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Grade 3 – Lesson 6

More Than One Point of View Objectives The student will be able to: • Identify different points of view. • Discuss the importance of understanding other points of view in solving a conflict.

Character Education Traits This lesson promotes the following character trait: • Cooperation

Activities 1 2 3 4

Do You See What I See? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5 How a Robot Would Solve This Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5 Two Sides to Every Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15 Can You See Both Sides? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20

min. min. min. min.

Materials • • • • •

What Do You See? Picture, page 146 Workbook, pages 6, 7 and 8 Auto, the Remote-Controlled Robot (in your kit) Auto and person puzzle posters (in your kit) Review flashcards #24-#26, pages 63-68

Home Workout See page 147.

Rationale Research shows that children who develop empathy—the ability to consider another person’s perspective—are more likely to solve conflicts peacefully and less likely to resort to violence. Children develop the ability to empathize with others in a series of progressive stages. Most third graders are able to recognize that others may have different points of view, and many are more fully aware of others’ inner feelings and able to appreciate others’ perspectives. Most eight-year-olds can learn to negotiate by taking the other person’s needs into account. Too Good for Violence introduces the concept of point of view at the third grade level for two reasons: (1) it is one of the key elements in the process of developing

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empathy, which is critical for non-violent living and (2) it is also an important concept for communicating effectively with others. The children in your class are in varying developmental stages, some can benefit more from this lesson than others, but all third grade children can benefit from putting themselves in someone else’s shoes.

Before You Start… In advance, make one copy of the What Do You See? picture on page 146. Also, make one copy of the Home Workout, page 147, for each child to take home to share with a parent. Also, make sure you have review flashcards #24-#26, pages 63-68. Have the Auto and person puzzle posters displayed on a bulletin board with the picture-side out.

1

Do You See What I See? I am going to show you a picture, and I want you to silently write down what you see. There are no right or wrong answers. Show your class the What Do You See? Picture, page 146. Select several students to share what they saw. How many of you who saw a vase can also see two faces, now that someone else has told you about them? How many of you who saw two faces can also see a vase now? Auto can’t see the two faces in this picture, even when we point them out. Does anybody know why? Auto was programmed to see things one way. Robots can only handle one bit of information at a time. A robot can be programmed to look at the light part of a picture or the dark part, but not both at the same time. Auto can only see a vase in this picture. Just as you are able to look at this picture two different ways, you are also able to look at a conflict in more than one way. People who are good at solving conflicts can see things their own way, and when they listen to someone else, they can see the other person’s side, too. They can imagine how the other person feels and what the other person wants.

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Lesson 6

2

How a Robot Would Solve This Conflict Let’s see what happens if Auto tries to solve a conflict when there are two sides of the story. Here’s a conflict situation: Auto is in front of you on the way to the lunchroom. The line leader stops suddenly, and you bump into Auto. Approach Auto. A teacher asks what happened. Auto says, I was pushed. Then the teacher asks to hear your side of the story, and you say you bumped into Auto by accident. That does not compute. I was pushed. Would a person have handled the situation the way Auto did? No. No, because a robot can only see one side of the story. A person can see both sides. Suppose you bumped into a person in line. What do you think that person would say? Watch where you are going. If you explained that the line leader had stopped suddenly, and it was an accident, what do you think the other person would say? Okay, I see. It is really important to find out the other person’s side of the story. Sometimes we find out that we have made a mistake. What should you say to the other person if you have made a mistake? I’m sorry. Everyone needs to know how to say, “I’m sorry.” Sometimes we find out that the other person made the mistake, but it was an accident. What should you say then? That’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to do it. Turn over the third piece of the person puzzle poster and show the words to the class. People can understand how another person feels. Put the puzzle piece back in its place with the word-side out and leave it for the rest of the lesson.

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In every conflict situation, there is more than one side. Both sides usually think that they are right. Try to imagine yourself in the other person’s place. Try to imagine how that person would feel and what that person would think.

3

Two Sides to Every Story Let’s talk about a story now. Do you remember the one about the three little pigs? There were three pigs who left home to seek their fortunes. Each built a house. The first pig made a house of straw, the second pig made a house of sticks and the third pig made a house of bricks. A wolf came along and huffed and puffed and blew the straw and stick houses down. At the end of the story, the last little pig, who lived in the brick house, outsmarted the wolf, and everybody lived happily ever after. That’s the story from the pig’s side. If you asked the pigs to describe the wolf, what would they say? He is big and bad. From the pigs’ point of view, the wolf is a very bad guy. We usually think of him as a big, bad wolf, too, because that’s the only side of the story we’ve ever heard. Turn to workbook pages 6 and 7. Let’s read the same story now from the wolf’s point of view. I will read the story, and you should follow along. Every time I come to a picture, I’ll pause, and you should say the word for the picture. Look at the title of the story first, to be sure you understand. When you see a picture of a pig, what should you say? Pig. And when you see a picture of a wolf, what should you say? Wolf. Use Auto to look at the key if you aren’t sure what word you should say for a picture. This is how it happened the way the wolf sees it. Words that are represented by pictures in the workbook are underlined. Pause when you come to the underlined words to allow time for your class to say the words in unison. Hi, I’m Walter Wolf. Please don’t run away! I am a wolf, but not the big, bad one! For a wolf, I am rather small, and I’m not bad at all. I am a little grumpy when I don’t get my nap, but otherwise, I am very nice. I think this big and bad stuff started when I went to see three little pigs who moved into my block. They built three houses in a row. I went to ask them to come to my house for lunch.

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Lesson 6

I knocked on the door of the first house. It was made of straw. No one answered the door. I knocked harder. I said, “Mr. Pig, may I come in?” But no one answered! So I knocked one more time. Oh, my! The house fell down, and the pig ran out the back to his brother’s house next door. I was very worried about him. I ran to his brother’s house, which was made of sticks. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I was afraid he was hurt, so I knocked harder. I said, “Mr. Pig! May I come in?” I knew he was inside, but he didn’t answer the door! He must be hard of hearing! So I knocked one more time, really hard, so he could hear me. Oh, my! His house fell down, too, and the pigs ran out the back to the house next door. Poor things! Their houses were brand new, and they had fallen down already! I ran to the last pig’s house, which was made of brick. I was huffing and puffing by this time from all that running. I am really out of shape! I knocked hard on “the door and yelled so they could hear me. “Pigs, I saw your houses fall down! Are you okay? Please let me come in!” And the pigs said, “You have hair on your chinny-chin-chin!” They never DID open the door! They must have been so upset that they were scared of every little thing! Later they told everyone I had blown up their houses! Oh, my! Now the kids in the block call me the Big Bad Wolf. My feelings are really hurt! And no one will come to lunch at my house. I asked them all! Will you have lunch with me one day? The End. How many of you thought the wolf was big and bad before you heard his side of the story? Most of the children raise their hands. Do you still think so?

Most students say no.

Why does the wolf say he knocked on the pig’s door in the first place? He wanted to invite the pigs to lunch. Is that bad?

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No.

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Did he blow their houses down? No. It was an accident. The houses fell down when he knocked hard on their doors. What about the pigs’ side of the story? Why didn’t they open their doors? Because they didn’t know the wolf, and they don’t open their doors for strangers. Is there anything wrong with that? No. They were just being careful. That’s right! The wolf wasn’t big or bad, and the pigs weren’t bad, either. They just had different points of view. The story of the Three Little Pigs is the story of a conflict. Most stories are. Who remembers the definition of a conflict? A conflict is a problem with at least two sides. Every story, no matter who the characters are, has at least two sides. In many cases, like this one, both sides think they are right. They are looking at the same situation in a different way. If you were in a situation like the pigs, you would probably do the same thing they did. But if you are in a conflict with someone you know—a friend, a teacher, a classmate or family member, for example—you need to stop and think. Ask yourself, “Could there be another side?” Then ask the other person, and listen carefully to the answer. When you listen well to other people, what clues do you need to pay attention to besides the words? The way their faces and bodies look and the way their voices sound. Most of all, show the other person that you care. That’s why human beings are so good at solving conflicts—because we have feelings, and we care about the other person’s feelings, too.

4

Can You See Both Sides? Here’s another story with two sides. This is a true story about some third graders named Donovan and Marcy. Donovan’s favorite blue pencil is missing. It’s a really special pencil, but he can’t find it anywhere. There is a blue pencil on Marcy’s desk that wasn’t there before. Pretend you are Donovan. Whose pencil do you think is on Marcy’s desk? Mine (or Donovan’s). What do you think happened? Marcy took it. How do you feel? Angry. What could you do about it? Take it back, tell the teacher or tell Marcy to give it back.

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Lesson 6

Pretend you are Marcy. Your grandmother gave you the blue pencil as a reward for a good report card. How do you feel about the pencil? Proud of it. How do you feel when Donovan takes the pencil off your desk and accuses you of taking his pencil? Angry. Marcy and Donovan are looking at the same situation, but they see it in two different ways. From Donovan’s point of view, it looks like Marcy took his pencil. From Marcy’s point of view, it looks like Donovan took hers! This conflict could become a fight if Marcy and Donovan don’t think about the other side. Can you see both sides of the story?

Yes.

Now that you see both sides, what do you think Donovan and Marcy could do to keep the peace? They could ask to hear the other person’s side. Yes, before jumping to conclusions, they could ask to hear the other person’s side of the story. Turn to page 8 in your workbook. Let’s read each of these stories together. 1. Anita went to a family birthday party last night that ended very late. She didn’t do her homework. When Anita’s teacher asks for the homework, Anita says she didn’t do it. The teacher keeps Anita in from recess to do her homework. What is Anita’s point of view? “I feel unhappy when I can’t go out to recess. It’s not my fault I didn’t do my homework!” Do you think there could be another point of view in this story? Yes. Who do you think might have a different point of view? The teacher. Use Auto to look inside the red box and find the teacher’s point of view. Select a student to read the teacher’s point of view aloud to the class. “I feel disappointed that you didn’t do this homework. I’m afraid you won’t learn what you need to know.” 2. The Cub Scout leader is talking to Tran about a project. Tran is not looking at his leader. He is looking off to one side. Tran comes from a country where it is not respectful to look an adult in the eyes. What is Tran’s point of view? “I am pleased when my leader explains things to me. I am listening carefully.” Do you think there could be another point of view in this story? Yes. Who do you think might have a different point of view? The leader. Use Auto to look inside the red box and find the scout leader’s point of view. Select a student to read the leader’s point of view aloud to the class. “I feel angry when you don’t look at me when I talk to you. I don’t think you are listening.”

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The scout leader thinks that Tran is not listening, but Tran is listening. Those two need to talk about what is going on, or there could be a conflict. Now would be a good time for Tran to use his new listening skills and to ask if he has heard his leader correctly. That way his leader will know Tran was listening. 3. Frank finds a baseball hat at the park. He sees Joey’s name inside, so he picks it up to take to Joey. On the way to Joey’s house, he puts it on. Half way there, Frank sees Joey coming. What is Joey’s point of view? Give it back!”

“I feel mad when you steal my hat. That’s mine!

Do you think there could be another point of view in this story? Yes. Who do you think might have a different point of view? Frank. Draw a picture of Frank in the box. Remember to draw the hat. Allow a few minutes for students to draw Frank. What might Frank’s point of view be? Frank is angry because Joey is blaming him when he didn’t do anything wrong. Frank is probably going to feel upset. What was the name of the formula we learned to communicate our feelings? An I-message. Now would be a good time for Frank to use an I-message. Fill in the blanks for Frank’s point of view in your workbook. Select a few students to read their answers. One example might be: “I feel angry when you blame me for stealing your hat. I was bringing it back to you!” Where you come from, how old you are, the way your family does things— all of these may cause you to see things differently. Teachers and students look at things differently. People from different parts of the world look at things differently. Even good friends who are very much alike may look at some things very differently. That is why it is very important that we ask other people how they feel, listen well and use I-messages. Let’s review what we have learned today. You will need review flashcards #24-#26. Ask each question and allow students to respond. 24. How many sides does every story have? 25. The way I see a conflict is called my point of

At least two. .

View.

26. What is the best way to find out the other person’s point of view?

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Ask.

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Lesson 6

A conflict is a problem between people with at least two sides. If you are in a conflict with another person, you sometimes see only your side of the story. Try to imagine what the other side could be. When you understand how the other person feels and how the other person sees the problem, you have a great chance of finding a solution you’ll both like. Distribute one copy of the Home Workout, page 147, for each child to take home to share with a parent.

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Looking for More? Supplemental Activities & Resources

Language Arts Extenders Find the Feelings Have your students reread the story of Three Pigs and a Wolf on workbook pages 6 and 7. Tell them to circle all the feeling words. Mark the words that tell how the wolf felt (grumpy, worried, afraid, hurt) in one color and the words that tell how the pigs felt (upset, scared) in another color. Did the wolf ever tell the pigs how he felt? (No.) Did the pigs ever tell the wolf how they felt? (No.) If they had used I-messages to name their feelings, the wolf and the pigs would have understood each other better. Infuse Point of View Stop in the middle of a story. Ask, “What is the conflict in this story? How does each side feel? What is this character’s point of view?” If your students forget what point of view means, tell them to pretend they are the character. “How would you see this conflict if you were in this character’s place?” In the Other Person’s Shoes When your students have a conflict, ask them to imagine that they are standing in the other person’s shoes. Have each student try to imagine how the other feels. It’s fun to use old shoe boxes to make “the other person’s shoes” and have your students actually stand in the other person’s shoes.

Art Extender Perspective Practice Try this activity to further demonstrate that people have a number of different perspectives. Cut an illustration into eight parts. Divide the class into eight groups and give one part to each group. Tell the groups to look only at their part of the picture. Using that as a starting point, draw the rest of the picture. None of the resulting drawings will be the same. This shows that each of us only sees a part of a situation, and we often jump to conclusions about the way things really are without seeing the other parts.

Recommended Reading Seven Blind Mice, by Ed Young. The Putnam Publishing Group, 1992. In this retelling of the Indian fable, seven blind mice discover different parts of an elephant and argue about its appearance. They set out to discover the “something” by the pond, but their differing perspectives cause each to come back with a different answer. “Point of View” in Where the Sidewalk Ends, by Shel Silverstein. Harper Collins, 1973 or in audio Harper Collins, 2000. This poem considers Thanksgiving dinner from the turkey’s point of view. Use this humorous poem as a springboard for discussion of differences in perspective.

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Lesson 6

Recommended Reading continued The Owl and the Woodpecker, by Brian Wildsmith. Oxford University Press, 2000. This book offers another look at different points of view. These two characters have much in common: both are birds, and they live in the same forest. But because they are awake at different times, they have very different perspectives. Jamaica Tag-Along, by Juanita Havill. Houghton Mifflin, 1990. Jamaica’s feelings are hurt when her older brother won’t let her tag along with him. When a younger child tries to help her build a sand castle, she remembers how she felt, and decides to let him stay. This story shows that seeing things from another’s point of view helps us understand their feelings. Going Home, by Eve Bunting. HarperCollins, 1996. Carlos’ parents, who are migrant farm workers, are returning to Mexico for the holidays. Carlos and his sisters don’t remember Mexico or understand their parents’ excitement. When they arrive, Carlos begins to appreciate his parents’ point of view.

Suggested Video Put Yourself in Someone Else’s Shoes: Building Character, Sunburst Visual Media. In this 16-minute video, open-ended scenarios prompt a discussion of empathy and describe how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. This video emphasizes the importance of looking at a situation from another person’s point of view. To order or preview, call (800) 431-1934 or visit www.sunburstvm.com.

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What Do You See?

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for Parents and Kids In Too Good for Violence, we have been learning to recognize other points of view. You can help your child to develop this skill by playing this game together as a family.

Take a pair of shoes from each person in the family, and put them in a circle on the floor. Have each family member face someone else’s shoes. Name a situation, such as how the school year is going, and have each family member describe that situation from the point of view of the person whose shoes he or she is facing. After everyone has had a turn, have your family members move to face a different person’s shoes. Name another situation, such as an approaching holiday, and let each person describe it from the perspective of the person whose shoes they are now facing. Repeat several times or until each family member has had a chance to speak from all the other points of view.

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Too Good for Violence Grade 3 Sample Lesson