Page 1

tribe.


here’s to strong women. may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them.

www.tribe-magazine.co.uk


Creative direction and photography by Emily Salmon


Beyoncé said it best, “Who runs the world? GIRLS.” We work, we raise babies, we take care of our families and we make the time to look good doing it. Women are often underestimated, but one time a Nike advert told me that anything men can do, we can do better, so that’s how I know it’s true. We have way more on our minds than pumpkin spiced lattes, Ryan Gosling without a shirt on and the Kardashians. As Cyndi Lauper once said in a song, “Girls just wanna have equal pay, a decent man to love, a boss that doesn’t sexually harass her, not to get abducted by a stranger while on a jog and then maybe some fun, too” or something like that. Women are a lot more powerful if we see ourselves as fighters on the same side. But it’s easier to judge others, their choices and their bodies, rather than think about the struggles we all share. Tribe Magazine wants to create a community of women who are open, inspired, empowered and unapologetically themselves. We want to create a tribe of women who stand up for what they believe in, who motivate each other and stand strong. We want to tell stories and start conversations with stark honesty and wit. We challenge women to be responsible for their actions, raise their standards, stop compromising, and to use their power. We as women, set the expectation of how we demand to be treated. Women are constantly shamed for everything they do, so we may as well do what we want.

Emily x Editor in Chief

7

EDITOR’S LETTER

We as women, want what everyone wants: to be loved and appreciated, to be treated with respect, to have a solid group of friends, to have good hair days and to not get roofied and murdered in a back alley somewhere. It’s really that simple.


Creative direction and photography by Charlotte Wakeford


Creative direction and photography by Charlotte Wakeford


Beauty Boss Who will change the world? Girls! Feeling Fiery Girl Power Looking back at the decade Are Gen Z unhappy? Sari Not Sari Jewel Tones Living Happy Hidden Get that cash Dirty Thoughts C*nt Poem Sex Club Sensations PRIM.BLACK & OKHA Happy Fat

11

CONTENTS PAGE

14 18 30 36 40 52 54 58 62 64 68 70 73 88 90 96


12


Creative direction and photography by Charlotte Wakeford

13


Beauty beauty Boss We speak to Beauty Editor and CEO Samantha Freedman about her journey to success

Words by Emily Salmon

14


Here at Tribe we speak to beauty journalist and CEO Samantha Freedman. Samantha holds over 10 years’ experience within the beauty industry, working as a Beauty Editor for some of the most popular fashion and beauty titles across the globe; including Tatler, Grazia, Style.com, Look and Stylist. She is also a stylist with celebrity clients including Jourdan Dunn, Ashley Roberts and Zara Martin. Where does your love for beauty come from? I’ve always loved beauty. I remember being just 12 getting ready for parties, doing my own makeup but also all my friends too. We would dedicate hours on the weekends to get ready, organising who was going first for their makeover and what looks we wanted to create. Can you briefly tell us your journey from interning, to CEO of Just Add Beauty? After school I had no idea what I wanted to do or become. In a state of confusion, I signed up to an Art Foundation course at Kingston University, hoping it would help me define my love in art. If anything, it made me hungry to work instead of study, so I enlisted in as many internships as I could to help me define where I wanted to go. This in fact was the most valuable time I spent on my search. I discovered jobs I didn’t know existed, industries I’d never imagined I could work in, and best of all, the art of business. British Vogue was my first editorial beauty internship and I loved every minute of it. Still having been to Harper’s Bazaar, Good Housekeeping and Grazia, I believe it was the most invaluable experience with the most incredible, talented and kind journalists. I landed my first job at Tatler where I was Beauty Assistant. Then moved to Stylist Magazine, Look (which has sadly now closed) and Grazia. In total I worked at magazines for over a decade, but what made me want to be a business owner was my Dad. He asked me if I could see great progression in my career (I couldn’t at magazines as everything was moving into digital), did I earn good money (I didn’t as sadly journalists don’t earn great money) and did I love what I did (I did, but as magazine budgets cut my job was much more diverse, complicated, political and stressful than it had once been). That was when I took the leap...

How did you find these opportunities, and what advice would you give young people wanting to find internships and graduate jobs? I used every contact I knew to get internships, I never sat on an opportunity because I was too scared or lazy to email. I emailed everyone and anyone. And, most of all, I worked hard! I got my first internship as a friend of mine’s sister worked there, but I got the following and the next through recommendations. Never do an internship to just ‘put it on your cv’, and never give a half hearted enthusiasm, because the people you meet may crop up later in life, and you want to impress everyone! What did you gain from your internships? I learnt about jobs I never knew existed, I learnt about the hierarchy in business, great people skills, my way to get around London, and a lot about an amazing industry. How did they help build you into the woman you are today? I still reference my previous beauty editor’s advice when I’m writing today. Thinking about the lessons they taught me all those years ago. I will always remember how my bosses treated me as an intern and will always try and emulate the positive experiences I’ve had with those that now go on to work with me. What are the top 3 qualities you look for when employing someone or looking for an intern? Dedication, passion and enthusiasm. Did you find your dyslexia a challenge when becoming a writer? Yes, I never would have thought I’d have become a writer, especially looking back to being in year 6 with a very stern English teacher. Everything takes me longer, it doesn’t always come naturally to me, but I wanted to write so badly that I would spend the extra time to make every piece perfect. Pursuing writing being dyslexic definitely helped push me out of my comfort zone. I also got to explore the styling and artistic direction side of my job, when I was at Look and Grazia and this for me felt much more natural.

I think empowered women today are confident, strong, proud and not afraid to stand up against a man in a boardroom. 15


16


Saying something with confidence makes such a huge difference.

Do you have any tips for young people that dream to be writers but don’t think they’re good enough? Practise writing about something you’re passionate about. It could be in a journal or a blog. Read more to pick up style tips and learn new words, and don’t compare yourself to everyone else. You have a unique style of writing that isn’t necessarily worse or better than anyone else and that’s what makes you, you. What has been the highlight of your career so far? Interviewing Jo Malone to an audience at The Ivy Members Club Inn London, it was such an amazing experience. She’s such an inspirational brand owner, empowered woman, dyslexia advocate and entrepreneur!

You’ve worked at high end publications like Grazia and Harper’s Bazaar, and now you have launched Just Add Beauty, did you find it hard taking that leap to start your own business? There’s never a ‘good time’ or the ‘right time’ but I do think you get to a point in your life/career when you need to take the leap. I would urge others to take it sooner, rather than later. Life is so short, and you don’t want to have lots of ‘if only I did...’ moments looking back.

What advice would you give to your younger self? Be more confident. I was terribly shy growing up and found it really hard to speak up in class, even if I knew the right answer. I think confidence is so important in portraying yourself, but also now my business. Saying something with confidence, makes such a huge difference. What tips would you give to be business savvy? Think ahead. Plan yourself, set goals and tackle them!

Have you encountered any hiccups or obstacles when starting your business? Of course, starting a business means that you have to be good at a lot of things almost overnight. You need to be able to create a website, sell your brand, market your company and be good at finance and logistics. No one can be good at everything. So, I found recruiting to be a hugely important for my business to grow. My business partner now, handles all of the finance and logistics which for me was an area that I struggled with. I feel like a weight has been lifted so I can sell and grow the brand, while she handles the important numbers side of the business.

Makeup helps build confidence for some women, how do you build confidence and stay so empowered? I agree mykeup plays a huge roll. I love waking up every day, getting myself ready with the right lipstick and mascara to make me feel ready for the day. I think if something as simple as putting on makeup can give you strength to feel empowered you should do it! I also feel empowered surrounding myself with inspirational and positive people and working out. Have you yourself been on a self-love journey? When my Dad passed away everyone kept telling me to be kind to myself. I never really understood what it meant until a few weeks ago. I pushed myself to do everything I was doing previously, working long hours, throwing myself into work events and evening arrangements, and even pushing myself to get to the gym. I over did it and ended up injuring my back. For me it was a sign to take a step back, be kinder to myself, not feel like I have to do everything all at once. Life is precious and every day you should do or feel something special, that’s never been so important than now for me.

What inspired you to start Just Add Beauty? My dad. He was the driving force behind me. He’s a business entrepreneur and always loved helping the younger generation. I found working alone at the beginning to be really tricky, but we sat down every week to discuss the previous week, next steps and how the business was going to progress. He was my silent business partner, my mentor and my guidance. Sadly, after a tragic accident on holiday in Portugal he passed away just a month ago. Getting back into work has been hard, but he’s my inspiration to make it the success he always believed it could be.

Did working in the beauty industry ever have a negative effect on your mental health or how you viewed yourself? I feel really lucky to be working in the beauty industry now, and for the last 10 years because the conversation around diversity and widening our perception of what ‘beauty’ means and is has evolved so much. We’ve seen beauty campaigns change from having Caucasian, skinny models to have a wide range of ethnicities, genders and body sizes. This is the future of beauty, conclusiveness and empowerment. I would always laugh to colleagues when things got stressful that we weren’t curing cancer or working on rocket science, we were simply just writing about lipstick and that can give so many people a lift, a laugh or a brighter perspective on their day. I think mentally that gave me such a positive outlook on life.

What’s it like being your own boss? Great! I love working for myself, I probably work harder and longer than I ever did working for someone else. There’s also the added pressure of you being the only person to get things done, which can be stressful but to me it’s worth it! Where do you see the future of Just Add Beauty? Well, we’ve recently changed our name to Curate Beauty and will soon be launching a new platform digitising what the company already does. Curate-beauty.co.uk will be a beauty buying platform to enable more retailers to stock independent beauty brands. Our site is easy to navigate, has a great selection of beauty brands on-board and will have dedicated ‘Curated Collections’, which essentially will give buyers and retailers direction in what to purchase based on season, trending categories and most popular products. We believe this is the future for beauty retail. What advice would you give someone wanting to follow their dreams and start their own business? Find something you love, and it will never feel like a day’s work, innovation and individualism is also so important - so make sure your business has a great USP!

17

What is your definition of an empowered woman? How can we all be empowered women? I found working in a female dominated industry for so long has been really empowering. I have met so many amazing female founders of beauty companies that have inspired me to reach bigger, dig deeper and work harder. I think empowered women today are confident, strong, proud and not afraid to stand up against a man in a boardroom. That is what I hope to be, and what I hope for the next generation too!


WHO will CHANGE

THE WORLD? 18

girls!


OHW lEGlNiAw HC

E?DHLROTW !slrig

Here at Tribe we take a look at the influencial women and young girls who are taking a stand and changing life as we know it. Young people are forefront of major change now more than ever. From gun control to climate change to tech and science to sports to fashion to beauty, young women, girls, and femmes are leading the charge in innovative, exciting, and ambitious ways. In moments which feel never-ending and hopeless, these girls a beacon of light and give a moment of hope to thousands. Regardless of the fanfare, or celebrity it earns them, they continue to do the work to change the world around them, to reach their goals and live their dreams. Words by Emily Salmon

19


DEJA FOXX Deja Foxx is the teen activist fighting for reproductive rights – and cultivating a digital community for young women like her. In 2017, her exchange with US senator Jeff Flake about birth control access – which saw her speaking to her experiences as a young woman of colour with a background of poverty and homelessness – went viral. Since, the Arizona-born activist led a campaign for comprehensive sex education in her hometown district, and founded the groundbreaking El Rio Reproductive Health Access Project, which trains young people as peer sex educators and community leaders. Now studying at Columbia University on a full scholarship, Foxx continues to organise – she’s working on her GenZ Girl Gang project, a just-launched online community “redefining sisterhood for a new generation”.

I wouldn’t be where I am today without the incredible power of sisterhood,

20


nupol kiazolu She plans to be president in 2036 and change how we think about racism along the way. Nupol recently started school at Hampton University in Virginia, a historically black university. There, she’s continuing to work on her national Vote 2000 campaign, an effort to get young people of color registered to vote. Prior to starting college, Nupol served as the president of the Youth Coalition of Black Lives Matter of Greater New York. But she began her career as an activist even earlier. Her first protest happened when she was just 13 and wore a black hoodie to school with the words, “Do I look suspicious?”on it in the wake of Trayvon Martin’s murder. So when she’s the leader of the whole country that’s what Nupol will have done. She will have changed narratives and proved the odds wrong. She will have helped her people and she will have fought back against those who oppressed her. But what Nupol seems to have already keyed into is that she doesn’t have to wait until 2036 to get these things done. She’s already doing it.

If we keep thinking of racism as ‘the color of your skin, I don’t like it’ and that’s all, we’re never going to get anywhere.

21


Winter BreeAnne Winter BreeAnne is an unstoppable 17-yearold advocate who has started her own nonprofit, become a youth ambassador for TOMS, and even been named one of Riverside, California’s Most Remarkable Teens. Labeled a budding activist, Winter says she’s just doing her civic duty. She wants to make a difference in the world and is using her voice to do so. Winter began her advocacy at 15 with the launch of her organization Black Is Lit. What began as an Instagram page meant to fill a void in black representation on the platform quickly expanded into a passion project for the young activist. Soon she would use her platform to tour elementary schools across the country, promoting education around youth politics and the importance of voting. Earlier this year, Winter spearheaded one of the largest student demonstrations in U.S. history. As a national student leader for the group Women’s March Youth Empower, Winter helped organize the #ENOUGH: National Student Walkout in March.

Young people need to take the power back into their own hands.

22


AMIKA GEORGE Amika George is the 18-year-old student founder of #FreePeriods, a campaign that aims to make sure that no girl in the UK is suffering from period poverty. It calls on the government to provide free menstrual products to all children on free school meals. She started the #FreePeriods movement in 2017 aged 18 after learning that her peers were skipping school because of period poverty. Success came in a 165,000-strong petition and thousands protesting outside Downing Street, sparking a domino effect countrywide. High street giants shouldered the VAT cost, and brands like Always and Bodyform launched campaigns to tackle the crisis. George’s next battle for 2019 has just been announced, Together with community campaigners Red Box Project, #FreePeriods will take on Westminster in a legal battle to follow in the footsteps of Scotland, where the Holyrood government has supported the Big Issue Invest-backed Hey Girls! period poverty campaign to help 18,000 women access free products.

the shame of period poverty is keeping british girls out of school. let’s break the silence.

23


24


ABOFa SS20 25

Photography by Florrie Smith


26


27


28


29


30


31


we speak to international fire performer and onlyfans content creator, dannika daisy Words by Emily Salmon Here at Tribe we speak to Dannika Daisy, an international fire performer come model and OnlyFans content creator. Dannika is a global success in the performance industry with her fiery stage persona and ever-growing confidence. As a member of the ‘Suicide Girls’ she is most known for her decorative tattoos and bright coloured hair, making sure she stands out from the crowd.

inspiring way to spread self-love. Hopefully people understand that and that might be why I don’t get negative feedback. OnlyFans has around 8 million registered users and over 70,000 content creators, who have received over £119 million since the company launched in 2016, why do you think onlyFans has had such success? Because it’s totally up to the creator what he or she posts and to be in control is something we all wish to be.

You’re an international performer working with fire, how did you get into that? I actually had a “normal” job in leather manufacturing in the interior design market, but I needed something to excite my life and my good friend Flic taught me and shortly after I was booked for a gig. Then I was scouted for Cirque Dubai and I’ve been coming back and forth to the desert to perform ever since!

What does being an OnlyFans content creator entail? Updating your page daily with exclusive content for your fans, always thinking “oh let me just record a cute video” when the occasion arises. OnlyFans gives the content creators more control over their own image and how they are portrayed, why do you think this is important? It’s the biggest unique selling point I think! It’s very important to be in control as it’s your body, it’s your brand image so you need to control what happens with that, what happens with you.

What’s it like when you perform in front of a big crowd? Does it make you feel powerful? You know what the weird thing is, the number of people watching me perform is literally just a number. Whether there’s ten people in the audience or hundreds, I still always try and put on the best show. But performing overall is very empowering. In Dubai I have to be fully covered but I still feel so sexy because of my stage persona.

Is there a good amount of money to make in the performance industry? There used to be, but I have seen a decrease as there’s more and more performers and less and less jobs. The sad thing I struggle with is some artists are willing to do accept a job for a low price, meaning when I stick to a higher fee it’s harder. I think everyone should know their worth and respect themselves as a performer.

You are part of the “suicide girls”, what is that all about? Suicide Girls is kind of a cult of “girls next door” but more alternative with piercings and tattoos. We post sets on the website and there’s cute guidelines to make sure the SG brand image is always portrayed. I’ve met some amazing girls all over the world from being in this family. I know if I was lost or lonely anywhere in the world, there would be a suicide girl to help.

Why do you think men pay for these intimate images, yet look down on the women who sell them? Because they want to escape reality for a moment, who doesn’t!? It’s a safe way of doing so. It’s a shame they do look down on the girls. Let’s all be more open minded; it’s good for you!

You’re also a content creator on OnlyFans, how did that come about? I thought about joining for a long time, but I wasn’t clued on to what it actually was. But when I joined, it become clear that I am in control of what levels I work up to and what I want to post etc, so I was very happy as I don’t do anything x rated. I was worried I wouldn’t do as well because of that factor but my fans respect that and are happy with what I create.

Women are finally taking ownership of their sexuality and using it to their own advantage, why do you think only now it has become a big thing? I guess it’s more accepted now. However, it’s always been a big thing, since the 60s when females took their power back. Females took control of their bodies with the help of the contraceptive pill being distributed. The internet has helped massively too.

Were you nervous posting your first contenton the site? Of course, but isn’t that the beauty of creating something... it’s exciting! How did you build your confidence enough to be comfortable revealing these kinds of photos? I’ve always been comfortable in my own skin and I know I need to use this to show other girls it’s okay to be different, it’s okay to be who you are. Everyone is beautiful. And to me the human body is art, so I see it as creating art and making money whilst doing so.

What is your opinion on people that say women who sell their explicit pictures do not have any self-respect? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but these girls are choosing to do that. If they wish to do so and aren’t hurting anyone or themselves then who is anyone to tell them they shouldn’t.

How do you remain so empowered with the backlash you get selling your intimate pictures online? I don’t really get any backlash to be honest, I have no idea why I don’t. Maybe because I don’t do anything so sexual, I post videos of strip teases, which I’ve performed many times in London - I like to think I use my sexuality in a creative and

Do you think it would it help if the media started to look at these women differently, in a more positive, business minded way? I think people are going to do as they wish regardless of how the media looks at them.

32


33


34


Selling and buying nudes allows for a unique “relationship” between seller and buyer, have you had any negative experiences? I had a couple of comments just asking me to go further, to go nude etc but I just explain I do topless and implied nude only and they respect that. It’s just about communication and being clear about what you offer. Have you ever had any negative experiences during one of your performances? I haven’t. There’s always security and I can handle myself if there isn’t ahahaha. Plus the girls and guys I work with are so supportive and we all look after each other. If I didn’t feel safe, I would take myself out of the situation. With this new wave of feminism the public is rising, women are more readily encouraged to wear what they want and ignore anyone that still partakes in slut-shaming. However, when money (let alone profit), is brought into the mix, the narrative suddenly changes, why do you think this is? Things are always different when money is involved. It changes people. What would you say were the best things about working in your industry? The people and the experiences I get to have. I meet amazing people and artists and I get to travel. I love meeting new cultures and different educations; the world is so big and there’s so many people on it.

Has the controversy over selling pictures ever made you regret starting? Because I don’t do x rated content, I don’t regret it. There are topless pictures of me online anyway so it isn’t anything the world can’t see. I like to think my content is tasteful. At what point did you realise you could earn a liveable wage purely from your body and men finding you attractive? My focus wasn’t just about men, I do it for myself and to show my confidence. If I can earn money whilst doing so then it’s a win win situation. Whilst I look like this I may as well celebrate it. Time is ticking aha!

Do you ever think about the repercussions of this line of work and the impact it may have on your future? Of course. But times are changing and I’m always going to be in the creative industry so it’s okay.

“You are strong and you are more amazing than you know.”

What have you learnt from this line of work? What did you wish you knew when starting out? I think my timing was perfect. Everything happens for a reason and you need to trust your own timing. What would you say to young women scared to take control of their sexuality and use it to their own advantage? I hope it will come with age and they learn to accept themselves and their bodies. If not that’s still okay. What tips would you give women wanting to build their confidence, become more empowered and use their power? You’ll know when you reach that moment where you are truly happy in yourself and your skin. You will know and you will feel empowered. You will get there when you are ready, and it will be so beautiful. You are strong and you are more amazing then you know.

35


36


Being a girl definitely has its pros and cons. We have the tools to enhance our appearance and trick other people into thinking we are good looking. We have an undeniable power over men that is best described as “having boobs.” We get into the bars/clubs for free and rarely need to open our wallet. However, being a girl takes a lot of hard work.

flirt our way out of a speeding ticket. We get into most bars for free and men just come up to us and ask to buy us drinks basically for no other reason than that we have a vagina. Sorry buddy but a vodka sprite isn’t going to gain you access… mozzarella sticks might though. Bitches love mozzarella sticks. We shed. I lose at least 20 strands of hair every time I blowdry or straighten it. Between my housemate and me, there are legit tumbleweeds of hair currently blowing around my apartment floor. It’s like the desert in there minus the cacti.

We are expected to perform the same jobs for less money. We are viewed as the weaker sex even when we prove our strength time and time again, and then ya know, there’s always the small task of GROWING A TINY HUMAN inside of us and then pushing it out of our bodies and taking care of it for the rest of forever. These pros and cons are just the tip of the girly iceberg.

Our boobs and backs constantly hurt. Our backs hurt from carrying our boobs around all day and our boobs hurt for no goddamn reason at all.

Below I have listed what I feel are the most important things people should know about what it’s like to be a girl. My fellow females can relate, and men, take notes.

We probably enjoy food more than you. Girls are always being pegged as birdlike eaters, ordering something low in calories like a salad or sushi. The Hunger Games is nothing compared to a table of five hungry girls trying to share nachos or a Domino’s pizza.

We hate getting ready more than you hate waiting for us to get ready. The process of “getting ready” is the absolute bane of my existence. Until I have showered, blow-dried, straightened/curled, applied makeup, and gotten dressed…I am a prisoner in my own home. This does not apply to ALL women (damn you, naturally beautiful demons) but it does apply to most. If you are an average looking human like myself, there are so many steps that must be taken before you can take on the world feeling confident and fully prepared to run into your ex and his new girlfriend.

The overwhelming consensus of the male population is that girls are “crazy.” This is a difficult stigma to break. I will start out by saying yes; some women are completely bat shit crazy but you can’t let a few bad eggs ruin it for the rest of us. Whenever a guy tells me his “ex is crazy,” I always see this as a red flag. They throw the term around so frequently, I can’t determine whether they are full of shit or not. If she is so crazy, why would you date her for so long? Maybe you’re a little crazy, too. What exactly constitutes one as being crazy anyway? Did she slash your tires or did she just express a human feeling? Did she try to burn your house to the ground or simply ask you where the relationship was headed? Guys send mixed signals then stamp a girl with the title of “crazy” when she just did something as insane as trust that you meant the things you said or did. I have held my feelings back in several relationships in an attempt to not appear crazy, and looking back, I regret it. The problems you’ve had with a girl in the past shouldn’t carry over to another person. I do believe women should learn to take things slow, back off when necessary and get control over their feelings, but it isn’t right to decide an entire gender is insane.

Men usually complain about having to wait around for their girlfriend or wife to get ready, and they should know that we are equally pained over the process. The thing that bothers me the most about getting ready is all the time I have wasted in my life just trying to look presentable. If my hair was naturally straight or wavy instead of a tangled knot from hell, I could have probably solved world hunger by now. Or better yet, I could get an extra hour of sleep per day. The truth about the female obsession with our appearance, aside from societal pressure to look sexually appealing, is that we do it mainly for ourselves and for other women.

Girls are quick to turn on each other. I have lost count how many times I’ve heard a girl rip apart another woman for getting in between her and her boyfriend, when he’s the actual one to blame. Unless that other woman is your friend or relative, it’s really a waste of energy to be angry with a complete stranger. 90% of the time, she isn’t even aware of your existence. Place the blame where it belongs. And girls, just stop sleeping with other people’s boyfriends, it’s tacky.

As long as my boobs haven’t fallen off, a guy who finds me attractive will continue to do so no matter what I wear or how I do my hair, but other women aren’t as easy to pull one over on. It sounds vain and maybe it is, but most women just don’t feel comfortable or beautiful in their natural state. If we put out immediately, we are slutty. If we don’t, we are prude. This is always a lose/lose situation. Girls who give it up too quickly are viewed as promiscuous while girls who want to wait to get to know a guy before sleeping with him are prude and “stand-offish.” I’ve had guys tell me they got the vibe I wasn’t interested in them just because I wouldn’t sleep with them immediately. It’s absolutely ridiculous and it makes dating even more complicated than it already is. Do you want a girl who has standards when it comes to who she sleeps with or a girl who is down to sleep with whoever comes her way? Either one is fine but make up your minds.

We are not as complicated as men think we are. Women have earned the reputation of being complicated and in reality, we are simpler than one might realize. We want what everyone wants: to be loved and appreciated, to be treated with respect, to have a solid group of friends, to have good hair days and to not get roofied and murdered in a back alley somewhere. It’s really that simple. Beyoncé said it best, “Who runs the world? GIRLS.” We work, we raise babies, we take care of our families, we arrange all holiday plans, and we make the time to look good doing it. Women are often underestimated but one time Mia Hamm told me in a Nike commercial that anything men can do, we can do better, so that’s how I know it’s true. We have way more on our minds than pumpkin spice lattes, Ryan Gosling without a shirt on and the Kardashians. As Cyndi Lauper once said in a song, “Girls just wanna have equal pay, a decent man to love, a boss that doesn’t sexually harass her, not to get abducted by a stranger while on a jog and then maybe some fun, too” or something like that. Girl Power.

We are funnier than society gives us credit for. We live in a culture where it is assumed that men are the funnier gender, and it is simply not true. Most of my friends who make me laugh to the point of tears are girls. I also know many men who are extremely clever and funny as well, my point being that humour is not gender exclusive. It troubles me that people are always shocked when women are funny. Sometimes we receive special treatment and can get what we want solely because we are women. We can attempt to

37


38

Creative direction and photography by Charlotte Wakeford


39


LOOKing

BACK AT THE DECADE

Looking back at how the world changed for women through the last decade. Words by Emily Salmon

40


We know there are glass ceilings that remain frustratingly unshattered. We know that there are gender inequalities stacked upon race inequalities that make it so that a Black woman has to work twice as hard to still earn less.

to tell their stories, and to proactively try to change things. Well, that’s not what this article is about. Instead, this article is about the strides women have already made. It’s about how we are earning degrees at four times the rate women used to earn. It’s about how households are looking different—how women are increasingly turning into the breadwinners.

We know. We pay attention and we all work hard to do our best. We try to impart wisdom, to give a platform for women

In

In

2019

, 29% of senior management roles are held by women, the highest number ever on record.

2019

In

, 24.3% of all national parliamentarians were women as of February 2019, a slow increase from 11.3 per cent in 1995

2019

, 87% of global businesses have at least one woman in a senior management role.

.

According to McKinsey and In , LeanIn’s Women in The the number of UK women in full-time Workplace Report, employment has risen women negotiate for raises just as from 29%in 1985 to much as men do. In fact, in the last 44%. two years, women reported having negotiated for raises more than men. While 29 percent of men had negotiated for raises, 31 percent of women did the Since , same. more women are owning their own business.2 Between 1997 and 2014, the total In , number of women-owned 72% of ‘working age’ businesses in the United States UK mothers were in increased by 68 percent. As a paid work, compared woman-owned business, we to just 50% in 1975. love this stat.

2017

2018

2014

2015

2010

In , the UK Equality Act was amended to ensure equal pay for both genders and protect against other discrimination.

41

Although we’ve still got far to go, women definitely made moves this decade to improve lives for women over the world. With more women becoming CEO’s and in management roles each year, its only looking positive for the future. It is estimated that it will take a further 200 years for the world to reach equal pay for men and women. and around 6o years to reach equal pay in countries like Europe and the USA. However, any steps are good steps and will help us move in the right direction.


Photography: Dionne Lockyear Stylist: Viivi Clark & Emily Salmon Creative Direction: Emily Salmon Make-up: Olivia Golton

ROADS &

ruffles 42


43


44


45


46


47


48


49


50


51


ARE GEN Z UNHAPPY? are we just destined to be unsatisfied?

Words by Emily Salmon

52


Being successful isn’t the problem, the problem is this culture of comparison

It feels like only yesterday I was telling my mum that I want to be successful, probably because it was yesterday, and everyday before that because I don’t shut up about it. Creating my own brand was the top of my bucket list. I wanted to create a magazine that was all me, my thoughts, my imagery, my ideas and my style. Now, well, you’re reading it. At first, having this freshly printed magazine firmly in my grasp, with my name in the editor’s letter, FILLED me with pride and happiness, I felt success after what was months of emails, flat plans and straight up stress. Don’t get me wrong, I am still incredibly proud of all the hard work I put into it, and I love the Tribe brand and the publication. But I can’t stop myself thinking, now what… My head buzzes with ideas on the daily, most of which aren’t realistic at this moment in time, but I have the vision. Each tiny little step in that direction just does not feel like enough. Even though these are steps to take to make big things happen, I just want them to go quicker. I see success in my future. So clearly. But what if I never get there? It just seems that success is a target that never gets reached, a goalpost that continues to move, and to be honest, it does hugely affect the way we live our lives.

We of this new social media age, constantly view our worth in the form of likes, followers and engagement. This majorly effects how we see our own worth and the level of our own achievements. The triumphs which we may be super happy with, soon feel like nothing compared to someone else’s. If a picture doesn’t get enough likes, we suddenly feel not as attractive, and we compare ourselves to those who are getting hundreds of likes. A new level of so-called success always brings a new pool of people to compare ourselves to. When we feel we’ll be content with 100 likes, we soon long for 1,000, and then 10,000 and onwards. Many of us have started seeing success as a series of posts or stops along the way. Anything else feels like waiting for another stop to come. And when it does, there is always another stop before our destination. Viewed this way: success is the place that never arrives. Clearly, if we want to regain contentment, we need to recapture a proper definition of what success is. Chasing outsider’s approval for our private achievements and accomplishments may sound small, but the impact is huge. The result? We ride the highs of feeling loved, validated and accepted, but we’re also hit hard by the lows that leave us feeling dissatisfied, less motivated, possibly anxious. For some, these feelings may be more serious, and they may develop symptoms consistent with depression and anxiety. So, is it really a surprise that mental health issues are more dominant in younger generations than ever before?

Like many millennials, I’m super driven and proud and without sounding too cliché, I think everyone should follow their dreams. In this generation, being successful isn’t the problem, the problem is our culture of comparison. The constant feeling of wanting to be better. To feel such competition and to be in a never-ending state of restlessness is robbing us of our happiness in the present. We are so quick to put aside out achievements to move onto the next thing, that we don’t take a minute or even a second to dwell in the happiness and pride we feel in the moment.

As if that isn’t hard enough, the comparison is not limited to career success. Our goals and competition-orientated mindset intrudes the way we see friends, relationships and other parts of our lives. Learning to be content in a relationship is increasingly hard when you so easily have access to hundreds of people’s opinions at a click of a button. People post the best parts of their relationships as ‘relationship goals’ and that subconsciously makes you doubt your own relationship and wonder why your partner doesn’t do these same things. Comparing your relationships with others’ is very hard not to do, some are buying houses and traveling or even having babies, and you wonder why you are not ‘there’.

I personally think that social media has a part to play in this. The pictures that reach Instagram have been through six editing apps and the latest version of photoshop before they even reach our newsfeed, they’re undoubtably curated to show the best of the best. We seem to manage to be able to filter out those we see as competition the most, we filter out those that are aiming for the same next milestone as us and feel as if it’s a race to see who gets there first. Then feel a rush of disappointment and lack of success when they reach it first. When we look to people we deem successful we tend to just see their present; we don’t see the no-man’s land that stretched for miles between where they started from and where they are now. It is the working towards something that gives us purpose, the moving forwards, the sticking at something when it’s hard, the grit and determination in-between the ‘post-it’ moments that few ever see. Researcher and author, Brené Brown has much to say on how valuing the journey can change our view of success for the better: “The middle is messy,” she explains, “but that’s also where the magic happens.”

So, are we millennials and Gen Z predestined to be discontent with our achievements? To chase goalposts just to watch them move. Will we ever reach our desired destination? Maybe when we start to see success as the journey rather than the end, we will start to find more contentment in the messy middle and far more joy in our milestone moments? I for one want to settle into the journey enough to enjoy the ride.

53


not SARI

SARI

Being an unapologetic woman in a culture that doesn’t allow it

Words by Kiran Bhamra Photography by Emily Salmon

54


From the outside, the Indian culture looks like a colourful celebration of life with the amazing food and glamourous weddings. What many don’t know is that it can be very toxic culture. Being told what you can and can’t wear, being told you’re going to get married at whatever age to a man that’s been chosen for you, being told to keep your opinions to yourself. I for one, have had enough.

I am part of the British culture, just with some added spice.

In the Indian culture there are many expectations, we’re all going to be doctors and lawyers, have arranged marriages and god forbid we cut out hair. Now, that is a load of rubbish for a few (myself included), but many young women carry out these expectations from their parents. As a young woman in this culture it can be ten times as hard to ‘please’ the family. We have to go to university, get a career and be married all before the age of 30, because apparently, we’re destined to be single forever if we’re not already partnered by that point, as if the age for women getting married and having babies isn’t rising for women in Britain. I for one, have felt the pressure of good grades and going to university from members of my family, but in some sense, I have put my foot down. I watched my sister complete A levels and become a lawyer, then I come along and do a BTEC Level 3 Extended Diploma in Technical Theatre Arts and go on to do Hair and Makeup Design at university. I just LOVE the look of disgust I get from random Auntie’s I meet at family occasions when I tell them this. “Why don’t you want to do law like your sister?” they ask. Easy answer though, I don’t want to... It has been imbedded in me from a young age. Top sets for maths, be the best English and don’t forget science! Ultimately, you’re going to be a lawyer, doctor, dentist or something else that has a starting salary of £40,000 a year. But from a young age I knew this was not the path for me. I am awful at maths, science and English and I barely made it past my 6 GCSE’s. Luckily for me, my parents didn’t force me to choose a career at this point, I went to a performing arts school for college and did technical theatre arts and I was one of three Asians in the whole school. This was slightly uncomfortable at times especially when the dance students asked ‘OMG What fake tan is that? It looks so natural!’. Ha. People would presume I was Muslim just from looking at my skin colour and long hair, which P.S. I’m not. My family are Sikh, but I don’t believe in God (sorry Mum). This played on my mind constantly growing up. I had such dark long hair and was tired of the stereotyping and was drying to break out and ‘rebel’. So, I bleached my hair, then cut it off short. But I look at Kim Kardashian with her long dark hair, and other celebrities and models embracing their ‘stereotype’ without care and I think WHY did I do that. I just wish I could tell my younger self not to change myself for other people for them to understand I am British Asian and not just Asian. I am part of the British culture, just with some added spice. The reason many young women feel guilt and pressure to be the best is because our parents immigrated to the country for a better life, they worked twice as hard to get into a high paying job to provide for the family, so why shouldn’t we? My dad came to London from Kenya, Africa in the late 60’s and I have watched him work tirelessly to be able to provide for me, my brother, sister and mum. For this reason, I strive for success to be able to do the same for my own family one day and be able to give back to him for the life he has given my family. But this doesn’t have to be done by being a lawyer or dentist, hard work pays off if you truly believe in what you do. Success is measured in happiness. As I have grown up, I have started to, bit by bit, break the mould. It wasn’t till I went to university I truly felt like I could just be me, dress how I wanted, drink as much as I wanted, and BE

who I wanted. The freedom university has given me has made me realise I am destined to be my own person, no matter what my culture wants me to be. I would rather live independently, away from family and don’t get me wrong I do love my family, but this newfound freedom is something I can’t resist. Most parents of first-generation migrants had arranged marriages. This is when the parents find a bride or groom for their son or daughter and boom, 9 months later you’re getting married to someone your barely know. I personally don’t know anyone in my generation, that has been subjected to an arranged marriage. But, it’s still alive and breathing for hundreds of Indian women. Not being married is seen as a horrible thing in Asian culture, get past the age of 30 and you’re past your sell by date.

55


“

Do not be scared. break out, speak up and understand that sometimes you have to be selfish to achieve happiness.

�

56


This is why parents ‘introduce’ their sons/daughters to potential suitors, if they don’t get on, they don’t get on, if they do, they’ll probably get married. In my opinion, this is pure TRASH. Marriage is not the be all and end all of life. India has the lowest rate of divorce in the world, but this isn’t because every couple is in love and all arranged marriages created were the perfect match, it is because divorce is seen as bringing shame on the family. Divorce is messy in Asian culture especially for the women. As horrible as it is, women are seen as damaged goods after a divorce. Many women stay hostage in their own relationships and lives just so they don’t disappoint their family. Because after marrying someone you don’t know, your parents spending thousands on a big wedding with a guest list of 500, WHY would you want a divorce? Who wouldn’t rather be toxic relationship, have a non-existent love life and waste your life away with someone you don’t actually like? It’s a NO from me.

never mentions same sex couples are forbidden. This brings me back to my point of interracial marriage; nothing is said in Sikhism that prohibits both. Some may say it’s a culture thing, but religion and culture are two very separate things. The big problem in south Asian cultures is religion and culture being two separate things. Many will say they’re are religious (in my case Sikhism) but really, they eat meat, they drink, they cut their hair and go to the Gurdwara if there’s a wedding and they’re forced to. They don’t follow the religion at all really, until they chose to. It’s the culture and the traditions made from this culture that is toxic AF. The harmful south Asian community needs to move with the times, and this can only happen if young women speak up and break these old traditions. If you marry someone who isn’t the same race as you, IT’S OKAY. If you’re bisexual/ homosexual, IT’S OKAY. If you have mental health issues, IT’S OKAY. If you want a divorce, go get that divorce! Do not let anyone stop you from doing things for yourself, in order to make yourself happy. Do not be scared, break out, speak up and understand that sometimes you have to be selfish to achieve happiness.

Now a days, in Britain, it’s obviously more common for Asians to meet organically. Being away from family at University opens an array of opportunities. This is where I get the most freedom without distant aunties seeing me walk into a shisha lounge with ‘a boy’ and having it be the top goss of the family. If you happen to love someone of a different race, then GOOD LUCK. Get ready for a whirlwind of emotions and major threats of disownment. You’re an Asian woman with a white boyfriend? You’re diluting the culture! What’s everyone going to think?!, You won’t have a place in this family. These are one’s I am very familiar with. Trying to convince my semitraditional mum that being with someone who isn’t Asian isn’t a bad thing is one of the hardest things I still haven’t managed to do. All of a sudden, the disapproving members of my family have become fully committed to their religion and culture, even though they don’t practise it properly. I cannot help the person I love. Period. Many young girls are disowned or forced to choose between their family and the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. Having family guilt tripping you into choosing them over your partner, but your partner doing absolutely nothing wrong is the hardest feeling in the world; and even though I haven’t had an ultimatum myself, the thought of having to maybe one day have do is indescribable. It has made me realise how strong women really are, to face something like that and have their family completely forget about them over their choice of boyfriend or partner. Baffling. Next up, mental health. Just picture this, you’re depressed, and you tell a member of your family you need help and they turn around and tell you to pray. Now, as a person who doesn’t believe in God, this isn’t the best response. I honestly don’t understand how praying is meant to help. Many Asians, especially parents and grandparents still do not believe mental illnesses exist. If you’re struggling mentally, or god forbid diagnosed with a mental illness, NO ONE must speak of it. Absolutely no one. Because imagine causing such embarrassment to the family (once again). Due to the lack of understanding, a mental illness is seen as annoying or difficult; no sympathy is shown. It is just ridiculous. If you broke your leg, you would be sent flowers and chocolates but as soon as someone mentions ‘depression’ or ‘anxiety’ it’s all of a sudden not real, you must be low in iron or you just need to pray. This is why many mental illnesses in this culture go undiagnosed because it isn’t spoken about at all. Homosexuality is still something that many Asians do not accept, the jokes I’ve heard at school, the ‘light-hearted’ comments are awful. I can’t speak for all religions but in Sikhism, it is said marriage is two souls becoming one and

57


58


Jewel tones

tribe spoke to beauty writer, Ateh Jewel, about racial discrimination and her hope for a fairer future. Words by Emily Salmon Struck by her infectious, vibrant energy, Tribe speak to London based beauty writer, Ateh Jewel, who shares her experience of racial discrimination and how she’s hoping for a fairer future for her daughters. Ateh puts this energy to good use; it’s incredible how many different talents she can turn her hand to.

a

The beauty industry has long been overdue a proverbial kick up the backside, in providing women with darker skin better options in their cosmetic choices. Ateh has campaigned to make cosmetic companies sit up and take notice. “The Fenty effect has seen changes but there are often jumps in shades from a Beyoncé to Grace Jones”, she explains “but we have a long way to go”. We couldn’t agree more and it’s wonderful to witness Ateh’s passion.

59


60


Your story is absolutely captivating and incredibly inspiring. For those of our readers who are less familiar with you, can you give a brief description of your journey? I started out in magazines 19 years ago and then went freelance at 22. I have written for titles such as Vogue, Allure, Sunday Times Style and Grazia. I also run a production company and produce short films and documentaries as well as developing my own line of foundation for darker skin tones. I also have a website www.jeweltonesbeauty.com for men and women with darker skin tones.

what are you and I going to do for the next generation. We can make that choice so what’s it going to be? What made you want to speak out and stand up for all young black women who experience the same things? As soon as I became a mother to my twin girls all bets were off. I wanted to make life just a bit better for them. Where are your favourite places to shop? Which retailers do you feel deliver in their offerings for darker skin tones and different curly and coily hair types? I love Selfridges, Liberty, Cult Beauty and Space NK.

You talk about your experience as a woman of colour in the beauty industry and the ways you were treated. Can you talk about some experiences you had where you felt you weren’t treated as an equal because of your skin colour, and how you dealt with it? Often years ago, I would be told there wasn’t enough shelf space to have a full diverse range or black consumers didn’t have the money to buy luxury items. I also remember one of my first big job interviews for a major magazine, where I was asked if I felt “whiter” because I was so well educated. All rubbish and offensive.

What are the most impressive strides towards better diversity on the high street that you’ve seen made over the last decade? Getting more hair care for curly and coily hair in Boots and Superdrug has been an absolute game changer. Where do you feel there’s greater room for improvement? I think only when diversity is not considered a trend or as a marketing angle will we see real improvement. People should do these things because they know it is the right thing to do rather than because it gets them the press and publicity they want.

You clearly are a strong and powerful woman who many might call a feminist, yet some people may view makeup and beauty as superficial. Do you see that as a misconception and what made you choose to focus on makeup and hair care? I think expressing yourself, playing with make-up, healing yourself with the power of nature and honouring your spirit, identity, culture through beauty, colour cosmetics and hair care are important things. There has never been a time in history humans haven’t expressed themselves, their beliefs and values through the medium of beauty. I don’t find that superficial at all. I think it is art.

There was an uproar on social media when a campaign was released with images of a young black girl with her natural hair. Why do you think this was such a taboo subject across social platforms? I think the uproar was on the fact it was even signed off. The hair looked like a non-professional stylist had worked on her hair. It didn’t look as healthy and fabulous as it could have done. For me, it wasn’t the fact she was natural, it’s the fact people couldn’t see she wasn’t being catered to for by the styling team.

How would you describe your approach towards beauty? My approach is definitely fun, inclusive and all about connecting to the spirit and the magical invisible world of emotions and feelings. Which is perhaps why I don’t’ see beauty and makeup as superficial.

Do you think people, black women included, need to be more educated on black women’s natural hair and how to properly care for it? I think power comes from self-love and you can do anything with your hair as long as you love and accept and can nourish the natural hair that grows out of your head. When my girls turned 3 their curls became more textured and thicker. I had no idea how to look after their hair after a lifetime of having nothing to do with my own hair. It was when my Trinidadian mum said to, “sort your children’s hair out because it looks like their mother is white”, that I got a wakeup call. Offensive but kind of accurate. So, yeah, I do think people should be more educated when working on coily curly hair to ensure its properly cared for.

How long did it take you to fully accept and love yourself? Well, it’s an on-going process. I went natural with my hair at 37 and felt comfortable in my own skin from then, but I’m constantly changing and growing! How do you stay so empowered as a woman of colour who has experienced various different forms of discrimination or racism? I feel a huge responsibility for the next generation. People have marched, people were lynched and attacked in order for me to enjoy my rights and live my life how I do. It’s all about

You have previously used your platform to speak on issues such as shadism, and to call out major companies for their lack of shade ranges. Why do you think companies continue to do this and have you seen an improvement in doing so? The Fenty effect has seen changes but there are often jumps in shades from a Beyoncé to a Grace Jones shade and not much in between, and some shades are just too orange or red. I’m developing Ateh Jewel Beauty to honour and celebrate all the beautiful darker skin tones and help dark skinned women find a match.

I was asked if I felt “whiter” because I was so well educated. Al rubbish and offensive.

What led you to start Jewel Tones? I wanted a luxurious and aspirational space to express myself and to help men and women with darker skin tones. Where do you see the future of the beauty industry? When I don’t need to have these conversations or speak out in these issues...I’ll be happy.

61


LIVING happy

Because life is too short to live it for someone else... Words by Emily Salmon

“

It is not your job to make others feel comfortable.

�

62


G N I V I L yppah £75,000 is the annual salary it takes to put a smile on the average person’s face. The number of weekly sex romps it takes to send your happiness levels soaring is 2 or 3. 33, 55, the 70s: What do these numbers have in common? They’ve all been called “the happiest age” in various studies and surveys. Scientists predict that each person is in control of 40% of their happiness. It is clearly an oversimplification to say that people can control 40% of their happiness but scientists have determined it’s up to your genes, circumstances and behaviours that make up your 40% of happiness. A reasonably large chunk is clearly under your control, meaning the way you spend your time and the thoughts you allow to linger can really impact your mood and your long-term happiness.

Why should we apologize for something that made us happy? Why does it matter so much to everyone else what you do with your time, and with your life? Why ON EARTH did it matter so much to me what everyone else thought about what I was doing with my time, and with my life? So, I have now stopped, it’s by no means easy when you have lived your life a certain way forever. But, now in my early twenties I vowed to myself that I am not going to live my life for someone else. I am the only person responsible for living my life, from this moment on, the on the only persons to make my decisions and life choices will be me. I am not afraid to say no. Likewise, I am not afraid to say yes. I am the only one who influences the decisions I make about my future. I want to live life with no limits, regrets or apologies.

So, what’s the takeaway from these numbers? It’s not that you need to make £75,000 a year, be a social butterfly and have lots of sex. The point is that you can seek more positive interactions and take action to change the way you feel, regardless of your

Far too often in life we spend time trying to live to the expectations of others. We make decisions based on what we feel would be socially acceptable to our inner circles and peers, so much that we forget to focus on the most important thing– ourselves. It becomes a habit and eventually we get lost within ourselves, not knowing who we really are or who we want to be.

life circumstances. Does it surprise you that just 3 in 10 people feel happy with their lives? Or that researchers find 69 per cent of people feel trapped in the same old routine and over 40 per cent are unhappy with their lives? Money worries, dead-end relationships and unfulfilling jobs were among the reasons many said they are unhappy, followed closely behind lifestyle niggles, worrying about their image and even the British weather. Nearly three-quarters of the public were succumbing to the winter blues. Just seven per cent described themselves as very happy with their image, while a confidence-lacking 40 per cent of people are actively unhappy with the way they look.

So, what can we do? Well, we can choose to continue spiralling down into a life of living for other people, or we can wake up and start living for us. The moment we learn to listen to ourselves as opposed to everyone else, life instantly becomes stress-free, dramafree, and doubt-free. That being said, I’m choosing to take everything that life throws my way and make the best out of it, because I know that for every situation, good and bad, there’s something positive that comes from it. People around me may still talk, judge, and scrutinize, but I choose to use it as fuel– fuel to continue growing mentally, spiritually, and culturally.

Aside from the weather and the winter blues, things which only mother nature herself can take responsibility for, what can we change about our lives to make them more liveable? Growing up I was always a people pleaser, and even in my teenage years I couldn’t live (drama queen) knowing there was someone who was displeased with me or didn’t approve of what I did. Before every decision I’d make, I’d be wondering if it would make me look ‘cool’ or if it was seen as embarrassing, as if going to the shops with my mum was ever ‘embarrassing’. I know people who have quite literally put themselves in debt buying expensive materialistic things to try and impress others, and people who have got into drugs just to try and ‘fit in’ cos that’s COOL right? I know people who have made poor career choices just for the money, as opposed to doing so because it was something they were truly passionate about.

Being yourself in whatever way may attract unwanted attention, from those within your life or those outside of it. As a woman especially, no matter what you wear, say, do or the choices you make, you’ll get attention. Some positive, some negative. No matter what choices you make in life, people WILL have something to say. I personally won’t make myself feel small or change the way I look, dress, talk or act so other people feel comfortable, and neither should you. Be proud, walk with your head held high no matter how many narrow-minded nitwits you meet along the way. This includes how you dress, who you chose to love and how you chose to show your sexuality. It is not your job to fit in. It is not your job to make others feel comfortable. You deserve to take up space in this big world, and you deserve to be, Who. You. Are. I have chosen to live my life unapologetically. I’ve chosen to LIVE.

Eventually, trying to live for others becomes exhausting. We reach a breaking point where we can no longer juggle our wants, our needs, and the opinions and comments of others at one time. Eventually, something has to give.

63


64


Hidden

by Olivia Golton

Perfection isn’t beautiful. I designed this illustration series to demonstrate how women would rather hide their face than subject themselves to other people’s opinions on the way they look.

65


66


67


Get that

cash The Small Business Grants For Women All Hustlers Should Know About

Words by GirlBoss Foundation

68


Who just hands out strings-free cash so you can turn your side hustle into a fully-fledged small business? The answer is: Not many people (or organizations, for that matter).

research and development. SBDCs serve as a good guide to local grants and funding options. They’re usually hosted by state universities or state economic development agencies.

While there are many options for small business loans, the number of small business grants are limited. Unlike small business loans, which have to be repaid (often with interest and within a certain period of time), grants are funding you get to keep. That’s right, once a grant is distributed, you don’t have to repay a dime.

Grants.gov Grants.gov is an online database of federally-backed grants across a variety of fields. Note that the grants listed aren’t specifically limited to women, but it’s a good entryway to discovering what your business can qualify for. It can be a tad overwhelming, but there’s no other database as comprehensive.

It’s a great deal—with a catch. The few small business grants that are available have arduous application processes. Expect a stringent written application, a meticulous review process, and a whole lot of competition. Small business grants can also be difficult to track down because of outdated websites, databases, or organizations that go out of business. The small business grant struggle is simultaneously extremely real and highly worth it.

Cartier Women’s Initiative Awards The Cartier Women’s Initiative Awards are designed for female entrepreneurs in the early stages of their business. The grant is open to for-profit businesses that are one to three years old and woman-led. Recipients go through a two-round selection process and are narrowed down to 21 finalists, representing the top three projects from seven regions. The winning package for the top seven recipients is $100,000 in prize money. Second-place finalists get $30,000.

Here are some useful places to start in your search: The Girlboss Foundation Don’t mind our ~casual plug~, but you should totally apply to the Girlboss Foundation. Since 2014, we’ve given away over $130,000 worth of grants to women entrepreneurs making innovative moves in the industries of fashion, design, music, and the arts. Each grant winner receives $15,000 in project funding, plus features on Girlboss.com, our newsletter, and social media platforms (oh, and they get two tickets to the next Girlboss Rally!). Grants are awarded bi-annually, and you can submit your application here.

Amber Grant The Amber Grant is named after a young woman who died before fulfilling her dream of becoming an entrepreneur. WomensNet began the grant, which distributes $1,000 monthly grants to women with a range of small business ideas. The recipients who gain a $1,000 grant are also eligible for an annual $10,000 small business grant. Eileen Fisher Grants The Eileen Fisher grant is designed for women-owned businesses that have grown past the start-up phase. Judging is based on the potential for “positive social and environmental impact.” According to their website, their Women-Owned Business Grant and the Activating Leadership Grant are on pause, but their Community Grant Partnerships will remain open. Watch this space, as they expect to introduce new grants and funding opportunities in 2019.

Small Business Development Centers A good place to start your small business grant search if you’re a beginner is with your local Small Business Development Center (SBDC), which is funded in part through the U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA). While the SBA doesn’t distribute grants to launch or establish a new company, they do provide grants for

69


Dirty thoughts

6 things you are thinking about during sex

(but probably shouldn’t say aloud)

70


“How does my breath smell right now?” In new relationships, it’s natural to want to put our best breath forward to make a great impression. Whether you have just finished dinner, spent hours talking, or had a glass of wine, sometimes we can get self conscious about our mouth-odours fear enters your thoughts you start performing closed-mouth moans and smiles. When he asks for reassurance, you say things like “mmm...hmm!” instead of screaming “YES! YES!” To prevent your self-conscious giving you a halitosis complex, always keep mints by your bedside table right beside where you keep your condoms.

We’ve all been there, in the middle of doing the deed, trying to focus and get into the rhythm for the big finale, then oh no, our mind begins to wander... Here are some thoughts I am personally guilty of thinking during sex and hopefully you can relate too!

Where do they measure up compared to your previous partners. “Bob was bigger, James was better at oral. I can’t believe my number is now up to 15 because of this mediocre session, but I wonder if I’m his first because it sure seems that way” This is the most optimal moment to do an honest and thoughtful comparison because after the wave of orgasm hits, you’ll forget how he feels and none of this will matter.

“What’s for dinner?” and other meal-planning related thoughts Physical activity including sexcercize promotes hunger. If you have been going at it for a while, you may feel your tummy rumble prompting you to eat. When this happens, my common go-tos are “What’s for dinner?” “I wonder if I bought any sandwich fillers” and “What time does the shop/ restaurant close?” After I have my dinner details figured out, I am able to get my mind back on sex and now I’m even more motivated than ever to finish, so I can enjoy well-earned my victory meal!

“Shit, did he ruin my dry-clean-only-silk-blouse when he ripped it open and threw it onto the floor?” *checks immediately after orgasm and clean up* Chances are if you had a hot date you were excited for and anticipated, you probably wore your Sunday best. Women’s clothing are a royal pain in the ass. Normal machine washing can not only lead to discolouration, size deformation and can sometimes ruin the material. Sometimes you need to be honest with yourself and ask, “Is this sex worth the laundrette bill?”.

“Crap, did I remember to shave EVERYWHERE?” Sometimes when you are anticipating a sexy date you might prioritize the brazillian wax appointment before anything else. We become so preoccupied with hair removal from the privates, that sometimes we forget the little stubble on our chin, armpits or our cute lil’ tail. Ultimately it’s your choice where you would prefer hair, but if you realize mid-pump that you’ve forgotten to shave your armpits, then keep your arms down close to your sides. No crazy reverse cow-girl move of swinging the air-lasso.

It’s totally natural for humans to get disctracted during any activity especially sex when there is so much going on physically, mentally and emotionally. It doesn’t matter if it’s a first time, or you’ve been in a long-term sexual relationship. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Let it wander, bring it back and go back to enjoying the moment.

That funny comment your BFF made when you mentioned him. *Gasp* “She’s right! He does look like a penguin from this angle! Hurry close my eyes, and stop thinking about it”. These types of thoughts are usually the hardest to recover from. When your friends have a less than ideal image of the person you are attracted to and a negative thought floats into your mind during intercourse, it can either make you laugh out loud, or kill your libedo immediately. Grab his fingers and put them in your mouth and bite down to silence your involuntary vocal reactions.

Words by Jenna May Clive; Illustrations by Cyra Watts

71


72


* C nt You cannot trap words like fairies. My tongue is not dictated in how it rolls by any man, situation or magical bloody scroll.

Words don’t fit in a jam jar and I refuse to keep a lid on it. Especially in regards to the word that relates to the body part Sharon stone famously flashed (hint: it wasn’t a tit). So some words aren’t adorned by delicate wings. The focus should be on the intent behind the sound, censorship only justified if malice is found. Is it because I have a cunt that I can’t say cunt? Believe me, it does not leave a bitter taste on my lips And it won’t on yours. My femininity comes under no compromise, Just as it doesn’t when I decide to invite someone between my thighs. I am more than the words I say, the clothes I wear, the hips which sway. I’m as powerful on my own as I am coupled in a pair. Not gonna lie, I’ll be upfront, if you disagree with my brilliant views, you’re probably a cunt. Poem by Sophie Young 73


over game game over game over over game game over game over over game game over game over 74


75


76


77


78


79


80


81


82


83


84


85


tribe. podcast & documentary

The trib e speaks out!

The team are excited to announce the new Tribe podcast and documentary series set to be realised Summer 2020. This series will feature numerous unapologetic women, females rights activists, big bosses and female entrepreneurs. Are you ready? We’re not sure you are. Have any female inspirations you would love to see featured? Contact us at tribemagazineuk@gmail.com or message us on instagram with your suggestion for a chance to win a special prize.

n o o s g

n i m co

86


87


sex club sensations what to expect at a sex club

Words by Jenna May Clive, Illustrations by Cyra Watts

88


Ask before you touch, engage, and even watch.

A “sex club” is self explanatory. Picture a dimly lit nightclub with some drinks and music, except at this special “club” you are allowed to engage in sexual acts. Most people attending these clubs either want to have sex or are extremely curious about sex. If this sounds like your idea of fun, keep reading to see what you should expect during your frist time at a sex club. Female-Positive Consent Culture Club owners want female attendance. The success of their club depends on it. They do this by either offering a discounted door rate for single woman, or enforcing couple only nights so there isn’t an obvious gender imbalance. Furthermore, you can get banned from clubs if you do not abide by simple consent rules. Ask before you touch, engage, and even watch. Women are encouraged to ask for the sex that they want. Ladies, if you feel uneasy about attending a sex club, expect to recieve respect not only from club’s staff but the club’s members as well. Members will make a conscious effort of respecting your personal space and boundaries if they want to remain a member of this exclusive club.

The absolute best part about sex clubs or sex parties is being surrounded by a group of like-minded people. Young, old, bi, straight it’s a no- judgement zone. You’re will be with people who view sex as recreational fun and not purely for procreation or obligation. Have a drink and chit chat with some of the members to learn more about them and yourself! Seminar and Themed Nights Many clubs host a variety of special events such as BDSM seminars, photography services, naked yoga classes and more! The classes are meant to create a sex-positive environment while getting you in the mood for some activity yourself. Also many clubs will have themed nights were guests can arrive in costume which can include anything from a sexy student, to leather and latex. Check your local club’s event listings and join in on the fun!

Stimulation Overload There can be so much going on at a sex club at any given time. Most venues have many rooms that promotes a different environment. For example, there’s usually a “club” which resembles a real night club: bar, DJ, and people dancing. There are changing rooms where you can get undressed and store all your personal belongings. Then usually towards the back, come the sex room(s). They have everything from private rooms to large group rooms usually with porn playing in the background to get you in the mood. Get ready for the dramatics. Some exhibitionists feel like it’s a competition between them and other party go-ers. Whoever can cum the fastest, scream the loudest, thrust the hardest, who is the most flexible, anyone can be a winner and there is hardly ever a loser. Most club attendees will cheer you on and support you. There’s a meme circulating around saying “the best sex sounds like running in flip flops” and whoever wrote that is not wrong.

It may seem intimidating to attend a sex club, but rest assure, the customer’s comfortness is a club’s top priority. Bring a partner, friend but most importantly someone you trust. Have a safe-word and know that you have the freedom to come and go as you please. Sex should be fun, and if you ever find yourself bored on a Saturday night go check out a sex club!

Not Just (Older) Swingers Not everyone who attends a sex club is willing to get down, but you are in good company, as everyone is there to have sexy fun. Whether it is simply watching (voyeurism), parading around in your sexy langerie, having sex in a room full of people (exhibitionist) or engaging in some group play, there is something for everyone.

89


PRIM.BLACK PRIM.BLACK PRIM.BLACK PRIM.BLACK

okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah okah WE SPEAK TO K BAILEY OBAZEE ABOUT HER PASSION FOR STORY TELLING AND HER JOURNEY TO EMPOWERMENT

Words by Emily Salmon

90


91


92


K Bailey Obazee is the woman that is changing the game for the LGBTQ+ community and people of colour. We spoke to content creator, writer and creative storyteller to find out more about th new launches, PRIM.BLACK and OKHA and their purpose to the black and LGBTQ+ communities.

a point of view of someone truly suffering, rather than watching the story of suffering being told by a person contributing to it like in To Kill A Mockingbird for example. I also began to see the lasting impact of slavery for the first time. I was 18/19 at this point, can you imagine.

You’re in the midst of creating PRIM.BLACK, a platform for storytelling. What were the experiences or influences that inspired you to create such a platform? It’s definitely inspired by my main loves, reading, and storytelling. When I was younger I never wanted t read a thing, but I realise it wasn’t the act of reading it was the content, it didn’t interest me. When I began reading books by Maya Angelou, Andrea Levy, Malorie Blackman, it clicked. The key difference is reading and hearing stories about us and by us black people.

Tell us a little bit about your own personal path of empowerment? What was significant? Every year I probably have this moment which becomes a mantra I abide by for a set period of time that will quietly inform everything I do, when I do it and why. I’m at a point where I feel that the power for everything concerning me is in me. I decide. The starting point was when I heard this...”And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”. When I first moved out of my family home, this quote from Anais Nin was all I could think about, I think Alicia Keys had it on her album as well at the time. It was significant because I was literally feeling so many things but couldn’t express it either by voice or action, but it was super heavy. Turns out I was interested in same-sex love and accepting that was when the transcendence really came through for me.

What are your plans with PRIM.BLACK? Where do you see it heading in the future? My plans are to create a platform everyone and anyone can access that will be an entryway to storytelling in it vary formats - visual, audio or written. Or for others to build on their knowledge of works by people of black ancestry, it will allow our work to be at the forefront not just when it’s ‘in’ or because it’s Black History Month, it should be available every minute of every day. Literally like music is to spotify.

Lots of people would hugely benefit from these platforms you have created. Do you think attending a book club like OKHA, seeing and spending time with like-minded people, or reading content on PRIM.BLACK, would have shaped you differently to how you are today? Would these platforms have had a positive effect on you as you were growing up? Yes, I think so. What was missing when I was in my early teens was a space of comfort where I could truthfully speak with people. We all have shared experience, no one is alone completely in what they are going through, feeling, or putting out into the world ever but I couldn’t find the people who shared all the bits significant to who I am. If I had met many of the friends I have now, I think I might have come into myself much sooner and this could have been very positive for me. What I had when I was in uni was the ACS, a very heterosexual space in my time, and whilst I maintain that the heteros really miss out when it comes to same-sex love what was most upsetting about those spaces was just how invisible me and my wants were. Being queer literally did not exist to many of them, and these were my fam by proxy, all sharing the experience of subjugation due to our blackness and yet here I was feeling like crap everytime I went to an event, but equally yearning to be around my community because our commonality was blackness, but that wasn’t quite enough.

Why do you think representation, especially in this creative context of storytelling, is so important? It allows us to get creative, allows us to imagine ourselves differently, to be transported into new vaguely familiar place. It also presents the truth about communities when told by the actual people of that community - we’ve seen the alternative to this and it’s not what we want. In regards to OKHA, why do you think it is so important for like-minded people to come together and tell their stories? It’s an opportunity to meet people and connect over our commonality - blackness. All the great things that come with it, the struggle and pain, the humour but also to better understand our individual cultures and the cultures of others within out community. We make a point to focus on black ancestry, but also specify African, Carribean and Afro-Latinx because each has it’s own way of expressing that heritage and this will come through in their stories intentionally or subconsciously. What do you expect for these people to gain whilst in this intimate space? Learn something, teach something but more than anything we just want people to enjoy the space they’re in.

Already you are doing some amazing things, where do you see the future of society? What do you want to see change? The future for me is always so hard to determine. What I really want however is for us to begin to build communities that engage with one another, support each other in all the ways possible. I want us to continue to do things with By Us For Us energy and to truly build, whatever your building may look like just do it. I also want Black History to not be confined to just one month in the main streams.

If you could pick one book that has really affected you or had a positive effect on you and your life (for any reason), what would it be? For it is Beloved by Toni Morrison. Before reading that book I don’t recall having read anything by anybody black. It really opened a new world for me, for the first time I understood from

93


we all have value, We just choose what to do with it.

Where do you see the future of your projects? What are your goals? PRIM.BLACK will be a subscription platform. The aim is to ensure every contributor can earn some coin right from the start, and we can also take those funds to contribute to supporting our fam in other cities and countries as well. I hope it serves to be a search engine for works by those of black ancestry. You are also creating platforms to give a voice to those who may not be so confident or comfortable, why do you think about sticking together and raising each other up is so important? It’s a human thing. The alternative isn’t encouraging to me and shouldn’t be for anyone. How did you become such an unapologetic woman? What tips of advice would you give to those women too scared to speak out and ‘own’ it? Everything takes time. I think as a Nigerian I naturally have a sense of superiority I genuinely think it’s in the Edo State water. My parents have always been unapologetic through and through and equally my friends, my school. The only advice is to believe you have value, we all do. We just choose what to do with it. Do you take homophobia and/or racism and turn it round to spur you on? How do you take negativity and turn it into fuel to continue being a bad ass? There is actually nothing anyone can say to me to bring my energy down. I’ve never been more unbothered by anything because I know who the real dryhoneys are. Top 3 tips to being an unapologetic woman? Just Do You Who is your biggest inspiration and why? My Fam. Because of them, I know what strength and resilience look like, I know how to navigate the world I am in and I know that no matter what they will ride for me, forgive me and continue to educate me. When you close your eyes and see an empowered woman, who do you see? This is a tough one. Right now I actually see regal cats, it’s an image I’ve been seen for a long time now. A cat has nothing to prove, they are powerfully strategic, tactful, gentle and very cunning. They get what they want, be it peace or your attention and move with a grace that is unparalleled. And to me, it’s what PRIM.BLACK is.

94


95


happy

fat The art of being fat AND happy

Illustration by Olivia Golton, words by Emily Salmon

“

NO woman deserves to get judged or bullied for the way she chooses to look or live her life.

�

96


There are a lot of insults you can throw at someone. But the one insult many women would probably agree burns the most is “fat.” Anyone who has set foot on a playground or who has been on the Internet knows the word “fat” is the go-to insultregardless of how much someone actually weighs. Twitter trolls throw the term around like P. Diddy threw parties in the ‘90s.

I’m not an activist for fat people, and I can admit even I feel flattered when someone tells me I look like I have lost a few pounds, but I’m working on it. And I think we all should. I’m writing this piece, not only to convince all you lovely lot, but to also try to convince myself. Can we as a society scrap the whole ‘skinnier is better’ and can we all just eat what we want, when we want, and not judge other women for their choices either? ALL women deserve respect, ALL women deserve love and ALL women are beautiful and NO women deserve to get judged or bullied for the way they choose to look or live their life.

I have been on a diet or carefully watched what I’ve eaten ever since I can remember. I get self-conscious when I see I’ve gained a few lbs and it changes my whole perception on myself, and I know I’m not the only one. Even to this day I don’t understand, why I am dieting, why am I trying to lose weight? Will I feel happier and look more attractive when I lose those 5lbs? Or will I look and feel the exact same and aim for the next 5?... Can we just think for one second, why is the word ‘fat’ so cutting? Why are women, including myself, so fearful of gaining a few pounds and getting called fat. I know the word naturally has so many negating connotations, society has drilled it into our brains that skinnier is better ever since I can remember. But what is actually wrong with being fat? Why can’t big ladies embrace their rolls and scream “Yeah, I’m fat, so what?”. Just because someone is fat, doesn’t make them any less of a person, any less worthy or any less beautiful, there is simply just more to love. When a person is fat people question maybe they have a medical problem, they must be depressed and eat their feelings, poor soul. When I hear people talk about fat women like they need to be felt sorry for, I just remember my sister at 14 shout “I JUST LIKE FOOD” at my mum when she suggested Slimming World. Fat people are JUST as happy as skinny people, or in the middle people, and they can be just as healthy, hard to believe right?! In fact, research suggests that people who are considered fat, lead happier lives. You are allowed to love your body; you’re allowed to love your body even if you’re fat. I really think the word fat needs to be de-sensitised. Because so what if you weigh a few more lbs than your friend? So what if someone thinks you’re fat? Fat, skinny, tall, short, black, white, they’re all just words, it’s the internal fatphobia in you that tells you the word ‘fat’ is a negative one.

97


98


tribe. SUBSCRIPTION don’t miss out!

After you place an order, it takes 1 to 2 weeks for your subscription to be received and scheduled by the publisher. Your subscription is then added to the publisher’s next production cycle and shipped via standard mail. The magazines publishing frequency will influence when your first issue arrives. Tribe is a quarterly print magazine available on subscription. To purchase a subscription please visit http://www.tribe-magazine.com or click the link in our Instagram bio (@tribe.magazine). One subscription is a one annual purchase meaning you will receive 4 printed magazines. Magazines are also up for individual sale for £12.00. Annual subscription is £40.00.

99


Profile for tribemagazineuk

Tribe Magazine Issue 1  

Tribe Magazine is a digital and print publication dedicated to inspiring and empowering unapologetic women.

Tribe Magazine Issue 1  

Tribe Magazine is a digital and print publication dedicated to inspiring and empowering unapologetic women.

Advertisement