOVIE PREVIEW Taika Waititi’s Boy Hoyts, Riccarton - 6.30pm See for ticket details

STAIRWAY PARTY Computers Want Me Dead, Clap Clap Riot, Von Klap, The Don Kings, Knives at Noon, The Unfaithful Ways UCSA Ballroom & Bentley’s Bar - 6.45pm Tickets: $20 UCSA Members; $25 for everyone else

AMPITUP TWO The Black Seeds, Six60, King Kapisi, Dubwize UCSA Amphitheatre - 12pm Tickets: $30 UCSA Members; $35 for everyone else

TWENTY20 CRICKET Blackcaps VS Australia AMI Stadium See for ticket details

MACBETH RE-ARISEN Until Saturday 27th Feb Ngaio Marsh Theatre 7.30pm Tickets available from the Court Theatre



The Black Seeds

The Black Seeds perform at Orientation Amp It Up 2 this Saturday. Tickets are available from and Unimart. 1

# Are you guys excited about playing

Orientation in Christchurch? I’ve been told us Cantabrian students seem to get pretty crazy. We’re always excited about coming to Christchurch. The crowds are always up for a good time, and are very welcoming. We always seem to have really good shows down here. # Are Orientation concerts any different to

your other concerts? I think there’s a really vibrant energy about OWeek shows. For many people it’s their first year of university, so they’re very excited and just keen to get involved in as many new experiences as possible and they are always up for a party! # You guys have been busy becoming famous

worldwide. How are other parts of the world reacting to you guys and your music? Yeah, last year we toured across the United States for the first time, which was a real lifetime highlight for us. The American audiences were just so enthusiastic and welcoming. People travelled from all over to come and see us and we left the country totally blown away by the whole experience. Europe has also been going really well. We had about 2000 people at The Shepherds Bush Empire in London and audiences in both France and Germany have been very positive.


world over with their boundary-crossing fusion of funk, dub, afro-beat, and soul, all mixed with a good dose of vintage reggae. And this week they’re coming back to Canterbury. Ahead of their Saturday Orientation performance, Lexie Brown spoke with keyboardist Nigel Patterson about their history, their future, and just how good this week’s gig is going to be.

# Did you ever imagine that The Black Seeds

would be so successful? Not sure. I think it’s hard to imagine what we thought years ago, but maybe we always hoped we would get to this point. It’s been a gradual process, and a very rewarding one. The fact that we get to tour the whole world and earn a living from what we love really is a dream come true. # A few of your band members have changed

throughout the years – does this affect your sound in any way? Yeah, every musician is a unique entity, so when people change, other things of course change slightly. But I think the commonality of all the band members ensures that the sound remains pretty true to how it has always been. # When you guys aren’t doing Black Seeds stuff,

do you still all hang out? Are you all best buds? Yeah, we are all great friends. Unfortunately, most of the band members now have children, and some live outside of town, so we don’t probably socialise

together as much as we could. And these days we spend so much time together that sometimes it’s actually really nice to have a break from everyone! # You toured recently with US band John

Brown’s Body. What was that experience like? Amazing. Totally a lifetime highlight. Thanks, JBB! # What’s in the pipeline for The Black Seeds in

2010? Well, currently we’re just finishing off our summer shows; then we have a week-long tour in Australia in mid-March, and probably back to Europe and the US in mid-July. Also, we’re slowly starting work on some new material for another album – which is very exciting! # What’s some great advice for anyone who

would love to be great musicians like you one day? Love what you do, and never give up! !

/ / 11



Boy explains away his dad’s temporary absence at the start of the film as due to his busy schedule as a war hero, deep sea diver, and brother to


“He’s your average country kiwi kid: hangs out with friends harvesting pot, talks to his goat, uses a vacuum cleaner to give himself a fake hickey...”

Written & Directed by Taika Waititi When a movie kicks off with the same lullaby that accompanied Goodnight Kiwi, you know it must be doing something right. Throw in “Poi E,” repeated references to ET: The Extra-Terrestrial, and an 11-year old boy’s hero worship of Michael Jackson (before that whole thing was “iffy”), and you’ve got a beautiful mix of warm ‘80s nostalgia with a distinctly kiwi flair. Boy (James Rolleston) is an 11-year old living with his younger brother, Rocky, his Nan, and a seemingly unending gaggle of cousins in a rural community on the North Island’s East Coast in 1984. He’s your average country kiwi kid: hangs out with friends harvesting “adult lollies” (pot), talks to his goat, uses a vacuum cleaner to give himself a fake hickey. And he’s a dreamer: telling tales about his daring exploits, and, most importantly, those of his absentee father, Alamein, for whom he is named

acclaimed recording artist Michael Jackson. The truth of the matter is that Alamein is in prison for knocking over a petrol station. Bummer.


Written by Andrew Kevin Walker & David Self Directed by Joe Johnson This Victorian-era horror remake is rife with mystery, intrigue, and the fear and dread of rich English folklore… for at least its first half. Benicio del Toro steps into the role of patriciate Lawerence Talbot, who has recently returned home on news of his brother’s grisly departure. Anthony Hopkins plays Sir John Talbot, the aged father of the estate who welcomes his remaining son home with open arms, but hides a deadly secret. Emily Blunt is on par as the pale potential love interest/ saviour, while Hugo Weaving is at home as Scotland Yard’s Detective Abberline. The film is paced fairly rapidly, and before long the audience finds itself amidst a mess of entrails and carnage. As with the shark in Jaws, the Wolfman is kept hidden to better create tension and fear; its appearances kept to mere shadows and glimpses of hair, inflicting swift and juicy brutal deaths. Unfortunately, the full figure of the beast is revealed too soon, as is the process of transformation from human to beast and back. Close up, the manhunting marauder looks more like some of Canterbury’s hirsute uni-goers, foregoing a unique superhuman guise for a more familiar Hollywood quality. Del Toro’s sullen features and hulkish frame nonetheless make him a fitting match for the bleak landscape of chilly England, and a believable choice for the bristly menace himself. Hopkins delivers a quality portrayal of a fellow flesh eater… which audiences might find reminiscent of one of his more infamous roles. - Nick Brookland 12 / / canta one

While Boy’s Nan is away at a tangi, Alamein returns to the family after seven years away. He brings with him a horde of “gifts” of dubious provenance, a mission to find some buried treasure in a local field, and, most importantly, hope for Boy that he’ll have a family again… or at least someone to threaten the local bullies. But the father of Boy’s fantasies isn’t exactly found in the self-absorbed, sometimes petulant, shambolic reality; the leader of a self-styled, three member “gang” (“We’re renegades. We live outside the law, but are still cool. Like the A-Team, or Hulk”), Rolleston delivers a particularly effective performance as the title character. It’s not a showy role – there’s not quite anything in the realm of the “Oscar clip” school speech of Whale Rider – but Rolleston plays it with an unflagging enthusiasm throughout. He feels like a real kid of the ‘80s, but one with sufficient charisma and depth to hold the film together. Equally impressive is Te Aho Eketone-Whitu as Boy’s younger brother, Rocky. Rocky is a quiet, reserved boy, burdened with misplaced guilt over his mother’s death, which occurred during his birth. He hangs out at the cemetery and believes he has magic powers. Again, your average kiwi kid. Director Taika Waititi (Eagle vs Shark; Two Cars, One Night) is carving out a name for himself as a filmmaker with a knack for telling small character stories with charm and wit. Boy represents a more mature mix of his past works’ best elements. It retains the quirky tone of Eagle vs Shark, but whereas that was sometimes forced and tiresome in Eagle, it fits the perspective of an 11-year old boy here perfectly. It takes the underlying heartbreaking innocence of Two Cars, One Night, and holds it across an entire feature. But most importantly, it manages, for the most part, to balance both the poignant and the hilarious. - Sebastian Boyle

Boy plays as part of Orientation on Thurs 25th Feb. See page 10 and for details. The film enters general release on March 25th.


Written & Directed by


The All Blacks have finally been drop-kicked onto the big screen, and by none other than director Clint Eastwood. Although the seasoned all-rounder foregoes an onscreen appearance this time, his talent behind the lens doesn’t disappoint. Recently elected to power, South African President Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman) finds his country still split firmly by racial division. He identifies a means to help unite the country in winning the 1995 Rugby World Cup. Enter Matt Damon as Francois Pienaar. A seemingly average bloke at the head of a doomed Springbok legacy, Pienaar is enlisted by Mandela to help lead the team – and, ultimately, the coun-

try - to victory. Standing dead in their path are the formidable New Zealand All Blacks. Not surprisingly, the film comes down to a climactic showdown between the two teams. Tensions grow on and off the field between the “blacks” and “whites” of South Africa, while Mandela hangs on to an almost intangible dream that come to fruition only in the final seconds of overtime. Damon gives a commendable portrayal of the charismatic Pienaar is commendable, a character who seems to share, or at least understand, Mandela’s vision of a unified people. A dedicated cast and exceptional director deliver well on material that should be familiar to kiwis. - Nick Brookland




Macbeth (Episode I – TheHighland Menace) concluded with one of the bigger cop-outs of literary history. The title character, unable to be harmed by any person “of woman born, is instead killed by someone delivered by C-section. Dwah? Dramasoc’s production of Macbeth Re-Arisen suggests matters were not quite so simple. Instead, the machinations of the prophesising Three Witches return Macbeth to this mortal plain as a shuffling, brain-craving creature of the undead, intent on returning to his post as ruler of Scotland. And as Macbeth seeks to commit unadulterated regicide once more, his world-weary nemesis Macduff must embark on a perilous journey into the underworld to secure the means to defeat the undead tyrant. Australian playwright David Mence’s script isn’t just a surface imitation of the Bard’s style. The whole play is written in iambic pentameter, and while not quite historically accurate (intentionally so), it still integrates remarkably well with the work it succeeds. Simon Fergusson’s Macbeth (or “Macdeath”) has at times a lumbering, dreamy delivery; but the reintroduction of a character from his past invigorates him into a character of keen action. Fergusson gives the most rousing performance of the show when he addresses his horde of zombie


Written by David Mence Directed by Emma Cusden & Erin Harrington

minions, sitting before him like a class of primary school children… albeit very pale, decaying children with a propensity to groan and moan in an unnerving manner. Gene Banyard delivers a faultless performance as Macbeth’s nemesis, Macduff. Banyard’s lean frame, rough beard, and scraggly hair give the character an underlying weariness, but it’s tossed asunder by flashes of determined, purposeful intensity. It’s a testament to his performance that you’re always anticipating his next return to his story. The show’s design is wonderfully evocative, with a well-designed and utilised set. Dominated by a dingy, deteriorating castle exterior; streaked with dirt; and framed by a rather ominous tree and the Chekhov’s gun that is Lady Macbeth’s grave, it serves as an effective reflection of the title character’s undead state. The detail is superb

– right down to the puppet crow pecking at Macbeth’s not-entirely quiescent corpse. Julie Clark’s makeup design is equally impressive. Macbeth’s pocked, scarred visage is topped off by a mighty wound around his neck; evidence of the comprehensive severance package rendered unto him in the story’s prequel. Let’s face it: you go to a zombie play to see zombies, and the team deliver them in spades. Macbeth Re-Arisen continues Dramasoc’s long tradition of theatrical excellence, and is an especially fine choice for an Orientation week production. Because, really: what student in their right mind doesn’t want to see a play that carries the line “Your army of zombie minions is useless!”? - Sebastian Boyle Macbeth Re-Arisen runs at the Ngaio Marsh Theatre until Saturday. Tickets from Court Theatre.

/ / 13




THE PRIMER NAME: Massive Attack GENRE: Trip-Hop START WITH: “Teardrop”, “Unfinished Sympathy”, “Angel”, “Inertia Creeps”, “Protection” ALSO RECOMMENDED: Burial – Untrue, Portishead - Portishead, Björk - Homogenic

With the release of their debut album Blue Lines in 1991, Bristol natives Mushroom, Daddy G, and 3D  did what only a tiny number of bands ever manage – they created (although some would say popularised) an entirely new genre of music. That genre would later become known (much to the band’s chagrin) as “trip-hop” – a blend of subdued hip-hop, dub and electronica with soulful vocals, all slowed to feathersinking-in-golden-syrup velocity. With its mix of live and synthesised instrumentation, guest vocalists, and samples, Blue Lines is held up not only as triphop’s blueprint and a great chillout album, but as a bone-fide classic in its own right, constantly landing on “best albums ever” lists. Notably, it also launched the career of a chap named Tricky. In 1994, MA followed up Blue Lines with the disappointing Protection, a laid-back but mostly bland album that MA smartly allowed DJ Mad Professor to remix nearly immediately after its release. The result: No Protection, a far superior album that features heavier beats, sliced and reshuffled vocals, and, importantly, excitement. Despite growing tension between Mushroom and the other members of the group, MA roared back to relevance in 1998 with their best album, Mezzanine. This disc sees the darker undercurrents hinted at on Blue Lines and Protection engulf songs completely, lending a welcome sense of unease

and danger to the MA sound. Opener “Angel” finds frequent MA guest Horace Andy singing lines from his delicate 1973 ballad “You Are An Angel”, but the couplet “Sent from way above/To bring me love” never sounded so sinister. Even the achingly tender “Teardrop” chills, particularly if you’ve seen the accompanying video. Unfortunately for MA, when the time came to record 2003’s 100th Window, Mushroom had left the group and Daddy G was “on hiatus”, effectively leaving 3D to record a solo LP. The production on the resulting album is brilliant, but world music influences, subtle-as-a-brick-through-a-window warbler Sinead O’Connor, and a lack of surprises make 100th Window easily the weakest album in MA’s discography. It is remarkable, then, that seven years later MA have managed to record an album that actually isn’t terrible. Sure, Heligoland is monochromatic and flat dynamics-wise, but it hits more than it misses, the return of Daddy G obviously pulling 3D back from the brink of muzak hell. The lurching, sombre “Pray For Rain” (featuring TV On The Radio’s Tunde Adebimpe) and the more propulsive “Babel” (with Martina Topley-Bird) are a solid opening pair, and “Girl I Love You” - with its insistent bassline and sunny lyrics over a brooding accompaniment - might well be the separated-atbirth twin of Mezzanine’s excellent “Angel”. Elbow singer Guy Garvey also proves a good choice of guest for the Massive lads, as he spookily croons “How does it feel to kneel at the feet of the choices you’ve made?”, on the standout noise-scape track “Flat Of The Blade”. The remainder of the tracks (the terrible “Psyche” notwithstanding) are pleasant if unremarkable, but overall MA have done enough on this album to show that they – along with trip-hop - are not irrelevant just yet. - Proinsias Cassidy

SCALPER Flesh & Bones


Since becoming “Scalper” in 2000, the former frontman of ‘90s hip-hop group Fun-Da-Mental, Nadeem Shafi, has released three EPs, Flesh & Bones being his solo LP debut. Originating from East London, Shafi now operates out of Auckland’s West Coast in our very own Aotearoa New Zealand, producing unique hip hop with an individual touch. I have to admit something. When I was first handed this album by the glorious Editor of the creative genius that is Canta (that should earn me some brownie points), I was slightly sceptical. I have never been a huge fan of this “hip hop” the youth of today like to party-on-down to, and the name of the artist, the name of the album itself, and some of the song titles… well, they scared me. However, after playing the songs through a few times, I found myself growing more interested. It isn’t like this newfangled “boom boom chikky chikky” that seems to pollute the society of today. The music, on close listening, actually has meaning (as opposed to the “bitches-and-hoes” crap proving popular at the moment). “Threepointfour” and “Shadows” both caught my attention particularly. The album’s eleven tracks are separated into two parts by the instrumental “Numbers.” This sounds less threatening than the others, perhaps due to its absence of lyrics, but also because the music itself seems gentler than the confrontational tracks that preceded it (which incorporate such friendly lyrics as “ravishing, relishing, genocide, bloodshed.” Mmm. Yummy.). The songs that follow continue the less “in-your-face” trend, and require a wee bit of thinking about the messages behind the words. Flesh & Bones includes all the lyrics in the pull-out-paper part, so you can have a merry sing-a-long, and the cover is made from recycled materials (Snaps for Scalper!) I might not have gone out and bought the album for myself, as the artist’s verbal skill makes me slightly anxious. However, it is definitely worth a listen... … just don’t do it alone. - Doc Spoon

14 / / canta one

music / drink

With Pot Belly Hayden

The uni year has begun with a hiss and a roar, like putting a red hot lion in water and then asking it to roar. And as we all know the university year is always started off with a healthy dose of partying courtesy of Orientation. The top two remaining gigs at Orientation for 2010 as decided by the people at RDU are listed below. You should really make sure you see them, or if you don’t see them, make sure you at least read this and you might glean enough to carry off a half-convincing conversation with someone who has! 1

1. AMP IT UP TWO This gig is also gonna be (as the kids say) the Shiznit! Although called Amp It Up Two, it doesn’t mean it’s not as good as Amp It Up One, and with a line up likes of The Black Seeds, Six60, King Kapisi, Teremoana Rapley, Dubwize, JDubs and El Pasko you can be assured a damn fine time to say the very least. Amp It Up Two is on Saturday 27th of February in the UCSA Amphitheatre from midday, so get on down there for a whole day of great tunes.

Settling back into the uni lifestyle feels like putting a pair old socks back on: you know you can’t wear them much longer, but goddamn are you going to wear them till they fall apart. I’m not quite sure what use that metaphor was or what it’s doing here, but I hope it allows you to get to know me a bit better as a person. For those of you who are new to my column, I write beer reviews, and so it’s with a trace of irony that my first review of the year is a cider. I don’t think I’ve reviewed a cider before, though my memory is that of any other uni graduate: shot to shit by all the useless info we’ve had to cram into it over the years. I digress, for the reason I’ve chosen to write my (possibly) first cider review is that only a blind man could not see that it’s a growth industry in the boutique alcohol world. My hypothesis is that there are three reasons for this growth: 1

# As more and more fine English ciders come to New Zealand, interest in

ciders better than Scrumpy is increasing. # Some people who can’t handle beer but don’t want to seem like a complete

tosser at a party are turning to cider over RTDs. These people are indeed still tossers who need to do a beer bong. # Many carefully brewed ciders can indeed be complex and refreshing, and

the general public could be coming to their senses. Whether or not one of these reasons is correct is for you to decide. Today, I merely give you today’s review:

Eve’s NV Cider

Price: $6.99 . Size: 500ml . Alco: 5%

2. STAIRWAY PARTY If you like your night a little bit debauched, with rocking guitars, tweaks, and electronic beeps, then this is the one for you - a big night split over two bars with the cream of the NZ Rock & Indie scene bringing in a big old time of pulsing, sexy, jump around music. This... will... be... large... Christchurch! So there we have it – the best of the remaining Orientation gigs according to RDU ... well according to the homeless guy who lives under the sink at RDU ... he’s really nice and eats all the old coffee beans and half tins of dog food in the fridge. Last thing: get a free RDUnited membership and be in to win a trip to Australia – come on into the RDU office for your free membership (normally $20). It’s the only way to win sweet prizes on the radio, and your only chance to win our awesome tickets for two to Australia to see a gig surrounded by hot Aussies! Thanks to our friends at Pacific Blue and Moshtix ! Have a great Orientation! See ya there!

Look #

Pours a light copper with a thin one finger head. The intense amounts of bubbles rush to the surface to ensure that an excellent lacing is maintained.

Smell #

Sweet and crisp, yet with a slight tartness at the back. Like most ciders the smell doesn’t jump out, rather, it sits subtly in the glass instead.

Taste #

Beautiful crisp aged apples buzz over the tongue with a refreshing hit, followed up by a sour tartness that sits merrily in the mouth and creates a delightful aftertaste. The final sip is a sweet surprise as the lacing all collects together.

Drinkability #

Early on the high carbonation can give this a bit too much bite, but this doesn’t hang around too long. Overall this is very easy drinking cider that is up with the cream of other kiwi cider. New Zealand ciders are gradually becoming better and better, slowly eliminating the old idea that cider is a cheap and easy way to get drunk. Add to this the age-old English ciders of which we’re seeing more and more, and it’s safe to say that ciders are worth more of a look these days from beer drinkers who may have just ignored them in the past. ! Love Beer? Join ABC Beer suggestions email me / / 15

flat profile


16 / / canta one

flat profile

This is our second year living here. It’s pretty transient. We’ve probably had about twelve different flatmates, with an average of about seven at a time. We’re above the “Peverel Line,” so that’s always positive. We’re not quite on the good side of Riccarton, but we’re not on the boring side, either. It’s got a bit of a reputation dating back a few years. There’ve been a lot of UCSA and club presidents and exec members through here. Because it’s so central, and everyone knows Tara, and expects you to throw parties, you end up doing weird shit. People end up running for execs, committees, presidencies and stuff. I think that’s one of the sweetest things about the place. The most famous party here is the “Tarapalooza,” which is the pre-Stein party. It’s become an institution now. Last year we wanted a carnival atmosphere, so someone got in touch with the Mr. Whippy van. He came around, saw there were about 200 students in costume, and just turned right around and got out of there. He was having none of it. The worst part about flatting is we don’t have a dishwasher. It’s all good being a mess, but if you’ve had a shit day, and you come home and there’s nowhere to sit because it’s covered in fucking corn cobs for some reason, then that’s not so great. Or when they do a flat inspection, take down a poster, and ask “what’s this stain on the wall?” It of course came from when you threw a rolled roast against the wall in a food fight. Tara Red Cards are intense. We had the “Into the Wild” Red Card. We were dressed up like hobos, for some reason. We got dropped off on the other side of Hagley Park, with three fence boards. We had to get back to the flat without stepping on the pavement. You had to do a team relay – all get to the last board and then pass the board to the front. We got stopped by the cops three times. Course, if you’re dressed as hobos, walking down the road with planks, the cops have every reason to stop you. We generally have a good relationship with the cops in Canterbury, compared to Dunedin. That really helps. There’s probably also a bit of code of honour in Canterbury as well. If you go to someone’s house for a party, you don’t fuck it up. We haven’t done anything criminal, I think. Is it criminal to burn your own fence down? Most important things flatting? If someone eats all the cheese, kick them out. And get a heat pump. / / 17


Sharon McIver 1


If you’re “fresh off the bus,” congratulations: the world is yours. Here you have the freedom to become the person you’ve always wanted to be (unless your folks are funding your education – then you may have to double code). For those who still live close to (or with) your parents, or who come as part of a posse from high school, it may be harder to swap your stilettos for gumboots, rugby shorts for stovepipes, or Nike for anarchy, but being a student at least provides a perfect excuse. If you’re returning, you may have established an identity already – boozer, nerd, loner, slacker, whatever – that will possibly see you through to the end of your degree and beyond. But is it one you like? After all, no-one wants to be the guy at the twenty year Ensoc reunion chundering into the punch bowl and trying to convince his mates to drink it. With such a range of identities available, why not try on a few until you find a unique combination that suits you? If you start out wanting to be a lawyer, but realise that you prefer environmentalism, you can usually do a bit of both at uni. Like teaming a collar and tie with combat pants and tramping boots, find the right combination and you might just pull it off. Post uni, you’ll have a choice: environmental lawyer, law-savvy environmentalist – or both. Identity is not fixed – you get to work on it all your life. Back when I was a first year student, living in a cardboard box, eating hot gravel for breakfast, I was already what is politely referred to as “mature.” Having left school at 17, I’d spent the first decade of adulthood trying on a myriad of “vocations” (banking, hospitality, retail) and had eventually loathed each one. Periodically, I dreamed of going to uni, but didn’t believe my intellect was up to it. After one too many days spent behind a shop counter in a mall, I decided in my late twenties it was tertiary education or death – that’s what the human equivalent of a battery farm will do to you – and made the first step towards becoming a primary school teacher. I lasted a year at T-Coll, but fell for two English Lit papers I took as part of a B.Ed, so the following February I switched codes and crossed the Ilam Fields. Ten years later I finally put on the heels and squashy velvet hat and picked up my fifty thousand dollar piece of paper. Did I reinvent myself along the way? Hell yes! During my undergrad years I wore my black hair long, and met similarly cynical students for 50c Cona coffee in the James Hight Café, where we concocted ridiculous plans to bring down western civilisation… but never got them out the café door. Yet as I learned more about how the world worked, I got lighter both in spirit and looks. I gave up meat and lost weight, gradually had my hair cut shorter (until it was down to half an inch) and started wearing startlingly bright colours, much to the shock of still black-garbed friends. It was during a trip to the West Coast with a Coaster mate that I fell in love with Aotearoa. I’d always known it was stunning, but on the Coast I felt spiritually connected. Over the next few years I returned to Buller so often that in 2003 I packed up the first drafts of a thesis on outdoor dance parties 18 / / canta one

(yes, you can do a doctorate on raves) and rented a beach house in Granity. My DIY buzz-cut fitted right in there, but I took to wearing swannies and grew a mullet fringe just to make sure. When the “Granity gravity” began to get to me (in this town “just passing through” often morphed into years) I upgraded my van and created a custom-made set up that included a second battery (charged through the engine and topped up by a small solar panel) so that the van functioned as an office as well as a home. I had the freedom to live my research, and I travelled the North and South Islands, attending dance events and parking up at beaches, DOC camps, and in friends’ back yards, becoming spiritually and politically connected to Aotearoa whilst living as lightly on the land as I could manage. The end of the thesis coincided with a “restructuring” of the Arts departments that left many of us post-grads at risk of losing jobs, supervisors, office space, and funding, and if it wasn’t for the new positive outlook I’d carved out in outdoor dance zones, I doubt whether I would have gone the distance with what I had started referring to as “the faeces.” On graduation day I wore black – mainly because the robes were the perfect accessory to a hot velvet frock I rarely had an occasion to wear – and as I said “hi” to my Mum on the way into the auditorium, I felt immensely proud of my achievement. Post-doc, I swap babysitting for hair cuts, and wear an array of colours, the vast majority of which are hunted down in opshops. I look back over my years at uni and am proud to be able to recognise the various stages of evolution that have led me to becoming the “eco-concerned” woman I am today.

I still enjoy a coffee-fuelled rant about the evils of capitalism, but thanks to my vocation as a teacher and writer (yes – an Arts degree will get you a job), I have an outlet for how I envisage our future in Aotearoa. And, as part of my current role for the UC Sustainability Office, I’ll be trying to convince you guys to include a little green in your identity palette – starting with the next page, where I’ll tell you about eco-my-flat, the awesome competition where you get to reinvent yourselves and win prizes at the same time! !

SUSTAINABILITY EVENTS # Sustainability Outdoor Film Night Thur 25 Feb, 7.30-10.30 C-Block Lawn (C2 Lecture Theatre if wet), University of Canterbury. FREE outdoor film night featuring the movie HOME by Yann Arthus-bertrand. Live music and b.b.q’s available to use before-hand, B.Y.O BBQ food and utensils, drinks, nibbles and something to sit on (blankets, deck chairs etc). Community Garden Working Bee Every Friday 2:00-5:00 pm. All welcome! Come along and help out in the community garden, and take home your share of fresh produce harvested that day as your reward. See for more information and links.



Prizes include a trip for one of the winning flats to Kaikoura on the TranzScenic train, a stay at the YHA and tickets to Whale Watch, Kaikoura Kayaks, Seal Swim Kaikoura and Dolphin Encounter, with dinner at Hislops Wholefood Café and $500 off their power account from Community Energy Action. The other winning flat is sent by Intercity to stay at Waihi Bush Organic Farm near Geraldine, with lunch at Verde Café, and a go on Rangitata Rafts.

Sign up at : sustain.canterbury.


but since 2008, the UC eco-my-flat competition has been helping students lush up their digs in new and interesting ways. Whether competing for great prizes, or reading about it in Canta or local papers, eco-my-flat has prompted all sorts of people to think about their lifestyle choices and make changes (some temporary, but many permanent) towards reducing their environmental impact. Last year I was privileged to be asked to help coordinate eco-my-flat, and I have to say, my involvement seriously expanded my knowledge about sustainable living. At Orientation I tried to convince students to enrol in the competition, even promising all-guy flats that an eco-flat would be a serious chick magnet (I mean, home cooking, clean bathrooms and snuggling under blankets – what’s not to love?). When the competition started, I visited a diverse sample of student flats, a few of which were enhanced by the aroma of fresh baking. I handed out giveaways at the weekly workshops, and learned something new at each of the discussions where students shared their successes and struggles, and occasionally, their excess garden or foraging produce (which was lucky because I had little time to shop). We tackled the commonplace eco-solutions, along with the less commonplace – such as forgoing showers for the duration, or ensuring that your undies didn’t come from China by making your own.

When the month was up, I helped sort vast amounts of sponsored goods into prize packs. The prize-giving made the crazy weeks worth it as flats – some of whom had previously been ‘eco-virgins’ – proudly claimed their booty. The second UC eco-my-flat competition had been a success, but the general consensus was that maybe next time it could last a little longer. You’ll be pleased to know that eco-my-flat 2010 is bigger and better than ever and is running over all of Semester One. To help them get started, students entering the competition will be given plenty of free giveaways, donated by companies including Energy Mad, Bin Inn, the Supershed, King’s Seeds, Envirosax, Ecostore and Earth Angel, and Cyclops Yoghurt. So if you want to do something good for yourself – and the planet – then sign up today (you have until February 28), and make your flat into an eco pad (and hottie magnet) to be proud of. !

/ / 19


RIDING HIGH OFF THE SUCCESS OF THEIR 2009 ALBUM BRAND NEW EYES, which shot to $1 on the New Zealand charts and 1

has sold over four million copies worldwide, the “hottest band on the planet right now” will play at the Westpac Arena on March 5th as part of their first ever New Zealand tour.Fronted by the flame haired Hayley Williams, whose charisma and performance style have made her one of the most iconic female figures in music today, and accompanied by guitarists Josh Farro and Taylor York, drummer Zac Farro, and bassist Jeremy Davis, this Tennessee five-piece has been scooping awards from the likes of Kerrang, MTV, NME, and Alternative Press since their 2007 album Riot! Started going around the globe. Increidbly, they are all still only around 21 years old – just to make you feel like even more of an underachiever. The band was discovered in 2005 by indie label Fueled by Ramen. The label’s co-founder, John Janick, had heard some of the group’s demos, and following performances on the Taste of Chaos tour, Ramen signed them in April 2005. They emerged on the wider alternative rock scene just months later with their debut album, All We Know Is Falling. Although successful, it was their follow-up Riot! that set the band up as a group to watch. The album went platinum in the United States, United Kingdom, and Canada, and has achieved gold certification here in New Zealand. Their latest album, Brand New Eyes, has proved to be the band’s biggest success yet. Written in the wake of internal band troubles following the release of Riot! and its subsequent non-stop tour, its relentless, exuberant energy received rave reviews from critics and fans alike. Paramore has experienced equal success on the touring circuit, selling out crowds and pleasing fans the world over. Their August 12 2008 Chicago concert was released as a CD and DVD, The Final Riot!, which went gold in the US. It’s highly recommended that you too experience them live when they arrive in Christchurch on March 5th.

We’ve got a Paramore prize pack to give away to a lucky fan, consisting of a double pass to the band’s March 5th Christchurch show, along with their entire back catalogue. To win, all you have to do is tell us a story of your best concert or party experience. Send in your entry to by Sunday February 28th. We’ll notify the winner and announce their name in next week’s issue. And remember, we’ve got another double pass, along with Wild Foods tickets and HardCard tshirts up for grabs in the Orientation Competition. Just email pics of you and your mates having a good time at Orientation events – see page 13 of Orientation Magazine for more details.

20 / / canta one

christchurch nightlife

* Except the ones I couldn’t be arsed including An empirical review of Christchurch’s watering holes, with Ann Ebriate

AHH, FIRST YEAR... all you lads and lasses with your freshly laundered fake I.D.s, expendable income, and pre-”fresher five” physiques will no doubt be chomping at the bit to start frequently frequenting Christchurch’s numerous licensed beverage consumption spots. We’re talking bars, baby. Before you head off to just any old establishment to enjoy a few drinks responsibly, sink a few more, and then suddenly see your so-so halls neighbour morph into a gorgeous mirage through the miracle (or curse) of beer-tinted glasses, it’s essential to know the lay of the land of Christchurch bars to optimise enjoyment of the process, and therefore justify the next day’s ensuing hangover. 1

The Foundry

Probably the first bar you will encounter as a fresher, the extremely close proximity of The Foundry means that it’s not only within stumbling distance of the halls, but it also leaves less time for that handsome/beautiful young thing you’ve managed to con into “seeing your room” to reconsider matters on the way. Relatively cheap drinks, excellent entertainment - especially around Orientation Week - and its location in the UCSA make it a sure bet.

The Mad Cow

Sorry there; I just threw up in my mouth a little. The Mad Cow, the first of our town pubs/clubs is, simply put, scum. Filled with Lincoln students, crap music, and syphilis, this place is generally to be avoided. I’m just glad it wasn’t around back in the day, so there’s no chance my parents met there...

The Strip

The Strip is actually a long succession of bars/clubs, most of which are at least marginally better than The Mad Cow (not hard), play top twenty tunes, and are where most first years usually end up (and brawls begin). Handy note: unlike Wellington, Christchurch’s Coyotes is almost exclusively an Asian bar.

SOL Square

A range of classier bars, sporting live music and some damn good (though expensive) fish and chips.

The Dux De Lux

More on the chilled-out side, the Dux offers a tasty range of home-brewed beers (go for the Ginger Tom, or ask for a Windycat) and often has free gigs on showcasing the best in local musical talent - good when you grow tired of hearing Cascada on repeat...


The sounds are commercial, the lines are immense, and the bouncers are absolute tools – especially to guys – but the usually-packed Shooters is extremely popular with your average student looking for some tail.

Al’s Bar & The Bedford Also the site of epic gigs.

Goodbye Blue Monday

Home of indie kids, hipster poseurs, and arts lecturers. Also holds the best alternative gigs – all free. Check out the rest of Poplar Lanes while you’re at it.

Double Happy

DNB Central (along with The Rockpool)

Boogie Nights

Cougar central – they play ABBA, after all. Thems there are only just a start – Christchurch is just full of watering holes so get out there and knock the bastards off! !

/ / 21


Sebastian Boyle

We all know starting uni can be intimidating. But what’s it like for the people standing up in front of the class? Five Canterbury lecturers recall the experiences they had the very first time they gave a lecture.

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TIM BELL Computer Science -

First Lecture: 1984

It was quarter of a century ago, 1984. I think it was a Statistics class in which we taught a component of computing. I had done some tutoring as a grad student and really enjoyed that. I remember someone saying if you like tutoring, then you’ll love lecturing. It’s quite a different sort of role, but I really enjoyed it. The first lectures were in S Block. It hasn’t changed. I was extremely nervous. It’s a new situation, and in new situations, either you’re nervous or you don’t appreciate that it’s a new situation. One person who had done a lot of lecturing gave me a lot of tips. The one I remember most vividly is the time he said “Keep a Throaties in your pocket.” This was in the day of chalk, and just one puff of chalk dust could ruin your lecture, basically; you’d end up having to gasp for the rest of the lecture. Now you’re fine, unless you’re allergic to the solvents in whiteboard markers. The massive changes are things we could never have contemplated, like wireless being available all over the place all the time. I could never have imagined students paying $4.50 for a coffee. The one really big thing I learned when I started lecturing was that some of the subjects that I thought were uninteresting as a student actually were really interesting. Part of the challenge was to communicate that to the students. In the end, you realise that if the subject really wasn’t interesting, then why did someone write a textbook about it and not die of boredom while writing the textbook? Why do hundreds of people teach it all around the world and manage to survive that rather than just protesting about having to teach it? There’s a lot of interesting stuff there, and I think if you can get from that step where you’re just having to go through the motions so you can get the points through, to actually engaging with the material and realising it’s actually interesting, not only will it be more enjoyable, but you’ll probably get higher marks anyway. There’s always three talks you give: the one you intend and prepare to say, the one you actually deliver, and the one you give in your mind on the way home. In every lecture you can’t help but think if I hadn’t mentioned this, if I hadn’t wasted time on that, it would have been much better. But really, it’s a social experience rather than a delivery of information. What you’re really delivering is the motivation to engage with the material, about reading more, not so you just do the assignment, but that you really understand the material. One of the things I distinctly remember from one of my very early classes was I gave some very extended analogy for filing system. I was at College House at the time, and they have a habit of “rivering” people – if someone transgresses, they get biffed into the river. Some guy had just climbed out of the river, covered in mud, dripping wet. He looked at me and said “Oh, you’re my lecturer. That analogy you did this afternoon? That was way too long… but the rest is okay.” So that was a good bit of feedback, I thought.

CHRIS ASTALL Education – Science First Lecture: 2008

My first class was in February 2008, after joining the university in January. I’d been a primary teacher since ’94, specialising in science for the past eight years, four of which were in New Zealand at Medbury. Teaching runs in my family. Both my parents are teachers, as are uncles and granddads. I didn’t want to be one originally. I trained to be a marine biologist; got my doctorate studying the same shrimps that are out at the Brighton pier. Four years looking at those. But I felt I wasn’t happy with the research side of things, the funding, the job security. My wife had recently done a teacher training course, so I gave it a go, and I really loved it. My very first university class was a 200-level course, Science in the Classroom. I had about 35 students in it. It was about teaching teachers how to teach science to children. It wasn’t the teaching itself at uni that worried me, it was the “big people.” “Big people” of course come into class with a different set of worries and concerns to kids: what they’ve been up to at the weekend, wives, jobs, girlfriends, boyfriends. Some of them had been around the block, and carry a lot of experience, which can lead to a lot of debate. That can be really scary – you’re supposed to be an expert, and here you are having to hold your own in an adult conversation. But I find it really motivating. Walking to the classroom I was thinking, “You’re only human. They’re not going to eat you.” My only real concern was the unknown – not knowing how thirty older people would respond to me, given that I was supposed to be “all knowing.” “Am I a fraud? Can I really do this?” You start thinking whether they’re going to listen, what happens if everyone starts talking - it’s the sort of stuff all teachers go through. But once you’re in there, and you start talking, it’s absolutely fine. I was there to greet students as they came in, and as more arrived, expectation was growing. All of a sudden you’ve got a full room, looking at the clock, ticking down to 9. You just have to take that deep breath, introduce yourself, and… boom. Away you go. The class came out buzzing. I felt quite elated afterwards because I had quite a few students come up and thank me – “Hey, that was a really good session,” “I didn’t realise science was so interesting!” If people are coming up afterwards, wanting to stay behind, have a chat, and talk about the content, then it’s a good indicator you’re doing your job. You’re generating a really good class environment. The biggest thing I’ve found is that if students come prepared to learn, if they come motivated, engaged, and we can establish a good rapport and relationship – if I take the time to talk to you and find out what makes you tick – then you have a really good class. It works better than just standing there and preaching. I also had to remind myself that students are humans as well, and come with a whole set of issues as well. But to me, they’re just bigger kids. If I remember that, the rest of the lecture goes really quite easy.

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STEPHEN HICKSON Economics First Lecture: 1992

I gave my first lecture back in 1992. I was only part-time, as I was working at Stats NZ. I’d been doing a bit of tutoring here. They asked if I’d like to take some classes, and I said that’d be great. The first lecture was ECON101. I’m still there. It was in A1, back in the day when it had a blackboard. I remember biking through Hagley Park on the way there. I was quite nervous, which is a little unusual for me, because I’m not usually a nervous person. It was the first time I’d ever done this. I had pretty much committed to memory everything I would say. I went over things so many times that they solidified in my mind. And then it pretty much all came out as expected. The lecture theatres, thank goodness, were not as complicated as they are now. There weren’t as many buttons, and they were easy to work out. The lights had “on” and “off.” And the OHP; I could work that. I’d always enjoyed working with what I euphemistically call “young people” – it’s why I originally ran off to do a high school teaching diploma. I’ve always enjoyed presenting and teaching and just working with people who are keen to learn. For old folks like me, it’s easy to say, “young people aren’t like they used to be.” But in a lot of ways, kids coming out of school aren’t different than they used to be. A lot of the things that seem to make them different – iPods, cellphones – they’re just “bolt-on” things. In a way, the first year students this year are, as they always have been, just slightly older high school kids. And university presents a big, bewildering place, where you move from a school where lots of people know your name. At university, if you don’t turn up, nobody knows. I think that’s a big thing for kids no matter the generation: moving from the friendly high school environment to something else. One of the slightly odd things about university teaching is uni teachers have essentially learnt what they know about uni teaching from what they’ve seen. There’s no formal training, there’s no formal qualification. In a lot of ways I think the raw material for a teacher or lecturer is kind of within you. It’s not something easily learnt. It’s a little bit like playing basketball – you can work hard, but if you can’t shoot hoops, then it’s very difficult to be a basketball player. I learn all the time. I’m certainly different now then I was then. In some ways I’m the same – I’ve always been fairly well organised, punctual, and those are still important. But I think you just relax a little bit. You realise it’s not so scary for lecturers or students – students need not be intimidated by the large classes. You have to enjoy what you’re doing. You have to be passionate about what you teach. You want to be in front of a class and say “I think this is really interesting, I can’t understand why you don’t, because it is so interesting.” And then the students go, “Well, if he thinks it’s interesting, maybe it is.” We want to give students a really interesting and worthwhile experience. We want to prepare the students who are going on with Economics, but we also want to make sure the students who aren’t don’t go out saying “Thank goodness that’s over,” but rather “That was really good. That’s added to my education. I’ve learnt something useful. I can think about the world in a different way.”

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KON KUIPER Linguistics First Lecture: 1969

It was in either 1969 or 1970 – I think it was 1970. I had gone to Canada as a grad student, and to get there, I got a Teaching Assistantship. It basically paid your fees, and in return for that, you took classes. The first year I was teaching tutorials in a very large first year class in the English department at Simon Fraser University, Canada. It was built in 1965, and they set out to build the most modern, the most gorgeous looking campus in Canada. It’s still spectacular. I was being taught by Philippa Paulson. She’d gone back to university in her late 40s after having brought up a family, got a degree, and then was teaching first year English language in the English department. At the end of that, she said she didn’t know much on a certain topic, so said I could come along the next semester and give some lectures on it. I had been teaching at Riccarton High School before I went to graduate school, so I’d done classroom teaching, but the first year class she took was in a theatre which held 600 people. There were 200 or 300 students in the class. Going along to class, you’re just petrified. That, in a funny sort of way, doesn’t go away. There’s an element of stage fright that I think is very important. If you get too comfortable, you’re not actually tuned in. I’ve never felt with any class “Oh, well, this is just more of the same. I’ve done this tons of times.” I always feel like I need to breathe deeply and think “Yeah, well, it went okay last year, but there’s no guarantee this year.” The latest technology at the time was the overhead projector. And coloured pens. When I started here, my head of department asked if there was anything I wanted. I asked for the pens. He said “What are those? How much are they?” He didn’t hold with overheads, with all of that stuff. You just lectured off the lecture notes. I think teaching is often thought of as mundane. It’s anything but. You need to remain alive, and you need to remain “jumpy,” because it is a constant effort to try and communicate as best you can, and also to get communication back. It’s a two-way process, and you have to have a feel for that. As they say in sports psychology, visualising is very important. I bike to work and back, so I visualise how I’ll try and get into something. There’s always “nutty” material that’s difficult and you need to try and think of a metaphor that works better than how you’ve gone, or an analogy, or some way of framing things conceptually. Some of that you make up as you go along, but it really is important to do this visualisation like a high jumper and think, “right – this is how you approach the bar, and this is how you sail over. It’s a way of being prepared in a kind of imaginary way that I find very useful. You can think of a lot of things on a bicycle. It’s very good. I recommend everyone comes to work on a bicycle.









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your photos

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Administrative Costs $23.52 -


Refurbishment/Repairs & Maintenence $24.62 -

Total Levy Cost: $369,600

Facilities Management $31.73 -

Ham Sandwich Scale: 7.9 // Tui Jug-ometer: 3.5 // Bubble o Bill Toll: 16.7 Total Levy Cost: $476,250 You Get: All sorts of stuff. Facilities Management look after everything from parking to security to maintenance to heating to mail to cleaning to emergency management to room allocation and timetabling. Basically, they ensure you have a comfortable environment in which to learn and study. Make the Most Of It: … well, you could always sit in one of the heated buildings instead of spending money on that flat electricity bill…

Cultural/Sporting Initiatives $9.46 -

Total Levy Cost: $141,975

Student Space Building Fund

Not all the levy goes to student service expenditure. Approximately 44% goes into the Student Space Building Fund.

Campus Events & Activities $22.37 -

Total Levy Cost: $335,767.50

International Student Support $12.84 -

Total Levy Cost: $$192,750

Student Services


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Student Space Building Fund


Hardship Fund $4.80 Student Re Advocacy/ -

Ham Sandwich Scale: 1.2 // Tui Jug-ometer: 0.5 // Bubble o Bill Toll: 2.5 Total Levy Cost: $72,000 You Get: The opportunity to apply for a Hardship Grant. You can apply where your continued study is threatened by “desperate, unanticipated financial circumstances.” This includes stuff like unexpected medical costs, deaths in the family, emergency housing assistance, or where your uni notes have been thieved. It probably doesn’t cover having your EFTPOS declined at the Macca’s drive-through at 2am on a Saturday morning. Make the Most Of It: Fill out the form available on the UC website, & make an appointment with the Hardship Applications Coordinator.

Total Levy Cost: $4

The University subsidises the cost of services by 25%. The figures displa The levy is $533+GST ($600 GST inclusive). The cost per item we’ve disp



LAST YEAR THE UNIVERSITY COUNCIL APPROVED A $600 STUDENT SERVICES (NON-TUITION) LEVY, charged to all students enrolling for courses that start after 1 January 2010. The funds can only be spent on student services and space, and students have a say as to how they are allocated. We’ve summarised some of the services available, and how much of your hard-earned money (or, in the more likely case of a loan, your future hard-earned money) will be spent on each. To aid in appreciating these numbers, we’ve calculated them in terms of delicious ham and mustard sandwiches (RRP $4.00 from Brasilia), jugs of Tui (RRP $9.00 from The Foundry), and Bubble o Bills (RRP $1.90 from Unimart and ThreeSixty).

Health Centre $66.61 -

Ham Sandwich Scale: 16.7 // Tui Jug-ometer: 7.4 // Bubble o Bill Toll: 35.1 Total Levy Cost: $999,750 You Get: If you’re enrolled, cheap or free healthcare. The levy funds ensure students aren’t deterred from accessing medical care due to lack of money. Make the Most Of It: Enrol. It saves you a lot of money without any added expenditure. The form is available on their website, or from the Centre reception. With such a large chunk of your money going into this, you’ll want to make sure you use it.

Maori/Pacific Development


Disability $8.79 -

Ham Sandwich Scale: 2.2 // Tui Jug-ometer: 1 // Bubble o Bill Toll: 4.6 Total Levy Cost: $132,000 You Get: Help, if you’re a student with a disability. That can include stuff like note-taking, reading, library assistance, and special arrangements for exams. Make the Most Of It: If you’re disabled, register with them – details on the UC website. If you’re not… uh… maybe you could fracture your pelvis or something? Crack your sternum? I don’t know; there are lots of options.

Careers $19.19 -

Ham Sandwich Scale: 4.8 // Tui Jug-ometer: 2.1 // Bubble o Bill Toll: 10.1 Total Levy Cost: $288,000 You Get: Access to all sorts of career advice counselling, advice on course planning, CV and cover letter writing, interview preparation, and, hopefully, a job. Make the Most Of It: Register on UC CareerHub for career resources and info on job opportunities and upcoming events, and visit them for all that other good jobly stuff.

epresentation/ Learning Skills $26.95 / Advisory $30.71





Ham Sandwich Scale: 6.7 // Tui Jug-ometer: 3 // Bubble o Bill Toll: 14.2 Total Levy Cost: $404,503.50 You Get: Free individual consultations on assignments and writing, critical thinking, or study; workshops, seminars, lectures, and online resources on all sorts of writing and study skills. Make the Most Of It: Visit them. Use them. You’re guaranteed to experience improvement in at least one area of study, even if you’re getting nothing but A+ grades. It’s probably the most valuable part of the levy you haven’t yet exploited.

ayed here take this into account, and reflect the amount budgeted from the levy itself. played here is apportioned from the $533 figure.


You might not need to pay the full $600 under certain circumstances. For more info on rebates, and how to apply for one, see the UC Enrolment website. Applications must be received before 30 October 2010.

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life guide

With Dr. Handsome B. Wonderful, Esq.

Join us $99 Gym membership* Only for students Only for February *

Terms and conditions apply

UC RecCentre – your student gym

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Adidas’ new Star Wars-inspired range. It not only comes in both light side and dark, but, depending on how you wear it, also gives you the choice to look either like a dry-cool hipster or an all-purpose power-nerd. Either way, how can you pass up shoes emblazoned with Chewbacca? Only Communists hate Chewie.

The Bubble O’ Bill. Experiencing somewhat of a resurgence thanks to Facebook, the humble ‘Bill is a glorious conglomeration of childhood nostalgia and a surprisingly tasty ice cream treat. Incidentally, if anyone ever asks you if they can “’Bubble O’ Bill’ you,” do not say yes. Trust me on that one.



First years. Yeah, yeah, we’re supposed to be welcoming, but they don’t know anything, their soft and supple skin makes us look like fucking freeze-dried zombies, and they can’t hold their liquor yet are ready to scream triumph once they down a single standard of icebreaker. The only thing worse are bitter second years and above.

Leaving your right shoelace untied. It symbolises disconnection, non-conformity, and also a general inability to succeed at life’s simple tasks. What could be more hipster?

PLACES TO GO The Giant’s House Chloe Winstanley

Well, here we are: the beginning of a new academic year . For all us students, it brings with it new prospects of great and many wonderful things. For the ladies, there are fresh opportunities to excel academically and broaden intellectual horizons. For the gents, there are fresh nubile creatures to admire from afar. Most excitingly of all, the new year brings awesome new writers contributing their infallible talents to Canta So, truly exciting things all around! To welcome y’all back to a new school year, I’ve put together an aesthetic treat. I recently embarked on an interesting excursion involving two words that will completely blow your mind. Giant’s. House. Anything named the “Giant’s House” has to be fairly high on the awesomeness scale. And believe me, it is. This Akaroa landmark is the brainchild of Wellington-born artist Josie Martin, and represents many years of work bringing a dream to reality. The House – which, despite the presence of an actual house, is more accurately a garden – is a beautiful maze of gigantic sculptures and staircases which serve as canvases for Martin’s painstakingly-created mosaics. It’s earned the status of “Garden of National Significance” from the New Zealand Gardens Trust, and has appeared in NZ Gardener and Next, among other New Zealand magazines. So to add another new dimension to your new uni year, follow my lead in being awesome and check out the proverbial fabulousness the Giant’s House has to offer. You might just unearth your inner artisan.

Canta Mag vol01, 2010  

Canterbury University Students' Association, Student Magazine, volume 01

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