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Oluwamitomisin Onabanjo

Have you ever done one offense that you suddenly feel this abominable and unforgiveable? You journey into regret city through a guilt bus and give yourself a pity party and then just at the peak of finding solution, you resolve into “never can”. You remember you once told yourself, this is the last time I would watch a pornographic film. Oh lord, after this abortion, I am never going to go carry out another one. Just for this last time, I would go rob and when I am back. That would ever be the last time or this would be the last time, I would masturbate. Sometime it could be so huge like killing someone, and so minute as lying to our fellow brother and we often say it over and over again. Lord, give me a second chance but in our heart of heart, we know it’s not the last. Most times, we are so entangled in it that it seems we can’t survive without it. At those times, we hear this voice saying, you can’t be free from it. He is tired of hearing the “I am sorry, lord”. Human are bound to make mistakes. No one understands. I have often heard of the popular phrase “to err is human and to forgive Divine” This literally mean human is bound to make mistakes and that when we sin; it is of God to forgive them but beyond forgiving one another and God forgiving us is that left undone act of forgiving ourselves. The Huge legs and the One that ran is a story of a broken woman who having crushed her life finds it hard to see the Father’s Love until He came running to her. Just as Ella found Love and forgiveness, the lord is reaching out to you too. Don’t forget to leave a comment, suggestions and questions.

Happy reading.


Ella was starring at the audience for over five minutes with this blank expression “I don’t care if time runs out”. She could be best qualified as absent minded. It all seems she was seeing something we were not all seeing. In my thought, she was probably under a spell. Someone beside me said she was finding it difficult to express herself. Could she be shy? For several years of being a church girl, I have not seen so much confusion in the faces of church people. A minister quickly rushed forward to find a solution to this silence. ...Like a sudden crack in the wall, she broke the silence. The words came through like a bolting thunder, “He ran”. Everyone seemed to gather empathy of a sudden but just as we thought the story was about to begin. She halted and added, “God Ran”. At this point, I fell into a shock. I could replay, “God is good, church says all the time; Praise the Lord, church says alleluia; testimony time, church says overcomer’s time. This is very odd to a church mind. God Ran, like He abandoned her. How could God run, I asked myself? I was still wrapped in my thought when she began quietly.

Like a sudden crack in the wall, she broke the silence. The words came through like a bolting thunder, “He ran” “On Saturday night, which was the previous day, I felt the urgent need to hang out with my friends. It’s no unusual feeling, because I feel quiet empty when I am alone. I called up a friend or two but no one seems to be willing to hang out with me. I guess everyone was tired of hanging out with me. I was charming at the beginning of every outing but very pathetic on our return. The few, who did were strangers, or friends who went out with me because I offered to pay for their drinks, or men who just wanted to sleep with me. On most evenings, I ran out of cash, got beaten, hospitalized or probably placed behind bars for stabbing someone. I think my life was less than a flash. Things happen so quickly before I reason. This night I was financially broke, so could not find anyone to hang with. I took a turn to the nearest pub in desperation for drink. Has fate would have it; I met a fellow who couldn’t be different from me. He also looked desperate for something I wasn’t sure of. At least, I was sure of my own needs but with all the drinks displayed in front of him, he seems unsatisfied. Give strong drink to those who are perishing,

wine to those who are in anguish and let them remember their misery no more. My eyes went to and fro looking for a prospective drink buyer. I guess I arrived too late because all the men had hook ups. Having no other choice, I sat close to the haggardly looking old man. Probably, he might be nice enough to buy me one drink since I couldn’t afford one. Rather than buy me a drink, he took a walk. I thought to myself, something must possibly be wrong with me this evening. It appears I was losing all my charms. Oh! Beauty is vain, charm is deceitful but the woman that fears the lord shall be praised. I chorused my mum’s popular scripture. I grabbed one of his drinks since he was away, gulped as much as I could before he returned. I felt destroyed. How possibly could a church girl turn this bad? Because times and life have had a fair share, He added. The man returned sitting in the exact position he was when I came in. Two legs around the stools and two hands holding the jug of beer but he wasn’t drinking. I was taking by surprise. “How did he read my thought”?

I looked in his direction and smiled because I knew I have found a prospective. It was far better flirting with this one than steering at the untouchable drinks of an old man He seems unconcerned, steering into the jug of beer in his hands. Few minutes later, a young man entered into the bar. I looked in his direction and smiled because I knew I have found a prospective. It was far better flirting with this one than steering at the untouchable drinks of an old man. I approached my prospective. We exchanged names. I am Ella, I am Mark. You can guess what followed afterwards. I wanted drinks; he wanted sex. We drank, laughed, played tricks on people and finally ended in his car. I was still in the middle of paying for all the drinks I had taken with my body when we heard a slight knock on the windows. Mark winded the windows down a little bit. To my surprise, the old man was there steering straight into my eyes handing me a note and a scarf from a distance. Ella, this is for you. How did he know my name? How did he find me? I thought. We were miles away from the pub. I quickly collected the items. Taken by surprise, and shocked, I sat pondering. His face seems to be ringing bells. He was the same man that handed me a note at the coffee shop last week. He was good looking then.

What happened to him? He also looked like the woman that kept steering at me in the train. Questions seem unending this moment. All this is linked. They all keep leaving a note. I have to find answers tonight. Why is He stalking me? I quickly jumped out of the car to find him.

I wish I could take my past back but this was just a wishful thinking card. Images of what I should have been played in my mind. Why are you stalking me? I shouted. I took a quick look at the scarf. It was the scarf I wore to the thanksgiving in 2005. It was the last day my huge legs stepped into church. Where did he find this scarf? Who is this man? Opening the note, my hands shivered in fear. The note reads: “I have paid for all why are you repaying” Where is He? I shouted? I could not stand to know what I was about hearing. Where is He? Stranger, where are you, I shouted? I heard his voice from behind. “I thought you wanted to render your heart at the altar but you left your scarf instead”, the man quickly said. I knew that I was about hearing something unpleasant. I taught of taking to my heels. I was messed up, lost and broken. I wish I could take my past back but this was just a wishful thinking card. Images of what I should have been played in my mind. He was still standing looking at me. I could figure that he was trying to read my mind again with that confused looks that welcomed me into the Pub. I looked at the scarf and remembered the incident. I entered St Peters church one cold morning after having a self pity party. I was so sad and my so called “last resort” had just refused me. I ran to the altar unaware that the reverend was somewhere within the church. I was crying profusely when I felt an arm around my shoulders trying to comfort me but instead of staying I took to my heels. I left my scarf at the altar I remembered. Several weeks after I left the church, I kept brooding over the “have’s” telling myself, I should have, I would have, I could have. It was my only hope but would I ever be accepted, I kept asking? Now my dreams are shattered, it appears there is no hope left. I have failed several times and made excuses for each of them. I grew defences to those who wanted to correct me. What did you expect me to do? It wasn’t my fault. I tried. Why are you blaming me? You can’t understand. You were never in the shoe. What do you know? I wailed after people who tried helping. I was hopeless.

Looking into his face, I realized his face was blank. The reverend also looked like the man standing here. They all have the same looks. Could it have been the same man that was after me all along, I asked. The woman in the train. What about her? I couldn’t read them. So I did what I did every time.

Why do you want to die when I have already died for you? I told you at the coffee shop that I understand. I have been looking for you. I crossed to the otherside of the road and took to my heels with my huge legs. It was my most gifted part. I kept running through the dark. . I knew the man was old and would find it difficult to catch up with my pace. The whole world seems to look like a grave. It was midnight. When I felt life passing out of me, I threw myself on a rough edge panting and crying. I could not carry the burden again. My world has turned apart. The knife I always used to stab trespassers seems to be my only saving grace. I had no reason to live again. In distraught I opened my purse and thrust the knife out. I made cut all over my skin in pain. Each cut for everyone I had inflicted with pain, I said. But suddenly, I realized He also did run. He snatched off the knife out of my hands and wept in agony, screaming again and again. I have paid it all for you. Why do you want to die when I have already died for you? I told you at the coffee shop that I understand. I have been looking for you. I thought you recognized me in the train. I was waiting for you at the church, he continued. I thought you wanted to ask me but instead you kept pouring your flaws. I became sin so that you can wear my righteousness. I have called your attention several nights and I am still calling out for you, if you would only ask for my mercies. Ask for it now, Ella I knew this man must be Jesus, I read and heard off. His two hands had holes. Looking into his eyes, I could see flame. Could that be of judgement or mercy? That’s why He could read my thoughts. That’s why they all looked like Him. But I also knew I have walked beyond grace. I didn’t deserve to live. I have killed, stolen from people and destroyed people’s lives, marriage and all they lived for. I saw him reaching out for me, wiping my tears as he cried with me. He took me in His arms. I was taken by surprise. This was the only time I ever heard and saw God ran. I was ashamed, all alone. He held my head to his chest. He said come to me. I have already taken my life for yours. You don’t need to take it

again. See me on the cross. I have paid your price. He had forgiveness in his voice. He said, “do you know I still love you?” As I thought, I asked. Would things ever be the same? But I felt his love for me. Down that dusty road ahead I could see. This night I remembered His love for me. He said he has been waiting for this day. At that moment, I asked him for forgiveness and that he should be my God, saviour and friend. That was the night God ran to my surprise. Ella made a noisy sigh. Umm, smiling profusely, she announced, I now live with Him. “Praise the Lord”. The congregation chorused on their feet with applause “Alleluia” ARE YOU PERADVENTURE IN ELLA SHOES? YOU FEEL YOUR SINS ARE BEYOND FORGIVEN. YOU THINK YOU HAVE BLOWN ALL THE OPPORTUNITIES OF SALVATION. EVERY TIME YOU HEAR HIS CALL, YOU PICK TO YOUR HEELS AND RUN. THE QUESTION IS IF YOU RUN FROM GOD, IS RUNNING TO THE OTHER SIDE BETTER. THE DEVIL DOES NOT WANT YOU TO ENJOY THE FULL JOY OF YOUR SALVATION. HE THEREFORE BRINGS BEFORE YOU YOUR HORRIBLE PAST, MISTAKES AND IMPOSSIBILITY. JUST REMEMBER THAT GOD IS FAITHFUL AND JUST ENOUGH TO FORGIVE. JUST ASK FOR FORGINESS. ASK HIM TO HELP YOU OVERCOME YOUR TEMPTATION. ASK HIM TO TAKE YOUR WEAKNESS AND GIVE YOU HIS STRENGTH. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU FAIL. GO BACK TO HIM WITH A CONTRITE HEART. REMEMBER THAT WHERE SIN ABOUND, GRACE INCREASED SO MUCH MORE.

“Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous. The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord”…ROM 5:18-21 Simply make this decision now and he would save you. Heavenly Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus. Your word says, “Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved and “if thou shall confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and shall believe in thy heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shall be saved (Act 2:21; Rom.10:19). I believe your word. I confess my sins and I acknowledge you as my Lord and personal saviour. Thank you for coming into my heart, for giving me your Holy Spirit as you have promised and for being Lord over my life. Amen


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I have often heard of the popular phrase “to err is human and to forgive Divine” This literally mean human is bound to make mistakes and tha...