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The Axarquia Sentinella Edition No 115

March 14

ARkwRIghTs The British store & more

95 25 19 780





Tel: 607 441 959 or 654 184 242 Avda. Andalucia, 119 Torre del Mar Tel: 952 967 923 ge 45 e Se


The ‘FREE’ little mag that fits in your bag

Tur ni ng Dr eams i nt o Real i t y For Sale

Ref: S2-257

Cortijos Romero

For Sale

Ref: S2-255

For Sale

Ref: S4-136

Lovely 2 Bed 2 Bath Villa (90m² built, 612m² plot), convenient for local shops, Lake Viñuela and only 15 minutes to the coast, lounge/dining room with wood burner fireplace, f/f kitchen, sun lounge, 2 double beds (master en-suite), family bathroom, garage (easily converted), driveway, variety of terraces, gardens, large pool (9m x 5m) & wonderful countryside views

Los Romanes


Fabulous Value: 2 Bed 2.5 Bath Townhouse (110m² built), great location for local village, the Lake and the shops near Puente don Manuel & only 20 minutes to the coast, hallway, guest toilet, lounge/dining room, f/f kitchen, pantry, 2 double beds (master with en-suite with Jacuzzi bath), family bathroom, communal pool, terraces at front, off lounge & master bedroom

Lovely 4 Bed 2.5 Bath Townhouse (177m² built), close to beach & all amenities, sea & mountain views, spacious, lounge/dining room, f/f kitchen, utility area, 3 double beds, master en-suite, family bathroom, smaller bedroom/office, guest toilet, integral garage for 4 cars (easily converted), lovely terraces with awnings, roof terrace & communal pool



(20,000€ REDUCTION!)

Sales Price: 157,000€

For Rent

Ref: R2-257

Sales Price: 99,500€

CALL NOW to sell Your Property at:

Sales Price: 145,000€

For Rent

Ref: R4-076

Our New Property Auction Torre del Mar

Great 2 Bed Apartment, situated in a quiet area, only a few minutes’ walk from the beach and other amenities. The accommodation comprises very large living/dining room, modern fitted kitchen, 2 double bedrooms and a fully tiled bathroom. There is a large balcony which is accessed from the living room and the master bedroom

Exhibition (28th – 30th March: London Olympia)


Spacious 4 Bed 3 Bath Villa (200m² built, 500m² plot), with separate apartment, good access, lovely mountain views. Main floor: large lounge/dining room, f/f modern kitchen, 3 double beds, master en-suite & family bathroom. Lower floor: large living room, bedroom and a bathroom, various covered & sunny terraces, ample parking, 8m x 4m pool & BBQ

Rental Price: 700€ per month email: Enquire about Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, our FREE Financial Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar Advice Clinic Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414

Rental Price: 450€ per month Enquire about our next FREE Legal Clinic

(15th April: Hotel La Viñuela) &

(You’ll find us located on the main road opposite the Torre del Mar bus station)

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


CONTACT Us: Editor: keidi Email:

m Fro Ed... the

sales: kami - 664 210 468

I’m literally glowing with love right now! I’ve just spent four days in McAllen, Texas, with four awesome ladies. Two years ago, after all going through personal tragedies in their lives, they got together and formed a non-profit organization called Infinite Love to help the homeless and cancer patients in their community. And what’s more, they founded the non-profit on 14th February, 2012 – not only is this date Valentine’s Day, but it’s also the one year anniversary of the death of the ladies’ nephew, who had endured cancer since the age of eighteen. In light of his happy spirit and giving nature, Infinite Love was born. And these 4 women (3 sisters and 1 cousin) all spread such pure Love wherever they go… and yes, it’s highly contagious! When we love others without judgment, and from the purity of our heart, our energetic vibration raises and we feel amazing, in a state of bliss and joy. Not only that, but from this new vibration we attract only the best things in life and everything flows with ease. I imagine you’ve heard the saying “like attracts like,” and in the same way “love attracts love” too. So that means when we love, we’re also loved. And at the heart of life, that’s really what we all want, right?

Distribution Tony - 664 689 138 sentinella Axarquia Edition Follow us on Twitter @ The_sentinella or @keidi_keating


Deposito Legal MA-1435-2005 No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. So there!

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest in peace. (Born; 1960 Died; 2004)

Along with the fact that my heart is overflowing with Love right now, there’s other news to report. I am now an official spoon-bender! After a little practice I can now bend sturdy metal spoons with the power of thought and the knowledge that everything, EVERYTHING on Earth is made of energy. When we know and understand that, we can change the energy and


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so in our new wisdom we can make metal soft, for example… I’m not sure the owners in the eatery where I practiced my new spoon-bending skill in were too happy, but now I know that if I can change the energy of a spoon, I can change the energy of my thoughts too – and create the life of my dreams – just as we all can if we so wish. This spiritual “woo-woo” stuff just gets more and more interesting… hope you think so too!

Keidi Keating

Editor (of the original little mag)

Countries of the World.......................Page 20 Film Review........................................Page 24 Find the Face.....................................Page 39 Tongue Twisters.................................Page 40 Useless Facts....................................Page 62 Fruit & Veg Facts...............................Page 78 Funny Pics.........................................Page 82 Shareo’scope.....................................Page 84 Recipe................................................Page 84 Paparazzi...........................................Page 86 Amazing Marine Life..........................Page 88 Competition........................................Page 92 Star Signs...........................................Page 93 Whats on............................................Page 96 Information.........................................Page 98 Jokes................................................Page 100 Puzzle Pages...................................Page 102

Strange News Full Monty - A 100-year-old woman celebrated her milestone birthday - by hiring a male stripper for a party at a pub. Doris Deahardie even brought along her own bottle of baby oil for her special night out in North Wheatley, Nottinghamshire. The centenarian travelled from her home in a nearby village by limousine for the celebration, reports the Retford Times. She had chosen the stripogram herself from an online directory and requested the 'Full Monty' despite her advanced years. The widow, who lives with her son, Barry, and his wife, Sharon, had originally wanted to mark her century by booking a helicopter ride in a repeat of her 90th birthday celebration. Sharon explained: "She asked me if when she was in the air the pilot would strip for her! We told her that no, pilots don't do that, we'll have to get you a real stripper, and she chose one herself; she said 'he looks like he's been looked after'! "I told the lad he might have to be careful with her because of her age, but then she told me she wanted the whole lot! It was brilliant, a really good night.” Fairytale ending - A Peter Pan actor surprised his Wendy co-star - and the audience - by proposing on stage at the end of the show. Sandor Sturbi, 28, popped the question to his co-star and real-life girlfriend Jane Mary Sullivan, 22, at the end of their performance at the Glasgow SSE Hydro. He went off-script to address the audience, saying: "Ladies and gentlemen, normally this show would continue with Peter Pan watching Wendy and giving her a kiss. "Although this is not a normal show this evening. It is a Dutchman, Sandor Sturbi, looking at the love of his life." The actress, whose stage name is Lilly-Jane Young, burst into tears as she realised what was happening. Mr Sturbi got down on one knee and proposed with a blue sapphire and diamond engagement ring. There were cheers from the cast and audience when Wendy accepted Peter Pan's offer. Miss Young, who had been dating Mr Sturbi for over a year, said she was shocked and thrilled by the proposal. "I thought it was a technical hitch and was starting to panic," she told The Daily Record. "I feel like the luckiest girl alive and can't wait to marry Sandor."

New Year - New Approach to Selling your Property auctionsdelsol invite you to list your property for our upcoming property auction to be held on 15th April 2014 at Hotel La Vinuela. We have clients specifically sourced waiting to buy all types of property. For more information on how to list your property risk free, either log on to, call 951 233 924 or pop into our office in Puente don Manuel, we will be delighted to meet you. If you are considering buying a property through our Auction, you will need to register your details with us in order to be issued with your personal paddle number. You can do this either through our Website: by phone on: 951 233 924 or pop into our office in Puente don Manuel where we will be delighted to meet you

3 bed 2 bath, Puente don Manuel, £215,000 (pounds)

3 bed, 2.5 bath, Puente don Manuel, €190,000

3 bed 2 bath Puente Don Manuel, €220,000

9-5 Urb. Zalia, Cruce de Periana, Alcaucin Tel: 951 233 924 / 633 547 088 Email:

Menu del Dia - 6.95€ (Vegetarian 6.50€) Monday - Friday 12pm - 4pm 3 courses (including vegetarian)

Help yourself Buffet - Sundays Adults - 10.50€ Children under 10 - 5€ / 1pm - 4pm Includes various starters, mains, vegetarian dishes, rice and bread

Special Menu Monday to Friday - 10.50€

Poppadom, Onion Bhajee / Vegetable Pakora / Veg. Samosa, Prawn Puri & Chicken Tikka Chicken, Lamb, Prawn Vegetable - Vindaloo / Balti / Jalfrezi / Tikka Masala / Korma / Dansak / Biryani / Chicken or Lamb Tikka Pilau Rice / Naan / Tea or Coffee Avda Andalucia, Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar

Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053

Open: 12.00 - 16.00 18.00 - 24.00 everyday TAJ Mahal Restaurant

RESTAURANT AVAILABLE FOR RENT in Pasaje de Bateria Plazamar Centro, 6, Torre del Mar Large terrace Call: 631 342 193

Sunday Roast of wine â‚Ź 8.50 Bookings recommended

All Day English Breakfasts, Full Menu Open from 10am 6 days a week (closed Mondays) Karaoke every Saturday night (in 8 different languages)

Quiz Night every Thursday from 8:30pm with cash prizes

C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar

Tel: 952 544 362


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How Hard Can Creating A New Password Be?! Who would have thought that in this day and age that creating a new password would have been quite so complicated New Password: cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. boiled cabbage Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 1 boiled cabbage

Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 50boiledcabbages Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 50F*****Gboiledcabbages Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. 50F******BoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourBottom,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessImmediately Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50F******BoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourbottomIfYouDontGiveMeAccessImmediately Sorry, that password is already in use


Traditional Indian Tandoori Restaurant -Torrox Costa EAT As MUCh As YOU LIkE We offer an ´All you can eat’ menu (as many starters, main courses & desserts as you want) all freshly cooked to order

11.95€ Children under 10 - 6.50€ King Prawns not included

Menu del Dia

Poppadum & Pickle tray Chicken, Lamb or Prawn Curry, Rice or Naan Bread Only 7€ (Vegetarian curry - 6.50€)

Open every day - 12.00 - 16.00 / 18.00 - 24.00 (closed Tuesday Lunch) Ctra Nacional - 340 (Next to Post Office) Torrox Costa

Tel: 95 253 4972 / 634 051 535

GARDEN CENTRE Ornamental Plants, Fruit Trees & Ceramics Ctra. Nacional, 340 - C/Pantano, s/n - El Penoncillo TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 532 496 - Fax: 952 527 527 Email:




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They Do Grow On Trees ! Guess what this is?

They are Vietnamese Pumpkins!! Oh yes they are! All different shapes and sizes! Wonder what the neighbours will say when you plant some of these along the fence next year and I wonder what they taste like?!

You didn’t think it was that did you?!


On Of go fer ing s!! !

PVC & Aluminium WindoWs & doors


w Doors w Windows w Sun Blinds w Mosquito Nets w Shower Doors w Blinds w Shutters El Cruce de Periana, Edf. Alzabel Bajo No. 3, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin

Tel: 951 204 011 Mob: 608 241 429






Monday - Thursday Day & Night (except Monday lunch) Poppadam & Pickles Selection of starters: vegetable samosa or pakora or onion bhaji or Prawn puri or Chicken tikka Main course: chicken, lamb, prawn or vegatable: Korma, Madras, Vindaloo, Balti, Jalfrezy, Rogan Josh, Tikka Masala, Karahi, Biriyani or Chicken or Lamb Tikka Accompaniments: Plain or Pilau rice. Plain, Garlic, Cheese or Onion Nan Bread or Chapati FREE Pappadam with Mango Chutney & Pickle Tray with all meals

Menu del Dia Mon-Fri 12pm - 4pm 3 courses €5.95 with veg. curry €6.95 with meat/prawn curry

Takeaways available Free Pappadam & pickle with takeaways

Opening hours 12pm - 4pm and 6pm - 12am every day (closed Monday lunch) Puente don Manuel (Chiringuito Antonio) Tel: 952 510 886 Mob: 667 934 731


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De Cotta Law RENTAL OF SPANISH PROPERTY By De Cotta Law A number of British and other foreign residents have returned to their home countries to find work or for health or social reasons. Many want to keep their Spanish property rather than selling in a buyer´s market. Although the price of property is recovering renting the Spanish property can bring a steady income which covers the running costs and in some cases pays part or all of a mortgage. Standard rental contracts can be purchased off the peg but it is wise to get some advice on the law on Urban rentals so that you don´t have any surprises. The best way of avoiding a dispute is to have a formal contract tailored to your particular situation. For example a short-term contract of 6 to 11 months is better if you don`t want to be obliged to extend the contract term to 3 years and a further 1. However a tenant who can show that it is their principal residence or “home” and that they have been in the property for a continual period of a year or more can contest the continual granting of “short-term” contracts. If however you are a landlord and need to return to the property to live on a permanent basis you can give 2 months’ notice to quit to the tenant. Another possibility is that you are trying to sell the property and may require access for viewing by potential purchasers. This needs to be very clearly put in the contract to avoid any problems. A one month deposit is normal in rental contracts and tenants normally pay for utilities. As a landlord is very important to have Civil Responsibility insurance and to specify that you want this to cover a rented property. For non-tax residents who rent out property taxation of 24.75% is levied on rentals. A form 210 needs to be completed if you are a nonresident Spanish property owner. This can be entered quarterly and if you are joint owners each owner you must both submit this form. If you are a tax resident in the UK and declare the rental in the UK you can make a double tax claim to ensure you are not paying twice and relief will be given equal to the Spanish tax paid or the UK tax liability which is the smaller. Tax residents need to declare rental on property other than their home. This needs to be de-

clared on your annual return. There are generous allowances and many expenses are deductible and accountants can advise on this aspect of rentals. There are a number of ways the tax authorities are catching up on undeclared rentals such as tying up changes in utilities with ownership of properties as this can show the existence of an undeclared rental contract. For more information on any aspect of property law or other legal matter, please contact your Nerja De Cotta Law Office for a private consultation. Tel.: +34 952 527 014 Fax: +34 952 523 428 Email: nerja@decottalaw C/Diputacion 11, 29780, Nerja Open Day, Nerja Office FREE Legal Consultations Tuesday 4th March from 11am - 4pm Property, Family Law, Mortgage Interest Overcharging

To Advertise Call 664 210 468

Good Security Question Is my home insurance invalid if I don't set my burglar alarm? If you take advantage of the discount on your homeowner's insurance because you have a security system installed, you should know this. If you don’t use your alarm, or are prone to forget to turn it on and are subsequently burgled, you may have your claim turned down as your insurer could argue that you have failed to take reasonable steps to protect your property. Also, insurances do not pay out without regular servicing of the alarm and a certificate that has been done by a qualified company. You should ask for an invoice with the tax number of both yourself and the company. You should always insist on a regular service by your installer, whether you have home insurance or not. The security system is set up for you and not for the insurance company. We think any small discount you might get is not worth it. It just opens another back door for the insurance company to get away with endless discussions if you can’t prove proper arming and service. When you need any guidance or help concerning your home security, get in touch with us. ¡PERFECT Alarm! SL

“PEACE OF MIND” FOR LIFE FROM IBERIAN FUNERAL PLANS Why even think about your own funeral? Because, like it or not, one certainty in life is, we are all going to die. But normally none of us know how, when or where death will occur.

JUST THINK  1. Would your family or friends know who to contact in the first place? 2. Could they cope with the language barrier? 3. Could they cope with all the paperwork and legalities? 4. Would funds be readily available to cover costs? 5. Family could be thousands of miles away 6. Would they have any control over costs at a time of grief? A GUARANTEED PREPAID FUNERAL PLAN WITH IBERIAN FUNERAL PLANS GIVES “PEACE OF MIND” FOR LIFE’S FINAL EVENT. BENEFITS INCLUDE:

1.Funeral costs are fixed - no matter how long you live. 2. No health or age restrictions - unlike some insurances. 3. Removes pressure from loved ones at a time of stress. 4. Fully operational and legally registered Spanish company, which complies with all Spanish requirements (for security). 5.Reputable contracted English speaking funeral directors. 6. No interest charges should you wish to spread payments. 7. Plans are fully transferable to UK should you relocate. 8.No obligation - no pressure home visits from our dedicated staff. For more information contact:

David knight on 952 491 788 / 625 410 735 Email: Reg CIF 11138305 / B93156107

Go to: for all our offers!

Highest Quality, Lowest Price!! Stores located at: Avda. Andalucia, CALETA DE VELEZ & TORROX COSTA

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Definitions Of The Word Up! Who could have thought that one teeny weeny word could have so many meanings...!

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.

When we awake in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has really special meanings. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. This UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about 30 definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with 100 or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it doesn't rain for a while, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so............. Time to shut UP.....!

Fresh Daily Fruit, Salad & Vegetables & so much more! FRESHNESS GUARANTEED! All the usual favourites inc. Parsnips, Swede, Sprouts, Fennel, Fresh Herbs and all seasonal Fruit & Veg Great range of Homemade Pies, inc. Steak & Kidney, Steak & Guinness and Chicken & Mushroom. HOT Sausage Rolls and Cornish style Pasties cooked on the premises NOW - Handmade Sausages from ‘Ye Olde Butcher’. Lots of varieties inc. Pork & Leek, Tomato & Oregano, Lincolnshire, Cumberland, Chilli & Garlic and more Come and try our renowned Honey Roast Ham and NOW Roast Beef - Delicious!! *Extra Mature Somerset Cheddar Cheese *Wide range of Homemade Pickles *Fresh Farm Eggs *Variety of Personalised Greeting Cards *Large Variety of Freshly Prepared Ready Meals Wholesale supply to bars & shops also available OPENING HOURS - Open Mon - Sat 10am - 2pm except Fridays 10am - 3.30pm

Call Sharon: 685 324 709 (Note New Number) Camino Venta Baja, Puente don Manuel

DIsCOUNT MOTORIsT CENTRE YOUR BRITIsh FAsT FIT CENTRE NEW Trade Counter now open! Call: 664 763 344

whILE YOU wAIT  sERVICE 20% off All Clutches 15% off All Cambelts

Up to

50% off All Brakes fitted (off PVP)


(same day fitting service available)

Full Service


+ Parts


Starter motors & alternators repaired (cheaper than recon/new)


Call John:

952 507 144 / 664 763 344 C/ Julio Romero de Torre, 1 Poligno Industrial Panoleta Velez Malaga

Industrial Estate TUVESA

Proneumaticos All major debit and credit cards accepted


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es l d i r t n Wor u o C he n Of T abo

o , is list .. Z A s. rl d trie wo coun e d th ble oun re sta r r ou mo 4 in rica’s 6 r f e st A mb We Nu


Population - 1.5 million Language - French Located - West Africa Capital - Libreville Currency - CFA Religion - Christian Main Exports - Crude oil Literacy Rate - 88% Life Expectancy - 63 years g.D.P. Per Capita - US $8,080 Total Area - 267,667 sq km National sport - Football



Interesting Facts - The nation's present name originates from "Gabão", Portuguese for "cloak", which is roughly the shape of the estuary of the Komo River by Libreville. A small population and oil and mineral reserves have helped Gabon become one of Africa's wealthier countries; in general, these circumstances have allowed the country to maintain and conserve its pristine rain forest and rich biodiversity. El Hadj Omar Bongo Ondimba - one of the longest-serving heads of state in the world dominated the country's political scene for four decades (1967-2009) following independence from France in 1960. In 2002, President Omar Bongo Ondimba nominated more than 11% of Gabon's territory as National Park (13 parks in total), which may be the largest area of nature parks in the world. The Pygmy people were the first of Gabon's ethnic groups to inhabit the country.

B O A R D I N g C AT T E RY Canillas de Aceituno

We offer safe, tranquil accomodation for your cat. Our pens are safe and secure but with all the comforts of home, making it very cosy. Only 20 mins from Torre del Mar, inland towards Vinuela, Campo Cats is a short 2 min drive from a main tarmac road which gives very good access. We welcome inspection visits where we can discuss your cat’s personal needs. We only accept cats that are fully vaccinated Also, we can provide a collection & delivery service. For further details, call Linda on: 665 510 735 Campo Cats Cattery

wide range of systems


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Nick Turner Refurbs - New Property Management We are a company specialising in UPVC and aluminium windows, doors and glass curtains. We also cover all aspects of building works from full property refurbs to general repairs, and over the years, we have established a good reputation in the area for the quality of work that we carry out. We have many returning customers. Our main aim is to liaise closely with all our customers and keep them updated via email or telephone. Most of our customers find this invaluable, as many of the homes we work on are holiday homes or rental properties. From this, there seemed to be a natural progression for the business and therefore we are now very pleased to be able to offer a property management service to take care of all your needs. The services we offer include a booking management service for holiday rentals, cleaning and laundry, pool maintenance and gardening. The service can be tailormade to your needs and as we can offer a complete package, it will give you peace of mind if you aren’t permanently resident in Spain and need your property taken care of.

Please feel free to contact us for a chat about any of the services we offer, and for further information, please visit our website;

Nick Turner Refurbs

Specialising in UPVC & Aluminium windows & Official Suppliers and doors & Glass Curtains Installers of All Glass We also offer all building services glass curtains & a full property management service Booking Management Service For Holiday Rentals Cleaning, Laundry, Pool Maintenance & Gardening

Mobile: 679 113 600

Up to date vehicle diagnostics from €20 exc. IVA

ITV and if required we will take your car for you

All makes & models

Air conditioning recharge from €40 inc. IVA servicing includes FREE pre-ITV with all full services

Feb FREE winter check

20% off Clutches


Translation available for any paperwork you may need help with. Car transfer, hospital or Doctor’s appointments, NIE numbers, residencias, all at reasonable rates. Call Brenda O’Brien on: 711 700 781 Come in from the Peugeot garage, past Tuvesa on the right, straight on at the crossroads, Left at the top past the waste ground on the right take first right at the bar sOL Y LUNA, then 1st left

Calle Claudio Coello, 9 Poligono la Panoleta, Velez Malaga

Monday - Thursday 9am - 7pm Friday 9am - 5pm unless otherwise arranged

Talleres simon

Credit Cards taken


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August: Osage County tells the dark, hilarious and deeply touching story of the strong-willed women of the Weston family, whose lives have diverged until a family crisis brings them back to the Midwest house they grew up in, and to the dysfunctional woman who raised them. Letts' play made its Broadway debut in December 2007 after premiering at Chicago's legendary Steppenwolf Theatre earlier that year. It continued with a successful international run. The themes of the movie largely revolve

around sisterly feuding, unhappy marriage, adultery, cancer, incest and death. No one has a kind word to say about anyone. It’s a starstudded cast with Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Ewan McGregor, Sam Shepard, Chris Cooper, and Benedict Cumberbatch among the actors.

Rating: ***/*****


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What Has The World Come To? These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On a bag of crisps: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On some swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!) On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction

On a korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...) On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.) On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) On sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

1970 Karmann Ghia

Rebuilt Engine Rechromed Resprayed Black Leather Interior Empi 8 Wheels New Windows Spanish Registered

Offers over 8,000â‚Ź Tel: 951 067 758 / 629 019 505 Puente don Manuel area

IPTV Internet TV - From InterVision All UK TV Channels Available Including BBC, ITV, SKY, BT Everything!

UK, ALL SCANDINAVIA & RUSSIA Every Channel, Check it out, Prices from

ONLY 25€

IPTV (Internet protocol TV) is the way forward and in the future this is how we will all be viewing TV. The viewing options are limitless as new channels can be added to the system to give you a fantastic line up of channels, movie channels, sports channels including live premiership football matches, formula one action, history, music and childrens channels. IPTV in Spain Supplied & Installed By Intervision. Our IPTV system is easy to use, simply connects to your TV and internet router, you then use the remote control. UK Packages from 20€, Scandinavian Packages from 20€ Russian Packages from 20€

InterVision Calle Jaén, Bajo 3b, NERJA Tel: 952 966 166 / Mobile: 667 440 632 email:


Unisex Professional hairdresser

More than 9 years experience in two of the most top hair salons in Nerja and now has her own salon in Torrox Costa!!!

Special offer for March: Bring a friend! 2 for the price of 1, Cut & Blow dry Fluent English, Spanish speaking Easy Parking Mon-Fri 9.30am -2.30pm / 3.30pm - 6.30pm Saturday 10am - 2pm e-mail : Mobile : 610 876 127 C/Centro Internacional - Bq77- No. 2 Torrox Costa (behind furniture store)


The Best Clima Frozen Vegetarian Meals available

Tuesdays Jam special sandwiches All day sessions 8.30pm hamburgers Reserve your table hot dogs Friday & Saturday, Karaoke & Dancing Open 10.30am til late Tel: 693 597 390 C/Salitre, 906, Paseo Maritimo, Torrox Costa (behind Holiday restaurant)

wide range of Cleaning Products Pet Foods

Boca Boca


Cafeteria, Bakery & Cake Shop

Famous Breakfast menus Homemade Granny style Cakes using only Natural Products Speciality - Gooseberry Cake (must try!!) Opening daily from 8am - 6pm (closed Wednesdays) Wedding, Birthday service available Avda. America, Blq 89, Local 24, TORROX COSTA Tel: 608 484 588


MULTIPARQUET & SERVICES since 2002 reforming and decorating for you!

Parquet flooring, underfloor heating, decorating, reforms, IKEA Service: we supply, deliver and assemble

Avda. Europa, Blq 83, Torrox Costa Call: Matthias 652 357 584 Website: www.multiparquet .es For more information and no obligatory quote!

mate In Europe For more information call us on: 952 535 417 :: 686 904 792 616 371 034 Or email us at: Or visit our website at:


Beauty Therapy Complementary Therapy



TORROX "Sinsemilla"

10 % pr di od sc u o ad ctio unt ve n on rt of

Seeds, Fertilisation products, Hydroponic, Lighting, Parafernalia

Avda. del Faro, 18, Torrox Costa Tel: 952 531 371 Email:

Fischhau Fish Deli - Sm wSmoked Fish from our own Smokehouse in Torrox wFresh Fish salads weekly & Cocktails wHerring - Matie - North Sea Crab Shrimps and more

wW N wYo th wW D Avda. America, Blq. 89, TORROX COSTA Tel: 637 041 155


Do y o u h a v e in T o r

This Prime Locati

Call Chris 61

English / Spanish / French /


Torrox The Best Clima


hhaus-Nordsee li - Smokehouse - Bistro

wWeekly Fresh Deliveries from the North Sea Coast ails wYour Eel & Mackerel Smokehouse on the Costa del Sol wWe also smoke Halibut, Salmon, Trout, Dorada, Gilthead, Butterfish & much more STA Monday - Friday 10am - 3pm / 5pm - 7pm Saturday 9.30am - 2pm

a v e a B u s in e s s T o rro x ?

cation can be yours

s 610 876 732

nch / German & Dutch speaking



xmateCosta In Europe


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a t s o C x 38 o r r 0 o 3 TSee pages xC Torro


e! it her bout a l l a cosy beds, toys & activities to keep them - read

If you are thinking if reforming think of Multiparquet & sevices based in Torrox Costa since 2002 reforming and decorating for you! Specialising in Parquet flooring, underfloor heating, decorating, reforms and they provide an IKEA service, they supply, deliver and assemble. Call Matthias 652 357 584. Russells British store always have a great stock of favourite British products. We also have our vegetarian selection back in stock as well as our normal frozen food section. Popular ciders such as Scrumpy Jack as well as Guinness, lager & Crabbies ginger beer. Cleaning products, toiletries, pet food, greeting cards & more. Every month we have special offers in store so please call in to see our March offers. If we haven’t got something you are looking for please ask & we can try and get it. Contact Lewis Insurance services for reputable buildings & contents insurance, car insurance, private medical insurance, pets insurance, funeral plans, cars bought & sold, call Mark on 653 322 392 Raza hotel have excellent facilities for your Dog, Cat or Rabbit, the perfect Hotel for your pets while you are away. In the countryside your dogs can enjoy secure outdoor play areas with toys provided & kennels with indoor sleeping area & outside run. For Cats, large catteries with

occupied. The Raza Hotel also offer a safe place to leave your Rabbit or Parrot as well as providing dog grooming services. Open 10am-7pm, 7 days a week. If you would like to visit, Paco & Antonio would be happy to show you the facilities. For more information call: 952 52 5417, 686 904 792 or 616371034, or email: or visit the

Have you been to Caribe on the Paseo Maritimo, a fantastic location with uninterrupted views of the Mediterranean. Enjoy delicious food with menu del Dia 7.50€ - 2 courses or 9.50€ - 3 courses which includes a drink per person (beer-wine or soft drink. They have a special offer of one of their full range of homemade cakes and a coffee - 3€ and fantastic homemade gateaus and a new 3 chocolate gateau to enjoy, great with a delicious coffee. Fresh fish cooked Andalucían style, pizzas and value meals such as Pinchitos de Cerdo de Pollo only 5.50€ and Alinbias en salsa de tomates only 3.50€. Paella is available from 1.30pm everyday (pre-orders only), includes a soft drink or small beer or glass of wine, bread and Alioli. Takeaway available. Caribe can even cater for weddings and birthday parties with celebratory cakes made to order. Call in or telephone to find out more. sativa grow shop, seeds, fertilisation products, hydroponic, lighting, parafernalia. 10% discount when showing the advert. Call 952 531 371 Avda. del Faro, 18. Torrox Costa.

schlosser Reisen, your Travel Agency in Torrox Costa with more than 30 years experience. We offer flights, hotels, packages, transfers or our scheduled daily excursions with pick up from Torre del Mar to Almuñecar. Granada, Seville, Cordoba, Ronda or Gibraltar are our destinations. Also we can help you find an apartment for long or short stay. Unisex Professional hairdresser with more than 9 years experience in two of the most top named hair salons in Nerja Erica has now opened her own salon in Torrox Costa!!! Erica Villegas. Erica will give you a very warm welcome and is fluent in English and is Spanish speaking. Special Offer for March bring a friend, 2 for the price of 1, cut & blow dry. E-mail: 610 876 127 C/Centro Internacional - Bq77-nr. 2. Jimmy’s Music Bar Serving special sandwiches, hamburgers and hot dogs all day. Also available Spare Ribs and Chicken Skewers. Tuesdays Jam sessions from 8.30pm, reserve your table. Friday & Saturday, Karaoke & dancing. Professional pool table. Find us on facebook: jimmysmusicbar Boca Boca Cafeteria, Bakery and Cake shop Open daily 8am - 6pm (Closed Wed). Famous for their breakfasts and their speciality Gooseberry Cake. Avda. America, Blq 89, local 24. Torrox Costa Fischhaus - Nordsee Fish Deli Weekly fresh deliveries from the North Sea Coast. Smoked fish from our own Smokehouse in Torrox. Open Mon - Fri 10am - 3pm and 5pm - 7pm, Saturday’s 9.30am - 2pm. Tel: 637 041 155 Vinoofertashop your friendly wine merchant Selling the best Riojas from just 2.10€ or Ribera del Duero from4.20€. Also selling imported beer. Bring the advert to

the shop to receive a free wine tasting. Avda. Esperanto, 73 opposite Supersol Call; 952 967 270 Aromas A small tea & coffee house, where you can buy and enjoy the most varied teas and coffees in the world. For the past 5 years, Aromas have been in the tourist town on the coast of the Eastern Sun, Torrox Costa, this unique shop has it all gourmet, quality, products and great prices. They have a selection of Arabica coffee, 100% natural from different backgrounds such as; Kenya, Ethiopia, Costa Rica, Colombia, Brazil, etc. They sell Coffee beans, which can be ground while you wait and in thickness too stating your coffeemaker. They have a huge selection of tea varieties, white, green, blue, red, black, with over 80 different flavours and different classes to choose from, as well as natural teas and flavoured. Without forgetting its selection of Roiibos and fruit infusions. It is also worth remembering that you can also purchase all kinds of gifts and accessories for coffee and tea, coffee makers, kettles, filters, cups, tea etc. Rebeccah Curtis wellbeing Centre The centre is open Tues-Sat 10am until 3pm. Urb. Laguna Beach, Centro Commercial B, No. 16 Torrox Costa, Tel: 952 53 01 22 &  651 956 284 Jacky Davies is a qualified counsellor with 9 years experience in both the public & private sector. Jacky has also worked with CRUSE (UK bereavement agency) 1997-2003 and is also trained in couples counseling. Jacky is also trained in Critical Incident Debrief therapy and was on the team of 2 terrorist incidents (9/11 New York & Bali) & has also worked with people who have witnessed other traumatic deaths e.g. suicides, road traffic incidents etc. to make an appointment call Jacky direct on 657 579 244


Bar y Restaurante

Laguna Beach - Torrox Costa

Breakfasts, Snacks & Full Menu - Specialising in Ribs, Wings, Steaks & Chicken - Traditional Sunday Lunch Saturday 15th March - Alan Miles Saturday 29th March - Charlie Miller

Don’t forget Mother’s Day! Sunday 30th March

10am - 3pm / 6pm - Late / Thurs & Fri Special menus Sunday 1pm - 5pm (After 5pm - Bookings only) Closed Wednesday For more info call: Thomas or Kerstin

952 968 100 / 696 516 534 Free wifi and PC usage

ELEGANZA Hairdresser & Beauty Centre


We have a special offer every day of the week for hair. For example: Monday - Gents haircut 6€ Tuesday - Wash and blowdry with free hydrating hair mask

Free wifi and Sports on 3 screens Thursday Quiz starts 9pm Saturday Karaoke starts 9.30pm

Beauty treatments include: Facials (Hydrating, Lifting or Toning) Pedicures, Manicures, Lasting Gel Polish, Acrylic Nails, Waxing and Massages Eye Lash and Eye Brow Tint

Tapas, Breakfasts, Burgers, Bar Snacks, Daily Specials

3 Course Sunday Lunch - 8€  Served 1pm - 4pm Open daily 10.30am - Late

For more information on prices or to make an appointment call us

Urb. Costa del Oro, Bl.7 Loc. 3, Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 1129 Mobile: 661 650 394

Located behind Tourist Information Office/Library

Torrox Costa Tel: 617 506 550 / 611 232 517

English Dentist:


Dr. Michael Mannish B.D.S. (univ. of London)

Harley St. Cosmetic Dentist of 25 yrs. Take advantage of our free 2nd opinion Competitive prices

Implant Specialist

w w w w

General Medicine Paediatrics Acupuncture Aesthetic anti-ageing Medicine without surgery w Other Specialists w Physiotherapy

Dr. Carlos Castillo GP and Paediatrician (univ. of Málaga)

Dr. Antonio Espitia Corredor Ear Nose and Throat Doctor (Univ. Berlin)

Lda. Mª. Patrocinio Haro López

We Speak English, German & French

Psychology (Univ. Sevilla)

Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08

Please call for more information or send an e-mail:

El Peñoncillo, Torrox Costa Daily - Large selection of Tapas (at least 15 at any one time) - €1 Glass of wine - €0.90 Glass of beer - €1 “TORROX EL PEÑONCILLO CASA DE ROSA” Every other Thursday - Quiz (next one 6th March) Friday evenings - Fish ‘n’ Chip night (Free bottle of wine with every 2 meals) Every Saturday & Sunday 1pm - 2pm - Happy Hour Buy 2 drinks get 1 free (House wine or Caña) Saturday Lunch from 1pm - 3.30pm “Paella” - 5€ portion Saturday nights - Steak night - Buy 1 for €12 Get the second for €6 Traditional Sunday Lunch - 12.30pm - 6pm Only €10.50 - 3 courses To reserve call: 952 96 76 55 Opening hours - 9.30am - Close Kitchen open all day (Closed Mondays)

Deutsche Bäckerei german Bakery

Opening Hours: Monday - Saturday 7.30am - 2pm Sunday Closed

Special offer for March: Buy 5 small white breakfast rolls (60gr), pay for only 4 or buy 4 white rolls get one free Aktuelles angebot 5 bäckerbrötchen nehmen nur 4 bezahlen Pre orders Delivery Service (up to Marbella) Delivery Service for events and functions e is

Tel: 664 641 095

Avda. America, Blq 85, Local 2, TORROX COsTA Email:

EE rpr ow FR su sh t u g ee yo ma w s hen his w t

Clinica Casa Blanca Therapy Centre Torrox Costa since 2008

Osteopathy, Massages, Bowen technique, Lymphatic drainage, Reflexology, Reiki, Shiatsu, Craneo Sacral, Ear-Acupuncture Special Massage Offers!

* Whole body massage 75 min: 1 session = 39€ - 3 sessions = 108€ * Whole body massage 2 hours: 1 session = 59€ - 3 sessions = 167€ * Back, Neck and Shoulders or Legs 45 minutes: 21€

5 sessions = Last one half price - 10 sessions = Last one free (Each session paid separately, discount available only on the last session) *Neck and Shoulders or Feet massage 30 mins *Therapy for pain and illnesses *Osteopathy *Bowen technique *Reflexology approx. 60 mins *Lymphatic drainage *Craneo Sacral Therapy *Reiki/Shiatsu/Metamorphic technique *Ear Acupuncture

15€ 40€ 45€ 40€ 20€ Bianca Bojahr From 20€ Gift Vouchers 45€ available 30€ Forever Living 20€ products Urb. Jardines del Mar / Bloque C3 Tel.: 952 967 628 or 659 374 673 (also home visits) (On the coast road N340 heading towards Nerja, 1 km at the traffic lights at Peñoncillo)

e-mail: /

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

Find The ............? Face - Last month’s answer on page 107

Glass Curtains By Clear-View Home Improvements

Covering The Axarquia and surrounding area since 2003

Repairs to Glass Curtains and all double glazed products OTHER SERVICES  Windows Mosquito Screens Solar Film Pool Surrounds Conservatories Repairs to all glazing products

Offer up to 50% off if ordered in March & installed in April

Call: 645 066 502 Email:


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Tongue Twisters Get your tounge around some of these hilarious tongue twisters Six shiney snails sighed sadly Sheep shouldn’t sleep in sacks Sam saw six shiny silver spoons Slippery slimey snakes slide slowly Pretty Patty Piggy pickles plump pink peppers Stick a sticker where it’s sticky, where a sticker once was stuck Naughty Tongue Twisters: I'm not a smart feller, I'm a smart feller's son And I'll keep felling smarts 'Till the smart feller comes

comes I’m not a pheasant plucker I’m a pheasant plucker’s son, and Ill sit here plucking pheasants til the pheasant plucker comes I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit; and on the slitted sheet I sit

I'm not a fog ducker, I'm a fog ducker's son and I'll keep ducking fogs 'Till the fog ducker comes I am not the fig plucker, I'm a fig plucker's son. And I'll keep plucking figs 'Till the fig plucker


100% Damp Proofing solutions Welcome to MAdeREINA S.L. we are specialists in preventing and repairing damages from mould, moisture and water leakage by deep-impregnation of surfaces like cement, concrete, bricks tiles etc.

Our high-efficient, 100% ecological and non-toxic LIFE LAsTINg products give a permanent protection and it leaves a water repellent surface. For Roofs, Walls, Bathrooms, Swimming Pools, Terraces & Foundations. The most effective product on the market and considerably cheaper Saves up to 35% - 50% on energy bills 10 year guarantee and the treatment lasts a lifetime!

For a Free Quotation Call: 958 069 967 / 677 473 487 Call us also for building work and all kinds of reforms

Or email us on: More info on:

English Dental Technician 30 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs Adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call Graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 633 157 891


“BARGAINS GALORE” 1st Sunday of every month

Restaurant El Pantano  9.30am - 1.30pm 

(On the A356 towards Colmenar, overlooking the lake)

Call: 619 471 301

DENTIsT Dr Bakri

*Dental Cosmetics *Implants Crowns & Bridges Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 55 05 21

Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892

Painter & Decorator *Qualified Tradesman *Over 35 years experience *All aspects of the trade covered *Reasonable Rates *References Supplied

628 653 676

MAN & VAN! Anytime...Anywhere

Locally based, 12 cubic metres

€25 per hour

Warehouse pick ups from Malaga to Nerja every Thursday 20€ per cubic metre

Call Mark: 669 255 968


Van & trailers. Light haulage, removals up to 25m3, car & boat transport. Vinuela based, 25 years experience. Local or anywhere in Europe. Regular Spain-UK-Spain trips. Phone 636 844 209 E-mail: Tlfn: (+34) 669 899 065 Email:

F O R   A L L   Y O U R   B U I L D I N g   R E Q U I R E ME N T s Reforms, Terracing, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Electrical works, Plastering & Damp Proofing. Free no obligation quotes. Very competitive prices. Visit our website for more information and testimonials from previous customers.

Te l : 6 6 5 3 22 13 6 - 9 52 53 9 4 2 3 *Pilates

Colmenar (Classes in Colmenar & Puente don manuel)

low impact aerobics *Circuit training - freeweights *Personal training - one to one or groups

NO HIDDEN COSTS and free delivery/collection to the airport along the coast to Nerja.

Carousel Secondhand Furniture Shop

Contact: Carol 659 295 346 email:



Opening Hours 12pm - 4pm 6.30pm - 12am

Call gilly on: 625 827 193 630 211 907

Mon - Fri 9.30am - 2pm

La Vinuela Pueblo (Down steps at side of Bank)

Dry Storage available


Medical Thermography & Nutrition PREVENTION - EARLY DETECTION - MONITORING

Non Invasive


Radiation Free Pain free

Janet Van Dam Tel: 618 989 125

Clinics at El Morche, Competa, Puente Don Manuel

Avda. Andalucia, 35, Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 551 439 Mob: 673 160 208

MENU DEL DIA 5.90€ 6.90€ EVENINgs

Man & Van 25€ per hour fuel included No job too big or small Call Richard: 699 233 999


Calle granada, 88 NERJA Tel: 952 52 4651



24 hOURs 606 939 929

VETs: Rafael Carrillo de Albornoz López José Ma Ramírez Cuevas C/ Rodriguez Acosta, No10 Tel: 95 252 15 07 Fax: 95 252 71 91 NERJA

656 825 319 24 hOUR EMERgENCIEs Personal Service in Nerja since 1993

C/ Los Huertos 97, Nerja Tel: 952 525 948 or 607 876 198

ChATELIN ORTOPEDIA & ChIROPODIsT/PEDICURA wMaking & repairing Prothesis and Orthesis wCorsets & knee, ankle and wrist supports

wFor all inlays (inc. Sports) wWheelchairs, walking aids & beds wRehabilitaion articles, etc.

Opening hours: Monday - Thursday 10am - 2pm / 3pm - 6pm Calle la Cruz, 60 Nerja Tel: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857 Email:


Plumbing installations & repairs Air Conditioning


Saborito y De Haro Installation Company

Jose Saborito Bruno

C/ Huertos, 52, Nerja

Tel: 95 252 11 39

Advertise your business here for just 20 euros per month No contract required plus receive 3/4 lines of editorial Call: Chris 610 876 732


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Neee rpajgaes 46-50 S


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it he bout a l l a ad


Rafters Rastro – New 2 You Shop. We buy and sell your unwanted household items. We sell a huge variety of goods which are changing every day. Normally we have in stock; a wide range of furniture, lamps, vases, ornaments, general bric a brac, books and good quality second-hand clothes. Contact Alan or Wendy. La llave de oro, C/Granada 88, Nerja, 952 524 651. Locksmith 24 hrs emergency service, 606 939 929, opening and repairing safes, armoured doors, authorised technical service, key cutting, supplier for quality padlocks, safes and other security products. starcar in Nerja for all your car repair needs: bodywork painting, service, pre I.T.V. check, airconditioning, tyres, brakes, clutch etc. Also car transfers. Find them at Avda Alcalde Antonio Villasclaras just up from the BP garage as you are leaving Nerja on the right hand side and they are below the gym. Call Jonathan who speaks English on 637 801 325 Locked yourself out of your house or having lock problems? Call the 24 hour emergency locksmith, a fully qualified UK C&G tradesman. Or, simply call to book an appointment. hypno-Therapeutiques - Run personal development and self-help workshops in Nerja and in the UK. Want help with clearing up painful emotions from the past such as: Anger, Sadness, Hurt, Fear and Guilt? Marion Dias (BSc Clinical Hypnosis) can help you. Marion uses a combination of therapeutic interventions drawn from Hypnosis, NLP, Time Line Therapy™ and energy healing. She also specialises in cancer counselling and helping with overcoming depression Contact: . Clinica Veterinaria Almijara For all your pets veterinary needs, services including in clinic consultations, X rays, Blood tests, Analysis, Teeth cleaning, Surgery and home visits. 24 hour emergency service- 656 825 319. English, Spanish, German, French and Czech speaking. Dog & Cat Grooming. Stockiest for Specific, Royal Canin and other brand names for dog and cat food. Website: Open Monday-Friday 10.00-13.30, 17.30-20.30, Saturday 10.00-13.30.You can call the Clinic on 95 252 1507 for further information. saborito y De haro, C/De Los Huertos, 52, Nerja, 952 521 139. 35 years experience in installations, repairs, maintenance, general reforms, plumbing works, air conditioning, swimming pools, heating, solar energy, gas installations. Call: 609 513 876 or email: Visit Ink and Chips on C/Perez. They have all you need for your PC, such as ink cartridges & peripherals as well as laptop and printer sales. They also offer a technical service 365 days a year. Televideo - Televideo work in the following areas: * Broadband: - Internet wirelessly, without permanent contracts. - Internet service for periods of time - Payment system Pay Pal or our office - Satellite and terrestrial TV * Installation and realignment of satellite dishes * Installation of antennas for Spanish televison (TDT) * Sale of satellite receivers for other nationalities * Television Air (freeviews) or smart cards * Selling televisions from top brands and technologies * Personalised attention * 20 years of experience at your service posts. Susana and Gerardo invite you to visit the office in Nerja open Monday to Saturday from 10:00 to 14:00 or visit our website

Dentadanés Dental Clinic offer top-quality Scandinavian dental care at competitive prices-a successful concept that has been used since the clinic was established in Maro (Nerja) in 1991. We have two Danish dentists (one female, one male) ready to solve all your dental problems. Please visit our website at for a full list of treatments & prices as well as directions to and pictures of the clinic. Open Monday-Friday 10am-5pm including all summer months. We speak English, Danish/Scandinavian, German, Spanish, French & Italian. Tel: 952 52 96 66. Nerja, on the Costa del Sol, is a seaside resort of sandy coves sheltered by the impressive Sierra de Almijara mountains and often referred to as 'The Jewel of the Costa del Sol'. A temperate climate means that Nerja is a great place to visit at any time of year. Nerja is located 53 kilometres east of Málaga on the Costa del Sol and can be reached in about 40 minutes by car from Málaga airport or about an hour and a half by bus. You can get to Nerja by bus, taxi or private/hire car, the choice depending upon such factors as time constraints, budget etc. Hiring a car can, in many cases, work out cheaper than taking a taxi there and back, something to consider. The Balcón de Europa – Balcony of Europe – is situated on a rocky promontory and was formerly a fortress designed to keep out British pirates and privateers. Today it is the focal point of the town, affording magnificent views up and down the coast. Looking left and down you have Calahonda beach and neighbouring coves, followed by Burriana beach and, in the distance, the picturesque village of Maro, site of the impressive Nerja Caves. haveli – Nerja´s premier Indian restaurant. Celebrate a special evening, a birthday party or an anniversary with friends & family. We accommodate large groups. Our extensive menu features many popular dishes as well as our chef´s own creations. Flavours of authentic Indian cuisine combined with warm hospitality makes Haveli the ideal venue for all your memorable occasions. Checkout our special Menu of the Day with multiple options; we offer great food at great price! From November our opening hours are: 7pm - late. We are open on Mondays and closed on Wednesdays. Please call 952524297 or 605110307 to reserve, or Email us at We look forward to seeing you! Olas Bar the biggest and best sports bar in Nerja. They are on Burriana Beach and show 99% of sport, if it’s on TV. They have a great menu from breakfasts to full meals. there is a pool table and free wifi.March Sporting Events - Football the last 1/4 of the season has a full premier league programe throughout the month except the weekend of the 8th/9th when its an FA Cup weekend. 2nd The League (Capitol one) cup Final Manchester City v Sunderland, 5th International friendly night including England v Denmark / Spain v Italy, 8th/9th FA Cup 1/4 final weekend including Arsenal V Everton. Champions League round of 16 second legs inc 11/3 Bayern Munich v Arsenal 12/3 Barcelona V Manchester City, 18/3 Chelski v Galatasaray, 19/3 man utd v Olympiacos 21/3 1/4 final draw. Europa cup 13/3 - 20/3 including Spurs & Swansea. 15/3 8pm k.o Malaga v Real Madrid tickets available coach from Olas return 10€. 16/3 Aberdeen v Inverness Ct Scotish League Cup Final RUGBY Union 6 nations Round 4 8/3 Ireland v Italy Scotland V France 9/3 England V Wales 15/3 Round 5 The Final Round Italy v England Wales V Scotland France V Ireland, Horse Racing March brings horse racing from all around topped off with Cheltenham festival 11th-14th forward planning April 5th Grand National. Golfs biggest event although there are many 6th - 9th WGC - Cadillac Championship, Doral Golf Resort & Spa, Doral, Florida, United States of America. Cricket 2/3 ODI 2ND DAY WEST INDIES V ENGLAND 5/3 ODI 3rd DAY west indies v England 9/3 20/20 1st test England v West Indies, 11/3 2nd test,13/3 3rd test. OLAS 9th charity race night Sunday 8pm, first race always good fun 1€ min bet, 8 races hosted by coastline radio Dan the Man Sherry. 30th March Mothers Day Roast Dinner includes a free sweet of your choice from the menu. Finally we have worked very hard on the TV channel situation and amazingly we have now more channels than before the merry go round started. Chatelin Ortopedia & Chiropodist/Pedicura Practice We are a Company with over 30 years experience in the orthopedic Sector. Linda is a qualified Chiropodist and Henry is a certified prothesis and orthesis maker. For all your inlays and sport inlays, making and repairing prothesis and orthesis, corset-knee, ankle and wrist supports, wheelchairs, walking aids, beds, rehabilitation articles etc...Open Monday - Thursday 10am - 2pm and 3pm - 6pm. Call: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857

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Cats & Dogs Some self-evident truths about pets...

I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am

Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful

Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia

People that hate cats will come back as dogs in their next life

Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner Dog's have owners. Cat's have staff I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?

We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does

Women and cats will do as they please... men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

Cafe - Bar “Serving a selection of new dishes and of course, Fresh Fish! Attractive prices” 

Fresh Fish & Chips available  everyday just 8€ Cars, offices, patio doors, glass curtains and we can put the tint film into a roll down or vertical blind for occasional use. In fact: If it’s glass we’ll tint it! For more information contact: 958 496 571 / 644 546 176

Special Offer! Delicious Lobster  500gr. - only 18€ C/Marquita 3, Paseo Puerta del Mar, Almuñecar Tel: 958 630 245 / 629 882 696 You can find us near the old Post Office,  in front of the entrance to the  underground car park. Closed Wednesdays 


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News...News...News!!! Classic News Clips Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her knickers. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (Reuters via The Manchester Evenings News) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a special branch vehicle, and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian) After being charged £20 for a £10 overdraft, 30 year old Michael Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed poll to Yorkshire Bank PLC Are Fascist Bastards. The bank has now asked him to close his account, and Mr. Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p balance, by cheque, made out in his new name. (The Guardian) Would the congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the church labelled 'for the

sick' is for monetary donations only. (Churchtown Parish Magazine) There must, for instance, be something very strange in a man who, if left a lone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn't try it on. (Glasgow Evening News) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "this sort of thing is all too common". (The Times) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West gas said "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that blew his house to pieces." (Bangkok Post)

R FUEAL N! New powerful 500cc 4x4 Buggies on the Costa del Sol. Discover the magnificent inland Andalucia in a spectacular way! w w w w have We now for g n seati 20 more

Tapas 1.30€

Tuesday, Wednesday & Friday 10am - 2pm / 7pm - ? Thursday 9am - 2pm / Monday closed Saturday & Sunday 7pm - ? Showing live Bundesliga German Breakfasts Avda. Duque de Ahumada 21, TORRE DEL MAR

Tel.: 692 814 131

Half day tour 31/2 hours The ideal gift or just an adrenaline boost Ideal for stags, hens or birthdays, etc. Drivers from 21 years with licence

You will experience the ultimate adventure, crossing rivers in a ”breathtaking” manner and being guided to places you have never been. Come and have a try!!

Call: 653 635 180 Email:

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Customer Review We would like to make known our experience of an excellent construction company that we have used recently. Written by Gavin and Susan Ellis – La Vinuela “In these times of poor service, economic strife and ‘getting ripped-off’, I feel the need to spread some good news based on personal experience of a local construction company – L T Construction. There are reliable, competent, helpful, friendly and reasonably priced people out there such as this one and I fully endorse his services. Having moved permanently to the mountains above Lake Vinuela 3 years ago, we had a list of things that we wanted to do and some that HAD to be done and having heard of a series of horror stories about builders etc, did not know who to call when we had a nasty problem with the septic tank and subsequently had an expensive and bad experience with a ‘so called’ expert! A monthly article in The Sentinella caught our

eye and a quick visit to his web-site seemed to justify giving Lee Talbot a call. Amazingly, the call was taken, he visited the same day – YES THE SAME DAY – diagnosed the problem and gave us a quote on the spot which was very competitive. Having agreed the price, he arrived with his men the next morning – YES THE NEXT MORNING – and by lunchtime the whole job of relaying a section of drain, reconfiguring the pipework to the tank, running a vent pipe and pressure jetting was complete and he then asked for payment less than the quote – YES LESS THAN THE QUOTE ! Obviously we were delighted. We are currently enjoying another experience of Lees’ excellent service, visiting the same day as the call and carrying out the work over the next two days. We cannot recommend LT Construction too highly, check out the web-site and have a chat with Lee, he will not let you down!” See his advert below


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Funny Stories Pregnant Turkey

A well-planned retirement

One year at Easter, my mum and I went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, I decided to play a trick. I told my sister that we needed some wine from the shop and she and mum should go. When my sister left, I took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed one of those tiny chickens (poussin) into it and restuffed the turkey. I then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, You've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! Yep, you got it....SHE'S BLONDE!

Outside Bristol Zoo, there is a car park for 150 cars and 8 coaches or buses. It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars £1 and coaches £5. This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25 years. Then, one day, he just didn't turn up for work. "Oh well", said Bristol Zoo Management, "We'd better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant..." "Er... no", said the Council, "That car park is your responsibility." "Er... no", said Bristol Zoo management, "The attendant was employed by the City Council, wasn't he?" "Er... NO!" insisted the Council. Sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain, is a bloke who had been taking the car park fees, estimated at £400 pounds per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over £3.6 million. And no one even knows his name.

CAMPO AND COsTA BUILDINg sERVICEs All aspects of building work undertaken No job too small From a dripping tap to total reforms, extensions etc Fully qualified tradesmen provide a fast, reliable and helpful service Full references are available

For your free no obligation quotation Call: 622 938 440 SPRING TIME OFFER! Villas/houses exteriors repainted from 500€ Metal work repainted from 300€

Specialists in fabrication & erection

Comprehensive service design supply fabrication and erection. Our skilled team have a vast array of experience ideally suited to manufacture, deliver and erect your steelwork and metalwork needs. From a simple beam to a complete steel frame building, lean to’s, garage roof, gates, railings and rejas. Here at Phoenix we can also offer a further array of services such as painting tiling gardening & even pool maintenance. We also construct concrete padstones and bases.

Based in Velez Malaga Ask for Mark

Mobile 671 945 160 or 952 54 9638

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Normal? Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby... Somebody


know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is history.



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That’s Some Distance! This beautiful 1966 Volvo 1800S and its owner Irv Gordon are the current holders of the Guinness World Record for highest (non-commercial) mileage ever recorded.

He has been driving the car for more than 45 years and as of summer 2011 the car has reached a colossal 2.9 million miles (4.6 million km) . Just do your mainte-

115 Issues 115 Months

Call: 664 210 468

nance and you'll be fine they said... they were right! Despite Gordon's home in New York, the Volvo and him has traveled many km in Canada, Mexico and even Europe when he went to visit the Swedish headquarters of Volvo.

Gordon plans to reach the 3 million mile (4.8 million km) mark by the time he turns 73. That feat will require him to drive an average of around 5,500 miles per month.

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Klimacentro - Save Money! Maintenance of our air conditioning units A gesture that will save us a lot of money Most cooling units are also capable of heating our home but also have much lower consumption than any other electrically-powered system and are 4-5 times more efficient.

how does it guarantee the absence of fungi and bacteria? As the air passes through the unit it leaves particles and organisms that can reproduce and form colonies. This can have a harmful effect on our health, so it is important to breathe clean air!

Nothing produces more power and consumes less than a modern Inverter system You should have your systems checked periodically to maintain efficiency and extend the life of your unit. why do I need a maintenance check now? Because your unit will use less energy! An air conditioning unit is a heat exchanger, ie. it takes in hot air and gives out cold in summer, and produces the opposite effect in winter. Its efficiency depends on how clean the units are; a dirty one will not stop working but it will use a lot more electricity.

why we remove odours Equipment treated with specific products guarantees the absence of odours caused by micro-organisms. This also makes our environment healthier. In summary Maintenance will allow us to locate problems undetectable to the user, such as operating without the proper refrigerant, which will result in increased consumption and the possibility of damage to the compressor. Equipment properly installed and working under normal conditions will need maintenance at least every two years. GOOD MAINTENANCE EQUALS QUALITY FOR OUR HEALTH AND SAVINGS FOR OUR POCKET. See main advert on page 118


FOR EVERYTHING TELEVISION Providing Solutions to the ever changing Television Services by Satellite and Terrestrial TV Why not visit one of our weekly Saturday Demonstrations and see how we can provide a solution for you (not IPTV) We also repair Flat screen Televisions.

Call 657 484 853

Please call before 10am for same day service




The Parcel Force to be reckoned with

Sending or Collecting items from UK or Europe Opening hours: Monday - saturday 9am - 7.30pm / sunday 10am - 4pm Arkwrights Puente don Manuel supermarket

T d




Where you are Number ONE Not one of a number Puente don Manuel

NEW FOR 2014 We have introduced a Christmas Club, (as suggested to us by one of our customers). You can put in as little or as much as you like whenever you like and when Christmas comes we will add 20% to what you have saved, which can then be spent on anything at all in the shop. If you R desire you can order things beforehand and therefore N, not be disappointed. The Christmas club will run throughout the year, you decide when and how much you save. We have a close off period for starting, which will be end of July. H Our loyalty cards will still continue.


Don’t forget if you require anything not available in store just ask, as we are 99% successful in obtaining the unobtainable in Spain. If we do not know you want it, we cannot stock it!! IMPORTANT NOTICE:OUR HOURS OF TRADING ARE NOW 9am until 7.30pm MONDAY to SATURDAY and 10am to 4pm SUNDAYS

952 519 780 659 375 603

we accept all major credit cards Find us on the web: Email:


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le e s U

ts c a ss F

use are ! y e h g ys t azin alwa ut am s b A


About two hundred babies are born worldwide every minute. (OMG that’s 288,000 babies born every day!)  The average human scalp has 100,000 hairs. August is the month when most babies are born. According to one U.S. study, about 25 percent of all adolescent and adult males never use deodorant.

Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women. It is legal for the dead to vote if they die after they mail out their absentee ballot.

Two-thirds of men wear briefs, 22 percent wear boxers, and six percent don't wear underwear.

23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts. It is estimated that millions of trees in the world are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them. Porcupines float in water.

blowing sand.

Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.


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Male Or female? Here are some reasons why it’s better to be female...

We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty old perverts.

We got off the Titanic first.

Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. We never ejaculate prematurely.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers......

We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.

Men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it’s pathetic. We don’t have to get our strength up between sessions...and it’s much easier for us to get "some" in the first place.

wEsTON kENNELs  & CATTERY Fully Licensed kennels Competa Home from Home for your dogs and cats

Taxis stop for us. We’ve never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

T H E  D O G   H O U S E While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. *Large Enclosed Play Area *Lots of Country Walks *Pet Collection / Delivery Service *Vet Services - On Call *Gourmet Meals

‘ONLy Over 20 years experience Collection service Long or short stays Email:

951 254 134 660 167 902 693 545 989


Ring: Phil (mob) 649 079 321 Email: Comares / Benamargosa Ex - cat & dog Recommended

Refs Available

Friday Market

(Established for over 10 years) Chiringuito Antonio, Puente don Manuel Great market, Great atmosphere, Great prices!!! 9.30am - 1pm

Not just a Market! *Chiringuito Antonio *Taj Mahal Indian Restaurant (3 course special menu 9.50€) *The Little Farm Shop *Bird Park

Chiringuito Antonio Open 7 Days a week Specialities – Paella and Piri Piri Chicken First Friday of every month – live music and 12€ menu. Wednesday - Italian Night Saturday Lunchtime - Moroccan specialities. Every morning – Coffee and bacon roll 2€. Show this page to claim your free bottle of wine with every Paella that you order!

Something for everyone, so come down for a great morning! New Stallholders always welcome New & Secondhand Only 1€ a pitch! Call Antonio: 695 635 242 


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Horse Rescue - Be A Sponsor Be an Angel for a horse We need hay and straw to feed rescued horses. We need to provide veterinary attention for all the animals suffering outside our shelter. We are the biggest rescue centre in Spain, we collaborate with law enforcement authorities, we've been awarded with the "Golden V" given by the Official Veterinary School of Malaga and we help more than 200 animals every year. You don't need to have wings to become an angel. Sponsor a horse. We welcome and are very grateful for any contribution and donation. Collaborate with what makes you happy. Join a shared and clear project. Please, phone or write and we’ll tell you how you can help. Non-profit Association and Rescue Center CYD Santa Maria. Interior Ministry Number 594.832. Phone number 658 900 600 / 610 397 027 E-mail:

sAXon s.l JcB Digger Hire velez-Malaga Area services



662 39 83 72 678 23 22 53

Potatoes!!!!! A caring husband sees that his wife is busy in the kitchen and offers to help. “My dear, what can I do to help you?” She says: “Take this bag of potatoes, peel half of them, and put them in the big pot with water.”


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A Young Reader!

What Does Daddy Work As?

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a Sentinella Magazine but about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.

The teacher asked her class to write down on a piece of paper the type of work their Daddy’s did. The children, very excitedly, scribbled their answers. One by one, the teacher asked each child to stand and describe the job. There was much laughter and screaming, that is apart from little Tommy. “Tommy, why do you look so sad?” asked the teacher. Tommy slowly rose to his feet, and replied: “My Dad’s a stripper in a gay bar.” The other children remained silent, as Tommy continued. “Sometimes, he doesn’t come home, and my Mummy sits crying. Sometimes, he sells his body for other men’s pleasure.” There were gasps around the classroom. The teacher acted quickly and dismissed the children, telling them to go out and play. She then walked up to little Tommy, put her arm around his shoulders, and asked: “Is all that true, Tommy?”

His mother says: "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while". Billy says: "Im fine, Mummy... I just haven't done it yet." M o t h e r says: "Ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?" Billy says: “It works on the Tomato Sauce bottle!”

“No, not at all Miss. He really plays cricket for England, but I was too embarrassed to say.”

Bistro Bar

Freshly prepared breakfasts snacks, light lunches and evening meals Daily Menu del dia for just 9.50€ (3 courses)

“Just the Best” Sunday Roast from 1pm WHAT’S ON dON’T fOrgeT mOTHer’S dAy SuNdAy 30TH mArcH SpeciAl 3 cOurSe meAl

BOOk NOW ON 952 519 733 Sky Sports Friends Bar Bistro

Open daily 10am to late

Internet Wi-fi

Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel

Friends Bar Bistro

Tel: 952 519 733


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Blondes & Frozen Crabs

Grandma’s Natural Remedies

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans, with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

Yes, our grandmothers had their own natural remedies. Here one grandma passes on her knowledge to her grandchild from her own personal experiences:

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

"To improve my digestion I drink beer, for loss of appetite I drink white wine, for low blood pressure I drink red wine, and if I have a cold I drink whisky." "And when do you drink water?" "I never had such a serious illness!"

Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up.... so she took them home and ate them and they were simply delicious. Two lessons here: 1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are. 2. Blondes aren't as dumb as some people might think.

“The hire company for the little ones”

We welcome you to inspect, select & collect from our SHOWROOM at LAKE VIñUELA In order to give clients individual attention please phone for an appointment before visiting. We are situated at KM29 (on right) off A356 1km past Camping & Pantano Restaurant. We are signposted from there. From bouncy chairs to buggies, stairgates to sterilisers. Everything you need for when little ones come to visit. PHONE DAWN ON: 627 931 360 WEBSITE: EMAIL:


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Faceless Mummy! What are you and Daddy doing?

You are wasting your time!

Why’s that?

You know Daddy has a big tummy. Well sometimes Mummy has to sit on it to flatten it!

Because when you go shopping, the lady next door gets on her knees and blows it back up again!

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Axarquia Pools Incorporating Leak-Tec Axarquia Pools has been operating in the Axarquia and Costa del Sol areas for 10 years, and has built up a large client base of regular customers and new clients. This is through "word of mouth" referrals following the company’s commitment to providing a first class service and work of the highest quality. The fully-trained staff have collectively amassed 60 years experience in the construction industry.

dertake repair works to the fabric of your swimming pool, and full refurbishments. These include changing the pool surrounds, removing the glass tiling within the pool and applying new tiles, constructing pool steps, repairing defective glass tiling and much more. “For the construction of new swimming pools we employ the services of three architectural practices that will design and fabricate the working drawings of your new pool, and will obtain the relevant building and planning consents.” For a more extensive view of the services Axarquia Pools provides, visit the website at www.axarquia

Axarquia Pools specialises in the design, construction, refurbishment and repair of domestic swimming pools. “Because of demand for certain services we provide, we set up a company Main advert is below and examples of specialising in swimming pool leak detection recently-completed works. and repair,” said a spokesman. “This new division of Axarquia Pools is called LEAK-TEC.” More details of the services the company provides through leak-tec can be found on the website, along with information about the works actually undertaken. “We do everything connected with the con- pool before refurbishment struction, repair and refurbishment of swimming pools,” added the spokesman. “This pool refurbished with new step includes the repair of skimmers, pumps, design, "In pool sun bed area" pipework and everything associated with the and non-slip tiled pool edge operation of your swimming pool. We also undetail


Are you looking for a pool contractor who can Repair, Refurb or Construct a Swimming Pool? Look no further, because at Axarquia Pools we do it all w Re-tiling / acid cleaning and w Construction of re-grouting swimming pools / wet w External electrical lighting, areas and external pool lighting, electrical pump showers refurbishment and renewal w Leak detection and repair w Access ladders and step w Salt systems w Pool covers / safety nets construction w Pool automation A leak equal to 2mm in diameter in your swimming pool will lose 1,500 litres of water in a day. If you are adding 5 - 7cms of water to your pool a week, you have a leak.

With our high-tec equipment, we can detect leaks in Swimming Pools, Depositos, Spa Baths and mains water feeds. If you think you may a have a leak, call us today on 666 659 876 or email:

For more detailed information, please visit our comprehensive website at: or email us at: or phone Calvin on: 666 659 876 Fully registered company, established 2003 Part of the Active Construction group of companies


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92 Year Old Pirate 92 year old Hollywood pirate hero to soldiers Hyman Strachman is a WW2 veteran that spends most of his time pirating movies. He started doing this as a hobby shortly after his wife passed away to keep himself occupied. Since 2004 Hy has copied an estimated 300,000 movies and sent every single one to soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan – out of his own pocket. Hyman spent approximately $30,000 on his hobby so far since he began in 2004. The cost of purchasing pirated copies of movies, blank CD's and expensive overseas postage really adds up!

Every box he sends out has 84 discs that usually go out to a platoon in Iraq or Afghanistan. Hyman acknowledges his violations of domestic copyright laws, but he also pointed to his walls – which are full of huge American flags and dozens of appreciative letters and photos of soldiers holding up their favorite DVD's. When Mr. Strachman first started out he copied CD's on his personal desktop which was a very tedious one-by-one process. He got his hands on a $400 professional duplicator to speed up his process. Hy has never accepted any type of payment for the work that he has done. All he gets in return is letters and emails from soldiers thanking him for the work that he has done for them.


Traditional Fish & Chips take away (or eat on the terrace)

All your traditional favourites including Kebabs Cooked freshly to order All meals come with either Mushy Peas, Coleslaw, Gravy or Curry Sauce Special Offer: Get a FREE bottle of wine, Coke or Fanta with orders over 25€ SHADED TERRACE The Town Frier Opening times: Tuesdays, Fridays & Saturdays 12noon - 9pm Wednesdays & Thursdays 5.30pm - 9pm

Telephone orders welcome Local Delivery available

Tel: 608 531 601 Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin

Inmobiliaria BENAJARAFE

Ref: 2924

Beautiful ground floor apartment with fantastic sea views. Very nice and big terrace in the garden with access to communal pool. Tranquil area. With garage and small exterior kitchen


Ref: 2463

Chalet with sep. studio with nice views. 130m² on plot of about 500m². 2 beds, 1 bath, lounge with chimney, kitchen, covered spa, garden, garage, store-room, a/c, several terraces, (studio: 1 bath and 1 bedroom), 400m from the beach



Ref: 2923

Chalet on three levels of approx. 270 m2 on plot of 588m2 with fantastic views in quiet urbanisation. 3 beds, 3 baths, big lounge. With sep. apartment of 1 bed. Renovated about 3 years ago incl. underfloor heating to the upper house. Pool and parking space



Ref: 2924

Long or short term rental Beautiful apartments with 1 bedroom, lounge with incorporated kitchen, complete bathroom, balcony, tranquil area, garage upon request. Price long term rent

350€ per month

Urb. La Sirena 113, 29790, Benajarafe Tel: Iris Werner 952 51 51 42 Mobile 629 888 170 More properties on

FULL INsTALLATIONs 1.3mtr Dish - Sky+ HD Box (contract with BSKYB required) Receive all Sky channels & the option to have ON DEMAND with ‘Catch Up TV’ including BBC i Player, ITV, 4OD, Demand 5 & more


AsTRA 2. TV “wORRIED ABOUT LOsINg BBC & ITV?” IPTV is the answer. No dish required Just an Internet connection (1.5MB minimum) 19 Top UK channels 7 day Catch Up TV This is the NEXT GENERATION of TV All this for just 17.99€ per month + installation Please call for more details

1.3mtr DIsh FIT ONLY 280€ Realignments & Relocations from 40€ New Sky+ HD Boxes 260€ Humax Freesat Recordable HD Boxes If we lose all the BBC & ITV channels these are the Digi Boxes for ON DEMAND TV

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Apartment For Rent A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for £500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment 'Rent for apartment.' On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realising that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for £250 and enclose the following typed note: 'Dear Madam: Enclosed find a cheque for £250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that: 1 - it had never been occupied; 2 - there was plenty of heat; and

3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home. However, I found out that: 1 - it had been previously occupied, 2 - there wasn't any heat, and 3 - it was entirely too large.' Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for £250 with the following note: 'Dear sir: 1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. 2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. 3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management. So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady.

we offer garden design and general maintenance including:

Automatic Irrigation Systems, Drainage, Pest Control Garden and Pool Maintenance Pergolas, Printed Concrete


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Helping Axarquia Reporting assets outside Spain. Form 720

20.000€ or more.

Form 720: Declaration of Assets Abroad. This form must be filled in by all Spanish residents owning assets abroad over 50.000€. This obligation must be fulfilled during the first quarter of each year, therefore the deadline is 30th March

Non-fulfilment of this obligation carries the following penalties: Not submitting the form. Penalty: monetary fine of €5,000 for each item of information not included, with a minimum fine of €10,000. Submitting a form that is incomplete, inaccurate or with false information. Penalty: monetary fine of €5,000 for each item of information not included, inaccurate or false, with a minimum fine of €10,000. Submitting the form outside the legally-required period, but before the request of the Spanish tax authorities to submit it. Penalty: monetary fine of €100 for each item of information in each category, with a minimum fine of €1,500.

In the model, there are three categories which must be declared: 1.-All types of accounts held with financial entities. 2.-Properties. 3.-Other Values (Shares, stocks, bonds, deposits, life insurance, disability insurance) These assets must only be declared if the total assets held outside Spain are worth more than 50.000 € in each category. At present, this declaration must only be made once. However, you will need to report the assets again if their value has increased by

The information provided in this article is not intended to be legal advice, but merely conveys general information related to legal issues. See main advert below


Every Tuesday 9.30am - 1.30pm

Come and enjoy a cool relaxing morning at Los Jardines del Trapiche, THE nicest market venue on the Costa. EASY PARKING Outside courtyard and air conditioned function room full of fabulous stalls offering something for everyone. Browse at your leisure and enjoy a coffee in the beautiful shadey gardens Take the A-272 turning onto the Velez-Malaga road A-356. Turn off at El Cruce restaurant towards Benamargosa. Over the roundabout and we are on the left just before the private airfield

Call Anita on: 627 877 164


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& t i u Fr Facts Veg ocado Av

The humble avocado, which grows so well here in Spain, has a host of hidden health benefits Half an avocado contains 114 calories and 4.5g fibre It is a source of vitamin E and folate Avocado is a great source of monounsaturated oleic acid that research has shown to both reduce dangerous low-density lipoprotein cholesterol at the same time as increasing the more beneficial high-density lipoprotein cholesterol Avocados also contain a rich variety of heart nutrients including vitamin E for preventing cholesterol oxidization; folate for reducing dangerous homocystenine levels in the blood; potassium for regulating blood pressure; phytosterols for reducing cholesterol absorption; and dietary fibre to control blood sugar levels. For a heart-healthy boost, replace butter with avocado on your favourite sandwich. Equally delicious avocado oil is an even richer source of oleic acid, vitamin E and phytosterols and, along with healthy coconut oil, is a brilliant heat-stable cooking oil The monounsaturated fats in avocado are also beneficial for improving your skin tone. They are vital for maintaining good moisture levels in the epidermal layer of your skin that make it look and feel soft and healthy The omega-9 fats they contain can additionally help reduce skin redness and irritation and are involved in repairing damaged skin cells. Avocado benefits also include protecting your skin from wrinkles and other visible signs of ageing with its antioxidant carotenoids; vitamin E which helps guard against photo-ageing from sun exposure and vitamin C which is involved in the creation of elastin and collagen for maintaining your skin’s elasticity and firmness.

For those living with diabetes, the oleic acid in avocado is especially recommended for its ability to lower ‘bad’ LDL cholesterol while raising the ‘good’ HDL cholesterol. Keeping cholesterol levels in check is vital for diabetics as they have a much higher risk of cardiovascular disease. Having more monounsaturated fats in a diabetic diet is also beneficial for reducing high triglyceride levels and may help improve insulin function and blood glucose levels. Other health benefits of avocado that can help with the condition include vitamin C for strengthening blood vessels and capillaries, improving immune function and reducing the high premedical exposure experienced by diabetics. The anti-inflammatory avocado is one of the few foods consistently reported to reduce arthritic pain. And finally......did you know? Babies love avocados. Their soft, creamy texture makes them easy to eat, and their high fat content helps with normal infant growth and development.

Call: 664 210 468

Update Following on last month’s picture of this lovely lady below, the feedback and interest has been immense!! The Sentinella readers have contacted us puzzled to know who she is and that they are sure they know her. Well The Sentinella journalists got straight on the case and we are pleased to tell you that we know who she or he is!!!!

Pure spanish Enjoyment

El Pozo Taberna Tipica Great Food Great wines sIVE EXCLU l del so Costa e h t o e t rero d “somb ” menca La Fla

He is in fact Steve from Carrots Bar. He has told us, in a very secret interview that he likes to be called Stephanie at the weekends!! Don’t worry Steve, your secret is safe with us!

ARTIFICIAL gRAss Energy saving & LED lamps to suit every occasion

Do you want a perfect green lawn? Ever thought about Artificial Grass? It is the perfect solution; green, lean and clean! Almost all surfaces are suitable. Enjoy your garden all year round. For more info or a free quotation call:

619 317 211


Or see me at the Trapiche Market every Tuesday

El Pozo

Taberna Típica Paseo Maritimo, 27 Torre del Mar Tel: 951 283 082 Closed Tuesdays


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Vélez-Málaga is the capital of the Axarquía and is on the scenic route of sun and avocado. It is situated just 1 kilometre inland from the coast at Torre del Mar. After the Moors conquest of Spain they founded Vélez-Málaga, naming it Ballix-Malaca (fortress of Malaga) It was one of the main cities of the Nasrid Kingdom of Granada during the 13th to 14th century. As early as the 10th century 75% of the towns folk were Muslims, the rest were Christians. Ferdinand and Isabella on attempting to defeat Moorish rule decided to capture Velez-Malaga so they could use the route through to Granada via Zafarraya, they also needed to be able to use the port at Mariyya Ballix (Torre del Mar) to bring in supplies. After their defeat of the town the Moors didn´t leave immediately as the monarchy wanted to continue the production and export of among other things the sweet Malaga wine, but they were eventually expelled in 1584. During the 15th and 17th centuries the Catholics decided to get rid of the Islamic heritage that remained in the town and started to destroy many of the old Moorish houses, building instead huge Churches, Monasteries and Convents, to such an extent that the town soon became known as Cuidad Conventual (Convent City). Santa Maria was one of the first to be built and today it remains an interesting site with its Muslim Minaret. Also the Convent of San Francisco which was


built in 1488 can be found in the Plaza de San Francisco next to the indoor market. The construction was funded by the Catholic Kings. The main square in the centre of town is the Plaza de las Carmelitas where you can find the town hall on one side and the Convent of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, also known as the Convent of Carmelitas on the other. However, the real land mark of Velez has to be La Fortaleza, built on a hill top in the 13th century. It was an important fort in the 13th and 15th centuries for the Nazari Kingdom. It was used as a general headquarters in 1487 when the Catholic Monarchs conquered the city. The Axarquía even has its own currency, the Axarcos, which came into effect in 1988 when Antonio Gámez Burgos, a Biochemic and teacher, native of Vélez-Málaga (1934-2007) whose passion was history, discovered under a tree in his finca an old box containing, among other historical treasures, a number of strange coins. After multiple consultations with experts, he concluded that the coins were an old currency used by the ancient moriscos during a rebellion against the christian conquerors, back in the 16th century. He decided to recuperate this piece of Andalusian history and created the Axarcos coin, still used in many bars and restaurants today, notably La Peña just behind the town hall. The official fiestas of the town are held on August 26th and September 27th. The feria is held mid July and the Romeria mid May. Do take time out to visit Vélez-Málaga, you won´t be disappointed!

Property Of The Month Vélez-Málaga

Historic town house in the centre of Velez-Malaga, the capital of the Axarquia. This charming 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house has the advantage of a large hallway with double doors to a 23m2 studio with original fresco ceiling. Absolutely perfect for use as an artists gallery, shop or office with living accommodation above! Double doors lead to staircase with original ballustrade. Main bedroom with fitted wardrobes and corridor storage leading to bathroom with high ceiling, balcony and separate shower. There is a separate staircase to bedrooms 2 (single) and 3 (double) and guest shower room. Stairs lead up again to the fabulous loft area with high vaulted wooden beamed ceilings and arches making this open plan living space truly delightful. There is a kitchen, dining room and lounge area with wood burning stove and french windows to lovely, bright roof terrace with views of the mountains. On this terrace is a glass covered utillity area for drying clothes. Although this property is in the heart of the town this roof top space is so quiet you could be in the countryside! The property has a telephone with internet connection.


PROPERTY sPECIALIsTs sINCE 2001 IF YOU hAVE PROPERTY TO sELL CALL sALLY ON 626 038 851 or 952 436 781 Email:

sally harrison Owner / Agent

AS2667 390,000€ Viñuela 240m2 3 bed, 3 bath villa with pool, garage, mountain and lake views

AS2120 160,000€ Benamocarra 200m2 3 bed, 2 bath terraced house with garage, roof terrace, jacuzzi

AS2885 179,000€ Los Romanes 200m2 4 bed, 2 bath terraced house, garage, jacuzzi, mountain views

AS2884 115,000€ Colmenar 110m2 3 bed house in heart of the village with terrace and jacuzzi

AS2890 340,000€ Benajarafe 270m2 4 bed, 3 bath villa with one bed staff apartment and sea views

AS2665 70,000€ Colmenar 102m2 3 bed semi-detached country house with garden, mountain views


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cs i P ny Mr


say wn o r B

.. s...

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Joke Book

The Light Column

Out now! Yours truely has put together a joke book containing 84 pages of solid jokes & funnies. No pictures, no spaces, just pure unadulterated laughter.

Priced at just a fiver and 1€ from every book to APARIV charity, it’s a must buy to keep by the loo! A great Xmas stocking filler too! Available at the Trapiche Market on Tuesdays or The Friday market in Puente don Manuel. Alternatively, email: or call Tony: 664 689 138

sh op



All with 12 months guarantee We deliver and install in all areas Call us to check out our prices Monday - Friday 10am - 6pm Saturday 10 am - 2pm

952 541 147


This excerpt from The Light: A Book of Wisdom has been taken from the chapter Manifesting Miracles, by Dr Sue Morter We tend to hold miracles as something spectacular, outside of our realm of probability or as separate from ourselves. But in order to allow miracles to occur more regularly in our personal reality we must change the way we see them. Most of us believe miracles supersede the realm of probabilities and by holding this belief we are unable to welcome them into our environment as readily as we could. My invitation to the readers is to see everything as sacred and possible. To do that with integrity we must first learn to hold our consciousness differently than the way we are familiar with. In order to allow something sacred or miraculous to happen more regularly in our lives, we must allow it to be a readily accepted perspective that we can anticipate and as a new way of being. The first premise is to remember that everything in all of creation is energy and that energy is vibrating at different frequencies, ultimately determining the physical realities that we experience. If we experience something as a physical object it is energy vibrating at a particular frequency and if we experience something as an emotion, the energy is vibrating at a different frequency. Think of it as different radio stations that we dial into. When we think thoughts we are honing energies into a particular frequency pattern. When these thoughts are recreated day after day they produce a consistent pattern of energy within which we perceive an entire world; one that either works well or seems full of despair and pain.


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$$$ Share’oscope $$$

Recipe Of The Month

Here is Mr. Share with some more share advice!

Raspberry Lime and Coconut Meringue Slice

This month he has plumped for 2380 Quindell PLC @ 42p

A lovely dessert to serve when entertaining, the meringue can be made in advance and assembled just before serving.

Quindell is a holding company engaged in selling software and consulting services. Last month's share bought Tungsten Corp @ 308p now 295p

$$$ PLEASE NOTE The investments we make are fictitious. Profits are not guaranteed, so please only invest what you can afford to lose!

serves 8 5 egg whites 300g/10 oz caster sugar 2 tsp cornflour 2 tsp white wine vinegar 75g/3oz desiccated coconut Little flaked coconut 300ml double cream 50g/2oz icing sugar Zest and juice 2 limes 225g/8oz raspberries, defrosted if frozen Method: Line 2/3 baking trays with non-stick parchment, mark 3 rectangles 12cm x 12cm (10 inches x 5 inches). Heat the oven to Gas 1/120C fan oven. Whisk the egg whites until stiff, gradually whisk in the sugar until very stiff. Now whisk in the cornflour and vinegar. Fold in the desiccated coconut and spread the mixture into 3 even rectangles. Scatter the flaked coconut over one of the rectangles. Bake for 1 hour then turn off the oven and leave in there with the door closed for another hour. Leave to cool. Whisk the cream, icing sugar, lime zest and juice until a thick consistency. Spread half over one meringue base and scatter with half the raspberries, sit the second meringue base on top, spread with remaining cream and raspberries. Top with the coconut covered meringue and serve.



Be safe, have your chimney inspected and cleaned before you use your fire this winter

Tel Keith: 607 441 959 or Russ: 654 184 242

Local Car and Van Hire Rent on a daily, weekly, monthly or long term Airport collection/drop off Also available to rent cars and vans one way to UK, France and other European countries. Also light removals and man with a van .

Tel: 952 541 147 Mobile: 667 235 205


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r nd autnhhalfioan e n a a it Tu, arctresms ore trhecogn a Ti, ndancsepr anneedspreaardds.

r as wid aw ge sin eer h her rous a is car rning ume e ea d n os h an w tury, n ce

Profile Full Name: Anna Mae Bullock Birthday: November 26, 1939, Nutbush, Tennessee, United States Age: 74 Parents: Zelma Priscilla (née Currie) and Floyd Richard Bullock spouse: Erwin Bach (m. 2013), Ike Turner (m. 1962–1978) Children: Ronnie Turner, Raymond Craig Turner Tina is of African, Native American and European descents. Her mother, African American herself, had Cherokee as well as Navajo ancestry. During World War II, Tina went to stay with her strict, religious paternal grandparents, Baptists Alex and Roxanna Bullock.

sion. Stunned by her voice, Ike eventually allowed her to sing with the band throughout that night, later joining the band full-time. She recorded her first songs in 1958 with the band under the name "Little Ann". In 1960, Tina sang Ike’s song, "A Fool in Love," and the track was bought by Sue Records. Ike was paid a $25,000 advance for recording and publishing rights. Ike then renamed Anna Mae Bullock "Tina", because the name rhymed with his favourite television character, Sheena. In her autobiography, I, Tina, she revealed several instances of severe domestic abuse against her by Ike Turner prior to their 1976 split and subsequent 1978 divorce. She once tried to commit suicide by swallowing 50 Valiums, just before a show. In 1981, Tina appeared at The Ritz in New York City and following the performance, Rod Stewart hired her to perform a duet version of his hit, "Hot Legs", on Saturday Night Live. He later hired her to open for him on his U.S. tour. Afterwards, she opened three shows for The Rolling Stones. In January 1988, Tina made history alongside Paul McCartney when she performed in front of the largest paying audience (approximately 184,000) to see a solo performer in Maracanã Stadium in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, earning her a Guinness World Record. Tina announced her semi-retirement in 2000, but made a comeback in 2004.

Tina’s mother ran off with another man to escape her abusive husband.

At age 73, she appeared on the cover of Vogue magazine last year -- the oldest person worldwide to do so.

Tina joined both the cheerleading squad and the female basketball team at her High School.

While at a record label party in London in 1985, Tina met German music executive Erwin Bach. The couple married in Switzerland last year.

After her graduation, she worked as a nurse's aide and dreamed of becoming a nurse. Tina first saw Ike Turner and his band, the Kings of Rhythm, perform in a nightclub in the mid1950s. One night, Tina was handed the microphone while the rest of the band was in intermis-


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g n i z fe el a i m L A ine ric E Mar lect eE Th

The Electric eel is one of the most mysterious fish living in our oceans, capable of generating powerful electric shocks which it uses for hunting and selfdefence. The shocks come from electric organs with about 6,000 specialised cells called electrocytes that store power like tiny batteries. When threatened or attacking prey, these cells will discharge simultaneously, emitting a burst of at least 600 volts, five times the power of a standard US wall socket.

People have been known to drown in shallow water after a stunning jolt. The shock of an electric eel has been known to knock a horse off its feet. They are capable of varying the intensity of the electrical discharge, using lower discharges for "hunting" and higher intensities for stunning prey or defending themselves. When agitated, they are capable of producing intermittent electrical shocks over a period of at least an hour without signs of fatigue.

Despite their serpentine appearance, electric eels are not actually eels. Their scientific classification is closer to carp and catfish. They live in the murky streams and ponds of the Amazon and Orinoco basins of South America, feeding mainly on fish, but also amphibians and even birds and small mammals. As air-breathers, they must come to the surface frequently. Their average life span in the wild is 15 years They have poor eyesight, but can emit a lowlevel charge, less than 10 volts, which they use like radar to navigate and locate prey. Electric eels can reach huge proportions, exceeding 8 feet (2.5 metres) in length and 44 pounds (20 kilograms) in weight. They have long, cylindrical bodies and flattened heads and are generally dark green or greyish on top with yellowish colouring underneath. Human deaths from electric eels are extremely rare. However, multiple shocks can cause respiratory or heart failure.


TEES & POLOS Embroidered T - Shirts and Polos

Make first impressions count - Look the part! S - XXXL, Various colours, Free design QUALITY EMBROIDERY Probably the cheapest embroidered polos in the Axarquia!!! NO FADING - NO PEELING Present a great quality image for your clients

Call The Sentinella 664 210 468 Email:

“The Garden” Bar Under New Management!! Open everyday from 2pm (2 Happy Hours 2.30pm - 3.30pm / 5.30pm - 7pm) Winmau Professional Dart Board & Pool Table Draught Guinness now on tap Monday 17th March - St.Patrick’s Day Come and join us for a Great Night!!!

All LIVE sporting events inc. Premier League Football & F1 shown on our 2 METRE SCREEN & Plasma TV

Call: Janine 696 167 712

The Sentinella Business Services Tel: 664 210 468



A5 Flyers, Full colour, Glossy

A5 Flyers, Full colour, Glossy

500 1000 2000 5000

105€ 135€ 165€ 255€


100 500 1000 1500 2000

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500 1000 2000 5000

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45€ 135€ 225€ 300€ 375€

Design, Photography, Translations & Delivery all Inclusive Websites + Hosting & Domain name for 1 year - 460€


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WIN !!!!!

Competi tion

Your great little mag is bringing you a series of fiendish “Name that building” competitions in association with various local businesses This month is sponsored by Bar Atila in Puente don Manuel

They are offering a prize of 25 euros off lunch or dinner for 2 people Simply name the famous building below. If you think you know the answer, then email it to: by 19th March 2014 THE WINNER FOR  FEBRUARY WAS  PEGGY KING FROM  TORROX PARK CONGRATULATIONS !!!



February’s Answer sydney Opera house,

Australia Please note: this competition is not open to employees of The Sentinella Magazine or Atila’s. The competition is open from the 1st - 19th March 2014. The draw will take place on the 20th March and winner notified by the 1st April 2014. Only one entry per person. We will announce the winners full name in the April issue.

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s e p o c s Horo by Juanita Banana of ARIES: March 21-April 20 Treasure time available to spend with family and children this month and show them how important and special they are to you. Assess your goals, daily and long term, and accept recognition, praise and acknowledgement with grace. TAURUS: April 21-May 21 It would be prudent to catch up with people who are distant from you, especially concerning legal and financial matters and projects relating to future endeavours. You may be weaving a new spiritual sensibility and value into what´s to come. GEMINI: May 22-June 21 Accept what you have in this moment and the future will fall into place. Geminiis should pay importance to finances, particularly debt, this month. Safeguard plans you have with a partner or close friend. CANCER: June 22-July 22 Emotional stability and balance can be found through talking about what´s troubling you and the advice and care proffered by others. In the work environment make sure you are comfortable with what´s being asked. LEO: July 23-August 23 Your work colleagues are, more than usually, dependent on you during March and you will need to make decisions in their, and your own, best interests. You may feel a strong affinity with an animal or animals. VIRGO: August 24-September 22 Step outside of your personal concerns to offer sustenance and support to those around you who are in current dire need of having wounds eased. Your own problems will con-

sequently evaporate. LIBRA: September 23 - October 22 Visualise completion of everything that remains undone, unfinished, needs tending, is on hold or awaits your attention. They will become manifest as if by magic, with surprisingly little effort. SCORPIO: October 23 - November 21 A great time for Scorpio to commit to projects and people with pride and to share your beliefs, ideas, ideals and values. Make opportunities to take a short trip on business or holiday for pleasure. SAGITTARIUS: November 22 - December 21 Ambition assails you, refining and determining your values and making you a force to be reckoned with. Treat your loved ones and special friends to some simple gifts that will be treasured and appreciated far into the future. CAPRICORN: December 22 - January 20 As longer daylight hours return, and the sun shines over you, its time for Capricorns to commence that long-awaited health regime internally and externally. Beware of old conflicts arising. AQUARIUS: January 21 - February 19 Possibly a confusing, foggy period for Aquarians this month. Seek grounding where you can and indulge in creative, artistic activities and dance! PISCES: February 20 - March 20 Peace and solitude, with no worldly distractions, are recommended as the best way for Pisceans to tackle problems and projects during March. Be conscious of time flowing past as a river but don´t jump in.


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s ry e t a D e Dia h hat´s onrea? T r W ur a o Fo in y

Every Tuesday Country Farmers Market between 10am and 1.30pm. Los Jardines del Trapiche Call: Anita 627 877 164 Every Tuesday Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel, Quiz 8.30pm. 682 502 870 Every Thursday Evening Bar Viva, C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar. Bingo Quiz night with a difference. Quiz mixed with Bingo!! from 8.30pm with cash prizes. Now hosted by yours truely, Tony of The Sentinella. Come on down for a great evenings entertainment. Call 952544362 Every Friday Chiringuito Antonio Market, 10am - 1.30pm Puente don Manuel. Nerja History Group meets the first Friday of each month at the Cultural Centre, Calle Granada, Nerja at 11.30. For more information,

contact Jill Christian-Smith on: 952 538 526 664 760 405 Oct 12 Vinuela Ecological Farmers Market Opp. the Pharmacy. 1st & 3rd Sat each month. 10.3014.30. Fresh Handmade organic produce. Fruit & Veg, Cakes, Chutney & Jams, Sweets, Tarts, Bread, Pasta & Fresh Sauces, Mustards, Olive Pate, Natural Soap, Fertilizer, etc POCAPECUNIA, the Charity shop in aid of the Love A Child Foundation, has reformed the shop and is twice as big now. We are still always in need of clothes, household items, paperbacks, CD's and DVD's. Opening hours: Mon-Sat from 10am to 1.30pm. Calle Bella Vista 6 in Nerja (between the Parador and Hotel Villa Flamenca). Every Wednesday learn to draw and paint. Art classes at La Vaqueria, Benamargosa. 11am1pm, 10E includes refreshments and home made cake! See advert on this page. Every Thursday Arts & Crafts classes at La vaqueria, Benamargosa. 11am-1pm. Lively informal group covering a huge range of arts & crafts. 10€ refreshments & home made cake included. See advert on this page. Every first Sat of the month La Vaqueria has a mosaics day for all levels. 3pm - 7pm costs 20€ with materials & meal incl. Call: 952 517 273. La Vaqueria Theme Night Every last Saturday each month a different theme, this month: American Street Food, a massive variety of food from around the world! 7.30pm C/Arroyo Limon, Benamargosa. Reservations 952 517 273 Market alternate Saturdays Algarrobo Costa, Opp Lidl (1st & 3rd Saturday each month). Painting Classes with Heather Gail Harmen b.a hons Every Monday and Friday in Lake Vinuela. Always welcome new enrollees for her ever popular drawing and painting classes now in their fourth year in Spain. For further details call Heather 628 306 371 Scottish Country Dance Classes Every Tuesday n evening from 7.15pm - 9pm at El Trapiche Restaurant, for all levels, with or without partners. For further information please contact George Bain on 619 069 966 Shortmat Bowls in Nerja have relocated to the lower salon of Villa Flamenca Hotel, C/Andalucia, Nerja. Contact Marian on 952 523 754 or Malcolm on 952 520 579. Every Wednesday Camping La Vinuela, International & Farmers Market, Directions: Ctra. A-356, Km30, 10am - 3pm. Call 650 380 954.

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Da For Thetes Diary RBL - Nerja We have regular lunches on the 1st Friday of each month at “La Pena Parda “restaurant in La Herradura and at Al Andalus hotel in Maro on the 3rd Thursday of each month. Non members are most welcome and should contact Marilyn on 952526423 ( or Dave on 654085811 ( to book, also anyone interested in joining the Legion. Benajarafe International Social Club meet every Monday at 2.30pm at the Esperanza Cafe/Restaurant which is on the coast road at Km 261 in Benajarafe. We are a registered charity raising funds for H4H and another charity of the member's choice. For further details contact Heather on 634979565. Exhibition of Paintographs by Mitch France at Bar Cerezo in Canillas de Albaida, open everyday except Monday. Subject matter: Flamenco dancers and musicians, local character and scenes. Home Gallery also available to view by appointment: Call Mitch on 616 891 473, or email RBL - Benajarafe Branch Meet every Friday from 12.30-2.30pm, at the coastal, Puerto Niza restaurant, we enjoy bingo, quizzes, more entertainment & monthly outings, a superb lunch inc. drinks, & we welcome all new and existing RBL members. Tel: 603 879 308

Do you miss cricket? Cricket players wanted. Every Saturday and Sunday Cricket matches at Cartama in Malaga, All abilities welcome, aged 15-75 transport is available from Almunecar / Nerja areas. Tel: Ian on 648 950 007. The "El Valle Asociacion" Based around the Lake Vinuela & surrounding areas. Meets on the first Mon of the month at 7.30pm at the Camping Bar on the side of Lake Vinuela (A356). Or at Billy´s bar near the market at Venta Baja from 11am to 12.30 every Friday The club organises events, trips and social functions. Local artist Margaret Riordan has two Art Exhibitions currently running until April 2014 at Bar Choto Playa on the N340 at Penoncillo beach, Torrox Costa, (Not Tues). (Next to Ruta 34 motorcycles shop) andd in Restaurante Sevillano – El Rincón, Calle Gloria, Nerja. She is a self-taught artist (retired secretary) Born in Bristol, England, and has been painting and drawing all her life. She has entered many competitions with success at local and national level and over 300 of her works have been sold throughout the UK, Europe and North America. Costa Animal Society (CAS) February Events 21st Quiz Night at Punta Lara Bar, Nerja. Quiz with Dave Jamieson starts 8.00pm. Entrance fee of three euros and raffle proceeds go to CAS. Food and drink available. Booking essential with Mark on 635 369 673. We are inviting all to participate in a environmental solidarity event, organized by Asoc. P.A.Z. on 16th March from 10am - approx. 8pm in La Vega - Algarrobo (next to Otawa). During the morning will be Algarrobo River cleaning, later there will be a bar, drinks, food and some music, concert and dancing events... where everyone can participate and enjoy. Workshops are expected. Come, enjoy, participate and collaborate at this solidarity event. Your town, Your district, Your Planet. For more Information pls call: 645 48 66 81/619 821 826/636 55 57 17 email: or visit our website:


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? n O s ’ t Wh a

sponsored by:

riGHTs ArKW The British Store & More OPEN ALL “OURS” Puente don Manuel Call: 952 519 780

Royal British Legion Torre del Mar For information on events tel. 663 658 354 We meet every Wed at La Vega Rest Torre Del Mar next to Mercadona E-mail: / Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Torre del Mar. Avda. Moscatel 1”I”, (Jardines Viña Malága/Antigua Casa de la Viña), Torre del Mar, 29740. Opening hours Monday through Friday 10.00 to 13.00 and 15.00 to 18.00. Tel.952 543 334 E-mail; Web: Daily events in the centre Monday through Thursday Spanish courses. Monday – Computer Tuition & Wi-Fi Connection available, please bring your own computer. Prayer Group. Half Orange (Widows/Widowers/Singles) Group. German Coffee. Tuesday –“Espan-Glish”. Wednesday – Computer Tuition & Wi-Fi Connection available, please bring your own computer. Art Group. Thursday – Bible Study. “EspanGlish”. Friday – Spanish Conversation. Wi-Fi Connection available, please bring your own computer. Coffee Morning Refreshments with a Boutique, Bric-a-brac, preserves books and cards for sale. Library and Tourist Reference Library. 11.00am – 13.00pm. Mobility Equipment Available: Wheelchairs, crutches, walkers and other mobility aid available on loan. Tuesday 11th – EXCURSION TO ANTEQUERA. Please come and join friends on a visit to the city of Antequera. On arrival there will be time for coffee and then follows a guided tour in English, of the old quarters of the town which includes Plaza del Portichuelo, Capilla Tribuna de la Virgen Del Socorro, Real Colegiata de Santa María, Torre del Homenaje, Plaza, Iglesia del Carmen and entrence to the Alcazaba. There then follows a visit to the Dolmenes del Maenga which also includes an audiovisual in English. The visit ends at the Plaza del Pozo Viejo. After the visits there will be lunch at the Museo “Molino Blanco”. The price includes coach, guided tours, entrance fees and lunch.The price includes coach, guided tours, entrance fees and lunch. Times of departure Algarrobo (Lidle) 7.35am, Caleta 7.45am, Torre (Bus Station) 8.00am. Depar-

ture Antequera 16.00h GOLF Would you like a game of friendly but competitive golf every Sunday morning? TOGS (possibly the friendliest Society on the Costa) play every Sunday morning at Baviera and welcome new members, whether residents, frequent visitors or holiday makers. Our Society is made up of both male and female, various nationalities, and mixed abilities. For more information email our Captain George Clay at or call 625936814 The Trapiche Social Club meets every Wednesday at 12 noon until 2pm at the Trapiche Restaurant, just off the A356 VelezMalaga to La Vinuela. The Restaurant/Bar has ample parking and is an ideal place to meet friends. Our weekly Wednesday meetings are an ideal place to meet and make new friends. The first Wednesday in the month is our regular lunch meeting when you can enjoy a 3 course lunch with wine, casera and water for just €8.50. SEEKING CHARITIES - People helping People Do you know of any SPANISH Charities (O.N.G) who help people and are seeking funding? The American International Club is currently seeking Spanish Organisations who are seeking assistance. The organisation will be presenting a donation at the Dia de Residente event this April in Nerja. If you are aware of an

organisation that assists Spanish people, please send an email with contact information to

Phoenix Club meet every Tuesday in the Restaurant above Supersol (nr the Police Stattion) Torre del Mar from 12.00 midday to 1.30pm.For info call Gail 951067723, email

Coral CoraXalia Do you like singing? We are inviting new male and female singers to become members of the local choir, Coral CoraXalia. Good atmosphere, all nationalities, good repertoire, performances, social events, possible touring, etc. Rehearsals on Thursdays 17.30 - 20.00 in Vinuela village, Casa de Cultura. Plenty of free parking. Come and join us! For more information, call 669 682 139 English / 689 111 352 Spanish

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What’s O n? Lake Vinuela Social Club We meet on the 1st Thursday of the month from 12.30pm until (approx) 2.30pm followed by lunch at Bar Atila, Puente Don Manuel to enjoy social activities and meet like minded friends. We regularly have a quiz, open the box, bingo and a guest speaker. Our aim is to enjoy ourselves and raise money for local and international charities. For further details please contact 676 772 693 or email Come and Learn to Dance Ballroom & Latin American Dancing (11 different dances). *New beginners class 8.30-10.30pm (class and practise)*. Improvers, Intermediate classes and private lessons from 7pm or, just come and dance on a large floor 9.00-10.30pm. Qualified, v.experienced, patient teachers. Have fun learning or improving! Bar & friendly people. Partner not necessary. Cafeteria Avenida (near Police Station & petrol station) For more info call Eric and Jennifer 95 252 3599 (The Nerja Dance Club) The American International Club is a social club open to all nationalities which spans the area from Almunecar to Torrox and beyond. Activities include tapas runs, monthly excursions, petanque, coffee mornings, dinners and walks. The Club raises funds for Spanish charities and each year makes a significant donation to a local organisation as a way of saying "thank you" to our host nation. Our motto is "If it isn't fun, we don't do it". To join in the fun email: RBL - Los Romanes Branch We now meet on a Monday from 12-2.00pm in the Garden Restaurant, La Vinuela. We are a small branch with a big heart and welcome all. You do not have to be an ex member of the armed forces to either join or visit. Our aim is to have fun whilst making money for the RBL poppy appeal. Information can be obtained from our website or Margaret Branch Sec. 951066079 Do you live in Axarquia? Do you like to sing but find yourself singing alone at home or in the car? Would you like to sing with new friends? Why not join us? Bel Canto is a multi-national group from across the region who likes to get together once a week to sing in a variety of musical styles. We meet in Velez Malaga. We have a professional musician to direct us and

to help us improve our singing. From time to time, we give public performances, but above all we take pleasure in singing together. All nationalities are welcomed. If you would like to know call Louise on 952 534 173. Leave a message with your number I will call you back. (Spanish - Mariángeles on 952 510 173) Don’t miss this opportunity to make new friends! Vinuela Market - New International & Country Market, every Wednesday 10am. - 3 pm. Great location at Camping Vinuela. Bar Camping next door offering Menu del Dia 7€! - Enjoy the experience of being in the heart of Axarquia and watch the market grow! For more info email: or telephone 650 380 954. Volunteers needed. The Costa Animal Society needs your help, particularly with their efforts at the Sunday car boot markets in Nerja and Almuñecar. If you have some time, and especially if you own a 4x4 or other large vehicle, your assistance in transporting and selling goods on a Sunday morning would be much appreciated as both these markets help raise much needed funds to care for rescued animals. If you can assist CAS in any way - fund raising, airport runs or fostering - please call Wendy at 660 271 984 or Vera at 680 315 880. The Axarquia therapists support group holds its next meeting on 26th March at the El Pantano bar starting at 7.30pm. This month we are fortunate to have Janet Van Dam giving a talk on Thermography. Thermography is a test of physiology, or in other words, how the body functions. This is done by using an infrared camera to detect minute temperature variations related to blood flow, it shows us any abnormal patterns which might indicate an underlying dysfunction of an organ or tissue! Thermography offers a valuable first time, non invasive breast screening to identify early stages of breast disease, it is especially useful for women who seek an alternative to regular breast screening like mammography or ultrasound. So, why not come along.. its something a lot of women maybe do not know about .. Janet will offer a discount if there are enough women who maybe interested in having the screening. Please note change of venue! we will for the foreseeable future be holding our meetings at El Pantano Bar I look forward to seeing you there. If you need any more info you can email me on


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n o i t a m r Info ...In our own random order! Bus Times Call: 952 540 936 Nerja-Malaga 06:30, 07:30, 08:30 08:55, 10:10, 11:10, 12:25, 13:40, 14:55, 15:55, 17:10, 18:40, 19:40, 20:25 Malaga-Nerja 07:00, 08:15, 09:15, 10:30, 11:45, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:15; 17:30; 18:45, 20:15, 20:45, 21:30 Expect to pay approx 2.90€ one way and 5.15€ round trip Nerja-Nerja Caves 08:10, 08:25, 09:40, 10:40, 11:50; 11:55, 12:35, 13:10, 13:35, 14:25, 15:25; 16:40; 18:10, 18:55, 19:30, 20:10 Nerja Caves-Nerja 08:45, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, 12:15, 12:50, 13:30, 14:45. 15:45, 17:00 17:45; 18:30; 19:30; 20:15 Expect to pay approx 0.80€ one way Nerja-Torre see Nerja-Malaga times Torre-Nerja 07:45, 09:00, 09:15, 10:00, 11:00, 11:15; 11:45, 12:30, 13:15, 14:45, 16:00, 17:30, 18:15, 19:30, 21:00, 22:00. Church services in English services at Inglesia de san Miquel (St, Michael's Church) every Sunday at 12 noon (except during May) and at Capilla de Nuestra Señora del Carmen (Fisherman's Chapel, Chinasol). There is a short service of Holy Communion Wednesday's at 9.30am in the Church Shop, Calle Malaga, Nerja. Details of how to find the churches are also available in the Church Shop. Priest in Charge: Father Geoff Johnston Tel: Church House 952 521 339 Church Shop 952 522 460. Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Tel: 952 219 396 Malaga - St. George´s Church in the Engish Cemetery. 11.00am Sundays Tel: 952 219 396 Velez-Malaga - Capilla De San Jose, Calle Linares 7, Velez-Malaga. Sundays 10.30. Website Tel 952 407 050 Anglican communion. Torre del Mar - St Barnabas Church (IERE) Spanish episcopal services in English at 11am, Morning Prayer 1st and 3rd Sundays. Holy Communion 2nd and 4th Sundays. Tel. 952

Local Police : 091 guardia : 062 Fire : 080 030 461 (Priest). Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Avda Moscatel 1 "I", (Gardens of Viña Malaga/ Antigua Casa Del Viña). Roman Catholic - Torre del Mar - Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Saturdays 5pm, (Winter), and 18.00pm. sunday Anglican Church of St. Barnabas (IERE) 11am. Morning prayer 1st & 3rd Sundays, Holy Communion 2nd & 4th Sundays. Evangelical - Torre del Mar Evangelical (Presbyterian Church) meets every Sunday for Worship in English at 11.30am in the Picasso Room, Hotel Torremar, (off Paseo Larios) C/ Saladero Viejo 15 Torre del Mar. All welcome. Minister J. Hartsmith Foy. Tel: 952 532 825 or: Torrox Community Church meets at 11.15am on Thursdays for coffee and discussions on current topics. This is an informal church meeting for everyone to join in. At El Ancla, Peñoncillo Beach, a warm welcome awaits you. More info: Minister Rev. J. Hartsmith Foy. Tel.952 532 825 email Puente don Manuel - Fellowship of the King, Sunday Worship - 11am. Midweek activities Pilates - Tues midday-1pm, Bridge club tues 2.15-6pm, Charity shop/books open Wed, Fri & Sat 10-1.30pm. Bible Study Thursday 57pm. We meet at Fellowship of the King premises situated underneath Maroma Inmobiliaria, El Cruce de Puente don Manuel. Phone 952 115 220 or 952 518 185 Torre del Mar Evangelical Church (Part of the Spanish Evangelical Church in partnership with Presbyterian Church Ireland) Sunday service in English 11.30am. Picasso Room Hotel Torremar off Paseo Larios Torre del Mar Minister Rev. J. Hartsmith Foy Tel 952 532 825 Bank hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am. Taxis Torre: 952 540 016, Nerja: 952 520 537 Velez Malaga: 952 540 016, Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

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Ambulance : 061 water : 952 540 662 Electricity : 952 540 662 Tourist Information Nerja: 952 521 531 Torre del Mar: 952 541 104


Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004

weekly Market days Mondays: Torrox Costa Tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche on the road to Benamagosa. wednesdays; Rincon de la Victoria, Algarrobo Costa & Camping Vinuela Ctr.A356 KM30. Thursdays: Velez Malaga & Torre del Mar & Frigilana Fridays: Puente don Manuel & Cala de Moral saturdays: Caleta de Velez , Competa & Benajarafe, Algarrobo Costa, Opp Lidl (1st & 3rd Saturday each month) sundays: Malaga Consulates Uk Opposite the main bus station Edif, Eurocom Bloque Sur C/Mauricio Moro 2-2º- Malaga 902 109 256 or 913 342 194 Ireland Avda, de los Boliches, Nº15 Fuengirola 952 475 108 Netherlands/Dutch Avda, Palma de Mallorca, 57 Edif. Castillo San Louis, bajo 29620 Torremolinos 952 380 888 germany C/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga 952 363 591 sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197 Telefonica



Airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 granada 952 048 804 Airlines shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the weekly markets are only open mornings. water supplies Velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013 Railway stations Malaga: 952 360 202 granada: 958 271 272 Town halls Torre and Velez: 952 500 100 Torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 Rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000 hospitals Nerja Ambulatorio: 952 523 131 Velez Malaga: 951 067 000 ITV Call: 902 575 757 or 952 551 084 - Open Mon - Fri 08.00am 18.45pm, Sat: 08:00am - 12.45pm


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) : a h a Jokes h One day a man decided to retire... He booked a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island, alone, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he notes. "You were lucky to have a row boat wash up with you." "Oh, this?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, where did you get the tools?" "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted intoductile iron I used to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says. So, after a short row, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please." "Would you like a drink?" "No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Tropical Spritz?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch

to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs.." No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs to the bathroom. In the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, moving closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around? She stares into his eyes ... He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes, "You've built a golf course?" ------------------------------------------------------------A 72-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back normal so the doctor says, "Harry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?" Harry replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof!, the light goes on. When I'm done, poof!, the light goes off." "Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls Harry's wife. "Mrs White," he says, "Harry is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?" "OH GOOD GRIEF!" Mrs White exclaims, "He's pissing in the fridge again!"

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Jokes h a ha :) Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!' So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.? It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!' The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin? St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?' The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!'? ------------------------------------------------------------Guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll. Guy behind the counter says, 'Male or female?' Customer says, 'Female.' Counter guy asks, 'Black or white? Customer says, 'White.' Counter guy asks, 'Christian or Muslim?' Customer says, 'What the hell does religion have to do with it?' Counter guy says, 'The Muslim one blows itself up.'

A German guy approaches a lady of the night. 'I vish to buy sex viz you.' 'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge ÂŁ20 an hour.' ' goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.' 'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.' So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. 'I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und knees.' The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees. 'Now you vill get on your hans und knees.' She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs. 'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.' She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying.) She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say, 'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position?' 'Ah,' says the German . . 'zat is ze.... Foursprung Duck technique'

Saint Stevie The Scouse Section First Combined Monkey And Scouser Flight To The Moon The monkey enters the rocket and finds an envelope marked "Monkey". It opens it and reads the letter. It contained very precise and complicated instructions on how to fly the rocket. The Scouser enters the rocket and finds an envelope marked "Scouser". He opens and reads the letter. It said "Feed the monkey"


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s e g a P Puzzle Get Quizical

Hey Diddle Riddle

1. Which word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?

1. Of what is semiotics the study? 2. Who created Snoopy? 3. Which actor was the first to play Doctor Who? 4. Who painted ‘The Kiss’? 5. What does a ‘dendrologist’ study?

3. What kind of tree can you carry in your hand?

6. What was the name of the first dog in space? 7. Which soft drink was invented by Charles Alderton in Texas in 1885? 8. Which salad ingredient can be ‘English’, ‘Armenian’, ‘Garden’ or ‘Lemon’? 9. Which UK rugby union team are known as the ‘Tigers’? 10. What is the capital city of the American state of Ohio? 11. How many strings are there on a full-size Grand Concert harp? 12. Rotelle pasta is what shape?

2. If you had a 5-litre bowl and a 3-litre bowl, and an unlimited access to water, how would you measure exactly 4 litres?

4. Three missionaries and three cannibals want to get to the other side of a river. There is a small boat, which can fit only two. To prevent a tragedy, there can never be more cannibals than missionaries together. So, how do they do it? 5. What mathematical symbol can be placed between 5 and 9, to get a number greater than 5 and smaller than 9? 6. If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven't got me. What am I?

Answers on page 107

Sudokus Easy


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Puzzle P ages

Crossword Across


1 French cheese (9)

2 Amaze (7)

8 Private, confined to a select group (8)

3 Ireland (4)

9 Morose (4)

4 Gambling card game (8)

10 Overwhelming defeat (4)

5 Stiff (5)

11 Authorisation (7) 13 Outrage, dudgeon (11) 15 Expertise (4-3) 17 Agile, nimble (4) 20 Small case (4) 21 Patient; broad-minded (8) 22 Top level in judo (5,4)

6 Russian ruler (4) 7 Sheep meat (6) 12 Religious sceptic (8) 13 Set light to (6) 14 Endanger (7) 16 Swirl, spin (5) 18 Pull sharply (4) 19 Piece of paving (4)


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r e d a r T The

oto. t inc. ph r e v d a oxed th. 5€ for b th of the mon ll: 664 210 468 1 r o s d the 17 8 wor th or ca um of 2 made before th of the mon im x a m e 7 1 b 3€ for a Payment to before ll e n ti n ese ales@th Email s

Properties For Sale/Rent/Wanted sUCCEssFUL ChIP shOP FOR sALE. Puente don Manuel. Please call for more information 693 01 41 89 FLAT, 90M2, in Vélez-Málaga, new, 5 mins to schools, health centre, supermarket, bus station, highway and 5 km to the sea. 3 bedrooms, a prime quality furnished kitchen, 22m2 terrace, lift and garage. JUST REDUCED €159.000, NOW 145,000€ tlf: 606 764 539. Ready to move in. BRAND NEw LARgE 4 BEDROOM, TOwNhOUsE 3 bathroom, with garden and garage for sale or rent in Riogordo. €195,000 to buy €550 PCM to rent. More details and photos Tel: 676 851 135 email sT LUCIA, ThE MARQUIs EsTATE, 1-bed luxury apartment for sale, 187,000GBP (currently worth 225,000GBP), development due for completion end 2014, SIPPS secured investment. Call: 610 976 284 for more details. REsTAURANT AVAILABLE FOR RENT in Torre del Mar. Large terrace. Call: 631 342 193

wANTED Long Term Furnished Rental 2 bed (and preferably 2 bath) ground floor property with small garden or large patio for small well behaved dog. Walking distance to beach and internet connection. Call: 628 869 516 2/3 BEDROOM hOUsE TO LET in Benamargosa. Available for long or short term lets from 280€ pcm. Also holiday lets from 200€ per week. 2 mins to supermarket, bars and swimming pool. Call: 636 117 210 RUsTIC sTUDIO hOUsE FOR sALE in Competa, furnished with fireplace. Huge reduction 27.000€ Call: 657 225 964. sALE OF TwO FINCAs Arenas / Velez 1,000 metres each one. Platform wooden house or caravan. Escriturada 10,000€ & 17,000€ Tel: 657 225 963


APARTMENT FOR sALE EL MORChE, 1 bed, 1 bath apartment situated just 2 mins away from the beautiful sandy beach of El Morche. With separate kitchen, balcony, marble floors, communal swimming pool and it comes furnished. Ideal starter home or holiday home. NOW 80,000€ Call: 610 976 284

in Torre del Mar, fully functioning and equipped. Ideal for non-Spanish speaker as 85% of clients are foreign residents. Excellent, central location and cost effective rent.

FOR sALE Semi Detached house 802m2 in small hamlet of Venta Alta. Living room with fireplace, fitted kitchen with appliances, bathroom, 3 double beds, 30m2 terrace, garden with fruit trees in plot of 250m2. Needs some tlc. 80,000€ Call: Rita 634 409 647

Call: 601 305 869

COUNTRY PROPERTY Situated in the Quaint Buddhist Hamlet of Aldea Baja. Built in 2006: Mains Electricity & Water, Escritura. 5min drive to Velez & Viñuela 75,000€. Tel: 652281141

sPACIOUs IMMACULATE DETAChED sINgLE sTOREY VILLA. 545 plot, level easily maintained garden. Fabulous sea-view 350 mtrs to coast. 4 beds, 3 bath, lounge dining room, sun-room, fitted kitchen, separate utility, large rooms, separate storage room 25 sq mtrs - could convert. Terraces, private parking 2 cars. Reduced to €299,999. Mezquitilla 667224421 or

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


3€ for a maximu m of 28 Pay wo Email: s ales@th ment to be ma rds or 15€ for esentine d e e before the 17nquire about b before 1 o th 5th of th of the month xed adverts e month . or call: 6 64 210 4 68

Properti es

Wanted TAIL TORROX would welcome any donations of clothing, bric-a-rac, furniture for their shops in Avenida El Faro and the shop opposite Mercadona Torrox Costa. Please contact linda 622 652 017.

LOgs FOR sALE 5€ A whEELBARROw LOAD self service. Palm Trees for sale, all sizes from 3€. Finca dos Mundos KM7, old road Trapiche/Vinuela. Dig up your own Palm Tree. Tel: 952 03 06 79

I wILL COLLECT FREE of charge all your used clothing, bric-a-brac, pots and pans, books, toys, CD´s garden pots, tools, pieces of furniture or anything else you are throwing out whilst you are cleaning. Call me on Tel:- 658 72 92 74 Jacqui

OLIVE TREEs FOR sALE Various sizes from 4€, 3 years old, height 1.5/1.6 metres. Already have olives on them. This variety is very resistent to frost and drougts. Call: 650 943 713

TIME TO sPARE? Join our Fundraising Team & help us make dogs happy and contented. At Apariv we are always striving to do more for the abandoned dogs in our area. BUT this obviously costs money. If you have a few hours to spare and have ideas on how we can raise money or enjoy helping organise events, we would love to hear from you. Call 670807997 email: RETIRED ELDERLY REQUIRINg hOME hELP. All chores considered. Cleaning, gardening, sewing etc. Exp carer and driver. Also house and pet sitting offered. Ref’s available. Mature lady.Tel 652 278 543

Employment wANTED EsTATE AgENT who speaks fluent English, knowledge of Spanish and German essential. Call: 607 839 032

Items for Sale BEAUTIFUL ChIhUAhUA TOY PUPPIEs for sale from 350€ Call: 622 434 611 Also available on Whatsapp

INDEsIT FRIDgE FREEZER 18months old , with receipt, guaranteed 5 years. Cost 400€ new. Exceklent Condition, hardly used. Fior sale for 150€ Call: 608 022 764 hEAVY DUTY gARDEN wOOD shREDDER any reasonable offer. Call: 608 022 764 sINgLE ENgLIsh PINE BED and Mattress for sale. Size approx 36in wide by 76in long. Also pine bed that fits under above no mattress with this. 40€ for three items. Mattress is from IKEA sultan range. Phone Andy on 952 556 709 MARkET sTALL FOR sALE 6 metres x 3 metres. Sectional Galvanized Steel Construction with Cover, Little used Bargain at €220 (View: Torrox Costa)nTel: 672 552 062 E-mail: FOLDINg sINgLE BED on casters and also an extra Single mattress All very clean and in good condition. Tel: 672 552 062 E-mail: (Torrox Costa)

Advertise your items for sale for just 3 euros a month lineage advert Call: 664 210 468 Email:


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r e d a r T The

hoto. rt inc. p e v d a d boxe th. 15€ for th of the mon ll: 664 210 468 r o s d r 7 a f 28 wo nth or c re the 1 imum obe made befo 17th of the mo x a m a 3€ for Payment to before ell esentin th @ s le Email sa

Property For Sale

ApArtment For SAle el morChe

This one bed, one bath apartment is situated just two minutes away from the beautiful sandy beach of El Morche. It has a separate kitchen, balcony, marble floors, communal swimming pool and it comes fully furnished. It's an ideal starter home or holiday home.

JUsT REDUCED TO: €80,000

For more info or to arrange a viewing call 610 976 284 or email

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s n e T p To 8 7 6 5 4 , 9 , 0



2, ,3, , , ,


The Top Ten Countries with the Most Fighter Jets... 1. USA (3,939) 2. China (2,900)

The Top Ten Newspaper Reading Countries...

3. Russia (2,636)

1. Norway

4. India (738)

2. Japan 3. Finland 4. Sweden 5. South Korea 6. Kuwait 7. UK 8. Switzerland 9. Singapore 10. Denmark


5. North Korea (621) 6. Egypt (580) 7. South Korea (555) 8. Ukraine (543) 9. Taiwan (482) 10. France (473)

get Quizical Answers 1. Signs and symbols, 2. Charles M. Schulz, 3. William Hartnell, 4. Gustav Klimt, 5. Trees, 6. Laika, 7. Dr. Pepper 8. Cucumber, 9. Leicester, 10. Columbus, 11. 47, 12. Wagon Wheel Last Month’s Crossword Riddle Diddle Answers Answers 1. Incorrectly, 2. Fill the 5-litre bowl and pour water to the 3-litre bowl, which you empty afterwards. From the 5-litre bowl pour the 2 remaining litres to the 3-litre bowl. Refill the 5-litre bowl and fill in the 3-litre bowl (with 1 litre), so there stay the 4 required litres in the 5-litre bowl, 3. A palm, 4. 1 cannibal and 1 missionary there, missionary back. 2 cannibals there, 1 cannibal back. 2 missionaries there, 1 missionary and 1 cannibal back. 2 missionaries there, 1 cannibal back. This one cannibal takes the remaining cannibals to the other side, 5. decimal point - 5.9, 6. Secret.

Find The Face Answer February -

The Sentinella Paginas “The best A-Z Directory in the Axarquia”

NEW WEBSITE Your advert in print & online for just 60 euros for 12 months!!

664 210 468 Welcome to The Sentinella Paginas - the most comprehensive business directory covering the entire Axarquia region. Opposite you will find the phone numbers, email addresses and websites of services ranging from plumbers to dentists to restaurants. In fact, whatever you’re looking for, you’ll find it in The Sentinella Paginas! The flags visible on each listing indicate which language(s) the business owners speak, the first being their preferred language. We distribute 7,000 copies of The Sentinella every month, this is the most magazines that any one magazine distributes each and every month and contact details are updated each month to ensure accuracy. Prices are 30€ - 3 months, 40€ - 6 months, 60€ 12 months. Book now for great cheap and effective advertising. Our next edition is April 2014 and the deadline for adding your business or service is March 17th. If you would like us to add a new category heading then we’ll be more than happy to assist. To place your advert: Email: or Call: 664 210 468 or 610 876 732

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The Sen tinella Paginas

We can Call tod list your Busin ay on 66 es 4 210 4 s here from ju 68 or E st mail: sa 5 euros a mo les@the n sentinell th!!

ACCOMMODATION wEscuela La Crujia rural B&B/guesthouse in a pretty converted schoolbuilding. 5 minutes from Velez-Malaga. Tel. 606 010 580. Email:

AIR CONDITIONING w For Air Conditioning call Mark at Esola, 616 119 007, Torre del Mar w Professional and reliable servicing, repairs and installation of A/C at competitive rates by a qualified technician.Call Susie or Peter 655 211 192 or visit wChs Cooling and heating solutions. All makes of air conditioning, serviced and installed. Also Solar Heating and swimming pool heat pumps. Call: 655 791 167 or Email: w Matthew Dean Mobile: 644 406 259 email: References or viewings of previously completed works available.

ALES/CRAFT BEER/HOME BREWING w La Domadora y El Le贸n, Craft Beer Store. Spanish & international craft beers. Naturally crafted artisan beers produced by small Spanish & International micro breweries. Take Away & Tasting Lounge, Home Delivery, Wholesale. Call: 952 534 137/610 778 358;,; C/ San Sebasti谩n, 61. Frigiliana (Malaga)

ARCHITECTS Licensed in spain-experienced in Building, Refurbishing, Legalising & Consulting. Speaks fluent: English, Spanish, French & German. Andreas Boden

+34 638 82 29 72 Email:

ARTIFICIAL GRASS wAxarverde Maintenance free. Looks like real grass. Enviroment, child and pet friendly. Always green. Suitable for every surface. Call: 619 317 211 or visit our website:

BATHROOMS w Matthew Dean Mobile: 644 406 259 email: References or viewings of previously completed works available.

BOAT TRIPS wLuxury Yacht Charters Tel: 618 972 139 wCaleta Cruise Club Tel: 634 382 609

BEAUTY & BOUTIQUE wLouise Beauty & Boutique, The Alcaucin side of Lake Vinuela. Call: 951 167 181 or 680 855 030 wThe hair & Beauty studio Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel, (along from Morenos) Call: 951 204 158 or 693 740 575

BLINDS wsolar blinds, ideal for large glazed areas to keep the view but also giving privacy and stopping maximum amounts of heat/glare and fading of furnishings. Speak to Ian 644 54 61 76 958 49 65 71


Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

The Sentinella Paginas BOOKSHOPS wPasatiempo Calle Infantes 32, Torre del Mar, 952 543 703,

BRITISH SUPERMARKETS wArkwrights English Shop. Turn right at Venta Baja Crossroads or call: 952 519 780 or 659 375 603

BUILDERS wAll types of building work undertaken, 37 years experience, Let me quote you. Call: 952 110 788 or 650 895 461 wJohn housby, Building, Plastering, Tiling & Painting. For a quotation ring John: 699 261 414. Email: wLT Construction - is a building company based in the Velez Malaga area. We specialise in all aspects of design, building license application and construction, we have over 14 years of expertise in creating individual building solutions for our clients. Our local knowledge of the land and its soil types - and how best to deal with the challenges posed by them - means that we are the best-suited company to advise you on your building requirements. Call Lee Talbot on 659324586 wNick Turner Refurbs All aspects of building work undertaken. Mobile: 679 113 600 Telephone: 952 553 124 Email: wBuilding and Decorating All types of building and decorating work including tiling, plumbing, electrics, painting and any welding jobs etc.. Call for a free quote: 606 656 008

wNerja Nurses, Professional Nurses, Reliable - Affordable - Local Quality Care. NHS Qualified & Trained - 25 years experience in ALL types of care. Tel: 628 793 413 or 952 030 713 Email:

CARPENTERS wAndrew Rodgers 20 years experience in kitchens, wardrobes, shelving, aluminium door & windows. Call the Window Doctor for any window problem. Roller shutter blinds, mosquito blinds, security locks, repairs and renewals reasonable rates, Tel: 660 597 894 email: w Matthew Dean Mobile: 644 406 259 email: References or viewings of previously completed works available.

CARPET & UPHOLSTERY CLEANING wRoy’s Carpet & Upholstery Cleaning. Professional Machines, 18 years experience. All areas covered. Call Mark on 958 640 068 or 656 561 669

CHIROPODISTS wRegisitered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. 25yrs experience NHS & private. Call: 636 866 715

CHIROPRACTIC CARE wPhilippe Druart D.C., grad. from AECC (GB) and USA, 30 years exp., opens a chiropractic clinic in Frigiliana, C/ Blas Infante, 2 bajo. Consultations: Monday from 16.30 to 20.30, Wednesday from 10.00 to 14.00, other days on appointment only. Tel. 951 708 672 & 678 691 387. Email:



wwindow Tinting, A mobile service for your convenience, ITV legal & certified. Cut out annoying glare. Stop U/V. Protect Children & pets. Be Cool. Enjoy the sun don't suffer it! Call Ian 902 888 176/ 644 546 176

wAnalysis Clinic, Haematology, Coagulation (Contro of Warfarin), Biochemistry, Inmunology, Hormone, Bacteriology, Parasitology, Special analysis. Home visits for blood tests. Antonio Armijo Navas, Specialist in Clinical Analysis. Urb. Costa del Oro, Local-4. Torrox Costa, Phone: 952 53 23 93

CARS WANTED wwanted all UK plated vehicles. Year 2000 onwards. cash paid. Call: 667 235 205

CAR AND VAN RENTAL wOne way car & van hire, UK, France and Spain. Call: 952 541 147

CARERS/AGENCIES wLady experienced in care of the elderly in their own homes. Written references available. Tel: Monica 648 049 486

COMPUTERS All computer problems solved. Torrox/Nerja and surrounding areas. Free Advice. No Fix No Fee. Hardware, Software and Website solutions. PC service - only 50€. Call Rab on: 952 967 124 or 645 236 259 wComputer help.Troubleshooting & Repairs. New PCs supplied with Windows in English. WiFi installations. Reasonable rates. Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000. Patient & professional. Call David on 952 54 96 07 or 654 899 976.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


The Sentinella Paginas COOLING PRODUCTS Professional Quality Outdoor Misting Systems. Affordable & fits any areas. Discourages flying insects. DIY or pro install. Tel: 693 777 065

DAMP CONTROL w“The Master sealer” Damp Proofing & Plaster professionals, 20 years+ exp. 10 year guarantee on our damp proofing system. Fed up with flaking paint & plaster? Have it replaced & rectified once & for all at competitive prices. Call: 655 211 192

DECORATORS wPainter and Decorator, qualified tradesman, over 35yrs experience, all aspects of the trade covered, reasonable rates, references supplied. Call: 628 653 676

DENTISTRY wClinica Europa Centro internacional, Blq. 86, Torrox Costa. Call: 952 53 09 08 Email: British dentist, 24hrs response Call: 648 203 157 wIan Pett Dental Care, 5 Star dental car you can trust. Now at Periana, Caleta & Canillas de Aceituno. Call Ian on 691700587 to consult about treatment, clinic location and arrange suitable appointments. Same personal service with gentle treatment a priority. wDentadanes s.c Dental Clinic Offering Danish, top quality dental care at Spanish prices. Est. since 1991. We speak English, Danish, German, Spanish and Italian. Tel: 952 529 666 Mon-Fri 10-5pm

DOG GROOMING wThe Dog shop, Professional grooming salon. All dogs welcome, any size, any breed. Tel: 645 525 782, Centro Comercial, 10, Torrox Park.

DRAIN CLEARANCE wwayne’s Drains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out. Tel/Fax: 952 539 425. 24 Hour Service: 634 275 030 / 657 862 628 wAt Your service Plumbing, Electrical, Prop. Maintenance Torre del Mar/Puente don Manuel area. Ex. Corgi reg. with over 35 years experience. Tel: 951 066 064 / 692 330 420 Email:

ELECTRICIANS wElectro-Cute! English J.I.B. Electrician. For all your electrical needs and problems. Fault finding/Lighting

and Power/Electric gates and Intercoms/Pool and water Pumps, Rewires/Upgrades. Over 40 years exp. Tel Stefan 610 048 919 wElectrician - All jobs from a socket to rewires, Fault Finding and Intercom Systems. Call Andrew 618 640 155 Email: wsparkinspain - Electrical installations and maintenance. Local from Nerja to Velez-Malaga and inland to Competa and Frigiliana. Call Colin 951 242 449 or Mob 666 707 297 Web:

EST AGENTS/PROPERTY RENTALS wspanish Management Vinuela (next to the Farmacia) 666 135 516 or 650 702 258 Web: Email:

ESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATE wFleming Properties, Calle Dr. Fleming, 1, Nerja. 952 524 140 or 637 278 306/606 087 362, wAxarquia Properties s.LCall; 626 038 851 or 952 436 Email: wBuy A home spain/Rent A home spain, Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar. (Opposite the bus station) Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: Website:

FURNITURE wCudeca Second Hand Furniture Shop, 952 545 212 Calle Infantes 48, Torre del Mar (by Thursday market) Mon-Fri 10.00-13.30 and 17.30-19.30. Saturdays 10.00-13.30 only. If you wish to donate furniture please call Melanie on 638 108 564

GARDENING SERVICES wRed Palm Beetles, Wasps, Ants, Woodlice, Mice, Rats and all pests. Processionary Moths. Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems. Tel: 634 431 099 wPool and garden maintenance. Good rates Call Keith 952 554 514 / 674 526 968

Advertise your business here! 30 euros for 3 months 40 euros for 6 months 60 euros for 12 months Call: 664 210 468


Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

The Sentinella Paginas GARDENING (cont) wMaintenance of gardens and swimming Pools. English, German and Spanish speaking 26 year old. Call David: 656 775 928 wgardener with degree in gardening. Studied at the Laboral University in Malaga. Offers his services for; complete design, layouts, pruning and maintenance, including swimming pools and irrigation systems. Tel: Dany 647 009 101

GREETINGS CARDS wspanglish Cards. Stocking our cards could not be simpler & does not cost you a cent. Display spinners supplied free. Market traders X stock available. New designs. Spanglish dual language cards stocked. Customise your cards with your own logo or photo. Email: Tel:617 979 640

HEALTH & BEAUTY wweight Control - Herbalife Independent Distributor, Bea Savory, 95 253 4795 (business opportunity also available): wweight watchers Meetings in English. Nerja and Vélez. Call Candace on 952 549 607 or 626 672 493 for further info. Email: wAre you overweight, suffer weight-related health issues like diabetes? Do you lack energy? Right Food Choices Nutritional Coaching can help you. Learn to control your blood sugar & lose weight permanently in 1 easy coaching session. For a free 20 min consultation call Janet on 61 89 89 125, Skype janetvandam or wEsencia Natural cosmetics, incense, soaps, perfumes, makeup, face & body products and herbal tea. Avd Andalucia, 51, Caleta de Velez Call: 615 289 624 Email/Facebook

HEALTH SHOPS wRincón Natural Nerja: natural remedies, organic food, natural skincare products, spelt husk pillows, incense, feng shui crystals & tibetan bowls. Alternative therapies: personalised weight control coaching, massages, craneosacral therapy, metamorfic technic, beauty treatment AgeLoc. C/ Carretera 1, Nerja. Tel: 952 523 503

HEATING wRedwell® – the leading brand in Infrared Heating Systems. White panels and designs like mirrors, pictures, glass etc. Low consumption, low running time due to partial storage material inside. Prevents damp. Contact/showroom: Avda. El Faro, Bl. 75, bajo 9, Torrox Costa, call 952 539 742,,

wChs Cooling and heating solutions. Solar Heating and swimming pool heat pumps. Also air conditioning servicing and installations. Call: 655 791 167 or email: wInfrasol Infrared heating We are suppliers of infra-red heating systems for your home or Business, Stops mould. Reduces Condensation. Cheap to run. Contact us on 951258010 / 635445279. Try before you buy. Email:

HOLIDAY LETS wVillas to Let Privately owned luxury villas to let. 627820669 958364016

HORSE RIDING/TOURS whorse Riding Finca Don Carmelo, Periana. Guided horseback rides into the sierras, through olive and orange groves and down to lake Viñuela. Well behaved horses, all levels. Call 652200702 wPony Riding, for children. Main road Torrox-Competa between km13&14. The Pony Man Call:626 836 736

HOUSE CLEARANCES wCarousel second hand Furniture, Vinuela Pueblo (Under Cajamar Bank), access via steps at side of bank, or slip road behind bank, 630 211 907 wCash paid. For House and Garage Clearance. Best prices. Get quote. All items considered. Contact Ernie or Martin 616 812 765 / 690 854 154

HYPNOTHERAPY & NLP wMarion Dias Bsc (honours) Clinical Hypnosis and trainer NLP & Hypnosis. Help with Anxiety, Depression, Phobia, Stop smoking, self-confidence IBS, Public speaking as well as one day workshops for stop smoking, and self-healing, in NERJA. E-mail:

INSURANCE wInsurance Essential Cover SL provide all types of insurance for your personal and business needs - Over 15 years’ experience in UK and Spain. Call Gaynor on 951 390 700 Email: or visit our website:

INTERNET SERVICES Fast and Reliable, no land line required, free installation in ALL areas, unlimited download, free telephone calls worldwide. Avenida La Pancha, Edificio San Andrés, local 1-3, Algarrobo Costa, 29750 Malaga, 951 239 888, email:, wRiosat:sL, High speed internet and telephone services for home, business, offices, hotels, bars and restaurants etc. SDSL & ADSL packages available. Call: 951 239 310 / 626 679 018. Email: Web: http//

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


The Sentinella Paginas INTERNET SERVICES (cont) wTooway Fast internet for everyone. SuperFast 18 MB Satellite Internet available anywhere. Tel: 667 440 632 Fast Reliable 3G Internet for Home & Away. Spain's largest national networks. All you need is reasonable mobile phone signal. Contract or PayGo Tel: 693 777 065

INTERNET TELEVISION (IPTV) wIPTV television No frills just like the good old days but up to date TV service. Tel: 951 390 567

INTERPRETERS wInterpreter - English/Spanish - based in Vélez-Málaga. English nationality, but fluent Spanish and extensive experience. Inexpensive hourly rates. Confidentiality guaranteed. Call Toni to discuss your requirements. 952557733 / 606010580 wTranslator/Interpreter service. For any situation where a Spanish speaker is required, eg: Town Hall, Hospital, NIE, Residencia, Social Security, ITV, reading and translating letters, written translations etc. Reasonable rates. Call Mariam on 633 637 774

IRONWORK wwrought Iron gates and bars made to order, also repairs, painting and onsite welding. Please call Steve for a quote 633 374 619

KARAOKE whire a kwizoke+ Entertainment system for 7 nights of entertainment. Go to fill in the fiorm on the ‘Contact Us’ page for a demo. Or email:

KENNELS AND CATTERIES wwagtails boarding kennels for cats and dogs. Dogs walked 3 times a day in 36,000 sq metres fenced land. Phone Val 655 579 792 or Richard 645 659 935 or wThe Dog house While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. Large play area, lots of country walks. Pet collection/del. service. Vet services on call. Gourmet meals if required. 'Only the best for your pal'. Ring: Phil 649 079 321 Comares/Benamargosa. Ex cat & dog airlines.UK. Recommended. Refs available. whome From home Dog Boarding at my 10,000m2 finca in Riogordo. No kennels just lots of excercise, fun and cuddles. Also within 15km daily home visits for dogs, cats, horses. Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail:

wseacrest kennels and Cattery in Nerja. Doggy Day Care – Long Term Boarding: Contact us at 95 252 1426 More than 15 years experience in caring for your pets.

KITCHENS w Matthew Dean Mobile: 644 406 259 email: References or viewings of previously completed works available.

LAUNDERETTE Bubbles Laundertte Calle Manuel Marin 1, Nerja. open 9am - 5pm Mon - Fri, 9am - 1pm Sat for all your laundry needs. Offering a free collection & delivery service for the nerja area. Call now on 665539256

LAWYERS wCarmen silvia, Solicitors Abogados, Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (very near Nota-ria Office). Free initial consultation, 952 967 004 Email:

MACHINE HIRE wsaxon sL JCB Digger Hire. New machine Good rates. Velez Malaga. Call: 678232253 or 662398372

MARKET GOODS wMr Clutter Wants your Goods, House and garage clearances, shops and bars - old stock, any item considered. Call David: 686 375 089 - or if preferred email a list to Cash available and efficient service, Now buying Antiques,Gold & Jewellery.

MASSAGE AND YOGA wEssere, personalised massage therapy and yoga therapy in Calle Colon, 6 Nerja. By appointment only 722 105 740 or - 13 years helping people all around the world.

MECHANICS wFully Qualified City & guilds Mechanic, Servicing, Camshaft drive belt and much more. ITVs and ITV work carried out. Call: 696 578 771 or email:

MEDICAL CENTRES wDr. Bernadette Veeger General Medicine 952 532 065, 617 913 196. Consultations by appointment and house visits. English, Español, Deutsch, Francais, Nederlands. Centro Mar y Salud, Paseo Marítimo, El Morche/Torrox Costa, wsimpleCare: a perfect way to access affordable private healthcare services at a fraction of the normal cost, specialist consultation from €24, annual membership €59., Tel 952532023, email


Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

The Sentinella Paginas METALWORK


wsteelwork, stainless steel, staircases, balustrades, gates, grills, repairings, etc. Call for a free quote 606 656 008 wMetalwork made to measure - Gates, Doors, Rejas. M.O.T. welding and on-site repairs. All areas. Also building work. All work guaranteed. We support the Axarquia Animal Rescue Charity. Andy: 952 517 502 or 676 719 066

wstockton Plastering and Damp services Time served plasterer, 30 years experience in all aspects of plastering and damp proofing. Insurance approved and fully legal. Call: 648 243 656 for a no obligation quotation or visit “The Master Plasterer� 20+ yrs Exp. Plaster and Rendering, coving, wall stitching and nylon matting specialist. Tel Darren 693 712 475

MOBILITY PRODUCTS wBlue Badge Mobility.s.L Hire & Sales of Mobility Scooters, Wheelchairs, Bathroom aids, Toilet Aids, Stair Lifts, Long term rentals, Best prices on the Costa. Quality Service. Contact Gary Or Sara 952967015 /635445279

MOTORCYCLE REPAIRS wRods motorcycles. Mobile motorcycle service and repairs. From scooters to superbikes. All makes and models. Factory trained technician. Contact 633 287 190.

NURSERY EQUIPMENT wNursery Needs An established, quality nursery hire service for when babies & small children come to visit. All orders come with a free toy for the duration of the hire, please phone Dawn on 627 931 360 wkiddies Cots and Things to hire. In Spanish Management (next to the Farmacia) Vinuela Tel: 666 135 516

OPTICIANS wheiko by heiko, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar 952 967 923

PAPERWORK wTranslator/interpreter. Problem solving, document translation, interpreting at medical appointments, meetings with lawyers, builders, staff in banks, Town Halls, Guardia Civil and Police Stations..., obtaining/ renewing NIE, car and driving licence paperwork, everything you may need help with, even getting a licence for rowing on a lake! Call: Sara Bright on 658 501 610 - 951 167 094

PET COURIERS wPet Taxi- UK, France & Spain Delivered door to door. Call: 667 235 205

PHYSIOTHERAPY wsanne Mortensen sibree-Paul, BSc (Hons), MCSP, Spanish registered, Col no 2066. El Morche/Torrox Costa. Experienced UK trained physiotherapist offering post-operative rehabilitation andtreatment of general musculo-skeletal conditions. Also Master's in Pelvic Floor Dysfunctions, male and female. 626 152 756

PLUMBERS wJust Plumbing. Just a quick and reliable plumbing service. Just a reasonably priced local business. Just polite, prompt and tidy. Just phone Dave on 689 647 849. Discounts in Riogordo, Colmenar, Comares. wAndy Mann Uk Corgi-registered Domestic Water and Gas services. All areas covered. Combi boiler technician. Emergency Breakdowns Tel: 633 875 588 Email: wClima madrid, sale of materials, installations and repairs, air con, plumbing, solar panels, pools, heating, Ind, Punto Limpio, Nave 3-6, Nerja, 649 318 333, wgeneral plumbing and repairs, solar energy and air conditioning and sale of materials, installation and exhibition of baths. quote without commitment, paint work, reforms in general. Torrox Costa. Tel.: 952530121 Mobile : 675 837 255 e-mail : website :

PORTRAITS wPortraits commission in graphite, oil or pastel. View past commissions plus original oil paintings of local harbour/urban scenes ( Call Brian 645406804

PRINTER INK CARTRIDGES wInk Cartridges for all makes of Printers. Original or Compatible. Tuesdays: Jardines del Trapiche Market. Fridays: Chiringuito Antonio Market, Puente don Manuel or call for free delivery 627 242 977 email:

PROPERTY RENTALS wBuy A home spain/Rent A home spain, C/ Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: Website: wAnubi Estate Agents specialising in long term property rentals, C/Antonio Millon 6, Nerja, 952 526 230, 609 930 662,,

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


The Sentinella Paginas REMOVALS


wMan with A Van, 7.5 tonne capacity, Ikea collections and fitting long and short haul, also roofing and decorating services. Call Steve 633 337 619 Email: wTransportation to Uk to spain to Uk. Whole van loads or single items. Good rates. Regular trips. Also local removals. Call Graham: 620 353 594

wDel Prado & Partners, specialists in many areas of Spanish Law. Call: 952 52 72 74 / 952 52 17 47

RENT A CAR wRent a Car Estrella Rent Delivery and collection at Malaga airport or in your location. Automatic cars. Unlimited kilometers, full insurance, VAT and additional driver included. - 952 511 209

RESTAURANTS wTaj Mahal (Torre del Mar) Avenida Andalucia,Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053 wTaj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, Venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 / 667 934 731 wTaj Mahal (Torrox Costa) Ctra Vacional - 340 next to Post Office. 952 534 972 / 634 051 635 wRestaurant Caribe, Bloque 7, Local 13, Costa del Oro, Torrox Costa. Tlf: 952 530 831 wCasa de Rosa El Peñoncillo, Torrox Costa. Opening hours - 9.30am - Close Kitchen open all day (Closed Mondays) To reserve call: 952 96 76 55

STORAGE/PARKING wCaravans/boats storage + general storage. 24hr security, best rates. Caravan storage from under 1€ a day. Long term discounts also available. Almayate Costa N340. Tel: 680 180 468

SWIMMING POOLS wAquamarine Pools - Maintenance, Technical Service, Installations, Repairs, Diagnostics & Consultations. Email: Tel: 600 811 355

T-SHIRT PRINTING wTees & Polos Embroided & printed, TShirts & Polo Shirts. Great prices. Free design Call: 664 210 468 Email:

VETS wDr. Pet, the Vet of your pets. Molre than 30 years experience. Vaccinations, surgery, home calls and all advise in order to keep your pets healthy and happy. Speaking English, Dutch and Spanish. 646 357 637 Office: Pasaje Santa Margarita, Torre del Mar.



wTotal satellite Installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266. wsky Costa Certified aerial/satellite installer. For all your satellite needs. Call for a free no obligation quote: 667 440 632 or email: wsky shop Torre del Mar. Call: 667 235 205 or 952 541 147 wsat. Co. BBC & ITV for free & Sky Digital, dishes, alignments, installations. We also sell HD TVs. Call Tom 7 days a week for service. 657 484 853. All equipment delivered, installed & guaranteed for 2 years. Free demos every Sat. 2pm wTechno-Vision satellite TV, Centro Comercial El Zoco, Nerja. Tel: 952 520 946 / 657 066 782 & 658 511 811. Visit our online shop at Email:

wspanglish webs, Web designs, Database Programmes, Hosting, Domains, Real Estate Sites, English – Spanish Translation. All at realistic prices. Call Rachel: 951 708 454 or 691 660 187 Website: Email:

SECURITY wPERFECT Alarm s.L., Caleta de Velez. High quality security systems, like video surveillance, alarm systems, perimetric protection systems, home automation. Worldwide surveillance of your property. If requested, we are licensed to connect to a monitoring station. We speak English and German. Call Mr. Martin on 608 517 661

WINDOWS & DOORS w Matthew Dean Mobile: 644 406 259 email: References or viewings of previously completed works available.

WINDOW TINTING wMobile service itv legal Solar reflective tint for glass curtains, balconies, yachts stop fading, heat ,glare, save money on cooling make living in the sun comfortable. 958 496 571-644 546 176

WOODWORK wsunshine woodwork and Building services. Woodwork, building, plastering, bricklaying etc. Free quotation, no obligation. Call: 606 510 479.

Avda. Andalucia, 125-A, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 601 / 649 123 068

Torre del Mar

Ref.: 2831

Reduced by 39,000€ Fantastic flat (2 beds,bath / 65m2) in frontline beach with magnificent sea views, close to downtown, west facing, fully renovated, furnished, fitted kitchen, fitted wardrobes, double glazing, balcony, pool

Price: 160,000€ Torre del Mar

Long Term Rental

Ref.: LT110

Beautiful duplex Penthouse, 2 beds, 2 en-suite bathooms, divided into two floors totalling 130m2. The first floor has two terraces of 20m2 each, living room, kitchen and one bedroom, all this equipped with top quality materials. The second floor has another very bright terrace 75m2, plus solar panels for domestic use. Parking place with storage room is included in the price. Community Pool

Price: 750€ per month URgENTLY looking for properties for sale


FP0862 A modern, three bedroom, 146m2 villa built in a rustic style with heated 8m x 4m pool and 5 person Jacuzzi enjoying tremendous views near the village of Almachar




A bright, modern, two bedroom, top floor apartment with large roof terrace and sea views on the edge of this popular coastal town REDUCED


PUEBLO ROCIO, NERJA FP0921 A one bedroom apartment in this popular area close to the town with terrace overlooking the communal pool and gardens

ONLY 80,000€

Calle Dr Fleming, 1 Nerja. 29780 Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306 / 606 087 362

The Sentinella Axarquia March 2014  

The Little Mag that fits in your bag for Info on the go!

The Sentinella Axarquia March 2014  

The Little Mag that fits in your bag for Info on the go!