Page 1

Community Assistance Programs Building strong families. Connecting people and resources. Strengthening communities.

JUNE 2015

FAMILY OUTREACH PROGRAM Tri-Valley Opportunity Council, Inc ● Nancy Ramon

1-800-820-7263 ● Maureen Hams

Dear Families and Friends of Tri-Valley Opportunity Council:

Summer is here and a great time to spend time with your family doing outdoor activities. Plan to attend the county fairs that will be starting soon and sstop by and visit us at our Tri-Valley booth. Multi County Local Advisory Council on Children’s Mental Health Our next meeting will be Monday, June 8th at 6pm at the Tri-Valley Opportunity Council office in Crookston. We continue to look for parent involvement in this council Please call 1-800-8207263 for more information. Maureen and I will be attending a best practice event in June to assist us to learn more on how we can best engage more people in the LAC work. Wwe will share more with everyone in the future.

FAIM - Family Assets for Independence in Minnesota is a matched savings project to assist low income earners to purchase a home, pursue a higher education or start a new business. If you would like more information on this please contact Nancy at 1-800-820-7263.

HAVE A HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! Maureen and Nancy

MY CHILD’S FRIENDS THINKS HE’S “CHEATING” BECAUSE HE GETS EXTRA TIME ON TEST. WHAT SHOULD I DO? (From by Donna Volpitta) One if my favorite sayings is “Fair is not equal.” It would be silly if treating people equally meant treating everyone the same way-if one person wears glasses, should everyone wear glasses? No. Fair is giving people what they need. I know from my work with families how frustrating it can be when people don’t understand the need for extra time on tests and other common accommodations for students with learning and attention issues. Nobody questions the use of accommodations for people with physical impairments, such as providing glasses to a student who has trouble seeing or providing a wheelchair to someone who has trouble walking. But some people have trouble believing that someone needs extra time on tests. Some of the comments your son is hearing from his friends may come from jealousy. Not many people are jealous of glasses or wheelchairs. But many kids would love to have extra time on a test-particularly if they’re stressed for time themselves. This is especially true for high-stakes tests like the SAT or ACT. And some of the comments he is hearing may be the result of misunderstanding. His friends might not know that smart people can have trouble processing information. Glasses and wheelchairs can be easier to understand because it’s easier to see “evidence” of those kinds of problems. The first step in addressing the issue your son is having with his friends is for you to talk with your child. Make sure he understands why he needs the extra time on tests. Discuss the impact his learning and attention issues have on other areas of his life, such as how much time it takes him to complete his homework or finish a project. Talk about having a learning or attention issue often means he has to work harder in order to show what he knows. Then make sure he understands that in order to get extra time on tests, a doctor has to determine that he needs extra time—just like an optometrist determines whether someone needs glasses. The next step is to help your child practice explaining this to his friends. Look for ways to help him avoid sounding defensive. You may suggest something like: 

“Hey guys, I know you’d like extra time on tests, but my (learning disability or other issue) makes me take longer to show what I know.”


“A doctor tested me and said I need extra time. I’m still racing to finish even with the extra time.

The truth is that in many ways, kids understand the concept of “fair is not equal” better than adults. If these kids are really your son’s friends and they’ve watched him struggle in school,

EASY WAYS TO BE A FANTASTIC PARENT (from Take Charge Children crave limits, which helps them understand and manage an often confusing world. Show your love by setting boundaries so your kids can explore and discover their passions safely. Don’t try to fix everything Give kids a chance to find their own solutions. When you lovingly acknowledge a child’s minor frustrations without immediately rushing in to save them, you teach them self-reliance and resilience. Remember that discipline is not punishment Enforcing limits is really about teaching kids how to behave in the world and helping them to become competent, caring, and in control. Pick your battles Kids can’t absorb too many rules without turning off completely. Forget arguing about the little stuff. Focus on the things that really matter. Play with your children Let them choose the activity, and don’t worry about rules. Just go with the flow and have fun. Make warm memories Your children will probably not remember anything that you say to them, but they will recall the family rituals. Like bedtimes and game night that you do together. Fess up when you blow it This is the best way to show your child how and when they should apologize. Respect parenting differences Support your spouse’s basic approach to raising kids unless it’s way out of line. Criticizing or arguing with your partner will do more harm to your marriage and your child’s sense of security than if you accept standards that are different from your own. Always tell the truth It’s how you want your child to behave, right? Be the role model your children deserve Kids learn by watching their parents. Modeling appropriate, respectful, good behavior works much better than telling them what to do. Cheer the good stuff When you notice your child doing something helpful or nice, let them know how you feel. It’s a great way to reinforce good behavior so they are more likely to keep doing it. Give yourself a break Hitting the drive-thru when you’re too tired to cook doesn’t make you a bad parent. Trust your mommy gut No one knows your child better than you. Follow your instincts when it comes to their health and wellbeing. If you think something’s wrong, chances are you’re right. Don’t accept disrespect from your child. Never allow them to be rude or say hurtful things to you or anyone else. If they do, tell them firmly that you will not tolerate any form of disrespect. Ask your children three “you” questions every day The art of conversation is an important social skill, but parents often neglect to teach it. Get a child going with questions like, “Did you have fun at school?”, “What did you do at the party you went to?” or “Where do you want to go tomorrow afternoon?” Don’t raise a spoiled child Keep this thought in mind: Every child is a treasure, but no child is the center of the universe. Teach them accordingly. Set up a “gratitude circle” every night at dinner Go around the table and take turns talking about the various people who were generous and kind to each of you that day. It may sound corny, but it makes everyone feel good. Love your children equally, but treat them uniquely They are individuals. Say “I love you” whenever you feel it, even if it’s 743 times a day You simply can not spoil a child with too many mushy words of affection and too many smooches. Not possible. Keep in mind what grandparents say Children are not yours, they are only lent to you for a time. In those fleeting years, do your best to help them grow up to be good people. Savor the moments Yes, parenthood is the most exhausting job on the planet. Yes, your house is a mess, the laundry’s piled up, and the dog needs to be walked. But your kid just laughed. Enjoy it now — it will be over far too fast.

Inter-County Community Council Youth/Young Adult Employment Program This program serves individuals who are permanent residents in Polk, Pennington, Red Lake, Roseau, Marshall, Kittson and Norman counties WIOA (Workforce Investment & Opportunity Act) is a federal legislation program As of July 1, 2015 the focus of the program will be Out of School Youth/Young Adults ages 16-24 Eligibility: Not attending/attached to any school including Alternative Learning Centers.( Adult Basic Education is considered out of school )and meet one or more of the additional conditions: 1. School dropout 2. Within the age of compulsory school attendance but HAS NOT been attending, for at least, the most complete calendar year quarter 3. Working with probation (juvenile or adult) 4. Homeless or runaway, in foster care or aged out of foster care 5. Pregnant or parenting 6. Individual with a disability 7. Received diploma but is low income and basic skills deficient 8. Low-income and requires additional assistance to enter or complete an education program or to secure or hold employment For more information contact or call 218-796-5144 ext 23

Four Cornerstones of Financial Literacy Training Here is a list of future workshops that we will be offering on a program that will empower individuals and families to gain financial freedom. Crookston June 9, 16 and 23rd from 6pm to 9pm 1345 Fairfax Ave. Norman County Dates and place to be announced in the near future East Grand Forks September 22, 29, October 6 and 13th 1825 Central Ave NW Topics to be covered:  Budgeting to create savings  Debt reduction and asset building  Building a good credit rating  Consumer protection and financial institu-


Websites for your family A lot of resources and information is available for children and families on the internet. You need to be very careful about information you find and very cautious about websites, but there are many quality sites out there. Here are a few sites you can look at :– resource and information center for families and youth with disabilities, bullying resources– a mental health advocacy organization dedicated to improving the lives of individuals and families and resources for children and families promoting positive mental health– resources and information regarding substance abuse, mental health and services for children and families– a website for Minnesota children with special health needs and their families about IDEA, special education and disability issues—Minnesota Organization on Fetal Alchol

Please contact Nancy at or call 1-800-820-7263 for more information– resources and information for parents— resources and activities on preventing bullying and how to handle bullying

FUN THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR CHILDREN THIS SUMMER Make a photo journal or a family yearbook Have a luau in the backyard Make a fort out of cardboard boxes Visit a farmer’s market Stage an A to Z scavenger hunt, where you have to find something that starts with each letter Make ice cream Build a sand castle Clean up trash at a local park

Have a backyard campfire

Have a water balloon fight Go for a walk and then make a collage from nature that you find on the way Plant a garden of herbs and veggies Pretend to be pirates for a day—dress up in costumes, plan a treasure hunt and talk like a pirate Make totem poles out of paper towel rolls and decorate them Make a birdhouse out of popsicle sticks Visit an amusement park Wade through a steam and search for minnows and tadpoles Run through the sprinklers Assemble a family cookbook with your favorite recipes Create a backyard circus—kids can pretend to be animals and dress up as clowns Visit a retirement home and read stories to residents Decorate bikes and have a neighborhood 4th of July parade Pick out a nearby town to visit for the day Make a sidewalk mural HAVE FUN THIS SUMMER

Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 This is an Equal Opportunity Program. Discrimination in this program is prohibited by Federal law. It is illegal to discriminate against any person because of race, color or national origin. To file a complaint of discrimination, write to: USDA Director, Office of the Civil Rights, Room 326-W Whitten Building, 14th and Independence Ave S.W. , Washington, DC, 20250-9410 or call (202) 720-5964.

Profile for Tri-Valley Opportunity Council, Inc.

Newsletter june 2015  

2015 Family Voice and Choice Newsletter

Newsletter june 2015  

2015 Family Voice and Choice Newsletter