12 TYGERBURGER Bellville
NUUS
Woensdag, 19 Oktober 2016
Finding light in the dark corridors of life ANDRÉ BAKKES
@andrebakkes
T
he dark corridors of life hide many demons. How does it feel to have nothing – no hope, no light, no love, no food, no dignity? In February this year a 50-year-old man from Parow was fishing at a tranquil dam in Durbanville. He had casted nine rods and was waiting patiently for that first fish to take a bite when he saw a boy and his family. Soon he talked to the boy who seemed fascinated with fishing. He told him that if his dad can successfully cast three times into the dam, he would give the boy a rod, hooks, bait and a fishing net, which he can keep forever. The dad acquiesced and a short while later the boy caught a huge fish with his secondhand rod.
‘All I can see is light’ He looked proudly at his fish and then saw the laughing stranger nod his head approvingly. “See, this is what I want to do,” says the man from Parow. Last week Andes Gillion called TygerBurger to find out more about an elderly couple mentioned in the article “Car couple struggles in search of home” (TygerBurger 12 October), but instead it was the newspaper who found out more about Andes. He dreams of helping the helpless... of empowering the vulnerable; of finding hope where, at first, there appears to be nothing but unimaginable terror just lurking in the shadows. “A few months ago I met a homeless man who lived in a shelter in Woodstock. His wife and two children were living in a lounge in Table View. When I met the woman she was very depressed, because she did not have money to feed her children. I gave her money and she said she’d pay it back. I said I didn’t operate that way. If she had to pay it back then I’m not filling that hole with soil,” says Andes. “I asked her if she was in a dark tunnel and whether she’s been praying to find relief out of this tunnel. She answered yes. She only saw darkness. I then said her prayers have been answered, because I am with her in the tunnel and all I can see is light! I also told her I saw her, her husband and their children living in a house in Parow.” On 1 June this year, the day Andes, his wife and his son moved into their new home in Parow, the homeless family moved in with them. Andes inspires people, but dreams of empowering them to set their lives on a better path. One might wonder what one man who sees only light can say to someone stuck in pitch
Andes Gillion from Parow has managed to find the light where there was never supposed to be any light at all. black darkness. What does this former business analyst know about suffering, after all? “When I went for psychiatric evaluation the woman just looked at me and asked me why I haven’t committed suicide yet. She said no-one could go through what I have gone through without killing themselves.” Andes was just six years old when he was sent to an orphanage. “I was an abused child and my mother was also horribly abused by my stepfather. She tried to kill us (Andes and his two brothers) because she didn’t know what to do with us. So we constantly ended up in hospital. She fed us sleeping pills... Tried to chop our heads off; stab us. We were put in a children’s home – a prison – in Port Elizabeth. “It was their priority to get the 90 children out to families so that they can go on holiday themselves. They farm the children out to whoever can take them, so many of the children were sent to abusive families. They gave me up to this ‘God-sent angel from heaven for ‘holiday week’. I’ll never forget this. This highly religious man, a Methodist, gave me a lot of alcohol one night and then early the next morning – on my 14th birthday – I had the most fearful experience of my life. I lay there, my blood running cold,
as cold as ice, through every single vein in my body. I lay there with my eyes closed while this man was abusing me.” Despite Andes being molested by a “man of God”, he emphasises that God must not be judged. “It wasn’t God’s will. It wasn’t God doing it. Actually God was suffering more than me when I was abused. He detested and hated it more than me while it was happening!”
No idea After Andes left the children’s home he went to the army, and two years later he found himself standing on the side of the road, with nothing but his clothes. He had no idea how to operate in the real world. According to him he was raised in a type of prison, had no parents to guide him and had no continuity of friends. He adds matter-of-factly that most of the children he grew up with either committed suicide or died violent deaths after turning to a life of crime. “There is no ‘after-children’s home’ care,” he explains. As close to destitute as can come, Andes went to the one person who could educate him about how the world works – the very same man who molested him as a 14-yearold.
PHOTO: ANDRÉ BAKKES
“On the one hand he abused me, but on the other hand he could teach me. I chose to focus on the good, rather than the bad. The same can be said of my mother. She had her challenges and thought she did what was best for her children. I watched my stepfather trample her hips so badly that she could never stand and walk again.” The psychiatrist told Andes she found it astonishing that he went from being abused to forgiveness, and there was nothing in between. She said people would normally move through the stages such as depression and anger before getting to forgiveness. But Andes saw the light... “Am I going to carry 100 kilograms of anger, hate, revenge and resentment in my life and move forward? Have you ever tried to take ten chairs and carry all those while writing an article? Those are the things that hold you down and keep you back!” Andes has a dream – a dream to teach people how to overcome the bumps in the road. He dreams of empowering the homeless and hopeless, of teaching them how to fish instead of merely giving them one. And he is well on his way to change the world. V Read next week’s TygerBurger for more on his bur geoning nonprofit organisation and his plans for the future.
An insight into dealing with mental illness World Mental Health Day was celebrated on 10 October and Dr Ajesh Janki, a psychiatrist at Akeso Clinics with branches across Cape Town and the rest of the country, offered some advice when it comes to living and dealing with someone with a mental illness. Where can I learn about mental illness? Instead of reverting to “Dr Google”, stick to reputable websites such as Medscape or the Sadag/Sasop websites, Janki says. You may also wish to speak to your loved one’s treating psychologist or psychiatrist, but remember that they are bound by ethics and the law and that this can only happen if it is consented to. What do I do if my loved one is refusing help? Try to understand their reasons and to reassure them about their concerns. Remind them that an assessment is not necessarily a commitment to taking treatment or being hospitalised, or that treatment does not necessarily involve taking medication and that there are psychological therapies as well. In severe cases where there is a lack of insight or the person poses
a danger to themselves or others, involuntary admission may be necessary. This involves a legal process of compelling a person to be admitted to hospital despite their unwillingness to consent. This is usually done in the interests of someone’s health or safety or for the protection of others. How do I deal with difficult behaviour? It is helpful to anticipate potential problems and devise plans to reduce the risk of commonly encountered behaviours such as drug or alcohol misuse, threats of acts of aggression or threats or acts of selfharm. Verbal or written agreements on what is appropriate can be helpful. Harm minimisation strategies are sometimes preferable, for example, it might be better to agree on drinking small amounts of alcohol at home as opposed to someone going out and binge drinking, Janki says. What do I do if someone is suicidal? Try to establish how the person is feeling and what is contributing to their feelings of desperation. Offer assistance within your means and remember that you are not a therapist or psychiatrist. There are many support groups that may be of assistance.
Seek an urgent appointment with a mental health professional and if this is not possible, take the person to the casualty department for an assessment and if necessary, an emergency admission to hospital. How do I deal with a distressed adolescent? It is estimated that up to 20% of adolescents meet the diagnostic criteria for a mental illness. Common problems include drug and alcohol misuse, depression, selfharm and suicidal thoughts. Which organisations might be useful to get more information or for support? . Akeso Psychiatric Clinic (www.akeso.co.za). Akeso Clinics is a group of private in-patient psychiatric clinics. Akeso Clinics offer specialised in-patient treatment facilities. In the event of a psychological crisis, call 0861 4357 87 for assistance. . South African Depression and Anxiety Group (www.sadag.org). This website has information on mental illness, support groups and other practical information. . South African Society of Psychiatrists (www.sasop.co.za). This website has information on psychiatry and psychiatrists. There is a “Find a Psychiatrist” function,
information on support groups and information on mental illnesses. Fact box: . The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that mental disorders account for 30% of non-fatal disease burden worldwide and 10% of overall disease burden, including death and disability. . One third of all South Africans have mental illnesses and 75% of them will not get any kind of help. . More than 17 million people in South Africa are dealing with depression, substance abuse, anxiety, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia – illnesses that round out the top five mental health diagnoses. . Nearly 20% of high school students a year think about fatally harming themselves. . Roughly 25 percent of all general practitioners’ patients are ill due to psychiatric rather than medical conditions. . Mental illnesses are treatable. Between 70% and 90% of individuals have a significant reduction of symptoms and improved quality of life with a combination of pharmacological and psychosocial treatments and supports.