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IssueTwo | April2012

Dave Lawson

Back in business

For Young People By Young People About Young People


Bombs Away - page 7 The Artist - page 14 Dave Lawson - page 16

-TEMPORARY NEW YORKThe Vic Review - page 23 Mel Buttle - page 26 The Pint of the No Return - page 28 Comedy in Brisbane - page 30 Last Time by the Moonlight - page 32 -EGYPT, I CRAVE YOUByron Bay - page 39 Once upon a Google Maps Holiday - page 40 Ho Chi Minh City - page 42 Tiger Temple - page 44 -REAL LIFEConfessions of a Twitterholic - page 47 Just Who is the Biggest Loser - page 48 Spiced Coffee Recipe - page 49 The Unsocial Network - page 50 Real Men Eat Plants - page 52 The Book That Changed My Life - page 55 How to Survive Your First Year of University - page 56 The Month That Was in Sports - page 58 Chocy-Coffee Cupcakes - page 60 Soccer-Mad - page 62 -SEXY, AND YOU KNOW ITWhat Wear When - page 65 Girls Fashions - page 66 Mens Fashion - page 68 Nail Art - page 70

-T.x Team Editor-in-Chief Natasha Turgoose DeputyEditor Ben Harrison Entertainment Georgia Blann; Rebecca Wilson; Jesse Thompson; John Bryant; Natassja Bertram Travel Jordan Bissell Food Michelle Shaul Sports Matthew McInerney; Edward Davies Health Ashley Prigent Fashion Saskia Starck; Nandi Van Rooyen; Axal Huskisson Photography Michalina Wozniak; Nick Adermann; Shannon Murphy Web Design Billy O’Naire

Follow Us! Twitter @TxMagazine; @TashTurgoose; @Benjammin2009; @Eddavies19; @Rebeccaw93; @NandiVanRooyen Tumblr&Blogs;; Facebook -T.x Magazine


Letter from


Hey! ! has been crazy. We’ve had a nth mo s thi , lie a nn go t no I’m ! d for my liking... but it’s ok, little too many bumps in the roa o! because here it is now... IssueTw time to announce that -T.x st be the is s thi nk thi I , So ! er the next month! First of all, Magazine is changing a little ov newest member of the -T.x we are happy to announce our I will be putting the task of Design Team, Hannah Mitchell. pable hands. I can’t wait to ca r he o int e zin ga ma the g nin desig see what Hannah will do to -T.x! r, and better... with -T.x We also plan to make -T.x bigge ! l, and -T.x Radio - a weekly ne an ch e ub uT Yo ted vo de a TV w gossip. show, bringing you all of the ne time, -T.x Magazine will Don’t worry though! At the same ! u this this issue is bigger and yo If re. mo d an re mo ing olv ev be ! ;) better... just wait until Issue Three nth, regardless of the March has been a pretty good mo ! nineteen now... And we spoke to I’m ! ay thd bir my s wa It s. mp bu e Jezabels! Check out this Th m fro m Sa d an on ws La ve both Da and next issue for Sam’s issue for what Dave had to say, I head off to Supafest to get all interview! Next week, Ben and and we’ve found ourselves on . u.. yo for re the m fro ip ss go the the guest list for The Jezabels. !


Until next month,

Ta! Turgoose

Almo! Fam"s Emerging Artists | Interviews | Entertainment

Bombs Away!

feat. DJ Kronic.

-T.x’s Ben Harrison and Georgia Blann caught up with the boys from Bombs Away and DJ Kronic on the Brisbane leg of their ‘Wild Nights Tour’...

Bombs Away are currently taking the Australian clubbing industry by storm. Originating from Triple J’s program ‘Unearthed’, the two brothers decided to hit the decks and create singles and mixes of Australia’s chart topping tracks, both of which have become highly successful over the past year. Brought up in Perth, Western Australia, Tom and Sketch are currently touring across Australia on their Wild Nights Tour alongside DJ Kronic (Luke), who all recently touched down from their tour in the US. Unlike other artists who limit their performances to major cities, Bombs Away are heading for numerous small towns and suburbs across the country. Privileged enough to speak with both Bombs Away and DJ Kronic on Wednesday 14th March, I was eager to attend their show at my local, Eatons Hill Tavern on Friday 16th. After speaking to the boys about their experiences and shows in the US and also having attended one of their performances

last year, I had a good idea of what to expect. But wow, I was definitely not prepared for this. The night started with a few drinks here and there, whilst the resident DJs of Eatons Hill including DJ Morgan Baker and Tooshoes played some tunes to get the crowd excited. Just before 10pm staff members began to prepare the stage and then the music stopped; before I knew it, there they were. Bombs Away were decked out in tattoos, sweatbands, sequins, merchandised tee shirts, vests and snap-back hats. At this stage there was not a single place on the dance floor that wasn’t occupied by screaming fans dancing and jumping to get a glimpse of the DJs on stage. DJ Kronic was nothing like I imagined him to be: young face, bald head, cheesy grin with a giant chain around his neck saying “Watup Bitch!”. Kronic began to play his set whilst Bombs Away stood in the side-stage VIP area, bottle of vodka in hand; downing

it like it was water! These guys seemed to have it down pat, they didn’t even gag! Everyone was cheering them on while Kronic was getting the crowd excited by jumping up and down behind the decks. By this time I had managed to push through the crowd right to the front of the dance floor, surprisingly no injuries sustained. After a few songs Kronic then walked away from the tables and off to the side right in front of where I was standing. The next moment was to say the least, amazing. A wave of confidence washed over me and I had this crazy idea, it’s now or never! I waved at Kronic until I got his attention then called him over to the front of the stage. Over the screams of the crowd I somehow managed to tell him that I spoke with him two days ago, he gave me a huge grin and before I knew it he was pulling me up on stage into the VIP area! I took a moment to look out over the sea of drunken fans, take a deep breath and then wave to my friends in the crowd; so this is what it feels like to be famous! I then introduced myself to Tom and Sketch who were still skulling vodka side stage. They were both very friendly and welcoming, Matt even made some compliments about my appearance that made me blush and giggle like a school girl. They took their final swigs from the bottle then the boys walked on stage

accompanied by DJ Kronic. The crowd went wild as they began their set with a variety of mixes from their new CD, ‘Wild Nights 2012’. As I was watching from side stage I got to talking with a man standing next to me who was filming Matt and Sketch. He turned out to be their uncle who was touring with them around Australia. As the show progressed the boys had their vodka at the ready and even shared some with the fans lucky enough to be in the front row. Tom, Sketch and Luke all took turns in standing on the tables, sometimes jumping off onto the very front of the stage within the audience’s reach. Towards the end of their performance without any warning, Luke jumped into the crowd and began to crowd surf across the dance floor. I had honestly never seen DJ’s interact with the crowd this much during a performance, even in their performance that I saw last year. Bombs Away played their chart topping single ‘Big Booty Bitches’ just before finishing up their set. I’ve never seen a crowd so wild; the females of the audience were trying their best to live up to the name of the song whilst Tom, Sketch and Luke shouted lyrics down the mic’ and skulled more vodka. Saving the best until last has always worked a treat. My first experience at a Bombs Away performance in 2011 was truly unforgettable, however I never expected anything like what I experienced at their Wild Nights Tour. The boys have never let their fans down; whether it’s the fact that they drink as hard as the audience or the fact that they aren’t afraid to associate with their fans, these guys definitely know how to party. Looking back to their first performance I attended, it’s amazing to see the progress they have made in such a small amount of time. Their popularity and fan-base has increased to such a level that they’re now considered to be one of the greatest up and coming acts of 2012. And this is only the beginning…

The Interview What would you like us to call you? Sketch: I’m glad you guys asked us that. Cause everyone keeps calling me Matthew Coleman and I’m like waaaaah? Kronic: Call me Matthew Coleman Sketch: I’m Sketch, the bald guy is kronic and the curly headed guy is Thomas Hart Sketch and Tom, where did you guys meet and eventually form Bombs Away? Sketch: We met when my mum was like hey you got a new brother because I had sex with your dad. And then I was all like waaah waaaah and then I was all like wow who’s this guy? Then I was like let’s make some music and he was like okay! But there were some years between that.

Kronic, how did you meet Bombs? Kronic: I met Sketch and Tom at a festival when we were all s*** faced and uhm I was a drunken idiot and kind of stood out and they were all like yeah this guy is f****** awesome. Sketch: Hang on you kicked one of our speakers over as well. Kronic: I kicked the speaker and i had a whistle that I was annoying everybody with at the tables we were eating on. Was it like the vuvuzela’s that they have at the soccer? Kronic: Kinda. Then I apparently took over reception and started ! ! answering peoples phone calls to the hotel.

Growing up, were you interested in this sort of clubbing music, and if not, how did you get into it? Sketch: I was, but Tom and Kronic were way cooler than me and they were both hip hop guys. They actually had friends and uhm they only got into electro lately. Kronic: Answer is acceptable. Is there a story behind your band name and DJ name? Kronic: Well I got the name Kronic from the Snoop Dogg album and it has nothing to do with smoking weed. It kinda did on the album but I just liked it. Sketch: I like it because to me in Perth, if something is chronic it means lots. Like if something is chronic good it’s good but if something is chronic bad it’s really bad. It’s an adjective that means hardcore. That’s how i see it. Kronic: Yeah, I’m hardcore Sketch: You’re an adjective mate Kronic: Yeah I’m an adjective. It has nothing to do with weed. If you could talk to your 16 year old selves what would you say? Sketch: Dude, just make out with more girls. They should be making out with you already. Kronic: Learn how to DJ quicker.

Sketch: Stop worrying about anything that’s not DJing So what would you name your biggest influences as? Tom: As in under the influence or? Whichever way you choose to take it. Tom: My biggest influence is vodka. Kronic: Yeah, Vodka and Tequila Tom: And mother. You’ve gotta write vodka and mother.

That’s great. Kronic: Yeah vodka and mother. Have a drink. Tom: My biggest influence is G Shock watches, vodka and mother !energy drinks.

Now this question is for Bombs Away, your website states you’re working on remixes of songs by the likes of Katy Perry and Cee-Lo Green. Can we expect similar styles of music or are you looking at doing something completely different? Sketch: Uhm yeah the ones coming up now. If you wanna tie this up in the same question. You can do Pitbull and Alex Gaudino. They’re our two big ones coming out. So we got a song Clinton Sparks and Pitbull, they’ve hit us up. They want something exactly our style. So they came to you? Sketch: Yeah With the success of swagger and supersoaker and kronic with your megamixes and recently looking for some girls, do you feel pressure to keep producing successful songs and mixes? Sketch: Yeah it’s not really pressure. Kronic: A lot of the time you put half the effort in and nothing comes ! out. Then something comes naturally and you know that it’s right. Hang on second. Yeah alright. Sketch: You’re lucky this isn’t a radio interview. Tom: I said can we swear Sketch: As long as we keep f****** working and keep being f****** awesome Kronic: Yeah I’ll tone it down okay Sketch: Yeah I don’t mind, I’m laughing see hahaha.

We understand you’ve just finished a tour in the U.S. How was it? Sketch: Yeah it was a bit crazy, Kronic came with us as well. What was your favourite place over there to play at? Sketch: My favourite place was inside American girls. Kronic: Oh, that was amazing Sketch: Yeah, did you like that?

So, we don’t really need to ask you what you did in your downtime then? Kronic: We didn’t really have any downtime. It was their downtime. Tom: Ohhhhh! Sketch: That’s what I’m talking about How are the American crowds compared to the Australian crowds you’ve played for? Sketch: They were good. We were amazed at how much they knew. ! They weren’t as crazy as the Australia crowds, as a nation, we know how to party. But they seemed to enjoy it and we seemed to get just as good of a response but they didn’t go as crazy. Where is your favourite place to play in Australia? Tom: Where are you guys based? Brisbane. Tom: Well then Brisbane is. What would you say is the worst thing that has happened during a gig, if any? Sketch: For me, from Bombs Away, I would have to say equipment failures. It happens very very much more often than we would like. The biggest problem is when it’s a half failure ! people think that it is our mistake, like it looks like our mistake. Lately we just turn the music off and start telling jokes on the microphone. How does the crowd take that? Sketch: It hasn’t ever gone well yet, but we’ll keep trying. Kronic: Equipment failure is the f****** worst. It cut out for me over the weekend. Lastly, we’ve had some requests of five questions to give you guys if you don’t mind. Are you a dog or cat person?

Sketch: Cat. I like cats because I don’t have to be home all the time and when I do come home they’re all happy to see me and stuff. Where as with dogs I feel bad when I’m not around. What was the first album you ever bought with your own money? Tom: Aqua Kronic: Wutang by 36 Chambers Sketch: Oi hey man when are you back on the Gold Coast? Kronic: Me? Friday. Sketch: You should come to Eatons Hill with us in the morning. I know we’re just using your connect call to converse, but would you like us to call you back after this? That’s fine. Sketch: You should put this in the interview. We will. Kronic: Yes I am coming and I would like to bring four hot strippers. Sketch: Are they actually hot? Kronic: They’re not actually strippers. Well I don’t know I’ve gotta figure out who I’m gonna bring. Sketch: Well we’ve got room for four. What is the worst christmas and/or birthday present you have been given or have given to someone? Tom: Oh that’s a good one. My favourite gift to give is a wrapped stapler in wrapping paper in a box then in a bigger box, then wrapped up nice and neatly and just make it look amazing and decorate it so it looks like the most amazing present you ! could possibly get and then you just have layers and layers of paper and they have a stapler on the inside.

I’ve actually done that too. Sketch: The best present we ever got, Tom and I, our dad got us a watermelon with a line drawn down the middle and one side it !said Tom and on the other side it said my name. Kronic: I can’t top that Do you have any weird talents that most people wouldn’t know about you? Sketch: Judging by the sounds that come from the next room when we’re on tour with Kronic, his amazing talent is in his pants. Kronic: No Comment. What do you usually order when you go to McDonald’s? Kronic: Big Mac mate. Sketch: I’m like a cheeseburger guy. I’ll eat five or six cheeseburgers and that’s it. Kronic: You eat s*** loads hey? Why wouldn’t you just get a triple cheeseburger then?

Sketch: It’s not the same. The ratio on a standard cheeseburger is what’s amazing. You get a combination of all. Kronic: Remember when we were in the studio recording looking for some girls? I went to maccas and Matt’s like get me something and surprise me. So I got a double quarter pounder and a triple cheeseburger and I put the cheeseburger in the double quarter pounder. Oh my god, that’s like a heart attack in a burger. Sketch: That’s the best answer. That pretty much finishes up our interview with you guys, thanks for talking to us. Sketch: You know what they should put in the article? What we should put in all interviews? Kronic: What? Sketch: Something about looking for some girls, but we should say that even though Tom has a girlfriend, Sketch and Kronic really are looking for some girls. Come now.

t $ # A "e

Jean Dujardin and Bérénice Bejo sparkle on-screen together in their roles as George Valentin and Peppy Miller.

Here is a film with more jazz, sass and class than any released in recent years. It sees the mainstream film industry, ridden with special effects and CGI, and gives it a big ‘up yours’. ! ! The Artist takes us back to the glorious rise of Hollywood in the 1920s. In a daring move on the behalf of director Michel Hazanvicius, the film is shot in the same silent, monochromatic style that its protagonist stars in, accompanied by only an orchestrated musical score in place of dialogue. ! ! French actor Jean Dujardin stars as George Valentin, a silent film star at the height of his glamorous career in the film’s opening. Women swoon and cheer for him, Hollywood’s heartthrob. Men scramble for his autograph. At the end of his movie premiers, he dances and gloats in front of impressed masses, lapping up their adoration, mimicked by his dog and loyal companion, Uggie.

! ! Fate draws Valentin and co-star Peppy Miller (played by Bérénice Bejo) together when the two bump into one another following one of Valentin’s film screenings. Miller is pulled into the spotlight of the public eye when she appears kissing Valentin’s cheek on the front page of the newspaper, much to the disapproval of Valentin’s uptight wife. We later learn Miller to be a rising young actress when she auditions for a role as a dancing extra in the actor’s next film, ‘The German Affair’, and is granted the part. ! ! ! The two begin to fall for each other, but are pushed apart when the wheels of Miller’s acting career are set in motion with the introduction of sound cinema at the dawn of Hollywood’s Golden Age. With the newfound ability to speak, shout, sing and scream, Miller becomes the new face of Hollywood, squashing Valentin’s former glory. The latter is soon fired, and Miller is contracted as the star of his movie company, Kinograph.

! Out of desperation Valentin begins to write, direct and star in his own films. They all bomb out at the box office – the once-thriving silent cinema market is well and truly dead. Valentin is washed up, divorced and mentally unstable. He is forced to fire his loyal servant, Clifton. Now, he spends his days downing bourbon after bourbon at abandoned bars, and pondering the celluloid ghost of his acting career. Even Uggie seems miserable. ! The true magic of this film comes from its sharp manipulation of genre, which is perhaps the best I’ve ever seen. Lack of dialogue places pivotal importance on the orchestrated soundtrack accompanying the film, though music director Ludovic Bource compensates expertly for this. The score is at times light, cheery, dramatic, romantic or frightening, though all at once bold, daring, and fantastically appropriate. ! The actors’ use of body language and hand gestures perhaps speak better than words ever could, and their facial expressions are always precise and powerful in conveying emotion. The film dwells not on superfluous conversations that dialogue often drags along with it. Instead, its storytelling is economic and effective. On-screen, Dujardin and Bejo share a dynamic flare which audiences are sucked into, involved in. ! On the whole, The Artist is highlyreferential of its silent predicament – early on in the film, real life audiences laugh as actors nervously obey a sign telling them to ‘Please Be Silent Behind the Movie Screen’. In a crucial moment after the premier of one of Valentin’s films, actors anticipate the reaction of its

viewers. What we believe to be gutrenching silence is in fact revealed by a change of shot to be an audience erupting with silent applause. ! I’m sure young people will be deterred by the thought of watching a silent film in this day and age. With action-packed titles such as John Carter and Contraband on the competitive market, who wouldn’t be? After all, where are the explosions? And the shouting? I’m sure many people have walked out of The Artist mid-way through the film. Don’t be deterred by the film’s genre. It works miraculously well, and exhibits one thing: you don’t need big bangs, shootout scenes or even dialogue to make an excellent film. The very premise of making a silent film in today’s movie industry is in itself so bold and daring that Hazanavicius deserves a good pat on the back. For producing such an excellent film that can be cherished by all age groups, he deserves two. As a film so wonderfully executed, it comes as no surprise that The Artist bowled over multi-million dollar colossal projects such as Stephen Spielberg’s War Horse and Woody Allen’s Midnight In Paris to take out the award for Best Picture. Other awards went to Jean Dujardin for Best Actor in a Leading Role (in undeniable testimonial to Dujardin’s stunning silent charisma), Michel Hazanavicius for Best Directing, Mark Bridges for Best Costume Design, and Ludovic Bource for Best Music (Original Score). And rightly so. Four out of four silent film reels. !






Dave Lawson

Melbourne-based Dave Lawson is a very recognisable name in the Australian entertainment industry. He first hit our screens on Nickelodeon's 'Sarvo' afternoon show. After involvements in other Nickelodeon shows such as 'Camp Orange', 'Nick takes over your School' and The 'Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards', he then went on to host his own show on Channel [V] with James Kerley called 'The Dave and Kerley Show'. From there his career went into a whirlwind of commercial TV and radio appearences, stand up comedy, a music video appearence, and even a role in Peter Helliar's box office success film 'I Love You Too'. Now he is hosting his own online based show called 'The Shed Show', a somewhat satirical series including celebrity interviews with those that matter most, and unveiling perhaps a secret desire to appear on 'Rove', all in the most high-tech studio available of a show of its calibre - a garden shed. With 'The Shed Show' set to probably take over the internet in 2012, we thought it was a perfect time to catch up with Dave...

What made you get into comedy? ! Well here’s the funny thing, on Wikipedia it says I’m a stand-up comedian and a regular on the stand-up comedy circuit. I’ve never touched my Wikipedia page, and I don’t know where that came from. I never really considered myself a comedian, I got into it through wanting to become an actor. I consider myself more of an idiot than a comedian... a professional idiot. I mean, your teachers say you can’t be an idiot forever... but you can. I'll see how long I can make it last - I’ve been doing it for ten years now. You started out on Nickelodeon alongside James Kerley on the Sarvo show, as well

as SNTV, and then you both went on to do your own show on Channel V (The Dave and Kerley Show). Why do you think you two work together so well, and are you still in contact? ! Yes... I am still very much in contact with James Kerley. I’ve got an 11-month-old son and he’s been trying to become the godfather. So, I’ve suggested maybe ‘godfriend’ is more appropriate. It’s quite a responsible role, and, well, not that James Kerley couldn’t handle it but, you know, I’d have to think twice about that! Funnily enough, he’s on the latest episode of The Shed Show, the internet show I've been doing out of my backyard which I've just put up on

YouTube (you can see it here http:// v=0ammW88MwyU&context=C428130dADv jVQa1PpcFMF7_ilYkxVqoY-mtRAkow6l-K9Uuph_c=) - he’s my special guest on the show. I think that it’s important if you’re working with someone that you enjoy their company and find them funny, and I’m still very good friends with him. So maybe that's why we’ve worked so well together. You’ve worked with a lot of big name stars over the years such as Stephen Curry, Peter Heliar, Sophie Monk, and Alex Lloyd to name a few. Who do you think is the most influential person you’ve ever met? Well, I’m not sure about influential, but the one time I’ve been starstruck is when I met Tony Hawk at the 2003 Kids Choice Awards in LA. I grew up watching Tony Hawk skate, he then brought out his video game, and then just to meet him, I really had nothing to say. I mean, sometimes you meet these people and you don’t want them to be an arsehole and let you down you know, because you’ve built them up in your head. But Tony Hawk was just... he’s an amazing guy! I’m not sure if he’s the most influential person I’ve met but that's the one time I’ve been starstruck, and really been lost for words when meeting someone. Between all appearance you’ve ever done on radio, and the big and small screens, what has been your favourite? I’m very much enjoying making the internet show in my backyard at the moment, I really do enjoy that. Nobody can tell me what to do, because on the internet you can do whatever you like. Nickelodeon was pretty good as well, I mean, turning up to work and being slimed that didnt feel like a job. It came to a point,

though, one day, where I thought that maybe I’ve done this too much. We were playing a game called 'In Your Face' and I had this nappy just full of Nutella stuck to my head, and I thought that maybe it was time to rethink what I want to do with my life. That was such a great job, but I think it was time to let someone else have a go. But yeah, I think Nickelodeon was one of my favourite jobs. I’ve also been doing TV commercials for Toyota, which we recreate with Stephen Curry - 'Legendary Moments in AFL' so that’s got to be close to one of my favourite jobs too, because I have got to meet a lot of my football idols while doing it. Who are your biggest football idols? There’s a whole lot of them. Tony Lockett, who played for St Kilda - I got to meet him. Alex Jesaulenko was another one, who played in the 70s. I got to meet all of them, and have a kick with them, so for me it doesn’t really feel like a job. And with Stephen Curry too, he’s great to just spend time with, he’s just... he’s so funny. You grew up in Melbourne, do you think that reflects on your career at all? You know, I’ve thought about this, and I think the climate might have something to do with it. In winter its just so cold. All you’ve got to do is stay indoors and I have to come up with ideas of things to do. Whereas if I were in, you know, a warmer climate, I’d just wanna go to the beach the whole time. So maybe climate has something to do with that, but I don’t know if it influences me. I don't really think it matters where you grow up, but climate might have something to do with it, because it keeps me indoors for 6 months of the year. So if global warming comes along, are we doomed? Yeah thats right. I’ll have nothing to do. I’ll have to... go outside...

If you weren’t working in comedy, what could be your dream occupation? I've always wanted to be a pilot. I think maybe an airshow pilot - a stunt pilot, would be good. My mum is South American and when I was little she always used to take me to the airport, because she wanted me to become a pilot so I could fly her home whenever she wanted. That’s probably sort of caused my desire to be a pilot. James Kerley, actually, has just got his pilots licence.

own show. I couldn't see anyone giving me a chat show on TV, and in the last 10 years, or even 5 years, it’s getting easier to make things yourself, with the quality of equipment and editing with computers at home, so I thought rather than just waiting for someone to ask me to do a show, I’ll just do it myself on the internet and see what happens. It’s been a lot of fun. Also, I mentioned it to a producer, and she said it’d be a good idea so I thought I’ve got to do it now. I’ve got a lot of help from other

Really? James Kerley has his pilots license? I’m not going up in a plane with him anytime soon, but he can fly a plane. He’s allowed to, you know, legitimately. I’m not jealous, though I’m a little bit envious because it’s something I’d love to have as well. He’s offered to take me up - he calls it 'Kerley Airways'. I don’t know... I’d like him to get a few more hours up before he does that.

people doing favours for me.I’d like to just keep making it, but at the moment it’s costing me money to make, so it’s not really a job, it’s more of a hobby.

You’ve talked about it a little bit about The Shed Show, but what’s the story behind it? Tell us about it. Well I’ve always loved late night shows, you know, chat shows, like Letterman, Conan, and Rove as well, and I always thought it would be great to do my

If you could have any guest on The Shed Show, who would it be? Someone famous would be good. I want to get Eric Bana. In the first episode, I had Stephen Curry on, and for some reason the audience decided to get involved in the show, which I quite like, and they started hassling him to call Eric Bana and get him on The Shed Show, so it seems right if only one day I can get Eric Bana. That’s right. I don’t know how they’d react when they realise they’re in some blokes shed with 30 people in the

audience but maybe... you never know! You’ve got to think big don’t you. If I could get someone like the Foo Fighters to play here at The Shed, that’d be great. Well we’ve had Jet and Short Stack break up this week, so theres potential for some new big acts... I thought maybe ‘Jet: A Reunion’ on the show? Maybe if I think big, it’ll happen, and you know.. anything else, well that’s just a bonus. If you were stuck in a shed for a week, and you could only have 3 possessions with you... what would you pick? This is tough. I’d need water, you know, to survive. I’ve got to think of survival - I’ve got to live for a week in a shed. So I reckon water, and probably... potatoes. Potatoes? Really? Tell us about that... Well then you can have mashed potatoes... oh, but I don’t have an oven to cook it, do I? Actually, I suppose I could (have potatoes). I’ve got water so I could boil them. I could eat boiled potatoes and mashed potatoes, so that’s my food and hydration sorted. And then...I need one more thing don’t I? Well... I’m going to need some entertainment probably. See if I had a computer, I’d need WiFi, and that’s probably two things, isn’t it?. Maybe an iPhone, because then you have mobile internet. Yeah... but that’d be everything. It might be nice to not have the iPhone for a week. Maybe just a notepad. A notepad, yes! Because then you could play hangman, and noughts and crosses with yourself - endless possibilities! Yeah, it’s not painting a good picture of yourself is it? When all you want is water, potatoes and a notepad... We’ll see how that goes... That’s maybe not a bad exercise to try. I’ll lock myself in a shed for a week. It’d be kinda like Big Brother, but not as exciting... in a shed. Pacing back and forwards. Yeah, that’s not a bad idea. Do you think the world will end this year?

Look... the other day, maybe two weeks ago, I saw a really bright meteorite, or an asteroid, and it broke up, and I thought, maybe this is it, you know? I don’t think the world will end. The world will keep going around the sun. Whether we’ll be on it is another question. I think the world will continue...but, um...I’m hoping not. If we can get another five or ten more years, that would be good. I don’t think the world, or civilization, is going to end this year. What can we expect from The Shed Show this year, and do you have any other plans? I’d just like to keep making it, and making it regularly. It’s just so hard when I’m relying on favors of all my friends who I’m relying on for the sound, and cameras, and getting the audience together. So, I’d like to just keep making more episodes of The Shed Show, I just love doing it, and maybe get Jet to reform... Yes! That's your long and short term plans sorted... That’s what we’ll do. We’ll put our heads together about that, and keep thinking about it, and maybe it will happen. I’m so excited, we’ll be watching! We’ll get Eric Bana, and Jet to play on the show!

Want more of Dave? Follow him on Twitter: @davewlawson See 'The Shed Show' here: http:// DavesShedShow See his role in the hilarious 'I Love You Too' here: tt1376709/



Not only is P. DIDDY an iconic hip-hop legend, a successful actor and an incredible entrepreneur, he is also a certified global superstar. Over the past 14 years, he has released 5 successful albums featuring many worldwide hits including “I’ll Be Missing You” featuring Faith Evans, “Come To Me” featuring Nicole Scherzinger, “Hello Good Morning”, “Tell Me” featuring Christina Aguilera, “Coming Home” featuring Skylar Grey, “Bad Boy For Life”, “Last Night” featuring Keyshia Cole and many more. He started his career at Bad Boy Records, the record label he founded, and not only mentored a generation of talent – from Mary J Blige, and Usher, to Lil’ Kim and TLC – but he also perfected “mainstream” hip-hop, a genre which changed the face of popular music. He has produced hits for Mariah Carey, New Edition, Boyz II Men and Aretha Franklin amongst others, and put arguably one of the greatest rappers of all time, Notorious B.I.G on the map. His latest music project, “Diddy – Dirty Money” allowed him to explore his passion for dance music, which he grew to love through his travel to global hot spots like Ibiza and Berlin. Diddy-Dirty Money is an R&B/Hip-Hop collective featuring Dawn Richards, Kalenna Harper and of course Diddy. This exciting direction for him blends elements of UK grime, Mediterranean techno, and the 808’s of American Hip-Hop. The result is “Last Train To Paris” which was released in 2010. In addition to records, Diddy has a sprawling business empire including a clothing and fragrance line, a chain of restaurants, and a successful reality show “Making The Band” on MTV, amongst many other things. Check him out at Supafest 2012.

Look out for more Supafest 2012 artist profiles throughout the magazine!

w e N y r a r o p m Te k r o Y Brisbane | Reviews

| Gossip | Parties | P



Atmosphere: 4/5

"e Vic What   |   Where   |   When   |   Why

The Victory Hotel has one of the best atmosphere’s I have ever experienced on a night out. Even in the lineup to get inside the anticipation starts building, the people start chatting and your mind begins to blow. Once inside there is several areas you can choose from. On you’re left hand side you can sit down in the bar area and have a quiet beer or two, or you can continue on outside to the beer garden. The Beer Garden boasts a live entertainment area, plenty of seating and a nice big bar. Going back inside now, you can head upstairs to where the party’s at: the DJ and dance floor. The crowds at the Vic aren’t your typical Brisbane rowdy crowd. Whilst they know how to throw down, they know how to behave (usually!) and that makes for a good night out (not getting into a fist fight with some intoxicated fool). Overall, if you’re one of the people that likes the atmosphere on a night out, the Vic has something for everybody: live music, dj, dance floor, outdoor areas, indoor areas and three bars.

Bar Service: 5/5 Bartenders at the Victory Hotel know two things: their drinks and how to look like they know their drinks. Many of the barmen can remember what you drink or can suggest and make you drinks depending on what you feel like and some even invent their own drinks which can carry a great taste or be really strong depending on your liking (usually after a few drinks it’s better not to go for the strong ones as I’ve regularly found out). Prices on a

Thursday night are cheap at $3 a basic, proving that you don’t have to spend a small fortune (plus a bit on top) to have a good night out. If you haven't yet had a Wet Pussy Shot, here’s the place to try one.

Bouncers: 3/5 The bouncers here are a different story. From the solitary glance at your I.D. when you enter it’s like you’re in a constant state of keeping an eye over your shoulder for fear of getting the much dreaded tap on the shoulder. The bouncers here are very strict and like no nonsense, sometimes it almost feels like they start kicking people out for lack of nothing to do. Having said that, they do earn some points for the no nonsense culture they instill in the place (at least it makes you feel safe on a night out which is always a plus).

Entertainment: 5/5 Usually on a Thursday night you have two entertainment options. The live band downstairs (who in the early morning is replaced by a DJ) or upstairs in amongst the smoke and flashing lights sits a DJ booth. Usually as soon as you enter you’ll figure out where you want to spend the rest of your night: either the DJ is good and the band is average or vice versa. If you’re like me and after a few drinks think you’re the male version of Beyonce or even Beyonce for the matter, you’ll love the dance floor. It’s not small enough for you to be cramped but it’s not big enough for people to make a circle around you to watch your awesome dancing.





Total: 4.25/5

Kelly Rowland.

KELLY ROWLAND is currently one of the hottest females on the planet – period. This Grammy Award winning artist has been part of one of the most successful groups of all time, has a hugely successful solo career, has sold millions of albums worldwide and has starred in motion pictures and TV. Her latest single “Motivation” featuring Lil Wayne is currently sitting at the top of the US charts and her next single featuring rapper of the moment, Big Sean is due to be released shortly. Kelly launched her post-Destiny’s Child solo career by teaming up with rapper Nelly in 2002 for their worldwide #1 hit “Dilemma”. After two successful solo albums “Simply Deep” and “Ms. Kelly”, Rowland was ready for a new direction. She teamed up with French DJ David Guetta and ended up making one of the biggest singles of 2009, “When Love Takes Over”, and followed it up with 2010’s “Commander”. Having blown audiences away at 2010’s Supafest, Paperchase Touring and Entertainment are thrilled to have Kelly Rowland back. Her latest album “Here I Am” is out now. See her live on stage at Supafest 2012.

-T.x Magazine promotes safe drinking.

18+, you know the rules.

Y"’re Welcom& Mel Buttle is a 30-year-old stand up comedian. She's a regular on Triple J's breakfast show with Tom and Alex, with her weekly segment 'Buttle Theatre'. Alongside Patience from The Grates, she has two successful podcasts, "The Minutes" and "You're Welcome". She's written countless columns for The Courier Mail, and has a very successful online following through both twitter and her online blog, all while living in Brisbane with the fruitful Barry Buttle, her father. She's pleased to be an alumni at All Hallows, and has a fond love for cats. She was recently the headline of the Comedy at Birdees launch (featured on page 30) . We caught up with her recently to discuss all things Mel.... !

What made you first get into comedy? I just love it, I always loved watching the Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala. In 2004 I did a comedy course mainly just for fun, and got addicted. Comedy is pretty addictive, there are a lot of highs and lows so it gets you hooked quickly. Who are your biggest influences? My friend Josh Thomas has taught me the most about comedy, he is a big influence on my style and joke writing. What was the worst gig you've ever had? A corporate gig, where they were offended by my jokes and then rang me to complain about me. It’s hard to perform in a corporate environment, it’s not set up for comedy, and unless you’re well known, they often won’t enjoy your performance. You're a regular on Triple J, you have two podcasts with Patience from The Grates, and of course, you've done heaps of stand up. Which do you enjoy the most? I enjoy radio the most, I guess that’s why I do the two podcasts too, it’s my fav thing. It’s structured but still creative. Making the podcast with Patience is pure joy, we had no idea that anyone would listen to is, and it’s just fun to hang out with her and eat cake afterwards.

You've got quite a bit of a following on twitter, and you often have your tweets illustrated. If you could illustrate any part of your life, what would It be? Me patting Patience’s cat, I would love a drawing of me and Mrs Eyeball!

What's your favourite Dad joke? Dad, I feel like an icecream, you don’t look like one! You've grown up in Brisbane. If you could pick one must-see place for a tourist that not many know about, where would you pick? Westfield Carindale, it’s the biggest shopping centre in Brisbane, the food court is second to none. Bear Grylls couldn’t find a park and a nutritious meal at Carindale, it’s tough terrain, but a worthy challenge. If you could pick anywhere in the world to do a gig right now, where would it be? New York, at The Comedy Cellar What's next for you? Where do you see yourself in five years? You can’t really plan much in this industry, it’s a mix of watching The Circle in your pajamas and hoping that someone will ring and offer you a job. I hope to get further into radio within the next 5 years. Want more of Mel? Follow her on Twitter: @MelindaButtle Hear her podcasts: http:// Read her blog: http:// Hear her on Triple J: Tuesdays at approximately 8:40am, 107.7FM, Brisbane -R.W

Comedy in  Â Brisbane If laughter was the best medicine, consider Brisbane your pharmacist. Finding, good quality, affordable comedy shows in Brisbane has never been easier, especially at this time of the year. From those trying their luck with small crowds at open mic nights in intimate bars, to shows headlining some of Australia's biggest names in stand up with audiences in packed out venues, you're never short of a giggle - all you have to do is look around!

Comedy at Birdees A new addition to the comedy scene, Monday nights at The Aviary at Birdees, Fortitude Valley (as reviewed in Issue One) have never been more appealing. With a mixture of headliners such as Mel Buttle, Damien Power and Stu Fisher, as well as some new discoveries that are easy to fall in love with each week (about 5-7 acts per show), the variety makes it a perfect choice, and best of all it's free! The atmosphere is comfortable, with lounges and tables scattered all around the stage with the bar within arms length, so you don't have to feel obliged to sit too close or too far from the action. Don't consider it a quiet night though, as the venue is notorious for backpackers, and for most of them, it is their first time seeing an Australian comedy show. Heckling has a slightly more than common occurrence. However, food and drink prices are, let's say, of backpackers nature, so your wallet will love you as much as you love the acts, and, let's face it, who doesn't love backpackers? When: Every Monday night @ 8pm Where: 608 Ann St Fortitude Valley Cost: Free! Contact: 07 3257 3644

Livewired Comedy Somewhat more settled in to the Brisbane comedy scene is Livewired Comedy at the Brisbane Powerhouse at New Farm. Shows are every Sunday and, once again, free! Never try and estimate who you might get to see - they've had everyone from Tripod to Stephen K Amos take to the microphone. In amongst the trendy suburb of New Farm, the venue is ideally located on the edge of the Brisbane River, backing onto the picturesque New Farm Park. The Brisbane Powerhouse has its own bar and restaurant, and there are four levels - three of which look down onto the Turbine Platform where Livewired is held each week. See Livewired Comedy and laugh away the end of the weekend. When: Every Sunday night @ 6.30pm Where: 119 Lamington St New Farm Cost: Free! Contact: 07 3358 8622

One for the Calendar.... Also hosted by The Brisbane Powerhouse, the annual Brisbane Comedy festival showcases the best local, national and international acts we have to offer over one month. While it finished at the end of March for 2012 and it's another year until it returns, do not despair. Most of the acts travel to Victoria over April for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, however for those who can't travel to Melbourne, a group of the best comedians team up and form the Melbourne International Comedy Festival Roadshow, travelling all over Australia. Brisbane Powerhouse is hosting the roadshow on May 16-19, with tickets for $38. Other towns the show visits include Ipswich, Redcliffe, Logan and Gold Coast. For further details and to book visit outside-the-festival/roadshow/ -R.W.

La! Time by

'e Moonlight

-Michalina Wozniak


Byron Bay

As usual you can catch public transport to just about any place in Australia. However, if you’re leaving from Queensland to head towards Byron Bay the change over of the ticketing systems (Go Card to Paper Tickets) can be a little confusing. I suggest getting a group of your friends together and driving down - it’ll be the easiest, fastest and probably cheapest way to go. When you’re there you can just park your car at your accommodation and use one of the many transport options available to you. Byron Bay is a small place so you can always walk everywhere you go or you can hire out mopeds or bikes (yes, they do have tandem bikes) and cruise around the bay.


Byron Bay has many different types of accommodation ranging from hotels to rental houses and cabins. Cabins are the cheapest way to go if you’re staying the night or if you’d rather spend the extra money and stay in a nice hotel then the Beach Hotel is for you. Right on the waterfront it provides you with everything you need.

Food: There are many little independent cafe’s situated along the beach front and the maze of streets behind the ocean. There is also many franchised options such as Subway and Brumby’s or the lovely restaurants joined with some of the hotels.

Sites: Besides the dazzling and spectacular views of Byron Bay that the beachfront provides you, there is also a pool situated right behind the ocean to swim at if you don’t like the salt water. The lighthouse is a must see when you get there, the spiraling road up there is a great view as it is but when you reach the top the sight will take your breath away. Situated on a cliff face, the giant white and blue bricked building really stands out against the aqua water below. If you’re lucky enough, you may see marine life swimming around the most eastern point of Australia (a site which you can walk to from here).

Shops: Byron has the feeling of a quaint seaside village and the shops reflect that. Many surf, candle and jewelry and clothing shops are present and are all reasonably priced for the day tripper.


Once upon a ...

Google Maps Holiday..? Don’t judge me. I’m poor. And I NEED a holiday. So the other day, I was getting desperate. I’ve mentioned before in my articles that I need, need, to travel... but can’t afford it. This time, it pushed me to the brink of insanity, until... I had an idea! I can do basically everything else on the internet... why can’t I go on holiday? So, I pulled up Google Maps, and decided to explore New York City... Gossip Girl style. I decided to find the place on the show (yes, I was watching it at the time...) and found hundreds of ‘Gossip Girl walking tours’ online. So, I took one. YES, I took it on Google Maps. YES, I know you’re judging me. Do I care? Maybe a little... I mean, NO. ;) The first place I ‘saw’ was the entrance to the characters elite schools - The Constance Billard School for Girls, and St. Judes School for Boys.... it’s actually the Museum of the City of New York...

Then... I walked around a bit more..... kinda..... and LOOK! There are the stairs where Blair sits to have lunch with her friends. In the show, it looks as if the stairs are right near the school, but they’re actually blocks away from it. This is the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Then... I decided to go for a bit of a umm.. shopping spree in 5th Avenue, and there it was, the famous ‘Bendels’.. right infront of my eyes. And... then I saw it. The home of Chuck Bass. The Palace Hotel (pictured above the title). Maybe it’s a good thing I was only on my computer. Had this been a REAL holiday... I may or may not end up camping outside the hotel... waiting for Chuck. One day, Tash... one day...

Ho Chi Minh City in   one   week.    “Changing all too fastâ€?

As soon as the plane touched down in Ho Chi Minh City, I could tell it’d changed since I’d last been there a year ago. No, the oppressive heat hadn’t subsided. Nor had the exhilarating hustle and flash of the city and its nightlife. The sultry evening air was still permeated with its usual scent of durians and motor oil. But without even getting off the plane, I could tell something was different. After a long year at uni I was dying to be relieved of textbooks and tutors, so I decided that I needed a week away. And at just $2000 a pop, a seven-day sojourn to Vietnam would provide an affordable break. So, it was agreed upon. In anticipation of our whirlwind trip, myself and my sexy manservant (ok, my mum, same difference) packed our bags and jumped on a plane bound for South East Asia’s city that never sleeps. If there’s one thing you should know about Vietnam, it’s its style of government. Despite being one of the world’s largest exporters of fake designer handbags and a great lover of Baywatch and Next Top Model, the Vietnamese maintain a strictly communist philosophy. The immigration officer who stamped my passport wore a bleached Billy Ray Cyrus mullet under his Castro hat.

Anyway, like I said, the city had changed drastically since I’d been there last. Driving to the hotel, it was easy to put my finger on it: the city appeared much more Western. The roadside stalls were still churning out traditional Vietnamese dished to passers-by, but they were set up in front of brightly-lit chain shoes and supermarkets bearing “US-style� products. The teenagers who last time floated elegantly around the city in their traditional silk costumes now wore jeans, razored haircuts and tattoos. The following morning, we made our way out into the street, which was already humming with the buzz of activity and the rhythmic banging of numerous construction projects. Our doorman explained in broken English that the past year has seen increased capitalism in Vietnam, as the government has encouraged Western investors to pump their dollars into the economy to bring it up to speed with the rest of the world. No wonder the city had changed so much. If history has proven anything, it’s that tradition and obligation are no match for capitalism and he almighty dollar. Our first port of call was the Ben Thanh markets, which I was glad to see hadn’t changed. If you don’t mind being hassled and jostled, then the markets can be a veritable mecca for you. From caged cat to

vegetables to traditional silk ao dai dresses, absolutely every product is available. Just get there early because that’s when the locals shop and you’ll be able to see the most activity. However, beware that white skin will attract a sizeable amount of interest and you’ll find yourself being dragged into stalls and badgered to spend your cash there. After spending a morning haggling with the manipulative shopkeepers (“No, madame! Just one dollar more? My children will all die if you only pay me four dollars!”), we headed down the road for lunch. The French colonial influence is still evident, with the streets named after those in Paris. On the Rue de Pasteur, we discovered a restaurant with a 20-page menu offering gastronomic delights from the four corners of Vietnam. We settled upon a traditional lunch of lemongrass and chili beef and rice papers with sugarcane prawns (which would become our favourite dish in Ho Chi Minh) and washed it down with a glass of strawberry juice before continuing on our way. We crossed the road to marvel at the bronzed statue of Tran Nguyen, the first person in Vietnam to use a carrier pidgeon. Apparently such a feat deserves a 50-foot monolith erected in your honor. However, it was nice to see that in such a changing environment, the city had chosen to let the 100-year old statue stay. After a durian ice cream to refresh us, we hailed a taxi and sped off to the Saigon Womens Museum. The museum, an imposing multi-storey structure, pays homage to all things communist and all things feminist, in that order. A colorful array of national costumes

proved interesting, as did plaques detailing the number of women who were esteemed for having killed the most “American pigs” in the war. However, our cultural leanings were interrupted by a group of obnoxious school kids, so we made our way to the Bitexco financial tower. The tower, which was only finished a year ago, boasts 360-degree views of the entire city. Although it was undoubtedly an amazing structure, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad at how the city had changed in the 12 short months since I’d been there. The older generation and their traditions were dying out, making way for corporate chain stores and fresh new Western attitudes. Skyscrapers and cars were taking the place of markets and motorbikes and the Ho Chi Minh skyline was changing all too drastically. The most poignant image of Vietnam’s changes that I’d seen during my trip was a paraplegic war vet who had a PVC pipe in place of a prosthetic leg. In awe, he gazed up at the sparkly 20-story megalith that was the Diamond Plaza Mall. Neither the man nor the mall looked like they quite belonged in the bustling street, the city caught halfway between tradition and modernity. As we wound down with a drink and watched the sunset from the top balcony of the Sheraton Hotel, we discussed how the city had changed since we’d been here last. “I think,” mum said, “that I’d recommend people come here as soon as they can. Before long, it will look just like another city in the West, not like Vietnam. It’ll all be gone soon”. In spite of all the city has to offer, I couldn’t agree more. -J.B.

Tiger Temple

One of the most amazing experiences I have ever had was at the Tiger Temple in Thailand. The family went on holidays for three weeks, traveling all over Thailand. In the first 3 days we went to a small place called Kanchanaburi. They had absolutely everything there; elephants, lava caves, boat rides. One day we went out traveling with another family we had met and a guide. On our way home, mum had decided that she wanted to go visit the tiger temple that afternoon. No one else wanted to, and could you blame us? The whole day we spent riding elephants, we were tired, sore and smelt bad. Mum didn't like this too much and decided to go by herself if no one wanted to go. By the end of the 'bus' (I guess you could call it that) ride home, everyone had agreed to

Once we got there, the place was a mess. It was not visually appealing at all, dead trees everywhere. Wild pigs walking through the grounds. As we headed down towards the temple, we were all wondering what we were doing here. The place was a mess, could it surely be safe? Before we were allowed to enter, all bright and warm coloured clothing had to be removed or replaced, this was so the tigers were not 'set off'. Walking down the path, the temple opened up. Massive rock walls bordered an open enclosure that was filled with several adult tigers. The tigers had a metal chain locked loosely around their necks that was attached to a wooden stake that was hammered into the ground. Safe, huh?

Lining up to go into the temple, a few rules were explained. You were not allowed to talk, laugh or make any noise. You could not wander off by yourself and had to be connected to an employee at all times (monkey grip). You could not take your own photos, staff members walked around and did it for you. Now, at this stage of the trip. Facing fully grown tigers that weren't exactly properly restrained would be pretty daunting, huh? Wrong. The adrenaline pumps through your body and mostly, you don't even realise what your doing. Getting to the front of the line comes and goes and it was time to enter. A staff member walks up to you, grabs your wrist and walks off, sits you down in front of a tiger and starts taking photos.

Tigers are beautiful creatures. Their colours are just the most amazing vibrant colours on such a large animal. Their fur is rough on your skin and the pure size of the beasts is just enough to overwhelm you. After visiting a few more tigers, your camera is given back to you and your hurried out of the enclosure just as the enormity of what you did hits you. You start to shake and feel faint. Luckily they hand out free bottles of water on exit. You can't believe what you have just done. Sat face to face with a basically unrestrained tiger. Probably one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and to think I wasn't going to go. The best thing you can do while travelling is not stay in your hotel room.!! ! ! -B.H.

Real Life. Advice   |   Health   |   Sports   |   Food

Confessions of a ...


Twitter. Noun. A series of short, highpitched calls or sounds. Thank you Google, but I would have to disagree. If you're new to twitter, well, I would consider it more....celebrity stalking HQ. Honestly, there is no other place where you can get comprehensive coverage of Kim Kardashian having a coffee, or even say, Ruby Rose buying a cardigan. But it's not all finding out which hotel your favourite band are staying at during Big Day Out, as twitter can be a useful tool to the more serious issues facing our society, in regards to breaking news, political affairs, Justin Bieber getting a haircut, you know, the hard-hitting issues. I once got a Happy Birthday message from Erin Mcnaught on twitter. That certainly wouldn't be able to happen anywhere else. So, if you've been dreadfully missing out on the world of twitter, never fear. Rebecca Wilson is here. What's been trending? #simpsons500 - Our favourite Springfield family reached a magnificent milestone 500 episodes! But the major question on twitter - will they make it to 1000? Only time will tell. Family members are still yet to age. If only it were like that in the real world... #replacemovienamewithexam A common occurrence on twitter, where people change the names of movie titles with random words, often to some quite humourous results. Some notable mentions include "Harry Potter and the Deathly Exam" and "Final Examination 5" #1000dayswithoutMichaelJackson - Fans are still in mourning after the death of Michael Jackson. It still seems like only yesterday we heard the shocking news. Most tweeters said they were paying tribute to the 1000 days milestone by playing his songs on repeat. This is perfect proof that his music will certainly not be forgotten any time soon. Happy Birthday Twitter - The social networking giant celebrated 6 years recently, with the very first post by founder Jack Dorsey: "just setting up my twittr". Tweets have notably progressed on subject matter.

Borat - Whoops! A gold medallist Kazakhstan shooting team were played the national anthem from the spoof 2006 Sacha Baron Cohen film rather than the real Kazakhstan national anthem during their award ceremony, which includes some rather offensive lyrics about the Kazakhs. Borat - 1, Kazakhstan - 0. Who should I follow? With the Melbourne International Comedy Festival kicking off again for another year, make sure you follow these Australian comedians for everything festival related, and maybe hear a joke before anybody else... Wil Anderson @Wil_anderson Tom Ballard @TomCBallard Josh Earl @MrJoshEarl Lawrence Leung @lawrence_leung Peter Helliar @pjhelliar What the? With a style more expected from someone like Homer Simpson, Taylor Swift (pictured) celebrated St Patrick's Day in a rather unique fashion. "Celebrating St Patrick's Day the best way I know how. Donuts" Don't forget to follow -T.x Magazine on twitter: @Txmagazine ...Oh, and me, if you want, I guess.... @Rebeccaw93

Just Who Is The

Biggest Loser? In recent years reality television weight loss shows have hit the top of the viewing charts. But are these feel good weight loss programmes as healthy as they’re cracked up to be, or are they a potential disaster in the making? Ben Harrison reports. Weight loss shows that have invaded our homes and dinner times such as The Biggest Loser and Excess Baggage are pushing their contestants to an unhealthy boiling point many claim. “They’re taking people who have been inactive and are not in good shape and boom, automatically subjecting them to this stress”, Carol Wolin-Riklin, a bariatric nutrition coordinator at the University of Texas medical School, recently stated. Channel 9’s rival to Channel 10’s highly successful reality weight loss show ‘The Biggest Loser’, has been called ‘Excess Baggage’ and has been received with a luke warm welcome from television viewers. Dumped to the ‘GO’ channel after only a few weeks, one is to wonder about the future of such weight loss shows. It’s hardly surprising that ‘Excess Baggage’ wasn’t a hit, seeing as though it was plagued by claims of teaching contestants an unhealthy lifestyle from the start by encouraging contestants lose the most weight weekly.

Contestants, averaging approximately 3-4 kilograms average weight loss weekly, are exceeding the recommended weekly weight loss of 0.5-1 kilogram weekly by 3-4 times, so it’s no wonder why former dance star Kevin Federline has been admitted to hospital during the filming of one of the segments on ‘Excess Baggage’. Federline, was rushed to Mt. Druitt hospital after experiencing chest pains and a high pulse rate. After a few blood tests were conducted, Federline was deemed to have had a minor cardiac arrest. After incidents like these occurring regularly on these types of shows, it’s about time the shows changed their goal from weight loss to health. Instead of sending these contestants on crash diets and unbelievable amounts of exercise no gym would ever set for people this size, they should be focusing on more teaching these contestants a lifestyle change and how to maintain a healthy weight after they leave the programme. Who knows, with their perfect dinner time slot, they might be able to teach the everyday family a thing or two while they’re at it. !






Spiced Coee

-T.x Recipes

Prep time: 2 minutes Cooking time: 7 minutes Serves: 2 Ingredients: - 40g of ground coffee beans (about 4 ½ tablespoons) - 1 tablespoon ground spice. I suggest cardamom, cinnamon and nutmeg or garam masala - 2 cups of boiled water - Milk (optional) Do it: 1. Put water on to boil 2. Put the ground coffee beans and spice into your coffee plunger 3. After the water has boiled, let it sit for about 10-20 seconds and then put

it into the plunger with the coffee beans and spice. Let brew for about 5 minutes. 4. Press the plunger down to trap the coffee and spice granules at the bottom. Serve with milk if you so desire and enjoy. Pro tip: If you want to use a percolator just add the spices to the ground coffee before percolation and prepare as normal. If you normally use an espresso machine or instant coffee try infusing the spices with the milk. Do this by slowly heating the milk to boiling on a stovetop with whole cardamom seeds or cinnamon quills. Remember to remove these before serving.

The UnSocial Network Have you ever had cake so good that just one slice isn’t enough? You promise yourself that you’ll stop after just one piece, but its irresistible sweetness just whispers to you, “come closer, just a little more can’t hurt”. “Ok,” you think, “just a little piece of the frosting… Oh, what the hell, another slice can’t hurt. I work hard. Yeah, sure, ice cream on top, too”. Before you know it, you’ve devoured another piece. Then another. Before you know it, you’re cramming the entire Woolies sponge into your gob like there’s no tomorrow, taking desperate, gasping breaths in between each mouthful of sickly sweet, crumbly goodness. Suddenly, you realize you’ve eaten the whole cake. And yet you’re still left wanting more. My point is that everyone has an addiction. Mine is Facebook. I use it as an emotional crutch, a time waster, a procrastination tool. If I was unfortunate enough to be Edward Cullen, I’d tell Facebook, “you’re my own personal brand of heroin”. I must log almost 20 hours a week on the

Facebook. Almost an entire day wasted on relentless liking and stalking my 437 “friends”. Sad, I know. I could be reading the dustcollecting copy of Anna Karenina sitting atop my desk instead. So when my media lecturer mentioned that Facebook advertisers are doing nothing but exploit the site’s users, my ears pricked up. “Wait a tic!” my inner monologue cried. “Surely Mark Zuckerberg knows that I’m Facey’s biggest user? He wouldn’t use and abuse my loyalty like that, would he?” Actually, I couldn’t be more wrong. Facebook can tracks members’ movements to tailor-make advertising for them. Does this mean Facebook HQ can see my drunken posts? I cringe. (“Hrhdgd i luve voddkah and mfigf frienbs” was the latest gem). “This creeps me out,” I thought one Saturday evening, “not to mention Facebook’s voyeuristic nature. I’m going to do a week’s detox and deactivate my account”.So I did. And here is a week without my cyber infatuation, diarized for your learning benefit:

Day 1 (Sunday). After working a tenhour day, I grab my iPhone and go to log into Facebook before realizing what I’ve done. Instead of being greeted with a veritable mecca of sociability, the app displays a blank screen. I visualize Gandalf telling me “you shall not pass” as I angrily snatch Anna Karenina up and stalk to a dark corner of my room to brood. If anybody understands my sorrow, it’s the Russians. Day 2 (Monday). The first day back at uni since my born-again revival. As every computer screen in the lecture theatre glows with the white and blue gorgeousness of the newsfeed, I sit there with my stupid biro and my stupid notebook taking notes and listening to the lecture. “Being social is overrated” is my mantra as I glower with envy at my classmates. On the plus side, I’m sure I heard more of the lecture than anybody else did. Day 3 (Tuesday). Today is my day off uni and I’ve actually spent it doing productive (read: boring) things like exercising and finishing assignments. Whenever the urge rises to log on, I go and make myself a very strong cup of tea and clean something. Needless to say, every square inch of my room is spotless and my hands won’t stop shaking.

Day 4 (Wednesday). I’ve bought and watched The Social Network (only because the store didn’t have Fight Club. Damn. No shirtless Brad Pitt for me.) It was surprisingly good, and painted Facebook as an impersonal, corrupt community (a bit ironic coming from Hollywood?). However, for the first time since I started this experiment, I’m glad to be living my life totally offline. Day 5 (Thursday). Thanks to the other uni work I’d been assigned, a 2000word essay on World War I had slipped my mind. And it’s due in a week. Bugger. Usually If I’d forgotten an assignment like this, I’d spend five days procrastinating on Facebook, and the remaining two days stress-eating and forgetting that it isn’t ok to punch strangers.But now things have changed. So, with a determined outlook (and a mad buzz from the triple-shot latte I’ve just inhaled), I spend the afternoon in the library pondering the intricacies of the German-Ottoman alliance. Day 6 (Friday). One day to go, but I don’t think I’ll log on much anymore, to be honest. I’ve enjoyed the blissful ignorance that comes with not knowing whether people are hanging out without me. I spend the evening with my family, half a cider and no computer. Thug life. Day 7 (Saturday). Today is the last day of the experiment and I’ve made the decision to stay off Facebook for good. In the last week, I’ve finished three assignments and probably had more face-to-face conversations than in my entire life. I’m also proud to say that tonight in the Valley I won’t be making any vodka-induced status updates. I bet 437 people are now breathing a sigh of relief. -J.B.

Real   Men   Eat   Meat PLANTS

It’s been an all-too-familiar stigma for some time now among the average Australian man and woman – and indeed much of the Western world – to be confronted by a steaming dish of vegetables and question: where’s the protein in this salad? the iron in this leafy soup? the calcium in this glass of soy milk? Well they’re all right there. In fact, they’re in abundance. More often than not there’s a reliable source of protein, iron, calcium, antioxidants, essential amino acids and dietary fibre that is common to all of the aforementioned nutrients: dark and leafy greens. I can already hear you thinking out-aloud: “That’s sounding a lot like the perspective of a placard-bearing, ethically-driven Vegan who uses organic shampoo, detergents and cosmetic products and runs his own veggie patch in a bid to

promote animal well-being.� In truth regardless of what the moniker “Veganism� pertains to - there is substantial evidence to suggest that a “wholefoods, plantbased diet� provides many, many benefits for our own well-being. Perhaps we can refer to such an idea as “Plant-based nutrition�, rather than tackling any more “– isms� in this short piece of prose. Whether you’re a firm believer that eating animal products makes perfect sense or is a little morally askew, the ethical considerations can lie in wait while the health factors prove the truest point: The presence of many of the world’s most crippling conditions can be greatly reduced, if not completely eradicated, simply by eating a wholefoods, plantbased diet while avoiding processed foods, refined foods and animal-based foods such as meat, dairy and eggs. But why

seem so certain about the fact? We’ve assumed for decades that as humans we are but omnivores and designed as such to consume both meat and plants. It certainly isn’t so black and white as to say we should follow one path or the other, though the benefits of sticking to a strict diet of fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes are insurmountable. Lucretius: “Man is what he eats.” As human beings we place a heavy weight on the importance of Protein in our diets. When comparing the benefits of animal or plant-sourced proteins, it is irrelevant to our metabolic systems engaging in protein production and repair whether we source essential amino acids from animal or plant proteins. Though, being that protein is not consumed in isolation but rather packaged with a host of other crucial nutrients as well, the quality of fats, carbohydrates and other nutrients in this “protein package” can dramatically influence long-term health. Studies suggest that sourcing protein from beans, nuts and seeds as an alternative to meats dramatically reduces the risk of heart disease. Go figure? It really should go without saying that avoiding unnecessary fats and dietary cholesterol (found prominently in animal-based foods) will only have beneficial results for our health. ‘The China Study’ by T. Colin Campbell, which is the single most comprehensive study undertaken touching on the relationship between diet and the risk of developing disease, determined there is a high correlation between “Western” disease and one’s concentration of blood cholesterol. The study also concludes – above anything else - that a plant-based diet is always associated with lower mortality of some cancers, stroke and coronary artery disease.

Hippocrates : “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” It can be tough to look at the grim picture but simple to see that along with the Australian weekend barbeques, meat pies at the football, lamb kebabs out on the town and cheeky sugar indulgences now and again, our diets have become calorie rich and nutrient poor. Processed and refined foods are more calorie dense than the whole-plants and wholefood ingredients they are made from, and there are virtually no nutrients in animal-based foods that are not better provided by plants. With the ever present fats, oils and dietary cholesterol found in meat and dairy, we feel the results directly (in our waistlines) but more secretively in our bloodstream, the ever-present contributor to long-term health and well-being. Consider this: a diet of plant foods could fill the human stomach sufficiently and provide no more than 600-700 calories in the process. While all the while giving the body all the natural antioxidants, amino acids and other nutrients it might need. Denser, refined foods (especially oils) on the other hand, fail to fill the stomach even a fraction as much even once they’ve charted up to the 900-1000 calorie point. Truly, a diet consisting of processed foods, fats and oils will rack up unnecessary calories and also never amicably trigger that lovely “I’m full and my body is going to enjoy using up all my energy to digest this” mood. Thomas Edison – “The doctor of the future will no longer treat the human frame with drugs, but rather will cure and prevent disease with nutrition.”

As a country and culture we really have become overfed and undernourished. Organic, plant-based nutrition is not only something that has the ability to benefit the environment tremendously, but our own future well-being as well. So I suggest you put down that stick of salami, piece of cheese or strawberry milkshake and reach right ahead for the ever-nourishing Beetroot Juice. Go ahead, and see how much your body enjoys it. PROTEIN Protein is widely considered to be of the most vital nutrients. Women need around 46g of it p/day and men need about 56g. With the absence of fats and dietary cholesterol, plant proteins are considerably more beneficially. If you can meet your daily caloric needs with a wholefood, plant-based diet you are likely to meet your recommended daily intake of protein quite easily. CALCIUM While a carton of soy milk might need a hefty shake before pouring (the Calcium collects as sediment on the bottom otherwise), soy milk and cow’s milk are seen to have similar levels of Calcium. Concerning Calcium absorption, eating calcium and mineral-rich foods such as leafy greens, grains and legumes are proven to INCREASE absorption, while calcium inhibitors are more the likes of coffee, chocolate, alcohol and refined sugars. IRON Vitamin C is known to increase Iron absorption considerably, so the next time you dive into those iron-rich beans, lentils, chickpeas, dried fruits, spinach, grains and quinoa (the Incan super-grain) remember to have a decent sip of Orange juice – or the alternative – soon after.

MERCURY Where’s that Mercury in my tuna? Canned tuna, especially white, tends to be high in mercury. Young women and children in particular should limit how much they eat given around 100g or half a can of white tuna will put women of childbearing age over the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) mercury safety limit. VITAMIN B12 Taking a vitamin B12 supplement may be crucial for someone following a plant-based diet. B12 is made by certain bacteria that live in dirt and soil. While it is not that animal product that is directly producing Vitamin B12, the animal which is eating the dirt is therefore holding onto that particular reserve of B12. So, if you don’t choose to supplement your B12 you can get it from eating meat or eating dirt. AMINO-ACIDS While many believe you need to mix vegetables, beans and grains to source all 8 essential amino acids, you can find all 8 in almost every single plant food and it would be a challenge to comprise a list describing otherwise. ANTIOXIDANTS Antioxidants are found in certain foods that considerably neutralise free radicals in our bodies. To avoid degenerative conditions caused by free radicals, a diet high in antioxidants (Vitamin A, C and E as well as copper, zinc and other minerals) is essential. But what are the foods highest in antioxidants? Beetroot, Red Capsicum, Eggplant, Brussel Sprouts and Broccoli, along with Cabbage, Mushroom, Asparagus, Green Capsicum and many other plant foods.


The Book That Changed My Life. Many people have that one book; the one that they go back to time and time again, or the one that was so powerful, they couldn’t stomach reading it more than once. It could have been a book your mum gave you or a book you studied. Or maybe, you haven’t found it yet. But, for those who have, it is an experience worth sharing and so, I have asked some people to tell me; ‘what is the book that changed your life?’. The first of these interviews is with your very own -T.x Magazine editor; Tash Turgoose.

When I was only little, my mum read to me. I was given a book by her which I can remember being with me all through my life. I read this book and it made me long to join the children on their adventures, and to meet the characters that they met in the tree, and lands. They were my escape from the real world and although it sheltered me from certain situations, I’m sure I was just captivated by the fact that they could climb a tree and end up in another land. It was a book from years ago; from my childhood. And the book that I still have two different versions of in the bookshelf next to me. It was The Folk of the Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton

If you have a book that has changed your life; email Natassja Bertram at with your interest.

How to survive.... Your First Year at University. 1. Preparation As dorky as it sounds preparation is the key. Look at your class profiles and look up and write down all of you’re assessment: what you have to do and when by. If they have assignment sheets available maybe print them out as well and file away in a folder somewhere where you will look at it - all the time. Buy your textbooks early. Don’t wait until the third or fourth week to buy them as you actually need to start reading straight up first week if you have any hope of staying on top of things throughout the semester. Also if possible, don’t buy your textbooks in the first week as EVERYONE does then and can lead to sellouts and massive never ending lines. Print out readings and lecture slides as soon as you can. This avoids the last minute rush of printing everything out five minutes before a lecture. Making notes on lecture slides can mean the difference between passing and failing a course. 2. Develop Habits Keep up to date with your readings. If you want to keep doing them throughout the semester it’s best you keep doing them week after week (as boring as that sounds). Usually one weeks readings are the basis for the next (and even what you talk about in tutorials) so it’s best you do them. You don’t want to end up looking like a stunned mullet when the tutor asks you what you think of the readings :).

Set aside a little time for study every day. Apparently you’re supposed to do 10 hours of study on top of what classes you do at uni to stay on top of things with study. That’s like having a full time job with no pay. Instead of this, I recommend you set aside half an hour or an hour a day where you just sit down and get stuff done - whether it be your readings, assignments or extra research. Use your travel time wisely. If you’re like me and have to travel over two hours to get to uni. There’s 4 hours a day where you could be doing assignments or readings on the train. It’s beneficial for two reasons. Firstly it takes your mind off the fact that you have to travel a ridiculous amount of time to study and secondly because you’ve done everything you need to do that day and more, it leaves your time at home free to spend with friends, family and Facebook.

3. Study Space Set a designated study space for yourself. Whether it be a clear and clean kitchen table or a desk in your room, a designated area is as essential to successful study as petrol is to driving a car. Know what you do and don’t like. If you like some music playing, close your door and blast those babies. If you don’t, well don’t do that. Know if you want people talking to you or not because chances are if you get interrupted you’ll get sidetracked. Facebook. Now I know usually every gives you the turn off and log off rule but I think otherwise. If you’re studying for extended periods of time a little break can be helpful to refresh your brain. Most courses you do at uni have Facebook pages of which you can start a group chat or post questions to. Even if they don’t, I’m sure you’ll have at least one or two friends that will be online and can help answer those burning academical questions that have been eating away at your brain. 4. Materials Obviously internet is a must. It can lead to extended periods of wasting time but it can also deliver you brainstorms. Use it wisely.

these materials ready to go from the up and go, otherwise you’ll waste time looking for them, which in turn can lead to more tangents. Laptop. If like me, you do all your study on your laptop, make sure it’s in good working order. Keep checking the charge and the autosave so it can’t just shutdown and you can lose all that work that you’ve been doing for hours on end. Lastly, food. If you like a bit of snacking while your studying keep it beside you so you don’t have to get up and wonder around the house until you finally get to the kitchen. Sometimes it’s good to have sugary treats but if you study regularly it can lead to weight gain, so I advise some fruit or nuts (it should do the trick!). 5. Know Your Limits Don’t over stress. Don’t be one of those people that keep themselves cooped up in their rooms and study for 12 hours straight, it’s just not healthy. Keep your mind and body active by taking a break and going for a run or swim. You’ll take in all this information better that way than overloading your brain and having an emotional breakdown as you enter your exams. !

Pens, pencils, rubbers etc. If you’re handwriting your notes it’s wise to have






...In Sports

March: In Review International Cricket The Australian summer of cricket continued into March with the conclusion of the Commonwealth Bank Series. The series was evenly poised, with Australia and India winning twice, Sri Lanka once, and a tie between the visiting nations. Game 7 saw the Australian batsmen fire, with Michael Hussey top scoring with 59, and Peter Forrest smashing 52 on their way to 5/288 from their allotted overs. The Indians got off to a terrible start, falling to 4-36 after spectacular bowling from Brett Lee and Ben Hilfenhaus. MS Dhoni top-scored for the visitors with a patient 56, but his teammates fell around him, eventually being bowled out for 178. Australia won by 110 runs. Sri Lanka batted first in Game 8, with Lahiru Thirimanne cracking a run-a-ball 62 in his teams challenging total of 6/289.Cheap wickets fell again for India, with Virat Kohli scoring 66 in their unsuccessful run chase. India was bowled out for 238, giving Sri Lanka a 51 run win. Peter Forrest scored his first ODI hundred in Game 9, as Australia batted first in Hobart. Michael Clarke was next best with 72, with David Hussey adding a quick fire 40 to set Sri Lanka 281 to win. Mahela Jayawardene turned on the style, as he smashed 85 to set the platform for the chase. Dinesh Chandimal added 80, as the tourists reached the target with only four balls to spare. Sri Lanka won by 3 wickets. David Warner, Michael Hussey and Matthew Wade all made half centuries in Game 10 as Australia batted first against India. Reaching 9/252, the Australians were restricted by Praveen Kumar, who took 2/37 from his ten overs. In reply, India never got close, being

bowled out for 165 in the 39th over. Australia won by 87 runs. Game 11 will go down as one of the best games of all time. Tillakaratne Dilshan clobbered 160 not out and Kumar Sangakarra added 105 of his own as Sri Lanka set a seemingly impossible target of 321. Virat Kohli established himself as a long time star for the India, as he hit 16 boundaries and two sixes on his way to an unbeaten 133 from only 86 deliveries. His incredible performance got India home in the 36th over, securing a bonus point and a chance at making the Finals Series. India won by 7 wickets. In the final pool game, India needed Australia to bludgeon Sri Lanka in order to make the finals. Sri Lanka batted first, and set an imposing total of 238, led by a 123 run partnership between Sangakarra and Chandimal. In reply, David Hussey and Shane Watson scored 74 and 65 respectively, but a lack of support saw the home side fall short, confirming these teams would meet in the finals. Sri Lanka won by 9 runs. The Finals Series saw three very different games. Australia claimed the first win, as they successfully defended their total of 321. The total was set up by a whirlwind 163 from David Warner, who scored the highest ODI score at the Gabba. Sri Lanka fell 15 runs short, a 104 run partnership between Upul Tharanga and Nuwan Kulasekara the highlight. Australia won by 15 runs. The Second Game saw the tide turn, as Sri Lanka successfully chased down Australia’s total of 272 with eight wickets to spare. David Warner and Michael Clarke both hit centuries in their innings, as they shared a 184 run partnership. A 179 run opening stand helped lay the platform for Sri Lanka, with openers Dilshan and Jayawardene top scoring for the visitors. Sri Lanka won by 8 wickets.

NBL The Third Game saw Wade and Warner score 49 and 48 respectively, as the Australians limped to 231. Some spirited bowling from Clint Mckay helped restrict the Sri Lankans, taking 5/28 to bowl the tourists out for 215, sealing the win. Tharanga posted 71 in the chase, with no other batsmen passing 30 in the unsuccessful chase. Australia won by 16 runs, Australia wins the Tri Series.

Domestic Cricket The Ryobi Cup Final was played between South Australia and Tasmania at the Adelaide Oval, with the South Australians winning their first limited overs competition since the 1986/7 series. The match actually ended in a tie, with Gary Putland bowling the over his life to ensure Tasmania didn’t pass the total, awarding the Redbacks the title due to their finishing first in the competition. Match Tied, South Australia win Ryobi Cup as they finished first. The Sheffield Shield Final saw the Queensland Bulls host the Tasmania Tigers. In a match where the rain lingered, Alister McDermott and James Hopes bowled brilliantly in both innings, restricting the Tigers to low scores. Set 133 to win in the last innings, the Bulls lost 4-0 as they limped home, barely sealing the result within four days. Queensland won by 3 wickets, Queensland win the Sheffield Shield.

A-League In the weeks after last month’s issue, Football Federation Australia revoked Clive Palmers license, effectively ending the Gold Coasts involvement in the Hyundai A-League. In response, Palmer set up Football Australia, an organisational body that would attempt to “oversee” the FFA, and could potentially force another “Super League” situation, which tore Rugby League apart in the late 1990s. Anything could happen so watch this space. Central Coast Mariners are outright leaders, ahead of defending premiers Brisbane Roar, Perth Glory and Wellington Phoenix. With only three fixtures to go until the Finals Series, the Premiers Plate and Sixth place are well up for grabs.

With only one round left until the Finals series, New Zealand Breakers will be Premiers, with a 5-game winning streak cementing their spot atop the ladder. The Perth Wildcats, Gold Coast Blaze, and Townsville Crocodiles round out the top 4, with all teams expected to make the Finals. The Breakers should be odds on to win the comp.

Super Rugby The season has moved into the fourth round, with the Highlanders, Stormers and Reds leading their respective Conferences. Three Australian teams are in the bottom five overall, with much improvement needed if they want to challenge this season. As the competition continues, expect the Crusaders, Sharks and Brumbies to challenge for top spot in their Conferences.

NRL The NRL has kicked off for 2012, with Melbourne quickly cementing their dominance as they defend their title. The Bulldogs have shown they will be contenders under new coach Des Hasler, with classy wins in their first few outings. A lot of teams have provided some ordinary performances in the first few weeks, none moreso than Parramatta. Expect to see the Melbourne Storm kick clear with Manly and the Bulldogs, as the rest of the field battles out the remaining spots. The Sharks could be the dark horse of the competition, with smart recruitment finally giving Cronulla a team that could seriously challenge for the title.

AFL Adelaide Crows Recruitment Manager Matthew Rendell shocked the sporting world when he said that he “wouldn’t consider recruiting indigenous players if they didn’t have at least one white parent”. The comments, which has since seen Rendell quit his role, will have the AFL wondering what talent it has missed out on over the years, as the controversy overshadowed Adelaide’s NAB Pre Season Cup title win. The season proper kicks off this weekend, with all eyes on Greater Western Sydney as they play the Sydney Swans in their debut match at 7:30pm (AEDT) on March 23.

Chocy-Coffee Cupcakes

These cupcakes are 100 per cent dairy and egg free; you don’t even need any fancy, only-found-in-the-health-food-isle substitute ingredients which is perfect if you’re vegan or lactose intolerant friend is coming over. Unfortunately however, if you’re on a diet – they’re not so perfect! But if you’re looking for a little indulgence I completely recommend these super delicious cupcakes. They’re moist and stay that way even after a few days of storage. Using brewed coffee in the batter also adds such a depth and richness to the chocolate-y flavour which the cocoa just could not provide on its own. These bite-sized cakes are best enjoyed warm and fresh from the oven on a slow Sunday afternoon catching up with a good friend. Although the cupcakes themselves are sure to impress your buddies why not kick it up a notch and serve them with a cup of this Moroccan style spiced coffee? The spice of the coffee will nicely compliment the rich chocolate flavour of the cupcakes.


Cooking time: 25-30 minutes Serves:

Ingredients: - 2 ¼ cups of plain flour - ½ cup of cocoa powder - 1 ½ cups of granulated sugar - 1 teaspoon of baking soda - ¼ teaspoon of baking powder - ½ teaspoon of salt - 1 cup of warm, brewed coffee - ½ cup of vegetable oil - 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

Do it: 1. Preheat oven to 180 degrees C. Prepare cupcake trays with cupcake liners (recommended) or by greasing (with a little vegetable oil) and lightly dusting with cocoa powder. 2. In a large bowl, combine the flour, cocoa powder, sugar, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Make sure these are quite well-mixed. 3. In a medium bowl, combine the coffee, oil and vanilla. You won’t be able to get the oil to mix completely with the coffee (it’s science!) but give it a pretty hearty whisking. 4. Then, in one go, add all the wet ingredients to the dry and mix until just combined – keep an eye out for any sneaky flour chunks. 5. Put the batter into the cupcake liners or moulds. You can basically fill them as much as you see fit, but ¾ is the general rule. 6. Bake in the preheated oven for 25-30 minutes or until ready. You can test readiness by inserting a special cake tester (which is essentially a metal skewer) or a thin knife into the centre of one of the cupcakes in the middle of the tray. They are ready if it is clean when you pull it out. 7. Once ready, remove from the oven and leave to cool for about 10 minutes. Or in layman terms, until you can’t wait one more second to try them! Pro tip: Try sprinkling baked cupcakes with vanilla sugar! This recipe was adapted from Joy the Baker’s Simple Vegan Chocolate Cake recipe which can be found at

Soccer-Mad Edward Davies is obsessed with Soccer... or ‘Football’ as he calls it. (Don’t judge him, he’s Scottish). Let’s see what he has to say about March in Soccer.

Hyundai   A-League   Summary Gold Coast United fell to defeat in what was likely their farewell match in the A-League as a last minute goal from Brisbane Roar condemned them to defeat. George Lambaridis curled a peach into the top corner seconds from the end of normal time to give a weakened Roar side all three points.

Daniel Bowles had earlier broken away and smashed a shot past Andy Redmayne to give United a deserved half-time advantage. But substitute Nick Fitzgerald curled in an excellent shot to equalise before Lambaridis’s late stunner.

It was a heartbreaking end to the season for Gold Coast, who now face a seemingly impossible task to stay afloat in Australian football. A decent atmosphere at Skilled Park with the home fans in full voice, coupled with a spirited display from the home side, illustrated that there may be some foundations to give the Gold Coast a chance. Indeed, it was United who started the stronger, frustrating the Roar and disrupting their usual passing rhythm. And they got their just reward in the 28th minute when Daniel Bowles latched onto a long ball and smashed a shot past the helpless Redmayne. The Roar tried to conjure up an immediate response, with winger Henrique seeing plenty of the ball, but United stood strong in defense and held on until half-time. Roar boss Ange Postecoglu switched things around at half-time, bringing on Nick Fitzgerald in place of Kofi Danning. The substitution paid dividends, with Fitzgerald cutting inside onto his favoured right foot and curling a beautiful shot in off the post to level the scores. United tried to respond, and almost retook the lead when substitute Mitch Cooper’s wonderfully taken effort was saved by Redmayne. As the final whistle approached, the Roar continued to press, as Besart Berisha turned the ball over from a few

yards out after excellent footwork from Henrique. But Postecoglu’s men were not to be denied, as the ball broke to substitute Lambaridis, who planted a marvellous strike into the top corner to give his side a boost heading into the finals clash with the Central Coast Mariners next weekend. As for the Gold Coast, who may have now played their last minutes as an ALeague club, it was an all too familiar feeling of so close but so very far when the referee blew for full-time.

Elsewhere in the A-League, Perth Glory put themselves in the mood for the finals with a 4-2 win over the Melbourne Victory. Shane Smeltz became the all-time leading goalscorer in the A-League with all 4 of Perth’s goals. Adelaide United and Melbourne Heart played out a 1-1 draw which secured the Heart’s place in the finals, whilst Sydney also joined them after beating the Newcastle Jets 3-2 to also end the Jets finals chances. It was the Central Coast Mariners, however, who will go into the finals in the best frame of mind, after winning the Premiers Plate with a 2-1 win away at Wellington Phoenix. John Sutton and Bernie Ibini scored the goals for the Mariners, as Graham Arnold’s men geared up to face the Brisbane Roar next week in the best possible fashion.

Sexy,   and   You    Know   It.   

What. *WEAR* When. What to wear in THOSE situations....

For ( Girls.. - S.S.

It is always hard to find an appropriate outfit for certain events; whether it is a hot date, a wild Saturday night out, job interview, university or a shopping trip to the city. I try to find items of clothing that are versatile and can be worn in all different situations. Trends are great but anyone can look fashionable without following every new trend that hits the season runways. I believe it is important to I stick to the basics and buy a few trendy statement pieces. In this month’s issue I will give some ideas on how to minimize your spending’s and still have amazing outfits to wear almost anywhere! Date: Deciding what to wear on a date is always difficult, you want to look sexy but chic. Showing off heaps of skin is a no no, so leave him with something left to imagine and put your clubbing dresses back in the cupboard. The best way to achieve this is a simple LBD (little black dress). There are hundreds of different styles to choose from and black is a color that looks great on anyone!

With something as simple as a black dress it is important to accessorize. I would opt for either wedges or flats and a statement purse. My favorite purses at the moment are the Sportsgirl oversized clutch, they come in many different colors and have a detachable strap! Buy It: Asos has a huge collection of LBDs ranging from $20-$100. Sportsgirl clutch $29.

Saturday Night Out: Saturdays are all about getting dressed up and pulling out your favorite heels for a great night out. You want to feel amazing and wearing the perfect outfit is the biggest confidence boost! I love anything with sequins and embellishments. The most recent Dolce and Gabbana collection in Milan was filled with gold trimmings on black sheer. I find this is a trend that is worth following and sequins are always a great look. If sequins are not your things the LBD can always be worn out with big heels and bright accessories for a dressier look. Buy It: Universal Store sells Backstage blue and bronze sequined mini dresses for $150. Foxx Foe sells the same style for $60. University: University style is very eclectic. The halls are filled with hundreds of girls all with their own unique fashion ideals, making campus fashion flexible. You can practically wear anything to uni with comfort being a must as you are often sitting in lecture theatres for hours on end! My favorite item to wear to university is a maxi skirt. I love how comfortable the style is and the length provides a bit of warmth as we are coming into winter. Team your maxi skirt with a black singlet, crop top or a nit jumper to finish off the look. Buy It: Littlelace (Elizabeth Street Arcade Brisbane or online) sells a great range of maxi and fishtail skirts ranging from $60-

$75. Valley Girl also has a new autumn range out with tan and lace maxi skirts around $40-$50. Day in the City: A trip to the city is always great for fashion inspiration. I love getting a seat at a local coffee shop and eyeing out my fashion must haves! I like to wear something fashionable but easy to take on and off when trying on clothes. As I have said before some trends are worth investing in and my new favorite trend are wallpaper prints. This started with the Versace for H&M collection where printed trousers, bodices and tights took over. I recently bought a pair of black printed flower trousers from Asos. I love wearing them to the city with a plain black singlet and boots. The trouser style is great because they can be dressed up with a plain bodice and heels. Buy It: Asos trousers come in many different prints ranging from $20-$70. Job Interview: For job interviews I always aim to look professional. A good first impression is very important so you want to dress in basic colors and styles. An LBD is perfect to wear with a pair of simple closed in flats. If you do not have an appropriate dress then stick to a black skirt with a crisp white blouse. Less is more in this situation! Buy It: Rubi Shoes has a great collection of simple flats for around $20. If you want a pair of decorated flats then try Mimco, their styles range from $120-$145.

For ( Boys.

It seems to be one of those things that are constantly an inner battle in everyone’s own wardrobe, unless you happen to be a real life Chuck Bass or Nate Archibald (watch Gossip Girl for all those who that reference is massively missed on). But, it’s that question of when is it time to change up your wardrobe? Perhaps you’ve shaped up over the holidays or those New Year’s resolutions are coming into play or you just want to be a bit more dashing on the eye then you already are; all relevant and appropriate reasons!

This is a quick look at 3 basic looks to get you through those important moments in life and the days that are coasting on by; the interview, the first date and the casual days. Btw, I take readers of this to be in your 20-30’s era, any older and I both have to congratulate you on understanding the internet and also a round of applause for keeping up to date with fashion trends. Then again as many of you male readers know we do age rather gracefully compared to our feminine counterparts. Look number one; the interview. Best way to phrase this is always be comfortable in what you wear. You think that because you’ve put on your ‘job interview’ shirt that they’re going to love you? Hardly, they’re going to go for the candidate who best shows not only promise but also that they aren’t going to be a nervous mess.

The suit, the shirt, the tie: essential rule with the suit look, yes guys wear a suit if you’re serious about the job, if you can go for a fitted suit but nothing too flashy. Employers want to look and hear you not be blinded by the metallic shirt or the bright colour of your jacket. My advice dark colours black and navy work well with a simple two tone stripe tie that blends well and is sophisticated, not the Christmas tie you were given by your

grandma... Unless of course you’re actually applying for a job at a local carnival. The shoes: life rule I learnt a long time ago, yes you are judged by what you wear and the thing that sets most people apart isn’t the clothes, it’s the shoes. Go with an elegant shoe to complete the look, you can wear the nicest suit but if you don’t have the shoes to match then your festival volleys just aren’t going to cut it sorry.

Look number two; the first date. Nerves are running high, thoughts are racing, you have no idea what to talk about and you have no idea what to wear to not seem over enthusiastic but you also don’t want to look homeless or like you threw on whatever was on the top of your washing basket. First dates shouldn’t be first impressions, always remember she is on the date with you already. Step 1 complete. Step 2 is to be relaxed, make her laugh and have a good time. So dress the part, show a little bit of yourself and flair it up. Night time dates go with the favourite pair of jeans, shirt wise pair it with an appropriate venue shirt, dinner go collared, dancing go in something that can move. It’s not rocket science. So look the part, feel your best and make it to the second date with your personality and charm.

Look number three; the casual all rounder. The day to day classic look; your signature piece; the material canvas that is your life. Yes, I am a fan of the casual all rounder look and the key to the casual look is... the basics. There are pieces of clothing that should be in every man’s wardrobe regardless of who you are. With T-shirts it’s time to throw out the baggy and go with the fitted, no brands or massive logos as you’re not a billboard for another product, you are the marketing team and billboard for yourself, so sell yourself. Have a mix of colours in a V-neck, pair with your favourite jeans and always have that favourite jacket at the ready. My favourite match this month is a crisp fitted white V-neck with blue jeans and a nice toed shoe. Yes, even in a casual look shoes are important; match them with your ensemble. For me I am rocking the white t-shirt/white Lacoste sneaker look. It’s casual, I feel comfortable and it’s always nice to match.

That’s it for this month fella’s. Send in your pictures of the looks your rocking this month to and we’ll have a readers collage in next month’s issue; great way to style your own self of those with similar interests.

Earth Day Nails I thought, considering Earth Day is coming up on the 22nd of April, it would only be appropriate to have nails supporting the cause.... Here’s how to do them! EED: WHAT YOU N -Black Polish -Blue Polish -Green Polish -White Polish -Red Polish -Clear Polish -Toothpick


First start off with a base coat. Paint your nails white, then leave to dry.

Next, using the toothpick, draw an ‘I’, a heart and a circle using black nail polish. This shouldn’t take too long to dry.

Using the back/flat end of the toothpick, fill in the heart with red nail polish. Whilst waiting for this to dry, you can move on to the next step...

Using the toothpick, and green polish, draw some blotches in the circle. Remember to leave some space uncoloured.

Using the blue polish and a toothpick, fill in the uncoloured parts of your circle to finish up your Earth. When your nails are dry, finish it up with a top coast of clear polish... ...And there you have it! Your nail art design to support the up-coming Earth Day!

-T.x Magazine - IssueTwo - April2012  

The second issue of -T.x Magazine, featuring Bombs Away, DJ Kronic, Dave Lawson and much much more!

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