Page 1

-----The Axarquia Sentinella Edition

No 85 September 11 Opticians

952 547 601 / 952 965 724 email:


the British store & more

95 25 19 780

Tel: 952 96 79 23 Torre del Mar Tel: 952 52 83 95 Nerja See page 89

The little mag that fits in your bag for ‘info on the go’

Rent a Home Spain Buy a Home Spain La Viñuela

For Rent

Ref: R2 - 160 Exclusive 2 Bed Bungalow. Large living

El Capistrano: Nerja

Apartment. Excellently

room/diner, modern kitchen, A/C, log burner

furnished, on ground floor with terrace & garden,

fire, shared pool, private, peaceful, great location & views

For Rent 400¤ per month Puente Don Manuel

For Rent Ref: R3 - 184 New 3 Bed 2 Bath

Apartment. 119m² & 19m² terrace, large living room, f/f kitchen, lovely pool, great views, For Rent 550¤ per month exclusive gated complex Near El Trapiche

For Sale

For Sale 315,000¤

La Viñuela Village

For Sale 165,000¤

Ref: S4 - 061

Spacious 4 Bed 3 Bath Villa inc. 1 bed 1 bath guest house (178m² built, 5,000m² plot) lovely lounge, f/f modern kitchen, 2 bedrooms have dressing rooms, outdoor bar, kitchen, BBQ, summerhouse, big pool, fantastic terraces & gardens, excellent access

For Sale

Ref: R1 - 078 For Rent Delightful 1 Bed 1 Bath

communal pool, gardens & restaurant

For Rent 300¤ per month Near Lake Viñuela

For Sale 385,000¤ Puente don Manuel

For Sale 249,000¤

For Sale S3 - 139 Fantastic Lifestyle Opportunity. 2 successful retail businesses (boutique & salon) & a family home (2/3 beds, 2 baths, lovely lounge & kitchen, pool, terraces & mature gardens) - in one property For Sale

Ref: S3 - 138

Beautiful villa (176m² built, 512m² plot) 3 beds, 2 baths, lovely living area open to kitchen with Rangemaster double oven, breakfast bar, 2 gated driveways, 8 x 4 pool, lots of terraces & mature gardens, great views, 300m from shops & bars

Ref: S2 - 070

Charming 2 Bed house on edge of village (97m² built, 1,420m² plot) rustic yet modern, large entrance hall, spacious lounge with wood-burner fire, dining area, large f/f kitchen, terraces & courtyard, lovely views, good location

We are collaborating with A Place in the Sun and will be exhibiting at the NEC in Birmingham from 30th Sept to 2nd Oct and advertising in their magazine. If you want us to feature your home specifically and massively increase the opportunity of selling it call us NOw! / We have email: serious investors with Avda. Andalucia, 135, Torre del Mar money ready to buy Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414 NOW!

Do you have a quality property to sell?

(You’ll find us just round the corner from the Thursday market at the roundabout)

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

m Fro Ed... the

CONtaCt Us:


Editor: keidi - 610 976 284 Email:

In life sometimes it’s important to step outside our comfort zone – to do things we wouldn’t normally do, go places we wouldn’t normally go, and generally experience a different reality than what we are used to.

sales: kami - 664 210 468 Distribution/Collections: tony - 664 689 138

Taking this advice on board, I’m about to go camping for the first time! The wilderness experience in the beautiful mountains of Idaho lasts not just for a couple of days, or even five days, but for ten days…! And there’s no campsite so I’ll have to make do without the luxury of toilets and showers.

Follow us on twitter @the_sentinella or @keidi_keating

There’s white water rafting, rope work, mountain climbing, canoeing and lots of other activities which I’ve never experienced before. There’s even bears apparently, but I’m trying not to think about that right now!

Deposito Legal Ma-1435-2005

In addition to all that I’ve never flown on my own beyond to and fro from the UK, and an odd flight from Malaga to other cities within Spain. Getting from Malaga to Idaho involves three flights, three overnight stays in hotels (I fancied a bit of pre-trip luxury) and a good few minicab or shuttle bus rides. So you may wonder how I am feeling about this upcoming trip, which is quite a long way outside of my current comfort zone. Well I feel naturally nervous, slightly anxious… but I also feel empowered, excited and as if I’m on the brink of a new beginning. The thought of waking up everyday in nature fills my heart with a warm tingly feeling, as does the idea of getting to know other likeminded souls in such an open setting.


No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. So there!

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest in peace. (Born; 1960 Died; 2004)

But above all I’m looking forward to the creativeness that will accompany the trip. I’ll be able to sit overlooking a babbling stream with my notepad open, scribbling down whatever


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From The Ed (cont)

words come. I’ll be living on the edge of inspiration, waiting to see what ideas the universe throws my way. What’s even better is that I can record all my experiences and feelings and emotions around the trip, while living them all at the same time. As humans it’s not uncommon to stick to what we know, usually only living the particular experiences, thoughts, and feelings with which we are familiar. But what if we changed all that? What if we woke up one day with the full intention to do something completely different to the norm? My advice to you is to just do it. After all, if you keep on doing what you’ve always done then you’ll keep on getting where you’ve always got…Instead simply look elsewhere, take action, and EXPAND YOUR WORLD! Ps. I’ll let you all know how the camping trip went in the October issue!

Keidi Keating

Editor (of the original little mag)!

the Laws of..................................Page 42 amazing insects...........................Page 54 Funny Pics....................................Page 77 Paparazzi......................................Page 80 Film review..................................Page 82 what’s New...................................Page 82 Useless Facts...............................Page 84 recipe...........................................Page 88 shares...........................................Page 93 reader’s writes............................Page 97 apologies......................................Page 98 what’s On...................................Page 104 information.................................Page 106 Jokes...........................................Page 108 Puzzles........................................Page 110 star signs...................................Page 112

Strange News

Extreme parking A Lithuanian politician has been filmed using an armoured vehicle to crush a car parked illegally in a cycle lane.

Arturas Zuokas, the eccentric mayor of Lithuania's capital, Vilnius, says in the clip: "That's what will happen if you park your car illegally." The apparent owner then arrives to see his wrecked Mercedes being towed away, reports the BBC.

"In the past few days, expensive cars have been illegally parked in almost this exact place - a Rolls-Royce and a Ferrari," Mayor Zuokas said. "What should the city do about drivers who think that they are above the law? It seems that a tank is the best solution."

The stunt was shot over the weekend for a popular Swedish TV series, 99 Things You Should Do Before You Die, and has been posted on YouTube. sooty strikes back Paul Daniels was taken to hospital with head injuries after being hit in the face by a pizza thrown by Sooty.

The 73-year-old magician was filming a scene for ITV's The Sooty Show when he was struck by the flying pizza, leaving him dazed.

Daniels suffered a black eye and was taken to hospital for treatment, The Sun reported.

The newspaper claimed the incident happened after Daniels complained that in a first take of the scene, the pizza had not been thrown hard enough. But as the puppet, operated by co-star Richard Cadell, hurled the Italian dish a second time, Daniels was injured.

Chris Davis, Daniels's agent, told the newspaper: "It damaged his eye. We had to go to hospital and cancelled a gig, but he's made a full recovery." Daniels, who was appearing on the show as a special guest alongside his wife and assistant Debbie McGee, 52, apparently insisted that producers use the take in which he was injured.

Menu del Dia - 6.50€

Monday - Friday 12pm - 4pm 3 courses (including vegetarian)

Help yourself Buffet - Sundays Adults - 9€ Children under 10 - 5€ 13.00 - 16.00

Includes various starters, mains, vegetarian dishes, rice and bread

Special Menu Monday to Saturday - 9.50€ Bhajee / Vegetable Pakora / Vegetable Samosa,

Pappadam, Onion

Prawn Puri & Chicken Tikka Chicken, Lamb, Prawn Vegetable - Vindaloo / Balti / Jalfrezi Tikka Masala / Korma / Dansak / Biryani / Chicken or Lamb Tikka Pilau Rice / Naan / Tea or Coffee

Avda Andalucia, Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar

Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053 Open: 12.00 - 16.00 18.00 - 24.00 everyday TAJ Mahal Restaurant

Sunday Roast of wine â‚Ź 8.50 Bookings recommended

All Day English Breakfasts, Full Menu Open from 10am till late every day Karaoke every Saturday night

Quiz Night every Thursday from 8:30pm with cash prizes APARIV Charity Quiz last Friday of every month

C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 544 362


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Adventure & Beauty On Your Doorstep With Team Xtreme

Exploring nature from a whole new perspective - Canyoning in Rio Verde Andrew Forbes

Ever seen those pictures of crystal clear rivers and deep, inviting pools, surrounded by pristine nature, and wondered where they are? Well, these scenes are on our very doorstep and access is easier than you might think. With the intense summer temperatures of August, take an adventurous dip into those clear, cool waters with a canyoning trip to Rio Verde.

Rio Verde, the stunning river that borders Malaga and Granada provinces is the perfect playground for those who love exploring na-

ture; and with canyoning you can see the region’s landscape from a whole new perspective.

Canyoning is an adventure activity where you can explore w a t e r gorges, a wearing suit, wet strong shoes and a safety helmet. Andalucía has some of Europe’s most spectacular gorges and canyons, offering stunning waterfalls, deep natural pools and breathtaking scenery. The best way to do this is as part of a group, organised by a professional activity firm. Local tourist offices will give names of licensed firms that have access to the pristine waters of the Rio Verde. For example, Team Xtreme gives you unrivalled access to the river, and their professional, fully insured guides will teach you new skills, including exhilarating and highly enjoyable abseils, climbs, jumps and of course some swimming! You don’t need to be an expert, as there are routes especially designed for beginners – you just need a strong sense of adventure and fun! “Make exploring nature an adventure!” suggests Babak Alimoradian, the energetic and charismatic owner of Team Xtreme, one of Spain’s new breed of adventure activity companies. “We’re so lucky living here in Andalucía; we have some of the finest scenery and adventure locations right here.” He continues, “One of our most popular activities we offer here is canyoning, as it is not too physically demanding and we can choose routes that match clients’ abilities – and there are lots of opportunities to take a break and relax.”

So why not take a break from just a normal hike in the mountains and take advantage of some real active relaxation with one of Team Xtreme’s professionally designed canyon routes? You’ll get provided with all the equipment you need and a certified guide. “You’re guaranteed to have a great time!” confirms Babak. team Xtreme tel: 952 768 349 Mon - Fri: 09.00 - 19.00 or mobile: 676 022 237 Email: web:


TAJ MAHAL Traditional Indian Tandoori Restaurant Torrox Costa

9.95 € Eat as MUCh as yOU LikE


We offer an´all you can eat’ menu (as many starters, main courses & desserts as you want) all freshly cooked to order. You stay seated at your table as everything is served to you in courses. Open every day - 12.00 - 16.00 / 18.00 - 24.00 Closed tuesday Lunch Ctra Nacional - 340 (Next to Post Office) torrox Costa

tel: 95 253 4972 / 634 051 535

THE HAIR & BEAUTY STUDIO Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel (along from Morenos Bar)

“Marina” is our head technician. She holds numerous diplomas

for chemical straightening, advanced colouring, retail cutting & perming, all obtained in Mayfair, London at the Goldwell Academy. “Danni” is a Toni & Guy Style Director and has managed their salons in Dubai and Amsterdam Marina & Danni both hold NVQ level 3 Advanced Hairdressing qualification “Tony” a traditional barber with 50 years experience, who will now be here ALL DAY EVERY MONDAY - “JUST WALK IN” Please telephone or pop in for a FREE CONSULTATION

Beauty Treatments

Pedicures w Manicures w Collagen Facials w Hopi Ear Candles w Acrylic & Gel Nail Extensions w Teeth Whitening w Eyelash Perming w Aromatherapy Massage w Semi Permanent Makeup w Reiki w Waxing w Self Tan Treatment w Reflexology and Lots More!!

Advanced Cosmetic Procedures & Electrolysis For the treatment of Moles, Thread veins, Milia, Skin tags, Blood spots, Warts, Veruccas and Age spots FREE CONSULTATION

Acrylic and Gel Nail Extensions Special offer - Full set 35€ Infill from 20€ Acrylic colours and Nail Art also available

Call: 951 232 852 Mobile: 693 740 575 Gift Vouchers Available

THE HAIR & BEAUTY STUDIO Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel

Qualified Sports & Remedial Therapist. (along from Morenos Bar)

(BSC Hons; RSA) Specialising in soft tissue massage and manipulation inc. treatments for sciatica, back problems, tension headaches, muscle injuries as well as relaxing & lymphatic massage.

Shiatsu Massage

For the relief of stiff joints, stress, neck & shoulder discomfort Now available here on Saturdays only.

Thermal Imaging for Breast & Body

Body Screening for early detection and Nutritional advice with Janet Van Dam. Non Invasive, Pain Free, Radiation Free & Reliable. Here every Monday by appointment only.

Vibro Trim - The easy way to workout

10 minutes on Vibro Trim = 1 hour in the gym *Anti-aging *Reduce cellulite *Increase flexibility *Build muscle tone *Firm fat *Lose weight *Promote circulation *Improve varicose veins *Increases bone density *Minimises lower back pain

1 x 10 min session = 4€

Course of 10 sessions = 30€

Oxford Skin Clinics

Introducing “Chantel” to our team, bringing a brand new technique that’s sweeping the UK - Lipo by Laser By targeting adipocyte cells (fat cells), the process offers an effective and safe solution to fat reduction without surgery, the pain or the recovery time.

Call: 951 232 852 Mobile: 693 740 575 Facebook - The Hair and Beauty Studio, Lake Viñuela


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From the world of food...

Funny Food Quotes

Ham and Eggs - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli. Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

Once, during prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any

aged pepper.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. McDonalds announced it’s considering a more humane way of slaughtering its animals. You know they fatten them up and then kill them. You know the same thing they do to their customers, isn’t it?

sic u ve M


Liv e

Live at “Oasis” -

Saturday 3rd September - ‘Roadhouse’ great night - guaranteed! Saturday 10th September ‘Siesta Blues Band’ proper blues - fantastic!

Saturday 17th September ‘Smoking House’

Mu sic

Forthcoming events

Sunday 25th September - from 4pm Hairdressing Show huge discounts and offers on all hairdos models required

Saturday 1st October End of season party with ‘Guiri’

the real deal with authentic “rock n roll”

the season’s finale with the great band Guiri & to celebrate Leila’s (40) and Miguel’s (50) birthdays!

celtic, fusion, reggae, rock - always gets the crowd dancing!!

A selection of natural juices, exciting cocktails, smoothies & milkshakes all made with the freshest mangoes, pineapples, oranges, apples and peaches

Saturday 24th September - ‘Radio Gee’

Camino Venta Baja, Puente don Manuel Call Leila for more information: 622 105 809 Email:




Monday - Thursday Day & Night (except Monday lunch) Poppadam & Pickles Selection of starters: vegetable samosa or pakora or onion bhaji or Prawn puri or Chicken tikka Main course: chicken, lamb, prawn or vegatable: Korma, Madras, Vindaloo, Balti, Jalfrezy, Rogan Josh, Tikka Masala, Karahi, Biriyani or Chicken or Lamb Tikka Accompaniments: Plain or Pilau rice. Plain, Garlic, Cheese or Onion Nan Bread or Chapati FrEE Pappadam with Mango Chutney & Pickle tray with all meals

Menu del Dia Mon-Fri 12pm - 4pm 3 courses €5.95 with veg. curry €6.95 with meat/prawn curry

takeaways available Free Pappadam & pickle with takeaways

Opening hours 12pm - 4pm and 6pm - 12am every day (closed Monday lunch) Puente don Manuel (Chiringuito antonio) tel: 952 510 886 Mob: 667 934 731

Chiringuito Carlos (formerly Chiringuito Antonio) Camino Venta Baja, Puente don Manuel w Beautiful terrace with fantastic views w Barbeque every day w Barbequed meats, fresh fish & vegetarian options w Indoor salon with fireplace w Children’s park w Large car park

Everyday All day - Fresh Sardine skewers!!! NEW MENU - Come and try! Every Sunday - Roast Dinner - 3 courses just 10.95€ (with an English cook, this is the talk of the town) Every first Saturday of the month Varied dinner menu with live music (excellent atmosphere)

Contacts: Carlos 679 739 681 or Leila 622 105 809


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Free Property Legal Review Open Day

De Cotta

De Cotta Law, (De Cotta, McKenna y Santafé S.L.) with offices in Nerja, Coín, Mijas-Costa and the Canary Islands is launching a series of Autumn Open Days. These Open Days will offer all readers unprecedented, free access to the legal expertise of the De Cotta Law team. Free, bookable consultations will be available at each office during these special open days, where readers can discuss their legal queries and request reviews of their property deeds and wills. Dates will be available in October and will be announced shortly; so to register your interest, please contact De Cotta Law on: or call the Nerja office on 952 527 014 or the MijasCosta office on 952 931 781.

In related news, De Cotta Law is opening a new office in Coín, in purpose built premises In Sierra Chica, opposite its original local in the La Trocha shopping centre. The new of-

fice will be open in October, and during September private consultations are available throughout the region by appointment. Jon Sutton - Coin office, De Cotta Law

Sandra Wrighton - Nerja office - De Cotta Law

ANDALUCIA HOME SERVICES All round no nonsense property services based near Viñuela. We offer a reliable service you can trust with no gimmicks or fancy jargon.

VERY COMPETITIVE RATES!! We Offer: Pool cleaning & servicing Gardens kept tidy Repairs Changeovers On site problem solving Security checks


Pool cleaning from 60€ per month Changeovers from 30€

For a quote for any other work please contact us via phone or e-mail Enjoy peace of mind knowing that your home in the sun is in safe hands Contact us on 00 34 634 408 838 or e-mail

“OSTEOPATHY for the whole family”

OstEOPath Clementine Duplan

Bsc (hons) Ost (Ukqualified)

"Gentle and specific treatment of the whole body, also for children and pregnant mums"

Member of the General Osteopathic Council (English register) and the Spanish Osteopathic register

torre del Mar, torrox & Malaga areas

622 078 432



Academia de Idiomas Language School ENGLISH FRENCH GERMAN


SPANISH Join Now! New & Follow-up language classes started!

Located in Puente Don Manuel at the Periana Crossing

MoreEmail: INFO: Tel.: 633 780 687

Reflections Unisex Salon Cut and Blow dry 15€ Tint cut and Blow dry 32€ Gent's shampoo and cut 12€ Blow dry 10€

Find us on Facebook for Price list and hairstyle ideas

To make an appointment call Angela or Marilo on:

615 266 712 Velez Malaga

Legal Services

English Legal Advisor & Experienced Lawyer Specialising In:

PProperty Legalisations PCatastro & Border Corrections PAddition of Swimming Pools or

Extensions to your Title Deed

PProperties without Deeds PSale /Purchase Conveyancing PCourt Cases

A Quick, Professional & Impartial Service Estimates Given Call for a FREE consultation & get your property papers checked out. Don´t lose a sale due to paperwork inconsistencies

Solutions 4 U, Cómpeta Office Tel: 952 55 38 07 or 660 51 01 34 Email:


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Random Jokes :)

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing. ---------An old man goes into a chemist to buy some Viagra. 'Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?' 'I can cut them for you' said the chemist 'but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection.' 'I am 96' said the old man. 'I don't want an erection. I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't pee on my slippers.' ---------A couple was going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, but just needed to put the dog out when the taxi arrives. However as the couple walked out of the house, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty, explains to the taxi driver: 'He's just going upstairs to say good-night to my mother.'

Bar Triana Lisa and Richard welcome you to

Ctr Benamargosa 9, Triana, 29718

Tel Lisa: 618 373 316

English Breakfast, hot and cold snacks and sandwiches served 9am – 4pm daily (closed Mondays) Outside Terrace

Quiz night every Tuesday 8pm (food available 7pm – 9pm)

Friday 30th September Beer battered Cod or Pie, chips and mushy peas 5.50€

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long' he says. 'Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her arse downstairs and tossed her in the back yard! She better not s*** in the vegetable garden again!' The silence in the cab was deafening. ---------Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?' Eight,' the boy replied. The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?' The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one.'

SAXON S.L JCB Digger Hire Velez-Malaga Area SERVICES


662 39 83 72 / 678 23 22 53 Email:


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Linea Directa

Línea Directa aseguradora is the market leader in the sale of insurance for foreign residents in spain. since 1998 it has offered its customer services in English and german, which include handling claims, selling policies or road assistance, among many others. Francisco Valencia, Corporate governance Director, introduces us to a new service: fine management.

Francisco Valencia: “For Línea Directa, Expatriates form an essential part of our strategy”

Línea Directa was the first spanish insurer to offer its services in English and german. why this commitment to Expatriates? For Línea Directa, Expatriates form an essential part of our strategy. Since we set up Línea Directa, in 1995, we have forged close links to them, due to the fact that our company model was imported directly from England, and as a result offering services specifically designed for them was something quite natural. We currently have a portfolio of over 1.85 million policyholders, 64,000 of whom are foreign customers. One of the latest services offered to Expatriates is fine management. what does it consist of and what advantages does it have? Our service offers the foreign customer advice on traffic fines in his or her own language, including notification of the official bulletins, a benefit specifically designed for Expatriates. In Spain, when the person receiving the fine is not at home, he or she is considered to have been notified of the fine after it has been published in the Official Bulletin of the province where he or she resides, thereby reducing or even eliminating any chance of defence for someone who spends many months of the year abroad. what does this service cover and what other benefits does it include? Apart from the benefit that it can be used by any driver over 26 years of age, the cover also includes a payment of 500 euros to finance a road safety re-education course if the driven licence has been withdrawn. Once again Línea Directa shows its commitment to its foreign customers residing in spain, offering them the best services and cover at the best price. you can find out more about all the benefits available at or by calling 902 123 104.


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Bad Day?

Things got ya down? Well then, consider these...

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11am all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits Just when the clock struck 11:00, Fernando Rodriguez, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner. Still having a bad day?

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after

the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00 At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both. Still think you are having a Bad Day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she ran outside and grabbed a handy plank of wood and smacked him with it, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his iPod. Now something to brighten your day!!

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits!!!!


F-Gas 2079 Registered

You wouldn’t choose a non-qualified engineer to install your gas products in the UK … so why would you here? All engineers required to handle HFC refrigerants must hold the new European F-Gas qualification from 4th July 2011

Units fitted from 439€

Esola Systems

Best Prices Guaranteed Domestic and Commercial Air Conditioning (Heating and Cooling) Installations

Tel: 616 119 007 / 952 550 323

New tyres fitted from 35€ (155/80R 13)

Free Brake Check

Starter motors & alternators repaired

Service with oil & filter from

45€ inc. IVA

Air-con re-charge

41€ inc. IVA

(cheaper than recon/new)

Pro Neumaticos


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Solutions 4 U is not just an estate agent, but a company specialising in the legal aspects that surround property purchase and sale.

Solutions 4 U

Buy with confidence - Unfortunately many property deeds have irregularities and it is our speciality to eradicate them, whether it’s because you are selling and don't want complications at completion, or want to buy with a sense of complete confidence. When we list a property for sale, we guarantee to check all the paperwork, identifying issues such as un-registered property extensions and swimming pools. If you are a buyer, we will not just tell you it has a title deed, but find out whether the description on the deed corresponds with the actual existing property. Solutions 4 U and its associate lawyer first look at correcting any inconsistencies on behalf of the vendor, and secondly, give our buyers the assurance that the property they buy is fully up to date, registered on the title deed, the Land Registry records and with the Catastro. If you become serious about one of our homes, then we will have these certificates to show you. We can also advise on planning issues. Clarifying this beforehand

saves endless difficulties and unnecessary heartache later on.

have peace of mind - For those who already own a property, we offer a FREE consultation. Bring along a copy of your title deed and rates (IBI) certificate and we will carry out the necessary searches to establish whether all your property is registered in your name, check the m2 of both the property and the land, and that the boundaries are correct. This takes approximately 10 days, and if inconsistencies are found, we will explain what needs to be done and give you a written estimate of the cost. Once the work has been completed, you’ll be shown where the corrections have been made, so you can be happy in the knowledge that all your property is fully registered in your name in all three necessary departments.

and we are a real estate agency - Solutions 4 U has a number of highly desirable properties for sale exclusively with us that you won’t find anywhere else, with prices to suit the most ardent bargain hunter. We also cover all legal aspects, satisfying even the most cautious. See main advert on page 15


Want to see the latest in TV Technology?


Stunning High Definition TV - For FREE? No Card, No Subscription, No Contract! Also available: Spanish Digital TV, FreeSat + HD, Sky Plus HD, other Language Systems Full range of Digital HD TV Sets, delivered and installed for free. Installations, Dishes, Alignments, Cards, Multi-Room etc. Appointments available in all areas 7 days a week Call us early for same day service!! For a FREE - No Obligation - Home Demonstration Call: 657 484 853 Or email: ALL WORK FULLY GUARANTEED

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Cool Bandanas

are a personal cooling product that will pull the heat out of your system, cool your body off and make your body and mind work more efficiently....and help keep you cool all day.

10.95€ each or 2 for 20€

Come and see these at the following markets; Trapiche on Tuesdays & Viñuela on Fridays or call Tony on: 664 689 138 for free delivery

st Climate In Europe CardioDance:


Learn to Salsa, Cha Cha, Swing, Hustle. Dance Classes: Also includeS Rumba, Sal Cha and Choreographed Routines Keep Fit Classes with or wITHoUT weights. Your Heart, Your Life, Your Choice. Almeria TO Estepona Call HuGh GRANT 606 086300


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a t s o C ToSererpoagxes 26 - 37

here! There is so much going on at tabla rock Cafe. LIVE MUSIC: The first and last Friday in September and every Saturday night. Enjoy a ta s o C x Sunday bbq with semi acoustic live music on Torro our fabulous terrace. Aerobics, Pilates and CirSeptember at Caribe, we are starting a bridge cuit classes every week plus starting in Sepclub, just social bridge using chicago rules, so tember will be flamenco classes and if you want to play for fun and the chance of Zumbalates!! Giant TV screen, quiz night & winning a free bottle of house wine, email us at karaoke nights, pool & electronic darts, large and put ‘bridge at Caribe’ in the heading and we will send you full details. We also have real homemade cakes. As many of you now know we really do make our own cakes and we have now added a delicious Chocolate and Orange cake along with our Carrot Cake and of course our original Dutch Apple Crumble pie, so if you would like some real homemade cake, do drop in and try a slice. out it

all ab - read

yo Jive Modern Jive Dance Classes are held every Tuesday night at El Ancla del Cirilo, a fabulous location right on the beach on Calle Penoncillo N340 between Torrox Costa and Nerja. Classes start at 8.30pm and beginners are always welcome, its easy, its fun and a great way to meet new people. You don't need a partner; come by yourself or bring a friend. Follow us on Facebook "YO JIVE TORROX" Email or call on 651 564 046 for more information or just turn up on a Tuesday night.

roof terrace with sunlounger plus a great food menu. Keep up to date with our facebook page "Tabla Rock Torrox Park"

CardioDance: Learn to salsa, cha cha, swing and hustle to an aerobic workout. Dance classes also held in all these, plus rumba, sal cha and choreographed routines. 606 086300


russells British store has a great stock of favourite British products. We have a frozen foods section and also stock cleaning products, toiletries and even pet food. Each month we have special offers in store, so call in to see our September offers. Don't forget we have a wide range of cards for all occasions. redhouse signmakers. Suppliers and designers of all types of signs - shops, pavement boards, estate agency ‘for sale’ boards, vehicle advertising, windows, banner stands and more. New telephone number: 675 091 982. Email Website:

as you may think... we are now taking Xmas bookings, please call for details. Join us at Los amigos in September, Karaoke every Friday night from 9pm, Live Music on a Saturday night and September’s line up is Saturday 3rd Andy Time, 10th Party Night with Rockin' Robin and 24th Alan Miles. Chill Out Jam Session on Sundays from 9pm with Dr Dave or the Siesta Blues Band. Quiz nights on Wednesday 7th and 21st and Live Music with Katie the English Rose on Wednesday 14th. Line Dancing starts again on Monday evenings from 7pm. For reputable buildings and contents insurance, car insurance, private medical insurance, pets insurance, funeral plans and more, contact Lewis insurance services. Cool Bandanas are a personal cooling product that will pull the heat out of your system, cool your body off and make your body and mind work more efficiently....and help keep you cool all day. Simply soak your Bandana in cold water for 25 to 30 minutes. Come and see these at the following markets; Trapiche on Tuesdays & Viñuela on Fridays or call 664 689 138. Just 10.95€ each or 2 for 20€

restaurante El Pino Come and enjoy Sunday Lunch at El Pino with our early bird option (reservations required) 3 courses 11€, buy one and get one half price. Friday nights are fish and chips night, buy two meals and get a free bottle of wine as well as entertainment with either our popular quiz with Hugo on 2nd, 16th and 30th September or live music on 9th and 23rd. We still have our 2 for 1 meals Monday to Thursday for only 6.95€ and it’s not as far away

Lads & Dads Barber shop with 20 yrs experience. Whether you prefer mobile or an appointment, both are catered for – or just pop in. Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts. If you would like to advertise on our Torrox feature pages from just 20€ a month which includes text, to promote your business further then call 664 210 468 or email:



C S      

CLINICA EUROPA English Dentist:


Dr. Michael Mannish B.D.S. (univ. of London)

General Medicine



Physiotherapy, Osteopherapy

648 203 157

Harley St. Dentist of 25 years

Take advantage of your free 2nd opinion before you start your treatment.

Acupuncture Aesthetic anti-ageing Medicine without surgery Special Treatment for Fibromyalgia and Stress -

Competitive prices

teeth whitening in 1 hour (call for more information)

Implant specialist

We Speak English, German & French Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08

PriVatE saLE Penthouse of 74m2 in Torrox Park, 2 bedrooms with built in wardrobes, living room, bathroom, fitted kitchen, underfloor heating, A/C, terrace of 15m2 with sea and mountain views, very low community fees, 2 swimming pools & tennis court. Completely furnished with high quality furniture.


NOW 137,000€ (negotiable) Tel: 644 424 320



Kennels & Cattery Fully Licensed Kennels

A real home from home for your pets looked after by a very nice bloke

Over 18 years experience Collection Service Long stays our speciality We also have CAS dogs & cats looking for a home tel: 951 254 134 660 167 902

Email: we are on the torrox - Competa road, 100m from Pavo real

Clinica Casa Blanca OSTEOPATHY

Clinic for:


Massage, Lymphatic drainage, Shiatsu, Reiki, Reflexology, Ear-Acupunture, Craniosacral Therapy Do you suffer from back problems, spinal misalignment, pain in neck or shoulders, joint discomfort, tightness in muscles, internal ailments, migraines, fibromyalgy or do you just want relaxation from stress? The Bowen Technique is gentle and works on the whole body for inflammation, illness and pain. The treatment is safe and appropriate for everyone, from newborn babies to the frail and elderly.

Forever living products: inc. Minerals and Aloe Vera Products etc. Also home visits Ask about gift vouchers

***Saturday 17th September come & celebrate our 3rd anniversary, discounts available***

Urb. Jardines del Mar, Blq C3, Torrox Costa (near garden Centre, 1km direction Nerja)


Tel: 952 967 628 or 659 374 673

The leading brand in Infrared Heating Heat up your home in a healthy and economical way!

Infrared Design Heating System: Pictures, Mirrors, Glass, Blackboards, Columns etc. -New additional product line of frameless white panels: More power for your money.

-All Redwell® heaters have a partial storage heater to keep running times lower.

10% discount with this advert

above: Picture heater abstract

Contact us or visit the exhibition at our shop: Redwell, Dipl.- Ing. Svend Scharler, Avda. El Faro, Bl. 75, bajo 9, Torrox Costa Phone: 952539742, mobile: 606423869, Email:,


Not just R

We specialise in Ribs, Wings, Steaks & Chicken Friday 16th September LIVE MUSIC NIGHT!!

QUIZ NIGHT Last Saturday in the month SUNDAYS - 3 course lunch

Bookings advisable Credit Cards taken torrox Costa - Block 88 (Next to tennis courts & auto 2000) tel: 95 253 2369 / 696 516 534 Closed Mondays

Sue & Carsten offer you a warm welcome

We have Danish OPEN SANDWICHES - ENGLISH HOME MADE PIES ITALIAN BAGUETTES with fillings of your choice. Taste our Roast Pork & Crackling with Red Cabbage on Ryebread or Sue’s Mexican Pie, or why not ask for Sands & C Special round homemade chips. Try also our DANISH PASTRIES - Custard or Raspberry and our new Pecan Nut & Cinnamon. Also fresh homemade LEMON CHEESECAKE with fresh oranges on top. New! Crabbies Alcoholic Ginger Beer - Delicious!! Jam session every Tuesday night at 9pm Wednesday 21st September - International quiz night starting at 8pm PRIZE Karaoke every Friday night at 9pm with “Rocking Martin the Muse”

Artist Michael will be available to draw your Caricature Tuesday and Friday nights Open from 11.30am to late 6 days a week

Tel: 952 967 734 Closed Thursdays

Find us on Paseo Maritimo, Torrox Costa At the end of Avda. El Faro, down the steps and we are on the right just before Flamenco Fusion

Find us on

Sky Sports

Sands & C

Casa Maria Jam Night - Mondays

(with hosts “Flip” & “Aqui te Partie”)


Happy Hour Mondays - Saturdays - 5.30pm - 7pm Sundays 12pm - 4pm

(1€ bottle, 2€ pint San Miguel, 1€ glass of wine) Sunday 11th September - BBQ with live music with “Johnny Hollywood” 4pm - 7pm followed by Karaoke Saturday 17th September - Live music with “Luxarda” Sunday 25th September - BBQ with live music 4pm - 7pm followed by Karaoke Sundays 4th & 18th September Karaoke from 6pm with Bjarne

Parties & Functions catered for Open 11am - Late 7 days a week Call: 667 954 901 or 664 259 968 Torrox Park (bar on the goat track)

rEF. 5033

CóMPEta tOwNhOUsE 100M2 rEF. 5170



tOrrOX tOwNhOUsE 80M2 rEF. 4862



PriCE 105,000€

CóMPEta FrigiLiaNa FiNCa 144M2 rEF. 5173 ViLLa 255M2

tOrrOX ViLLa 195M2

EXqUisitE PrOPErty:


PriCE 495,000€

rEF. 5171

CóMPEta ViLLa 220M2


PrOPErty OF thE MONth:

PriCE 285,000€

PriCE 220,000€


Cómpeta: Plaza almijara, 21 - 29754 Cómpeta - tel: (0034) 952 516 178 torrox: Calle Ortigosa, 7 - 29770 torrox - tel: (0034) 952 539 125

Cómpeta Office


Torrox Office


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New rules mean it will be easier and cheaper to travel abroad with pets. It will become cheaper and easier to travel abroad with pets when new rules are introduced at the start of next year.

The UK will harmonise its pet movement rules with the rest of the European Union from 1st January 2012, bringing the UK’s Pet Travel Scheme into line with the most recent science. The UK will maintain its high level of protection against animal diseases after the changes, which have the potential to save pet owners around £7 million in fees. Forcing pets to spend six months in quarantine, a practice dating from the 1800s, is no longer necessary because of vastly improved rabies vaccines and treatments.

All pets will still need to be vaccinated against rabies. Pets from the EU and listed non-EU countries such as the USA and Australia will no longer need a blood test and will only have to wait 21 days before they travel. Pets from unlisted non-EU countries such as India, Brazil

and South Africa will be able to enter the UK if they meet certain strict criteria to ensure they are protected against rabies, including a blood test and a three-month wait before they enter the UK. The changes will ensure the risk of rabies coming to the UK remains extremely low. It’s estimated that the new rules mean there would be one case of rabies in a pet in the UK once every 211 years, with the possibility of a person dying from rabies obtained from a pet once in every 21,000 years.

Tick treatment for pet animals returning to the UK will no longer be required. All pet owners travelling abroad with their animals should discuss with their vets the use of treatments, including those designed to control ticks as part of good animal health practice.

The UK, along with Ireland, Sweden and Malta, has an exemption from the standard EU pet travel rules. They are all harmonising their entry rules with the rest of the EU at the same time as the UK. For more information visit: ew-rules-pet-passports/

Traditional medicine alongside alternative therapies… the best healthcare for your pet!

Benajarafe N-340 Málaga-Almería, 164 29790, Benajarafe

Tel: 952 51 32 07

Cómpeta Avda. de la Constitución, 15 29754 Cómpeta

Tel: 952 55 38 50

24 Hour Emergencies : 617 001 723


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Tee Pee

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland.

1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. 2. Form a loose grip… 3. Keep your head down! 4. Avoid a quick back swing. 5. Stay out of the water. 6. Try not to hit anyone. 7. If you are taking too long, let others go ahead of you. 8. Don’t stand directly in front of others. 9. Quiet please… while others are preparing. 10. Don’t take extra strokes. Well done… now, flush the urinal, wash your hands and go outside, and tee off.


Funny Pic

How to tell if your feet stink

Use the pussy test!!

11 years experience on the Costa

Maintenance  Repairs Technical Service  Diagnostics Installations  Consultations Computerised analysis of water NOW AVAILABLE!! - Instant test for bacteria the only one on the Coast - Results in 20 mins Español - English - Francais - Nederlands

600 811 355

WANTED *Cars *Motorhomes *Plant Machinery *Bikes


Totally everything considered We collect scrap vehicles from campo or urbanisations

CASH BUYERS *Embargos No Problem

Rick: 653 477 306

Ref. SH647

Ref. SH623

Nice country house in Almayate bajo, rustic syle. Just 2.5km from the beach. Sea views. Plot of 200m2 and house of 70m2. The main house has 1 bedroom and the guest house has 1 bedroom, 1 bath and 1 toilet, kitchen. Has nice garden and terraces.

Villa in Caleta, beautiful sea views. 500m from the beach. Plot 502m2 & house 152m2. 4 bedrooms with built-in wardrobes and 3 baths. Guest apartment with 1 bathroom. Living room with electric chimney, big fitted kitchen with pantry and access to the terrace, private garden & swimming pool of 9x4m. Completely renovated, double glazing, aircon, central heating, store room & garage

Ref. SH549

Ref. SH578


Big apartment in Caleta de Velez and just 50 metres from the beach. 4 bedrooms (118m2), 1 bath, 1 cloakroom, living room with balcony, fitted kitchen, washroom, fully furnished, 2nd floor without elevator.



Nice apartment in Torre del Mar with 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, living room with terrace, fitted kitchen, swimming pool, tennis, communal parking. Fully furnished.


C / Infante 23, Edif. Faro 1, bajo, 29740 Torre del Mar, Málaga, España Tel./Fax. 0034 / 952 54 70 76 / 658 93 31 87 e-mail:


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The real meanings of these laws

The Laws Of.....

Law of Mechanical repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

to the reach.

Law of the theatre At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. the starbucks Law As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of gravity Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of random Numbers If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.

Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of Physical surfaces The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical argument Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Brown's Law of Physical appearance If the shoe fits, it's ugly. Oliver's Law of Public speaking A closed mouth gathers no feet.

wilson 'wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing strategy As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Law of the result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional

So there you have it!!


N O I T C U A GENERAL AUCTION Saturday 8th October at 4pm

To be held at: EL TRAPICHE BAR/RESTAURANT Ctra. Triana/Benamargosa km 0.1, Trapiche, Velez-Malaga (Just off the A-356 between km 42 & km 43)

Come and sell your unwanted goods! For buyers - an opportunity not to be missed! Lots to arrive between 10am - 1pm Viewing 2.30pm - 4pm Telephone for further information: 619 471 301 / 657 399 995 or email:

WANTED New Band Member to play Rhythm, Harmonica & Vocals.

Blues & Rock Band established for over 2 years, specialising in popular covers of Muddy Waters, Rolling Stones, Clapton & Elvis etc. We are a four piece band that play regular gigs from Castell de Ferro in the East through to Lake Viu単ela in the West. If you feel you can fufill this role either in part or in full Please call Brian on 679 452 418


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Grandma's letter.

For The Love Of Christ!

She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a ‘Honk if you Love Jesus’ bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed.

leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!! Will write again soon, Love, Grandma

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!' 'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!' What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to

New clinic now open!

well-therm, avenida andalucia 149, Caleta de Velez

Janet Van Dam tel: 618 989 125 (by appointment only) Clinics also at: El Morche, Competa, Puente Don Manuel

The Garden Restaurant Fully air conditioned Opening Hours

Breakfasts served from 10.30am

Full English 6€ (2 eggs, 2 bacon, 2 sausages, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms & 2 toast) Small Breakfast 4€ (half the above), Bacon/Sausage/Egg Sandwiches, Eggs on toast (fried or scrambled), Toast & marmalade

Lunch Menu from 1pm - Evening Menu from 6pm CLOSED THURSDAYS

Superb Sunday Roast (as informed by our customers)

Choice of 6 Starters ~~~~~~~~ Choice of 3 meats (or combination of 2 meats) Lamb now available (3€ supplement) ~~~~~~~~ Choice of 6 Desserts ~~~~~~~~ 3 courses only 10.95€ 1pm - 6.30pm (last orders) followed by our Evening Menu from 7pm


6 choices each of Starters, Mains & desserts. Have a Starter & Main or Main & Dessert including a glass of wine or beer. Now including Saturdays 6pm - 8pm


Please call for more information:

665 070 281 / 618 496 269 Available for private functions, Birthdays, etc. with special menus or meals of your choice

To Puente don Manuel

HEATING - COOLING - SOLAR SALES - SERVICE - MAINTENANCE Constant climates using the latest inverter technology Covering all the Axarquia region

English Dental Technician Over 20 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs Adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call Graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 622 719 640


*Pilates (Classes in Colmenar & Puente don Manuel) low impact aerobics *Circuit training - freeweights *Personal training - one to one or groups New Zumba classes a great way to keep fit and have fun Contact: Carol 659 295 346 email:

DENtist Dr Bakri

*Dental Cosmetics *Implants Crowns & Bridges

Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 55 05 21

Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts SHE Lives In A Boeing 727

Planely Brilliant!!

What a creative idea! Joanne Ussary bought a used Boeing 727. She paid $2,000.00 for the plane. It cost $4,000.00 to move and $24,000.00 to renovate. (She has a LOT of wood and specialty windows for $24,000! I want her carpenter!) But not bad for a $30,000.00 investment... The stairs open with a garage door remote and one of the bathrooms is still intact. There is a personal Jacuzzi in the cockpit. The Boeing home is featured as part of a collection of creative conversions.



gEL NaiLs *sPECiaL OFFEr - sEPtEMBEr*

ONLy 20€ per set acyrlics 25€ per set hairdressing from 7€

Tel. Mobile 634 125 175 Torrox & surrounding areas

Advertise here From 25 euros per month (minimum period 3 months) Call 664 210 468



Nerja or Viñuela 15€ 1/2 hour Beginners to Pros CLUB hirE


Club regrips / shafts Electric Trolleys bought/sold

wE BUy/sELL Secondhand golf 19€ per day equipment - mens/ladies 39€ per week Call Chris: 637 441 743 Clubs for sale from 79€ per set Ray: 662 260 449 Tlfn: (+34) 669 899 065 Email: Long term Car Rental pcm Group B 375€ Group C 425€ Group D 475€ Zafira 7 seater 600€ 4x4 700€

Michael/Maria Reeve Airport pick-up and delivery Urb. Lomas del Sol nº4 Benajarafe Alto, 29790 MALAGA - SPAIN

AIR CONDITIONING Mobile: 606 510 479

We have chicken coops for rent or sale

Fencing, gates, pergolas, car ports, decking, borders, garden swings chairs, garden tables and chairs, trellis in all sizes, plant pots and lots, lots more....

Shiatsu Massage in your home

For the relief of stiff joints, stress, neck & shoulder discomfort

Special Summer Offer:

30 mins on chair 30€ 25€ 60 mins on Futon 55€ 45€

For an appointment or further information please call José on: 639 820 482

Repairs Servicing / Installations

Tel: 651 198 409


Spanish Number Plates Car Transfers Driving Licences Interpreting Other Paperwork

Sara Bright

951 167 094 / 658 501 610



V i C tO r i a

Hamburgers, Baps, Sandwiches, Dishes of the Day 9.30am - 2am Kitchen open all day every day

Paseo Maritimo de Poniente, 37, Torre del Mar Email: Tel: 627 609 110 / 654 497 318

Hair by Patsy

Formerly from Hotel Riu Ferrara Patsy is now at Monroe’s II in Nerja. Old & New Clients always welcome Calle Jaen 7, Nerja

Tel: 952 52 2518 Mob: 679 562 328 Save up to 50% compared to conventional retaining walls

Turn your terrace or balcony into all round living space? - The answer

Glass Curtains


w Doesn’t spoil views

Other Products Replacement


w Folds neatly away

w Elimates dust and dirt

Glass cut to size

w Warmer winter homes

Repairs to all Glass

w No need to bring furniture inside w Increases value to property w Adds security

w Reduces noise

Timber Decking

Shower Screens Products


Solar Film

Supplied and fitted to your design or supply only Call Glass Curtains Direct on: 626 458 954 Email:

Dry-stone Gabion Walls Do it yourself or we supply and erect. Up to 50% saving against conventionally built stone walls

Do it yourself kits supplied with full instructions and advice or we can supply and erect using our own fully qualified staff. All products delivered direct from the manufacturer in the UK

No planning required No architects drawings No long waits for building licences

No sand or cement needed

Suitable for landslips, retaining wall solutions & ornate landscaping All Gabion baskets are guaranteed for over 50 years against corrosion Gabions act as natural drainage so no water diversions are necessary

For a FREE no obligation quote & site survey call:

952 516 218 / 660 792 282

Or visit our new website /


Call us and we will come & empty your septic tank. (Certified) CONSTRUCTIONS & RENOVATIONS

652 65 60 66 Competa, Malaga E-mail:

Pest Control

Wasp Nests Cockroaches & Hornets TERMINATED

609 915 770 MANN & VAN

UK Moves and Back Local Removals


The only mobile service specialising solely in car air-con systems. Get your a/c serviced now before next summer and before it lets you down. Have your headlights gone opaque or yellow? Before This is now a fail on After the ITV test so get them professionally refinished. For both services call Mike now on 951 321446 or 616 264067


“BARGAINS GALORE” 1st Sunday of every month

Restaurant El Pantano 9.30am - 1.30pm

(On the A356 towards Colmenar, overlooking the lake)

Call: 619 471 301 / 669 600 419

20€ per hour Call Barry: 628 236 661

Beat the recession. Develop a second income for your family. Become a specialist seller of world-class products. Have you ever wondered how eBay sellers, independent retailers and some of the world’s largest stores make such large profits on goods people want to buy? The answer is simple: they buy the best products, from the best suppliers, from India, China and Asia. If you would like to be part of this global trend, now is your time!! Prestige Imports was established to import quality goods from all across India, China and Asia for European suppliers to sell at substantial profits. Due to the efficiency of our purchasing strategy, we have sourced the best suppliers in these countries. Consequently, we have access to all types of marketable products, from Harry Potter wands to top-of-the range All Terrain Buggies. The list is endless and can be tailored to suit your customers’ needs. Although we are aimed primarily at the retail trade, we have recently helped friends and colleagues set-up their own eBay sites and watched them grow. Consequently, we spotted a gap in the market and have decided to offer this service to people like you who wish to cash-in on the rapid growth in independent retailing. To help you grow your own retail business, we are offering a gateway direct to the Asian manufacturers. If you are a committed seller, we will help you along your retailing journey, by helping to cut your costs and arranging timely and cost-effective shipping of the goods you buy. Using this method, we can help you grow. Indeed, our motto is simple: “Your success is our success”. If you are starting from scratch, we have a team of experts that can advise on business strategy and launching your fully functioning eBay shop and trading website. If you would like to learn more about starting your own retail business with high quality, competitively priced products, please contact our managing director, Nigel on: 654 200 367 or The time is right, so act today.

Just remember: Your success is our success. Act today!!


! ! n o o s g n i com


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Clinica Casa Blanca

Three years ago Bianca, from Clinica Casa Blanca in Torrox Costa opened her doors offering an extensive range of services. Come and celebrate with Bianca on her 3rd Anniversary on Saturday 17th September from 3pm - 8pm. Bianca received such a positive response from her last 2 parties, that she is once again offering 20% discount on treatments for the first 20 clients. If you can’t make the party, just give her a call. Also there will be free snacks and drinks provided from 3pm - 8pm. If you are suffering with knee, hip, foot, shoulder or neck problems or any type of back pain, then you should visit Clinica Casa Blanca. Bianca who owns the clinic has successfully been using the original Bowen technique with many happy clients. She specialises in golfer´s elbow, wrist problems, asthma, respiratory complaints, menstrual and hormonal irregularities, depression and much more. See page 34 for contact details.

Random Joke

Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a €10 note. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the €10 note and stuck it to his bum cheek! Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a €20 note. She called the guy back, licks the €20 note, and sticks it to his other bum cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a €50 note and calls the guy over, licks the €50 note. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately she just stuck it to one of his bum cheeks again. My relief was short-lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me. Now everyone's attention is focused on me and the guy is egging me on to try to top the €50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do? Then the woman in me took over! I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his bum, grabbed the eighty euros, and left!!!!

Printer ink cartridges

Original or Compatible for all major printer brands

Free delivery from Nerja to Rincon de la Victoria on all orders over 60€

Example: Epson, Brother and Canon compatible ink cartridges from 5€ each

We also stock a full range of office and home stationery supplies, blank media CD & DVD, printing paper, note pads, pens, pencils, laminating sheets, office card, plastic cards & wallets

Visit us at your local markets every week, 10am -1.30pm Tuesday: Los Jardines del Trapiche (nr Velez Malaga) Wednesday: Algarrobo Costa (Lidl car park) Friday: Chiringuito Antonio Puente don Manuel Sunday: La Trocha Shopping mall Coin

To order call Lynn: 636 298 538 or John: 606 126 435 Email:

We welcome you to inspect, select & collect from our SHOWROOM at LAKE VIÑUELA In order to give clients individual attention please phone for an appointment before visiting. We are situated at KM29 (on right) off A356 1km past Camping & Pantano Restaurant. We are signposted from there. From bouncy chairs to buggies, stairgates to sterilisers. Everything you need for when little ones come to visit. PHONE DAWN ON: 627 931 360 WEBSITE: EMAIL:


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g n i z a Am cts Inse

all we cts t a se th ay led in s   e to hel saf ard s ACH s i O it y h CKR ink ugl I th this E CO e TH hat

Cockroaches are not the most popular of insects, but despite the efforts of people to eradicate them, they are probably the most resilient on our planet. 1. Scientists have actually performed brain surgery on cockroaches.

2. German cockroaches can survive for up to one month without food and two weeks without water. 3. A cockroach can change directions up to 25 times in a second.

4. If a cockroach breaks a leg it can grow another one.

Cafe - Bar

“Serving a selection of new dishes and of course, Fresh Fish! Attractive prices”

Special Offer! Delicious Lobster 500gr. - only 18€

C/Marquita 3, Paseo Puerta del Mar, Almuñecar Tel: 958 630 245 / 629 882 696 You can find us near the old Post Office, in front of the entrance to the underground car park. Closed Wednesdays

5. The earliest fossil cockroach is about 280 million years old – 80 million years older than the first dinosaurs!

6. Cockroach can live up to nine days without its head. 7. Cockroaches are believed to be the only life form which can survive nuclear fallout.

8. Some female cockroaches mate only once but remain forever, pregnant producing up to 150 offspring. 9. The American cockroach is the largest and can grow to be approximately two inches long.

10. Cockroaches bleed white blood.

rEaL EstatE iNsUraNCE

Exclusive agents for allianz insurance C010924887168h

Car - Home - Commercial - Community Health - Accidents - Life - Pensions Boat - Hunting - Fishing avda. antonio tore tore 1 Bajo 29740 torre del Mar

tel & Fax: 952 965 332 Mob: 609 558 567


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

Amazing Animals (Continued)

11. The cockroach spreads disease by walking and crawling on filthy areas, and then transferring bacteria etc on its feet. 12. Cockroaches wear their skeletons on the outside of their bodies. 13. Cockroaches have six legs and at least 18 knees. 14. There are 5,000 species of cockroaches worldwide. 15. The ‘Oriental’ cockroach comes from Africa. 16. The H.M.S. “Bounty” was so infested with cockroaches that Captain William Bligh (of ‘Mutiny on the Bounty’ fame), disinfected the entire ship with boiling water.

Random Joke


An Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?' 'No', he replies,'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.' The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?' The Aussie explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.' The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?' Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.' The woman giggles and replies, 'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!' The Aussie smiles, taps his watch and says, 'Bloody thing's an hour fast!1

to discuss your individual needs, please speak your local advisor richard Mills. tel: +34 607 845 603 Email:


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Sharkys Watersports is based in Torrox, and offers boat trips along the coast: west past the fishing port of La Caleta to Torre de Mar, or eastwards to the famous Balcon de Europe at Nerja and onwards past the beautiful bay of La Herradura. Visit the team's favourite bar/restaurant El Barco in Marina Del Este and go on towards the castle at Almunecar. The choice is yours.

Tony (Sharky), the owner and skipper, has been water skiing for more than 30 years and holds an international certificate of competence as a ski boat driver, parascending instructor certificate and an RYA 1&2 for power pleasure craft. “Prior to launching, we check weather conditions using two different sites,” he says. “Should we decide that conditions are not safe, we reserve the right cancel the charter for your safety. We will always telephone you the day of charter to confirm.”

Discover the beautiful coastline of La Herradura, which boasts one of the prettiest bays in Europe. View the famous Balcon de Europe in Nerja from the sea. Enjoy an exciting speedboat trip on a day out where you can swim in crystal clear waters, snorkel and explore the

colourful marine life. Or you could just relax and sunbathe in one of the secluded sheltered coves along this beautiful unspoilt coastline.

“Our extensive range of watersports equipment includes wakeboards, water-skis, ringos, screamers and knee boards,” says Sharky. “With every activity option, we provide tuition and guidance for those who need it, ensuring you all get the most out of the activities. If some of your group aren't sure about wakeboarding or waterskiing, then there is no problem: there is plenty of enjoyment to be had from the boat, taking in great views and your mates’ efforts! The ringos/screamers are one of the most popular options with the chance to get in the water together and hang on. We guarantee great laughs and memories; fancy dress is optional. Bring along your camera or video to capture those special moments.

“There are free ‘sharkyswatersports’ tee shirts and a bottle of bubbly for ‘hens or stags.’ All occasions are catered for, including children's parties etc. We take a maximum of six people on the boat, although we can cater for larger groups. Call for details.”



Under New Ownership


NEW LOOK! NEW MENU! New range of wines!

Open 10am til late, Kitchen open til 9pm-ish Mon - 8pm - Bingo HAPPY HOUR! Mon - Fri 6pm - 7pm Tue - 8.30pm - Kim’s Quiz Beer - €1.25 / pint Wed - 2pm - Pool Club Spirit & mixer - €1.75 Thur - Closed (Part books available, rollover cash prize)

(all welcome)


Showing all major sports Early opening for Rugby World Cup games with a free bacon/sausage bap!

Nicky, Kim and staff would like to welcome you to Bar Atila

For information or bookings please call:

663 393 987 C/Buena Vista,

C/Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel


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The Word Queen

11. What is this character’s date of birth? What traits does he/her have of his/her astrological sign? 12. How would a stranger describe this character?

Hello fellow writers, this month I have prepared an effective creative writing exercise to help you to develop your characters... have fun with it! Take one of your book’s most important characters and concentrate on him / her when completing this creative writing exercise. Answer each of these questions thoroughly, expanding your responses where possible to include other questions that may arise. 1. What do you know about this character now that s/he doesn’t know? 2. What is this character’s greatest personality flaw? 3. What do you know about this character that s/he would never admit? 4. What songs does this character sing when no one else is around? 5. What is this character’s favourite film? 6. What is this character’s secret dream? 7. What is this character’s best achievement? 8. What is this character’s deepest regret? 9. What is this character’s greatest fear? 10. Describe this character’s bedroom. Include three loved items.

Do you see how answering the questions about each of your characters in this creative writing exercise has opened doors where before there were only brick walls?

If you complete this exercise with all your main characters, you’ll find that your book is completed in far less time, as you’ll feel like your characters are friends you’ve had for years. For more creative writing exercises like this one, plus lots of amazing creative writing tuition log on to: and sign up to my 26-week writing, publishing and book marketing course… Love & Light, The Word Queen xx



VaCatiONs with Reserve your space today!

One day cookery class The Path to Paella During this one day class starting at 10am with a discussion of the historical origins of Paella in Spain. After the methods of preparing a traditional paella will

NEW one day class Tapas & Wine Pairing

Spend an afternoon in a whitewashed village nestled along the Andalucían coast with Christopher learning a brief history of tapas and hands-on preparing 6 different tapas. After, Jean Paul will guide you be reviewed. The group will then visit the village of Torrox Pueblo through 5 different wines to pair and seek fresh farm with the tapas you just created. produce to make their Paella 40€ per person lunch. Then enjoy Sangria, Paella, Salad & Flan 10am - 4pm Call: 627 168 943


Vanessa´s Traditional Sunday Roast to share Daytime or evening Chicken, Pork or Beef served with a choice of traditional trimmings or jacket potato & salad. Always very popular so book early! 3 courses from 20€ per couple

The Lemon Tree “El Limonero” Lounge Bar te ebsi s w w e r ne treerio. u o on k at Loo .thelem www

Light Bites & Specials served every evening


Saturday 10th September - ‘Happy Saturday’ Happy Hour between 9pm and 10pm - Come and meet our newest member of staff, Chef Andrew Friday 23rd September - Pudding Night! Come and enjoy those lovely sweets you never have room for but crave Come to our popular quiz every Thursday. Enjoy good food, good fun and above all a good laugh!!

OPENING HOURS Tuesday - Friday from 6pm 1pm Saturday & Sunday

Private functions catered for

Calle Vienteocho de Febrero Riogordo

(Turn right and right again at the Painted Star on the road)

Call: 620 3535 94 Find us on

Friday Market Chiringuito Carlos (formerly Chiringuito Antonio)

Puente Don Manuel Every Friday 10am - 1.30pm

rastro and Car Booters always welcome

Bacon roll (English Bacon) and a Coffee - only 2.50€

If you have something interesting to sell and would like to join us at the market as a stallholder call Karen: 674 526 968

Stall of the month - “JUst 4 PEts”

is focused on providing high-quality dog treats and other pet products from well known branded manufacturers, who already provide quality service and customer satisfaction in both Spain and the UK. We do everything we can to meet your expectations. We live, love and celebrate our four-legged friends. From the time and care we give to our own dogs, to the nutrition and taste we ensure are in the products that we supply. Our activities are based on the belief that our customers' needs are of the utmost importance. We are committed to meeting those needs and as a result, a high percentage of our business is from repeat customers and referrals. We would welcome the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver the products that you desire in an area close to where you live, or regularly visit. We never stop trying to do better. We hope that you and your best friend will notice the difference when dealing with us. With a large variety of products to choose from, we are sure you will be happy. We also support CHAIN and CAS Animal Charities at their annual Dog Shows and events


The British Store & More Your No. 1 Stop Shop Open 7 days a week









Where you are Number ONE Not one of a number Puente don Manuel

SEPTEMBER h a r w O O D s

L M L E a

a t a k s

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the Parcel Force to be reckoned with

Sending or Collecting items from UK or Europe

952 519 780

we accept all major credit cards Find us on the web:


To advertise call 664 210 468

Psychic Medium Energy Healer

They call me the accidental psychic. My own psychic and healing journey has made me healthy. I had suffered from IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) for 25 years and many doctors, tests and treatments never found a cure. However, since I started in this field only three years ago, I no longer suffer from it and for that I am truly thankful. While tuning in to people’s auras, I never discriminate between life and death for the feelings I get from them are equal. Protection by your family, pets and friends is always around you, and the good thoughts they send -whether they are living or have moved to the other side -- are in your aura.

I then go deeper into their energy and feel their thoughts. When they have passed to the other side, I deliver messages reassuring you they are still helping, watching and are happy, but most of all they want you to be happy. I recall one summer’s afternoon when a lovely lady came for a future reading and Prama healing. She was a little nervous that something bad might come out from my reading, but I reassured her that my work does not give bad messages. I see how to make difficult situations and decisions easier,and most of all, I like to look into giving you options which make you happier and stronger. If there is a future problem, I do my very best to stop it from occurring, but of course the decision is always yours to make. While I tuned into this lady’s aura, I picked up her daughter’s energy and knew there was a small issue which needed my attention. While I was speaking, I got a sharp pain in my stomach. It got very bad and I needed to stop my work and go deeper. I then felt it ease and knew what I had to say. I asked this lady to go with her daughter to the doctor for a check up. A week went by and then a message appeared on my emails saying that they had gone to the doctor who had said her daughter’s pancreas was not working correctly, and if she hadn’t gone, it could have been very bad. Remember magic is always around...just stop for a moment in your busy life and listen; you never know, you just might feel something! THE ACCIDENTAL PSYCHIC Facebook Mark Bajerski

B O a r D i N g C at t E ry Canillas de aceituno

We offer safe, tranquil accomodation for your cat. Our pens are safe and secure but with all the comforts of home, making it very cosy. Only 20 mins from Torre del Mar, inland towards Vinuela, Campo Cats is a short 2 min drive from a main tarmac road which gives very good access. We welcome inspection visits where we can discuss your cat’s personal needs. We only accept cats that are fully vaccinated Also, we can provide a collection & delivery service. For further details, call Linda on: 665 510 735

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

The New English Mastercard


This summer our prices are melting!

pino electricidad 79.95€


CEiLiNg FaN 132cm wide 3 speed 70W 5 reversible paddles




CEiLiNg FaN 105cm wide Multicolour 3 lamps 4 reversible paddles


MOsqUitO sCarEr 30m2 Ultrasound



CEiLiNg FaN 132cm wide 3 speed 60W 4 reversible paddles



BathrOOM sCaLEs 120kg max 100g divisions

Custudio Puga, 9-a tOrrE DEL Mar tel: 95 254 03 92 Fax: 95 254 32 93

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

Something To Cheer Up Your Day


The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

said I love you. She said is that you or the beer talking? I replied it's me talking to the beer.

I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One's a superhero and the other is an instruction. I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said you're obviously not listening.

Hi mate I don't want you to panic but I'm texting you from the casualty. Turns out the new Dyson Ball cleaner isn't what I thought it was. What is a calorie? Calories are the little bastards that get into your wardrobe at night and sew your clothes tighter... MY CLOSET IS INFESTED WITH THE LITTLE SHITS. Spurs have just signed a new black Italian striker. Grabatelli


I was in the pub with my wife last night and I

RE ST SE U AU O A H R K I B AR ANT EA TER T S FE CA Specialities in Lamb, Spare Ribs & Steaks

Saturday 15th October - “OKTOBERFEST” Pork knuckle, Live music with “FRED” Bavarian Specials Crispy Duck with all the trimmings - only 12.50€ Home made food available for Take Away (vacuum packed on the premises)

Private functions catered for with Special Menus Open 9am - 11pm (closed Tuesdays)

Nr. Centro International 72, Bajo, Algarrobo Costa (opp. large swimming pool)

Tel: 952 555 402


Solar Panels:

shuco - 150lt - 1,900€ or 200lt - 2,150€ or 300lt - 2,670€ heat sun - 160lt - 1,750€ or 300lt - 2,500€

Air Conditioning:

Mitsuco - 2,400 fr. - 525€ or 3,180 fr. - 590€ samsung - 2,150 fr. - 650€ or 2,900 fr. - 750€

Heat Pumps:

Power First - 20m3 - 40m3 - 750€

we offer garden design and general maintenance including:

Automatic Irrigation Systems, Drainage, Pest Control Garden and Pool Maintenance Pergolas, Printed Concrete

To advertise call 664 210 468 73

Funny Thoughts

Some more to think about...

How do you get off a nonstop flight?

If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn't it reverse up and down? How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others? If humans have nightmares, what do horses have? What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it?

How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?

Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers? How does a person with a lisp pronounce that word? How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?


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Benamargosa is a lively village that stands at the heart of the Vélez-Málaga region and dates back to the 15th century to the time of the Moriscos, Moorish converts to Christianity. As you drive past Axarquia airport the scenery changes to a lush, tropical paradise, resplendently verdant with avocado and mango trees vying for attention between lemon and orange groves. The mostly dry river bed winds its way past Triana village until it comes to Benamargosa bridge, Puente de los diez ojos, so named because of the 10 arches or eyes, its hard to imagine that only 6 years ago the water actually came over the top of this bridge after a few days of particularly heavy rainfall which flooded most of the lower part of the village. Usually dry the river bed is used as a road for the farmers who work the land on either side and the many residents who have houses dotted along it from Triana to Cútar. Most days you find goats, mules, donkeys and horses lazily passing along it. Just opposite the bridge are lovely gardens with an avenue of trees and flowers, a central fountain featuring 4 naked girls, a childrens play area and a municipal swimming pool with sunbathing area, childs pool and cafeteria. The annual Fiesta del Campo erects a stage close to the bridge where performers entertain all night and visitors are offered Baticates, the local drink of avocado, cinnamon and a host of secret ingredients, followed later by an enormous paella with beer and wine.

Now at the entrance to the village driving from Triana there is a new monument showing the bridge with avocados and lemons! there are fan palms on either side of the road and a village garden with benches where the old men sit and chat the morning away!

In the lower part of the village is the Church of St.Mary of the Incarnation where baptisms took place as early as 1546. This church has an interesting piece of architecture where a huge archway joins the church to a neighbouring house!

As you walk onwards and upwards through the village there are several long straight streets and other more narrow ones that weave their way across. There is a lovely square where the old town hall used to be with a pretty fountain and some very old houses some of which have been beautifully renovated. Higher up are the gardens of San Sebastián with stone steps leading up and through a narrow passageway dividing two houses, you can rest in these gardens as the town hall have thoughtfully provided several benches. Attached to the new town hall is a 24 hour health clinic, a little further on is the village school and there are plenty of bars and restaurants that serve healthy, local cuisine. This village is on the route of sun and avocados and is 37 kilometres from Málaga at a height of 100 metres. Market day is Wednesday from 9am until 2pm and is held in the car park by the bridge and even under the bridge! Sally Harrison - Axarquia Properties

Property Of The Month - AS2320 Benamargosa 59,000 €

Delightful, bright and sunny fully renovated and extended one bedroom village house. Walking distance to all amenities in the popular village of Benamargosa with a lovely roof terrace for outside dining or catching the last rays of the sun on a balmy summers evening. The property is reached via steps leading up from a parking area and comprises kitchen, lounge, inner hallway and internal patio, Morrocan shower room, stairs to the bedroom and roof terrace. This bijou abode enjoys terracotta tiled floors throughout, beamed ceilings and has been sympathetically restored retaining many original features. Great value. Must be seen!

PrOPErty sPECiaLists siNCE 2001 iF yOU haVE PrOPErty tO sELL

CaLL saLLy ON 626 038 851 or 952 436 781

sally harrison Owner / agent

AS2539 Torrox Park 230,000€

AS2538 Salto de Negro 279,000€

AS2537 Alcaucín 698,000€

AS2536 Pulgarin 475,000€

AS2136 Benamargosa 105,000€

AS2508 Comares 245,000€


85m2 2 bedroom villa with a glazed terrace leading out to garden with sea views

315m2 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom house with pool, gardens and amazing views

212m2 6 bedroom, 4 bathroom village house with roof terrace and jacuzzi

Bargain price for 2 apartments in one house with 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, roof terrace

320m2 3 self contained houses totalling 5 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms, perfect for holiday lets

194m2 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom villa with pool and fabulous garden with amazing views


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We have now been Screening the Costas and Inland for 9 years We manufacture all types of screens, any shape, any colour Magnetic - Aluminium Sliders Roller Screens - American Swing Doors and Patio/Balcony Enclosures



70mm U.P.V.C Internally Glazed 28mm Double Glazed Unit Tilt and Turn System Sliding Sash System

Fully Fitted by our own Craftsmen

Tel/Fax: 952 565 225 / 690 296 952

Email: Or visit our website:

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


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s d e i r nt Worl u o C he s nd a l Of T s ni

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Population - 55,000 Language - English Located - Caribbean Capital - George Town Currency - CI Dollar religion - Christian Main Exports - Financial Serv. Literacy rate - 98% Life Expectancy - 80 years g.D.P. Per Capita - $47,000 total area - 264km2 National sport - Football

Famous for - Being a very wealthy tropical tax haven. interesting Facts - Christopher Columbus, in the service of Spain, discovered the islands in 1503. Columbus named the islands Las Tortugas as there were many giant turtles in the surrounding seas. Later, the islands were renamed Caymanas from the Carib word for crocodile. The Cayman Islands have more registered businesses than they have people. The Islands are the 5th largest banking centre in the world. The island of Grand Cayman, which lies largely unprotected at sea level, was hit by Hurricane Ivan on 11–12 September 2004. Ivan's storm surge completely over-washed Grand Cayman, and an estimated 95% of the buildings on the island were either damaged or destroyed.

Bar Granada

Free Wi Fi

Superb Front Line Views Sky Sports & ESPN Karaoke on Saturday Nights Draught Strongbow!!

Fish and Chips with Chip Shop curry sauce

PREMIERSHIP FOOTBALL - all matches shown inc. 4pm kick offs on Saturdays SHOWN ON A 50” SCREEN and all other major sports

Food Served Daily inc. All Day English Breakfasts & Vegetarian options Everyday is curry special day! Curry, Rice & Drink - 6€

Tel: 689 570 715

Algarrobo Costa

Find us on facebook - Bar Granada

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

Great Inventions!

Just when you thought all the good ideas were taken!



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Name: Elle Macpherson Nickname: ‘The Body’ Birthday: 29th March 1963 age:


Birthplace: The Killara neighbourhood of Sydney, Australia Marital status: Divorced Children: Two sons

Occupation: Model, actress and businesswoman.

Claims to fame: One of the first ‘supermodels’, Elle’s career began in 1982 and by 1986, Time magazine had already put her on the cover (with a feature entitled "The Big Elle"). She had also appeared on the covers of Elle, GQ, Harper's Bazaar, Vogue, and Playboy. With Naomi Campbell, she co-hosted the Miss

Universe 2001 pageant. She made a record six cover appearances on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit magazine, beginning in the 1980s, and founded a series of business ventures including Elle Macpherson Intimates, a lingerie line, and "The Body,” a line of skin care products.

She has also made numerous film appearances and last year, became the host and executive producer of Britain and Ireland's Next Top Model.

Facts 1. At the age of 17, Elle enrolled to study law in Sydney but travelled to America on a ‘gap’ year to earn money to pay for her law books. She did not leave for 20 years. 2. Married Giles Bensimon, the creative director of Elle magazine, when she was 21 and he was 20 years older; they were divorced in 1989. 3. She has had relationships with Billy Joel, Kevin Costner and Bryan Adams

4. Her sons are called Arpad Flynn Alexander Busson (born 14th February 1998), and Aurelius Cy Andrea Busson (born 4th February 2003). Elle called off her planned wedding to their father, French financier Arpad Busson, in 2005 after a 10-year relationship. 5. In 1994, set up her own company Elle MacPherson Inc. 6. Macpherson made her movie debut playing an artist's model in the 1994 Sirens, which also starred Hugh Grant, Sam Neill and Tara FitzGerald. 7. She also appeared in Woody Allen’s Alice, Batman & Robin alongside George Clooney; The Edge with Anthony Hopkins, and The Mirror Has Two Faces with Barbra Streisand. 8. In 1999, Elle appeared in five episodes of the American TV series Friends, as Joey's roommate and girlfriend, Janine Lecroix. 9. She designed a highly-successful maternity bra while nursing her second child. 10. She speaks fluent French and conversational Italian and Spanish. 11. Elle spends most of her time in Britain.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


What with the heat, the fact that we've now moved our plot to Mezquitilla, and a burst of low energy and general summer laziness, Kami and I haven't bothered tending to our new veggie patch yet. Jose and his team have dug up a new allotment for us and they've even covered it in plastic. This is a weed preventation method as we grew so sick of having to pull them all up every time we went, especially during the rainy spells. So the patch is sitting there waiting for us to get into gear and begin planting some lovely vegetables....

Charles And The Pope


Interesting Year 1981

1. Prince Charles got married. 2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe . 3. Australia lost the Ashes. 4. The Pope died. Interesting Year 2005

1. Prince Charles got married. 2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe . 3. Australia lost the Ashes. 4. The Pope died. Lesson to be learned: The next time Charles gets married, someone should warn the Pope.

If growing your own veggies is a dream you’ve always had, stop procrastinating and give Jose a call today! 639 120 707

Not the brightest of buttons! 

Arrested Rioters

Man in Belfast smashed his computer screen and tried to steal a pair of trainers off Ebay. Liverpool man ransacked Argos, he got away with 500 catalogues if you want one.

Man convicted of ransacking DFS was given a hefty fine, but nothing to pay for 2 years, then 4 years free credit.

Irish guy caught running down the road with a Chicken Tikka Masala, his mates told him they were robbing Currys.

Rioters in Toxteth caused thousands of pounds worth of improvements.

Ever thought about artificial grass? Maintenance free Looks like real grass Enviroment, child and pet friendly Always green Suitable for every surface.

For more info or a free quotation


Call: 619 317 211 www.a X arVErDE .COM



Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts s llow

ha m l hly t i a F iew the Det 2 Rerrvy Potter & Par ha

This is the thrilling conclusion to a phenomenal cinematic story 10 years in the telling. Raised to maturity under the well-tempered direction of David Yates and the wise screenwriting of Steve Kloves, the saga culminates in a finale as satisfying and emotionally intense as it is visually grand.

When the story resumes, Harry, Ron, and Hermione (Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson) continue their mission, established in Part 1, to destroy the rest of the seven magical Horcruxes that contain pieces of the soul of the beall and end-all of evil, Lord Voldemort. But time


is running out. Hogwarts is under siege. Harry observes others sacrificing their lives to protect him and wrestles with his obligations, not only as a wizard but as a man. Former professor Severus Snape emerges as a key player in Harry's fate. In the end Harry and his friends are, of course, much older than when they first caught the Hogwarts Express from Platform 9 ¾. And yet, united with their classmates and teachers to defend the school that shaped them they're still very young. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows — Part 2 leaves us with the dawning recognition that the world is huge, fraught, enigmatic, magical, dangerous, delightful, and, ultimately, the responsibility of young people who must first find their footing. Star Rating: *****/*****



Damp Ceilings/Damp Walls/ Condensation/ Spoilt Decoration etc. internally!

Using our new unique quality water barrier, all the above situations can be avoided. We will fully treat the terrace including any wall/floor joints to give a long lasting barrier against surface water penetration.

FOR 299€ No Extras

A fraction of the cost of a re-tile You Know It Makes Sense Internal Damp Proofing Systems controlling Rising and Penetrating Damp also available - DIY or Fitted.

Tel: 617 993 674 For a Free Survey NOW Price subject to survey


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email New in Axarquia this month...

What’s New?

Ever wanted to learn how to cook a proper Paella, or pairing tapas with wine? Well ‘Learn to Cook in Spain’ offer one day courses including “A path to Paella” and “Tapas & Wine Pairing”. The Paella course starts at 10am and looks at the history of Paella, followed by a trip to Torrox Pueblo to seek fresh farm produce to make your Paella lunch, then enjoy Sangria, Paella, Salad & Flan. For the Tapas & Pairing you spend an afternoon in a whitewashed village nestled along the Andalucían coast learning a brief history of tapas and hands-on preparing 6 different tapas. After, you will be guided through 5 different wines to pair with the tapas you just created. See main advert on page 58 Prestige Imports was established to import quality goods from all across India, China and

Asia for European suppliers to sell at substantial profits. Due to the efficiency of their purchasing strategy, they have sourced the best suppliers in these countries. Consequently, they have access to all types of marketable products, from Harry Potter wands to top-of-the range All Terrain Buggies. To help you grow your own retail business, they are offering a gateway direct to the Asian manufacturers.

See page 51

At Team Xtreme, they've evaluated and selected the most breathtaking outdoor adventure activities. They are suitable for different ages and abilities and all are provided by experienced and qualified professionals in their respective fields, so you're guaranteed to have the best possible experience. All of their more than thirty activities to choose from are available in Andalucía with a superb all-year-round Mediterranean climate. See page 8


On Of go fer ing s!! !



w Doors w Windows w Sun Blinds w Mosquito Nets w Shower Doors w Blinds w Shutters El Cruce de Periana, Edf. Alzabel Bajo No. 3, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin

Mobile: 608 241 429



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ts c a F s s le e s U


use are ! y e h g ys t azin alwa ut am s b A

Get your fangs dug into these…! • Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them use to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired." • Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village". • There are two credit cards for every person in the United States. • The most common name in the world is Mohammed. • The word "samba" means "to rub navels to gether." • The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672. • The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo. • More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes. • The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. • Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton. • An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain. • The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

• If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. • The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. • Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (so what are you waiting for?) • Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. • On average people fear spiders more than they do death. • You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. • Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day. • Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider? • In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes. • A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (not sure how they found this out...hmmmmm) • A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. • Polar bears are left handed. (ever tried shaking hands with the polar bears?!) • The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that is like a human jumping the length of a football field. • Butterflies taste with their feet.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

Random Joke :)

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up baked beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still af-

85 105

fecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin and placed it on my lap feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologising for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" I Fainted!!!


Nerja is renowned for its friendly, efficient local businesses, caring charities and all-round community spirit. It makes sense to support the best of the best, so check these out! If your car needs repairing, or you want to have it spray painted, visit Jonathan at artucolor for the best price and service. Artucolour is a general mechanics workshop offering car body repairs and body painting.

rafters rastro – New 2 You Shop. We buy and sell your unwanted household items. We sell a huge variety of goods which are changing every day. Normally we have in stock; a wide range of furniture, lamps, vases, ornaments, general bric a brac, books and good quality second-hand clothes. Contact Alan or Wendy.

Visit ink and Chips on C/Perez. They have all that you need for your PC, such as ink cartridges and peripherals as well as laptop and printer sales. They also offer technical service 365 days a year.

Dentadanes Dental Clinic offer top-quality Danish dental care at Spanish prices; a successful concept they have used since they were established in 1991. Open Monday - Friday 10am - 5pm. They speak English, Danish / Scandinavian, German, Spanish and Italian.

Come and see Glenn and Carlos at the Big garage. With more than 40 years experience as mechanics, they speak English and Spanish and specialise in Land Rovers and 4 x 4s. They can also give your car a full service. They use genuine Bearmach Land Rover parts and accessories,


and they're easy to find. As you head down from the motorway, turn right at the new Lidl exit, keep right and you’ll see them straight in front of you. Open all day Monday - Friday, from 9am to 5pm.

Olas - Sat 3rd Sept Olas charity quiz compered for the first time by Coastline Radio DJ Mr John Tea Two Sugars Holmes. Max teams of 6, book to avoid disappointment. Includes 1/2 time buffet. 3€ entry 7.30 for 8pm start. Raffle and money raised will go to ‘Help for Heros, Cudeca and the local Donkey Sanctuary. Footy - England play two euro qualifiers on Fri 2nd away to Bulgaria at 7pm followed by Wales at Wembley - Tues 6th at 9pm. The 9th - start of the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand, 10th - 10-30am, 18th - 8am, 24th - 9-30am, 1/10 - 10-30am. We will show as many games as possible and will open on a few days early as per attendance and game. Ask if you want to catch an early game and we will try to accommodate. Special Rugby breakfast throughout the World Cup come see and sample. The F1 season continues on the 11th - Italian Grand Prix, 25th - Singapore both around 2pm. Champions league starts on 13 -14th / 27th 28th. Full Premier League coverage with as many as 4 games at any one time. We will arrange another impromptu beach 5 aside comp, keep an eye on our billboard and facebook Olas Bar. Pool league starts at the end of the month as current champions we look forward to the challenge. Blue Med Cafe Bar situated in Burriana Beach have an exciting and new menu this summer, with a superb selection of fresh sandwiches, baguettes, wraps and filled pittas. Open everyday from 11am til late with a multi screen TV showing all major sporting events.

Locked yourself out of your house or having lock problems? Call the 24 hour emergency locksmith, a fully-qualified UK C&G tradesman. Or, simply call to book an appointment.

Blue Med Café Bar Burriana Beach

From our new menu Superb selection of freshly made sandwiches, baguettes, wraps, panninis & filled pittas Multi screen TV showing all major sports Free wifi

Open every day 11am - late Paseo de Burriana, Nerja Tel: 952 52 7105 Mob: 651452 705


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Prawn and tomato Pasta

Recipe Of The Month


8 ounces dry fettuccine pasta 3 cloves garlic

1/2 sweet onion, cut into wedges 3 tablespoons fresh oregano leaves

4 tablespoons olive oil

4 medium tomatoes, chopped

3 tablespoons chopped fresh basil salt and pepper to taste 1 cup spinach leaves

1 pound cooked prawns - peeled & deveined

8 ounces fresh mozzarella cheese, diced


Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add the pasta, and cook for 8 minutes, or until tender. Drain.

In the container of a food processor, combine the garlic, onion and oregano. Pulse until finely

chopped. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over

medium heat. Add the onion mixture; cook and

stir until fragrant and almost golden. Mix in the tomatoes, basil, salt and pepper. Simmer for about 5 minutes while the pasta is cooking, stirring occasionally.

Mix in spinach until it wilts, then just before the pasta is done, stir in the shrimp. Cook until heated through. Toss with pasta in a large serving bowl, and mix in mozzarella cheese.

2 for 1

Double your pleasure of having new glasses

the offer applies to glasses with both single and varifocal lenses. it can not be combined with other offers and it applies to a selected range of products

Remember we also do hearing tests and hearing aids Calle Antonio Ferrandis 23-25 29780 Nerja Malaga tel: 952 528 395

Avda. Andalucia 119 29740 Torre del Mar Malaga tel: 952 967 923

Experienced, Professional & Reliable all year service. Pool Cleaning, Chemicals, Maintenance, Accessories or free advice. We cover a large area from around Antequera down to the coast ~~ Let us look after your property for you or your guests. Cleaning - Laundry - Changeovers Gardening - Key Holding - Security Checks Guest Relations - Direct Reporting & everything you need for TOTAL peace of mind for you, your guests & your valued property. Contact Ron: 637 995 088

The Sentinella Tel: 664 210 468 Business Services

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Design, Photography, Translations & Delivery all Inclusive Websites + Hosting & Domain name for 1 year - 460€


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Tommy Cooper

Due to considerable reader demand here are some more Tommy Cooper one liners. Yes, he was brilliant!! 1. Two blondes walk into a'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'

strong currant pulled him in.

7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.

8. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.' 4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'

6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A


10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped

11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.' 15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

Heather Gail Harman b.a hons 'Have you always wanted to Draw & Paint'?

Openings for beginners now available from September/October on Heather’s highly successful art courses. Contact Heather for details

Puente don Manuel - Mondays Torre del Mar/Benajarafe - Thursdays Lake ViĂąuela - Fridays

Tel: 952 115 366 Mob: 628 306 371

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

Guts or Balls...?

$$$ Share’oscope $$$

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them?

93 105

It's everyone's fave time....share'oscope time! This months share Bahamas Petroleum Co. Bought 11,111 @ 9p. They are an oil and gas company with 100% owned offshore licence permits in the Commonwealth of the Bahamas.

In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

gUts - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ''Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

Last months share Herencia Resources bought at 2.20p now 1.90p.

Mr Share’oscope has advised, “I will still provvide a share of the month, but my advice is to keep away from the market unless you buy quality companies’ shares after a sharp downturn then sell if you make a quick profit. Over the long term stay away until the whole dept problem has improved which may be some considerable time.

BaLLs - Is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the balls to say: ''You're next, fatty.''

PLEASE NOTE The investments we make are fictitious. Profits are not guaranteed, so please only invest what you can afford to lose!

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death."

Do You Care ?



Care working in the UK - Country Cousins is the UK’s leading private care specialist introduction agency, providing live-in care mainly for the elderly and infirm, enabling people to remain in their own homes for longer

Many Country Cousins live here in Spain returning to the UK frequently or every now and then for two weeks or more assignments. If you are interested in earning between £945 - £1,200 for 15 days (one client) or £1,020 - £1,560 (two clients) by becoming a Country Cousin, please call Jennie or Barry for more information on: 625 807 504 or 952 115 305 (evenings)


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BEM idiomas

By the time you read this article there will only be approximately twelve days of the school summer holidays left. “Thank goodness," many of you will say. However, how many of you decided to spend the summer starting those all important Spanish lessons which will enable you to enjoy life in Spain much more? Maybe summer wasn´t a great time for you with the children off school, or maybe it was just too hot for you to even breathe! But now that we're in September you can´t use those excuses anymore! Personally, I'm so happy I started Spanish lessons, as before whenever someone spoke to me in Spanish I always responded with “Do you speak English”. I had become so used to saying this that it had become a habit. I didn´t even try to understand what was being said. However, now I ask, “can you repeat that, or can you speak slowly”. This way I try and understand and converse. What I like about BEM idiomas in Velez Malaga and my teacher Sandra, is that she doesn´t

School of Languages

sPaNish LEssONs


Practical and useful lessons to help gain self confidence and making your life easier. From 2 hours per week / small groups or one to one Study for the Spanish Diploma - D.E.L.E. Prepare yourself for professional life; something great on your CV; or simply just for you Camino viejo de Malaga, 12C - Velez Malaga

(952 54 92 33

push me. She teaches at my pace and goes over things again and again until I've cracked it! Even at thirty-four-years-old, it´s definitely a struggle to learn a language, so never think that you're too old. Always remember that learning something is better than learning nothing! BEM idiomas in Velez Malaga is now open in the mornings from 10am - 2pm and in the evenings from 5pm - 8.30pm and from the 12th September from 10am - 1pm and 4 8.30pm. So pop in and speak to Viviane.


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Incest- a question of belief

Mind, Body & Spirit

This month I’m addressing the issue of incest which, though it is rarely discussed, is nonetheless far more widespread than we might like to believe. I’ve been prompted to do so by the large number of my own clients who have been subjected to this most pernicious and devastating form of abuse, and the added struggle they face whilst recovering and healing, both to believe in themselves and to be believed by others.

Father- daughter incest, by far the most common form, is such an unnatural travesty of a healthy parental relationship that it is extremely difficult to believe. Yet the statistics show that one in four adults have experienced some form of sexual abuse as children, and in many cases the perpetrator is a parent. This means that whilst it may not have happened to you, the chances are that it has happened to someone you know. So why don’t we hear about it more often? Why are we not, as a society, more aware of the scale of the problem, and more sympathetic to its victims?

Most cases of incest go unreported, and those that are may only be reported long after the event. This is because in the majority of cases, the young girl (and they may be very young indeed) is so physically and emotionally overwhelmed by the (often repeated) experience of being sexually abused and violated by her father that, having no other way of escaping the pain and terror, she literally leaves her body. Her consciousness retreats to a safer vantage point, disconnecting her conscious mind from the unbearable sensations and feelings that are flooding her little body. This is, by definition,

traumatic – ie: the experience remains unregistered and unrecorded by the conscious mind. It is “frozen experience.” Usually, the memories, and the impulse to divulge them, are further buried by the demands of the father, often backed up by dire threats that she must not tell anyone what has happened.

It may take years, and often decades before a woman reaches a point in her life when she is able to reconnect to her memories. In the interim, she will probably have struggled with an array of problems: irrational feelings of repulsion or fear around her father; difficulty and discomfort with adult sexual relations; outright withdrawal from all and any sexual contact; deep feelings of worthlessness, of being bad or dirty inside; self-hatred, often directed at her physical body and appearance, and a tendency to become involved in abusive relationships are some of the most common. When she does finally embark on healing and remembering, she faces another huge problem. She must believe the unbelievable: that her father, who should have loved and protected her, could do such a thing. This is made still harder in the context of a society which prefers not to believe that such things can happen.

If you know, or suspect, that you may have been the victim of incest, please feel free to contact me in confidence. Richard will be present at the Mind Body Spirit gathering on Saturday 10th September from 210pm at the boatyard bar, playazo beach, nerja – for directions. To book a session call: 676 346 402, or see his advert below:

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

Readers Writes

Sirs, Having seen the riots on TV last week I have a few suggestions regarding what could help the youth of today if the politicions had the BALLS to address the problem? If youths aged 16-20yrs. (both female and male) are not in education or employment, they are sent to an organisation for four years. A kind of "Boot Camp" This would have to be run on the lines of the military, whereby they be given a uniform, would be taught discipline, education and the ability to live in harmony with their fellows. They would also be taught how to be domesticated ie. cleaning of their accommodation, together with personal hygiene, which would give them a sense of personal pride.

Sports would of course, be a very lerge part of their training and from this who knows what future champions would be out there. By participating in sports, this would also teach them how to use their energy for a better purpose than roaming the streets, drug taking and so on and so forth. Trades could be taught i.e. bricklaying, plumbing, hairdressing, painting, etc.


and upon their return to society they would stand a much better chance of procuring employment. They would of course get a wage. If by participating in the above, they then get a better sense of living in the community , all the better. And maybe we should take more heed to the old saying SPARE THE ROD and SPOIL THE CHILD. Brian James Turner SPAIN


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Over the past few months I have published some inappropriate pictures and jokes and it has appeared to upset some readers who have accused me of being sexist and shallow.. If you were one of these people, please accept my sincerest apologies. In future, I will only post content with a cultural or educational theme such as old monuments, nature and other interesting topics. Below is a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge in

M Poligono la Panoleta C/Juan gris No 5 29700 Vélez Málaga tel: 952 501 543

Paris. It is the oldest bridge in Paris and took 26 years to build. It was completed in 1604..

Yours faithfully Tony x x

O BR I T C R E A AD For your wood Carpentry

kitchen furniture, Doors, windows wE sPEak ENgLish!

Email: / Web:

2Js Removals Ltd. Reg No: 7188215

House Clearances

UK - SPAIN - UK Luton van with tailgate Local and International removals Reliable service - Free quotes No job too small. Fully Insured. Second hand catering equipment for sale; stainless steel fridges, tables & cookers, etc. Call June or John on: 649 662 012 / 618 846 868 email:



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y r a i D

s e e t a D r Th hat´s oanrea? W ur o Fo in y

Every Monday Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel, Bingo 8.30pm Call: 682 502 870 Every Tuesday Country Farmers Market be tween 10am and 1.30pm. Los Jardines del Trapiche Call: Anita 627 877 164

Every Tuesday Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel, Quiz 8.30pm. 682 502 870

Every Tuesday Bar Triana Ctr. Bemamargosa, Triana. Quiz night 8.30pm. 618 373 316 Every Thursday Evening Bar Viva, Torre del Mar, Quiz night from 8.30pm with cash prizes. APARIV Charity Quiz last Friday of every month. Call 952 544 362

Every Friday Chiringuito Carlos Market, 10am - 1.30pm Puente don Manuel.

At La Vaqueria Fri 9th September Curry night 8pm. Every Friday the ladies dining group meet to enjoy a set menu two course vegetarian meal for just 5€. Great food, friendly, informal atmosphere from 7pm. Every Thursday from 11am - 1pm the Arts & Crafts Class offers professional tuition in all aspects of crafting, oils, pastels and watercolours. For reservations and enquiries see contact details on main advert below. Heather Gail Harmen’s drawing and painting classes. Puente don Manuel every MondayTorre del Mar every Thursdays and Lake Viñuela every Friday. Call 952 115 366 / 628 306 371 for details.

Nerja History Group meets on the first Friday of each month at the Cultural Centre, Calle Granada, Nerja at 11.30. For more information, contact Jill Christian-Smith on: 952 538 526 664 760 405

Art Exhibition Renate van Nijen 10th Sept to 18th Sept you are invited to view my work at a solo retrospective exhibition in the Centro Cívíco in La Herradura. Opening times from 11.00 – 13.30 and 18.00 – 20.00.

Country Market Los Jardines del Trapiche

EVERY TUESDAY 9.30 - 1.30

For an extremely organised & fun day out, join us here at our indoor / outdoor market. Lots of varied stalls to browse around and a beautiful seating area for coffees, teas, hotdogs and bacon butties, etc. available at the outside bar Call Anita 627877164 or Chrissie 617811030 for more information.

(Junction 272 onto the A356, Vélez Málaga, turn off at El Cruce towards Benamagosa and we are just before the private airport)

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

Dates For The Diary (Continued)

CardioDance: Learn to Salsa, Cha Cha, Swing, Hustle. Dance Classes: Also includes Rumba, Sal Cha & Choreographed Routines Keep Fit Classes with or without weights.Your Heart, Your Life, Your Choice. Almeria to Estepona. Hugh Grant 606086300

The "El Valle Asociacion" Based around the Lake Vinuela & surrounding areas. Meets on the first Tuesday of the month at 7.30pm at the Camping Bar on the side of Lake Vinuela (A356). The club organises events,trips and social functions. For further details and timings check the web site. Dancing for the children international dance circle. Join us for our Premier Dance on Saturday 24th September. Latin American, Ballroom, Pasodoble, Bochata and Disco. All raffle profit proceeds to the Malaga Childrens Orphanage. El Trapiche Restaurant, 7.30pm. Tickets 10.50€. Choice of menu, Chicken, Pork Chop, Rosada. For reservations please call: English 952 510 096 German 952 965 514

Acoustic Roots gigs September 2nd La Plaza Restaurante Canillas de Albaida 952 553254/609 167127. 3rd: La Casona/Pericos Plaza Almijara, Competa 952 553701, 4th Piscina Bar, Canillas de Albaida, 9th Almijara Restaurant Canillas de Albaida 607 925981,10th Alberdini Restaurant Competa 952 516294. 16th 80th Birthday Party, La Roca, Competa. 17th La Peña Restaurant Archez 952 553084 23rd Almijara Restaurant Canillas de Albaida 607 925981. 24th Alberdini Restaurant Competa 952 516294. 30th La Restaurante Canillas de Albaida 952 553254/609 167127. You can book tables by calling the above numbers or email Mitch on For all gigs go


Van & trailers. Light haulage, removals up to 25m3, car & boat transport. Vinuela based, 25 years experience. Local or anywhere in Europe. Regular Spain-UK-Spain trips. Phone 636 844 209 E-mail:



The FHT Axarquia Therapists' Support Group will meet on Wed 29th Sept at 7.30pm at The Camping Bar Restaurant, Vinuela when Barbara and Stuart Wooder will give a presentation on Spiritualism, which includes Healing. Barbara will give a short talk on Spiritualism, and do a question and answer session, followed by a hands on healing session by Stuart. Stuart often uses a crystal to support the healing and if there is time will demonstrate this as well. All are welcome to join us for this talk for further details, tel: 952 321 613 or 633 759 988 or, tel: 952 030 611 or 619 978 890. The Reel Jiggers Open Barn Dance El Cruce Restaurante 8-10.30pm, Sept and  Nov for dates

Mind, Body Spirit gathering, Sat 10th Sept, 2-10pm free entry, boatyard bar, playazo beach, nerja – for directions. Stalls, Therapists, talks, demonstrations, good food, chill out area. CAS events for September, 9th Hog Roast at Seacrest Kennels, Nerja, from 9.00pm. Music with Peter Stoner. Tickets 22€, including wine. A great night out! 17th Scruffs Nerja at the market site, Almijara II, Nerja. A fun dog show! Enter dogs in one or more of 11 classes (5€ per dog per class) with cups and trophies for the winners. Pony rides, dog agility display, bar, burgers and hot dogs, plus stalls to browse. Register entries from 1.00pm on the day. Judging starts at 2.00pm. After 5.00pm, live entertainment from Jingles, Barry’s Elvis tribute and DJ Kap’n Party. Tel the CAS office 95 252 3607 (10am – 1pm). Out of office hours, please call Mike on 95 252 6312 / 699 948 993.

MR ‘wants CLUTTER your goods’

*House and Garage clearances *Shops and Bars - old stock * Now buying; Antiques, Gold & Jewellery Call David on: 686 375 089 or email a list to: Cash available and efficient service






All types of tools


Chainsaw Sharpening Service

Alcaucin Based

Mini Digger For Hire For more details call:

693 505 272 693 286 625



SPANISH COURSES INTENSIVE & CONVERSATIONAL ALL LEVELS AVAILABLE Including for children starting school C/ Maestro Duran Lopez 6 Torre del Mar

tel: 952 54 40 39




TEL: (0044) 7533 285918

(0034) 667 235 205 email:

THE DOG HOUSE While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog.

*Large Enclosed Play Area *Lots of Country Walks

*Pet Collection / Delivery Service *Vet Services - On Call *Gourmet Meals



Ring: Phil (mob) 649 079 321 Email: Comares / Benamargosa Ex - cat & dog


Refs Available


Cleaning of the Colon A detox Enjoy: clearer skin, increased energy, weight loss, mental clarity and more... Call Eileen: 951 167 238 or 609 811 879 (near Hotel Vinuela)


Secondhand Furniture Shop

Open Mon - Fri 9.30am - 2pm Book exchange available on ground floor

“House Clearances”

Call Gilly on: 630 211 907

La Vinuela Pueblo (Down steps at side of Bank)



Locally based 12 cubic metres €25 per hour

Small Loads to U.K

Phone Mark:  669 255 968


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? n O s ’ t a Wh

RIGHTS ARKW The British Store & More

sponsored by:

OPEN ALL “OURS” Puente don Manuel Call: 952 519 780

Royal British Legion Torre del Mar September Events: 1st Trip to Gibraltar, 9th Supper dance at Puerta Niza monthly lunch, 22nd Granada-Science Park or Shopping- and a visit to Alhambra Palace, 26th Quiz Night & Supper @Trapiche Rest, 6th October Trip to Gibraltar We meet every Wednesday at La Vega Rest. Next to Mercadona Supermarket. Members & NON members are welcome to come on our trips and events. For more information Tel Merryll on 663 658 354. Visit our web site at:

RBL - Los Romanes Branch We are still a branch of the Royal British Legion. We meet every Tuesday from 12.00 noon until 2.00 pm. at The Garden Restaurant, La Vinuela. On the first Tuesday of every month we have menu del dia at the restaurant. Please feel free to come and join us any time, you do not have to be a member. For social contact Lorraine on 952510203. For other contact Margaret on 951 167 600. Visit our web site on APARIV Animal Protection Society quiz nights with Prizes, Raffles and Food Available 9th September Los Morenos Restaurant in Rincon de la Victoria 8pm. Tel: Stephen 952 514 671. 21st September at Sands & C in Torrox Costa at 7:30pm. Call 952 967 734. 30th September at Bar Viva in Torre del Mar 8pm. Tel: Stephen 952 514 671 Qi Gong and Tai Chi sessions continue to be held in the area. These gentle exercises work on the whole body and improve balance, health and general wellbeing. Call Paul on 653 333 733 for details. Wed, 11am – Bar 02, Colmenar, Thurs, 3pm - El Duende, Los Ventorros, near Comares and Fri, 11am – Bar Trapiche, Trapiche, and another class in Rio Gordo at The Lemon Tree. Call Bradley on 653 333 733 Golfnutz meet every Wednesday at Santa

Clara (Otura, Granada) for golf banter, all abilities welcome. Sense of humour essential. So if you need a change in 2011 then give us a call. Call 617 979 640 or caddy master on 858 702 800.

Lux Mundi Music Appreciation Group meets each Tues from 3.00pm - 5.00pm at the Lux Mundi Centre, Torre del Mar. September events 1st Centre reopens for registration for Spanish classes. 7th Art group restarts. 9th Trip to Guaro - Candlelight Procession, 12th Spanish Lesson start. 15th Trip to Gibraltar, 19th German group start. Cuban Dinner to be held at Lux Mundi Date T.B.A. Every Mon 3pm-5pm German speaking afternoon, Every Tues Music Appreciation Soc. Every Wed 3pm-5pm Art Group - 5:30 Choir Practice, Every Fri 11am-1pm Coffee morning & Boutique, Every Sat 5pm Catholic Church service, Every Sun 10:30am Anglican Service St. Barnabas. Deposits required for all trips & events. For more information tel 952 54 33 34. Lux Mundi Avda. Moscatel,1-"I" (Antigua Casa de la Viña) 29740-Torre del Mar U3A El Morche. The El Morche University of the Third Age has a variety of learning groups each with a leader. Groups meet regularly to learn in a friendly and enjoyable way. Covering an area from Rincon to Nerja and inland to Viñuela and beyond. We take part in debating, singing, photography, quizzes, walking, computing and much more. Contact us now at

RBL - Benajarafe Branch Meet every Friday from 12.30-2.30pm, at the coastal, Puerto Niza restaurant, we enjoy bingo, quizzes, more entertainment and monthly outings, a superb lunch inc. drinks, and we welcome all new and existing RBL members. Tel: 603 879 308 BISC - Benajarafe International Social Club We meet every Mon 2.30pm at La Esperanza Cafe/Restaurante, Benajarafe on the coast road at KM 261, we enjoy social, trips,etc for all nationalities. August 12th horse racing at Mijas (coach and entrance 10€) for members, Call Heather for details 63497565.

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Yo Jive Modern Jive Dance Classes have a great new venue in Torrox Costa. Every Tuesday 8.30pm. Modern Jive is easy, fun and a great way of meeting new people. |You dont need a partner come by yourself or bring a friend. Beginners always welcome. Join us Tuesday nights at El Ancla de Cirilo, Calle de Peñoncillo, Torrox Costa on the N-340 between Nerja and Torrox Costa.

Trapiche Social Club meet every Wednesday from 12 noon - 2pm at El Trapiche Restaurant, Social Activities include card games, skittles, dominoes and occasionally free bingo. Everyone is welcome to join us members and visitors. September events 7th social meeting, 9th Trip to Carratreca La Luna Mora evening, 14th social meeting, 21st social meeting & Monthly lunch, 23rd Barn Dance music by The Reel Jiggers, 28th social meeting. Social Activities booking line – 680 764 130. Further information from the Publicity Office run by Gordon Reith, by phone 951 239 36 by email or from any Officer or Committee Member.

Joyce, John, Sue & Mike of the 'Come Dancing' team look forward to seeing all their members at the first Cudeca Dance of the new season on 10th Sept at El Trapiche 7.00pm for 7.30pm cost 10€, fish, chicken or vegetarian supper included. For meal choice email: or phone new mobile 699 156 471 Thanks to a special donation from Coraxalia for providing social dance music at their summer ball at Hotel Vinuela, we start the new season with 5,000€ already donated to Cudeca from only 22 dances.

Lake Vinuela Social Club We meet every Thurs from midday until approx 2.30 at the Bar Atila in Puente don Manuel to enjoy social activities and meet new like minded friends. We regularly have a quiz, bingo, surprise events and presentations, also a monthly lunch at various restaurants in the area. Our aim is to enjoy ourselves and to raise monies for various local and international charities and organisations. September Events: 1st meeting place and event to be announced, 8th general meeting, 9th Almunecar Market coach trip 10€ per person, 15th general meeting and grand midsummer draw, 16th Treasure Hunt and lunch, 22nd general meeting, 29th general meeting, 30th trip to El Torcal (car sharing)shopping trip to


What’s O n?

Gibraltar. Call for details: 636 203 135

Colmenar District Social Club meet on Wednesdays at the Arco de Sol in Colmenar from 12.30, all are welcome. We have quizzes quest speakers and regular trips and events. Contact Marjorie on 951 163 071

ABC Dance Group 5th Year. Learn to ballroom dance with 'Dancing Dave' (former waltz competition winner). Dancing is good exercise as well as good social fun! All welcome on Mondays 5pm to 7pm at Trapiche Restaurant, new season starts 5th September. Call David on 952531259 or 617863193 (Mobile) Vinuela Ecological Farmers Market Opposite the Pharmacy. 1st & 3rd Sat each month. 10.30-14.3. Fresh Handmade organic produce. Fruit & Veg, Cakes, Chutney & Jams, Sweets, Tarts, Bread, Pasta & Fresh Sauces , Mustards, Olive Pate, Natural Soap, Fertilizer, etc.


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n o i t a m r Info

...In our own random order! Bus Times Call: 952 540 936 Nerja-Malaga 06:30, 07:30, 08:30 08:55, 10:10, 11:10, 12:25, 13:40, 14:55, 15:55, 17:10, 18:40, 19:40, 20:25 Malaga-Nerja 07:00, 08:15, 09:15, 10:30, 11:45, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:15; 17:30; 18:45, 20:15, 20:45, 21:30 Expect to pay approx 2.90€ one way and 5.15€ round trip Nerja-Nerja Caves 08:10, 08:25, 09:40, 10:40, 11:50; 11:55, 12:35, 13:10, 13:35, 14:25, 15:25; 16:40; 18:10, 18:55, 19:30, 20:10 Nerja Caves-Nerja 08:45, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, 12:15, 12:50, 13:30, 14:45. 15:45, 17:00 17:45; 18:30; 19:30; 20:15 Expect to pay approx 0.80€ one way Nerja-torre see Nerja-Malaga times torre-Nerja 07:45, 09:00, 09:15, 10:00, 11:00, 11:15; 11:45, 12:30, 13:15, 14:45, 16:00, 17:30, 18:15, 19:30, 21:00, 22:00. Church services in English services at inglesia de san Miquel (St, Michael's Church) every Sunday at 12 noon (except during May) and at Capilla de Nuestra Señora del Carmen (Fisherman's Chapel, Chinasol). There is a short service of Holy Communion Wednesday's at 9.30am in the Church Shop, Calle Malaga, Nerja. Details of how to find the churches are also available in the Church Shop. Priest in Charge: Father Geoff Johnston Tel: Church House 952 521 339 Church Shop 952 522 460. Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Tel: 952 219 396 Malaga - St. George´s Church in the Engish Cemetery. 11.00am Sundays Tel: 952 219 396 torre del Mar - Torre Del Mar - Sanysol Residencia, Sundays 10.30am. Tel 952 219 396 anglican communion.

Local Police : 091 guardia : 062 Fire : 080

torre del Mar - Services in English - St. Barnabas IERE (Anglican). Holy Communion 11am. 2nd and 4th Sundays. Morning Prayer 1st and 3rd Sundays. 6pm. All at Lux Mundi Centre, Avda Moscatel 1 - "I", two minutes walk from the bus station. Tel: 952-030-461 (Priest) or 952 510 056 (Churchwarden). roman Catholic - torre del Mar - Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Saturdays 5pm, (Winter), Saturdays 6pm, (Summer) Evangelical - torre del Mar Evangelical (Presbyterian Church) meets every Sunday for Worship in English at 11.30am in the Picasso Room, Hotel Torremar, (off Paseo Larios) C/ Saladero Viejo 15 Torre del Mar. All welcome. Minister J. Hartsmith Foy. Tel: 952 532 825 or: torrox Park Community Church meet at 11am on Thursday for coffee and discussion on current topics. This is an informal meeting for everyone to join in. At Tapricho Tapas bar (opposite El Pino camping), Torrox park. more info: Minister J. hartsmith foy, Tel: 952 532 825 or Puente don Manuel - Fellowship of the King, Sunday Worship - 11am. Wednesday Fellowship - fortnightly 7pm. Midweek activities - Pilates - Tues midday-1pm, Bridge club tues 2.15-6pm, Art group Thurs 3-5pm, Charity shop/books Fri 10-2pm, Camera club 1st Fri of month 2.30-5pm. We meet at Fellowship of the King premises situated underneath Maroma Inmobiliaria, El Cruce de Puente don Manuel. Phone 952 115 220 or 952 518 185 Bank hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am.

taxis torre: 952 540 016, Nerja: 952 520 537 Velez Malaga: 952 540 016, Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

ambulance : 061 water : 952 540 662 Electricity : 952 540 662

tourist information Nerja: 952 521 531 torre del Mar: 952 541 104

weekly Market days Mondays Torrox Costa tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche on the road to Benamagosa. wednesdays; Rincon de la Victoria & Algarrobo Costa thursdays Velez Malaga & Torre del Mar & Frigilana Fridays: Puente don Manuel & Cala de Moral saturdays: Caleta de Velez , Competa & Benajarafe sundays: Malaga



Consulates Uk Opposite the main bus station Edif, Eurocom Bloque Sur C/Mauricio Moro 2-2º- Malaga 952 352 300 ireland Avda, de los Boliches, Nº15 Fuengirola 952 475 108 Netherlands/Dutch Avda, Carlota Alesandria, 33 Edif. San Andres - 1º-7 Torremolinos 952 380 888 germany C/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga 952 363 591 sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197

telefonica Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For gen-


Informa tion

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

eral enquiries dial 1004 airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 granada 952 048 804 airlines

shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the weekly markets are only open mornings. water supplies Velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013 railway stations Malaga: 952 360 202 granada: 958 271 272

town halls torre and Velez: 952 500 100 torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000

hospitals Nerja ambulatorio: 952 523 131 Velez Malaga: 951 067 000

itV Call: 902 575 757 or 952 551 084 - Open Mon - Fri 08.00am 18.45pm, Sat: 08:00am - 12.45pm


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) : a h a h s e k o J

Prince Charles decided to take up walking every day. At the same street corner he passed a hooker standing there every day. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow. "One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout. "No! Five pounds!" He said from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up. This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence. She'd yell, "One hundred and Fifty pounds!" He'd yell back, "Five pounds!" One day, Camilla decided to accompany her husband. As the couple neared the hooker's corner, Prince Charles realised she'd bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his wife. As they neared the hooker’s corner he became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass. Then, the hooker yelled "See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard!" ------------------------------------------------------------A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'. 'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.' The plane took off, and once it has levelled out, the Policeman said, 'Watch this.' He told Sniffer to 'search'. Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's arm. The Policeman said, 'Good boy', and he turned

to the man and said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land. 'Gee, that's pretty good,' replied the first man. Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm. The Policeman said, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.' 'I like it!' said his seat mate. The Policeman then told Sniffer to 'search' again. Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to poo all over the place. The first man was really disgusted by this behaviour and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the Policeman, 'What's going on ?' The Policeman nervously replied, 'He's just found a bomb.' ------------------------------------------------------------Sally was driving home from one of her business trips, in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. "What in bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown bag and said "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said "Good trade . . .."

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Jokes h a ha :)

Mohammed entered his classroom on the first day of school. "What's your name?" asked the teacher. "Mohammed," he replied. "You're in Australia now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Kevin." Mohammed returned home after school. "How was your day, Mohammed?" his mother asked. "My name is not Mohammed. I'm in Australia and now my name is Kevin." "Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonour your parents, your heritage, and your religion? Shame on you!" And his mother beat him. Then she called his father, who beat him again. The next day Mohammed returned to school. The teacher saw all of his bruises. "What happened to you, Kevin?" she asked. "Well Miss, shortly after becoming an Australian, I was attacked by two f**kin' Arabs!� ------------------------------------------------------------A crusty old golfer comes in from a round of golf at a new course and heads into the grill room. As he passes through the swinging doors he sees a sign hanging over the bar: COLD BEER: $2.00 HAMBURGER: $2.25 CHEESEBURGER: $2.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50 HAND JOB: $50.00 Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers. She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer. "Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "May I help you?" The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers, "I was wondering, young lady," he whispers, "Are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?" She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs: "Yes Sir, I sure am.".....

The old golfer leans closer and into her left ear and says softly, "Well, wash your hands real good, because I want a cheeseburger." ------------------------------------------------------------Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. "Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested. So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms. "Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.. "Would you like me to put them on your bill?" "Thit No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!" ------------------------------------------------------------The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a..m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pissed off in the least. Phew, I got away with that one! Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh shit.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.


s e g a P e Puzzl

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Get Quizical

1. What is a fly agaric?

2. What drink is made from hyson? 3. How many lines of verse are in a tercet? 4. What in Scotland is an orraman?

6. Where is W.E. Gladstone buried?

4. I run over fields and woods all day. Under the bed at night I sit not alone. My tongue hangs out, up and to the rear, waiting to be filled in the morning. What am I?

7. In New Zealand what is a ricker? 8. Lumbricoid refers to which creature? 9. Who composed the one act opera Aleko? 10. What is the capital of St. Lucia? 11. Who was the Roman god of doorways?


2. Throw me off the highest building, and I'll not break. But put me in the ocean, and I will. What am I? 3.You must cut a birthday cake into exactly eight pieces, but you're only allowed to make three straight cuts, and you can't move pieces of the cake as you cut. How can you do it?

5. What is the Meltemi?

12. If you kvetch, what do you do.

Hey Diddle Riddle

1. What common English verb becomes its own past tense by re-arranging its letters?

5. You want to send a valuable object to a friend securely. You have a box which can be fitted with multiple locks, and you have several locks and their corresponding keys. However, your friend does not have any keys to your locks, and if you send a key in an unlocked box, the key could be copied en route. How can you send the object securely?

Answers on page 113




Puzzle P ages

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1 Landing place for one type of aircraft (7) 8 hock — relating to a European river (7) 9 sicilian dessert wine (7) 10 Burnt sugar (7) 11 take or utter an oath (5) 13 shamelessness (9) 15 historic welsh county (with cricket team) (9) 18 Bursts of strong wind (5) 21 hot red sauce (7) 22,23 “royal” wiltshire town, which honours the fallen (7,7) 24 repulsive (7)


1 Organic “fertiliser” (5) 2 Extensive (5) 3 raw egg and worcester sauce (7,6) 4 Fluid measure (6) 5 girl in tale encountering wolf (3,10) 6 Material from lichens used to test for acidity (6) 7 altogether (6) 12 healthy (4) 14 Examination (4) 15 Fitzgerald’s tycoon (6) 16 (where enemies) lie in wait (6) 17 Development (6) 19 scrap (3-2) 20 air-filled cavity of the skull (5)


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s n g i S Star

Capricorn – Investment opportunities are presenting themselves to you around every corner, but be careful what you commit to. Outweigh the risks as well as the benefits. Lucky sign – A height chart Aquarius – Recent happenings have forced you to feel somewhat down in the dumps. There is something out there that will lift your spirits but only you can find it. Lucky sign – Telescope Pisces – A clever little soul like you should really loon into furthering your education. After all, knowledge is power and power is pretty darn cool. Lucky sign – Power to Books Aries – Having the gift of the gab can often be favourable but sometimes not as you can be viewed as a real pain in the jacksey. Try putting a sock in it at times (a clean one mind)! Lucky sign – Mime Taurus – It’s the time of the year for holidays. If you can’t beat them join them. Go on become a tourist for a week or so. Remember the camera…and the sunhat! Lucky sign – Easyjet Gemini – There’s lots going on in your vida right now and you are enjoying the busy spell, but don’t forget friends and loved ones in the trail of dust you leave behind or they could end up resenting you.

Lucky sign – Atishoooo! Cancer – Holy moses! Seek fashion sense asap or the fashion police will turn up and scoot you away for a long long time… Lucky sign – Zara Leo – Don’t get bogged down with other people’s problems. It’s ok to lend an ear now and again, but there are limits so set them and stick to them! Lucky sign – Ear muffs Virgo – The early bird gets the worm. But remember sometimes the worm needs a tug. Lucky sign – Soil heaps Libra – Stamping your feet and throwing tantrums gets you nowhere. Try resolving any issues with a simple and adult conversation. Lucky sign – Board table Scorpio – Keep your goals and visions strong and stay focused on your mission plan. All will go your way and you know it. Lucky sign – Clear path Sagittarius – You have never fancied being an astronaut, but sometimes these things and these challenges have a funny way of presenting themselves. Lucky sign – Button Moon And if it’s your Birthday this month.... Stay cool!!


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The Top ten longest words in the Oxford Dictionary... 1. supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Wonderful, from song of this title in the film Mary Poppins (1964) 34 letters

2. Floccinaucinihilipilification The habit of estimating as worthless (1741) 29 letters 3. honorificabilitudinitatibus Honourableness (1599) 27 letters

4. antidisestablishmentarians Those opposed to the disestabilishment of the Church of England (1900) 26 letters


Top Tens ,8, 7,6, 5 ,4,3

,2, 1 ,

The Top ten most poisonous animals in the world 1. Box Jellyfish

5. Overintellectualization Excessive intellectualization (1922) 23 letters

6. incircumscriptibleness Incapable of being circumscribed (1550) 22 letters 7. Omnirepresentativeness The quality of being representative of all forms or kinds (1842) 22 letters 8. reinstitutionalization Institutionalize again (1978) 22 letters

9. Undercharacterization To depict or play with insufficient characterization or subtlety (1968) 21 letters

10. Lithochromatographic Colour printing technique using stone (1843) 20 letters

2. King Cobra 3. Marbled Cone Snail 4. Blue-Ringed Octopus 5. Death Stalker Scorpion 6. Stone fish 7. The Brazilian wandering spider 8. Inland Taipan 9. Poison Dart Frog 10. Puffer Fish

get quizical answers 1. Fungus, 2. Tea, 3. 3, 4. Odd job man, 5. A north wind in the Med. Sea, 6. Westminster Abbey, 7. Tree, 8. Worm, 9. Rachmaninov, 10. Castries, 11. Janus, 12. Complain incessantly.

riddle Diddle answers 1. Eat and ate, 2. A wave, 3. Use the first two cuts to cut an 'X' in the top of the cake. Now you have four pieces. Make the third cut horizontal, which will divide the four pieces into eight. Think of a two by two by two Rubik's cube. There are four pieces on the top tier, and four more just underneath it. 4. A shoe, 5. Put the valuable object into the box, secure it with one of your locks, and send the box to your friend. Your friend should then attach one of his own locks and return it. When you receive it again, remove your lock and send it back. Now your friend can unlock his own lock and retrieve the object. Last Month’s Crossword answers: across: 1. Chaotic, 8. Reorder, 9. Algarve, 10. Evens, 11. Gasholder, 14. Auntie, 15. Usurp, 16. Resume, 20. Proscribe, 23. Dwelt, 24. Impairs, 25. Chateau, 26. Meatier, Down: 1. Change, 2. August, 3. Torso, 4. Creed, 5. Coverup, 6. Advert, 7. Crusoe, 12. Laser, 13. Earns, 15. Umpteen, 16. Reduce, 17. Seesaw, 18. Bikini, 19. Teaser, 21. Odium, 22. Cuppa.


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c. photo. in t r e v d a r d e words or 15 hfoer1b7othxeof the morocnathll:.664 210 468 d a r T e Th 3 for a maximmeunmt toofb2e8madebebfeofroere17tth of the month €

Pay @ s the Email sale

Cars or Sale / Wanted

Fiat DUCatO motorhome, 1.9 turbo diesel, 1990, LHD, 3/4 beds, cooker, fridge, heater, mosquito blinds. Very good cond throughout. All correct paperwork for matriculation. €3350 Tel: 660 708 441

hONDa Xr 650 trials bike, 2001, spanish plates, ITV. Exc condition. €2000 Tel: 660 708 441

aUDi CaBriOLEt 2.6E V6, 1999, UK plates, RHD, Exc cond. €2000 no offers. Tel: 660 123 349 sUzUki rMX50 trails bike, 1999, Spanish plates. Very good condition. Complete engine rebuild. €475 Tel: 660 123 349

Crisis BUstiNg DEaL. Can’t afford your mortgage?? CaraVaN swiFt DOUBLEttE 1998. cris registered. 4 berth. Very good condition. Separate bathroom. €4200 o.v.n.o. Phone Julian 665 251 368 Crisis BUstiNg DEaL. Can’t afford your mortgage?? CaraVaN aVONDaLE Dart 556-6.6 berth. Absolutely mint with all extras.cris registered. First to see will buy. €5200 o.v.n.o. Phone Julian 665 251 368

hONDa hrV 4x4 5 door, 2001, Spanish, LHD, 80,000kms, a/c, p/s, e/w, 1.6 v-tec petrol, manual, alloys, sunroof, nearly new tyres & battery, €3,250 Tel: 952 030 962 or 628 820 311 NissaN XtraiL ELEgaNCE 2.2Dci champagne silver 2004,106,000kms, ITV Mar 2013, Elec everything, FNSH, CC, SatNav, Leather, MFSW, Lots more. For more details and photos Richard 628823148 yaMaha ttr 125 Medium frame (suit teenager) Off - road. Done less than 50kms, as new! Good reason for sale

€1,500 ono

Tel: 646 549 270

ssaNgyONg rODiUs 4X4 7 Leather seats, side steps, pull bar, Digital TV with video & console connections, ITV til Nov ‘12, sun roof, new tyres, all leather spec.


Tel: 619 578 779

kyMCO sCOOtEr 250cc, 2003, 8,000km, grey colour, complete with top box, excellent condition. 1,500€ Call: 651 760 845

FOrD tOUrNEO CONNECt 2005, 1.8 diesel, 130,000km, A/C, PAS, E/windows/mirrors, CD, roof rack, white, rear seats can be removed. 5,500€ Call: 680 496 673

LaND rOVEr DisCOVEry Series 2 Td5, 2002, LHD Spanish Reg, 118K, ITV, 7 Leather Seats, Climate Control, CD Changer, Cruise Control, 4 New Tyres & Brake Pads €5,950 Tel: 618 273 505 JEEP ChErOkEE - ‘P’ UK plated right hand drive, petrol automatic. 4x4, tow bar. Rear qtr light glass missing, otherwise good condition. €800 / 600€ NOW 500€ o.n.o. Call Chris 660520480

Properties For Sale/Rent

FOr rENt iN riOgOrDO Charming town house, 3 bed, fully furnished, kitchen/diner, lounge with log burner, Sat TV, telephone, terrace, parking, 2 mins to centre. €350 pcm Tell 606 734 012 tOwNhOUsE FOr saLE Charming town house in Riogordo. 3 bed, lounge with log burner, fitted kitchen/diner, terrace, parking. Reduced to €119,000. Tel 606 734 012

FLat, 90M2, in Vélez-Málaga, new, 5 mins to schools, health centre, supermarket, bus station, highway and 5 km to the sea. 3 bedrooms, a prime quality furnished kitchen, 22m2 terrace, lift and garage. €159.000, tlf: 606 764 539. Ready to move in.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


Properti es

3€ for a m aximu Email: sale Paymenmt toofb28 words or 15€ s@thesenti e made bef for enquir b ore the 17 e about bo efore 15th o th of the mo xed adverts f the month nth. or call: 664 210 468 Properties For Sale/Rent

aPartMENt FOr saLE - El Morche! This 1 bed 1 bath apartment is situated just two minutes away from the beautiful sandy beach of El Morche. It has a separate kitchen, balcony, marble floors, communal swimming pool and it comes fully furnished. It's an ideal starter home or holiday home. Price: €115,000 - for more info. or to arrange a viewing call 610 976 284. hOLiDay LEt Puente Don Manuel Self contained ground floor Studio sleeps 4, Pool & Panoramic views. Flat Screen TV, F/F Kitchen, Bathroom, Free Wifi Call Mick: 678 896 460 English or Carmen: 662 378 911 Spanish

CaraVaNs Or MOBiLE hOMEs, permanent or holiday lettings available. Seconds to beach, easy access, close to shops, walled/gated, water & electric, established trees and gardens. Call: 625 231 990 2 BED aPartMENt in La Herradura. Fantastic views of the bay and the mountains. 5 minute drive to the motorway. Golf courses close by. 50 mins to Malaga. 165,000€. Contact: Denis 652 668 927

FOr saLE 1 BED aPartMENt on San Juan Capistrano, Nerja. Larger than average. Fully furnished. WAS 139,950€, NOW 85,000€ Call: 6000 47435

For rent 4 bedroom villa with

pool in Competa. holiday lets from €300 p/week or long let at €550 p/month 2 bedroom apartment in duquesa holiday lets from €150 p/week or long let at €390 p/month

Contact Debi: Email: TEL: UK 0044 (0) 1579 340624


This one bed, one bath apartment is situated just two minutes away from the beautiful sandy beach of El Morche. It has a separate kitchen,

Price: €115,000

balcony, marble floors, communal swimming pool and it comes fully furnished. It's an ideal starter home or holiday home.

For more info or to arrange a viewing call 610 976 284 or email

FOR SALE - 3 bed detached

house with own pool in Triana near Velez Malaga and lovely views. New kitchen and appliances. Sold fully furnished. Reduced to 150,000€

Contact Lisa on 00447884448671 or email


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r e d a r T The

photo. . c in t r e v d xed a . € for bo of the monthall: 664 210 468 5 1 r o s h c d t r r 7 o o 1 w um obf e28made beforereth17eth of the month im x a m a r 3€ fo Payment befo thesen @ s le a s il a Em Items For Sale

7’ wiDE aNtiqUE PiNE double wardrobe, two draws under robe space and dressing table matching above item. Both 750€. Would sell separatley. aNtiqUE PiNE DrEssEr, base, 3 cupboards with draws, top, two glass fronted cupboards with lights. 400€ whitE PVC 2Ft By 4Ft breeding box for cats or dogs, (has been used for guinea pigs & rabbits) Totally secures small animals, flat packs, fully washable. 40€ Call: 952 550 041 / 652 236 462. 2 DaNish MahOgaNy display units 100€ each, 1 sOFa, 2 seater 100€, 1 BathrOOM CaBiNEt 180cm (h), 50cm (w) white, 20€, 2 BEDrOOM DrawEr UNits, white, 3 drawers, 20€ each. Call: 952 532 444 BraND NEw BOXED unactivated iPhone4 16Gb locked to Vodafone. Will take ANY Vodafone SIM PAYG / Contract. 12 month Apple Warranty. €400.00 (No offers) 628 823 148 for details. gLass shOw CaBiNEt 6’ x 2’6”, mirrored back with glass shelves. Buyer dismantles and collects. 150€ Call: 952 550 041

ChihUahUa PUPPiEs born 14th March, beautiful & cute. 350€ each. Call: 638 191 391

hOUsEhOLD itEMs Welsh dresser 200€, sEt OF thrEE side table, green & gold leather underglass 40€ twO LEathEr sOFa’s, 1 two seater, 1 three seater 700€ LaMP taBLE with draw 45€. Call: 952 033 802 / 667 874 096 rOOFBOX 140Litre black, dual lock, universal fitting, brackets, used once. 90€ Tel: 696 116 552

rEtirED artist's wOrkiNg stOCk of 41 Artist Acrylics + Mediums/Other Extras. Tubes 50% full or more (New cost €4,50+). Price €50 Tlf. 952 505 427 Velez Malaga.

thOMsON tV, 28” CRT flat screen, analogue, with stand. Ideal as 2nd TV, or for holiday home. 40€ Tel: 616 517 836.

FrEE staNDiNg octagonal pool. 3.5m x 1.5m x 8,500 litres. Comes with liner, cover, ladder, brushes. Would make an excellent deposito. 200€ ono. Tel: 657 399 995

wiNDsUrFErs - 3 NO. Dufour Trixi, Speedy & Sailboard, good starter boards. Various sails, masts, many booms, fittings. €200 the lot or €80 each. Call Chris 660520480. DOg traVEL BOX, clipper 6, 93cm (L) 65cm (w) 68cm (h), medium/large dog, good condition, approved for air travel 55€. 680 496 673


i wiLL COLLECt FrEE of charge all your used clothing, bric-a-brac, pots and pans, books, toys, CD´s garden pots, tools, pieces of furniture or anything else you are throwing out whilst you are cleaning. Call me on Tel:- 658 72 92 74 Jacqui gOOD, rELiaBLE cleaner has a couple of regular weekly slots left. References available. Please call Jo on 693269766. hOME waNtED FOr 2 Beautiful semi-Ragdoll Kittens (1 B/W boy, 1 Tortie female) available to a good and permanent home. 25€ to cover the cost of vaccination. Photos available on request. Contact 618 989 125 waNtED FOrD FOCUs EstatE, must be 1.6 petrol and spanish LHD, any age considered, have cash available, up to 3000€. 659 483 561. UrgENtLy waNtED - villa, Cortijo or house to rent with pool, 2 beds a must, garden and parking Torrox area - not Competa! Tel 634 125 175 waNtED sECOND haND timber doors and windows & building equipment. 625 231 990 CarEr rEqUirED for lady with MS. Must be over 5,5”, fit and energetic with full driving licence. Please call Sarah 952 967 114 Torrox Costa. waNtED MUsiCiaNs to form band with experienced vocalist. I play guitar, keyboard, percussion. Seeking violin, accordian, mandolin or similar to play lively stuff. Cajun, Celtic, Moorish, etc. 952 535 319

We Call t

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


Busines s Direct ory

We Call tocdaanyliost your Business n 664 210 4 here from ju 68 or Email st 5 euros a : sales@the onth!! sentinm


wEscuela La Crujia rural B&B/guesthouse in a pretty converted schoolbuilding. 5 minutes from Velez-Malaga. Tel. 606 010 580. Email:


Torre For air Conditioning call Esola, 616 119 007, del Mar Re-Gas For reliable and honest servicing, Repairs, and Installations of A/C & Pool Heat-

ing at competitive rates by a qualified Technician. Call “Polarair “ Tel: Susie or Peter on 655211192 / 658418093 w air conditioning, Repairs, Servicing, Installation. Tel: 651 198 409 Email:


waxarquia Mobile Barber, 25 years experience, covering all areas of Axarquia. I'll come an find you, only 7€. Call Nigel on 686 626 207 or email:


thesolar blinds, ideal for large glazed areas to keep view but also giving privacy and stopping maximum amounts of heat/glare and fading of furnishings. Speak to Ian 644 54 61 76 958 49 65 71

BOAT TRIPS - Snorkelling, boat trips, dolphin watching, water skiing & wake boarding. call for details 616 034 846


wPasatiempo Calle Infantes 32, Torre del Mar, 952 543 703,


warkwrights English Shop. Turn right at Venta Baja Crossroads or call: 952 519 780


all types of building work undertaken, 37 years experience, Let me quote you. Call: 952 110 788 or 650 895 461 reformers terence Mitchell - Renovations & Refurbishments. Professional builders with over 20 years experience. Tiling, painting, plumbing, electricity. Free advice, no obligations. Tel: 664 459 868. PJM Construction. Professional builder experienced in all types of construction from routine maintenance to new builds. Happy to supply references from many satisfied customers. Call now for a no obligation quote 625 348 406



Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

Business Listing

BUILDERS (Continued)

Jr Construction Extensions, Reforms, Tiling (Int & Ext), Terraces, Walls, Garages and Painting. Reliable, Quality Workmanship. For a quotation ring John: 699 261 414. C/Virgen de la Milagrosa NÂş 3, Los Romanes, 29713, Malaga. r&D Construction and Maintenance services, with over 30 years experience, English plastering, reforms, plumbing, electrics, walls, tiling and painting, all aspects of building work, property maintenance and management. Call Robert 619 232 025 or David 622 379 413 email,


inMalaga Car Parts,for the best value car parts Southern Spain, Torrox Costa 952 530 531 


One way van hire, UK, France and Spain. Call: 952 541 147


Company. Car hire, Lowest rates in Southern Spain. UK CARS WANTED

wwanted all UK plated vehicles. Year 2000 onwards. cash paid. Call: 667 235 205


wNerja Nurses, Professional Nurses. Reliable - Affordable - Local Quality Care. NHS Qualified & Trained - 25 years experience in ALL types of care. Tel: 628 793 413 or 952 030 713 email:


wandrew rodgers 20 years experience in kitchens, wardrobes, shelving, aluminium door & windows. Call the Window Doctor for any window problem. Roller shutter blinds, mosquito blinds, security locks, repairs and renewals reasonable rates, Tel: 660 597 894 email:


wCarpet & Upholstery Cleaning. Professional Machines, 18 years experience. All areas cov-

ered. Call Roy on 958 640 068 or 656 561 669.


wregistered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. 15yrs experience NHS & private. Call: 636 866 715 wregistered Chiropodist/Nurse of 20 years. New in Velez Malaga. Offers the following services:- Foot and hand care (diabetic, veruccas, fungus nails, ingrown toenails). Also home visits. Post hospital aftercare including physio. Call Teresa: 695 243 238


wPhilippe Druart D.C., grad. from AECC (GB) and USA, 30 years exp., opens a chiropractic clinic in Frigiliana, C/ Blas Infante, 2 bajo. Consultations: Monday from 16.30 to 20.30, Wednesday and Friday from 10.00 to 14.00 and by appointment. Tel. 951 708 672 & 678 691 387. Email:


wDone & Dusted, for all your cleaning requirements, for your home, holiday rentals, cleaning during your holiday stay, pool cleans, general maintenance, repairs and gardening. Competitive rates. Call Juliet 692 437 039 Deb 622 863 255 Dave 622 379 413 or Rob 619 232 025 Email: wFiona’s Cleaning services. Spring Cleans, Regular House Cleans, Holiday Rental Cleans, And End Of Lease Cleans. We Love The Jobs You Hate! SATISFACTION GUARANTEED! Phone: 687 285 275 Email:

COMPUTERS computer problems solved. Torrox/Nerja and surrounding areas. Free Advice. No Fix No Fee. Hardware, Software and Website solutions. PC service - only 50 Euros. Call Rab on: 952 967 124 or 645 236 259. wComputer help.Troubleshooting & Repairs. New PCs supplied with Windows in English. WiFi installations. Reasonable rates. Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000. Patient & professional. Call David on 952 54 96 07 or 654 899 976.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email COMPUTERS (cont)

Business Listing

wComputer Problems? Help is at hand. Upgrades, repairs, hardware and software problems solved, NO FIX - NO FEE. Advice on buying and setting up the right computer for you. Tuition from complete beginners to advanced, get the most out of your PC. Call David Fleck on: 952 510 729 / 620 328 382 email:


Torrox Clinica Europa Centro internacional, Blq. 86, Costa. Call: 952 53 09 08 Email: clini- British dentist, 24hrs response Call: 648 203 157 wian Pett Dental Care, Five star dental care you can trust. Edif. Al-Zabel, Local 7, Cruce de Periana, 29713 Alcaucin, Puente don Manuel. 951 139 287 / 691 700 587 UK +44 1708 616 148. wDentadanes s.c Dental Clinic Offering Danish, top quality dental care at Spanish prices. Est. since 1991. We speak English, Danish, German, Spanish and Italian. Tel: 952 529 666 Mon-Fri 10-5pm


wthe Dog shop, Professional grooming salon. All dogs welcome, any size, any breed. Tel: 645 525 782, Centro Comercial, 10, Torrox Park.


wwayne’s Drains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out. Tel/Fax: 952 539 425. 24 Hour Service: 634 275 030 wFor Blocked drains - call Blockbusters. Depositors supplied & fitted. Also Plumbing service. Call Sid on 658 347 463 for prompt attention.


wDressmaker/seamstress, with over 20 years experience. High quality, reliable service for alterations, soft furnishings and dressmaking. Call Elaine on 629 610 919. Located Puente Don Manuel/Periana area. Very reasonable rates. No job too small.


wElectro-Cute! English J.I.B. Electrician. For


all your electrical needs and problems. Fault finding/Lighting and Power/Electric gates and Intercoms/Pool and water Pumps, Rewires/Upgrades. Over 40 years exp. Tel Stefan 610 048 919 wElectrician - Lakeside Property services, 24 hour call out emergency Electrician and Plumber. Call David on: 627 931 357


wab ax Properties 650 193 777 Website: wFleming Properties, Calle Las Melosas, Edf Nautico, Torre del Mar, 952 547 131 or 637 278 306, waxarquia Properties s.LCall; 626 038 851 or 952 436 Email: wBuy a home spain/rent a home spain, Avenida Andalucia, 135, Torre del Mar. Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: Website:

FASHION Wholesalers, manu facturers & designers of premier British fashion labels. Tel: 966 191 560 / Mob: 676 059 997 email:


Guaranteed Largest range of furniture on the Costas. lowest prices. Quality furniture

from the UK. wCudeca Second Hand Furniture Shop, 952 545 212 Calle Infantes 48, Torre del Mar (by Thursday market) Mon-Fri 10.00-13.30 and 17.30-19.30. Saturdays 10.00-13.30 only. If you wish to donate furniture please call Melanie on 638 108 564 wred Palm Beetles, Wasps, Ants, Woodlice, Mice, Rats and all pests. Processionary Moths. Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems. Tel: 657 165 373


wPool and garden maintenance. Good rates Call Keith 952 554 514 / 674 526 968

Advertise here from 5€ a month Call: 664 210 468 Email:


Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts GREETINGS CARDS

Business Listing

wtarjetas. Rosemary George. For all occasions, English & Spanish. Organic, Handmade & much more Supplying to shops, bars, clubs & individuals. Telephone: 617 979 640 Email:


wgolf services - Lessons, Repairs, Club Hire and we also buy and sell. Call: Chris - 637 441 743 or Ray - 662 260 449


wColmenar gym - offering pilates, circuit training , keeping fit to music and personal training. For more info call Carol: 659 295 346 Email:


wsusanna's Mobile hairdressing services. National Beauty Institute (UK) trained. Please telephone 693 384 270 or 0044 844 3089078


wweight Control - Herbalife Independent Distributor, Bea Savory, 95 253 4795 (business opportunity also available): wweight watchers Meetings in English. Nerja and Vélez. Call Candace on 952 549 607 or 626 672 493 for further info.


wVillas to Let Privately owned luxury villas to let. Call: 627 820 669 958 36 40 16


walcaucín horse riding, Lessons, trekking kids club on Sat 10am start. Ring Charlotte for more info. 620 609 374. Website:


wCarousel second hand Furniture, Vinuela Pueblo (Under Cajamar Bank), access via steps at side of bank, or slip road behind bank,

630 211 907


wriosat:sL, High speed internet and telephone services for home, business, offices, hotels, bars and restaurants etc. SDSL & ADSL packages available. Call: 951 239 310 / 626 679 018. Email: Web: http// wBroadband - 951 239 888 Avenida Torrox 1, Competa (near Eloys bar).


wwagtails boarding kennels for cats and dogs. Dogs walked 3 times a day in 36,000 sq metres fenced land. Phone Val 655 579 792 or Richard 645 659 935 or wthe Dog house While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. Large play area, lots of country walks. Pet collection/del. service. Vet services on call. Gourmet meals if required. 'Only the best for your pal'. Ring: Phil 649 079 321 Comares/Benamargosa. Ex cat & dog airlines.UK. Recommended. Refs available. Dog care in our home with us, food, warmth, exercise and affection. Fully netted secure areas. Diet and meds. Ex UK dogs home worker also voluntary work. Call: 669 346 268, Casabermeja. On A45 midway between Antequera and Malaga. whome From home Dog Boarding at my 10,000m2 finca in Riogordo. No kennels just lots of excercise, fun and cuddles. Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail: Also within 15km daily home visits for dogs, cats, horses.


wCarmen silvia, Solicitors Abogados, Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (very near Nota-ria Office). Free initial consultation, 952 967 004 Email: winternational Law solutions. English speaking Spanish Lawyer. English and Spanish legal advisors. Urb Torrox Park, Zona Comercial 3, tel/fax: 952 527 831 or 615 338 075, Email:

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email MACHINE HIRE

Business Listing

wsaxon sL JCB Digger Hire. New machine Good rates. Velez Malaga Call: 678 23 22 53 or 662 39 83 72



bility Scooters, Wheelchairs, Bathroom aids, Toilet Aids, Stair Lifts, Long term rentals, Best prices on the Costa. Quality Service. Contact Gary Or Sara 952967015 / 635445279


wMaintenance person experienced in plumbing, tiling, painting and general maintenance of buildings. Portfolio of previous work carried out available. Friendly, reliable and reasonable rates. No job to small. Los Romanes and surrounding area. Tel: 618 496 266 or email:

wMother & toddler group at Torre Montessori Nursery in Torre del Mar on Wednesdays from 10:30 to 12:30 - 4€. TL: 633 637 774 Email: Address: Calle Laureano Casquero s/n Torre del Mar

wMr Clutter Wants your Goods, House and garage clearances, shops and bars - old stock, any item considered. Call David: 686 375 089 - or if preferred email a list to Cash available and efficient service, Now buying Antiques,Gold & Jewellery

wguarderia/Nursery torre Montessori, an English nursery with Spanish as second language. High adult/child ratios. Open Monday to Friday. Full and Part Time places available. TL: 633 637 774 Email: address: Calle Laureano Casquero s/n Torre del Mar

wDr. Bernadette Veeger General Medicine 952 532 065, 617 913 196. Consultations by appointment and house visits. English, Español, Deutsch, Francais, Nederlands. Centro Mar y Salud, Paseo Marítimo, El Morche/Torrox Costa,

wheiko stumbeck, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar, 952 967 923 and C/Antonio Ferrandiz "Chanquete" 23-25, Nerja, 952 528 395. C/Jacinto, Benavente Edf. No. 6, Fuengirola, 952 197 565




wMobile mechanic and welding services. No job too small. Fully qualified with 25 years experience. Also metal gate repair/rehanging service. Call 693 740 576.


wBlue Badge Mobility.s.L Hire & Sales of Mo-





wPig n Mix hog roast available for all occasions.Machine rental only or we cater for you. For prices / email: or Tel 655137483


wPet taxi- UK, France & Spain Delivered door to door. Call: 667 235 205

SALES PERSON REQUIRED *English & Spanish Speaking *Experience Preferable *Commission Only *Hours to suit Call: 664 210 468 Email:


Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts PHYSIOTHERAPY

Business Listing

wsanne h. Mortensen, BSc (Hons), MCSP, SRP, Spanish registered, Col no 2066. Clinic appointments or home visits in the Axarqùia region. Experienced UK trained physiotherapist offering post-operative rehabilitation and general musculo-skeletal conditions. 626 152 756


wEnglish Plasterer - good rates. Call Nigel 620 256 092 wstockton Plastering and Damp services Time served plasterer 30 years experience in all aspects of plastering and damp proofing. Insurance approved and fully legal. Call 648 243 656 for a no obligation quotation or visit


wJohn Folland Plumbing & heating: All jobs from a dripping tap to fully fitted kitchens/bathrooms. No call out charge. Tel John: 622 050 803 or 622 180 606 wJust Plumbing. Just a quick and reliable plumbing service. Just a reasonably priced local business. Just polite, prompt and tidy. Just phone Dave on 689 647 849. Discounts in Riogordo, Colmenar, Comares. wsur integral Plumbing and Electrical services Domestic & Commercial plumbing & electrical Call: 666 715 215


wBusiness Cards double sided from 135€ for 500. Flyers double sided full colour from 150€ for 1,000. Call: 664 210 468


wExperienced, professional and reliable all year service. Caring for your Property, Pool and People. References available on request. Call Ron: 637 995 088,


wBuy a home spain/rent a home spain, Avenida Andalucia, 135, Torre del Mar. Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: Website:


2Js removals Ltd, House Clearances, UK-

Spain-UK, Local and International removals, Reliable service, free quotes, no job too small. Fully insured. Call: June or John 649 662 012 / 618 846 868 Email: Uk-spain-Uk removals. Complete van loads or just 1 item. We are in the UK every 2 weeks. Pay for just 1 way. Nerja Sofas 608091660 or 951247240 C&D removals, Local and International, 2 men, 1 van, 20€ p/hr. Call: 622 222 361


wtaj Mahal (Torre del Mar ) Avda. Anadalucia, Blq. Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, C/Timon. Tel: 952 547 798 wtaj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, Venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 or 667 934 731 wtaj Mahal (Torrox Costa) Ctra Vacional - 340 next to Post Office. 952 534 972 / 634 051 635 wrestaurant Caribe, Bloque 7, Local 13, Costa del Oro, Torrox Costa. Tlf: 952 530 831 wLight of india Torrox’s original Indian restaurant Tel: 951 239 670 / 677 334 721 wLew’s Fish & Chips The best fish & chips on the coast Tel: 952 532 633



Call: 664 210 468

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email SATELLITE T.V.

Business Listing

wtotal satellite installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266. wsky shop torre del Mar. Call: 667 235 205 or 952 541 147 wsat. Co. Freesat HD & Sky Digital, dishes, alignments, installations. We also sell HD TVs. Call TOM 7 days a week for service. 657 484 853. All equipment delivered, installed & guaranteed for 2 years. Free demos every Sat. 2pm


redhouse signmakers. Suppliers and de-

signers of all types of signs - shops, pavement boards, estate agency for sale boards, vehicle advertising, banner stands and more. New telephone number: 675 091 982. Email Website:



solutions, Sales & Servicing. We cover solar hot water, solar electricity (PV), Solar (PV) windmills, Solar pool heating and Pellet central heating systems. For more info visiti Trapiche market every Tuesday or call Andrew 660 597 894 - Spanish and English spoken. Email:


wC&D solicitors Specialists in Real Estate, Civil and Tax Law. Tel: 952 532 582 or wDel Prado & Partners, specialists in many areas of Spanish Law. Call: 952 52 72 74 / 952 52 17 47


time Out spas & saunas. Serving The Costa del Sol for more than 10 Years. Hundreds of Spas Installed! We service all Brands of Spas so come to us - we are the Professionals. 952 52 43 94


Oxford skin Clinics offering specialist treatments including, Lipo by Laser and Non Laser


Tattoo removal as well as a range of La Cure bauty products. Tel: 634 348 179/672 583 776, Email: or visit our website


wCar, 4x4 and motorcycle tyres supplied and fitted. Punctures repaired, wheel balancing, competitive prices. Also ITV (Mot) welding. For a no obligation quote call: 676 719 066 / 620 627 214 or 952 517 502. Email: Also iron work made to order.


Naturvets Competa, Avda. de la Constitucion 15, 952 553 850. Benajarafe, Ctra. Malaga Almeria Km 164, 952 513 207. Mobile: 617001 723 (for both)


spanglish webs, Web designs, Database

Programmes, Hosting, Domains, Real Estate Sites, English – Spanish Translation. All at realistic prices. Call Rachel: 951 708 454 or 691 660 187 Website: Email: sokrak web Design, Quality web design at the lowest price! Get an eye catching, easy to navigate website in English, Spanish and more, to make your business available worldwide. All our prices are affordable and include hosting and your domain for the first year with no hidden fees. For more information, visit or contact us on (+34) 666 731 759


water well: drilling for water supply and irrigation Plumbing and electrical installation, legalisation, water works construction/repairing. Call us: 666 13 88 86, or e-mail: free consultation.


Mobile service itv legal Solar reflective tint for glass curtains, balconies, yachts stop fading, heat ,glare, save money on cooling make living in the sun comfortable. 958 496 571-644 546 176

“The Cool Dude” The coolest man on the Costa!!! Doing his utmost to keep you cool Magicools

Cool/Warm Eye Mask

This fully adjustable eye mask can be used cold to help reduce pain by numbing the affected area. It can also be used warm for comforting relief.

The only supplier on the Costa del Sol The world’s first & safe atomised instant cooling spray “Magicool” complies with UK, USA & European safety regulations Available in 3 sizes; 75ml - 3€ 150ml - 4€ 200ml - 5€

Only 3.50€

Cool/Warm Compress This unique adjustable compress is specially designed to help reduce inflammation at the site of an injury to small joints such as the knee, ankle or forearm

Only 8.00€

ach e € 0.95


‘The Cool Dude’ can be seen at the following Markets:

Trapiche on Tuesdays & Puente don Manuel on Fridays Alternatively call: 664 689 138 or email: FREE delivery in the Axarquia region

Avda. Andalucia, 125-A, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 601 / 649 123 068 Avda. Andalucia, 64 (near ‘Las Yucas’), Torre del Mar Tel: 952 965 724

algarrobo/sayalonga - ref.: 2834

This luxurious villa (130m2) with stunning sea & mountain views is located just behind Algarrobo village, just 10 minutes from the beach. Large terrace areas and park-like outdoor areas (6,000m2 plot) give the viewer the feeling of being on a Gallery within the beautiful mountains. The view from there to the sea is simply enchanting. Of course, a private swimming pool is also available. There are 3 beds, 2 baths and an individual guest apartment available. The impressive living room is effectively styled by an extra high ceiling and has been designed with spacious dining area and large windows / patio doors, which even from the inside the area can enjoy the wonderful views, then continuously over the adjacent kitchen. The house is partially furnished, with A/C warm/cold and a stylish fireplace. An alarm system as well as internet and satellite TV are installed, the water is supplied by city water and additionally there is a private well. The very spacious garage and very good access points are more in favour of this extraordinary property

Price : reduced by 25,000€ to 395,000€


ANGUS Argentina MRS. Rump steak 200 gr. MR. Rump steak 300 gr. The Queen 400 gr. The King 500 gr. Tenderloin MRS. Filet steak 180 gr. MR. Filet steak 250 gr. The Queen 330 gr. The King 400 gr. Pork Fillet MRS. Pork 180 gr. MR. Pork 250 gr.

Paseo de Larios, 38 (on corner at beach end) Torre del Mar Tel: 952 541 343 / 606 852 412

12.90 € 16.90 € 21.90 € 25.90 € 15.90 € 19.90 € 23.90 € 27.90 € 11.90 € 19.90 €

Sword fish with King Prawns 12.90 € King Prawns 11.90 € All dishes are served with salad and fries. 1€ extra -Baked Potato Pepper, Roquefort or Red-Wine Sauce



A villa built of some 125m2 on 6,000m2. It has easy concrete access from the main road and enjoys panoramic views to the Mediterranean. The property has a telephone line, is alarmed and has air conditioning throughout. Outside there is ample parking for 5-6 cars, garage, plunge pool and mature garden. A marvellous property at a very good price of




A delightful, 55m2, one bedroom apartment with a south westerly aspect in this popular urbanisation. The apartment has an open plan living/dining room/kitchen, one bedroom with built in wardrobes and bathroom. The lounge leads out on to the spacious sun/dining terrace which enjoys views over Nerja to the sea.


tOrrE OFFiCE Calle Playa Marina, 2D Torre del Mar. 29740 Tel: 952 54 71 31 Mob: 606 087 362 NErJa OFFiCE Calle El Barrio, 11 Nerja. 29780 Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306

The Sentinella Axarquia September 2011  

The little mag that fits in your bag for info on the go

The Sentinella Axarquia September 2011  

The little mag that fits in your bag for info on the go