Winter 2017: Issue 13
Calgary's Well-Being and Mindful Living Magazine
LETTING GO OF THE DIET LANA OSBORNE-PARADIS
IT'S ABOUT TIME TO SHED THIS PART OF YOUR IDENTITY CHERYLE COTE
RELEASE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS CHRISTY LOWRANCE
WISDOM FROM THE AKASHIC RECORDS
LET IT GO CAROLE LEWITSKI
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With the start of the winter season comes the season of overindulgence. Think holiday parties with cheese balls, chicken wings and oh so many other wonderful cream filled delights. Then comes turkey dinners with all the trimmings followed by our last night to splurge on New Year's eve before we begin the dreaded January diet! If this sounds familiar then you will want to check out Lois Hamilton's thoughts on this scarcity mind set on page 14. Lois shares that diets are typically designed as a temporary measure that entices people based on the premise that there is something wrong with them. This fear based call to action sets people up for unrealistic expectations that feed into an “acceptable societal norm”. Find out how you can make a plan for life which will be more satisfying than any cheese ball or chicken wing. Trifecta Magazine focuses on three aspects of health; Mind, Body and Soul. Achieving optimal results in these three areas is considered a perfect balance or trifecta, hence the name of this publication – Trifecta. Inspiring well-being and mindful living through community connection right here in Calgary, Trifecta Magazine provides a channel for community members to both share and learn from each other’s experiences in a solution-based forum of expression. Trifecta Magazine attracts readers, writers and advertisers with a desire for betterment and provides exposure to the many types of therapies, products and practitioners throughout Calgary and surrounding areas that can help people advance on their personal journeys. We hope you enjoy the experience and we look forward to sharing our passion in many issues to come.
For information on advertising opportunities or to contribute to Trifecta Magazine, email email@example.com or phone 403-589-5060. Trifecta Magazine can be delivered quarterly directly to your home or office for only $24.95 + GST for a one year subscription. Email firstname.lastname@example.org for more information. Published by Allison Cartwright and Cindy Drummond
It’s About Time to Shed This Part of Your Identity
By Lana Osborne-Paradis
Living in Mastery and Meditation
By Janet Love Morrison
Align with Your Power
By Justine Turner
Letting Go and Moving Forward
By Abe Brown
Release Negative Thoughts
By Cheryle Cote
A Little Big Thing
By Christina Marlett
Productivity and Massage Therapy
By Jill Burk
Wisdom from the Akashic Masters: Let It Go
Express Your Innate Power
By Dr. Alma Nenshi, Registered Chiropractor
Letting Go of The Diet
Fear... is the Greatest Inhibitor to "Letting Go"
A Musical Perspective on Life
Letting Go of Unhealthy Expectations in Relationships
Letting Go of Judgment
Parenting Tips: Decrease School Stress
Raspberry and Kiwi Filled Christmas Cookies
How to Let Go of Being a Guilt Prone Woman
The Most Important Person in the World is You
Thoughts on Decision Making
Changing a Daughter's Feminine Legacy by Healing the Mother Wounds
By Christy Lowrance
By Lois Hamilton
By Hazel-Jane Kalyn By Serge Mazerand By Eileen Head
By Carole Lewitski
By Marianne Disipio-Vitale By Marsha Hebert By Bev Janisch
By Patrick Murray
By Krystyna C. Laycraft
By Wendy Olson-Brodeur
By Dana da Ponte
House Blessings and Spiritual Clearings By Tara
The publisher, authors and contributors reserve their rights in regards to copyright of their work. No part of this work covered by the copyright may be reproduced or copied in any form or by any means without the written consent of the publisher. Opinions expressed herein are those of the authors and advertisers and do not necessarily reflect those of Trifecta Magazine. Readers are encouraged to consult with their health professional before embarking on any exercise, medical or nutritional changes. Winter 2017
Here's what I'd like you to know about the stories we tell ourselves:
It’s About Time to Shed This Part of Your Identity By Lana Osborne-Paradis
Chances are good that you’ve already updated, downloaded or upgraded one piece of software for your tech devices this week. But do we ever stop to consider updating our own internal human operating systems? It’s rare that we spend much time on our inner world. We are so concerned with keeping up to the pace of technology outside of ourselves, we fail to consider that perhaps it’s our inner framework that needs a refresh to lose old, outdated methods of interacting with the world. You know how an Apple iPhone uses iOS as its' operating system? Well we humans have an operating system too, it's just a little tougher to figure out, and a heck of a lot more challenging to re-program. Our operating systems are essentially the mental constructs we use to shape our beliefs, thoughts and perceptions about the world around us and how we interact with it. A large part of how we operate is based on how we see ourselves, and what we believe about ourselves. Most of us go through life with an underlying story that runs the show. We base this story on our past experiences, our insecurities, or even words that loved ones have uttered that we've taken personally. Our stories are usually complex. We often have a few different stories running in our subconscious. Maybe it's that we are lazy. Maybe it's that we will never have the job we want. Maybe our story is that we are not a 'fit person' and we will never be good at active pursuits. Maybe it's that we will never receive the true, loving partnership we desire. We tell ourselves lots of stories. These stories make up our operating system whether we realize it or not. Our actions, habits and beliefs are based on the story we believe about ourselves. And we do this because we try to make sense of what has happened in our past or because we want to protect ourselves from the pain of potentially not experiencing what we want in the future.
Our stories are often not true. We are so freakin' hard on ourselves.
We get to re-write our story any damn time we please.
Our past, the habits we had yesterday, the mistakes we've made, and our genetic predisposition do not have to dictate our future.
What you actively think about and pursue is what dictates your future outcomes.
So here's a story about a story that I've been living for the past number of months. This is just an example, to give a real life idea of what stories look like in our lives. I have been living the 'I'm sick' story since about week 7 of my pregnancy. I'm almost 33 weeks pregnant now. There are lots of days when I have been quite physically sick in the past 8 months. But there are also days when I feel much, much better. My biggest awareness has been to not act out my story of 'I'm sick' on the days when I'm actually feeling good. So on the good days, I get workouts in. I eat well. I get lots of work done for my online training business. I cross things off my to-do list, work in the garden, clean the house. And then when I am not feeling well, I do my best to make myself comfortable with outdoor walking, lots of sleeping, a warm bath or a movie. It has been challenging not to live out the sick story on days when I am feeling better. I'm sure you can relate to waning motivation, it's the effect inertia has on us. Another way to think about the power of our stories is the snowball effect. Let’s say we have one week of not getting our regular workouts or great food choices in and it snowballs into reduced motivation, more excuse-making and less self-belief. We knowingly or unknowingly turn this into part of our personal story. Our daily habits and actions are based on our story and translate into months of lowered activity levels and poorly planned eating all because we believed the story that we made up in our heads based on one experience or even a week of experiences. So what's your story? If you're like me you've probably had a lot of them over the years. If you are living the 'I'm just not a fit person' story, then I've got a couple powerful thoughts I'd like you to consider. There is no such thing as a person who is 'just naturally fit'. Fitness is a practice. We only benefit from the habits we continually put into practice week after week.
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from the publisher. Yes, there are people who may appear fitter with less effort, but if we want to reap the benefits of exercise and great eating habits, we've got to practice day after day.
We are creatures of habit. We know what we know and sometimes it's really hard for us to accept change. This is why we focused this issue on Letting Go.
Let's get rid of the story that 'so-and-so has it easier than we do when it comes to fitness' and work on what we can control: our daily decisions. You get to be fit by practicing being fit. It doesn't happen overnight. Keep adding little bits of walking, working out, eating better and stressing less to your daily life. After a few weeks you'll be kicking more than a little ass, I promise. This is what I would like you to realize: that you have SO much control over your story. You get to re-write and change and edit that story any time you want. It will be tough, and it will require owning up to your own bull crap time after time. Spend a few moments thinking about the stories that run the show in your life. Could you give them up? Could you try running on a new operating system? It could be giving up the story that you are not a fit person. Or it could be giving up the story that you are not disciplined. By giving up your story you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. After all, one door has to close in order for you to look around and choose the next one you’d like to open.
It's not easy to change our behaviours, get comfortable with being uncomfortable, but how do we move forward if we can't begin to let go of expectations, bad habits or fear. This issue is chock-full of great advice from our readers and while they are all written from a difference perspective the message is clear. To grow you need to let go. As we near the end of a turbulent 2016, we give you permission to close doors, set boundaries, and choose limits that will help you let go, so you can embrace the new year with openness and possibilities. Enjoy! Cindy Drummond
Lana Osborne-Paradis www.blastfitness.ca
Are you longing for improved wellness? a happier relationship? more energy? work life balance? a more fulfilling career? joy and laughter in your life? Contact Wellness Coach Joyce Sunada today!
O c tober 20
& 21, 2017
Do you have an inspiring story to share or a skill to teach? We are currently accepting applications for
speakers and facilitators at the 6th annual
Women’s Only Weekend in Canmore!
Email Cindy Drummond and tell us more! email@example.com
Living in Mastery and Meditation By Janet Love Morrison
Most of us, at some point in time, have arrived at a space where it’s time to let go of the old and create the new. Is the way you are – the way you want to be? When we are the way we want to be we are in order. This order is mastery; a movement within this order; is meditation.
You can choose to join any of the following activities to awaken your possibilities:
How do we start? Master Dhyan Vimal, a modern-day enlightened Master from Kuala Lumpur Malaysia, created the Mastery Meditation and it’s a tool for the modern man to stimulate and nurture one’s inner possibilities. Enabling one to achieve all that one can be, which is one’s rightful birthright.
Weekly programmes are a series of three to five evenings where themes such as healing, creation, self-awareness and mindfulness are explored.
The meditation is a dynamic and active form of meditation. The technique comprises of five parts, with step-by-step guidance and instructions by Master Dhyan Vimal. He created it to awaken your within, to recognize you are the creator of your life. In time, from using this meditation you learn to master your energy. The Dhyana Centre Vancouver is an oasis of learning open to everyone who wants to awaken to their highest possibilities. We are a community of individuals across Canada (Victoria, Calgary, Toronto and Montreal) dedicated to sharing the teachings of Master Dhyan Vimal whose personal insights provide a pathway to powerful transformation.
Daily meditations are single evening events where you can learn different meditation practices to deepen your understanding of yourself and the art and science of mastery.
Workshops are usually two full day events where you can go deeply into structured learnings that deliver the understanding required for the transformation of the individual within and without. Visit facebook.com/DhyanaCentreVancouver or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org for further information. You can also find more learning resources at www.dhyanvimal.com
The daily meditations, weekly programmes and workshops offer you the opportunity to look deeply into the joys and challenges of your life and gain a unique awareness of who you truly are and how you can be who you want to be. What is the learning about? There are three core themes that run through the teachings of Dhyan Vimal. These are mastery, meditation and living in abundance.
The understanding that your reality is created by you. An examination and contemplation into belief structures which form the selfs you carry.
When you commit to see you, commit to be in contact with you, and this is the key understanding, and all else is born from this.
Living in Abundance
Seeing that the personal poverty you suffer is your creation. When you break past conditionings that keep you in poverty, creation happens naturally for you to live in abundance.
What format does the learning take?
We experience learning through meditation, video and audio talks from Master Dhyan Vimal, individual reflection and group discussions. The atmosphere is open, inclusive and nonjudgmental. There are different levels of learning from beginner to advanced and all are welcome at any level. Join a free introduction to meditation to get you started, then try Simirthi Initiation Programme. Here you will learn to put yourself back into the centre of your life using meditation to come to the remembrance of yourself.
Details of Workshop Date & Time: November 26 & 27, 2016 10am-6pm Venue:
111 - 25th Ave SW, Calgary
Joann 403 402 7699 email@example.com
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A L I G N W I T H Y O U R P O W E R Winter 2017
By Justine Turner
Are you living the life you truly want to live? Do you know that you can manifest your desires in EVERY area of your life? You CAN have the career, business, relationships, health and finances that you want. You, and only you, have the power to do this. The power has always been there, but the question is: “Are you aligned with it?” Why is it that for some people things get better and better and for others, things stay the same or get worse? Those amazing and “lucky” people are in alignment with their power and you can be too! Is there a part of your life that you would like to be different? It’s very easy to focus on the reality of these not-so-perfect situations because they are in front of you. But if you can use your imagination and get into the FEELING space of what it will be like when conditions improve, you are then getting yourself more so into the ALLOWING space. How do you know you are allowing? Easy. Do you feel good? Then you are allowing. Are you experiencing negative emotions? Then you are resisting. We all came to the planet with this brilliant emotional guidance system that lets us know if we are in alignment with our desires, our inner being and ultimately our creative power.
-our thoughts create our feelings so having this awareness can truly be life changing. So you realize that want more in your life. Now what? Well, that’s where a good life coach can help you align with your power and get you back into the space of allowing. An effective coach is someone who will listen, soothe your energy, take you through empowering meditations and processes, and ask the right questions so that you can intuitively discover your own answers, thus aligning with your power. I love that moment when I can help someone discover the exact beliefs and thoughts that are stopping them from having the life they want. From there, we can create an “Inspired Action Plan” so you can be clear on exactly how to get from where you are to where you want to be. Most humans have this whole thing backwards and are creating by default. We want the conditions to change and then we will be happy. But what we want simply can’t come to us if we are not a vibrational match to it. We are vibrational beings in a vibrational universe! Therefore, we must be in the space of allowing in order to receive our desires. Emotions such as joy, happiness, optimism, enthusiasm, appreciation, gratitude, abundance, love and peace signal that we are in alignment. Just be in those emotions as much as possible and watch what will flow to you and manifest! It’s truly amazing. Once you start to realize the power is within you and always has been, you feel so free. You create your reality. Just you. Isn’t that wonderful to know? First printed in Mosaic Magazine Autumn 2016 Justine Turner, B. ED, is a Quantum Success Coaching Academy Certified Law of Attraction Life Coach. facebook.com/Justinelifecoach
With this knowledge we can become aware of our emotions as a type of messaging system from the Universe, letting us know if we are on track for what we want or not. Brilliant! Now, I’m not saying we should repress our feelings because that, of course, is not healthy. What I am saying is that if we can become aware of our negative feelings, then we can also become aware of the thoughts we are thinking
Letting Go and Moving For ward By Abe Brown, Master Coach Trainer
In Zen tradition, there is a well-known tale that shares the idea of letting go. There are many versions of this story, but here is the gist: Two travelers reached a town where there was a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. The rains had made deep puddles and so she couldn’t step across without spoiling her silken robes. She just stood there, looking very angry and impatient, upset that the rain might ruin her day. She was scolding her attendants, quite upset that they had not done a better job of meeting her needs. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn’t help her across the large puddle themselves. The younger traveler noticed the woman and all her drama, said nothing, and walked by. The older traveler quickly picked her up and put her on his back, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other side. She didn’t thank the older traveler, but just shoved him out of the way and kept on going.
This story perfectly illustrates the fact that we either set things down, or we continue to carry them. Setting things down means a brief process of carrying in order to get to the other side, while continuing to carry means that many miles later, we are still burdened. We either move forward, or we continue to carry. It could be an event, a relationship, a job, or a heartbreak. In the end, we all need to ask this: Are you letting go and moving forward, or hanging on and continuing to carry? 5 Keys Letting Go and Moving Forward: 1. Identify your Feelings: The first key for Letting Go and Moving Forward is to identify your Feelings. Not everything affects us in an emotionally negative way, and so it is critical to thoroughly identify the events, relationships, and heartbreaks which have impacted you in an emotionally harmful way. When it comes to life, relationships, and events, we either identify the issues, or we suppress the issues. Suppressing leads to regressing; while identifying leads to progressing.
As they continued on their way, the young traveler was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours, unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. “That woman back there was very selfish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and carried her! Then she didn’t even thank you!
This is the principle of “Clarified Emotion”. Emotion that’s not clarified and illuminated often lies in a state of negativity, draining our positive energy and inspiration. Find a safe place to identify your feelings, to clearly express and articulate the happenings which have impacted you in an emotionally hurtful way. It is difficult to live an empowered life without clarified emotions. Without identifying our feelings, we experience emotional blockage, and this is unhealthy.
“I set the woman down hours ago,” the older traveler replied. “Why are you still carrying her?”
2. Extend Forgiveness: The second key for Letting Go and Moving Forward is to extend Forgiveness. Forgiveness does NOT mean that
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the negative emotions suddenly go away, or that the pain instantly dissolves, or even that the relationship and trust goes back to normal. Forgiveness is essentially a transactional event where we choose to release another and wipe the slate clean. Forgiving someone may cost you your pride, but not forgiving them will cost you your freedom. To forgive someone else is to set a prisoner free, and to joyfully discover that the prisoner was you. I call this the principle of “Closing Accounts”. In this, we make a clear list of those who have hurt or wounded us, and the events. We then identify exactly how they hurt us, and understand that by forgiving them, we help ourselves. And in the end, we make the decision to forgive. We close the account and move on. Without extending forgiveness, we experience bitterness, and this hurts us far more than the person we do not forgive. 3. Forget What Disempowers You: The third key for Letting Go and Moving Forward is to forget the things that disempower us. Once we have made the choice to forgive, one of the healthiest things we can do is make the choice to forget. This is NOT about forgetting the event or the person, actually not at all. To forget what they did only gives them a chance to do it again, if we haven’t learned from what occurred and incorporated those learnings into our experience. We don’t forget the person or event, but there is no value in constantly dwelling in the past. When we dwell in the past too much, it becomes part of our personal story that we move forward with, and if that story is only filled with negative events, people, and relationships, it is easy to see how this can hold us back from moving forward. This is the principle of “Closure”. In our story above, the older traveler made peace with the actions of the young woman, while the younger traveler continued to nurse what happened, and to rehearse it, and to effectively continue to carry her. It is difficult for even the most talented among us to move forward if our personal story is mainly about the negative happenings, people and occurrences of our past. Find closure. Without forgetting and healthy closure, we experience bondage. People who are trapped by the past live with a negative story that defines their future, disempowers their present, and constrains their possibilities. 4. Focus on What Matters: Once we have identified our feelings, extended forgiveness, and forgotten what disempowers us, the fourth key for Letting Go and Moving Forward is to focus on what matters. We cannot change the past, nor can we control the future, but in the present we can focus on that what matters. Focus on the power of focus! What you focus on, you move towards, and ultimately, become. If I do not like my present outcomes, I need to adjust my focus, because I will move towards what I focus on. Tony Robbins said that, “One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.” This is so true, and to emphasize this, Bruce Lee said that, “The successful warrior is the average person, with laser-like focus.” Average people with above-average focus produce exceptional results. This is the principle of “Clear Vision”. A clear vision harnesses your potential, and helps you tap into the laser power of focus. You will surprise yourself when you focus like a laser. So, what are you focused on? What is your vision statement for today? For this week? For this month? What is your clear vision for this year, and the next one? Spending time to ponder and reflect on Winter 2017
those things is a far more effective use of your time than dwelling on the past and fixating on its failures. Without focus, things are blurry, and blurriness is disempowering. 5. Go Forward with Growth: Once we have identified our feelings, extended forgiveness, forgotten what disempowers us, and focused on what matters, the fifth key for Letting Go and Moving Forward is go forward with your vision. Zig Ziglar said that, “Lack of direction, not time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.” This is the principle of “Consistent Personal Growth”. W. Edwards Deming established the Total Quality Movement, first in Japan and then in the rest of the world. Deming’s contribution is historically so important that U.S. News & World Report called him one of the “nine hidden turning points in history” (along with the birth control pill and the Apostle Paul). After over 50 years of research, Deming pointed out that in every process there is a beginning and an end. When you focus on the first 15% of that process and get it correct, you insure at least 85% of your desired outcome. By focusing on the first 15% of anything, the remaining 85% will typically effortlessly flow. “Getting the process correct”, when it comes to you and I, is all about ongoing training, education, personal growth, and personal development. Michelangelo said that, “If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so wonderful at all.” See, when we stop growing, we start dying. Will Rogers said that, “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” Thus, going forward is all about making choices and developing habits so that we consistently continue to grow and move forward as people. It is all about daily choices and daily habits which flow from an overall life focus of growth and personal development. Aristotle said that, “We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” Perhaps Joe Girard summed it up best when he said that, “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” This is also about having a coach and mentors. I really believe that a single conversation across the table from a wise person is worth years of research and study. Without going forward, we experience boredom, and bored people are typically not the ones who are empowered and serve, contribute, and add value. The story of the two travelers perfectly illustrates the fact that we either set things down, or we continue to carry them. Setting things down means a brief process of carrying in order to get to the other side, while continuing to carry means that many miles later, we are still burdened. We either move forward, or we continue to carry. It could be an event, a relationship, a job, or a heartbreak. In the end, we all need to ask this: Are you letting go and moving forward, or hanging on and continuing to carry? Abe Brown, MBA, is the Coach’s Coach, and is the CEO of Momentum Coaching www.momentumcoaching.ca , and the President of the Certified Coaches Federation www.certifiedcoachesfederation.com. Momentum Coaching has experienced triple digit growth for several years running, and the Certified Coaches Federation has trained and certified over 12,000 Life and Executive Coaches in the last 8 years. Abe does Leadership, Business, and Executive Coaching, and works with profit-based, and nonprofit organizations around strategic planning, cultivating fully engaged employees, and facilitating coaching and training programs. He has also worked with several small, medium, and large businesses to accelerate revenue growth and maximize engagement.
Release Negative Thoughts By Cheryle Cote
We have a tendency to review and analyze events in our life that didn’t go well, have caused us emotional upset or created stress for us. We have all done it to some degree or another. But when we hold on to these thoughts for too long and we ruminate, it begins to affect how we are functioning in our day to day life. When this happens, it may be time to find a way to release the pattern in order to live a more peaceful life. Re-hashing something negative in our mind over and over is not a supportive habit and can contribute to depression. And “habit” is what it can become. It will start to weigh heavy on our mind and set the tone for our outlook on life. So like any habit, it can be changed or replaced with something positive and supportive. Here are a few ways you can release negative thought patterns so you can begin to move forward. Choose well-being – make a commitment to yourself to work towards making the improvement for your well-being. Give yourself permission to get better and allow yourself the time and space to make positive changes. Acceptance – when we can accept that something has happened in the past and we can’t change it, we are freeing our energy to move forward. The important thing here is how you look at it. Look at the past negative event as a valuable learning experience. Write down the positive things you have learned from the event and how it can help you in the future. Snap Out of It – wear a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you find yourself gravitating towards negative thoughts, snap the rubber band on your wrist. By consciously doing this you will begin to train your subconscious mind to view the habit of negative thinking as a mildly physical painful experience and you will start to naturally avoid the negative thought patterns altogether.
into constructed sentences to be expressed, can feel like a release. Feelings can float around in our heads in a big jumbled mess and when we articulate them, it is a form of release and a way of getting them off our chest. You might want to burn the letter as another form of release, and to avoid unnecessarily reviewing the feelings at a later date. Forgive – if you have been hurt by someone and you keep rehashing the past with the “coulda, shoulda, woulda” routine (“I could have done this or I should have said that”), the best thing you can do is forgive. So many people think the act of forgiveness is condoning what the other person did to you. That isn’t it. Forgiveness is a way of freeing yourself from the experience. Think in terms of the other person’s behavior as all that they were capable of doing at the time and just let it go and forgive. The same applies with self-forgiveness. Don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes. Gratitude – one of the best ways to turn negative thoughts into a positive direction is to look at what you have in your life that you are grateful for. At the end of each day make a list of five things that you are grateful for. This will keep you anchored in the present so you won’t be as inclined to dredge up negative past events in your mind. Realize that all of our experiences and our perceptions of reality is an inside job. What you see and experience around you is a reflection of your inner world. We perceive our world through our own filters and we are only aware of the world around us from what we have happening inside our mind and with our attitude. Choose to let go of negative thought patterns so you can live a more positive, nurturing, peaceful and fulfilling life. Cheryle Cote helps empower people through her Hypnotherapy, Health & Wellness and Life Coaching programs. www.cherylecote.com
Positive Visualization – along with the “snap out of it” technique, take it a step further and replace the negative thought with a visualization of a positive movie in your mind. Create a detailed visualization (your own movie) of how you would like things to be in your life, now, or in the future. Engage all of your senses as much as possible. This pulls you away from reviewing the past and, instead, helps you to work towards creating a positive future with goal setting. Dear Self – write a letter to yourself to release whatever is weighing heavy on your mind. Sometimes, formulating feelings
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A Lit tle
By Christina Marlett
Have you ever experienced a Little Big Thing? Perhaps you need to know what that term is before you answer that question. Let me explain.
The action of taking off the earrings was Little. Noticing who I had become in order to take that action was really Big. So Big that I shared it with the workshop participants. They nodded their heads and I could tell that they identified with my experience.
When I first encountered the world of personal development, I thought it was most beneficial to experience big, significant transformations. It took me a few years, but I eventually learned that those gigantic Aha moments were awesome at the time but then took months to integrate.
A few weeks later, I was having a private session with a client who had attended the workshop. I asked her what she would like to share with me.
What I’m more interested in now, for both my clients, and me are Little Big Things. These are subtle incidents or moments when you notice that you’ve had a major shift, but it happened so gradually that it was painless.
She shared that she had been hiking, one of her favourite pastimes. She was enjoying her walk but noticed that her boot was bothering her. In the past, she said that she would have tried to ignore it, fought through the pain and settled for the discomfort. This time, something different happened.
I noticed a Little Big Thing once, at a workshop I was facilitating. The workshop involved lots of explorative movement because I find that the quickest way to get to the truth is through our bodies, using mindful movement. I always love to dance along with the participants at my workshops. I was really going for it, reveling in the freedom I felt in my body as it brought the music to life. However, there was something holding me back. I was wearing big, black, dangly earrings and after a few minutes of dancing, I noticed that they were banging against my head. I toned down the movement so that they wouldn’t hurt me. Then I really got into the movement again, and the earrings resumed bashing against my neck and skull. I didn’t really feel so free after all. An older version of me would have put up with the discomfort and modified my movement. Then I had a moment that showed me how I had changed. A brilliant idea popped into my head. I could take off the earrings! Even more notable was the fact that I took action and removed the jewels. Talk about Freedom! Once I took off the earrings, there was nothing holding me back and my movement became really delicious and enjoyable. I was able to complete the exercise without distraction or regret. This is an example of a Little Big Thing. It wasn’t rocket science to take off my earrings. However, in that moment, I realized that I had become a person who wouldn’t settle for being uncomfortable or for letting a little something hold me back from full self-expression. It was wonderful to let go of that older version of me. Winter 2017
A big grin spread across her face and she said, “I had my own Little Big Thing!”
She said that she remembered my story about my earring and how taking it off allowed me to move much more freely so that I could enjoy the experience. She decided to pause her hiking and investigate the boot problem. In all her years of hiking, this was a first. She sat down, removed her boot and found that her sock was wrinkled. She adjusted it, put her boot back on and was delighted to find that the problem was solved. She enjoyed the rest of the hike with an enhanced awareness of how good it felt to be walking pain free. The Little Thing was that my client stopped and fixed her boot. Doesn’t sound like much, right? The Big Thing was that she chose to listen to her body, which was a skill we had been working on in our sessions together. She chose to pause and honor the message the pain was sending her. In the past, she would have tried to overcome her body and fought through the pain. This time, she realized that taking a moment to investigate ended up making the rest of the hike exponentially more pleasurable. Not all personal transformation has to be dramatic. In fact, I’ve noticed that it’s much more delightful and sustainable to have Little Big Things pop up into my awareness. They are indications that something significant is happening just under the surface. Now you can be on the lookout for your Little Big Thing too. Christina Marlett, Founder Courageous Self-Care
Productivity and Massage Therapy By Jill Burk
Everywhere I look lately people are talking about productivity, getting more done in a day, more done faster, and increasing work life balance by better using our time. This has always been an issue for me, I run a business and have 20 people who work for me, and all of them seem to want or need me at the all at once, and usually at the same time as my children and my husband also demand my attention. I am not alone; when I talk to clients and staff they all have these same elements of productivity stress in their lives. Not only that, we don’t want a different life, most of us are pretty happy with what we have, and some of us are looking to do more, not less. As women this is especially true, we put extra pressure on ourselves to not just do what we have to, but we also want and need to take care of our families, spend meaningful time with people that matter to us, and go the extra mile in all our commitments. In this incredible balancing act, it is somewhere between hard and impossible to find time in a regular, meaningful ways to take care of ourselves. Massage does help, by taking an hour out of your week or your month to allow someone else to take care of you; you are doing yourself and your loved one and colleagues a giant favour. Not only does massage give your physical body the chance to release pain and stiffness, massage releases a slew of the “feel good” hormones. Endorphins and serotonin, both hormones that give you a feel good high, are released into your system. This release helps put the world into a better perspective, making problems seem much easier to conquer, helping our brains with complex calculations and reducing the mistakes that happen when we rush or are feeling too much added pressure. While at the same time massage is shown to reduce cortisol in the saliva of clients, this stress hormone can lead us to that feeling of paralysis that happens when we have a thousand things to do, and they all need to be done right now. We know that women especially feel the need to multi task, often because there are so many, real, immediate demanding pressures on our time. But we also know that trying to do too many things at once slows everything down, leading to loss of productivity. And increased feelings of overwhelm and even the feeling that life is impossible. By taking the hour to clear your mind, while relaxing your body, massage sends us back into the fray calmer, more focused, and ultimately more productive. In addition when we are feeling good, not only does life seem to flow more freely, with things getting done a little easier, but when we are spending time with those we love it is more enjoyable, further recharging our batteries. So take some time out to get a massage this week, you will be glad you did. Jill Burk, Owner Health Span Inc, and Health Span North www.yourhealthspan.ca
WISDOM FROM THE AKASHIC MASTERS:
Let It Go
By Christy Lowrance
I was so happy to hear that the theme for this issue is ‘Letting Go’. This is such an important thing for us to do on a daily basis and it seems to be highly important in the collective consciousness right now. I’ve been astounded by how much I keep overhearing everyone saying lately “You just gotta let it go!” We just have to keep releasing what we can so we can enjoy our short time here on Earth. From small frustrations that have a way of ruining your whole entire day, to intense sadness, loss and pain that affects us for years, we have to consciously work towards accepting the experiences we have and let go of the emotional blocks they cause that keep us from moving forward. This, I believe, is easier said than done and can take lifetimes to reconcile, but let’s give ourselves some high fives for what we do accomplish in letting go here and now. A great lesson I learned about letting go came from my mom who is a Feng Shui practitioner. In Feng Shui, it is said that if you bring in something new you must get rid of something old. It is an essential part of maintaining healthy balance and flow. For example, if you buy a new sweater you should get rid of an old one that doesn’t serve you anymore so that you don’t build up too much clutter. I find I choose the ones that have significance from a time or phase that has past and I’ve moved on from (like the 80’s haha). I don’t need to hold on to those memories that I’m reminded of every time I put it on or see it. Sometimes it’s a hard decision and I need some convincing to let it go, but if I don’t my closet gets ridiculous and I can’t function properly. I have been applying this principle to my emotional closet as well. For years I have been trying to recover from a very emotionally painful life event. No matter how hard I try to ‘get over it’ I just can’t seem to fully let it go. Before, there just wasn’t enough room in my emotional closet for the good things to come in because the sadness and hurt was taking up all of the room in there. After much hard work and ‘clearing the clutter’, I am finally replacing feelings of not being good enough or worthy with feelings of confidence, love and real happiness. It has been a long and arduous process, much like the frustrating task of deflating an air mattress rather than popping a balloon. Of course, it was important to have time heal my wounds. Letting the anger and blame slowly seep out has helped me see my own responsibility in this life of mine,
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and given me back control of how I feel about myself. I’ve had the control all along but I didn’t know how to wield it and was probably more comfortable with it being in someone else’s hands. Well, now I’m not as vulnerable as I was and another lesson has been learned. Go me! Hopefully my own fumbling around in life will help you feel like you are not alone and you can learn from my mistakes. I put this topic to the Masters in the Akashic Records to offer some more guidance on ‘Letting Go’: We love that you are sharing a piece of yourself in this article! Sharing and supporting each other are key ways of letting stuff go. The act of verbalizing it is literally releasing it and is very therapeutic. You know how everyone says that when you go to counselling they just ask you questions and the psychologist just sits there and listens, but somehow you feel better after the session? It isn’t about the other person listening or fixing your problems, it is about you vocalizing them and letting it out. So many of you hold in what you are going through and if you just talked to your friends and loved ones you might find that you are not so alone in how you feel. Most of you know this but you do not do anything about it. We suggest even standing in front of the mirror and telling yourself what you feel. Cry it out, be your best friend. You might feel like a goof but you will be releasing it and you will be an inch closer to healing it.
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Christy Lowrance firstname.lastname@example.org p: 587.888.9788 www.forestspirithealing.com
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Then LAUGH! This is the biggest release of all besides crying. Even better is when you start crying because you are laughing so hard! Just take yourself back to a time when you laughed so hard your belly hurt, your face hurt, tears came out and you couldn’t stop. Those are the moments in life you will remember. Go and do things that make you feel like that again. If it is watching a funny movie or TV show by yourself, or being with friends who make you feel like that, make time for it. Many times people don’t believe they can have fun like that, or won’t allow themselves to. In the case of loss, it is so soothing to remember the good times one had with the person gone than it is to focus on the pain of not having them anymore. Remembering a time or experience that made you smile won’t get rid of the suffering, but it will help heal the pain one smile at a time. You are here to experience love and light in a world of duality. This is not easy. When you pass over to the other side and you reflect on your life, you will be looking for the good. All that will matter to you is how you made others feel. Your experiences are meant to shake your world up. Go and find the light in all of them. Christy Lowrance Certified Akashic Record Reader www.forestspirithealing.com
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By Cindy Drummond
Disney has taken some heat over the last several years for encouraging girls to be princesses waiting for Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet and while I don’t agree with this fairy tale philosophy I do think some of my most important lessons were found in the lyrics or phrases of my favourite Disney songs and movies. We can spend hours combing through the shelves in the selfhelp section at Barnes and Noble hoping to discover happiness, self-love and forgiveness, or better yet, why not make yourself comfortable on the couch, turn on Netflix or dust off your VHS recorder and settle in for a weekend of The Lion King, Hercules, Pocahontas or Frozen. As soon as you hear the upbeat chords of Hakuna Matata from The Lion King, you will be singing along remembering that it means no worries for the rest of your days. It’s so simple, yet true. Life is so short and much too precious to spend time worrying about the little things or Sweating the Small Stuff as Richard Carlson suggests. Hercules went from zero to hero in this Disney flick and every line in Go the Distance resonates with me as it reminds me of the advice I might read in any of Brene Brown’s books. I can go the distance | And I'll stay on track | No I won't accept defeat It's an uphill slope | But I won't lose hope | Till I go the distance | And my journey is complete Sounds a bit like Rising Strong, doesn’t it? Look at the lyrics in Colours of the Wind You think you own whatever land you land on | The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim But I know every rock and tree and creature | Has a life, has a spirit, has a name You think the only people who are people | Are the people who look and think like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger | You'll learn things you never knew you never knew WOW! I am sure there are a number of books that talk about making assumptions about other people. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is one of my favourites and Deepak Chopra teaches detachment and acceptance which basically means focus on yourself and don’t judge others. And of course, Let It Go from Frozen, which was the Disney blockbuster from last year. Shall we sing it together? Let it go, let it go! All the words of wisdom you need are entwined within the magic of Disney because as you know, When you wish upon a star… Just a thought...
Express Your Innate Power
By Dr. Alma Nenshi, Family Chiropractor
The Power that made the body heals the body. You have the innate wisdom to live the life you were designed to live. By letting go of negative thought patterns and destructive energy, you release what holds you back in life. Not only does this create more capacity for gratitude and abundance, it helps you deal with stresses in a healthy fashion while recharging your life with energy! Give yourself permission to de-stress and heal from above-down, inside-out, physically, chemically, emotionally and spiritually. Recharge by living intentionally with integrity, honesty, kindness and love. Still if you are always feeling tired and no amount of rest fully recharges your batteries, take stock of what's important in your life. Is there incongruity between your thoughts and your actions? What must you do to course-correct? True healing, be it physical, emotional, chemical or spiritual, only occurs when 3 things are in place. First you must restore your energy reserves. Second, you need to remove or cope with all stresses that deplete your energy. And third, you must be able to organize your body’s energy into healthy function. Healing cannot occur when the body is in crisis. Below are a few ways we naturally support patients in these three areas. Since the body uses DC current to regenerate itself, we offer modalities that rely on DC current to help restore the body's natural healing energy. Frequency Specific Microcurrent (FSM) is a low risk, non-invasive and incredibly effective therapy for nerve and muscle pain, inflammation and scar tissue. In a study with patients suffering with fibromyalgia associated with neck trauma, FSM reduced inflammatory cytokines IL-1 by 75% in only 90 minutes and reduced pain from average of 7.4/10 to 1.4/10 in 90 minutes. Our Erchonia PL-5 laser also increases energy at a cellular level while acting like a calculator that subtracts pain, while our BrainTap light and sound therapy clinically calms brain stress using brain entrainment technology to promote healing. Of course plugging the holes in a bucket is just as important as filling it. Over-utilizing vitamins and supplements can tax the detoxification systems unnecessarily. While we can identify the specific supplements that best support your body’s needs, we can also help you wean off those that you may no longer need. Finally, it’s not enough to just replenish your energy reserves, you must convert this energy into healthy biological functions, a process controlled by a delicate network of communication pathways called your nervous system. By alleviating stress on the nervous system, chiropractic adjustments enhance the functional health of everything the brain controls, including your digestion, reproduction, hormones, cardiovascular system, energy, pain, etc.
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Most importantly, a healthy nervous system allows you unrestricted access to the innate wisdom within you, the source of all your inspiration, intuition and healing. Your nervous system is your lifeline to your inner Power, enabling you to live the way you were designed to live, strong, healthy, happy, vibrant, loving and full of energy and potential! As Wayne Dyer reminded us numerous times during his life, "Row, row, row your boat gently DOWN the stream." When you are able to let go and follow your intuition, you allow yourself to be an instrument of the Power that created the universes, directing your life as part of a greater plan. New thoughts and ideas will inspire you to take action steps you otherwise may not have considered, but will ultimately accelerate you towards your life's path and purpose. Your life will unfold and manifest in ways you never expected. All you have to do is stay connected to your Power and trust in the process.... Then sit back and enjoy the ride!
Dr. Alma Nenshi, Family Chiropractor Chiropractic Wellness Clinic www.CalgaryWellness.com
M A R K YO U R C A L E N DA R Chiropractic Wellness Clinic
Dr. Alma Nenshi's Health Talks are FREE! Limited seating so reserve your seats. Visit CalgaryWellness.com for information. Winter Health Problems Immune System Boost, Arthritis, Chinook Headaches, Osteoporosis, SAD & More! Saturday, November 26 | Noon Infertility & Pregnancy Fertility depends on your brain and body’s ability to handle stress, physically, chemically, emotionally and electromagnetically. Understand the role of stress and it’s impact on your chances for a healthy conception and pregnancy. Wednesday, November 30 | 6:00pm Stress, Fatigue & Depression How stress impacts your brain & body plus strategies to de-stress & boost your energy. Wednesday, December 7 | 7:00 pm Chinook Headaches Wednesday, January 25 | 6:00 pm Hormones & Weight Loss Saturday, February 4 | Noon Frozen Shoulder Solutions Saturday, February 25 | Noon Blood Pressure & Heart Healthy Lifestyles Wednesday, February 22 | 6:00 pm
WOMEN’S HEALTH Dr. Nenshi’s Chiropractic and Functional Neurology treatments improve communication between your brain and your body. Hormone Imbalance and Weight Loss Migraines & Headaches Fatigue & Depression Pre-Menstrual Syndrome Infertility Pregnancy Memory Loss Progressive Weakness Numbness & Tingling Chronic Pain Muscle Spasms & Cramps Restless Leg Syndrome Balance Problems Tinnitus & Vertigo Allergies & Sensitivities Scars & Fasciitis Poor Circulation Healthy Aging
Let us help you express your full health potential!
Call today to set up a FREE Consultation
Dr. Alma Nenshi, B.Sc., D.C. DOCTOR OF CHIROPRACTIC
Letting Go of The Diet By Lois Hamilton
What is your first thought when you hear the word – diet? Write down the thoughts that come to mind and take a good look at them. Do they look something like this: >sacrifice > difficult > tasteless > frustrating > unsatisfying? Why are you doing this? Diets are typically designed as a temporary measure that entices people based on the premise that there is something wrong with them. This fear based call to action sets people up for unrealistic expectations that feed into an “acceptable societal norm”. First and foremost, a shift in attitude is required. As the late Dr. Wayne Dyer puts it in his book with the same name, “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life”! Think of yourself as the perfect, unique being that you are! You love other people ~ you deserve that love from yourself too. Take the time to truly accomplish this and you will find inner peace and joy with yourself and the world around you. Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” is a great place to begin. When you love yourself, you feed yourself nourishing foods, you move your body in ways that appeal to you and that support maintaining healthy bones, muscles and flexibility. You develop healthy habits that ensure adequate sleep, clean air to breathe and enjoyment of nature with which we are one. You do all this not because of living up to somebody else’s expectations but rather you do this because you love and respect yourself. What you end up with is a LIFE CHANGE; a sustainable plan that honours the unique individual that you are.
Healthy Sustainable Eating/Drinking Plan • 2 litres filtered water daily including one glass upon awakening • Copious amounts of fresh green vegetables from kale to cucumbers and in between • Lots of other fresh vegetables like squash, carrots, onions etc. • Small amounts of sea vegetables like dulse, kelp, hijiki etc. • Moderate amounts of fresh fruit, especially berries • Small amounts of presoaked nuts and seeds • Small amounts of whole grains like quinoa, buckwheat or amaranth • Moderate amounts of legumes • Hormone and antibiotic free beef, lamb and poultry • Wild sustainably caught fish • Healthy fats like extra virgin olive oil, virgin coconut oil, virgin avocado oil, unrefined flaxseed oil (never heat flaxseed oil), avocados and nuts When you eat whole, unrefined foods, your body will adjust to its needs and as long as you listen to your body, you will eat as much as you need and not more. Your body’s natural and healthy shape will naturally be maintained. Remember that your plan can and should be tweaked throughout the years as your body changes and your thoughts change. We are always changing, we are DYNAMIC! So, embrace your dynamic beautiful self and begin a LIFE CHANGE!
Lois Hamilton, Certified Holistic Nutritionist and Natural Nutrition Clinical Practitioner Holistic Health with Lois www.holistichealthwithlois.com
As you are learning to love yourself, begin making your plan for a life change. Do this at a pace that is comfortable to you and above all, be patient with yourself. Here is a suggestion as to how it could go. 1. List the foods/drinks that you consume and the reasons why (is there emotional eating involved, are you “satisfying” a craving, are the cravings ever “satisfied” are the cravings controlling you, do you just not care enough about yourself to make better food choices) 2. Look at situations or events where you tend to make undesirable food/drink choices that you end up regretting later. Develop strategies to overcome these habits. Do this lovingly. No judgment. 3. Within the guidelines of healthy eating/drinking (see below) develop a strategy with menu ideas, recipes, shopping sources and time spent preparing that suits you. Once you explore this, you will find an endless supply of choices. My advice is to think outside the box. Do not try to substitute old favourites. Remember – CHANGE! 4. Find a form of exercise that gets you jazzed! Is it golfing, hiking, cycling, yoga, qi gong, gardening, jogging or going to the gym? Keep trying until you find the activity that fits. Fit this into your schedule. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. There’s no such thing as not having time, its matter of priorities. 5. Get enough sleep. Inadequate sleep plays havoc on the hormones to say nothing of the state of mind. Remember those 24 hours. How do want to spend them? 6. Is your air clean? Remove pollutants as much as possible so that you can deliver oxygen rich clean air to those beautiful cells!
A holistic nutritional approach can provide improvement for: • digestive disorders • stress related issues • allergies/intolerances • dietary restrictions • acid/alkaline balance • weight management • candidiasis
• asthma • liver health • cardiovascular health • hormonal health • bone health • fibromyalgia • chronic fatigue syndrome
Book a free consulatation or view a full list of services at www.holistichealthwithlois.com
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Recipes for healthy
Buddha Bowl Delight Bowl: ½ cup quinoa 1 tsp. turmeric 1 tsp. ginger ¼ tsp. salt
Paleo Meat Sauce with Low Carb Spaghetti Squash
1 cup chopped broccoli
3 cloves garlic, diced
½ cup green beans 1 red pepper ½ red onion, sliced
1 lb. ground turkey or chicken
1 large carrot, slivered
2 medium onions, diced
½ cup cashews
6 garlic cloves, sliced
2 tbsp. virgin coconut oil
2 tsp. ground cumin
2 small fresh tomatoes, diced in big chunks for garnish
1tsp. chilli powder
Balsamic vinegar to drizzle
1/4 cup dried oregano
Unrefined sea salt to taste
1 tsp. unrefined sea salt Fresh parsley for garnish
3 tbsp. virgin coconut oil
2 tbsp. tahini
2 jars of organic basil pasta sauce or homemade
1 tsp. unrefined flaxseed oil
1 spaghetti squash
Squeeze of lemon
• Preheat oven to 375°F • In a large pot, sauté onions and garlic in coconut oil for 3 minutes on medium heat. Add cumin and sauté for one more minute, stirring to coat onions and garlic and to prevent burning. Add choice of meat, chilli powder, and salt, stirring thoroughly until meat has browned. Add pasta sauce and turn down to medium low. Let simmer for at least one hour to allow flavours to blend. • Cut squash in half and scoop out seeds. Discards seeds or clean them for roasting later. In a large shallow pan, add about an inch of water and place the squash halves in with the flat side down. Place in preheated oven for about half an hour or until soft when pierced with a fork.
Black sesame seeds for garnish • Cook quinoa with first 3 spices. Cut the tomatoes for garnish and drizzle them with balsamic vinegar and sprinkle salt to taste. Let this sit while you prepare the rest of the dish. • Prepare vegetables and sauté in coconut oil, adding the cashews after 3 minutes. Meanwhile prepare the sauce by mixing ingredients together. Add the sauce to the vegetables and stir well. • When the vegetables are done to your liking, start building the bowl! Place cooked quinoa in bowls, add vegetables, top with tomatoes and black sesame seeds! Enjoy!
FEAR... is the Greatest Inhibitor to “Letting Go” By Hazel-Jane Kalyn
Fear of commitment…I might get hurt! Fear of failure…I might not be successful! Fear of death…I might die if I do that! Fear of the future…what will the future hold if I do this! However, as Franklin D. Roosevelt said in his first inaugural speech in 1933, the “only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. Do not get me wrong!!! Fear is a critical response to danger and we require it for our protection from legitimate threats, however, if left unchecked can seriously inhibit our lives causing us to avoid experiences that are far from life threatening. Fear if not contained can cause us to hold back from being all that we can be and prevent us from living full, exciting and rich lives. EVERYONE has bad experiences and depending on how traumatic these experiences were will determine how strong our fear response will be. The more devastating the experience the harder it becomes to quell the fear within us, but yet, exposing ourselves to our personal fears is an essential way to move past them. There is no “EASY” way to confront your fears, but one thing I can tell you from my own life experience is the rewards for conquering the demons that haunt you by far outweigh the risks. When I was five my family visited friends who lived on a ranch in the Teton Mountains. All the other children were outside playing and I was sitting quietly in the house. My Father told me that I was to go outside and play with the other kids. As I walked outside towards the barn the boys came running out from behind it holding a 2 or 3 foot Boa Snake they had found. When they saw me standing there they decided it would be a good idea to throw
it at me. As I saw it flying towards me I felt a sense of fear that I had never experienced before. I don’t think I have ever run so fast in my whole life but I am sure I was in the house long before it hit the ground. On that day my greatest fear was born! I didn’t even realize how deep my fear of snakes was until I went on a field trip with my daughter’s kindergarten class to a pet store. When we walked in the first thing I saw was a cage with a big, fat and, what I considered, ugly snake. I let out a yelp, started to shake, hyperventilate and sweat…I thought I was going to pass out…so I had to tell the teacher I needed to wait outside. Needless to say both my daughter and I were embarrassed by my reaction. That evening when it was story time my daughter brought a children’s encyclopedia and told me we were going to read about snakes. As we read she took my hand and told me to touch the picture. “See Mommy” she said, “snakes aren’t so bad and you have nothing to be afraid of”. That was the beginning of the process to conquer my fear. It has taken me years to let go of my fear of snakes, but now…30 years later I live 6 or 8 months of the year in a country where there are 135 varieties of snakes, some of the deadly in the world, something I would never have imagined myself doing back then. I go on adventure hiking trips into the jungle, sleep in a hammock strung up between two trees and eat snake if that is what is offered (it is actually quite good). Don’t get me wrong I am NEVER going to have a snake as a pet but the fear has been replaced with a healthy respect. Letting go and conquering this overwhelming fear has allowed me the opportunity to pursue the greatest adventure of my life! Hazel-Jane Kalyn, Synthesizing life’s critical elements…Family, Friends, Fitness and career. ACE Certified Personal Trainer/Fitness Nutrition Specialist Integral Training Services Inc.
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A Musical Perspective on Life By Serge Mazerand I tend to hear, feel and even see music everywhere. Being a musician, I am admittedly a little biased, but, come to think of it, we all are–– musicians, that is. We hum, we whistle, we sing and swing. Our everyday vocabulary is infused with musical terms: we resonate with people, things strike a chord, we feel upbeat or downbeat, we act in concert and on and on it goes. More importantly, we have within us two immensely powerful instruments, the brain and the heart. The brain is the keyboard that plays the music our mind composes. The heart is the metronome that beats the rhythms of our emotions; the soundboard that amplifies the subtle music that plays within us. So, in effect, we have all we need to make beautiful music. Or do we? Are we really creating our music? And assuming we are, do we actually truly play it on the stage of everyday life? Hardly. The question then is: What does it take to become the composers and the conductors of a harmonious life symphony? Today and in three sequential articles, I’ll share with you a musical perspective on creating harmony within, expanding on insights I have gathered in my new book 7 Keys to Serenity. In fact, I would like to invite you to imagine being the conductor of a huge orchestra, an ensemble that counts trillions of musicians who play the sacred music of your life: your cells. To be that conductor, you’ll need to cultivate the art of listening, which is precisely what my first key, A, stands for: Awareness. It is the master key that opens all doors or, to stay in our musical analogy, the note that is sounded before the concert begins, bringing all instruments of the orchestra to play in complete connectedness around one standard frequency––in the Western music system, that is.
Awareness helps us to attune to our bodies and minds, to listen––like the conductor listens to his orchestra––to the subtle music they play, correcting and adjusting the volume and rhythm of our emotions. Our cells vibrate at different frequencies, according to which section (organ) of the body they are playing in. Yet, by nature, they all play together, in holistic coherence and connectedness, executing a symphony called homeostasis, a wonderfully balanced piece of music that keeps us well and alive. At one point or another, however, some of these cells may begin to play out of tune. If you, the conductor, don’t notice this discordance in time, the initial harmony might, over time, degenerate into a cacophony, creating a lack of ease and therefore dis-ease. Awareness empowers us to live in authenticity, to discover, accept and be who we truly are. To sing our own song. Life is an ongoing performance, yet, how often do we play music that does not really resonate in our hearts and souls? If we are not in accord with ourselves, if the music does not resonate with us, how can it possibly resonate with others? Awareness makes us realize the existence of the laws of attraction and resonance. Like attracts like. So, when we attune to a given thought frequency, we attract similar frequencies. In other words, you get what you think about. Although this sounds a bit clichéd, it is a very powerful universal law that needs to be kept in mind at all times. What we think, how we think, creates our reality. In the next issue of this magazine, we’ll examine an arena where awareness plays perhaps the most important role yet: our belief system, the matrix where our thoughts are created.
Serge Mazerand, Pianist – Composer – Recording Artist – Keynote player Author of new book: 7 keys to Serenity keystoserenity.com/book/7-keys-to-serenity
But how exactly do we define awareness on the stage of life? No doubt we all experience on a daily basis the symptoms of its deficiency: the eye glasses or the car keys we desperately look for, our vehicle itself we spend a frustrating amount of time locating in a busy parking lot; and on and on it goes. We simply don’t pay attention. We often speak about mindfulness or consciousness. But awareness is much more. It involves intuition. Rather than a state of simple mental alertness, it is a balanced combination of mind and heart, a seamless integration of doing and being, of thinking and feeling our way through life. We might want to compare it to an embedded antenna that allows us to naturally and effortlessly scan our inner and outer environment, detecting the subtle variations that take place beyond the denseness of our five senses. So how exactly is awareness going to help us create this harmonious life symphony? First, rather ironically, we must create silence. We do this through deep breathing and pausing. Pauses help us create a few “intermissions” in our daily routine, during which we disengage and become the observer, looking at and listening to ourselves from way above, like a disembodied entity, an angel of sorts––often shaking our heads in disbelief, to be sure. We then come to realize how caught up we have become in the autopilot mode, driving our lives mindlessly like we tend to drive our cars. Awareness will help us align our thoughts, words and actions, creating in the process vibrations of similar frequencies and therefore overall coherence and clarity. Harmony in music is all about alignment, coherent and balanced combinations. And so it is in life. And yet, how often do our actions contradict our values? Incoherence leads to conflict, subtle as it is. Unbeknownst, we deplete our reservoir of internal life-energy by allowing what science calls “destructive interference” to take place. The result is dissonance, false notes and disempowerment. Winter 2017
In book stores & online keystoserenity.com
Letting Go of Unhealthy Expectations in Relationships By Eileen Head
Many of us have “relationship expectations” and we are unaware how much these influence us. The definition of expectations is that it is a feeling or strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future, about how successful, good, etc., someone or something will be. What are some unhealthy relationship expectations? 1. It is up to you to make me happy. 2. If you loved me, you would know what makes me happy. 3. A compatible couple has the same views and likes the same things. How many of you can relate to these beliefs which are generally unconscious? These are what can damage, cause conflict and distance partners. As we become more aware, we realize that if we maintain these beliefs, it is going to be very difficult to have a successful relationship. Why is that? Other people’s expectations of you create pressure and judgment. You are doing it wrong, do it my way, as I see it. And then if you take it on, now you have to attempt to live up to the expectation which can lead to people pleasing and giving up who you are and what you believe in. This will cause resentment and unrealistic expectations. So what is the key to happiness and loving relationships? In order to truly understand yourself and what you need to feel valued and loved, you will need to understand your personality. To fully love your partner, you will need to understand their personality, values and how they feel loved. Then together understanding each of your fundamental needs, you can create the loving and connected relationship. As I studied The Enneagram (any-a-gram) personalities, I was fascinated how uniquely different each of the 9 personality perspective differences were. How each personality has their own belief that created their personality and patterns of communication, relating, handling or not handling conflict, partnership style and what feels loving. It was like opening an Operator’s Manual for each personality and gaining true understanding. Couples can live together for many, many years and still not understand how they want to feel valued and appreciated. We tend to give to our partner what feels loving to us and does not feel loving to them.
For instance, Karen is a 5-Contemplator personality who operates from a logical perspective, are non-demanding, analytical, focuses on gaining knowledge, facts, data, research, and needs to detach to figure things out. Especially when there is an expectation for them to respond emotionally. They need to disconnect in order to come back and reconnect when they have it figured out how to respond. Karen is married to Darren, a 4-Expresser personality who is deeply feeling, authentically emotionally expressive, empathetic and sensitive. Expressers are original, creative, passionate, and have a unique style in the way they present themselves. They are very comfortable talking about feelings, opens to you easily and empathizes with your pain. They see beauty where others don’t. They experience life using all their senses and need to connect on an emotional level to feel loved. If each of them expected the other to respond to them from their own personality perspective, this could cause conflict, detachment and feeling unloved. When they understand, create more realistic expectations and welcome what their partner brings, it can expand and enrich their lives. When Darren understands that Karen’s detaching is not rejection but rather coming up with a strategy to respond, he can allow Karen her own process. A Contemplator will bring the gifts of being a good listener, calm in a crisis and more logical and solution based perspective. Darren’s gifts to the relationship is from an emotional basis. Not just seeing a sunset but experiencing the beauty of the colors like an artist’s canvas. When Expressers love it is from their heart and depth of their being. Expressers can bring the richness of emotion and the Contemplator can bring more grounding to the couple. Darren must understand allowing Karen her space is loving. Karen must understand that she must come back and reconnect on more of an emotional level for Darren to feel loved. So let’s look at healthy expectations: 1. W hen I understand myself and what makes me happy, then I can communicate it to you so you can love me the way I need. I am responsible for my own happiness. 2. Understanding your personality and I can respond to you in ways that know is loving to you. 3. A compatible couple will accept you for who you are, value your differences and allow them to enrich your lives together. Eileen Head, Personality & Relationship Expert International Best Selling Author, Speaker and Transformational Coach
Trifecta Magazine MIND | BODY | SOUL
Letting Go Of Judgment
By Carole Lewitski
Do you ever feel frustrated by the challenges that show up in your life? Do you find yourself wishing circumstances away or judging it as unfortunate or unlucky or even resenting that it’s showing up at all? There was a time, in my life, when I felt that as long as I was prepared, educated, informed, and enough of a prophet to be able to predict what could potentially show up, then I would be safe, I wouldn’t get hurt and I could avoid getting blind sided by life itself. I would try to plan things out, months ahead of time to ensure that it would all play out in a predictable fashion so that I could be ready for anything. Life would show up and it came with all the colors and shades imaginable, leaving me unprepared, grasping at anything that might seem similar to what I had played out in my head. Wishing to recognize any of the variances of how I had imagined my story might show up as. Mostly, if not always, it showed up as none of those versions that I had internally created, in preparation for what might be. Crushed by the unpredictability, and forced to submit to the reality that I was not and had never been in control, I started questioning all I had thought to be true. What if we’re not meant to be ready? What if the element of surprise is precisely the point of the lessons to be learned and presents us with the greatest opportunity to dive in deeper to the experience of the unknown? Sometimes when life shows up, we don’t like what we see. At first, I found myself blaming God and asking “Why would you do this to me?” The classic victim’s soliloquy, conversation with Infinite Wisdom. Eventually, I started understanding that a position of victimhood was highly disempowering and that perhaps, if anyone was inviting certain situations into my life, that maybe, on a subconscious level, that person was me. Well, at least that seemed to be an improvement from feeling victimized. But instead of blaming God, I found myself starting to blame myself. “You must not be spiritual enough that this would still trigger you…” or “I guess you haven’t quite let go of that one since it still causes you pain and it still pulls at you and affects you.” How interesting that this voice in my head would feel entitled to cast such judgment on what I eventually understood, was all perfectly being orchestrated for me. Letting go of what our life situations should look like and letting go of who we should be because society expects that of us or because of what we expect of ourselves, is a journey onto itself. When we have had a lifetime of practicing a certain way of being, coming from a place of “not being good enough Winter 2017
as we are”, it’s easy to see every opportunity as a moment to cut ourselves down, wish our situations away and ultimately judge ourselves with the inevitable destination of internal misery. What if there was a different way of seeing life and all the situations that show up? What if we could start letting go of the idea we made up, at some point in our lives, that our experiences here should look a certain way? Did you ever stop to consider that everything that shows up in your life is being perfectly orchestrated in every given moment? That the amount of care and precision that was put into our very creation cannot possibly be flawed and wouldn’t it be fair to assume that all other details throughout our lives are also being taken care of with the same kind of love and attention? So then, where does that leave room for judgment, or wishing our life situations, as they show up, to be any different than they are? Can we let ourselves be free of judging that we should be this way or that way, or more enlightened this way or that way? What if we just felt into every moment, the good, the bad and the ugly and loved that very part of ourselves fully? Even go as far as to love the part of ourselves that judges it all. Why not? What do we have to lose? There is freedom to be found when we can come to terms with the idea that life is always happening for our greater good, no matter what the circumstances might be. When we start leaning into that space that is free of judgment, the expansion available is limitless. No more being a victim of our life and instead what takes place is a renewed empowerment of seeing all of it as perfection. In that space where judgment doesn’t exist, you then realize that there is nothing else left to let go of. Carole Lewitski is a heart centered, intuitive mother of 8 who stays actively connected to her innate healing abilities through her gifts as an energy worker and Certified Awakening Coach. Carole’s biggest passion in life is relationship with Divinity and bringing the deepest level of compassion in her work with clients, taking them on a journey of remembering who they are and who they came here to be. www.expandingforward.com
PARENTING TIPS Cavallo Wellness Services Marianne Disipio-Vitale, CWC, B.Sc. OT
Coaching and Consulting for Parents Wellness Services for Children
COUNSELLING • GROUPS • EXPRESSIVE ARTS MEDIATED PLAYDATES • EQUINE ASSISTED LEARNING
Decrease School Stress By Marianne Disipio-Vitale
In this final part of our 4 issue feature, we will consider some final key strategies to consider including in your child’s daily life.
Try physical work before homework Many studies are revealing the positive effects of exercise on mood, and learning. Children who tend to worry expend a lot of emotional energy during the school day. Diving into homework right after school might not be very efficient. Just like adults, some children might do well by getting “out of their heads” and into their bodies. Getting physical right after school might actually increase attention and sharpen focus for homework.
Implement calming strategies in the morning Morning rituals can be as helpful as bedtime routines, as they set the tone for the rest of the day. Taking warm baths, having a proper sit-down breakfast, and practicing a quick relaxation technique, can help ground your child before taking on the day. If time is lacking, consider starting your day 20 minutes earlier. Although this might seem like a daunting task, it is well worth the initial adjustment.
Celebrate your child It is important to build a relationship based on acceptance, and not expectation or approval. Taking the time to celebrate the essence of your child for no particular reason is a powerful way to show your love. Examples of statements: I’m always excited to see you after school. I love being in your presence. You make my evenings better. It makes me so happy to watch you play soccer because you have the most beautiful smile on your face when you are having fun. Marianne Disipio-Vitale, CWC, CEH, B.Sc. OT, Wellness Counsellor Cavallo Wellness Services www.cavallowellnessservices.com 403-828-0242
Trifecta Magazine MIND | BODY | SOUL
Raspberry & Kiwi f illed Christmas Cookies By Marsha Hebert
I love the tradition of holiday baking, amid the scent of warm spices and chocolate. Sharing the gift of food is a time-honoured holiday tradition. However, those of us who are gluten-free and lactose-free the food sharing is not very enjoyable. Now, you can joyfully participate worryfree! I am eager to share my gluten-free and lactose-free Christmas cookie recipe. It is one that everybody can enjoy!
Ingredients: 1/2 cup gluten-free margarine, softened 3/4 cup granulated sugar
EAT for Life
EAT for Life
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COOK GOOD FOOD
Gluten-Free & Lactose-Free Nutritious, Better & Delicious
E volve with lifestyle A pplicable for better health T asty with delicious flavours
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1 egg yolk 2 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/8 teaspoon salt (optional) 2 cups spelt flour
Filling: 1/4 cup mashed fresh or frozen raspberries 1/4 cup mashed fresh or frozen kiwi • Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 2 cookie sheets with baking parchment paper. In a large mixing bowl, add butter and sugar. • Beat with electric beater for 2 minutes. • Add egg yolk, vanilla and salt (optional). Beat for 1 minute. • Add spelt flour and mix well with wooden spoon or spatula. • Scoop out tablespoon of mixture and shape into rounds. Use desirable cookie shape press and make enough room to add filling. • Use 1/2 teaspoon measure to add filling to cookie. • Bake for 8 to 10 minutes until edges are golden brown. • Let cool on cookie sheet for about 1 minute, then carefully transfer to wire racks to completely cool. You may need to add some extra filling on cookies.
Make 16 to 18 cookies
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How to Let Go of Being a Guilt Prone Woman By Bev Janisch If you’re a woman, the feeling of guilt is a close and constant companion. But unlike a close friend, guilt doesn’t feel great to hang out with. For years I felt guilty about everything. I felt guilty for working and then guilty when I wasn’t working. I felt guilty for doing too much for people and then for not doing enough. I felt guilty for having my own needs and guilty when I’d do things to take care of myself. I felt guilty when I felt I’d said something insensitive and then guilty for saying nothing at all. I felt guilty for not exercising and then guilty when my husband looked after the kids while I exercised. After connecting with so many other women, it was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone, and that guilt is a given in the lives of most women. Why is the feeling of guilt so prevalent in women? Guilt is considered to be the emotion that results from being “other person focused”. Guilt happens when we believe we either have, or are about to do something wrong. In contrast, anger and resentment occurs when we believe someone else has done something wrong to us. Women genuinely and deeply care about other people. Combine this beautiful caring quality, with the fact that we’re encouraged to believe we should put others first and have a deep desire to not be selfish, we’re creating the perfect storm for guilt to brew. Since guilt is so common in women, you’d think we’d be experts at dealing with it, but unfortunately we’re not. So how do we let go of guilt? I actually don’t think we do let go of it. I believe we transform guilt into an emotion that fuels our growth and reclaims our power. Trying to let go of guilt is like trying to push on a rope. It doesn’t work. Or, at least it hasn’t in my life. Transforming guilt, now that’s where the miracles happen. To transform guilt, we have to look at it head on and get a better understanding about the nature of our own guilt. I find it helpful to divide the feeling of guilt into two categories: light guilt and dark guilt. Light guilt fuels nourishing decisions while dark guilt spirals into sadness, depression and shame. Light guilt is the guilt you experience when you are faced with a decision that calls you to connect with your moral compass and values as a person. This type of guilt fuels you to make a decision that you know deep down feels “right” for you. It’s actually more of an anticipatory guilt, in that I don’t feel guilty in this moment, but if I don’t respond in a particular way, I will feel guilty. I call this light guilt because the anticipatory guilt actually directs your decision making, so you won’t have any regrets. This type of guilt is healthy as it fuels us to live in alignment with our highest selves. Dark guilt on the other hand is not aligned with our highest selves and weighs us down. It drains us of our energy and leaves us feeling depressed and lousy about ourselves. Dark guilt creeps into our lives when we don’t love ourselves enough and act out of a need for approval and is often associated with “I should” put other people before myself and if I don’t I’m a bad person. This type of guilt is problematic in our lives because it hinders our ability give ourselves permission to take care of ourselves and nourish ourselves. Dark guilt also happens when we don’t act in alignment with our highest selves and then feel badly and have a lot of remorse.
How then can we navigate through the mind field of guilt? I have found this process to be helpful in my own life:
Prevent Guilt When Possible Whenever possible, prevent guilt in the first place. Always ask yourself, how do I need to behave in order to have no regrets when I look back on this situation? When you ask yourself this question and then act from that place, you are acting from your highest self. Although the other person will benefit, you will not feel the anger and resentment that may arise if you feel you’re doing something just to avoid feeling guilty. Turn Towards Guilt When you are experiencing the feeling of guilt, turn towards it rather than trying to turn your back and avoiding it. Notice where it feels in your body and become curious about it. Does your guilt feel like anxiety, sadness, or something else? How intense is the feeling? How long does it last? What triggers it? Look For Meaning Begin to investigate what this guilt means and what it is telling you. This is where it’s helpful to identify whether this is a light guilt, which is meant to ensure your actions are aligned with your values, or whether this is a dark guilt that is destructive to your well being. Take Inspired Action Take action to transform the guilt. This is where the power and vibration shifts from something destructive to healing, expansion and release of negative energy. We accept responsibility for feeling guilty and either forgive ourselves or ask for forgiveness if forgiveness is required. We learn what we’re meant to learn from the challenges of the experience and we gain wisdom. Taking action may mean we need to learn how to set boundaries, develop greater self-love, learn how to say “no”, learn how to create space for ourselves in order to nourish ourselves without feeling guilty or transform limiting beliefs. Be Self-Compassionate Make an agreement with yourself, that you will wrap your entire experience of guilt in a big, warm, loving blanket of self-compassion, NO MATTER WHAT. The last thing you need when you’re feeling guilty, regardless of what triggered it, is to be hard on yourself and further amplify your feelings of guilt. Being self-compassionate with your guilt is the most loving and kind thing you can do to help you transform your guilt and move past it. Transforming guilt from a feeling that is destructive and erodes your happiness, to a powerful energy that fuels you to step fully into your best self is one of our greatest challenges of being a women.
Bev Janisch M.N., Certified Meditation Coach The Compassionate Mind www.thecompassionatemind.com
3-hour “Learn to Meditate” Workshop With
Mindful Living Coach - Bev Janisch Saturday, January 28, 2017 Time: 1 to 4 pm 1329 8 Ave. SE, Calgary, Alberta
Register at 403-510-4231 www.thecompassionatemind.ca firstname.lastname@example.org
Trifecta Magazine MIND | BODY | SOUL
The Most Important Person
in the World By Patrick Murray
When I speak to audiences or even my coaching clients, I will ask them, who is the most important person in the world for them? I get varying answers. I hear things like my spouse or partner, my children, all very unselfish answers and very commendable, but wrong on all accounts. In truth, the most important person in the world is you. All of us have our own little universe that revolves around us with us at the centre. By being at the centre of your universe, you are taking care of yourself, and you are living your life in harmony with your personal values. If you don’t put yourself first, your little universe begins to break down. Sometimes you need to put others first, and that’s all right from time to time, but doing so long term can be detrimental to your universe if it affects what is most important to you to be happy. You will start to live in somebody else’s universe. You will not be happy and you may lose your identity and your personal purpose in life, different for everybody. It also means that you will be less able to help others because you are not where you need to be personally. So how do you stay the centre of your personal universe? You need to recognize that you are of utmost importance. This may sound selfish, but sometimes it is all right to be selfish for the right reasons. When it comes to operating as a peak performing person, your goal in this one life here on earth, then it is absolutely acceptable. I’m not talking about shunning your children’s soccer games because you want to read a book by yourself or watch football on television. Your children are a large part of your universe and require your presence. I’m talking about making the time for yourself to treat yourself right and staying centred. Looking after yourself also means you need a positive internal dialogue with yourself. If you can’t be kind to yourself, why should anybody else be kind to you? You deserve the best, so speak respectfully to yourself. Don’t berate yourself. Be kind and gentle. If you are to be the captain of your universe then you had better command your own respect for yourself. Do you drop the ball from time to time? Of course you do. All of us do. You are human. This means you are allowed to cut yourself some slack from time to time. As an example, I consider myself to be an introvert with bouts of extrovert activity. This means that I need alone time. I don’t want to take time away from my family, so I try to carve it out in blocks of time during the week. I like to goal set, reflect, read and write on a regular basis and sometimes I just need to be. I also find that I require regular physical activity, so I time block it into my week, maybe get up earlier and do it for me because I feel better, refreshed and more focused if I get regular exercise and that alone time that I need. I require this within my universe. I also find that I am more kind to myself with my own internal
dialogue if I am looking after myself on a regular basis. Why is this the case? It’s because these positive personal activities build momentum for your own peak performance and carry over to other aspects of your person, such as that all important personal dialogue. By doing these all important personal activities, I have taken care of my personal needs, ensuring I am centred and making me a better peak performer in my other activities. This leaves me present and engaged. Without doing these things I feel lost and I am not present. Everybody is different. All of us are unique miracles of creation that are already perfect. Remember this always and know that you deserve to look after yourself! You will be happier and healthier for it and you will be the captain of your own universe, operating as your best self and an asset to those around you. Patrick Murray Speaker, Coach, and Author WTF – Wake Up . Transform . Flourish Attain the Wealth You Deserve & Live Large www.wtfbooks.ca
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Thoughts on Decision-Making
By Krystyna C. Laycraft, PhD
In the fall issue of Trifecta, I wrote that
IS NOT JUST WHAT
emotions are closely connected to our
it looks like &
choices and decisions. In some situations,
represent opposite values. These feelings create a chaotic state in our psyche. We
DESIGN IS HOW IT
cannot stay in such an exhausting mental state for long. Only
by prioritizing our values are we able to release the tension between feelings that are in conflict. The higher priority values always win this conflict and become the motivating factors for our choices and decisions.
In this article, I would like to share my thoughts on the decisionmaking process. Making decisions is recognized as one of the fundamental features of life. Decision, in Latin means, “cutting off.” When a decision is made, some possibilities are realized
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and others are eliminated. As possibilities are actualized, new patterns emerge.
Antonio Damasio, a Portuguese-American neuroscientist,
proposes that emotions play essential role in decision-
making. When we make a choice, a variety of mental images
or thoughts regarding that choice appear and disappear
feelings related to the choice. Damasio calls these thoughts
continuously in our consciousness. We also experience some
and feelings “somatic markers” because they’re signals
coming from our body. They may lead to the rejection of some
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options (negative somatic markers) or to the acceptance of
other options (positive somatic markers). The process of decision-making in our personal or social lives concerns our future and involves a great deal of uncertainty and Trifecta Magazine MIND | BODY | SOUL
complexity. Making a good decision means selecting a response
The final product of the sculptor’s work depends on many factors.
that will be beneficial for our wellbeing. But the process of
These include the quality of the stone and the skills, knowledge,
decision-making based only on rationality is enormously time
imagination, creativity, courage, and passion of the sculptor. The
and energy consuming. This is why, somatic markers help in
final product could be beautiful with extremely rich texture and
the selecting of options by quickly detecting an appropriate
smooth surfaces. But is could also be rough and full of fractures
scenario. But we have to understand that somatic markers are
and flaws. Similarly, the essence of our existence depends on
acquired by our experiences and are result of our interactions with the social and cultural worlds.
Decision-Making as Sculptor’s Work I compare the decision-making process to the work of a sculptor who shapes a block of stone to his vision. The stone is our existence and our life. Each decision can be seen one stroke by the sculptor. We are the sculptor. Before each stroke, the sculptor experiences hesitation and tension. He’s aware that each stroke influences the shape of his creation. He’s responsible for his actions. That’s what it’s like with our decisions. Each decision
our internal and external conditions. To live a meaningful life, we have to display the courage to make decisions and the openness to see what life is telling us.1 Krystyna C. Laycraft, PhD and Certified Life Coach, helps people to identify their emotions, how to respond to challenging situations that evoke negative emotions, and how to embrace positive emotions. If you need my help, please email me: email@example.com 1
Laycraft, K.C. (2015). The courage to decide. The philosophies on decision-making. Victoria, BC: AwareNow Publishing.
impacts our life. Through them we shape our existence and create our essence. Important life decisions are the strong strokes that knock off large portions of unwanted stone. The sculpture has to be very careful with his movement because the smallest mistake can damage the stone. Again, it is this same with our decisions. We know how important some decisions are and how they will influence our future. Once the general shape of the sculpture has been determined, the sculptor uses more delicate tools to refine the figure. These tools are generally used to add texture. This texture is like the richness and complexity of our lives, as formed by decisions of lesser importance. In the final stages, the sculpture uses sandpaper to smooth the surface of his creation. This process reminds us of the ordinary daily decisions that reveal the natural beauty of our lives. It is tedious work, but enormously satisfying. The relationship between the sculptor and the stone is reciprocal. The figure’s shape and texture depend on the skill and creativity of the sculptor. The stone speaks to the sculptor and dictates
KL Emotional Consulting Greater Awareness - Meaningful Life
Krystyna Laycraft is a Certified Life Coach who helps people who need to experience new freedom, novelty, and understanding. She offers seminars and workshops on the emotional needs of adolescents and adults, the role of creativity in their psychological growth, and the importance of decision-making.
Krystyna Laycraft, PhD Certified Life Coach Consultant/Author/Speaker
how it should be shaped. This is similar to some situations in our lives. Decisions shape our life, but our life continually gives us hints about what decisions we should make. Winter 2017
For information or registration email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Letting Go By Wendy Olson-Brodeur
Just stop a minute and think about letting go. What does that mean to you? How does that feel? Courage, energetic, fearful, exciting. harmful, why bother, status quo, control, where to start... All very real emotions. If you thought about letting go as it relates to a relationship, read on. Many of you have had a time in your lives where you wanted to just let go of someone. You may need to let go for the good of yourself, your health, their health, your children and the whole family. Letting go often comes with real fear. Fear is sometimes related to not knowing the outcome or what the future may hold. It may be, just not knowing where to start. Leaving any relationship is difficult. Leaving a marriage is a process onto itself and is often not understood. That makes sense as most of you have never gone down the road before. Some may have and vowed they would never do it again but voila here you are. It is through education and knowledge that you are able to understand, to choose an appropriate process and to make a plan that makes the best sense for you and your family. Too often people are not given any choices. Know that there are different options to go through separation and divorce. Some of those include self representation, mediation, lawyer assisted mediation, shuttle mediation, mediation/arbitration, collaborative process, traditional lawyer process, JDR, and going to court. Each process has its pro and cons and costs. In order to do any process it involves some level of cooperation or not, between the parties, including the professionals. Cooperation is often a matter of emotional stability. Going through a divorce is emotional, so why not engage a professional who can help get the emotion under control and if not for the health of everyone in the families so you can move forward in a better way. The options that include a team of professionals (financial neutrals, family conflict neutrals, parenting coaches, valuation professionals, collaborative lawyers, ect) who can move people forward is a much healthier and better way to go. Research has shown it. It is very sad to me that the emotional piece is not talked about or addresses more often. If we did that, then people could get on with life in a much better way, especially the children.
Free your mind, body and soul let us save you stress, time and money! A Financial Divorce Specialist can: • educate you on your options. • assist you in complicated processes such as True Income, Back Support, etc. • analyze your past, present and future values. • prepare your proposals for support and division of assets. A Registered Family Mediator can: • be a neutral 3rd party who can help you negotiate. A Certified Financial Planner can: • Offer you Financial Planning for your future • Provide Insurance quotes to cover support interruption such as death, disability, critical illness, accident etc. A Collaborative Professional can: • as part of your specially trained team help you reach a mutually respectful and healthy agreement. • ensure the interesets of all family members are heard and addressed. • help to keep you out of court.
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Moon Sister Art & Ceremony Circles near Bragg Creek or online.
Let go of the traditional process. Don’t just accept that it is the only way to proceed. Ask for the options, get educated and learn about the differences. Ask about Collaborative process or Mediation. Get help to make a plan to get to the other side and then let it go!
Wendy Olson-Brodeur is a Collaborative professional, Registered Family Mediator (RFM) who specialize in the financial (Certified Financial Planner CFP) aspects of a divorce (Chartered Financial Divorce Specialist CFDS) as well as works as a neutral professional with neutral family counsellors, parenting experts, and collaborative lawyers.
FIND YOUR TRIBE
120- 7015 Macleod Trail SW Calgary, AB T2H 2K6 Ph: 403-873-0292 www.wealthwellness.ca & www.tfds.ca
Trifecta Magazine MIND | BODY | SOUL
Changing a Daughter's Feminine Legacy by Healing the Mother Wounds By Dana da Ponte
Mother is such a beautiful word, isn’t it? For many it conjures up memories of a welcoming shoulder to lean on, a warm hug to fall into and a batch of fresh baked cookies to ease the pain of a bad day. But it’s also a complicated word – a word loaded with difficult memories and yes, sometimes a lot of hurt. Every woman experienced a unique relationship with her mother but not every woman blossomed in that relationship. Many women, despite their mother’s good intentions and well-meaning hearts, endured relationships with their mothers that caused issues that affect them to this day – and this often isn’t the mother’s fault. Being negatively impacted by the mother-daughter relationship is as common as it is because women, as a gender, have endured centuries of abuse, neglect, dismissal and oppression. We daughters of the women who earned the right to vote forget this. We forget our grandmothers’ history and this causes us to ignore some very important details about our own personal problems and challenges. The arguments we keep repeating with our spouses, the areas we feel disconnected from our children, the unhealthy patterns we keep repeating, the insecurity that plagues us, the mistrust we have of our own intuition and gut feelings, the areas in our lives where we can’t speak up, the competitive or inauthentic relationships we share with other women, the challenge we have with setting healthy boundaries and the way we feel removed from our passion and purpose can all be traced to the feminine legacy that runs in our family. If we don’t know what that legacy is, how can we hope to heal it? I work with women who have experienced complicated relationships with their mothers and the one thing I’ve come to understand is women are a brave and beautiful bunch. We are emotional warriors who, despite the pain and tears, face the scariest and most gruelling emotional battles with courage and determination – and we do it for our families, our marriages and because we want to take care of our communities and the world. We heal because we care. We heal ourselves and our own emotional wounds because we want to prevent our children from experiencing the suffering we endured. We talk about our feelings and dig up our past because we want to offer unconditional love to our spouses. We look at our issues and take responsibility for our emotional wounds because we want to heal the planet and make it a more peaceful place. We aren’t perfect but we care. We put other people’s needs ahead of our own. We empathize and carry the emotional burdens so others won’t have to. But the mother wound exists because women have been expected to do this. They have been forced to shoulder more than their share of the emotional labor in the family and in the world and it has left them depleted, spent and empty. And, in their emotionally depleted state, they’ve raised children – who had, of course, no choice but to become emotionally depleted also. Winter 2017
It’s not just that mothers have been raising children from an emotionally depleted state. It’s also that their femininity has been devalued and mistrusted. In our western culture, emotions, intuition and creativity are regarded as frivolous, unnecessary and ineffective more often than they are acknowledged as powerful and important. These ideas about emotions and intuition and creativity affected our grandmothers and they affected our mothers and they have most certainly also affected us. You can’t take that which is pure and inherent in women, put it down, devalue it and dismiss it and expect it not to affect the daughters of our world. This is a global problem and an ancestral problem which infiltrates and affects our personal lives – even in this enlightened, modern day. The Mother Wound is real and it is most likely affecting your life in one way or another. But healing the Mother Wound doesn’t have to be hard. It can be as beautiful as women coming together and supporting each other in healing circles. Women coming together to mother each other – spiritually and emotionally – heals the Mother Wound for every heart in the room who is witness to the healing. Sisterhood is medicine. And it is such an important medicine for mothers of daughters to take regularly. It will heal the past and usher women into a new relationship with each other and ultimately reunite each woman with her innate wisdom. And from her center she will navigate her life with her unique internal compass and her life will become her own. She will no longer apologize for having an opinion. She will no longer feel content with playing small to make someone else feel comfortable. She will no longer swallow her feelings, sweep the issues under the rug, cry herself to sleep without asking for help, expect herself to be a super woman, ignore her dreams, feel ugly in her body, settle for inequality, keep her mouth shut or feel like a bitch, value being nice to the point of sacrificing herself and take care of every single other person while putting herself and her needs high up on some abandoned shelf. Through the Mother Wound, we learned to abandon our intuition, our passions, our opinions, our needs, our magic, our creativity and our emotions. We sacrificed ourselves. Meeting with other conscious women in an authentic and sacred commitment to unconditional sisterhood, we can find ourselves again. And when we heal, our relationships heal, our children heal, our communities heal and our daughters are freed. Our daughters can lay down the Mother Wound and follow their hearts. But first it’s up to us. Let’s free our own hearts and show them how it’s done. Dana da Ponte hosts women’s circles online and in person near Bragg Creek, Alberta. Her Moon Sister Art and Ceremony Circles are for sensitive women who want to heal with the same group of women for a year. She uses art, intuition, ceremony and ritual to mend the Mother Wound and return women to their personal power. www.danadaponte.com
House Blessings and Spiritual Clearings By Tara
There are various reasons why you would want to have the energy rebalanced in your space; this particular house clearing experience will help you to understand the different dynamics that can create energy imbalances. It was roughly two years ago that I was asked to clear this house; the client was experiencing spirit in her home and was unnerved by it. Everyone in her family, believers or not, had experienced this visitation. They had either seen a figure move in front of their baby monitor, or felt the presence of someone standing with them, to their young child talking to someone at night; the presence was not being shy. As I walked around the house I felt a woman in a long white dress, with her hair in a bun on the top of her head; it felt like a motherly energy, and I could tell from what she was wearing that it was not a recent time. I described this woman to my client, and she felt it described her great grandmother on her mother’s side. This changed everything and now she wasn't completely sure about asking this spirit to leave; so we set some boundaries in place, asking that the nightly visitations stop, as her daughter needed to sleep. It brought comfort to my client to know that she had family with her in spirit; looking out for her family. I have to include this quick part because it’s fantastic, a year later I had a reading with this same client, and who showed up but her great-grandmother, now I was skeptical because I already knew of this spirit and thought I may be projecting what I was already aware of; so what did this cheeky grandmother do to get my attention? She spoke in another language! I thought I was losing my marbles, regardless of not knowing what was being said, I wrote down what it sounded like, and passed it on to my client. Neither of us were clear of the information I received, feeling absolutely no connection to it at all my client felt a little disappointed; until her own mother stepped in and translated the phrase, a phrase that was said to her as a child, in an Italian dialect not used anymore. Great grandma was still watching, and still spunky. Anyways back to the point, two years later I am called back by the same client to clear her home because it feels heavy. She is
trying to sell, and nothing seems to be going right. She lets me know how good her home felt from the last clearing, and wants that same feeling again. This time I ask her to help me, do what you are inspired to do; she enjoys the burning of sage so I asked her to sage while I perform my energy work behind her. This time was different, I did not pick up on spirit, but I did feel the energy. I began to pick up on the personal doubts and stresses of my client, that are private and I won’t share, but she understood immediately what I was talking about. The connections made, of the imbalanced feeling in the home, were that of the energy of the people; it is not always spirit.
We discussed various elements to work on in her life, within her own personal power, and I completed my visit with a blessing. She has since ensured me her house feels clean, as the energy was rebalanced; but I also feel a large contribution was made in the simple awareness of her own energy and how it had affected her space. We are energetic beings; our emotions are the energetic charges sending out vibes; which reflect our present state of being. Conflict, worry, doubt, a transition in the home, illness, or a passing; all of these things, and many more, can contribute to the energetic imbalance of your space. What is remarkable is the peace and harmony that is felt after a clearing, allowing you to move forward with the acknowledgment of your own being with greater ease. So yes we honor spirit as they pay us a visit, but we also honor ourselves and our own power in life as we tend to overlook it. Tara Intuitive & Lightarian Reiki Master www.tarotific.com
Trifecta Magazine MIND | BODY | SOUL
M A R K YO U R C A L E N DA R Chiropractic Wellness Clinic
Dr. Alma Nenshi's Health Talks are FREE! Limited seating so reserve your seats. www.calgarywellness.com See ad on page 13 Infertility & Pregnancy Wednesday, November 30 | 6:00 pm Fertility depends on your brain and body’s ability to handle stress, physically, chemically, emotionally and electromagnetically. Understand the role of stress and it’s impact on your chances for a healthy conception and pregnancy. Stress, Fatigue & Depression Wednesday, December 7 | 7:00 pm How stress impacts your brain & body plus strategies to de-stress & boost your energy. Chinook Headaches Wednesday, January 25 | 6:00 pm Hormones & Weight Loss Saturday, February 4 | Noon Frozen Shoulder Solutions Saturday, February 25 | Noon Blood Pressure & Heart Healthy Lifestyles Wednesday, February 22 | 6:00 pm
Miracle Mandalas Painting Retreat Sunday, December 4 A full-day spiritual art retreat where you will learn about the unique healing properties of mandalas while creating a stunning collection of painted mandala stones. No previous art experience necessary. www.danadaponte.com See ad on page 26
Meditation Evenings at Soul Food Crystals & Books
December 5, 12, 19 | 6:30-8:00 pm January 23 & 30 | 6:30-8:00 pm February 6, 13 & 27 | 6:30-8:00 pm March 6, 13, 20 & 27 | 6:30-8:00 pm Join us for meditation evenings where we enter the inner stillness and access our true nature. These guided meditations help you experience deep peace and contact the healing energy and clarity of the spirit. Instructor: Karen McPhee 3 classes for $45 or $20 per single class + GST. To register call 403.270.0410. Preregistration is required. Limited seating www.karenmcphee.com See ad on page 16
Palmistry ~ The Art of Reading Hands February 8 to March 1 | 6:30-9:00 pm Learn what your palms say about you by recognizing the lines, shape, mounts and areas of the hand, what they are and what they mean. Amaze your family and friends!
This is a fun "hands" on class filled with lots of information and time to look at everyone's palms. This is a four evening class. Instructor: Linda Perry www.soulfoodcrystals.com
Calgary Health Show
February 25 - 26 Stampede Park, BMO Centre Providing today's intelligent consumers with a platform to inform themselves on healthy choices for their family, pets, self and home. With over 100 exhibitors, see a wide variety of booths that are current with up to date products, information and services. www.thehealthshows.com See ad on back page
Become a Certified Life Coach
Edmonton: March 4 - 5, 2017 Calgary: March 18 - 19, 2017 A 2-day intensive course that will teach you everything you need to know to succeed. All Certified Coaches Federation graduates receive admission to their 1 year CCF Continuing Education Program at no additional cost. www.certifiedcoachesfederation.com See ad on page 6 For more upcoming events visit
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Bitch Book of
Vegan Swaps by Kim Barnouin New York Times Bestseller
Trifecta Magazine inspires well-being and mindful living through community connection while focusing on three aspects of health; Mind Body a...
Published on Nov 22, 2016
Trifecta Magazine inspires well-being and mindful living through community connection while focusing on three aspects of health; Mind Body a...