S
ugar daddies are old, but young at heart. They can have their way right into a young woman's life—with no guilt or shame. Some have left their wives unattended to give their full attention to these young women. Some can hardly attend their children's school meetings, but they can meet their young partners at street corners or first class places...depending on their bank balance or wallets! There are a lot of reasons why young women glue themselves to sugar daddies –men old enough to be their fathers or a lot older than them. There are a lot of reasons why sugar daddies go for young women. To give you a hand, I chatted to a group of young women at a tertiary level to help us understand why young women go for sugar daddies. They were free to tell me about their experience with older men. Their relationship with sugar daddies is more than that meets the eye. At times the sugar daddies lie about their identities—they fake it to make it! While these young women go out with 'the daddies' for material gain, sugar daddies enjoy being with young women for personal game. It is a two way thing! “Trends come and go, competition at varsity is too high –everyone wants to have something new in the closet. I go out with sugar daddies because they are there to provide. Money for them is not really an issue. Sometimes they feel a bit jealous when you date someone younger than them they feel disrespected so they use money to keep you. I personally prefer someone older because they are matured and they know how to treat a lady. I don't have to remind him to do this and that—he knows just what to do!” said Cynthia Mathole (26), who dated a man 15 years older than her. Zanele Mathebula* is 21 years old, she dated a 41-year-old because she did not have a father figure when she was growing up. “I was raised by a single parent. I wanted to
bridge a gap—I missed out on having a male person to guide me and take care of my needs. The man I dated was very supportive and very open. I did not care much about whether he was married or going through a divorce. He took me to all these exciting places and treated me very special.” “I dated a sugar daddy but it did not last. He was too controlling. He was jealous of my relationship with younger men—he became violent. Sugar daddies use you to spice up their marriage, well not all are married. Sometimes when things are not going too well at home, they run to you for sexual reasons. You are a spare wheel. A lot of them are bored of their marriage or women their ages, so they go out with younger women to make themselves feel young. They love to brag about these young women; they want to show their friends that they can get any girl they want—young or old”, said Vanessa Mbisa (30). The vibe might seem entertaining, interesting, benefiting and innocent to both parties, but who gets hurt at the end? The wife and the children, it paints a very bad name for the family and the wife is being disrespected—all because of a man who chose to throw his family away to be with a girl who was born yesterday. Young women might end up being too attached—emotionally, physically or mentally, which can be hurtful if the man is not really serious about the relationship. Whose time is wasted? The young woman's time is wasted. A man who steals his time with his family to be with you won't marry you. That man is not serious about you. If the sugar daddy is married or has a family, what makes you think he is not cheating on you when he is cheating on his wife or partner? It is all a game; it can have bad results –a circle of hurt feelings, promiscuity, loss of concentration at school if all you do is think of that Gucci handbag he promised you, broken families and hearts and unfaithfulness. By Mmabatho Makotanyane
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