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6 • MARCH 2017

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8 • MARCH 2017

MARCH 2017 Letter From The Publisher


Letter From The Editor


Business Directory

Pg. 16

Pg. 20

Houston Happenings


Around Town Pgs. 24-25 Mile High Gentlemen’s Club grand Opening Celebration Cut To The Chase by Vicki Chase Nightmoves Spectacle The AVN Awards Show

Pg. 28 Pgs. 38-41

Star Gazer


Crack Ups



Bulletin Board

Pg. 56

Houston Sports Scene


38-41 • MARCH 2017

Damn … What an amazing, unforgettable, wild and crazy Super Bowl!! Watching that game made me realize how true the statement is … “It’s never over ‘til it’s over”. The Atlanta Falcons should be ashamed of themselves and should have never lost that game. They blew a 25 point lead halfway through the 3rd quarter and the coaching staff is 100% responsible.

one of the best FG kickers in the league with Matt Bryant) and lead by 11 points with about two minutes left in the game? Stupid, stupid, stupid play calling and another Super Bowl ring for the Patriots!

Not taking anything away from the brilliance of Coach Belichick, Tom Brady and the New England Patriots … they still had to go out there and score two touchdowns and make a couple of two point conversions, but they had plenty of help! Why in the hell did Atlanta hike the football with 16-17-18 seconds on the clock when they had an 8-point lead with 3 minutes left? Why in the hell did they try and throw the ball when they were on the 28 yard line? Run three plays, kick a field goal (they have

Houston did a great job hosting the game and all the pre-game festivities. Throughout the country there is nothing but praise for H-Town! I hope all the area clubs, video stores and girls had a great couple of weeks and made a ton of money! Now we move onward to March … a great month with NCAA Basketball (March Madness), Spring Training (Baseball), games that really mean something in the NBA, St. Patrick’s Day (3/17) and the move to Daylight Savings Time (3/12). I hope you all have a wonderful month, please visit our advertisers and thanks for reading NightMoves magazine!

Paul Allen Staff & credits Publisher Paul Allen Editor John Gray Nat’l Feature Art Koch Contributing Columnist Vicki Chase Layout & Design Tracy Allen

Sales & Distribution Anthony Myles 281.254.9009 Photographer Misha More Morbid Thoughts Peter Martin Photography Mel Schwartz

Visit Us On The Web Face book : HoustonNight Moves Twitter: @NightMoves Show & @AANdott v


phone: 832-790-9102 Email:

NightMoves® Magazine 5090 Richmond #120 Houston, Texas 77056


©2017 NightMoves® is published monthly. No reproduction of content without express approval of Publisher & Editor. NightMoves® Publisher & Editor assume no financial responsibility for errors in ads beyond the cost of space occupied by error; any slandering of an individual, business or group as we mean no malice or individual criticism at any time; any promises, coupons, or lack of fulfillment from advertisers who are solely responsible for content of their ads. NightMoves does not condone or promote prostitution, any form of solicitation, or any illegal acts of any kind. Publisher & Editor are also to be held harmless from: failure to produce any issue as scheduled due to reasons beyond their control; all suits, claims or loss of expenses; this includes, but is not limited to, suits for libel, plagarism, copyright infringement and unauthorized use of a person’s name or photograph. Publisher & Editor do not promote excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages. Due to the active nature of the adult entertainment business, there may be personnel-schedule changes after deadlines affecting availability of models depicted in ads. All models pictured are 18 years of age or older. This publication contains adult material and should not be distributed or sold to minors under the age of 18. The name NightMoves is a nationally registered trademark, exclusively owned by Paul A. Cianci. • MARCH 2017

My Football Dinner with Hollywood Star Mickey Rooney Since it was Super Sunday time last month here in Houston and we just got done with the Holidays it reminded me of a dinner I had a few years back. MICKEY ROONEY was born on Christmas Day. His real name was JOE YULE. As a teenager Mickey Rooney was the biggest star in the world and he often reminded us of that. He was Andy Hardy in the movies. We first met at a cigar convention in 1999. Like many celebrities through the years, Mickey lent his name to a cigar. My good friend Tom Bonanne introduced us and we went for dinner at the Paris Hotel & Casino during it’s opening week. Paris Las Vegas opened on September 1, 1999, with fireworks being shot from the Eiffel Tower. French actress Catherine Deneuve flipped a switch, turning on all of Paris’ lights, including the various crystal chandeliers in the main lobby. Mickey regaled us with stories but, the best story was the story on NOTRE DAME playing ARMY in their annual game. Mickey was jumping up and down telling the story of the water boy who wasn’t good enough to make the Notre Dame team so, the Coach had him getting towels, uniforms and taking care of the players. Every day the student was seen walking an old man around the field before practice. The day before the big ARMY V. NOTRE DAME game the boy didn’t show up for practice. Game Day the boy showed up in uniform and begged the Coach to put him in for the first play of the game and give him a chance to return the kick off. Sounds like the Rudy Movie? The Coach agreed. Back then the players wore leather helmets and played both offense and defense. Well, as Mickey, was now jumping up and down from his chair and even stood on the table…The boy caught the first kick off


and ran for a touchdown. He was tackling, catching passes, throwing passes and scored 4 touchdowns. The boy won the game for Notre Dame and the players carried him off the field on their shoulders. Mickey had us in the palm of his hands. We were fascinated with his story. As he told us, the Coach approached the boy and congratulated him telling him how amazing he was and asked him why he never played like that before. The boy Super Bowl brought answered, “Coach, the the greats to H-Town. old man that you saw me here I am with walking around the field Ray Lewis! every day was my blind father who died yesterday and he never got to see me play…..UNTIL TODAY! The Coach was Knute Rockne and the boy was one of the legendary Four Horseman. Yes the story above is still fascinating and don’t forget the upcoming Charity Poker Tournament will be also be fascinating so please look on pages11, 32, 33, 34, 45, & 63. Make your plans to try to be with the Poker Pros in Las Vegas one of these nights or try your luck at all three. The cards and chips will be in the air for three fun filled nights in April. A seat at the main Event waits for the winner! Live each day as if it were your last and one day you will be right. Each day is a gift. Until next month......

John • MARCH 2017

MARCH 2017 •



ANGEL SPA 608 W. Mount Houston, Suite 100, 281-999-3200


8922 Leader St. - 832-298-6978

5757 Westheimer 713-278-7600


BELLAIRE SPA ELEGANTANGEL SPA 1710 Hwy 6 South - 281-497-8089

GOODTIMES SPA 9014 richmond 713-977-7787



5913 Gessner 713-271-0088

12745 East Frwy (Exit Normandy) 713-445-8670

1015 Saint Agnes St. - 713-383-9996





9441 FM 1960 Bypass W. Suite 110 281-318-7638 10602 FM 1960 281-477-0885

6239 Westheimer Rd, (713) 780-1222

9605 SW Freeway • 713-778-1440

BOOGIE’S BOUTIQUE 3303 Sage • 713-629-7900

BIZARRE TIMES 5727 Richmond Ave 713-334-2021 8261 Richmond #N 713-532-9990 8726 Richmond 832-767-0331

CINDIE’S 1641 Westheimer 713-528-6016 25915 I-45 N #C 281-367-3331 120 W. 1st St. 281-359-6864 7903 Westheimer 713-266-8665 3507 S. Sheperd 713-522-9339 4303 Hwy 6 N. 281-463-6234 16929 Hwy 249 281-897-9246




1706 Hwy 6

8314 Gulf Freeway



730 Hwy 6

9544 Richmond Ave. - 832-859-4088



7250 Harwin Dr. 713-954-7377 7171 Harwin Dr. 713-974-0440 8080 Harwin Dr. 713-278-8087

8022 Almeda-Genoa 713-991-5995



1222 Westheimer 713-528-4565

176 N. Sam Houston Pkwy East 281-445-7727


7440 WEST GREENS RD. 713.923.0991


EROS 1207



5125-A North Freeway 832-487-9500

10520 Gulf Frwy 713-944-6445



1209 Spencer Highway 713-910-0220

6340 Westheimer Rd. 713-364-1220



1367 S. Loop W 713-799-1300 12310 Hempstead Rd 713-462-7424 19211 Hwy 45 281-528-7861 2626 W. Loop South 713-960-1762 22401 Loop 494, ste 650 281-358-2720 13137 Willowchase Dr. 281-970-4980 821 I-45 North, Conroe 936-539-6607

1411 Spencer Hwy 713-943-2990

CLUBS CENTERFOLDS 6166 Richmond - 713-952-0799

CHICAS LOCAS 6440 Southwest Freeway 713-784-5900

CHIC’S CABARET 10255 East freeway 713-670-8438

CLUB ONYX 3113 Bering Dr. - 713-785-0444

6314 Gulf Frwy - 713-454-0340

10150 Almeda-Genoa, Suite H 713-944-4499

1207 Spencer 713-944-6010




5305 Easthampton Dr. 281-219-7999

3007 S. Dairy Ashford, Suite 1 281-293-9996

1340 Westheimer 713-526-9522

14002 Northwest Frwy 713-462-5152


6855 HARWIN DR. #T 713-977-1444


9413 Richmond Ave. • 713-974-5555


15803 eastex fwy


10520 Gulf Fwy - 281-944-6445



12804 East Freeway #400 281-846-6788


9009 Airport Blvd. 713-910-3953

5722 Fondren Rd. - 713-492-2888



13335 Duluth • 713-455-4424

7506 Park Place Blvd. - 713-645-3333

6881 S. Gessner 713-777-1783 17904 W. Little York Rd 281-550-8066

8307 Gulf Freeway 713-242-6555


8120 Steadman • 713-674-3805

GT VIDEO 9037 WESTHEIMER 713-532-0099

INTRIGUE 9374 Richmond • 713-244-2787

MEGAPLIX 5909 Richmond

PINEMONT VIDEO 7700 Pinemont Suite F 713-460-8745

TALK OF THE TOWN 8226 Gulf Freeway • 713-644-8140 10550 Gulf Freeway • 713-941-8447 4121 N. Freeway • 713-697-0542 19906 Eastex • 713-692- 6403 1201 Richmond • 713-528-1363


V.I.P. SPA 6318 Gulf Freeway - 713-643-8881

MALE DANCERS LA BARE 6234 Richmond Ave. 713-780-0930

CLOTHING & SMOKESHOPS ADAM & EVE 1111 Westheimer Rd. 713-521-2326 17531 Hwy 249 281-469-0619 25701 I-45North, Exit 73 281-298-0069



5901 SCHUMACHER • 832-491-1698

12344 Gulf Freeway 713-944-1957 7110 FM 1960 East 281-812-0696 4717 FM 1960 W. #101 281-893-1776 920 S. Mason Rd. 281-477-0885 7127 Spencer Hwy 281-478-9900 1401 Spring-Cypress Rd. 281-288-4700 6306 Fairbanks N Houston 3403 FM 1960, Suite C 281-893-1776

STUDIO 5806 5806 SW Freeway 713-789-4006

7 STAR SPA 11316 Westheimer Rd. 281-870-8686


KATZ BOUTIQUE 2720 SW Freeway 281-496-5296 16855 North Freeway 281-444-5289 9820 N. Freeway Duite B 281-847-9669 5555 SW Freeway 713-662-3000 1710 Hwy 6 281-496-5285 12843 Westheimer 281-752-7970 14707 Eastex Freeway 281-360-0009 27646 Tomball Parkway 281-255-2625


25170 I-45 North 281-292-0070


COVER GIRLS 10310 West Little York 713-937-7772

DIAMOND CLUB RICHMOND 3136 Richmond Ave. 713-528-8116


SPLENDOR 7440 W. Greens Rd. 281-477-3000

SUNSET STRIP 2425 Mangum Rd. 713-680-3500

TREASURES 5647 Westheimer 713-629-6200

VEGAS MEN’S CLUB 1925 Hwy 6 South 281-531-7900

VIVID HOUSTON 2618 Winrock Blvd. 713-974-2100

SPORTS BARS BOMBSHELLS - HOUSTON SOUTH 12810 Gulf Freeway 281-484-3279

BOMBSHELLS - SPRINGS 21005 I45 North 281-288-2769

ROOKIES 305-B Sawdust Road 281-362-9610


8503 N. Frwy - 281-999-6833

LA CHATTE LEGS CABARET LOUNGE PLAZA, THE 12330 Gulf Freeway 713-943-3561

MEMORIES CABERET 10314 Hempstead Hwy. 713-680-2552

MILE HIGH CLUB 18005 Eastex Freeway 832-725-0300

ASHLEY ANDERS 713-516-0026

NADIA HAUTE 281-318-8841





8710 Richmond Ave 713-782-2222

3416 W. 34th St. & TC Jester 713-682-2929



7010 HARWIN • 713-278-2356

5920 Hwy 6 • 281-859-2023

5133 Spencer Hwy Pasadena 281-487-1962




1712 N. Frasier St. Conroe 936-242-6801

3303 Sage • 713-629-7900

Criminal, DWI & Drug Defense 713-972-1100


MOULIN ROUGE 8930 Winkler • 713-910-4300


5705 Richmond Ave. 832-251-8400



7171 Harwin Dr. 832-480-9175


8900 North Freeway 281-999-0050

1244 Gulf Freeway, Galveston, TX 409-938-1515

7350 Harwin Dr. 832-480-9175



5726 Richmond 713-952-9692

4602 Dacoma St. 713-688-0600

9301 Bissonnet • 713-774-8200



MARCH 2017 •


18 • MARCH 2017

plAybOy iS GOiNG bACk tO pUbliSHiNGNUde pHOtOS, starting with the March/April issue, because of poor sales. Chief Creative Officer Cooper Hefner, son of founder Hugh, tweeted, “Today we’re taking our identity back and reclaiming who we are. #NakedIsNormal” Kate Upton is the 2017 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model for a third time. To mark the milestone, SI is releasing three different Upton covers, including some topless poses. We thought the trifecta was sex, pastrami and TV or Paul Allen and his Dad hitting Win, Place, & Show at Sam Houston Racetrack... But this works too.

bOMbSHellS iS eXpANdiNG witH tHRee New HOUStON AReA lOCAtiONS plANNed... Bombshells Restaurant and Bar, one of Houston Nightmoves advertisers offers great food and live entertainment. Come in for lunch or dinner and enjoy an m.r.e... Meals ready to eat, like southwest egg rolls, stealth bomber burritos, buffalo shrimp and much more..... Enjoy great food with friends on the huge patio. Bombshells restaurant offers an exciting atmosphere, great food, live entertainment and a great location with plenty of parking. There are two Houston locations open, with three more under construction and check out their ad on pages 4 & 5 for more details. RitZ CAbARet LOCATED AT 10520 GULF FREEWAY @ EDGBROOK as they are the home of COUPLES NIGHT, It includes cover charge for two and two Certified Angus Strip steaks and six gulf shrimp, fried, blackened, or grilled to go along with two tasty sides of house salad and fries. The Ritz has been providing you with quality adult entertainment since 1985. Also feeling hungry on Thursdays one can get a Bacon Wrapped Filet Mignon with a loaded baked potato during lunch from 11am-3pm for a low unheard of price of $8.99 and if you can’t make lunch you can have a larger steak, 12 ounces of Certified Angus Rib Eye with French fries and a cold draft beer for only $12.95

wOw.....piCtURe yOURSelf At tHe wORld SeRieS Of pOkeR MAiN eVeNt NeXt tO pOkeR pROS fROM AROUNd tHe wORld???...join Nightmoves and Snowman Poker as they raise money for a good cause and to stamp out a dreaded disease and last man or woman standing will be seated at the Main event in Las Vegas in July, at the Rio. for all the details see centerfold, pages, 11,34,45, & inside back cover for all the details or go to fORe!!!...See all your favorite PGA players as they tee it up at the end of the ,beginning March 27th just minutes from IAH Airport. And the closest club to the Pros is the new Mile high club and check out their Grand Opening pictures on pages 24 & 25. Experience the destination and check out their mew menu and great lunch specials. ROdeO tiMe AGAiN HeRe iN H tOwN...Be sure to save your rodeo tickets aster you attend as most Houston area clubs advertising in these pages of Houston Nightmoves will be allowing you use those ticket stubs for free admission. So continue your night in your Cowboy hats and boots and enjoy yourself this month with a Nightmoves version of the “Texas Two Step.”

XtC HAS twO CHOiCeS RiGHt HeRe iN HOUStON... XTC Cabaret is known for its energetic, gorgeous nude girls and affordable dance specials. Located in every major city in Texas, with two here in Houston. XTC Cabaret is a “B.Y.O.B.” concept (Bring Your Own Alcohol) which allows more value for your money. XTC Cabaret caters to large groups (bachelor/birthday/fraternity parties) –

SCOReS StARtiNG MONtHly feAtURe eNteRtAiNeRS...Lylith Lavey will be main stage at Scores this month from March 1618th so make plans now to catch one of her xxxciting shows at 6340 Westheimer. Their new Happy Hour is 11am to 8pm featuring $3 Wells, drafts, and wines complimentary lunch made to order Monday through Friday.


experience the notorious “chair of pain” - this is a highlight of the night for the party groups. A fun memory that you will talk about for years! Most locations are open after 2am providing a fun & exciting after hour spot, for the real party animals! Stop by either North or South XTC in Houston and find out why they are becoming more and more popular day by day!

lOOkiNG fOR tHe peRfeCt bikiNi fOR tHAt SpeCiAl LADY?... Head over to one of the three Adam & Eve Stores and check out the all their new Sexy Selections from Bob and Dawn’s staff. Take a bite out of the apple and check out great deals on bikinis as it looks like we only had four days of winter this year, you will be able to take advantage right now. Don’t be that other gal with the year old bikini and blend in. Check out the back cover for all three store locations and find the one that best suits you! ( No Pun Intended) • MARCH 2017

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22 • MARCH 2017

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Around Town Mile High Club Grand opening By: ms. misha morê The Mile High Club celebrated in grand opening style and has given them the opportunity to re-invent what it means to provide a true gentlemen’s club experience in Houston. Special features Leylon and Ciara highlighted the opening with their incredible aerial and silk performances while fire dancer Hannah Marie and Wendell Brooks on the clarinet and saxophone provided additional entertainment for the evening. Everyone enjoyed tasty hors d’oeuvres, great conversations, soothing ambiance, plenty of eye candy and you’ll understand what sets them apart. Mile High Club is Houston’s custom built premier gentleman’s club near IAH airport catering to class and sophistication. A true gentlemen’s club - experience the destination.

24 • MARCH 2017

Around Town

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26 • MARCH 2017

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witH ViCki



VIP witH ViCky

Born and Raised in Boyle Heights, Vicki Chase was always destined to be in the Spotlight. Discovered working as a bank teller in Los Angeles, the 5’4” Latina Model, armed with a 34C-26-36 to die for all natural physique, insatiable lust for passionate, hot sex and a strong work ethic have made Vicki one of the most sought after actress’s working today. This Latin booty won multiple AVN, Xbiz and XRCO Award thru out her career. She has starred in over 150 Feature Videos, currently has 85.000 organic followers on twitter, 90,000 plus on instagram and a never ending fan base that expands with each new release. Vicki is not one to rest on her laurels as she continues to diversify her brand name by moving into mainstream, horror and music genres. #vickichase to book for video work contract:

as! g e V m o r F e With Lov See You Next Month at the Charity Poker Classic!!!

XO XO Vicki

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32 • MARCH 2017

NiGHtMOVeS 2017 Charity poker Championship Hosted by Snowman poker April 26,27 & 28 at two Venues.

wedNeSdAy, 4/26 - SCOReS - 6340 weStHeiMeR Rd - 713.364.1220 tHURSdAy, 4/27 - SCOReS - 6340 weStHeiMeR Rd - 713.364.1220 fRidAy, 4/28 - tHe RitZ - 10520 GUlf fReewAy - 713.944.6445 event Check-in/Registration: Entry is limited to the first 140 players who register each night. Regular entry fee: $100 for players. Special Buffet and drink specials are included in the entry fee. High Roller Satellite entry fee: $375. Players can significantly increase their chances of playing for a $10,000 seat to the 2017 World Series of Poker. Winning this one table satellite puts you at the Final Three tables on Friday the 28th! More information is available at www. Start Time: Tournament begins promptly at 7:30pm. All players should be registered and seated by 7:15 pm. tOURNAMeNt StRUCtURe: This tournament is a No-Limit, Texas Hold’em Poker Tournament with re-entrys. All floor director decisions are final. Poker Tournament Directors rules shall apply if there are any questions. Players shall be moved by tournament volunteers to different tables during any round to maintain a balanced number of players at each table and ensure fair and even play. The Tournament will begin at 7:30 pm sharp and will last until there is one (1) final table of (9) players. Every player will begin with a 10,000 chip count. At the onset, blinds will progress in the following increments every 15 minutes. Re-entrys and Add-on: There will be an opportunity at registration for a player to purchase ONE 10,000 chip “instant” add-on prior to the start of play for $20 and a 5,000 Dealer Special Chip for $10. These options are only allowed before the start of play. There is also the opportunity for re-entrys until the end of the 20 minute break following the

800/1600 Blind Level. Players can purchase as many re-entrys as they like, but only when they are felted or they choose to surrender their existing stack. Players can make re-entrys only at the REGISTRATION located adjacent to the poker room floor Players re-entering may also purchase ONE 10,000 chip “instant” add-on for $20. In addition, beginning with start of the tournament and ending after the 20 minute break following the 800/1600 Blind Level, EVERY player in the room regardless of chip count, can make ONE 10,000 chip add-on for $20.00 at Table. blind level 1 - Blinds will progress in the following increments every 15 minutes. Players will not remove their chips from the table at any time unless directed by the Floor. All chips are to remain visible during the tournament. bliNdS 100/200 200/400 300/600 400/800 500/1000 800/1600 20 MiNUte bReAk so tournament staff can color up & players can make “FINAL” re-entry and add-on purchases. Last chance Auction: Last opportunity to buy back into the tournament. All players that have been knocked out of the tournament can bid to purchase a 15,000 chip count. The auction will begin after the 1,000/2,000 blind level and the bidding will start at $100. The auction winner(s) will be reseated at a new table by tournament volunteers. blind level 7 - Blinds will progress in the following increments every 15 minutes.


bliNdS 1,000/2,000 “Last Chance Auction” 2,000/4,000 3,000/6,000 4,000/8,000 5,000/10,000 with 500 ante 10,000/20,000 with 1,000 ante 10 MiNUte bReAk bliNdS 15,000/30,000 with 1,500 ante 20,000/40,000 with 2,000 ante 25,000/50,000 with 2,500 ante 30,000/60,000 with 3,000 ante tHe fiNAl ROUNdS: When the nine finalists have been determined they will be moved to the championship table where they will draw for their table position for the Friday Night Finale at the Ritz where the final 30 will play for the Grand prize fiRSt plACe: $10,000 seat to the 2017 World Series of Poker and up to $1,000 of verifiable travel expenses for airfare, hotel, meals and transportation to and from the airports. All other players that reach the final table will receive a prize package to be revealed at the event. NoTE: We reserve the right to alter the structure prior to the start of the event. We also reserve the right to alter the blinds as necessary to speed up tournament play. Proceeds from the NIGHTMOVES 2017 Annual Charity Poker Championship will benefit a registered 501(c) (3) non-profit charitable organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for children and adolescents diagnosed with cancer. More information about our programs and Children’s Oncology Services, Inc. can be found at www. players must be 21 years old or older to play. • MARCH 2017

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The winners of the 34th annual AVN AWARDS were announced Jan. 21 inside The Joint at Hard Rock Hotel & Casino.


Best Actor Xander Corvus, The Preacher’s Daughter, Wicked Pictures

flO-RidA OpeNS tHe SHOw

Best Actress Kleio Valentien, Suicide Squad XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, Wicked Comix best boy/Girl Sex Scene Kendra Sunderland & Mick Blue, Natural Beauties, Vixen/Jules Jordan Best cinematography Eddie Powell, The Submission of Emma Marx: Exposed, New Sensations Erotic Stories

best director - feature Jacky St. James, The Submission of Emma Marx: Exposed, New Sensations Erotic Stories Best Drama The Preacher’s Daughter, Wicked Pictures Best Director – Parody Axel Braun, Suicide Squad XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, Wicked Comix

MOVie Of tHe yeAR: SUiCide SQUAd XXX: AN AXel bRAUN pAROdy 38

Best male Newcomer Ricky Johnson

Best Parody Suicide Squad XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, Wicked Comix Best Supporting Actor Brad Armstrong, The Preacher’s Daughter, Wicked Pictures Best Supporting Actress Joanna Angel, Cindy Queen of Hell, BurningAngel/Exile Female Performer of the Year Adriana Chechik mainstream Star of the Year Julia Ann

Best comedy Cindy Queen of Hell, BurningAngel/Exile

A beVy Of beAUtieS

Best New Starlet Holly Hendrix

male Performer of the Year Mick Blue Milf performer of the Year Kendra Lust Movie of the year Suicide Squad XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, Wicked Comix Transsexual Performer of the Year Aubrey Kate

Find the complete winners list at • MARCH 2017

feMAle peRfORMeR Of tHe yeAR: AdRiANA CHeCHik




All photos courtesy © Peter martin Photography

bRett ROSSi

blACklANSky yeAR GReG eMMA HiX diReCtOR Of tHedAllAS

MARCH 2017 •

leXi belle ContInueD neXt page 39

ContInueD From preVIouS page



CHRiSty SteVeN, NAtAliA StAR & dilliON HARpeR






All photos courtesy © Peter martin Photography


Reily Reid


ASA AkiRA MARCH 2017 •

beSt ACtReSS kleiO CHAMpAGNe wiSHeS VAleNtiNe


MAiNStReAM StAR Of tHe yeAR JUliA ANN witH NiNA HARtly


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One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden. “You’re a Leprechauns,” she says, “I caught you and you owe me three wishes!”. So the goblin replies “OK, you caught me fair and square, what’s your first wish?”. The woman stops and thinks for a second, “I want a huge mansion to live in.”, goblins replies “OK, you’ve got it.”. Woman again thinks it over, “My second wish is a Mercedes.” “OK, you’ve got that too.” “My There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife’s friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife’s friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn’t get the lid off of the specimen cup.

last wish is a million dollars!”. The Leprechauns then says “OK, you’ve got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me.” “OK then, if that’s what it takes...” Next morning the little man wakes the woman up. “Tell me,” says the man, “how old are you?” “I’m 27”, she replies “Fuck me”, says the man, “27 and you still believe in Leprechauns!” A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says “But sir, its just a sperm bank!”, “I don’t care, open it now!!!” he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says “Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!”, she looks at him “BUT, they are sperm samples???” , “DO IT!”. So the nurse sucks it back. “That one there, drink that one as well.”, so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, “See honey - its not that hard.”


A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.” Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, “What are you thinking now?” He replied, “It looks as if I did a pretty good job.” As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.” She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?” A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”. • MARCH 2017

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Houston Sports Houston Sports Scene GReAteSt COMebACk iN SUpeR bOwl HiStORy AS pAtRiOtS StORM fROM 25 bACk !!! tOM bRAdy MAy HAVe CeMeNted HiS leGACy AS GReAteSt Qb Of All tiMe bUt JUliAN edelMAN’S CAtCH MAde it All pOSSible If Tom Brady didn’t make his stake for the greatest Quarterback of all time, he had to enjoy immensely receiving the Lombardi Trophy and MVP trophy form Commissioner Roger Goodell. Like They say Revenge is best served cold and the cool and calm Brady engineered a 25 point comeback, the biggest in Super Bowl history. Zero-point-two percent. Two in a thousand. The New England Patriots stunned the St. Louis Rams to win the first Super Bowl of the Bill Belichick-Tom Brady era during the 2001 playoffs, but even that upset can’t compare to the comeback New England pulled to beat the Atlanta Falcons 34-28 on February 5th in Super Bowl LI. The Pats pieced together incredible play with fortuitous bounces and impeccable timing to overcome a Falcons team that had a 99.8 percent shot of claiming its first Super Bowl with 21 minutes to go. What happened from then on was nothing short of a miracle. The Patriots needed just about everything to go right and had the vast majority of those moments swing their way. It all blurs together in the aftermath, but Brady had help in two unconventional spots as running back James White, who replaced LaGarrette Blount after his early fumble, scored three touchdowns along with a two point conversion and 14 receptions for 110 yards and rookie Malcom Mitchell snared six catches out of even targets, when the Falcons were double covering Julian Edelman the entire night. All of the greatest catches ever that came in Super Bowl have featured the Patriots however

the first two went against them like David Tyree in Super Bowl 42 with assist from his helmet and also in 2015 when Jevon Kearse made the grab laying down inside the ten yard line for the Seattle Seahawks. third time was definitely a charm for the Pats! In fact Edelman was triple covered late in the fourth quarter and If Edelman hadn’t made that catch, the greatest comeback in Super

Four plays later, New England scored, tying the game at 28 and forcing overtime. “If we didn’t have it, we wouldn’t be where we are,” Patriots tackle Nate Solder said. “That was a crazy catch by Edelman. In real time you couldn’t even tell what happened, but when you saw the replay, it was unbelievable. It kind of rolled our way today.” Two years ago, quarterback Brady gave the truck he received as Super Bowl XLIX Most Valuable Player to cornerback Malcolm Butler for his game-saving interception. This year, he has plans to do something similar. “I think James White deserves it,” Brady said Monday morning at the traditional Super Bowl MVP news conference the day after the game.

Bowl history may never have happened, and the New England Patriots wouldn’t have been Super Bowl champions. “It was one of the greatest catches I’ve ever seen,” quarterback Tom Brady said. “I don’t know how the hell he caught it.” It’s a play that will be on highlight reels for years to come. It was 1st-and-10 from New England’s own 36, and the Patriots wide receiver, fighting off three Atlanta Falcons defenders -- even going through the legs of one of them -- somehow scooped up the ball before it hit the ground. Atlanta challenged the pass completion ruling, but Edelman felt like he had it. “I knew I had a good feel on it,” Edelman said. “I didn’t know if a piece of the ball was touching. I don’t know what the dang rule is. No one knows what the rule is. I am pretty sure I caught it.” Replays confirmed the call on the field. It was a catch, a catch that will forever live in Super Bowl lore.

White, a third-year running back from Wisconsin, set Super Bowl records with 14 receptions and 20 points scored in Sunday’s dramatic 34-28 comeback victory over the Falcons. He rushed for the Patriots’ final two touchdowns, had a two-point conversion, and caught a 5-yard touchdown pass as well. The three touchdowns tied a Super Bowl record. Last month with all the Super Bowl hype I forgot to mention that my favorite time of the year was here and my favorite four words....”Pitchers and Catchers Report”. Spring Training and the Astros are appeared to be healthy and maybe just one arm away (José Quintana) from returning to the playoffs? We had a fantastic last 11 months here on the local sports scene starting with Villanova’s win at the Final Four and the a Super Comeback but we are lacking local flare? James Harden has the fans at Toyota Center thinking of going far in the playoffs. The Houston Rockets retired Yao Ming’s jersey and all the greats were on hand and hopefully we can contend with the Big 3 in Oakland and our nemesis the San Antonio Spurs lead by the best coach in hoops, Gregg Popovich.

Mr. Sports

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March Houston Nightmoves  

March Houston Nightmoves