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Marriage Advice Almost marriage will have large or small problems, and the impact depends on the manner in which problems are resolved. No one is perfect and it takes two to make it work.
Define the Problem - Before any type of marriage advice can be given, the underlying problem must be identified. Both partners need to be completely honest about their feelings, something that is not always easy for people no matter what is at stake. If one partner had an affair a year ago and his mate has still not forgiven him, she needs to admit this. If he thinks she doesn't pay enough attention to him and he's feeling neglected, he needs to say so. The problem cannot be addressed by a therapist or counselor unless he knows what those problems are. Communicate Correctly - While many couples may feel they communicate all the time, yelling as her husband walks through the door isn't communication. To communicate correctly, each person needs to be honest, open and receptive. He also needs to place all blame aside. Though she may be angry and hurt over his affair, she needs to begin by saying, "I am hurt," rather than "You hurt me." When you communicate with someone and begin with the "you" format, it automatically places the other person on the defensive. Soon an argument ensues and nothing gets accomplished. Give Them Space - There may be times when you need to give the other person space and time to soak in what has been discussed. She may even need time to decide what she wants. Though this can be one of the most frightening moments in your life, it is better to allow this time rather than argue constantly over the same issue; in the end, the argument only does more damage. Whether the time she needs is a few hours, days or weeks, during this time she may end up missing you.
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