FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 24
Always with an ear for overly sonorous music, Tufts Police went knocking on a door in Latin Way. An occupant of the loud room opened the door, and after, seeing who was doing the knocking, abruptly, and with out success, tried to close the door. The occupant said he was a U Mass student, a claim that was quickly corroborated by another occupant. Police, now growing tired of the recurrent theme of non-Tufts aliases, thought it tiring and frustrating when the “U Mass” student turned out to be yet another boring Tufts student. The alcohol was taken and the music turned down to a more palatable volume.
Scattered noise violations with widespread reports of alcohol. And a heat wave. THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 Police were perplexed by an indidvidual placing two 40 oz. beer containers on Boston Avenue (40’s are supposed to be taped to your hands!). When officers asked for the individual’s ID, he was quick to state that he was an older brother of a Tufts student. Police initially thought it odd that he looked nothing like the likeness on his Massachusetts ID. “Well,” they thought, “maybe his brother can clarify things!” Police again found it odd that the Tufts photo of his little brother looked much more like their suspect. Needless to say, the 40’s were confiscated, along with the ID. SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 26 Tufts Police encountered a numerical anomaly when an intoxicated student reported he had consumed 15 shots of rum. “I guess that’s why he went to Lawrence Memorial Hospital,” posited Sgt. McCarthy. “That’s a lot. It explains why his math was off. The count might not be accurate.” —illustrated and compiled by Ryan Stolp 28
OCTOBER 4, 2010
Tufts Observer (Volume CXXI Issue 2)