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Convergence Senior Staff Editor-in-Chief Christopher Taylor News Editor Zach Mahon World Editor Elliot Kaufman Arts Editor Joshua Caminiti Secretary Sachin Pasricha Blazer Alex Green

Entertainment Editor David Cash Sports Editors Mitchell Bannon Ryan Albaum Layout Editors Daniel Banh Derek Lam Photography Editor Chris Tully Facaulty Advisor Marshall Webb

What’s Inside: Dr. Power Interview P. 2 Bruce Chi Interview P.3 Spurs vs Thunder Preview P. 8 The Dictator: Review P. 9 ...and lots more...



May 2012 -



An Interview with Dr Power


UCC’s efforts to promote “positive space” for

the class, gives up a spot on a varsity basketball

LGBT students (and faculty)?

team because he wants to pursue drama, that is

A few weeks ago, Convergence sat down with

P: We have had boys come to dances together

a very good sign. (There are some boys schools

Dr. Power to ask him a few questions about the

for years now. In 2012 I don’t think that should

where, let me put this delicately, such a decision

school year and about school life. Here is what

be an issue for us.

would have been frowned upon!) If anything,

he had to say.

C: Before coming to Canada to act as principal

I sometimes worry that the spring athletics are

Senior Staff Reporter

of UCC, you spent your career working with

undermined by the IB exam schedule. Don’t get

Convergence: In one word, please remark upon

American schools. As a foreigner, what was the

me wrong. The IB is a wonderful program, but

the 2011-2012 academic year.

greatest challenge (or joy) in the northbound

if you ever walk around the playing fields on a

Dr. Power: Exhilarating!


May afternoon, you can see the impact it has on

C: How has UCC progressed since the com-

P: I don’t know if this is a distinctively Canadian

our teams.

mencement of your role as principal and how

value or a particular charm of UCC, but I have

C: Canada has very recently seen an influx of

do you see it progressing in the future?

learned a lot about the importance of “process”

foreign investors and influences into its econo-

P: I think every school changes over time. UCC’s

when it comes to just about everything. In my

my. Has this trend translated into the academic

Board of Governors made a significant commit-

8 years here, I’m not sure I have ever heard any-

world? That is to say, has the balance of local

ment to make the school more accessible and

one ever say, ‘Hey, let’s go with our gut on this

vs. foreign teachers shifted? Or alternatively,

to improve the boarding program; for example,


has UCC had difficulty with losing high quality

this year we have 94 boys on financial aid. Next

C: Something that has received quite a bit of

teachers overseas?

year we will have close to 130. We also hope to

focus in the past few years is UCC’s bursary pro-

P: UCC is fortunate to have been able to attract

have 20% of all of our students on FA within 4

gram. Would you please comment on the cur-

great teachers. I know that sometimes teachers

years because we want to be an elite but not an

rent status of the program?

leave the classroom to try their hand at admin-

elitist school.

P: I was thrilled when the Board decided to

istration, but we have been blessed with an ex-

C: The Board has also put a lot of energy into

make this a key strategy for UCC. I think that

traordinarily dedicated group of professionals

improving recruiting, mentoring, and program-

if you look around at the great schools of the

who have made the classroom their vocation.

ming for boarding students. Those changes and

world, the one thing they all have in common is

Increasingly, we have hired faculty who have

the modified divisional structure are some of

a strong commitment to accessibility. Whether

had significant international experience. At the

the first changes that come to mind.

it’s Harvard or Eton or Choate or Cambridge,

same time, we haven’t lost many to schools

P: As for the future, our challenge is to be a

all of these schools are enriched by the tremen-

overseas, in part because I think UCC is seen as a

school that has big school opportunities with

dous diversity that their financial aid program

good place to work, largely because of the qual-

a small school feel. I think the former is a lot

provides. At the same time, it is worth noting

ity of our students.

easier to achieve than the latter.

that this is an old as well as new initiative. Our

C: An anonymous foundation year student was

C: UCC already has fantastic facilities, especially

school’s founder, Sir John Colborne, had the

quoted saying to a friend from RSGC: “the food

with the completion of the arena. What is the

wisdom to intentionally set tuitions as low as

sucks at UCC”. How would you respond to this

next step?

possible, because he wanted his school to be

young man’s comment?

P: The Upper School building was put up in the

available to as many talented boys as possible.

P: I have worked at 7 schools, and at every one,

early 60’s. After constructing the Creativity Cen-

C: In my opinion, what sets UCC apart is its

students have complained about food. I think

tre and improving athletic facilities, the priority

ability to recognize and promote activity in all

it’s a developmental hurdle and one that is not

now is on renewing the academic facility.

areas of the academic and athletic spectrum.

reflected in the ‘usage’ of our food service facili-

The unique balance of skill sets within our stu-

ties at either the Prep or Upper School. My prob-

Dr. Power later commented that academic facilities

dent body is essential to maintaining diversity.

lem is I am a bit too fond of the Upper Dining

had to be built for up to 50 years of use and would

Have you ever felt that we tip this balance too

Hall. I should probably spend less time there

have to be adaptable to the needs of future students.

far either way with recognition of academic and

and more on the treadmill.

athletic achievements? How can we do better in

C: Canada’s national soccer association is put-

C: Aaron Boehlert’s article in the Blue and White

ensuring that UCC continues to be composed

ting together a 40 year plan in which competi-

stirred up a bit of controversy regarding admin-


tion is completely phased out of soccer in the

istration’s view on UCC’s homosexual commu-

P: I agree with your premise; we are blessed with

younger years (up to 14). Tournaments will

nity. Later in the year, there was criticism over

an incredible student body. We have a wonder-

soon be referred to as festivals. Do you hope that

Batt Ball’s “hetero-centricity” and compulsory

ful diversity of talents in academics, arts, athlet-

sports at UCC follow suit?

policy of date bringing (as two UCC boys go-

ics, and in service. While we aren’t perfect by

P: No. I am in favor of competition.

ing together seemed to be more drama than

any means, I do like our sense of balance. When

C: Thank you.

the night could afford). What is your stance on

the Athletic Steward, arguably the best athlete in



May 2012 -



An Interview with Bruce Chi

CHRISTOPHER TAYLOR Editor-In-Chief One week ago, Convergence sat down with incoming Head Steward Bruce Chi and talked with him about the upcoming year. Convergence: When you first heard your name announced in assembly as UCC’s next head steward, what went through your mind? Bruce: Once I realized that I had become Head Steward, I felt happy and even euphoric. But at the same time, I also felt the pressure as I understand the demanding side of the role and I really want to make some changes in the school to fulfill my promises. C: What are your goals as head steward for the upcoming year? B: I have different goals for the many different aspects of the school. Here, I will only mention some. Firstly, I want to increase school spirit. We’ve already worked on that with the presentation of the Board of Stewards’ Mayday Video, which everyone seemed to enjoy. I also want to build on the Grade Rep system that Ryan reformed. One way to address this problem would be to set up expectations for the grade reps and encourage them to work more closely with the stewards. The end goal should be to prepare

Bruce Chi

Grade Reps for stewardship, and so for example we could have the Creativity Grade Reps work

ported him?

day, however, the Board of Stewards does not

with Harry to run one or two assemblies to pre-

B: Let me be honest, I think the students who

have the power to change the food. Only the

pare them for their perhaps future roles.

supported Mr. Coren’s views were wrong. How-

administration can.

C: Have you discussed these goals with your fel-

ever, I believe UCC is a place where everyone

C: Many students only know the academic side

low incoming Stewards? Have you received sup-

can voice their opinion and I wouldn’t tell them

of Bruce Chi and are very curious about who

port for your policies? Any opposition?

that because their opinion is wrong, they don’t

the upcoming Head Steward really is. What mu-

B: I am going to present these goals to the Board

have a right to say it.

sic do you listen to? What movies do you like?

of Stewards at our next meeting. So far, howev-

C: This year, Convergence’s own Kaleem Hawa

Who’s your favorite actor/actress?

er, I have met both opposition and support. The

published several articles about UCC’s food situ-

B: My favorite movie is the May Day Golden

key for me to be a good Head Steward, though, is

ation that resulted in the bringing in of paninis

Cookie Movie. I think it deserves the Academy

to listen to the Portfolio stewards and the heads

to the Student Center cafeteria. However, the

Award at the Oscars. If it went before the Oscars

of houses. I know that one or two people cannot

Upper and Lower Dining Halls remained for the

Award Ceremony, Harry would definitely win

make many changes, but with all 17 stewards, I

most part unchanged. Are you satisfied with the

the funniest actor (if there is one) and the best

am confident that we can get something done

current situation or would you like to see chang-

costume award (janitor outfit). And Matt Hen-

for next year.

es be made to the UDH and LDH?

derson would absolutely capture the best edit-

C: Several months ago, Mr. Michael Coren was

B: The situation in the LD in definitely not fine.

ing award. Throughout the making of the film,

involved in an incident with UCC students in

Kaleem had a good point that the food was not

I had a lot of fun being a part of the crew. I es-

which he insulted many members of the col-

healthy. While we can’t change it this year, we

pecially love the part where Harry and I take off

lege. Most students were passionately opposed

will try to improve the food for next year. To do

our glasses each time as we speak to Pelle. With

to Mr. Coren’s views but a few students actively

this, the Board of Stewards will voice the opin-

regard to music, I listen to pop, Hip-Hop, jazz,

supported him on his website’s blog. What are

ions from the student body and suggest health-

classical, and all different types of music. I don’t

your views towards these few students who sup-

ier food to the administration. At the end of the

play video games.



May 2012 -



The EU: A Continent in Distress


ing financial policy. Well-known, establishment

austerity petition their governments to declare

Senior Staff Reporter

politicians such as Nicolas Sarkozy and George

bankruptcy, leave the European Union and cre-

The European Union is on the verge of a ma-

Papandreou have been ousted. Incumbents that

ate their own currency, or do anything to avoid

jor crisis. More than one, actually. The EU’s

support austerity are being voted out, or are

austerity. However, this is economically suicidal.

economic crisis, immigration crisis, and its vari-

losing their grip on power. In the recent Greek

As shown by Greece, interest rates go through

ous leadership crises are scaring financial mar-

election, anti-austerity parties gained significant

the roof when investors believe there is substan-

kets and enraging citizens. However, there is a

parliamentary power. In a run-off, pro-austerity

tial risk in their investment, and it is unlikely that

larger, more fundamental crisis that is shaking

parties may not even have the power to form a co-

investors would increase lending if increased

the EU to its core. This issue is the disconnect

alition government. Citizens in financially trou-

spending measures were adopted in the EU.

between the people in the EU and their leaders.

bled countries are beginning to vote for parties

Additionally, leaving the Euro or destabiliz-

Europe’s political and financial leaders - its elites,

that are against austerity, and this is a problem.

ing it causes the benefits of the system to dis-

are pushing an agenda that is “old European.”

Voting against math will accomplish nothing.

appear. There are many benefits of the euro

This agenda is based on the belief system that

This backlash against austerity is occurring be-

and the EU, such as the fact that it removes

the EU was established upon: economic growth,

cause European governments have pampered

the issue of dealing with many different cur-

open borders, and favoring European pride over

their citizens. An example of this is the 35-

rencies, which causes increased growth in

national pride. As shown by the resurgence of ex-

hour public-sector workweek in France, which

the Eurozone. Free trade throughout the EU

treme parties on both sides of the political spec-

destroys productivity, and increases costs. This

has also increased growth. The EU in gen-

trum in France and Greece, citizens of the EU are

cradle-to- grave nanny state is a large reason

eral is a sound financial concept, however, as

gradually shifting away from the agenda that the

why this disconnect exists. To the public, the

shown earlier, it is incomplete, and flawed.

elites are proposing. An important question to

EU represents everything they blame for the

In conclusion, a major shift away from the

consider is why is this shift away from the main-

financial situation that they are in. Powerful

system of the elites in the EU has started. In-

stream occurring, and what effect will it have?

pro-austerity countries such as Germany are

cumbents are being defeated, and radicals are

The shift away from the EU is occurring be-

seen as enemies, and substantial efforts have

emerging from obscurity to take power. These

cause the world is changing, and Europe sim-

been launched against them. The shift away

changes are occurring because of the failure

ply has to adapt. For the last few decades there

from the EU is occurring in part because of the

of the EU to exert influence over its member

has been an overabundance of cheap credit in

reluctance of citizens to give up benefits they

nations, because of disagreement over finan-

the global market, and the world economy

feel entitled to in order to appease foreign enti-

cial policy, and the blame game being played

was doing great. Now many European gov-

ties that they don’t feel a responsibility towards.

by voters. This shift away from the EU is im-

ernments are finding it difficult to sell bonds,

Will this shift away from the EU and Euro-

portant for the sake of pursuing long-term

and interest rates are rising. Amazing global

peanism have a positive effect? Many citizens

reforms, but it will be ultimately destructive

market conditions simply masked the severe

and rioters in Greece and other nations facing

to the well being of the EU and the world.

structural problems that the EU was facing. The EU, in itself, is a flawed union. It is a fiscal union, which has limited power, and cannot supersede the sovereignty of its member nations. Without the power to intervene in a country’s finances, or to pass binding legislation, the leadership of the EU cannot control the finances of individual nations. The fiscal irresponsibility of these individual nations is now threatening to bring down the Euro, and the economies of the other European countries with it. In spite of this, European elites are intent on maintaining the European Union. Unfortunately for them, public opinion in Germany, Greece, and many other countries is shifting. The shift away from the EU is occurring in part because of citizens recognizing the failure of the EU to control its member nations. The shift away from the EU, and the rift between the citizens of the EU and the elites, is also occurring because of the differing ideas regard-

Eurozone leaders Angela Merkel and Francois Hollande at the latest Brussels Summit (via Lionel Bonaventure/AFP/Getty Images)



May 2012 -



Russia: What Come Next ing many challenges, most of them coming from the West. His immediate concerns will be directed at resisting the perceived Western influence in the Middle East. It is widely believed that he will take a harder stance towards the West on Syria and Iran, compared to that of Medvedev. The strong trade with, and Russian ports in, Syria will ensure that Russia will stand firmly behind the Assad regime, and deny opportunities for the West to intervene there. On the issue of Iran, Putin is most likely going to maintain his stance that, while Iranian nuclear weapons are unacceptable, Iran is not developing them currently. Furthermore, to protect Iran and to reaffirm Russian dominance, Putin will likely continue opposing new sanctions on Tehran, a policy that was initiated under Medvedev last year. This refusal to support new sanctions combined with

Vladimir Putin inaugurated to his third term as Russia’s President (via Reuters) JEAN DOUBOVSKY Senior Staff Reporter

the warm trade relationship between Iran and Russia means that the efforts of the interna-

him are not going away any time soon – in

tional community to completely isolate Iran

fact, they only seem to be gaining momen-

economically will most likely not bear fruit.

tum. With the most recent protests attracting

Another essential part of Putin’s foreign

The day democracy was lost. This name

anywhere between 8,000 and 20,000 people,

policy will be the proposed American missile

may very well be one that will accompany

Putin faces unprecedented internal pressure

shield in Eastern Europe, which is meant to

the day May 7, 2012 for Russians across the

over his authoritarian rule. The situation

defend against Iran and North Korea. With

globe. On this day, a lavish and grandiose

isn’t helped by Putin’s increasingly thuggish

most Russian officials believing the shield is

ceremony occurred at the Kremlin in Mos-

behavior in arresting prominent opposition

meant to neutralize Russian nuclear power, a

cow. Vladimir Putin, having already served

activists. All of this only causes further anger

new conflict is developing – one that threat-

twice from 2000 to 2008, was inaugurated

at him and encourages more people to come

ens relations between the US and Russia.

as President of the Russian Federation for a

out at rallies. Russia has, however, also seen

With Russian proposals for joint US-Russian

third time. This specific occasion was watched

many pro-Putin protests – some of which at-

control of the shield having been rejected,

closely for two main reasons. The first and the

tracted as many as 100,000 people. This just

tensions are increasing between the two pow-

obvious one is the fact that Russia is consid-

goes to show that in spite of the turning tide,

ers. Further escalating the situation, the Chief

ered to be a major world power. The second

Putin still remains popular amongst Russians.

of the General Staff of Russia has stated that

one is because of the Russian Constitution’s

Another point of contention in Russia is

Moscow would consider preemptively strik-

explicit ban on any person serving as presi-

the insurgency in the Caucasus, where vari-

ing the defense facilities, if it considered them

dent for more than two terms. Putin has now

ous separatist Islamist groups have waged

a threat. All of these issues clearly demon-

done just that. His obvious disregard for the

war on the Kremlin ever since the breakup

strate the increasingly anti-Western stance

Constitution’s provision is only furthered by

of the Soviet Union. With the bombing of

that Putin is taking, something that would

the fact that his puppet Dmitry Medvedev

the Domodedovo Airport taking the lives

have huge effects on international relations.

extended the president’s term to six years.

of 39 people, Putin has become more active

Overall, Putin’s new term as president will be

The intention of this article, however, is not

in trying to end the conflict. The situation

more challenging than his previous ones. Much

to criticize Putin (something that has been

is exacerbated by the assassinations of well-

has changed since his rise to power in 2000,

done repeatedly, both by the West and the

educated, prominent, and popular politicians

with many Russians disillusioned with him

East). The purpose of this article is to try to, as

in the region, and by the continued refusal

over his unkept promises and rigged elections.

objectively as possible, outline what Vladimir

of the Islamist groups to negotiate. Overall,

With the issues previously outlined angering

Putin’s new term as president could bring to

the way that Putin confronts these issues will

many Russians, a serious challenge to Putin’s

both Russia, and the international community.

have a huge impact on his popularity, as well

dominance may arise. It remains to be seen how

In terms of domestic policy, Putin faces

as what develops in Russian regional politics.

Putin will act on these issues, but, whatever he

many challenges. The recent protests against

In terms of foreign policy, Putin is also fac-

does, it is sure to cause a lot of controversy.



May 2012 -



A Different View on the Monarchy

MATTHEW COOPER Senior Staff Reporter This year marks the Queen’s 60th year as sovereign of Great Britain and the Constitutional Monarch in Canada; the Diamond Jubilee. Some find this an occasion for celebration. I, however, do not share the same sentiments towards the monarchy. I believe that in order for Canada to become a true democracy that affirms the values and rights of its citizens as outlined in our Charter, we must cut all ties to the Royal family and become a Republic. According to a recent poll published in Maclean’s magazine, 65% of Canadians believe that Canada should become an independent country after the Queen dies. Evidently, people are beginning to grow weary of being a constitutional monarchy. Being Canada’s head of state, the Queen is required to represent our country, but she is not in a position to adequately discharge

Queen Elizabeth II

her responsibilities. She is already the mon-

The Queen represents a sense of hierarchy

tem. No monarch, no matter how engaged

arch of Great Britain, a foreign nation, and

that is above all of the people and the laws

they are in the political affairs of another

cannot possibly serve as a responsible head

of this nation, and therefore violates our

country, can ever co-exist with genuine

of state for both them and us. As a result,

Charter. However, an elected representative

equality, democracy, and liberty. The Queen

perhaps due to lack of time to attend to her

is just a citizen of the country, and the same

represents a sense of hierarchy that is above

responsibilities, she appoints a Governor

laws govern him or her as other citizens.

the average person. Is this equality? Cana-

General to represent Canada on her behalf.

It would be foolish to claim the monarchy’s

da can never elect a head of state, the rep-

To be fair, the Royal Family does make an

historical legacy in Canada has not been

resentative of our nation, with a monarch

effort to pop in and visit once every few

profound. However, the reform of our politi-

in place. Is this democracy? Without these

years, if only to ensure the continued steady

cal system is necessary for the advancement

rights, we can never truly be free and be

flow of the 50 million dollars they receive

and betterment of the citizens of this nation.

our own, independent, democratic nation.

annually from the citizens of Canada.

Some of the most historically significant

So, what are we to do without the Queen?

The principal concern with the Queen is

events in human history have been the over-

Once all political ties to the monarch are

that she is not democratically elected by

throws of unjust monarchs like, for instance,

cut, I am in favour of establishing a new po-

the citizens of Canada, and consequently,

in France with their 1789 revolution. These

litical system. This system will have a head

does not reflect the views of the major-

revolts were not limited to France, however,

of state, a President, elected by the people

ity of the people in this nation. The head

as various other countries have undergone a

of Canada. We should retain the same par-

of state should be a person that Canadians

similar process to achieve liberty, democracy,

liamentary system, but various representa-

choose, rally behind, and feel a connec-

and equality. There must be something amiss

tives from different parties would run for

tion to, not a foreign monarch who has

with having a king or queen as our head of

the position of President. We will no longer

inherited her position only through birth.

state if people are willing to go to war and

have to pay for a foreign monarch who does

The Queen does not need to possess any

sacrifice their lives to overthrow monarchies.

nothing, and we will gain true sovereignty.

of the skills, attributes or qualifications

The situation in Canada is not directly

To appease the portion of our popula-

that we expect from our elected represen-

comparable to the conditions of the nations

tion who are monarchists, Canada can re-

tatives; she simply inherits her position by

previously described. The Queen’s role in

tain cordial and diplomatic relations with

birthright, the very opposite of democracy.

our country is minimal, but the people of

the Queen. It will only be a matter of time,

In my view, the monarchy infringes upon

Canada must come to the conclusion that

however, before they begin to question why

the rights of Canadian citizens. According

we can never hope to achieve a truly demo-

they idolize the Queen, and realize that

to the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, ev-

cratic system while the British monarchy

she serves no real purpose in Canada and

ery individual is guaranteed equality under

continues to be involved in our political sys-

that this nation is better off without her.

the law. This is not so with the monarchy.


SPORTS UCC Track and Field: The Year in Review

May 2012 -



JARED FREEDMAN Senior Staff Reporter This year’s Track and Field team got off to a great start. As recent as a few years ago, the track team was practically non-existent, and there wasn’t a developed program. This year, the track team boasted a wide variety of students across different ages in the school, and had a great turnout. The track season got off to a start beginning with our meet at St Mikes. The meet was a first for many runners, and most had not yet gotten to practice many times. Everyone worked really hard, and it was a great learning experience for the new guys. The next track meet took place at St. Marcellinus. The team had many impressive finishes, including MarcAndre Alexandre placing first in the 100m. However, the wind at this meet slowed down times significantly, and it was difficult to get good times. This meet was also the birthplace of the infamous Jake Roseman joke. After St. Marcellinus, the team competed at Birchmount, for a relays meet. This meet proved to be our most successful, with Marc-Andre Alexandre recording a 400m split of around 50 seconds, and Tyler Farrell breaking a meet record in long-distance hurdles. The meet was the first time new members to the team were able to watch the steeplechase event. The event involves jumping off very large hurdles, and over a pit of water, which causes many wipeouts, as runners get tired. Birchmount was very successful for the team, and was very fun. Finally, after over a month of gruelling training, CISAA arrived. Performance at CISAA this year was significantly better than last year. UCC broke many CISAA records, many thanks to the amazing performance of Marc-Andre, and the 4x100 team of Marc-Andre, Seamus Power, Liam Power, and Alex Malone. UCC this year will be sending a significant number of runners to Metros, which is a remarkable feat, considering the difficult competition that St. Mikes, De La Salle, and other schools posed at CISAA. All things considered, CISAA this year was the most successful in the track team’s history. The track team’s coaches were incredible this year. Coaches Roytberg, Heffernan, Tong, Suteir, Aust, and Evans provided great support, and lots of feedback. Practices in the mornings were intense, fun, and the team certainly improved over the season. Next year, with some core members leaving, the track team would really like some new people to come out. If you’re look-

(From top to bottom) Team photo, athletes during practice, Alex Malone

ing for a chance to get fit, get faster for other sports, and have fun, I’d encourage you to come sign-up next year.


SPORTS Spurs vs Thunder: Two Powerhouses Meet

May 2012 -



man James Harden that year, and took a huge leap, winning 50 games and making the playoffs. The next year they won their division and made it to the Conference Finals. That brings us to the present. Never attracting any media attention, or making rash decisions, the Thunder are led by three-time NBA scoring champion Kevin Durant, along with all-star Russell Westbrook, NBA block leader and Defensive Player of the Year runner-up Serge Ibaka and NBA Sixth Man of the Year James Harden. What is really scaring the other teams, though, is that all of these players are under the age of 24. To see these two teams meet now in the Conference Finals is a triumph for those who support building an organization the right way. Alternately, the teams could not be more different on

Thunder Forward Kevin Durant defends Spurs Guard Tony Parker (via Richard Rowe/US Presswire)

the court. The older Spurs play slow, controlling the pace of the game and running a methodically


erations and then Head Coach in 1996. One of

efficient half court offence. The young Thunder

International Editor

his first moves was to draft the 6”11 Power For-

team play fast, pushing the ball in transition, of-

The NBA playoffs are heating up. The first

ward Tim Duncan, creating the ‘Twin Towers’

ten finishing with rim-rattling dunks. They pre-

round certainly provided excitement, but it was

offence with Duncan and the Admiral, 7-foot

fer isolation plays to the Spur’s set plays, show-

round 2 that really separated the contenders

center David Robinson. This duo was domi-

ing off their star power. The meeting of these

from the pretenders. In the Western Conference,

nant, winning two championships together.

two powerhouses is nothing less than a matchup

Blake Griffin and the Los Angeles Clippers and

After the second, Robinson retired, and Popo-

between the old and the new NBA. Is there still

their ‘lob city’ offence was exposed to be noth-

vich and new general manager R.C Buford set

a place in professional basketball for the finesse

ing more than a gimmick. Kobe Bryant’s Lakers

about rebuilding their team. They set up their Big

of Tim Duncan and their deep roster of ser-

fell apart at the seams, with their age catching

3 that still stands today; Duncan along with 57th

viceable role players, or is the raw athleticism

up to them. Two under-the-radar powerhouses

pick (out of 60) Argentinian sixth-man Manu

of the Thunder’s superstars the way forward?

- The Oklahoma City Thunder and the San An-

Ginobili and Tony Parker, a point guard out of

This series may end up coming down to who

tonio Spurs, are now the only teams left standing

France. Not afraid to be unorthodox, the Spurs

can perform better in the clutch, Durant or Dun-

These two teams are often hailed as the mod-

won two more championships, and 16 years af-

can? Or perhaps the matchup between shoot-first

els, the prototypes for sports franchises every-

ter Coach Pop was hired, he is the longest-ten-

point guards Westbrook and Parker will end up

where. They avoid big splashes in free agency,

ured active coach in any of the big four sports.

deciding the outcome. Furthermore, which of the

they are never caught seeking media attention,

Oklahoma City is the 3rd smallest market in

league’s two best reserves, Ginobili and Harden,

they just excel. They built their teams through

the NBA, but with one of the most supportive fan

will prove their worth? Ultimately, one of these

steady drafting, never ignoring character and

bases in the league, their future is looking bright.

two teams will win and move on to the NBA Finals.

passion for pure skill or production. In NBA

Originally the Seattle Supersonics, their story starts

Whoever triumphs, both teams should be cel-

circles everyone wants to be them, but yet the

in 2007 when they traded away their franchise

ebrated as what the league should be; not having

average fan knows almost very little about them.

player, Ray Allen, and used their second-overall

star players all organize a move to big markets

Quiet San Antonio, Texas is the 4th smallest

draft pick on Kevin Durant, the young talent out

like Miami, abandoning the lower-profile teams

television market in the NBA, but that certainly

of Texas. The next year the team relocated to

that drafted them, but rather creating an orga-

has not stopped them. They have recorded 13

Oklahoma City and drafted explosive point guard

nization and building a team from the bottom

consecutive seasons of 50-plus win seasons, an

Russell Westbrook along with the imposing Serge

up. In Oklahoma and San Antonio the players

NBA record, also winning 4 championships in

Ibaka from the Congo. The Thunder remained

stayed, and were rewarded for it. The NBA needs

this period. It all started out with the hiring of one

unsuccessful, winning only 23 games out of 82.

this if it wants to avoid becoming a league with

man, Greg Popovich. After working as the head

The future, however, was looking bright. The

just four or five relevant teams. In what will un-

coach of Air Force Academy of all places, ‘Coach

rapidly developing Kevin Durant was not dis-

doubtedly be a fascinating matchup for the fans,

Pop’ got a job as an assistant with the Spurs, and

suaded and he promised a playoff birth for the

the implications of this series go much deeper.

worked his way up to Director of Basketball Op-

following season. The Thunder drafted sixth-


May 2012 -

ENTERTAINMENT The Dictator: One Man’s Quest to Destroy Democracy




these dictators who think they own the

edy when an audience simply can’t

Convergence Secretary Many of us may have seen the new

world. This movie uses racism to cause

stop laughing. We all know the feel-

bursts of laughter from the audience.

ing. Yet, with The Dictator, all the big

release starring Sacha Baron Cohen,The

It should be no surprise that on the

laughter moments seemed to be lacking

Dictator. The movie tells the story of

Friday of the long weekend (last week)

a sense of surprise. This was because

a dictator who risks his life to ensure

there were over 30 UCC boys watching

every moment that was even slightly

that his country remains a dictator-

the 4:00 show of The Dictator. It seems

funny was shown in the trailer of the

ship and never becomes a democracy in

that the UCC audience has particular-

movie, those big laughter ones in par-

which people have rights. This dictator

ly jumped on board with this movie

ticular. These moments still got a laugh

loves oppressing people and this char-

because of its use of racism. Addition-

out of the audience but they simply

acter plays on the typical stereotypes

ally, the racist jokes tossed around the

lacked the element of surprise and

of Arab dictators in the Middle East.

halls about stereotyping people (of all

therefore the movie as a whole was not

Numerous people, some critics in-

kinds) tend to be the ones that came

as funny as expected; it didn’t live up

cluded, believe that this movie lacks

out in the movie. This is perhaps the

to the expectations set by the trailer.

humour. They argue that racism is not

reason that the movie was so well re-

In conclusion, racism is funny, de-

to be taken as a joke. Well, Sacha Bar-

ceived by the UCC audience. While it

spite those who lie by saying they don’t

on Cohen proved them wrong. In this

may seem disrespectful and an over-

find stereotyping hilarious. On anoth-

comedy, he uses his character, General

generalization to laugh at these jokes

er note, if you are going to watch The

Aladeen (the dictator), to comment on

which poke fun at different races, we

Dictator, don’t watch the trailer first

the flaws with everyone in society in

all do it to some extent. We all find

as it sucks the life out of the funniest

a humorous fashion. Much of his suc-

these stereotypes humorous at times

moments of the movie by destroying

cessful humour is drawn from stereo-

and we would be lying to say we don’t.

the element of surprise. And I won’t

types that Arab terrorism and Arab at-

Despite being hilarious at times,

comment on the ending of the movie.

titude towards women. He also pulls

there was one real flaw with The Dicta-

Everyone can develop their own opin-

humour out of the sheer stupidity of

tor. There are certain points in a com-

ion on that once they see this movie.

Movie posters of an impressively bearded Sasha Baron Cohen and New York City backdropx



May 2012 -




DAVID CASH Entertainment Editor Since July of last year, when the final element of the Harry Potter series was in theaters, millions of Harry Potter fans have been left without movies or books. Now recently JK Rowling has made her comeback, not in the form of a book this time, but a great multimedia interactive Harry Potter website. What is this amazing site called you may ask, Pottermore, where all aspects of Harry Potter come to life on the screen before you. This site starts you off at the beginning of the first book in front of 4 Privet Drive and allows you to find objects and people and gives you backstories, Rowling’s Ideas, facts and other extra bits and pieces that are not in the books or movies. Eventually you make your way to the magical land of Wizardry and go to Hogwarts where you take a test to be sorted by the Sorting hat. From there you can gain house points in everything from finding objects in the interactive stories to dueling other players to brewing potions.

The site

also allows you to buy magical equipment, manage your money at Gringots Bank and even catch the golden snitch. If you have always loved Harry Potter and think you know almost everything about the books and movies, this site will prove you wrong time after time giving you tidbits and articles and real life events that influence the magical world that JK Rowling created. This is a great site that is still in its infancy with only the adventures for the 1st book on line at the moment. Though even in this one book there tidbits that you can learn. JK Rowl-

(From top to bottom) Screenshot of the Pottermore homepage, children enthralled in the site at the Pottermore Shop

ing is working as hard as a billionaire

been eventually made into movies but

/ series’ fans can learn more than any

can to make the next online adven-

that is where they have stopped. Once

book or movie could portray in an al-

ture of book two come out shortly and

all the books and the movies have all

lotted/practical number of pages or

I am among the many people who are

concluded the series is usually simply


very excited for this next adventure.

distributed as a box set and then left

plore personally and learn interactive-

This site is a turning point in the

alone as is. This site is most likely what

ly on their own time, and every time

development of literature worldwide.

the future of popular literature will

learning or finding out something new!

So far, all of the most viral books have

look like. A site where all the book’s

are hundreds of new articles, facts and

It allows the reader to ex-


COLE THOMPSON Staff Reporter Earlier this month at the Sotheby’s


May 2012 -



The Scream: Really worth $120 million?

sion of the painting was stolen from

baseball team for 4 years and 4 months,

the National Gallery; the international

a tasteful desert palace in Oman, three

media’s presence in Norway sensation-

F16 fighter jets or a recording contract

alized the theft. The painting was later

with both Jay-Z and Kanye West.

auction house in New York City, one

recovered but again stolen in 2004.


clear these examples are spread across

of four versions of Edvard Munch’s The

was found two years later. Interestingly

completely different walks of life. They

Scream was sold to an anonymous buyer

enough, the violent attempts to possess

have very little in common besides their

for US$119 922 500. The auction lasted

the Scream drove up its value.


15 minutes and the sale surpassed Pi-

for most, it is virtually impossible to

sports, art, property, social status and

casso’s Nude, Green Leaves and Bust, as

fathom the “cost” of certain works of


the most expensive painting ever sold.

art. How could a piece of “cardboard”

that a phenomenon like this can occur.

The buyer of The Scream remains elu-

be worth a fortune?

While people may balk at the ridicu-

sive however, there is speculation that

all in the eyes of the beholder.


lous amounts of money spent on certain

it could be Qatar’s royal family who has

idiomatic sentiment provides an ex-

things, they likely support or accept a

expressed interest in the pastel through

planation as to why people are will-

similar expenditure on something else.

the years. This family was not alone in

ing to pay so much for certain things.

I suppose this is what makes a market.

the pursuit of the world famous Scream.

This recent transaction got me think-

So when, the common man reads about

The Norwegian collection (two paint-

ing about what else you can buy for

the recent sale of the Scream for $120

ings and two pastels) has attracted in-

$120 000 000?

So with that in mind,

000 000 and asks his wife: “how in God’s

ternational attention since its incep-

I did what any sensible person would

name is a stupid Halloween drawing

tion in 1895. During the 1994 Olympic

do - google it.

The following examples

worth that much?”. One might simply

Games in Lillehammer, Norway, a ver-

came up: Alexander Rodriguez on your

reply: it’s all in the eyes of the beholder.


Apparently, it is

It is

There is enough dedication to security






May 2012 -

Poetry CHRISTOPHER TULLY Photography Editor


Woody Island Rocks scrape along my bare back,

The sandy bottom sifts with the current,

wind rustles my long hair,

little pebbles cut lines in the sand making a

shudders the branches of the tall pines.


Water laps on the rocks and my toes,

The little world is disturbed,

changing the color of the rocks a shade darker.

the boat cuts the map in two as it moves

The Island is silent apart for the rustle of the tall


woody forest,

A shadow flies from the side of the boat,

the sun beats down hitting the pines, the rocks,

two feet hit the bottom sending plumes of

the water and me,

sand swirling

cooling waves lap up around my feet, the wind rustles the pines, blowing, calling home. I get up.

The Dock


Sitting on scorched wood, the sun glancing off the water below,

The waves swirl round below,

shimmering, dancing as it dips bellow the

nothing but air between me and those waves,


a thin wire between me and the sky, stretched tight to the spire of the mast.

Waves splash against scorched wood, a boat glides gently along passed,

Plexiglass and metal lurches underfoot,

its wake sloshes below.

canvas flaps around above, canvas pulls tight,

Sitting on scorched wood,

the world flies forward,

toes dangling in the water,

air gives way,

frolicking in the ripples.

spinning, I meet the waves.

Sitting, On the dock.





May 2012 -



Society in Decline: The Sequel


We’ve convinced ourselves that aes-

told you what it is. You’ll get nothing

Arts Editor

thetics are a thing of the past, even

else out of it if you were to go and look

though it’s human nature to be drawn

at it for yourself, because a description


to beauty. Now, our concept of beau-

is enough. However, I could describe


ty has nothing to do with art, and it’s

the Rape of Proserpina in intricate de-


shifted from the aesthetics of every as-

tail to you, and you still won’t have ex-

succinctly justify my position on the vi-

pect of life to just sexuality, just one

perienced it. That’s because it’s beauti-

sual arts and their modern degradation.

small aspect of the human psyche.

ful beyond itself. It has symbolism and

Art is no longer about beauty. If you

The thing is, most contemporary art

meaning, which you can describe, but



doesn’t exist beyond itself. It has no

it also has its own aesthetic beauty,

ibly beautiful, people will look at it

ineffability. Here’s a test to show you

which is ineffable. Contemporary art

and say “pretty, but what’s it about?”

what I mean by that. I could describe to

tends not to have that. And contempo-

Art is now more about messages and

you the contemporary artwork My Bed

rary artists are proud of that, because

symbolism than it is beauty. You get

by Tracy Emin, made in 1999. It con-

avoiding clichés is paramount to them.

a bucket of goat excrement and paint

sists of the artist’s bed, unmade, with

It shouldn’t be. You shouldn’t care what

the word “society” on its side, and

underwear and pieces of paper strewn

other people think. You should create



around the place in a disordered fash-

something that you know is beauti-

the fact that it isn’t beautiful at all.

ion. Now you don’t have to see it. I’ve

ful, not that you hope is well-received.



scalding vious



criticism article,











Abstract expressionist art in both painting and sculpture form: the epitome of the blatant decline in art.


idiv times Letter from the Editors GABRIEL BIRMAN idiv times


the cure for restlessness is rest.

Colleen Wainwright

This quotation, as redundant and obvious as it seems, is the key to success in exams. Beginning June 8th, 2012, the whole student body (with the exception of IB2’s) will be writing a series of agonizing exams that will count for thirty percent of everyone’s final grade. Furthermore, one’s success in these exams will indirectly impact his future. With so much pressure coming in, it is actually quite difficult to find the time to relax. It is important to keep in mind that sleep, relaxation, and personal enjoyment are crucial to a successful exam week. The mind functions best when it is at rest. Apparently, 50% of adolescents do not get enough sleep, which is supposed



May Day, idiv style U-16 rugby had a tough matchup

DARREN ELIAS idiv times


May 2012 -

against Appleby, and lost 20-5. U-14


Lacrosse put forth a very strong ef-

M a y 1 3 t h was a beautiful day - over

fort against league-leaders St. Mikes,

2 0 ˚ C e l s i us - and not a single rain -

but fell short in a 8-5 loss. UCC goal

d r o p i n sight; we were all pumped

scorers included Mich Ward, James

u p f o r S a turday morning after a great

White, Charlie Dunn, and Sam Beqaj

F r i d a y a s sembly by the Board of Stew -

(all Y1). U-14 tennis demolished St.

a r d s a n d their fourth period flash

Andrews, with all five UCC players

m o b s . F rom 9am to 3:30pm, some

winning their matches, and #1 seed

o f t h e f i nest UCC spring-term sports

Paul Weiser not losing a single game.

t e a m s w e re on display. However, the

U-14 softball’s gam e was cancelled,

r e s u l t s o f the iDiv-relevant teams on

so they did not play against St. An-

M a y D a y did not quite stack up as we

drews. U-14 badmin ton was beaten 4

m i g h t h a ve hoped. Having said this,

games to 1, with Max Taylor the only

w e w e r e playing - as a general rule -

victor for UCC. The turnout was de -

s o m e o f the top teams in CISAA ath -

cent at the games, and a big shout-

l e t i c s , s u ch as St. Andrews (SAC) and

out goes to Akil Thomas (Year 2 How -

S t . M i k e s (SMC), so the results were

ards) for being DJ at all the games

n o t t o o disappointing. U-14 rugby

played on the oval. Overall, my first

h a d a s olid offensive game, scoring

May Day definitely was a good one,

1 9 p o i n t s (with captain Sam Caylor

and another UCC event to be consid-

s c o r i n g a pair of tries), but could not

ered successful. However, I am slight -

s t o p S t . Andrews as they scored five

ly disappointed with the number of

d i f f e r e n t times for a point-tally of 29.

people who showed up, because May

D e s p i t e t he loss, Daniil Klyuchnikov’s

Day could have been an even bigger

c o n v e r s i on without using a tee was

success. Perhaps wit h more activities

d e f i n i t e l y something to remember.

and food, May Day will beat May Fair.

to be more than eight hours. This is due to a shifted sleep cycle, which means that adolescents want to go to bed later, and wake up later. And often, they experience the most “sleepiness” between 8-10 am. That’s right, exam time…So get some rest and have fun writing exams. In order to better prepare for your exams, sit down, relax, and enjoy our final issue of the Idiv times presented to you by editors Gabriel Birman (Martland’s) and Darren Elias (Howard’s). This edition will feature articles on the various school events that have recently occurred in the Idiv, as well as the most recent Idiv sports news. Enjoy!

Bruce Chi and Cookie Monster raising school spirit


idiv times

February 2012 -



Norval, for the last time PAUL WEISER Junior Staff Reporter

drove us to our next campsite, Jack Smythe. Al-

event of that day though was the iron chef com-

low me to simply mention that I had previously

petition at dinner. Our principal ingredient was

thought that the “Norval trip” would be some-

turkey (also known as canned chicken) and the

The 2012 Y1 Norval trip was a success. The

thing similar in nature to what we had experi-

secret ingredient was orange, which we had to

first and most important part, as students dis-

enced in grade 7: warm, delectable pancakes in

implement into all of our meals. At the end,

covered early in the trip, was packing (it turns

Steven House topped with maple syrup, and a

groups A and B tied in first place, leaving group

out that many people learned this the harsh

couple minor activities during the day. Let us

C as the only loser. Group A had been thought

way, I mean, who thought we would need a

just say I was not the happiest of people when

to seal the victory, but points were deducted as

winter jacket?) We were given a massive list of

I found out that we would have to be con-

a certain Mats Gavelin was seen washing the

items needed to make the most out of the ex-

stantly on the go, nor would we ever have the

dishes in the Credit river. We spent the night

cursion, such as bandannas, and the boys were

luxury of spending the night in Steven House.

roasting marshmallows and eating Aero bars.

asked to bring their bags to school a week ear-

We had more sandwiches, and carried our bags

We woke up the following morning, gulped

ly. Many kids had to buy a colossal amount of

along a path for about 20 minutes to a camp-

down an insipid bowl of oatmeal, and proceeded

new clothing items just for the Norval trip. The

site located in the middle of the forest. There,

to haul our things, as well as the instructor’s stuff

bus left around 8:00 AM on Monday morn-

we met with some teachers who instructed us

too, up the flight of stairs. After what seems like

ing. Along the way, we got lost a few times,

on how to build shelters using the surround-

an eternity, we advanced to the high ropes course,

but eventually reached our final destination.

ing environment. That night, students could

where we got all our gear set up. By then we were

My class, Ms. Levene’s form in particular, be-

choose to sleep in their own shelters or in tents.

pros after having participated in the rappelling,

gan our stay at Rattlesnake Point (what a cheer-

The next morning we woke up early, as we did

so we shaved off about half an hour of time. I can

ful name!). We met the three Adventureworks!

not want any more angry bus drivers. Although

say with utter certainty that high ropes is indeed

staff that would be accompanying us for the trip,

the morning was quite chilly, we were all re-

harder than low ropes. I arrived at this conclusion

set up tents, and ate our first meal of the trip –

lieved to see the sun come out above the trees.

due to the fact that I had much trouble climb-

sandwiches, which happened to be the recurring

We walked to the canoe site, where everyone

ing up one of the challenges. Nevertheless, I can

theme around lunchtimes. Following the meal,

began with cheerful spirits. Of course, two in-

assure you that I succeeded in this endeavour.

we ventured into the forest to take part in the

dividuals on our canoe journey had their sprits

Coming back, we eagerly awaited our pizza

photo art activity: assembling natural items from

dampened (capsizing normally is not a very en-

lunch, the only junk food we had on the trip,

the wild and then taking a picture of them. Af-

joyable experience). After paddling down the

with the exception of some chips. After every-

ter about half an hour, we started walking up to

credit river for an hour or so, we arrived at our

one had indulged in their fourth slice, we began

the campsite when heavy snow started pouring

destination: a baseball field in the middle of no-

ruminating on the life lessons we had learned

down upon us, an expected blanket of cold and

where. We were greeted by lunch, made it to

over the course of this weeklong trip by con-

misery. It lasted like this for the whole night, and

Norval safely, and were met by Dr. Hammer and

necting our experiences with various organs,

many of us were thankful for the extra shoes or

Ms. Bonney to participate in a crayfish study.

such as the heart and the liver. We entered the

jacket that we had packed in our bags. Note that

The evening was quite exciting as we played

school bus as a class and sped away after say-

“many of us” does not include “all of us”, and

some football, ate our only Steven House meal,

ing goodbye to the instructors. As a whole, the

certain people were begging to be taken home.

which happened to be roast beef with glazed car-

class had mixed feelings towards the trip, with

The next day, like the first, had its ups and

rots and baked potatoes, then finished off the

some people extolling the trip and the a ven-

downs. I woke up to find out that our tent had

best day yet with capture the flag and manhunt.

tures we had, others curious about the time of

leaked, and my bag was soaked. I was grumpy,

The next day we partook in a service project,

year it is set, and some who were totally neu-

sick, and tired. Thankfully, my dwindling energy

which involved making trails for mountain bik-

tral. Clearly, the trip was meant to build com-

and contentment was replenished by some late

ers. This was a laborious task, yet I believe bik-

munity, strengthen our confidence, and make

morning repelling. We only had the chance to

ers will appreciate the effort we put in. Follow-

us more adaptable. Ultimately, we learned how

go down once though, for the others were left

ing the work, we were all hungry. So we were

important it is to have a positive attitude. In the

behind to clean the campsite for another three

not one bit surprised to find out we would be

end, we all got home safely, except for Gabriel

hours. Apparently, “no trace camping” wasn’t

eating sandwiches for lunch. During the after-

Birman, who scored himself two broken fingers.

part of our vocabulary yet. Later, we returned

noon, we passed time in the low ropes course,

to the campsite to find an angry bus driver who

and took part in various activities. The main


idiv times

May 2012 -



iDiv Music Goes to Washington ERNEST LEUNG Junior Staff Reporter

check out the great exhibits. Around 5pm, we left for dinner at a restaurant called Har-

From Thursday April 19th to Sunday April

riet’s, where we were able to

22nd, the Intermediate Jazz Band, the Sym-

chow down on pasta, fish,

phonic Band, the Concert Band, and the Ju-

and ice cream for dessert. After

nior Jazz Bands all went across the border to

dinner, we went to the Ken-

the capital of the USA: Washington D.C. We

nedy Centre to see a silent play

left Thursday morning at 6:30am. The bus ride

called Come Fly Away, which

took around 12 hours, with stops for break-

was a play with dancing and

fast, lunch, bathroom breaks, and of course,

Frank Sinatra music (played

the border. The bus ride was filled with excite-

by a live jazz band). The play

ment, with boys watching movies, and having

was about 4 couples enjoy-

constant gaming sessions of Call of Duty. The

ing a night out at a club, with

bus was overall a great time, even with all the

songs ranging from Sonatra’s

screaming, stiffness, and constant gamer rage.

Witchcraft to My Way and

We arrived in Washington around 6:30pm,

ending with his famous New

and went immediately to the (creatively

York, New York. The play was

named) ‘Nationals Park’ to see the hometown

awesome, and was a great fi-

Washington Nationals take on the Houston

nale to what was all ready a

Astros. The first pitch was at 7:00pm, and we

fantastic day. We returned

made it just in time to see the end of the first

to the hotel around 9:30pm,

inning. The game was a lot of fun, from getting

and eventually went to sleep.

hot dogs, to watching the Nationals getting

We woke up the next day

destroyed by the Astros 11-4. The highlight of

around 7am for a breakfast

the game was probably watching a 20-year old

of potatoes, eggs, and cereal

Nationals fan chirp David Cash about liking

(once again), and donned our

Sidney Crosby; our arguments covered Crosby

blazers for the competition.

vs. Ovechkin, and of course, Canada vs. USA,

We got to Woodgrove school

with us refusing to let him forget when Sidney

in Virginia around 10am, and

Crosby scored “the golden goal”. We left the

were fairly late for our perfor-

game early, during the 6th inning, although

mances due to some stragglers.

we ended up waiting quite a while for three

All five bands did an outstand-

year 1’s that decided to leave the group, effec-

ing job. The group then left the

tively defeating the purpose of leaving early.

High School at around 2pm for lunch, and af-

all, we had a great experience during our

The ride to the hotel was not so smooth, with

ter the buffet immediately drove back to DC to

trip to Washington, enjoyed having fun

us getting turned around at closed roads, and

visit the Air and Space Museum at the Smith-

with our friends, seeing some really cool

having to stop and ask for directions. We

sonian. Dinner followed, and we enjoyed the

sights and performances around the city,

got to the Sheraton hotel just before mid-

food there before going to the Kennedy Cen-

and making beautiful music of our own.

night, got our room keys and headed to bed.

tre to see the National Symphony Orchestra

Finally, I just wanted to say that the Ju-

The next day we woke early, around 7am,

perform at 8pm. The Orchestra was fantastic,

nior Jazz Blue Band and Symphonic Band

and had a good breakfast of potatoes, eggs, and

although we left a little bit early, due to some

performances were very important to us,

cereal at the hotel. We spent the day touring

misbehaving boys. We headed straight back to

because they were the last competition Mr.

the great city of Washington. We saw many

the hotel, and went right to our rooms as we

Crawford would conduct at as a UCC music

memorials from different wars, presidents

had an early wake up call the next morning.

teacher. On behalf of both bands, all mu-

and of people who had impacted their na-

The next day, we woke up at 7am to pack

sic students, and the whole school, I would

tion so greatly. Next, we went to Museum of

our bags, have breakfast, check out of the

like to personally thank Mr. Crawford for

Natural History at the Smithsonian, and were

hotel, and head back to the ‘Big T.O’. Over-

all he has done for the school, and we wish

allowed to roam freely for about an hour to

The Washington Monument

him the best in his upcoming retirement.


UCC’s Humor Publication written by people who think they’re way funnier than they actually are.

An Actual Diary Entry by Mr. Denstedt Dear Diary,

Today was such a long day! I’m so happy to be able to snuggle up in front of a nice fireplace and watch some Grey’s Anatomy. Maybe I’ll even be able to read some Twilight! Anyways, here’s how my day went:

We’re all really used to hearing about all of the famous graduates from UCC, like a certain Michael Ignatieff and Conrad Black, but what about the lesser-known ones? Here at Blazer, we decided to delve deep into the record of the school in the library (sitting only four to a table, of course), and find out a couple of the other graduates, so here they are, UCC’s lesserknown graduates:

4:00am: Woke up, kicked Dirty Mike and the Boys out of my house, got changed out of my Powerpuff Girls PJ’s, and got Captain Crunch into my workout clothes.

4:00am - 7:30am: Finished working out, only got 500 That’s right, the cereal pirate did consecutive pushups, so I knew that today was going to be indeed grace our halls. The Captain, a long day. from Seaton’s house, was apparently a pretty big lax bro. Rumor has it 7:30am - 8:15am: Arrived at school, roughed up a couple that he got an eye patch from a freak barstudents, and headed to assembly. down snipeshow accident. He had pretty nice 8:15am - 9:05am: Assembly ended. Another sale is happening flow too, but got in a lot of trouble in the form of DCI’s. The hat inside didn’t fly with some of by the Key Club. Boy, do I hate charities. his teachers. Him and Mr. Sharpe apparently 9:05am - 12:30pm: Period 1 and 2 are over, roughed up a go waaayyy back. He was also a part of the couple kids, and taught some Geography. What are tectonic mahjong club, and the HRC, no suprise there. plates even? For lunch I ate half a cow. I saved the rest for dinner. Waluigi 1:10pm – 3:30pm: I had the period off, so I did some squats.

Ugh. We really didn’t want to have 3:30pm – 4:00pm: Done teaching. roughed up a couple more to resort to doing a profile on him. I mean look at him, he doesn’t even kids, then drove home in my Mini Cooper. have a real name and don’t get us 4:00pm - 6:00pm: Fought in my underground fight club. Drove started on that mustache. Waluigi was apparently a pretty killer euphonium player from home. Gotta love an affordable car with great gas mileage! Orr’s house (did it even need mentioning?), 6:00pm – 6:30pm: For dinner I ate the other part of the cow. I and played a solid game of tennis and golf. felt a little classy, so I cooked it this time. His yearbook blerb was, “Peace out, I’m off to Yale.“ He went to Seneca. 6:30pm – 8:33pm: Watched the Notebook again. Sigh. Ryan Reynolds Anyways, that was my day, Diary. I got caught up writing and taking pictures of myself in the washroom for a little bit, so it Anyone who does no justice to looks like I better head to sleep. Goodnight Diary! Green Lantern in their portrayal will not be talked about in Terrence Blazer. Ever.

House fakes his death to avoid jail and be with Wilson.

If we’ve offended you with this issue of blazer, we’re sorry. Please send all hatemail to if you want to join our team, email us too. -xoxo, BS Don’t Care Crab This is the return of the Don’t Care Crab! Once again he will shed some light on some of the things at UCC that we just don’t care about. • iDiv Times - Don’t Care • Quiddity - Don’t Care • Laptop Acceptable Use Policy - Don’t Care • “Please close your laptop” - Don’t Care • No cutting in the LDH - Don’t Care • “The elevators are for teachers only” - Don’t Care • “No sweaters in class” - Don’t Care • Student card bill – Don’t care, it’s not real money • “Remember to staple your work” - Don’t Care • “Don’t pack up, there’s still a minute left in class” Don’t Care • Backup your computer - Don’t Care • Swim team wins OFSAA - Don’t Care Headlines • Y1/Y2 play sells record-breaking 4 tickets • Dr. Churchward caught gaming in class. Computer confiscated. • National Guard called into school when weekly schedule email is delayed. • David Cash and His Drama Pin: Where are They Now? Airs tonight at 8:00pm on CBS. • SL Language and Literature finishes learning alphabet song. Months ahead of schedule. Beginning Green Eggs and Ham analysis next week. • New “NFL’s Most Textbook Tackles and Softest Hits” DVD selling poorly. • Y1/Y2 students argue that iDiv lounge is a constructive work environment. School lol’s. • Wingdings considered an inappropriate font. Students in outrage. • Powers are convicted of being under the influence of performance enhancing drugs. • Teachers beg students to stop adding them on Facebook. They already have 46 friends.

Friday is a casual dress day.

2011/2012 - Issue 8