Issuu on Google+

From My Turtleneck of the Woods to Yours

TRELLING TIMES Terry Trelling, Editor-in-Chief

October 2008

Issue No. Two

trellingtimes@gmail.com

On my sacred honor, I will report the news to the best of my God-given Oh Where Oh Where Has Our Training Site Gone, Oh Where Oh Where Can It Be? ability each and every Times

Into the Blue Sky Yonder

IN THIS ISSUE OF THE TIMES THE JUICY GOSSIP The best unconfirmed gossipy M19 news. Continued on Page 2

TERRY'S TEN PERCENT Are you in the Ten Percent Club? Continued on Page 3

Photo of...what was this again? Oh yeah, the Sing-a-long!

“DR.” NATALIA’S NINETY PERCENT Have questions? The “Doctor” is in. Continued on Page 4

MUDWICK MURPHY'S MNB WRAP UP The latest & greatest in entertainment. Continued on Page 5

A MOMENT WITH TERRY Terry’s highly important thoughts. Continued on Page 6

Temee, Teemoo?

Door to Another Doorway

From the Field Some of our favorite photographs shot by M19 Volunteers are featured in this edition

The Trelling Times | P.O. Box 1036 Central Post Office, Ulaanbaatar 13, Mongolia | trellingtimes@gmail.com


THE TRELLING TIMES!

PAGE

2

The Juicy Gossip WITH THE ONE & ONLY GRAZY BOOMER Greetings M19ers, Grazy Boomer here! It's been a couple months since we've had any gossip updates from the goings on of the newest volunteers throughout the great country of Mongolia. The M19's have been at their permanent sites for over a month now and rumors and gossip and have been spreading quickly like always. As usual, my sources are reliable but it's up to you to decide what's true and what's just a crazy PC rumor. Western volunteers seem to have fondness for puppies, tourists and wild attacking eagles! First of all, my sources in the furthest west area of Mongolia have told me that Matt and Laura have been hosting travelers left and right, turning Olgii into a new embassy of sorts. Latest news I've received is that a group of the M18 volunteers packed up and headed out to Olgii for the Eagle festival for a couple days. Apparently there was quite the party action going on there, with talk of Mongolian wrestling in Matt's apartment, lots of vodka drinkage, Laura trying to take advantage of Spanish traveling men and eagles swooping out of the sky to snatch up small children! Sounds terrifying, hope everyone survived! Also, heading a bit further east, rumors of Ben Cannon locking himself out of his ger got to me. Be careful Ben, winter is coming! From the beautiful lake area of Khuvskul, I've heard talk of Ryan strapping on his basketball shoes and winning tournaments and trophies left and right, leading his team to victory after victory. Way to represent the U.S. Ryan!

Some of the more central volunteers have recently been participating in games of truth or dare, resulting in some seductive phone calls to other volunteers. Sexy time, watch out PCV's! In the Chamberlain camp, I've heard that Leslie and Nathan are way too loud and rowdy so they've been asked to relocate from their apartment to a ger on the outskirts of town, where they won't be such a hassle for the local population. Calm down there folks, we're here to help people, not party like rockstars. My information on some of the further east rumors include Ridge's interesting utilization of local restaurant outhouses whenever he runs out of toilet paper, Rich having no cell phone service and apparently enjoying the Mongolian laaaaaaaadies during EAP practice consolidation. Some volunteers have taken intiative and had internet installed in their gers, including Alex in Sukhbaatar I'm told. Other volunteers have done a quick job of being labeled the crazy cat lady, as Ashley has in her soum. From the gobi desert I've heard that Stefan spends his free time in his ger listening to nothing but T.I. and in the health rumor department, my sources tell me Esu is dropping so much weight even he is a bit concerned, oh and apparently Trinh is losing lots of weight in his neck! As gossip and rumors have been pouring in to my office so quickly, I've had little time to sort through it all. This is the latest for now but keep an eye out for next month's lovely edition of the Trelling Times! Stay Grazy! - Grazy!

The Trelling Times | P.O. Box 1036 Central Post Office, Ulaanbaatar 13, Mongolia | trellingtimes@gmail.com


THE TRELLING TIMES!

PAGE

3

Terry’s Ten Percent WITH EDITOR-IN-CHIEF TERRY TRELLING

Dear Terry, I love pictures, could you give me some tips on how to take good pictures? Yours in Focus, Shy in Arkhangai Dear Arkhun-guy, I know what you mean. There are a lot of talented cameramen and camerawomen in our group. Cannons, Nikeons, Olympians, Rebel XTC5s, D5000s, D8850s, PowerShooters, CoolPixies, it’s almost too much to handle! Whatever happened to those original Kodiak cameras, remember? The ones where you pour the silver onto a piece of metal and then you have to stand still for about 10 minutes while it you blow up a couple lightbulbs to get the proper lighting. Remember those good ol’ days!?! That’s what Angel Adams did and look where it got him? On the cover of every TIME magazine, that’s where.

Anyways, what I’m saying is it doesn’t matter how fancy your point-and-shoot is, what matters is how you use it. For instance take these pictures, that’s what I did...

The thing these pictures have in common is that they are fun to look at. They have nice composure and they highlight their subjects. I heard this National Geographic guy talk one time and he said there is a rule of three in photography. Don’t always just center on one thing with blank space all around it. Instead imagine that the picture is split up into three parts equal parts like a lasagna for you, your mom and your sister. Give the viewer something to focus on in each of the three parts. It is more pleasing to the eye that way. Either that or macrofocus the hell out of something and zoom in like you are an ant or a beetle, that always freaks people out. Or focus on a raindrop. Or get a kid laughing or crying, or get two kids doing both. Yeah... Or if all else fails just flip it to Auto and take pictures of whatever everyone else is taking pictures of, like a statue or a building. Or turn the camera around and take a picture of yourself. People love that.

The Trelling Times | P.O. Box 1036 Central Post Office, Ulaanbaatar 13, Mongolia | trellingtimes@gmail.com

- Terry


THE TRELLING TIMES!

PAGE

4

Natalia’s Ninety Percent WITH “DR.” NATALIA NAADAM

Greetings, Happy Volunteers! It’s Natalia here again to discuss all of your 90% issues! It’s been a very busy time since we last spoke. You have all been placed in your official home for the next two years. Congratulations! Now, let’s get right down to business. Any kind of stressful situation can make your sex life, well, let’s just say complicated. In the last month the majority of the messages I have received have been from those living the “sexy soum life,” as I like to call it! I know it is rough being out in the middle of nowhere. But, that doesn’t mean your sex life has to suffer. So, here we go.

Dear Natalia, I’m living in an extremely small soum. I’m living in a ger. I have no access to hot water, so I rarely bathe. It’s getting real cold and I am finding it significantly more difficult to get the ladies to “visit me for tea.” Am I the only one who feels so abandoned? What can I do to solve my “tea” problems? Signed, No Nookie up North

Dearest Nookie, First, let me say how sorry I am that you feel abandoned. My dear sweet Nookie, you are not alone! You have not been abandoned! There are several other volunteers in your situation! Actually, if you would like their names and numbers I can give them to you! Maybe you can all get together and start a support group. First I would try calling the man I’ve been receiving the most emails from. For confidentiality purposes I can only give you a piece of his name. It’s Ryan D. Oh wait, that’s too obvious, how about R. Donnelly? I digress; I can always send you more names in an email. Maybe I can ask my buddy Ter and maybe he will allow me to run a special article next time with all the names and numbers of the sexually, shall we say, troubled folks in soums. N o o k i e, i n my e x t e n s i ve experience I have found that it is all a matter of mind set. Maybe you are giving out a defeated vibe. You need to reconnect with your own American sexy sensuality. My suggestion begins like this. Grab some of that coal that your hashaa family found for you. Start a powerful, roaring, hot fire! Boil up some water. Mix two parts hot water and one part cold. Light up

seven candles. One for each spinning vortex of energy we call chakras. Take special care lighting the sixth. This is known as the Swadhistana. Swadhisthana or the sacral chakra is located in the sacrum, hence the name, and is related to base emotion, sexuality and creativity. Maybe take a minute to think about how sexy you look in that del you just received from your coworkers. Or even how much weight you lost since your third bout with food poisoning this month. This chakra is considered to correspond to the testicles or the ovaries that produce the various sex hor mones involved in the reproductive cycle which may cause dramatic mood swings. It is symbolized by a lotus with six petals. Now that you are mentally prepared, slip into your tumpun. Don’t worry that your legs and arms hang out the sides! It’s warm in your ger. And hey, that’s just more of you to love! With this renewed sexually focused energy you should be back on your game in no time! I hope this was helpful for you! Let me know how it goes. Yours in Sexual Energy,

Natalia

The Trelling Times | P.O. Box 1036 Central Post Office, Ulaanbaatar 13, Mongolia | trellingtimes@gmail.com


THE TRELLING TIMES!

PAGE

5

The Latest & Greatest in Entertainment WITH ASYNDICATED COLUMNIST MUDWICK MURPHY Mudwick Murphy here with the Murphy MNB Wrap Up. It’s been one craaaaazy month for Mongolian TV. One word “O-lym-pics”. Does anyone, revised, could anyone, ever tire of seeing that big Judo man cry when the Mongieflag goes soaring in the air? Or how about when Mr. Bantam Weight mur-teared the Cuban 16-4? The last round alone was worth at least a trillion something views. That rolling thing he did when he won, prrrriceless. After four medals and plenty of Zas Bank (Zuv Bank) commercials, the Olympics had to come to an end. But no, we hadn’t seen the end of our newfound heroes. Fully decorated (where did they get all of those medals?), we followed their journey home. We saw them shine with pride as they received all their cars and their apartments and their TGS. But, sadly, like any meiker ride turned random milk-tea visit, it was finally time to say goodbye. Teget, MOVIE NIGHTS ARE BACK ON THE AIR!!…What joy when I tuned into the tube to find a Mongolian dubbed version of The Notebook and some French movie about a boy who has the worst life E-V-E-R. I haven’t been this excited about MNB since The Spiderwick Chronicles came on for the

12th time in a row. I remember two years ago when they decided to play the LOTR Trilogy over the course of a month in 20 minute segments. We may never see that heyday of masterpiece theatre again, but it will give us all something to pray for. Like I always say, “There’s no TV like Mongol TV.” It’s the one Mudwick Meeting the Head of MNB precise reason why I’ve become a Mongolian lifer. I’ll never ever, no never ever never, go back to TGIF and SNICK, or whatever it is that is on American TV now-a-days. No, give me news broadcasts that flip randomly from Enkhbayar to To send Mudwick a AntiViRuS. Give me four commercials shout out, write to that have been strung together in an MudwickMurphy endless loop for 30 minutes. Give me @gmail.com. movies that were dubbed into Japanese from English, and then put Mongolian However he may not on top of all that...or give me a cold ger answer too quickly in January. Mudwick Murphy has said his peace. Mudwick Murphy is an M-4 who saw his first Mongolian television a week before his close of service. He vowed to never go back to Perfect Strangers and Valerie’s Family.

because, as he says, the Internet is just a sorry excuse for Mongolian Television.

The Trelling Times | P.O. Box 1036 Central Post Office, Ulaanbaatar 13, Mongolia | trellingtimes@gmail.com


THE TRELLING TIMES!

PAGE

6

A Moment with Terry DEDICATED TO MUDWICK MURPHY AND OUR FUTURE REGIONAL REPRESENTATIVES First and foremost I would like to thank you, our readers, for your enthusiastic support of the Times! We are excited to have received emails from you not only subscribing to the Times but also asking to be a part of it. There is nothing we would love more than for you to become part of the Trelling Times family. Therefore I hereby dedicate this edition of A Moment with Terry to our incredible col umnists, both present and future!

Joining us in our new column on Entertainment is Mudwick Murphy, the famous columnist who has traveled the world from the deserts of Mozambique to the icy

caverns of the Arctic Circle. He is a blast to have around the Times, both as a friend and a fellow writer. To welcome him into the Trelling Times family, it would be great if you our sacred readers, could send him an e-mail or a Facebook message. Tell him what you thought of his article and maybe some things you’d like to see in the future. He is, after all, here to serve. Or anyway that’s what he keeps telling our other columnists Natalia and Grazy. Which brings me to my next point, our newest columnists who are so new I don’t even know who they are yet! You could even be one of them! All I know is that I, Terry Trelling, need you. I need your skills, your talent, your stick-to-itiveness, and your ability to inform me of what the heck is happening in your part of Mongolia! Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to become a Trelling Times Regional Representative and report names, dates, times, drama, gossip, achievements, disasters, and news of all kinds as you see fit.

We want One Representative each from the Eastern, Western and Central Regions and we will begin accepting applications starting... right now! No wait, now! In your application you will need to answer me these questions three:

1. What is your (pen) name? 2. What is your quest? 3. What is your favorite color? - From You

Based on your answers to those questions I will know whether you are Trelling Times material or not. To apply visit The Trelling Times on Facebook and send a message to me, Terry Trelling. Salary, paid in Mobicom units, will be negotiable, but I warn you: I am quite the bargainer. I once bought a turtleneck for 50,000 tugriks.

Good luck!

- Terry

The Trelling Times | P.O. Box 1036 Central Post Office, Ulaanbaatar 13, Mongolia | trellingtimes@gmail.com


THE TRELLING TIMES!

PAGE

6

All of the M19 Volunteers after our now famous Mongolian sing-a-long/swearing-in!

A Note to My People THANKS TO OUR STAFF

ALWAYS WANTED: GRAZY GOSSIP

As editor-in-chief, I would like to thank all o f o u r aw a rd -w i n n i n g, s y n d i c ated columnists once again for making this the Trelling Times everything that it is. Thank you Grazy, Natalia, and Mudwick for all that you do. You are an inspiration to all of the good people out there in Mongolia busting their asses for world peace. Thanks.

Do you know things no one else knows, but that you can’t keep it in any longer? How about questionable gossip that may or may not be true? Grazy wants it. Send it to her immeditately at GrazyBoomer@gmail.com!

DO YOU HAS WHAT IT TAKES?

Would you like to join our ever growing family here at the Trelling Times? Well would ya? We are looking for copywrites, playwrights, gaffers, waterboys and representatives willing to help out the cause of world peace and all the good stuff. If you want to join us, shoot us an e-mail at TrellingTimes@gmail.com.

ALWAYS WANTED: TERRY’S TEN LETTERS

Have questions about holding hands, cross cultural exchanges, how to survive a Mongolian winter or what kind of a turtleneck would look best on you? Ask Terry by writing TerrysTen@gmail.com! ALWAYS WANTED: ASK NATALIA NOTES

Have questions about relationships, sociometaphysics or animal husbandry? Ask Natalia those questions and more by writing to AskNatalia@gmail.com! She’s certifiable!

Staff Editor-In-Chief Terry Trelling Gossip Columnist Grazy Boomer Terry’s 10% Terry Trelling “Dr.” Natalia’s 90% Natalia Naadam Entertainment Mudwick Murphy

The Trelling Times | P.O. Box 1036 Central Post Office, Ulaanbaatar 13, Mongolia | trellingtimes@gmail.com


Subscribe On Facebook! To receive the newest edition of the awardwinning Trelling Times subscribe by becoming a Fan on The Facebook! When the newest edition of the Times comes out, you’ll be the first to know!

My name is Terry Trelling and I am proud to be the Editor-in-Chief of the Trelling Times. It is valued customers like you who make all of this work worth while. Thanks for your love and support! The Trelling Times is committed to providing the best news from the field that we can possibly provide, given inevitable shortcomings in internet connectivity, electricity and weather conditions, each and every Times.

TRELLING TIMES F RO M : T H E T R E LLING TIM ES P.O. Box 1 0 36 Cen t ra l Po s t Of fi ce Ul a a nb a at a r 13 M ong o lia

October 2008

Issue No. Two

MAIL TO:

Your Name Where Ever You Are Somewhere In Mongolia Probably Without A Zip Code

The staff of the Trelling Times writes for the sole purpose of entertaining M19 Mongolia Volunteers and in no way whatsoever represents the thoughts, policies or opinions of the United States Peace Corps. Also, if you are still reading this you owe Terry Trelling 100 tugriks.


The Trelling Times (Issue Two)