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Vol. 13 No. 6 | June 2014 | Complimentary

POLITICIAN, BUSINESSMAN, HUSBAND &

DAD

CHRIS ABELE

FIRE

UP THE

HAPPY

FATHER’S DAY

treat dad

GRILL WITH

GIFT GUIDE

STEAKS

Looking Good Feeling Good

THIS SUMMER


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12

JUNE 2014

23

MEN’S HEALTH

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY

Judith Berger

20 AGING WELL

PARENT CARE

special

ADVERTISING SECTIONS LOOKING GOOD FEELING WELL

|9

CAREERS AND FINANCE

Susan Marshall | 14 LIVING WELL

Sue Ann Says | 8 BBB Wedding Tips | 6

How would you like Wisconsin Woman Magazine sent directly to your mailbox? Wouldn’t it be nice if you no longer had to leave your house to track down the latest issue? Now you can. To order your one-year subscription today, send us your name, street address, city, state and zip code along with a check or money order for $20 to:

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Chris Abele

4

GENERATIONS

Parent Care | 20 LIFESTYLE AND HOME

Plus Publications ATTN: Wisconsin Woman Subscription Dept. P.O. Box 230 Hartland, WI 53029

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COVER STORY

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Man’s Perspective | 15 In Fashion | 16 Recipes | 18 Pets | 22 Entertainment | 23

INSIDE Grill Up!

18 June 2014 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 3


JUNE | Cover Story

Milwaukee COUNTY EXECUTIVE

d a D

DAD WITH DAUGHTER LAUREN

BY JUDITH BERGER

C

ounty Executive Chris Abele is many things: a public servant, a business man, a philanthropist, a son, a husband and a father. “I came to fatherhood later than most,” he said of the role he most cherishes. At 47, Abele performs his many responsibilities well, but being Daddy to his three daughters brings him the most joy. He and his wife Miriam are the parents to Lauren, 5, Kate, 2, and 16-month-old Olivia. The role of politician seems most uncomfortable for him. A self-described fiscal conservative and social liberal, Abele ran a bipartisan campaign when he entered politics in 2010. He felt he could bring two sides together to push down the county’s huge debt and increasing deficits. In the hyper-partisan environment, some things were more of an issue than he thought. “There are times I get frustrated with the politics,” he said. “I wish we could work on what we have agreed upon and move on from there.” So why enter the fray? “I’ve never been one to complain about something without trying to do something about it,” Abele said. “When I thought about running for county executive, I asked friends to talk me off the cliff.” Abele was elected Milwaukee’s county executive in a special election in April 2011. His good counsel knew there was something in him that would be well suited for the job. Abele is a Wisconsin transplant. After graduating from Lawrence University in Appleton, the Massachusetts’ native moved to Milwaukee and started a medical waste company with a friend. “I grew to like Milwaukee. One time when I was flying back to the city, I remember looking out of the window feeling like I was coming home.”

4 | WISCONSIN WOMAN June 2014

“I see women’s issues as human issues,” he said. “Women have a great impact on society – it’s no longer an issue of when or by how much. Women are far better lending-risks than men. They earn their degrees at much higher rates than men and they are more likely to vote.” Although Abele’s father, John, didn’t expect his son to enter the successful family business, he did ask him to run the family’s philanthropic organization – The Argosy Foundation. “I told him I would under three conditions: I loved Milwaukee and wanted to move the offices here; I didn’t want to give up my business; and I wanted an arts, education and human rights focus for the foundation,” the younger Abele remembered. He currently serves as a trustee for the foundation. There is great pride in Abele’s voice when he speaks of his father. “He built a company that has 33,000 employees worldwide. He envisions what could be and takes nothing for granted. There is no pretense about him. He taught us not to expect things to change without our effort,” Abele said of his upbringing with his brother and sister. For more than two decades Abele has been a highly successful business owner - he currently runs a growing real estate company, CSA Commercial, and venture fund, CSA Partners. Through CSA Partners, Abele is spending $10 million of his own money to fund investing in early stage, high growth, companies in the Midwest, with particular focus in Wisconsin.


CHRIS ABELE WITH WIFE MIRIAM AND DAUGHTER, KATE.

 In the past 10 years, the majority of Abele’s time has been in non-profit work. Abele’s daughters have given him a sense of urgency to make the world a better place. It is not lost on him that he is so committed to women’s issues. “I see women’s issues as human issues,” he said. “Women have a great impact on society – it’s no longer an issue of when or by how much. Women are far better lending-risk than men. They earn their degrees at much higher rates than men and they are more likely to vote.” Abele walks the talk. He hired the first woman chief of staff in the county’s history. “Not because she’s a woman. It’s because she is the best qualified.” He also instituted a harassment training program for county employees. The county’s mental health care system is another of Abele’s focuses. “It takes a big chunk of the county’s budget. We are the last place that does large institutional care,” he said. As a priority, he has demanded more accountability from staff and management at the Behavioral Health Hospital. He also increased funding for the hospital while dedicating funds to build community-based care. “Most cities do community-base care where patients are close to families - they get better care and it costs less.”

Under Abele’s leadership, the county has taken over operations of the House of Correction. Inmates now earn their GED at a higher rate, and there are new volunteer and women’s programs. “We want the population to come out more job-ready. We want to empower people, reduce recidivism rates and save money.” The county has also increased the amount of child support collected. “We have set a record of people served and partnered in programs that foster fatherhood skills. “Their children have a higher graduation rate and are less likely to have a brush with the law. This all has a direct impact on public safety and the quality of the community we live in.” Abele likes lean government. “Government and public service is honorable, but I don’t like debt.” He has led the county to reform the pension backdrop system that nearly bankrupted Milwaukee County. He also has helped create jobs and a tax base by developing county-owned land that had gone fallow. Abele wants to combine social responsibility and fiscal discipline. He has lowered the county’s deficit by more than $70 million and successfully instituted domestic partnership benefits for employees; at the same time, he has introduced three consecutive budgets that didn’t raise taxes.

“We now have a higher credit rating in the city,” he said. Abele tries to avoid status quo politics, opting to spend his time and effort finding ways to provide and restore important, effective and efficient services to Milwaukee County residents. As Abele navigates the political pitfalls, he also seems to learn something new every day from his daughters. “Right now what I’m learning is most of the lyrics to Frozen,” he said with laugh. “I love my girls. They light up my world. Lauren is like her mother. She likes rules, system and order. She’s really into bugs right now and wants to be an entomologist.” Abele’s daughters have given him a personal stake in the health of the county. Along with his philanthropic work, his volunteer efforts have included serving on and leading numerous local, national and international nonprofit boards. He currently serves on boards at the Boys & Girls Clubs of America, Schools that Can-Milwaukee, and the Carr Center for Human Rights Policy at Harvard University. He has received numerous awards for his effective leadership and speaks regularly on leadership, philanthropy and nonprofit best practices. The Abeles live in Milwaukee County. l June 2014 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 5


The Wisconsin

Y

BBB

Offers tips to assist you with your Wedding Planning

our big day is approaching. This may be one of the most expensive occasions you will ever plan, so, the very first thing you need to do is put together a wedding budget plan. Experienced companies with a proven track record are more likely to meet your expectations.

When purchasing a dress online be sure to: • Read all of the terms and conditions. • Find out the return policy for the online purchase. • Hire a reputable business for alterations and make sure they have enough time to complete their work.

Research companies are online through independent resources. National and local company business reviews are available through BBB.ORG, and they will include verified information. Ask your friends and family who they would recommend. Remember that local businesses depend on local referrals and you are very likely to deal directly with the owner. And, these local businesses can also recommend other excellent wedding vendors. The following checklist may help prevent problems before, during and after your wedding day.

Some caterers, hotels and halls charge extra for cake cutting, corkage fees, champagne toasts, and additional or special menu items. Ask the following: • Are there additional fees for colored linens, dinnerware, chair covers, etc., at the hall or hotel? • Is there a fee per person (different for 50 or 250 guests), room rental, and additional gratuities? • Can you sample your dinner menu and wedding cake before ordering?

Dresses

When purchasing from a local store: • Obtain a specific delivery date for your gown and bridesmaid dresses. • Verify if the cost of the dresses includes the alterations. • Make sure there is enough time allotted for any alterations. • Call your bridal shop prior to your agreed upon delivery date, and make sure they are on track.

Venues and Caterers

Musicians and DJ’s

Never rely completely on a website, demo tape or phone conversation. It’s best if you attend live performances of the band or DJ at one or more of their events. Confirm these points in writing: • Names of the musicians who will be performing. • Length of time they will be performing or playing music and the cost if you want to extend their time. • What song lists are included?

Photographers

When hiring a photographer, here are some things to consider: • Review photographs from the photographer’s portfolio. • Will the photographer you meet with be the same on your wedding day or do they have the option to send a replacement? • Will you be able to choose and also have access to your photos? • Are you purchasing the rights to the photos or the actual photos, DVD or CD? • Get a completion date in writing for your photos. • Does the final price include all the photos, an album and the proofs? Other businesses you should include in your research include jewelers, limousine companies, salons and florists.

Final Thoughts

• Make sure you obtain a written contract for EVERY THING and read them very carefully prior to signing. • Contracts should state exactly what is included in the price. • Vendor policies should be clear, in writing and have a cancellation, change or refund policy. • NEVER pay in full for any service prior to receiving it. • Pay for everything that you can with a credit card. This allows you some recourse to get your money back . • Confirm all your vendors and businesses at least two weeks prior to your event. We want your special day to be as perfect as possible, so don’t forget to check out the vendors you choose at BBB.org/ Wisconsin. Best wishes from your Wisconsin BBB. Facebook “f ” Logo

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Precision cancer treatment is changing the way we fight lung cancer When Kathy came to us, she had stage 4 lung cancer and was struggling with shortness of breath. Today, one year later, she’s enjoying an excellent quality of life and more time with her family— with the help of the precision medicine we’re using at Cancer Treatment Centers of America® in suburban Chicago. With advanced genomic testing, our physicians are able to identify abnormalities in a patient’s tumor. This helps reveal therapies to target their cancer and tailor the treatment options.

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No case is typical. You should not expect to experience these results.


LIVING WELL | Sue Ann Says

Menopause? Don’t Stress. There is Help!

T

he meeting was in full swing when unexpectedly my heart started to beat faster. “Did I drink too much coffee this morning?” But all of a sudden I could feel the heat rush through my body. I quickly peeled off my jacket. “Hot Flash!” my mind screamed. I reached for a piece of paper to fan my red face and continued discussing the day’s agenda. Luckily, the hot flash was short. Menopause can be a difficult time in some women’s lives because of the symptoms they have, while others may have few problems. I want to pass on reliable facts to you on menopause symptoms and estrogen therapy.

What is Menopause? As you come to the end of your reproductive years, your ovaries will stop releasing an egg each month. Your menstrual cycle will end and your estrogen hormone level will decrease. After you have gone a whole year without a menstrual period, you are considered to be in menopause. This usually occurs between the ages of 45 and 50.

How Do I Know I’m Going Through Menopause? Your doctor could give you a blood test to check your hormones, but more than likely the first sign of menopause will be irregular periods. Insomnia, mood swings, fatigue and anxiety can also be signs that you are heading toward menopause. Perimenopause is the term for the time period

that a woman goes through right before menopause. Since all of our bodies are different, don’t expect the exact same symptoms as your best friend. Some other symptoms of perimenopause are “brain fog,” weight gain, thinning of hair, and even heart palpitations and breast tenderness.

Women’s Most Common Symptoms During Menopause

Hot Flashes

Hot flashes can be very concerning and frustrating. One minute your body feels fine and suddenly a warm feeling rushes over your body. Your face flushes and you perspire. This feeling may last a few seconds to several minutes. When you have a hot flash at night, it is called a night sweat. While tucked into your cozy bed you may end up sweating and wake up soaking wet. Believe me, this is very uncomfortable.

Insomnia

Your body tries to maintain the normal balance of chemicals flowing through your body. With the fluctuation of your hormones during menopause, hot flashes and night sweats accompanied with your daily stress can steal hours of shut eye. In order to stay healthy, you need enough sleep, 6-8 hours are recommended.

Osteoporosis (Brittle-Bone Disease)

With the decline in estrogen levels, your bones become less dense, making it easier for a bone to fracture. Women may lose an average of 25 percent of their bone mass during menopause. Estrogen therapy can be used to treat brittle bones. Calcium and Vitamin D supplements may be recommended by your doctor.

Estrogen: Can It Help the Symptoms?

Kimberly J. Miller, MD (Clinical Associate Professor and General Obstetrics) from the UW–Madison School of Medicine provided her knowledge about estrogen and menopause. “Hot flashes are the symptoms that can be most reliably cured with estrogen. The dose needed varies with the woman. It is usual to start with a 0.45 or 0.625 mg dose and then increase the dosage if hot flashes continue. Medical conditions play a big role in the decision as to whether a woman would be willing to take estrogen or if a doctor will prescribe it. A woman at risk for forming blood clots or at risk for breast cancer would probably not be a good candidate for hormone replacement therapy.” Estrogen may be given as an oral pill or with a transdermal patch. “Topical estrogen in low doses is felt to be safer than the oral pills or the transdermal patches. The dose is very low and does not increase the blood levels appreciably if taken as recommended. There is estrogen cream, a ring and estrogen suppositories. These medications help with the dryness symptoms,” said Dr. Miller. SAS continued on page 17 8 | WISCONSIN WOMAN June 2014


d o o G g Lookin Feeling Good

THIS SUMMER

Body-

Sundara Inn & Spa

Summer Skincare Tips

As the seasons change our skin changes too. After a harsh winter ,it is always a good idea to rid yourself of dry skin. A good professional exfoliation is a really important way to maintain that healthy glow. Our Advanced Resurfacing Stem Cell Facial by HydroPeptide is an amazing choice. With its manual and light peel exfoliation, this facial is effective on all skin types. With take home products HydroPeptide can help you maintain that healthy glow all year round, too. Our Season’s Freshest Body Wrap uses the freshest ingredients each season has to offer. This hydrating service offers a full body exfoliation, mask and hydration. Without a good exfoliation your skin is not able to fully absorb moisturizers. Do yourself a favor and quench your body from head to toe with these seasonal services. As always, don’t forget to protect your skin. Using a sunscreen daily will help keep you looking young and protect your skin from harmful uva and uvb rays. With several options for sun protection, we will help you stay safe and gorgeous out there this summer.

The Summer of Your Dreams is waiting for you.

Summer Massages

For summer massages, a guest favorite at Sundara is our Seasonal Body Polish & Massage. It’s a skin-smoothing and nourishing body polish and massage (ideal for those who can’t decide between a body treatment and a massage). First, dull skin is polished. Then, enjoy a full body massage using a vitamin-rich moisturizer for maximum hydration. Skin is left looking and feeling silky smooth. And the products change with the season so they are always fresh and have a powerful ability to heal. This is the perfect treatment to repair trouble spots and relieve achy muscles at the same time. Plus, it’s sure to get skin looking good for that summer wardrobe. Another favorite is our new Emerald Isle Massage. It’s invigorating and detoxifying and we use naturally healing, organic hand-harvested seaweed compresses for deep penetration and nutrient-rich seaweed oil for a soothing therapeutic massage. It’s a full body voyage! For tired feet and legs, we suggest our Peppermint Pedissage. First a warm wrap is placed around your shoulders and as you sink down into luxurious down pillows, your feet and ankles are massaged with a peppermint-infused massage creme. It’s pure bliss! Lastly, for those of us who tend to carry tension in the upper body (who doesn’t, right?), our signature Champissage focuses on just that. This treatment releases stress by working on the back, neck, shoulders, face and scalp. We can feel the tension melting away already!

Visit us online at SundaraSpa.com to learn about our summer seasonal spa services and to plan the summer getaway of your dreams. spacious suites, soothing spa services, chef-prepared cuisine, heated outdoor infinity pool, championship golf, tranquility garden

®

888.735.8181 sundaraspa.com It’s all waiting for you this Spring at the sanctuary at Sundara Inn & Spa.

June 2014 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 9


Feeling Good d o o G g n Looki THIS SUMMER Eyes-

Dr. Massaro

“Drooping Eyelids?� What’s Up with That? Like most people in their early fifties, eyelids, as part of your genetics and normal aging, begin to look more tired and may sag. This process continues slowly year by year. While some aging changes of eyelid tissues can be helped by spa treatments, BotoxŽ, and creams, most significant changes are only improved by minor surgical remedies. A truly drooping upper eyelid level or over the eye itself is NEVER helped by BotoxŽ. Eye Plastic Surgeons, such as myself, deal with drooping, baggy, saggy, tired looking eyes with surgical remedies every day. It’s what we do. All eyelid surgeries are brief outpatient surgeries with some social hideout time - normally a week or two. Insurance coverage is getting increasingly rare, restricted to only the most advanced visually obstructing eyelid changes. What’s best for you would only be determined by a brief consultation and exam.

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Skin Care-TLC Laser & Skincare Center Do you want to look as young as Sharon Stone at age 56? If so, there are a few things you can do to help slow the aging process. First, eat fresh and organic foods whenever possible. Second, get 7-8 hours of sleep per night. Third, exercise daily for at least 30 minutes changing your routine frequently. Fourth, wear medical grade sunscreen daily with a minimum SPF of 30. Lastly, schedule at least two IPL treatments per year. IPL or Photo Facial is designed to treat sun damage, rosacea, facial veins, large pores and other blemishes by emitting a laser light beam through the skin’s surface. While IPL lifts unwanted pigment to the surface of the skin which then flakes off in 7-10 days, it also stimulates collagen production which, in turn, minimizes fine lines and wrinkles. Most patients notice that makeup application is flawless and their skin is extremely soft and supple.

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Feeling Good d o o G Looking THIS SUMMER Dental- Dr. Ahmad Eslami

I have to have an implant on my front tooth. What is the down time? What do you put there to fill the hole in the meantime? Of course, the answer is that the patient will never leave our office with a “hole” in the front of his/her mouth. There are 4 options (we have named them as temporary 1, 2, 3 or 4) that can be used to ensure the space is “filled”. The options depend on the circumstances (how much bone is available, bone density, initial stability of the implant, functional habit of the patient and the way the teeth come together which is different in every patient) and patient’s preference (price point. Because each temporary is made differently and price increases as the complexity of the temporary increases. Temporary 1 is the least expensive). Of course, all temporaries will do the job of providing a natural looking tooth in the spot of the missing tooth and gives the patient the confidence in their social interaction in the public.

June 2014 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 11


LIVING WELL | Men’s Health

AN ASPIRIN

A DAY?

The Answer is Different for Men and Women BY CAROLYN M. CLANCY, M.D.

T

hroughout the ages, the differences between men and women have been the subject of plays, movies, and books. Shakespeare poked fun at the topic. And, more recently, books with titles like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus explore the different ways that men and women communicate. When it comes to health, there are also differences in what’s best for men and women. Understanding these differences makes it easier for you to take the right steps to stay healthy. Although some differences between men and women are obvious, others are not. Men are one and one-half times more likely than women to die from heart disease, cancer, and chronic lower respiratory diseases. Women are twice as likely as men to develop depression. They are also more likely to be obese or have migraines. Women, especially women over 50, are more likely to suffer from osteoporosis than men.

Join us for the 2014 Women in Science Lecture Series!

Showcasing the achievements of local female physicians and scientists.

Specializing in Men’s Health/Sexual Medicine Including: • Vasectomies and Vasectomy Reversals • Erectile Dysfunction • Peyronie’s Disease • Male and Female Urology

Female physicians and scientists at the Medical College Dr. Christina Wichman of Wisconsin are making discoveries that save lives and improve treatments for patients with complex injuries and diseases. Women in Science membership gives you access to these distinguished women and their exciting and innovative medical research. Come to network and be inspired!

Women’s Mental Health Across the Lifespan Christina L. Wichman, DO, FAPM

Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine, Medical College of Wisconsin Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Registration and social time - 11:30 a.m. • Luncheon and presentation - noon – 1:30 p.m. Woman’s Club of Wisconsin • 813 East Kilbourn Avenue, Milwaukee Free valet parking

Women face several gender-specific psychiatric disorders and struggle with depression and anxiety at higher prevalence rates than men. Dr. Wichman will give an exciting overview of women’s mental health across the lifespan, including premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMS/PMDD), psychiatric disorders in pregnancy, postpartum depression and the relationship between depression and menopause.

Call 414-955-4717 for registration information or visit www.mcwedu/womeninscience

12 | WISCONSIN WOMAN June 2014


My agency, the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ), supports work to improve the quality and appropriateness of preventive care and treatment for men and women. For example, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force Link to Exit Disclaimer recently issued separate recommendations for men and women on taking aspirin to prevent cardiovascular disease. The Task Force is a leading independent panel of experts in prevention and primary care. Doctors across the Nation use Task Force recommendations to talk with their patients about the preventive services that are right for them. The new Task Force recommendations are based on

IF YOU’RE A MAN WHO IS 45 TO 79 YEARS OLD, YOU SHOULD TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR TO DETERMINE WHETHER THE BENEFITS OF TAKING ASPIRIN TO PREVENT A HEART ATTACK OUTWEIGH THE POTENTIAL HARMS.

If you’re a woman who is 55 to 79 years old, you should talk to your doctor to determine whether the benefits of taking aspirin to prevent a stroke outweigh the potential harms. Why are these recommendations important? Because they help you and your clinician make informed decisions about what you can do to stay healthy. It’s important for men and women to ask questions about their risks for heart attack and stroke. Understanding more about your risk for cardiovascular disease can help you take steps to reduce your risk and possibly prevent heart problems or stroke. AHRQ has created separate checklists for men and for women that highlight which preventive services they should get and when they should get them, based on the Task Force’s recommendations. You can also find Task Force recommendations on a terrific online tool called myhealthfinder that AHRQ and the Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion developed specifically for consumers. l

recent research indicating that the value of taking aspirin differs for men and women. For men, the benefit of taking aspirin is that it lowers the risk of heart attack. For women, it lowers the risk of stroke. The Task Force also looked at recent evidence on the potential harms that taking aspirin can cause, like bleeding in the stomach. These risks vary for men and women, are different at different ages, and depend on other factors, such as use of other medications. Taking into account the potential benefits and harms, the Task Force recommends Link to Exit Disclaimer the following: If you’re a man who is 45 to 79 years old, you should talk to your doctor to determine whether the benefits of taking aspirin to prevent a heart attack outweigh the potential harms. June 2014 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 13


CAREERS | Building Stronger Women

HOW TO BE TAKEN

SERIOUSLY (An excerpt from Susan A. Marshall’s new book “Of Beauty and Substance: A Backbone Guide for Women” scheduled for release this summer.) It’s a funny thing about life: the harder you work to make people take you seriously, the more they look at you like you’re nuts. Or like you have a problem they really don’t want to know about.

W

hen you are intent on having others take you seriously, you can be trapped into thinking you’re more important than another. Or smarter. Or more accomplished or entitled. Or whatever. Of course the flip side is true as well. You can get so caught up in what others think of you that you lose sight of your accomplishments. One of the surest ways to be taken seriously is to speak well, make your point, and stop talking. This can be devilishly difficult! Women are talkers. We tend to think out loud and sometimes need to verbalize what is on our minds before we reach a conclusion about what we mean. Figuring out what you want to say often gets buried under assumptions about what you’re supposed to say, what others expect you to say, or what is appropriate to say. If you ever wanted to bring up the elephant in the room—a subject everyone knows and refuses to talk about—you know exactly what I mean. It takes a brave soul to approach certain topics. Another aspect of this difficulty lies in the fact that most of us have been trained to speak from our roles rather than from our hearts and minds. Consider the way you meet new peo-

14 | WISCONSIN WOMAN June 2014

ple. When asked to share something about yourself, you’ll typically talk about your role at work, home, school or in the community. “I’m a new mom.” “I am vice president of business development.” “I teach third grade.” “I train dogs.” While this may be interesting information, it doesn’t really tell anyone who you are. This tendency to speak in approved ways can be comforting, but when you live too long on a superficial plane, you lose the ability to know what you truly mean to say. Ergo, the tendency to babble. If you are presenting evidence to support a point of view or bolster a request, start by stating your point of view or request succinctly and with clarity. Offer headlines that support your position and be prepared to add fuller text as part of the discussion. But wait, you say. Laying your cards on the table can feel like you are handing power to the other person. Negotiating experts tell you that’s folly. But we’re not talking about adversarial power struggles here. We’re talking about having the courage to say what you mean in a way that is understood. If you mean to let someone know their words or actions have rubbed you the wrong way, be clear in your own mind what the words or actions were

and why you found them offensive. On a crabby day, you might be irritated by a particular tone of voice that you would not so much as notice on a happy day. When you react to this tone of voice one day but not another, you confuse the person whose tone is sometimes objectionable. This lack of consistency is another reason why women are not taken seriously. When you have said what you mean to say, stop talking. Give people time to digest what you have presented. This, too, can feel risky. When you are passionate about getting a particular answer, you may be tempted to make your point in several different ways. Resist the urge. Think of the little kid at the grocery store who tries to convince his mom to buy his favorite ice cream sandwiches. The kid doesn’t shut up! A lot of those kids are now adults with no greater skill at being quiet. Don’t be that kid. In order to be taken seriously any time you have something to say, follow these simple suggestions: Think about your message. Pick the words that best convey it, remembering your audience. Say what you mean. Stop talking. Give the other person time to respond. I guarantee your status as a person to be listened to will rise appreciably. Your confidence in speaking your mind will grow as well. l •

••• Susan Marshall is an author and speaker whose book, “How to Grow a Backbone: 10 Strategies for Gaining Power and Influence at Work,” has been translated into multiple languages and is especially popular in Asia. Her work is dedicated to building strong leaders who create successful organizations, transform school systems, and develop leaders at all levels. You can reach her at (262) 567-5983 or susan@backboneinstitute.com

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LIFESTYLE | A Man’s Perspective

The Evolution of Our

CHILDREN

T

hese are exciting time in the Johnson household. We typically have a big birthday party for all of our kids in the summer – three were born in May and one in August. Our wedding anniversary was at the end of April and this year we have two graduations. Morgan will be graduating from Marquette and has already secured her first full-time job, and we are quite proud of her. Maddie is graduating high school and is off to UW-La Crosse this fall. I have to admit, I was filled with pride when Morgan handed me her business card. It seems like just yesterday she was a little girl all dressed up and playing with her dolls. Now, she is a proud participant in the Milwaukee non-profit business community. Like Morgan, Maddie is a NHS (National Honors Society) student and, while we toured a lot of different potential colleges for her, the choice she made is a good one for her based upon her personality and study habits. Her professors will get to know her well because if she does not understand something, she will persist until she knows the material. Our son, Mason, will likely be traveling abroad next year; but that’s a great reason for Maria and I to visit Europe, see the sites and keep in touch with him. That leaves our youngest still at home. While we love watching all of our kids grow and become responsible young adults, we still miss them terribly when they are not at home. Maria still loves when all the kids are sleeping under our roof the same night. However, as a friend told me, letting your children go is such a hard part of life, even though we have been preparing them for that day since they were born.

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Along the way we have had ups and downs, but it’s all worked out the way it is supposed to, and for that we are very grateful. It is still nice, however, when they act like they do not know everything and seek out our advice. Morgan just bought her first car, and guess what? Mom and Dad still know a thing or two. So, with that said, we still have a nice party to prepare for come this summer, along with the graduations and love and support to help our kids make the next phase of their lives as easy as possible. l

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LIFESTYLE | In Fashion

Oh,

SUMMER,

WHERE ART THOU?

Wisconsin summers are notoriously short. And, in my opinion, summer wardrobes are more difficult to build and maintain than fall and winter. (After all, a cashmere sweater always fits the bill in winter!) In summer, things are shorter, tighter, sheerer! For some, that’s good news; others of us, not so much! There’s more color and pattern, so combining outfits can be a challenge.

My advice is to Keep It Simple! How about TEN EASY PIECES that will meet any and every fashion occasion for the entire summer?

A go-to dress - suitable for luncheons, etc. Always be on the lookout for The Perfect Dress - when you find it, buy it, even if you have no occasion on the horizon. Chances are you’ll need it next week

A pair of shorts - as short or as long as you

are comfortable in.

A tote bag - if it can double as a beach bag, you are a genius.

Maxi dress or skirt

- you’re on-trend and you never have to ask the question, “Is this dress too short for me?”

Patio pants - easy, breezy. Again, you’re on-trend, and the only thing more comfortable are your pajamas. White tee - I don’t have to explain this, do I? But, make sure you buy new white tee(s) every season as they don’t survive a season of regular laundering. A tank - even if you don’t like to show your arms,

there will come a day (or hopefully a week) where it’s just too darn hot for anything else.

A denim jacket - this is your summer blazer, and it works over everything else on this list. Not a denim fan? A cropped cardigan works just as well. A cashmere wrap - the nights get cool – whether you’re sitting on the dock or in a restaurant. Black capris - wear with flip-flops or sandals for REALLY CASUAL; wear with ballet flats for CASUAL ELEGANCE; wear with pumps* for ALL DRESSED UP. 16 | WISCONSIN WOMAN June 2014

A colorful tunic OK – this makes #11. But, it’s fun and easy…it covers your butt…and you don’t have it in your closet! You can totally transform the looks of these pieces with jewelry. Pile it on. Mix your metals. Wear your good stuff with that $39 statement necklace. Oh, and don’t forget to grab a scarf as you head out the door! *I suggest pairing down your shoe choices, too. Sandals, ballet flats, and a pair of pumps will take you everywhere and anywhere. Some of us like shopping and feel more comfortable with a lot of clothes and a lot of choices each morning. But, if you’re trying to KISALB (Keep It Simple And Look Beautiful), it’s really very, very easy. l Yours in fashion, Faye Wetzel Founder/Owner Faye’s Boutiques Mequon and Brookfield www.fayes123.com


SAS continued from page 8

Lifestyle Changes: Can They Help the Symptoms?

Lifestyle changes may alleviate menopause symptoms. “Exercise has been thought to be helpful. Again, it won’t be as helpful as estrogen. But exercise has tons of other health benefits and is certainly worth trying. There is some thought that hot beverages and spicy food can be triggers for hot flashes and so avoiding triggers may be helpful,” advised Dr. Miller. Other suggestions include wearing layers of clothes that you can add or remove as needed. Wearing loose clothing instead of tight fitting, as tight clothes will make you even more uncomfortable during the hot flash. Whether you breeze through menopause or find yourself struggling with symptoms, remember that your health care provider will help you make the right choices for your body and your optimum health. l Because it all begins with a healthy woman… Sue Ann Thompson is founder and president of the Wisconsin Women’s Health Foundation (WWHF), a statewide non-profit organization whose mission is to help Wisconsin women and their families reach their healthiest potential. WWHF provides programs and conducts forums that focus on education, prevention, and early detection; connects individuals to health resources; produces and distributes the most upto-date health education and resource materials; and, awards grants and scholarships to women health researchers and related community non-profits. To learn more, visit wwhf.org or call 1-800-448-5148.

June 2014 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 17


AT HOME | Recipes

Q

Up Grill

AN INCREDIBLE STEAK

uite possibly the ultimate steak, the T-bone embodies the rich blend of varied beef flavors that steak lovers crave, from tender and mild to bold and beefy. On one side of the T-bone is the filet mignon. French for “dainty fillet,” the filet mignon is considered the most tender cut, with a mild beef flavor. On the other side of the T-bone is the strip loin or New York strip, a firm, robust steak that is naturally marbled and offers a bold taste. The bone itself also provides additional flavor in the cooking process. With this pairing of tastes, it is no surprise that the T-bone is considered to be “the best of both worlds” by steak connoisseurs.

ROASTED PEPPER PESTO Makes: approximately 2 cups

1 cup roasted red peppers, peeled, seeded and chopped 1/4 cup garlic cloves, peeled 1/2 cup pine nuts, toasted 2 tablespoons fresh basil, chopped 1 teaspoon kosher salt

18 | WISCONSIN WOMAN June 2014

ROASTED PEPPER PESTO RUBBED GRILLED T-BONES Prep time: 30 minutes | Cook time: 15 minutes | Serves: 4

4 T-bone steaks 2 tablespoons olive oil 1/4 cup Private Reserve Seasoning, or salt and pepper 1 recipe Roasted Pepper Pesto (see recipe below) 4 fresh basil sprigs

Preheat grill to medium. Brush steaks with olive oil and season with season­ing, or salt and pepper. Brush both sides of steaks with Roasted Pepper Pesto. Place steaks on grill and cook to desired doneness. (For a medium-rare steak about 8 minutes on first side and 6 to 7 minutes on second side.) When steaks are finished, brush both sides one final time with pesto. Serve steaks with dollop of unused pesto in center of each and garnish with fresh basil sprig.

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper 1 cup Parmesan cheese, grated 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1/2 cup olive oil

Combine all ingredients except olive oil in food processor or blender, and puree until smooth. Next, add oil slowly in food processor until com­pletely combined.


TEN TIPS FOR PERFECT

Grilling 1. Clean and preheat your grill on high.

2. Lightly oil everything before you put it on the grill. This helps the searing process and prevents sticking. 3. Season your food before grilling. 4. Sear the outside of steaks when grilling. This really helps with the flavor and juiciness. 5. Use tongs or a spatula to turn your meat on the grill. Using a fork can damage the meat. 6. Cover your grill as much as possible during the grilling process. This helps to lock in the grilled flavor and will help prevent flare-ups. 7. Keep a spray bottle with water handy to douse any unexpected flare-ups. 8. Use the 60/40 grilling method. Grill for 60 percent of the time on the first side, then grill 40 percent of the time after you turn over the food. This will give you an evenly cooked product. 9. Place your cooked product on a clean plate. Never place cooked product on the plate you used to transport the raw product to the grill without thoroughly washing it first. 10. Allow your foods to “rest” for 5 minutes between cooking and eating. This will help them retain moisture when you cut into them.

ANCHO CHILE RUBBED GRILLED T-BONES

Prep time: 5 minutes | Cook time: 10 minutes | Serves: 4

4 T-bone steaks 2 tablespoons olive oil 4 tablespoons Ancho Chile Rub (see recipe below) 12 grilled tri-color sweet baby peppers

Preheat grill to medium. Thaw and blot dry steaks. Brush steaks with olive oil. Generously cover both sides of steaks with Ancho Chile Rub by dipping them in rub. Continue until steaks are com­pletely covered. Place steaks on heated grill and grill to desired done­ness. (For a medium-rare steak, grill approximately 8 minutes on first side and 6 to 7 minutes on second side.) Remove steaks from grill and garnish with grilled tri-colored sweet baby peppers.

ANCHO CHILE RUB Makes: 4 tablespoons

1 tablespoon smoked paprika 2 teaspoons sea salt 2 tablespoons ancho chile powder 1 teaspoon brown sugar Combine all ingredients and mix well.

THICK STEAK, BONE-IN STEAK AND CHOP COOKING CHART

Cooking times are in minutes and based on fully-thawed steaks. Gas grill: Preheat grill to high, reduce to medium heat prior to cooking. Charcoal grill: Sear over red hot coals, finish over indirect heat. THICKNESS

1”

1 1/4”

1 1/2”

1 3/4”

2”

2 1/4”

2 1/2”

Rare 120° to 130°F

First Side After Turning

6 3–4

6 4–5

7 5–6

9 6–7

11 7–8

13 8–9

14 10–12

Medium Rare 130° to 140°F

First Side After Turning

6 4–5

7 5–6

8 6–7

11 8–9

13 9–10

14 10–12

16 12–14

Medium 140° to 150°F

First Side After Turning

7 5–6

8 6–7

9 7–8

12 9–10

14 11–12

16 12–14

17 14–16

Well Done 160° to 170°F

First Side After Turning

9 7–8

10 8–9

12 9–11

14 12–14

18 14–16

19 16–18

20 21–23

June 2014 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 19


GENERATIONS | Parent Care

The Key to

Living Long & Aging Well

I

BY: DR. DAVID LIPSCHITZ

recently received a frantic call from a baby boomer who had moved in with her father who had memory loss and was unable to live alone. Her mother had just been admitted to the hospital with cancer. Her father was becoming very agitated, and she was concerned that he may need to be in a nursing home. And what was she to do with her mother? Many of us are facing similar dilemmas as our parents approach their 80s and beyond. Simultaneously, those aches and pains we are beginning to feel, those minor heart attacks and stories of friends with serious illnesses are daily reminders that we are not getting any younger. Yes, we the baby boomers are concerned about aging, and rightly so. Are memory loss, frailty and dependency inevitable? Will we have the needed financial resources? Will our health care system be able to cope with the aging baby boom generation?

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These possibilities are truly frightening, but the future is much rosier than we think. Half the over-85 demographic is independent, remains sharp as a tack and enjoys life to the fullest. My mother has moved in with her 94-year-old boyfriend, and my friend’s 80-year-old mother just gave up riding her Harley. We can be like this, provided we pay close attention to our health. Those negative stereotypes of aging could not be further from the truth.

terol does not increase, your high blood pressure is treated, and that annual screening for cancer becomes routine. Many of us have elevated levels of the amino acid homocysteine that is an important risk factor for heart disease and that can be readily lowered by taking a daily folic acid supplement. A baby aspirin tablet a day is a must after age 50. Stay calm and tranquil and, no matter your age, engage fully in life. For men, staying in a loving, intimate marriage prolongs life by 10 years, and married women live four years longer than single women. Spirituality and faith are strong predictors of good health. And finally, self-esteem is critical for lifelong health. The better you feel about yourself the better the future. We complain about our weight, the wrinkles that line our faces and our broadening waists. We must recognize the inner and outer beauty in all of us. It is for this reason that I recommend to all of you that you follow my most important rule — wake up in the morning, look in a full-length mirror, and tell yourself with true enthusiasm that you are indeed gorgeous. l

Because exercise is so unpopular, current recommendations suggest that all we need is a little exercise to stay healthy. A half-hour a day, even in 10-minute segments, is better than no exercise. And some of the rules of successful aging are not what you think. Believe it or not, there is compelling evidence that weight has little to do with health and longevity. Pleasantly plump people live longer and better than those who are excessively thin. Throw out those expensive diet books and avoid high-fat, high-carb, grapefruit or other fad diets that are doomed to failure. Eat sensibly and right for a long and healthy life. Losing and gaining weight is far more dangerous than having a constant weight. Because exercise is so unpopular, current recommendations suggest that all we need is a little exercise to stay healthy. A half-hour a day, even in 10-minute segments, is better than no exercise. But the goal must be to do as much rather than as little as possible. Walk at least 10 miles a week but preferably more. Get your heart rate up. The benefits are huge. And also consider exercising with weights that build muscle and prevent osteoporosis. Strength will increase, as will gait and balance. Even in the very old, weight training prevents frailty and reduces fall risk by 80 percent or more. It is far better to be fat and fit than thin and sedentary. Forget those treadmill stress tests that are done almost annually for no good reason. But do make sure your choles-

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Dr. David Lipschitz is the author of the book “Breaking the Rules of Aging.”

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PETS | Dog Talk

CANINE

COMPANIONSHIP: The Pros and the Other Pros

I

spend a lot of time talking about the problem behaviors -- and their fixes -- that sometimes surface in the shared lives of dogs and humans. I’m a dog trainer; it’s what I

do.

But while problems come and go -- especially when they’re properly addressed -- the good stuff that comes from shacking up with a dog can last as long as the relationship itself. Young to old, single to full house, without respect to race, gender or religion, dogs across the board simply make life better. But don’t take my word for it. Just follow the science. A study published in the August 2012 edition of Pediatrics found that infants who live “with dogs at home had fewer respiratory symptoms or infections and less frequent ear infections. The babies also needed fewer courses of antibiotics than other babies.” Turns out that dirty dog may be just what the doctor ordered. Dr. Mary Tobin, director of the allergy division of Rush University Medical Center, said, “It’s kind of exposing the immune system at an early age to all kinds of proteins the dogs would be exposed to in the environment, which somehow leads to a tolerance of the

{

environment versus being more allergic to it.” Even as the commercial anti-bacterial crusade grows stronger, the truth is that there is such a thing as too much sanitation -- and dogs may be the natural antidote. But it isn’t just babies who benefit. In 1980, Dr. Erika Friedmann conducted a study of coronary patients that determined that “pet owners were more likely to be alive one year after discharge from a coronary care unit than non-owners.” And there are countless medical studies that link the companionship of animals -- particularly dogs -- to the improved health and longevity of humans: lower blood pressure and cholesterol, decreased levels of depression and anxiety, better physical fitness and more laughter. Yes, laughter. An experiment by Robin Maria Valeri on laughter in relation to humans and the animals in their lives concluded that people who live with dogs laugh more than both people who live with cats and people who live with neither. In encouraging further exploration of the connection between dogs and laughter, Valeri writes, “Dogs are also reported to laugh and to use laughter to elicit play behavior in other dogs. Do humans recognize the

In 1980, Dr. Erika Friedmann conducted a study of coronary patients that determined that “pet owners were more likely to be alive one year after discharge from a coronary care unit than non-owners.”

22 | WISCONSIN WOMAN June 2014

laughter of their dogs? And, if yes, do they respond to their dog’s laughter with their own laughter?” If she’s asking me, the answer is a solid you bet. And I think Jane Brody would agree. This week, blogging for The New York Times, Brody detailed the loneliness that weighed on her four years into widowhood and her subsequent decision to “acquire a four-legged companion, rather than a two-legged one.” “I am now making it work with Max II, little mischief that he is, and I am besotted,” she writes. “But perhaps the most interesting (and unpremeditated) benefit has been the scores of people I’ve met on the street, both with and without dogs, who stop to admire him and talk to me. Max has definitely increased my interpersonal contacts and enhanced my social life.” To varying degrees, dogs require time and energy and money and aren’t for everyone, but those who have the inclination and the resources,for the benefits are invaluable. While the companionship of a dog is not a panacea, the companionship of the right dog might be the next best thing. l

WOOF! Dog trainer Matthew “Uncle Matty” Margolis is co-author of 18 books about dogs, a behaviorist, a popular radio and television guest, and host of the PBS series “WOOF! It’s a Dog’s Life!” Read all of Uncle Matty’s columns at www.creators. com, and visit him at www.unclematty. com.


LIFESTYLE | Entertainment

June

ACTIVITIES FOR ALL

WHERE TO GO

DO YOU ENJOY FESTIVALS, GO TO ONE OF THESE! Fiesta Waukesha A wide array of Hispanic entertainment, Latin American cuisine, rides, children’s area and much more. Located on the banks of the Fox River in Waukesha, June 20 – 22.

SUMMERFEST Enjoy a world of great entertainment from June 25 – 29, then July 1 – 6. Best music event in Milwaukee. Visit Summerfest.com for all the events!

FOR DAD! Take Dad to the Zoo! Milwaukee County Zoo, 10001 Bluemound Rd. Take dad to the zoo, (sponsored by Prairie Farms Dairy), all fathers are admitted free to celebrate Father’s Day on June 15! milwaukeezoo.org/414-771-3040.

HAPPY

FATHER’S DAY

GIFT GUIDE

treat dad

SUMMER ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS‌ Kids Summer Drawing Classes Artist & Display Classes, 9015 W Burleigh St., week-long class from June 23 – 27 for ages 8 thru 13. Explore a variety of drawing techniques & materials. Register on line at www.artistanddisplayonline.

KIDZ DAYS AT THE CENTER: FIRST STAGE As part of the Marcus Center’s community and educational arts programming, a variety of performing arts presented by local Milwaukee groups will entertain and educate with interactive programs on Tuesdays through Thursdays throughout the summer months. This program is popular among Day Care and School groups. Starts June 17 and ends August 21, 10 a.m. 414-273-7206 or email info@marcuscenter.org

SNOOZE AT THE ZOO -- AUGUST 6 – 9 Milwaukee County Zoo 10001 W. Bluemound Rd. Online registration only – visit zoosociety. org/snooze to reserve you campsite, first come, first served basis. This Zoological Society special event offers a safe, fun, educational overnight family camping experience. (414) 258-2333

WHAT’S PLAYING? Bolero Marcus Center for the Performing Arts. Beautiful music to end the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra season, June 6 – 8. Visit marcuscenter.org or call 414.273.7206.

Phantom of the Opera Marcus Center for the Performing Arts, July 23 - August 3. Visit marcuscenter.org or call 414-273-7206 for tickets.

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