Page 1

THIS IS A CHALLENGE TO THE LAGUNA DUDES.... CURRENT MOOD: CHIPPER CATEGORY: PARTIES AND NIGHTLIFE Alright... This weekend was kinda a Laguna Beach marathon and if you watched it or remember the episode there is one very special scene I would like to talk about. There is a scene where J-wal (Jason) and Talon are playing basketball in their front yard. They are wearing Armani shirts and stupid shorts. Both of them in Designer T’s (stupid). They show all the shots that frickin talon is shooting and they are all going in, like we are supposed to believe he is a 100% field goal shooter...come on. Then J-wal calls Lc and is like "Hey Lc, Me and Talon are over here shootin hoops," that was the part that really got me. I don’t think they really shoot hoops ever..sooooooooo Here is the challenge!! I challenge Talon and J-wa(Jason) to a game of 2 on 2. I will take My boy Mike the Bike (check my top eight) over those two any day and I would even give these bozos a spread. So WhATs Up Talon? What’s up J-wal? Let’s do it Punks..Whoever wins gets LC.... Dave the rave.

BLUETOOTH DORKS CURRENT MOOD: CHIPPER CATEGORY: FASHION, STYLE, SHOPPING Ok I have noticed that technology has become a big part of the everyday world. So now it’s cool to show it off. That’s fine right? WRONG. First example-beepers-people used to tuck in their shirt and put the beeper right on the left side of the pant so everyone can see it. Then make a huge deal when someone "blew them up" you all know what I am talking about. We all think its Pretty Stupid now Huh? WELL my point is this. The next revolution in chooch gear is here. Bluetooth Cheese dudes that rock that stupid spacecraft looking object in their ear all the time. I will not talk to someone when that is in their %..& ear. They go to the mall and walk around talk (almost screaming) and you think the person is lunatic, but no they are just sooooo cool and they are actually on the phone. I bet there are alot of dudes that are not actually on the phone, they just want the attention. I can’t wait till they make portable blender so I can make a smoothie while I am trying on some new shoes............... I hope you all agree. The Philosopher Dave the Rave.

STUFFED ANIMALS.... CURRENT MOOD: CRANKY CATEGORY: LIFE Is there anything worse than that guy? I tend to say their is... That girl. That girl can be worse than that guy all day long. What I really want to address is "stuffed animals in the back of your car" girl. You know the one. The stupid idiot girls that put grab it machine stuffed animals in the back window of their car so they look out at the car behind them. Is there anything trashier than that. I think it just screams" I live in a house off the freeway" or "I eat Mcdonalds every day." It also makes them terrible drivers now because they can’t see out of the back of their dodge neons because their vision is blocked. Now

Created by MERRILL


they are shitty people and shitty drivers. Oh and how gross are stuffed animals anyways? They are like a pair of never washed socks. GROSS!!! If you sleep with them, sweat builds all over them, they collect dust like no other, if you’ve had them around since you are were a kid just imagine a jar full of bacteria that you carry around with you. The folks that still rock stuffed animals after the age of 12 needs to get a life, and I know ill get some negative feedback from this post about people with emotional attachment to a certain item but you wont change my mind. Dr.Phil should take notes from me. Word to get rid of forever: calling money "cheese" Dave the Rave

COMCAST CABLE CURRENT MOOD: CHEERFUL CATEGORY: MOVIES, TV, CELEBRITIES You are getting tons on heat for your nutty rates and fees, screwing people into the whole big ten networks thing, and running stupid campaigns. The "just ask Zack" could be the biggest idiot, empty headed Advertising angle I have ever seen. First you had these famous ad campaigns: 1. The "cha ching" thing from Rallys, nobody ate at rallys until that shred of 38 second brilliance. 2. You're getin a dell dude guy-he was funny until he ended up in rehab, but it caught fast and ended up being very successful. If the dude didn’t get addicted to spike (meth) we would all still be saying it. 3. The gieco lizard has done wonders for the company and is still intellectually pleasing to kids and parents alike 4. The Gieco caveman are great but the show coming out could be overkill And now Comcast people run this booger eating spaz ,dork brat out there "Zack" with snappy music requesting to you to ask zack your cable inquiries. The bottom line is that you hate zack right out the gate because he’s making funny faces and is dressed like a Arizona jeans co. nightmare. What are the 1200$ suits thinking at Comcast when they gave the green light to this avalanche of stupidity. People are jumping ship to the dish and WOW. Listen Comcast, ask me "Just ask Dave" next time you want to roll with a new ad campaign. Dave the Rave

GARAGE SALES CURRENT MOOD: CHIPPER CATEGORY: LIFE There is crew of old dudes down the street that have garage sales all the time. No damn that, every week!! I think that they are professional garage salers! I am not going to lie, that I stop to the random garage sale once and a while and browse through piles of bullshit, its fun sometimes. I have found some awesome things in garage sales (car bed,couches,babes etc). The thing is that you do not need a permit for a garage sale in Royal Oak so they are plentiful. But these guys have made a living out of having a garage sale every week. And don't think I don't know what these guys do. They are not fooling me. They must get new product from somewhere. They wait until big garbage day (you know the only day you’re allowed to throw big stuff away) in Detroit and pick up any chair, couch or used wooden kitchen spoon they can find and throw them in the back of their trucks. In all reality it’s a 100% profit margin for them but it pisses me off. The signs are up every weekend

Created by MERRILL


and cars are always outside this house. Signs that says” huge garage sale" "everything must go" horse shit. So if you know me and you have read my other blogs you will know that I always have solution to a problem. The next Saturday when they have their” ground breaking garage sale" I am going to take over our weekly trash, pull up to their yard, and in front of everyone throw all of our garbage bags on their lawn, then Shout "How much can you get for this shit?" and give them a lawn job on the way out. I highly doubt they will try another garage sale again. Dave the rave

DAMN HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS....DAMN IT.. Ok ok if you know me well enough you know that I think highly of front yard decorations and "what the hell are they thinking" kind of stuff. Halloween is when the talents really come out. People make their front yard in to mini horror movies and the neighbors on the street sigh and think why the hell they still live on that street. Believe me when I say Royal Oak and st.clair shores have great people that spend about four or five days constructing massive front yard displays. I mean really awesome displays out here.. BUT here is my beef.....ohhh I am mad. The new trend out now (Christmas too) are these HUGE fucking BLOW UP things made out parachute horseshit that run with a fan and lights. You all know what I am talking about. These stupid pieces of shit are polluting our yard and the people that actually make their own fake dead people are getting pissed. These people actually look at these huge things at Meijer or franks and go "oh boy that will look great in our front yard" and buy them at 70 bucks or more. WELL I HAVE HAD IT. That’s why I decided to go trick or treating this year. Along with mike the bike I will be dressed as a Ninja and will be armed with a real katana blade. I will be in a mask so people will just think I am an immature 8th grader. When kids are getting candy I will be climbing trees and dishing out Chinese stars and unleashing hell on these parachute pumpkins. My katana will strike with such force that nobody will have the balls to buy another one of these idiot-things ever again. They will call me the chute-slasher... I will take out 300 by 7:00 and bike will take out 350 by sundown. I have not figured out what I am going to do for Christmas yet but reindeer and antlers sounds like a start... Who’s with me.. Go tigers.. Dave the shave.

RUNNERS!! COME ON NOW! CURRENT MOOD: CREATIVE Ok if you live in Michigan you all know what I am talking about. Whenever it hits the slightest in temp increase we all go nuts. It hits 50 and we want to open the pool. Right around this time of year out comes "Running with no shirt guy" the guy we all do not like. Usually an unattractive male frame, blanketed with hair on chest, back, and (real gross) shoulders. These kind are most of the time running on Mack or Woodward when they could easily use the side street to work their cardiovascular. BUT no they want us to see them. Drives me nuts. People freaking honk at the dudes but they think that its some pretty young girls honking and they stride even harder and higher. Please! guys wear a shirt. I would yell at them but they definitely have an iPod strapped to their arm in that nice little arm pouch they bought just for running, so they wont hear me. I have come up with a plan to STOP "running with no shirt guy." Check this out. Go into your fridge and find some old apples or oranges or even cantaloupes, ones that are too old to eat. Put them in a bag in your car. Whenever you see the

Created by MERRILL


GUY nail an apple at his dome. Pretty soon this dude takes a couple oranges to the skull and he will put a shirt on. Other runners will talk to each other and go" man I was running the other day with the shirt off and some chic blasted me in the melon with some fruit" other guy� me too" "we better start wearing shirts now." Problem fixed Dave the Rave

College Classic 2009 - EMAIL I would love to see a new event. One player from each team participates. Musical chairs in the garage when we get back from the boat. I have been to a party where this has taken place and its the best thing ever.. I will be bringing pierogies and my famous cucumber salad. Just an addition to my one email a while ago... HEY U of M-you suck, you go trolling for women at your libraries and the big house is a big joke, maybe you can bring in someone from west virginia to help you this weekend. Mich State-you cant win at anything except couch burning and arrest count Central-lets walk around our broke ass campus for four years because we only have two bars in town that both suck. Western-outside of the big burrito and that one video store Kzoo sucks and your football and basketball teams are toilet!! Defiance-Me and chris reed could run the point for their basketball team. Eastern-Hope your strapped or your in trouble walking around that campus

Go Northwood!! Home of Fricks and Deckers!! Boom Goes the Dynamite!!! GPDizzle

Created by MERRILL