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TROUWENS | Backstage - Amsterdam Dance Event special | Issue #05 | oktober 2010 | Pag 19

Behind him the door to the dressing room opens and we stretch our necks to peep inside, just in time to be granted a look upon Watkin Tudor Jones (aka the Ninja) and the fabled Yo-landi Vi$$er enjoying a beer (fabled because her voice sounds like she just inhaled a bunch of helium) Dj Hi-Tec (He owns a PC computer) is nowhere to be seen, but before we can look for him we are reminded once again of our unwantedness by the tiny English bloke. It now occurs to me this man must be their tour-manager. Surely, he must be part-midget. A normal person can’t be this small and still have a temper. Who would hire a midget tour-manager? That’s just silly. But hey, Die Antwoord featured pregoria (a super-fast aging disease) patient Leon Botha in their video clip ‘Enter the Ninja’, so that must mean they have a thing for people with disabilities. 21:30 – Aux Raus, the support act begins their show. One guy plays the guitar and the other one screams hysterically in a microphone. Lovely tunes indeed. Meanwhile, we sneak backstage to see what they did to their dressing room. The music they play implies they drank a bottle of vodka each and they just totally trashed the room. We expect total mayhem, a small fire, passed-out strippers and drugs everywhere. Nothing could be further from the truth. Indeed, a bottle of vodka is on the table but they maybe drank two glasses. The apple juice on the other hand is almost finished. Pussies. I check the fridge. The only beer missing is the one I stole previously. I am so disappointed in rock ‘n roll right now. As a punishment I steal two more. Our second attempt to get into the main dressing room is once again thwarted by the evil British midget. O! How I hate him.

22:15 – Finally, The South African phenomena mounts the stage in Trouw for their show, and I have to say, it was pretty awesome. Yo-Landi totally makes up for her size with spectacular raw rapping power and some dirty moves, and Ninja, it turns out, possesses amazing crowd-surfing skills, which is impressive for a guy who looks like the gangsta-rapversion of miss Twiggy. They changed clothes four times, and for the last song they all wore bunny suits. You can’t argue with bunny suits. As a result the crowd goes insane. Ninja screams something about multiculturalism with his adorable South African accent. The crowd loves him for it. Admittedly, it would have helped if they actually had a black person in their group, which is not the case except if Yo-Landi turns out to be an albino. That would be sick. And it would fit their disabilities-fetish too. 23:30 – Afterwards, we try once more to sneak some pictures, and maybe a quick interview. No luck. All we get to see is a now seriously annoyed and worryingly red-faced tour manager. My Almost Famous dream just bursted: No doing cocaine with Dj Hi-Tec for me, no backstage pictures of me chillin’ with the crème de la crème of the South African hip-hop scene. We decide to go home. Ah well, we got some free beers out of it. Plus I got to see Yo-Landi’s ass. Totally worth it.

Trouwens #05 - 'Backstage Issue'  

Trouwens is a magazine made bij TrouwAmsterdam for the visitors of TrouwAmsterdam

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