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The Sentinella Axarquia Edition No 157

October 17

Torrox Costa since 2008

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m Fro Ed... the So that’s it now — for those of us with children, summer is well and truly over for another year. It’s a bit sad really, because even though we are blessed with having almost three months’ holiday with our lovely children, for me it’s still not long enough to fit in everything I plan to do. However saying that, I did manage to send them to the UK for a week, have a few beach parties, enjoy parties with family and friends, entertain guests, take a boat trip where we saw dolphins for the first time, make a trip to the local water park, eat out in new restaurants, experience my first escape room, visit the cinema, try a fantastic virtual reality game… actually it’s a pretty long list when I think about it (and makes me feel exhausted just looking at it!) but it’s still not complete. However it’s no wonder we parents are totally worn out when the summer months come to an end! Now October is here we start to plan the next big event, Halloween. There are a few parties in the area that are not to be missed, such as the one in Kickoff Sports Bar, Torre del Mar, on Tuesday 31st with a best costume competition, prizes, “bloody” drinks, “messy” shots and “deadly” snacks.. come in if you dare! Bar Atila in Puente don Manuel has a party for the kids on Sunday 29th at 7pm with spooky fun, games and treats, and there is also an event at La Vaqueria in Benamargosa with fancy dress and live music also on Tuesday 31st.


Editor: Kami Knight Sales: 664 210 468 / 664 689 138

Deposito Legal MA-1435-2005 No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. So there! The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest in peace. (Born; 1960 Died; 2004)

Moving on.. I am sure I’m not the only one already scouring the internet and Amazon for Christmas ideas. Before we know it, January 2018 will have arrived and we will start


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Strange News another year all over again. For me, what’s important each year is that I achieve a memorable list of “firsts” — otherwise doing the same things year after year would become very boring. So far in 2017 my favourite “first” has to be my new-found hobby: “Escape rooms.” You can read all about it on page 14. Don’t forget there are still three months of this year left, so if you haven’t achieved some “firsts” yourself yet, you can start now. Best get planning! October is also the longest month, so enjoy a super-spooky time! My thought of the month October is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February….

Kami Knight

The New Editor (of the original little mag)!

Countries Of The World......................Page 24 Saucy Postcards.................................Page 49 Urban Dictionary.................................Page 62 Useless Facts.....................................Page 66 Faceless.............................................Page 77 Celebrity News...................................Page 82 Fruit & Vegetable Facts......................Page 84 Where’s Waldo...................................Page 94 Jokes................................................Page 104 Puzzle Pages...................................Page 106 Horoscopes......................................Page 110

In a spin A seven-year-old boy got stuck in a washing machine while playing hide and seek with his sister. The youngster had to be rescued by firefighters in the bizarre incident in the city of Kharkov in eastern Ukraine. The boy, whose name has not been released, was playing hide and seek with his sister in the family’s flat. He thought he had found the perfect hiding place when he crawled into the drum of the washing machine. But once inside, he found he could not get out again and ended up shouting for help and emergency services were called. Four firefighters arrived and, after surveying the situation, came up with the idea of covering the boy in sunflower oil. And it paid off as the youngster suddenly slid out of the machine. Once free, the rescuers checked him over and – once they were satisfied he had not been hurt – handed him over to his relieved mother. Smokin’…… A faulty e-cigarette caused a major terrorism alert and the evacuation of Euston Station in London. Hundreds of people were seen running from the station in panic. British Transport Police said there had been ‘a small contained explosion’ which is believed to have been caused by an e-cigarette which was in a bag at the station. No-one is believed to be injured. Police cars and ambulances were seen speeding towards the rail station in North London and people posted photos online showing them stuck inside the tube station. One witness, who asked to remain anonymous, told ‘I just saw hundreds of people running; it was crazy. Police were shouting at us all to get out, I have no idea what’s happened. I’ve never seen so many people running before.’ Search dogs examined the station to make sure it was safe, while the area was evacuated.

Opening Times: Lunch & Dinner Tuesday to Saturday. Sunday Lunch only and closed Monday. Tapas, light bites and a la carte always available We will be closing for the winter from 30th October so please come and see us before then!


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Evolution Of British Maths Teaching Oh how things have changed.... 1. Teaching Maths In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or £80. What is his profit? 3. Teaching Maths In 1990 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80. Did he make a profit? 4. Teaching Maths In 2000 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. 5. Teaching Maths In 2007 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the

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preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of 20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. ) 6. Teaching Maths 2017 أ المسجل تبيع جم وله شاجنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاجب تكلفة الانتاج من الثمن. ما هو الربج له؟

Sunday Roast of wine â‚Ź 8.50 Bookings recommended All Day English Breakfasts, Full Menu Open from 10am 6 days a week (closed Mondays) Karaoke every Saturday night (in 8 different languages)

Quiz Night every Thursday from 8:30pm

C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 544 362

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The Hair and Beauty Studio (keep up to date) Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel, (along from Morenos)

Call: 951 204 158 / 654 897 410

Menu del Dia - 6.95€ (Vegetarian 6.50€) Monday - Friday 12pm - 4pm - 3 courses (including vegetarian) Help yourself Buffet - Sundays Adults - 10.50€ Children under 10 - 5€ / 1pm - 4pm

Includes various starters, mains, vegetarian dishes, rice and bread

Special Menu Monday to Friday - 10.50€

Choice of starter, Choice of curry, Rice or Naan / Tea or Coffee Avda Andalucia, Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar

Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053

Open: 13.00 - 17.00 19.00 - 24.00 everyday (closed Tuesday evenings) TAJ Mahal Restaurant

Plumbing By Chris

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Call Chris on: 674 617 379 NO CALL OUT FEE!

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De Cotta Law Do’s and don’ts when buying property in Spain • Ensure that the legal title is checked and that the property can be sold free of any debts and charges • Establish with an independent lawyer if the property is fully licenced and that no administrative or legal sanctions are in place • In Spain there are debts which can be placed against the property such as Town Hall and Community of Owners’ fees, and it is important to find out if all of these debts will be cleared as part of the transaction to buy • Ensure that you have fulfilled the fiscal and legal requirements such as obtaining an NIE (fiscal identification number) • If you cannot be physically present for the purchase or sale it is best to appoint a lawyer to sign the public deeds on your behalf • Ensure with your advisers if you need an Inventory if you are buying furniture and contents in the property • If the property does not have all the necessary licences and is in a rural area, ensure that your lawyer has established who is going to complete this work and who will be responsible for costs and fees • Find out what charges and taxes you will have to pay when you go into possession of the property and ensure that these are paid annually • If you are selling, check what tax you would have to pay such as Capital Gains tax and local improvement tax – plus valia • When you have purchased a Spanish

property make sure you have a valid Spanish will to ensure that your spouse or beneficiaries can accept the inheritance • If you are leaving Spain to return to your home country you may be able to offset any Capital Gains tax with the purchase of a new residential home All of these things are important in ensuring you can enjoy your Spanish property and be able to sell or pass the property to your heirs in future. This list is not exhaustive, however, and each case is different particularly with rural properties. If you are buying or selling we offer a free first consultation to provide you with all the information you need. Call us on 952 527 014 or contact us on


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The Modern Woman Tips for the ladies in year 2017

They know me here..

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

2. If the shoe fits - buy one in every colour.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot, it solves nothing; and makes you walk funny.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila. 4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls! 5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days). 6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it. 7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality. 8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok.

11. When life gives you lemons - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka. 12. Remember every good looking, sweet, single male is someone else's ex-boyfriend!

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Monday - Thursday Day & Night (except Monday lunch) Poppadam & Pickles Selection of starters: vegetable samosa or pakora or onion bhaji or Prawn puri or Chicken tikka Main course: chicken, lamb, prawn or vegatable: Korma, Madras, Vindaloo, Balti, Jalfrezy, Rogan Josh, Tikka Masala, Karahi, Biriyani or Chicken or Lamb Tikka Accompaniments: Plain or Pilau rice or Plain, Garlic, Cheese or Onion Nan Bread or Chapati FREE Pappadam with Menu del Dia Tues-Fri 12pm - 4pm Takeaways available Mango Chutney & Pickle 3 courses €5.95 with veg. curry Free Pappadam & pickle Tray with all meals €6.95 with meat/prawn curry with takeaways

Opening Hours 12pm - 4pm and 6pm - 12am every day (closed Monday lunch) Puente don Manuel (Chiringuito Antonio) Tel: 952 510 886 Mob: 667 934 731

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Polar Air Conditioning- built on reputation, reliability and recommendation. Why go anywhere else? For more information call Peter now: 655 211 192 or email: (English, Spanish, German)


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Torrenigma - Escape Room - Torre del Mar After hearing that there were a couple of ‘Escape Rooms’ in Malaga and Gibraltar, I started preparing a group of friends for a road trip, but when I heard that one had opened on our doorstep here in Torre del Mar, I was even more excited and marched off to find it. I turned up at 10pm one night and enthusiastically banged on the door. I was greeted by a very friendly man called Juan who spoke Spanish and English and before I knew it, I had made an appointment. Excited was not the word! So at 10:30 one Saturday morning our party of six arrived. The game is for up to six players and only one group can play at any one time. Juan opened the doors, spot on time. On entering, Juan explained the rules and navigations to us in English and for those of us who had never done an Escape Room before, there was a distinct element of nervousness in the air. I could write for days about this experience but without giving too much away, for success it’s important to work within your team, listen to each other, assess what’s around you and most importantly, don’t give up! This was my first escape room and even though we did not make it out within the one-hour time frame this time, it certainly won’t be my last attempt — I am now officially well and truly addicted. This is what my team mates said about their experience: “I went bored and not very excited at all, but that all changed when I entered the room,” said Tony. “It totally takes you over and enthralls you. I was determined to help my team out. It’s absolutely brilliant. It was my first Escape Room but definitely won’t be the last!”

“It just leaves you wanting to do more,” said Rachelle. “There was a fabulous Gamesmaster on hand with tips and encouragement — it was an amazing experience which I would definitely recommend.” Eddie was also enthusiastic. “Having had so many let-downs previously, it was an absolute delight to find an Escape Room on our doorstep,” he said. “It was very intriguing and superb for team building. It kept me thinking and interested all the way through and I will definitely recommend it to others. I will also do it again as it’s great entertainment.” “It’s absolutely brilliant,” said Charlie. “We had a great time. It was very well organised and quite challenging — we didn’t make it unfortunately but still really enjoyed it.” “The clues and puzzles kept us guessing right until the end,” added Raine. “There were tense moments but also lots of laughs and a great sense of achievement after each solved puzzle.” If you would like to book the Escape Room ‘Torrenigma’, C/Isidoro Rivas, 3, Torre del Mar (down the side road of sports shop Base) see Facebook page Torrenigma or call Juan on 691 912 630. He speaks English and Spanish.



Lovely apartment close to the beach recently refurbished with 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, living/dining room with kitchen, communal parking, tennis court and swimming pool. Nice mountain views. Sold partly furnished PRICE 120,000€

Long term rental: Completely refurbished townhouse first line to the beach. Divided into 3 floors: 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, a toilet, living/dining room, kitchen & patio. Large bright terrace with sunbeds & table with chairs. A balcony. Fantastic sea views PRICE 700€ per month

REF: 6526 - VILLA - BENAMARGOSA - 200m2

REF: 6568 - FINCA - SEDELLA - 140m2

Superb villa with sea & mountain views just 20 minutes from the coast. 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a lounge, separate kitchen & dining room, private pool, bbq area, south facing, garden, a/c, electric heating, partly furnished. Sold partly furnished. PLOT 6,800m2 - PRICE 295,000€

Private country house with great views to the mountain. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, living/dining room, private pool with bbq, several terraces, garden & tropical trees, a/c, electric heating. Sold fully furnished PLOT 7,900m2 - PRICE 210,000€


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Female Lingo Six words women use... 1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the footie match before helping around the house. 3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. 4) Go Ahead: This is a dare – not permission. Don't do it! 5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by

men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. 6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. It means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

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Monday - Friday (except holidays) Easy Parking Take away Opening Times - 12.00 - 16.00 / 18.30 - 23.30 Avenida Andalucia, 35 Bajo ALGARROBO COSTA

Tel: 952 551 439 Mobile: 673 160 208

Asiatico Feng

IZZI&CAPELLI Located on the sea front in Torre del Mar, close to the Bandstand. IZZI&CAPELLI is the sister salon to the Hair & Beauty Salon in Puente don Manuel. Same quality products and staffed by Professionals offering all aspects of hair and nail treatments Hair experts qualified to the highest standards in hairdressing with state of the art styling techniques including Balayage and the exclusive Sweet Hair Straightening system Enjoy our UNIQUE HAIR SPA ROOM where you can relax in a tranquil environment whilst having various treatments such as a head massage, deep hair conditioner, hot towel treatment and now ExPRESS FACIALS!!! Qualified, experienced and artistic Nail Technicians offering all aspects of nail care and up to date methods, to perfect a lasting look of your choice. OPEN TUESDAYS TO FRIDAYS 10am - 6pm and SATURDAYS 10am - 3pm (Late appointments by prior arrangement)

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Find us on facebook @IZZICAPELLI Telephone: 952 965 646 or 685 430 621 Paseo Maritimo de Poniente 17, Torre del Mar, 29740 Opposite the Bandstand, close to the Lighthouse and Tennis Courts


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es l d i r t n Wor u o C he Of T

list -Z is A d nd rl wo rld a e... e o th op w nd the n Eur u in si r ro ou uchy ntrie n i D u 107 and t co ber ly Gr alles m Nu e on e sm h h is t e of t on


Population - 523,000 Language - French, German Located - Central Europe Capital - Luxembourg Currency - euro Religion - Christian Main Exports - Steel products Literacy Rate - 100% Life Expectancy - 80 years G.D.P. Per Capita - US $77,390 Total Area - 2,586 sq km National Sport - Football

Interesting Facts... With roots stretching back to the 10th century, Luxembourg's history is closely intertwined with that of its more powerful neighbours, especially Germany. The only country with a higher Gross Domestic Product per capita than Luxembourg is Qatar. Due to its banking secrecy laws, Luxembourg has attained the reputation of a tax haven. Luxembourg has three official languages: French, German and Luxemburgish. Around 346,000 people around the world speak Luxembourgish. Nearly 40 per cent of the population of Luxembourg are immigrants; 15 per cent of them are of Portuguese origin. When giving someone flowers in Luxembourg it is customary to give an odd number, but not 13. The motto of the Luxembourg is ‘Mir wëlle bleiwe wat mir sinn’ which stands for ‘We want to remain what we are’.

Myriam Eppele (+34) 635 816 717

Vélez –Málaga Ref: 1705T322

Spacious townhouse comprising 4 beds, 3 baths a huge kitchen, lots of outside space and panoramic views. Only a few minutes walk from the centre of town and 30 mins drive from Málaga airport. Must be seen!! Price: 150,000€

Torre del Mar Ref: 1708A308

Opportunity: Apartment close to the seafront in Paseo Maritimo. 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lovely terrace. Community pool, partly furnished. All amenities in walking distance Price: 158,000€


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Industrial Estate TUvESA

All major debit and credit cards accepted



1ST SUNDAY OF EVERY MONTH (excluding January & August)

Should the market be cancelled due to bad weather, it will be held the following Sunday

Restaurant El Pantano (On the A356 towards Colmenar, km 30 overlooking the lake)

9.30am - 1pm The Restaurant offers their very wide variety of TAPAS served with homemade chips, salad relish and caña for 1.50€


Call: 619 471 301

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Poetry Corner We loved this poem so much it was time to print it again The Spanish Five Minutes The other day I made a phone call, Action I wished them to take, Pretty music answered, It sounded like a wake. When at last a voice came, It was a pleasant surprise, Things were looking up, My hopes began to rise. They listened to my problem, Then they hummed and aah'd, Could they sort out a delivery, It wasn't all that hard. A few more minutes waiting, Oh no, that music again, Things were getting annoying, A right bloody pain. Then a subtle voice, Like gently twittering linnets "Leave it to me Sir" I ring back in five minutes. I waited and I waited, I've looked at it from all ways, I've come to a decision, Five minutes in Espaùa Means Five Bloody days. Well that’s Spain innit! By Peter C Allinson, Salobrena

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Cool Knockbacks For when the man you really don’t fancy tries chatting you up HE: Can I buy you a drink? SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money. HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours. SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours. HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice. HE: How did you get to be so beautiful? SHE: I must've been given your share. HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday? SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend. HE: Your face must turn a few heads. SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me? SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time. HE: Shall we go see a movie? SHE: I've already seen it. HE: Where have you been all my life? SHE: Hiding from you. HE: Haven't I seen you some place before? SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.


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Halloween - 31st October Fun Facts Halloween is on October 31st, the last day of the Celtic calendar. It was originally a pagan holiday, honoring the dead. Halloween was referred to as All Hallows Eve and dates back to over 2000 years ago

harvest and black is associated with darkness and death Samhainophobia is the fear of Halloween Fifty percent of kids prefer to receive chocolate candy for Halloween, compared with 24% who prefer non-chocolate candy and 10% who preferred gum The largest pumpkin ever measured was grown by Norm Craven, who broke the world record in 1993 with a 836 lb. pumpkin Trick-or-treating evolved from the ancient Celtic tradition of putting out treats and food to placate spirits who roamed the streets at Samhain, a sacred festival that marked the end of the Celtic calendar year The game bobbing for apples is thought to have originated from the roman harvest festival that honors Pamona, the goddess of fruit trees

The first Jack O’ Lanterns were actually made from turnips Michael Myers' mask in the movie Halloween was the face of William Shatner The film "Halloween" was made in only 21 days in 1978 on a very limited budget Halloween is the second highest grossing commercial holiday after Christmas Orange and black are Halloween colours because orange is associated with the Fall Ireland is typically believed to be the birthplace of Halloween Halloween was brought to North America by immigrants from Europe who would celebrate the harvest around a bonfire, share ghost stories, sing, dance and tell fortunes If you see a spider on Halloween, it is the spirit of a loved one watching over you

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Plumbing and Tiling Axarquia

Slightly less able to climb in and out the bath? Why not remove the bath and install a luxury shower?

Folding shower seats - Anti-slip trays - Walk-in showers

30 years of 1st Class Installations Call / Whats-app / Text Chris on: 674 617 379 E-Mail:

chiringuito - Bio Restaurant Cafe / Lounge

Bio-organic vegetables and salads

Beautiful restaurant right on the beach

CHIKI BEACH CLUB Paseo Maritimo Mezquitilla 666 293 166 (just over the bridge CHIKI BEACH CLUB at Algarrobo Costa) WWW.CHIKIBEACHCLUB.COM CHIKIBEACHCLUB@GMAIL.COM

Cta. Almeria 194, Benajarafe If you have a property to sell or would like to buy your dream home, please do not hesitate to visit us for details of how we can help! 952 436 781 / Mobile: 609 436 537 email:

AA036 450,000€ Riogordo NEW LISTING! Immaculate 3 bed 2 bath villa set in 30,000m2 completely private, fenced grounds

AD049 265,000€ Comares NEW LISTING! Stunning 3 bed 2 bath villa of 130m2 with wonderful pool and amazing views across the Axarquia

RAL001 85,000€ Riogordo OFFERS CONSIDERED! 2 bed Townhouse in the centre of Riogordo

AS1768 74,950€ AM007 189,500€ AD047 126,000€ Colmenar Benajarafe Cómpeta NEW PRICE! NEW LISTING! NEW LISTING! Detached country Nice 2 bedroom Beautiful 280m2 house situated in the 1 shower room house beautiful natural park apartment in in Cómpeta area of Colmenar Benajarafe

Take a break from the coast and discover rural inland Spain

Casa El Castaño is situated midway and just over an hour from the historic and beautiful cities of Granada and Córdoba and two hours from Málaga. Casa El Castaño is sat on a hilltop surrounded by rolling olive groves Tel: 663 272 330 Email: 8.4km on JA3300 between Martos and Los Villares in the Jaén province Casa Rural CR/JA/00310

Nick Britton Tel: 642 151 366 Email:

ToTal RefoRms

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Repairs, replacements & reforms

Registered British Builder Over 25 years experience - 10 years in Spain Free no obligation quotes References available TEL: 642 151 366 Email:


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Linea Directa International Insurance Card The Green Card or International Insurance Card is an internationally recognised document that proves the holder has the minimum compulsory insurance required by law of the country visited. It helps facilitate the movement of their vehicle across international borders. It also guarantees that victims of road traffic accidents involving foreign registered vehicles are compensated in the country of the accident. The Green Card System The Green Card System comprises of over 40 countries. National vehicle organisations within the Green Card System including the EU, the EEA, Switzerland, Russia and several countries around the Middle East and North Africa. However, a Green Card is not required to travel through the EEA, Andorra, Norway, Croatia and Switzerland. The Green Card Bureau Each Green Card Bureau is responsible for handling and guaranteeing the settling of claims arising from traffic accidents caused by visiting motorists. Travelling outside the EU If you are travelling outside the European Community to one of the countries listed as

requiring a Green Card, you will need to ask your insurance company to issue you a Green Card beforehand. Road accident If you’re involved in a road traffic accident in a country requiring a Green Card, make sure the police are called to the scene of the accident. You will need a copy of the police report. If you don’t understand what you’re being told, request an interpreter. We also advise that you contact your insurance company as soon as possible, whether you want to make a claim or not. Make notes of what happened. Take photographs of the accident, including plates of vehicles involved. Exchange insurance details as you would in Spain. Take down the names and addresses of any witnesses. Never admit liability or apologise. We hope the information provided in this article is of interest. If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 952 147 834 More information about Linea Directa online at

IPTV with all the channels you could wish for and more! UK HD TV and EXTRA SPORTS PACK - All major channels

ER !!l not happy? F F O   N AUTUM fter box and stil V to the Costa

xa mT uying bo t brought 25€ p b f o p u Fed o firs AIN ople wh e p e h BOX AG t A EE Y U From B x FR o  b NEVER V T mag IP 254/255 ith a t s e t la he iption w r T c s b u E s . FRE yearly uarantee u ta k e a g o k y c n a e b h w oney 100% m E L B IB NOQU

Our IPTV service has over 130 TV channels, over 3,000 movies with more being added all the time, and hundreds of Box Sets!

All for €25 per month Sky, BT, BBC, ITV, CH4, CH5 and 100’s more! Full catch up on all major channels Less than 2mb needed, Record and Pause Live TV If you want to find out more or want to order with fast delivery and setup, just give us a call or email us

You can contact us on: +34 616 978 788 Email:-

We can advertise your property on Rightmove Overseas - Call now! Tel: 618 295 063 Office: 951 067 711 From the UK: 0844 7744860

Specialists In Property Sales · Rentals · Management Calle Pizarras 40d, Viñuela Tel: 666 135 516 / 691 341 268

Turning Dreams Into Reality Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 554 / 680 210 414 Calle Puente Don Manuel 20 951 321 565 / 627 181 929

Country and Village Houses For Sale Office/Home: +34 952 55 77 33 Mobile: +34 606 010 580

We can help you to purchase your dream home Tel: 952 436 781 / 609 436 537 Ctra. Almeria 194, Benajarafe

SALES & RENTALS We Urgently Require Properties Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306 / 606 087 362 Calle Dr Fleming, 1 Nerja. 29780

Estate Agents! Quick Reference Page Call: 664 210 468 or email: for more information


Deutsche Bäckerei German Bakery

Opening Hours: Monday - Saturday 7.30am - 1pm Sundays & Bank Holidays 8am - 11am

Pies and cakes for every occasion. Typical German pastry f.e. Pretzel, Crumble Cake, Rye bread and a lot more!!!

Every week New Offers!

Tel: 636 153 459

Avda. America, Blq 85, Local 2, TORROX COSTA DIE Deutsche Bäckerei Torrox

For more information call us on: Paco & Antonia 952 535 417 :: 646 75 24 63 Or email us at: Or visit our website at:





Jam Sessions Mondays from 8pm BBQ Evenings Mon, Tues, Wed, Fri & Sat

6pm - 8.30pm Karaoke Thursdays from 9pm Check out facebook for Live Music and Parties Open Mon - Sat 3pm - 10pm Avda. America, Rear of Blq 89, Torrox Costa

Market Lighthouse

Complete glasses from 49€, Including test and measurements Avenida Garcia Penalver, Edf. 79 Local 12, TORROX COSTA Opposite the main Bus Station Torrox

Call: 952 00 07 17

Tel: 952 967 358

Beauty Therapy Complementary Therapy

TORROX COSTA Unisex Professional hairdresser with experience in two of the most top named hair salons in Nerja Erica has now opened her own salon in Torrox Costa!!! Erica Villegas. Erica will give you a very warm welcome and is fluent in English and is Spanish speaking. Facebook: Erica Villegas Estilistas Torrox Costa/E-mail: C/Centro Internacional - Bq77-nr. 2. Call: 610 876 127 Tejidos Belen specialists in cushions, pillows, accessories, interior and exterior decoration. We repair your sofas and terrace furniture to measure. Call 952 531 732 or 50 964 624 Pol. Cortijo Amaya Nave 13 Torrox Costa. The German Bakery have been 10 years in Torrox. They offer a wide range of products eg: German bread, rolls, pasteries, cakes, sandwiches, sweet snacks & fresh coffee. The bakery offers daily fresh bread & bakery products. Orders can be placed by phone, email or sms. Be prepared for Birthdays and special occasion cakes. Special orders can be made as late as two days notice. Our products are made from the finest of ingredients which allows you to enjoy a healthy balanced diet. We only use natural products without flavouring or additivies. We have something for everyone, & special rates for events and functions. The Torrox Concert Piano Bar renowned for it’s Music & Laughter! Live Music, Coffee, Drinks, Cocktails, Exhibitions & Fashion. There are different activities in such a unique meeting place! Bookings are advisable on 648 746 873. Open Everyday 10.30am - 7.30pm, Closed Tuesday. Avda. America, Blq 85, Torrox Costa. Raza Hotel have excellent facilities for your Dog, Cat or Rabbit, the perfect Hotel for your pets while you are away. In the countryside your dogs can enjoy secure outdoor play areas with toys provided & kennels with indoor sleeping area & outside run. For Cats, large catteries with cosy beds, toys & activities to keep them occupied. The Raza Hotel also offer a safe place to leave your Rabbit or Parrot as well as providing dog grooming services. Open 10am-7pm, 7 days a week. If you would like to visit, Paco & Antonio would be happy to show you the facilities. For more info call: 952 52 5417, 646 75 24 63, or email: or visit the Fischhaus - Nordsee Fish Deli Weekly fresh deliveries from the North Sea Coast. Smoked fish from our own Smokehouse in Torrox. Salmon breakfast every day from 10am. Open Mon - Fri 10am - 7pm and closed Saturday and Sunday. Kitchen open until 6.30pm. Tel: 637 041 155 to find out more. Why not pay Cafeteria Maria a visit? Along with coffee, they sell Homemade German Cakes, Fresh Waffles, Smoothies Fresh Juices. You will find them at Avenida Esperanto, Local 31, opposite Supersol, Torrox Costa. Tel: 604 102 964 Contact Lewis Insurance Services for reputable buildings & contents insurance, car insurance, private medical insurance, pets insurance, funeral plans, cars bought & sold, call Mark on 653 322 392 Nandos - Tasca The bar with everything! Mondays from 8pm Jam Session. Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays BBQ from 6pm - 8.30pm.Thursdays Karaoke from 9pm. They have Live Music events and different kinds of parties. They are located around the back of Blq. 89 in Avda. America Torrox Costa Call: 952 96 73 58 Calzados Pradas for real leather shoes made in Spain! Avd. El Faro No. 2. Call: 609 526 912 or email: A great Nepali and Indian Restaurant in Torrox Costa, Buddha House. A modern restaurant with classic dishes and Buddha House specials. Closed on Monday. Ctra. El Penoncillo 11, Torrox Costa. See FB page Buddhahouse Torrox Costa.


Want a complete set of glasses from just 49€ including test & measurements? Come to Optica Funes and see!! They are located in Avenida Garcia Penalver, Edf. 79, Local 12, TORROX COSTA opposite the main bus station. Call: 952 000 717 for more information Rebeccah Curtis Wellbeing Centre Urb. Laguna Beach, Centro Commercial B, No. 16 Torrox Costa. Open Tuesday - Saturday 10am - 6pm. Tel: 952 53 01 22 &  651 956 284 Costa Torrox Garden Centre for all your gardening requirements. Plants, Fruit Trees, Ceramics, Bonsai Trees, Compost, Pest Control, Flowerpots, Garden Sundries & much more! You’ll find them on the road to Torrox from the motorway next to Lidl in Torrox Costa. Open Monday - Saturday 9am-2pm and 4pm-7pm and on Sunday 10am-2pm. Find them on facebook: /costatorrox or visit Have you been to Caribe on the Paseo Maritimo, a fantastic location with uninterrupted views of the Mediterranean? Enjoy delicious food with menu del Dia 7.50€-2 courses or 9.50€-3 courses includes a drink per person (beer, wine or soft drink. They have a special offer homemade cakes & a coffee-3€ & fantastic homemade gateaus & a new 3 chocolate gateau to enjoy, great with a delicious coffee. Fresh fish cooked Andalucían style, pizzas, value meals such as Pinchitos de Cerdo de Pollo only 5.50€. Paella is available from 1.30pm everyday (pre-orders only), includes a soft drink or small beer or glass of wine, bread, Alioli. Takeaway-available. Caribe can even cater for weddings & birthday parties with celebratory cakes made to order. all in to find out more. Closed on Thursday’s. Start your Christmas Shopping and visit The Christmas Fayre at La Tabla on the 2nd floor in the Commercial Centre, Torrox Park on Saturday 11th November 11am - 3pm. A range of new and artisan stalls. Raffles in aid of Cudeca. A great day out. Call Rachael on 662 063 987 or email:

We speak English

Plants, Fruit Trees, Ceramics, Pest Control, Bonsai, Compost, Flowerpots, Garden Sundries

On the road to Torrox, next to Lidl Torrox Costa Facebook - /costatorrox Monday - Saturday 9am - 2pm / 4pm - 7pm Sunday 10am - 2pm

Welcome to Buddha House, a modern Nepali & Indian restaurant with classic dishes and Buddha House specialities Ctra El Peñoncillo 11, Torrox Costa (Easy Parking in front) Torrox Costa Open 12:30 - 15:30 and 18:30 - 23:30 (Closed Monday lunch) 10% discount on takeaways Tel: 952 53 09 21 / 602 817 658 Email: Buddhahouse Torrox Costa

ESTRELLA RENTALS Algarrobo Costa Block Montevideo, 3 Tel: 0034 952 511 209 Email: www. We speak English, German & Spanish


All range of cars: Basic, Medium, Automatic and 7 seater cars

Delivery & collection at Málaga airport or at your location



Laguna Beach

Torrox Costa

Bar y Restaurante Breakfasts, Snacks & Full Menu - Specialising in Ribs, Wings, Steaks & Chicken - Traditional Sunday Lunch Homemade Tapas available every day changing daily - 1€

SPECIAL!! (pre-order only)

Pork Knuckles

10am - 3pm / 6pm - Late / Thurs & Fri Special menus Sunday 1pm - 5pm (bookings advisable) Closed Wednesday For more info call: Thomas or Kerstin

Please note new number: 642 598 217


El Peñoncillo Tel: 952 532 587 Consultancy X-Rays Operating Room Hospital Shop Grooming Training Home Visits Collection Service Clinica Veterinaria La Caleta Avda. Andalucia 126 Tel: 952 55 10 10 Clinica Veterinaria Algarrobo Costa Avda. Andalucia Local 8 Tel: 952 51 18 21

El Peñoncillo Torrox Costa

Clinica Veterinaria Competa Avda. de Torrox Tel: 952 55 33 60 Clinica Veterinaria Puente don Manuel Edif. Alzabel, Bajo 1 Tel: 951 16 76 66

Clinica Veterinaria


Gardening Services

General maintenance Painting - interior/exterior Window cleaning


Sunday Lunch Roast Beef, Gammon or Chicken ONLY 6.50€!!! Large Cod, Chips & Peas all day only 5€!!

Free no obligation quotes

Call: 662 211 521

Live Sports on 3 screens Thursday Quiz Night at 8:30pm MINI BOCADILLOS with crisps - eat in or take away from 11am Thurs 2nd main filling FREE


Mon & Weds Buy 2 get 1 FREE

1€ Open Mon - Fri 11am - Late Sat & Sun 12 noon - Late

Located behind Tourist Information Office/Library

Torrox Costa

Tel: 617 506 550

Bianca Bojahr


Dr. Carlos Castillo GP and Paediatrician

Dr. Arielle Perkins Family Medicine

Your health partner

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Lda. Mª. Patrocinio Haro López

General Medicine Paediatrics Acupuncture Physiotherapy / Osteopathy Urologist and Traumatologist Other Specialists


Dr. Guillermo Caleffa Ear Nose and Throat Doctor

Dr. Daniel Gaitán Cardiologist

We Speak English, German & French

Dr. Joaquin Mut

Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08 Please call for more information or send an

e-mail: or Visit our website:

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Dental Surgery Cosmetic Dentistry Implantologist Surgery Complete Dental Clinic Modernisation International Standards of Sterilisation (as always)

Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08


Dr. Federico Merino Plastic surgery

General surgery Andalucian Surgical Institute

English Dentist: Dr. Michael Mannish B.D.S. (univ. London) Harley St. Cosmetic Dentist of 25 yrs.

Free check up & 2nd opinion

Jose Antonio Gonzales Maxillofacial surgeon

Please call for more information or send an The best English/Spanish e-mail: Team for your dental health or website:

THE TOWN FRIER Traditional Fish & Chips take away Mick and Andrea welcome you! All your traditional  favourites inc. Kebabs, Pies, Sausage, etc. Cooked freshly to order We now serve  Southern Fried Chicken, Popcorn Chicken, Zinger Burgers, etc. You must try!!! SHADED TERRACE

Telephone orders welcome Tel: 951 998 571 / 608 531 601 Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel

Opening times: Tues, Wed, Thurs 12pm - 9pm Fri 12pm - 10pm Sat 12pm - 4pm Closed Monday & Sunday

MOSQUITO SCREENS Mosquitos, Flies, Wasps, Moths, etc...

Keeps 99% of flying insects OUT!

Sliding or rollers, our Screens are made to measure for any type of window or door "We will beat any genuine like for like quotation. All our products are made in Spain"

Call Steve: 653 303 698

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Saucy Postcards



Calle Granada, 88 NERJA Tel: 952 52 4651

24 HOURS 606 939 929

CHATELIN ORTOPEDIA & CHIROPODIST/PEDICURA wCorsets & knee, ankle and wrist supports

wWheelchairs, walking aids & beds

wFor all inlays (inc. Sports)

wRehabilitaion articles, etc.

Opening Hours: Monday - Thursday 10am - 2pm / 3pm - 6pm Calle la Cruz, 60 Nerja Tel: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857 Email:

E R J A restaurant - bar

Belgian specialities 40 different Belgian beers Calle Gloria, 9 Nerja +34 666 625 694






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La llave de oro, C/Granada 88, Nerja, 952 524 651. Locksmith 24 hrs emergency service, 606 939 929, opening and repairing safes, armoured doors, authorised technical service, key cutting, supplier for quality padlocks, safes and other security products. Chatelin ortopedia & chiropodist/pedicura practice we are a company with over 30 years experience in the orthopedic sector. Linda is a qualified chiropodist and Henry is a certified prothesis and orthesis maker, for all your inlays and sport inlays, corset-knee, ankle and wrist supports, wheelchairs, walking aids, beds, rehabilitation articles Monday - Thursday 10am - 2pm and 3pm - 6pm. call: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857 Visit Ink & Chips on C/ Antonio Ferrandis, 27. They have all you need for your PC, such as ink cartridges & peripherals as well as laptop & printer sales. They also offer a technical service 365 days a year. Belga, Our chef is committed to a philosophy of quality food sourcing, with an emphasis on seasonal, local and artisan ingredients. Nick keeps the art of real cooking alive, preparing dishes from scratch with the best ingredients, to bring you real taste and real value. We also have 40 different Belgian beers. DentadanĂŠs Dental Clinic offer top-quality Scandinavian dental care at competitive prices-a successful concept that has been used since the clinic was established in Maro (Nerja) in 1991. We have two Danish dentists (one female, one male) ready to solve all your dental problems. Please visit our website at for a full list of treatments & prices as well as directions to & pictures of the clinic. Open Mon -Friday 10am-5pm including all summer months. We speak English, Danish/Scandinavian, German, Spanish, French & Italian. Tel: 952 52 96 66. Starcar in Nerja for all your car repair needs: bodywork painting, service, pre I.T.V. check, air-conditioning, tyres, brakes, clutch etc. Also car transfers. Find them at Avda Alcalde Antonio Villasclaras just up from the BP garage as you are leaving Nerja on the right hand side and they are below the gym. Call Jonathan who speaks English on 637 801 325

For all your healthy foods and natural remedies. The Health Shop Rincon Natural C/Carretera1, Local 2, Edificio Armijo III Nerja, next to Supersol, beside Barclays Bank. Stocking gluten free products, Organic food, Natural remedies and Natural skincare products. They also do Crystal Healings and Cranio Sacral Therapy. Tel: 952 52 35 03 Olas Bar Sports Calender for October 2017 Football 5th - 9th World Cup Qualifiers. 12th, 17th & 18th, 31st & 1st Nov. Champions League group matches. 19th & 2nd Nov Europa League group matches. Premier league programme on weekends of 1st, 14th, 20th & 28th. Scottish Premier programme 14th, 21st, 28th. Formula One 8th - Japanese Grand Prix, Suzuki 22nd - US Grand Prix, Austin 29th - Mexican Grand Prix, Mexico City Golf 5th-8th - Alfred Dunhill Links Championship, St Andrews, Scotland 5th-8th - Safeway Open, Silverado Resort and Spa, US 12th- 15th - Italian Open, Golf Club Milano, Italy 12th-15th - CIMB Classic, TPC Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia 19th-22nd - Andalucia Valderrama Master, Valderrama GC, Spain 19th-22nd - CJ Cup at Nine Bridges, Nine Bridges, Korea 26th- 29th - Sandersons Farm Chamionship, CC of Jackson, US 26th- 29th - World Golf Championship, Sheshan International GC, China Locked yourself out of your house or having lock problems? Call the 24 hour emergency locksmith, a fully qualified UK C&G tradesman. Or, simply call to book an appointment. Missing the UK? Best of British have all your food, drinks, confectionary, etc. All your favourites under one roof. Open Monday - Friday 10am - 2pm and 4pm - 6pm and Saturday 10am - 2pm. Calle Los Huertos, Nerja. Find us on facebook on britishfoodshopspain Need a cake for that special occasion? Whether it be a wedding, your best friend’s birthday or even a spontaneous weekend treat, here at Designer cakes by Margaret we put our gourmet skills and unlimited creativity to work until each piece is a work of art made to make your special day unforgettable. Call: 645 953 572 or email:


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

Top Tips Wise words mate! Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone. Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. Always poo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it. :) 

Great Game Show Answers These great questions and answers are from the days when 'Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions Q. Do female frogs croak? A. If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. True or false, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you a man or a woman? A. That's what's been keeping me awake.

Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying it in the first place.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. No. Wait until morning.

Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The morning after, you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'? A. I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.

Q. You've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Of course not! I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Fool next door into thinking you have more stairs than them by banging your feet twice on each stair.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Tape measures.


Apartment - Townhouse - Villa


Key holding - Laundry - Gardening - Meet & Greet

All aspects of Hair and Nail treatments plus a Brow Bar


Torre del Mar Pammy: 674 597 984

Rumours Hair & Beauty Puente don Manuel

Where style is created

Call: 951 232 881 Email: rumourshairsalon

Torre del Mar

Find us on facebook @IZZICAPELLI

Telephone: 952 965 646 or 685 430 621

DESIGNER CAKES Tel: 645 953 572

by Margaret NERJA

designercakesmargaret Weddings Margaret

We are looking for teachers. English, German and French. Full & Part time positions available with contracts

Call Rebeca on: 673 68 41 94 C/Antonio Millon, Edf. PeĂąaflor, Bajo 1, NERJA


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

The Secret To A Long Marriage It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

shopping, be honest, be very rich, not stress her out, not look at other girls

A friend, a companion, a lover, a brother, a father, a master, a chef, an electrician, a carpenter, a plumber, a mechanic, a decorator, a stylist, a sexologist, a gynecologist, a psychologist, a pest exterminator, a psychiatrist, a healer, a good listener, an organiser, a good father, very clean, sympathetic, athletic, warm, attentive, gallant, intelligent, funny, creative, tender, strong, understanding, tolerant, prudent, ambitious, capable, courageous, determined, true, dependable, passionate, compassionate

And at the same time, you must also:

Without forgetting to:

Now that seems fair doesn’t it? It’s all about compromise!

Give her compliments regularly, love

Give her lots of attention but expect little yourself, give her lots of time, especially time for herself, give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes, It is very important: Never to forget: birthdays, anniversaries, arrangements that she makes. And to make a man happy, the woman needs to: 1. turn up naked 2. bring him alcohol 3. give him the remote

Every Sunday 1pm to 4pm - Help yourself Buffet 10.50â‚Ź per person Open every day 1pm - 4pm & 6pm - Midnight (From January we will be closed all day Monday) Barriada Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin Tel: 952 510 963 Mob: 616 942 212 Email: www:

Turning Dreams into Reality

Puente don Manuel

For Sale


Immaculate 3 Bed 2 Bath Villa (131m² built, 488m² plot), in a very popular location with bars, restaurants and shops all in walking distance and only a 20 minute drive to the beach. Accommodation: entrance hall, spacious lounge/dining room, f/f kitchen, 3 double beds (one with terrace), 2 bathrooms & integral garage, well established gardens with various fruit trees and terraces to all 4 sides of the property. There is a fabulous large covered terrace overlooking the pool and with mountain views

La Viñuela

Sales Price: 199,950€ (NEW!) For Sale


Beautiful 2 Bed Country House (82m² built, 2,000m² plot), 5 minute walk to the village of La Viñuela. The accommodation comprises a spacious living room, a lovely kitchen, 2 large bedrooms and a family bathroom. It also has a spacious terrace and lots of outside space, driveway, ample parking with wonderful views of the village and the mountains

Sales Price: 105,000€ (REDUCED BY 15,000€!)

Long-term Rental Properties Urgently Required We have Clients queuing up to Rent! Please call us for a FREE Listing Torre del Mar office: Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, (opposite bus station)

Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414

Puente don Manuel office: Enquire Calle Puente Don Manuel 20, about

(Next to Meson Sara Restaurant) our next FREE Tel: 951 321 565 / 627 181 929 Legal Clinic

Turning Dreams into Reality


For Sale


Fabulous 2 Bed 2 Bath Country Villa (115m² built, 1,000m² plot), close to Sedella, good access, amazing views. Accommodation: spacious open plan lounge/dining room (with open fire) & new f/f kitchen with beamed ceilings, 2 double beds, a large family bathroom plus shower room en-suite to master bedroom. Outside are covered and open terraces, an internal terrace of 50m², a wonderful roof terrace, beautiful gardens, ceiling fans & gas central heating

Sales Price: 149,950€ (NEW!) Torre del Mar For Sale


2 Bed Penthouse (90m² built), central to

all Torre del Mar amenities, spacious lounge, new fully-fitted kitchen, 2 double bedrooms one of which has its own balcony and new family bathroom. This property is priced to sell

Sales Price: 87,500€ (NEW!) Torre del Mar For Rent


3 Bed Apartment (80m² built), 4th floor, modern, very central and yet quiet residential area. The kitchen is fully fitted with brand new silver units. The lounge has an area for dining and the balcony has been closed in for more space. There are 3 double bedrooms and a very stylish shower room. At present the apartment is unfurnished but, the owner is planning to furnish it; currently available as either unfurnished or furnished

Rental Price: 550€ per month


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an ar y b r U tion Dic

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nar tio - K c i e d ses nlin phra o d ed urc ds an o s r d wo row

Ac K-Fed Stupid nickname for Britney's gold digger of a husband who looks like a grown-up version of the banjo-playing little boy from Deliverance

Kazaa Gives you more virus's than the U.S have dropped on Vietnam. It'll cost more to fix your computer than you'll save on songs. Don’t bother unless you have broadband and update your anti-virus every weekend. I even know a few hackers who don’t even bother using kazaa for sending them. Summary: DONT BOTHER Kicks 1. Shoes 2. Doing something for fun

Kewl A stupid way of spelling “cool”. Made up by morons

Kiss The sweetest thing a guy can do without being an arse

Kami (The editor & owner of this little mag)

Kawaii An adjective in Japanese meaning "pretty; cute; lovely; charming; dear; darling; pet" It's stem is two kanji meaning "can love". It is commonly used by anime and manga fans

Kik A messaging app that was designed for messaging people but has been ruined by society since all people do is beg people for nude pics. There are some scenarios where the man/woman is so desperate that they fake their identity so that they have an easier chance of naked pictures (i.e. a 45 year old man who pretends to be a 16 year old girl to receive either guy or girl naked photos)

KYS Means kill yourself.. (Not so nice) Kanye’d When you steal someone's moment of glory/recognition

K The text you receive from your girlfriend, really meaning "f*** you"

Kook A person regarded as strange, eccentric, or crazy.

Ku Klux Klan A bunch of retarded white guys that wear pillow cases and bed sheets on there heads, who they are also racist and are mostly made up of red necks

Kenneth A fat, adorable and chubby boy

Kill To make one un-alive

Kid 1. Being a kid is the greatest thing ever. Garden hopping, being clueless about many things, getting away with anything because of your age, being immature, laughing all day, sleepovers, not giving a damn about how you look, not having to work. Be a kid forever, it’s worth it

KFC PETA said that the main ingredient in KFC chicken is cruelty. Cruelty must taste god damn good Kinky Foot-sucking, rubber wearing, pee on me, candlewax drippin', long fingernail scrapin', tossed salad eatin', multiple partner havin', she-male, oil-drenched, chocolate sauce, whipped cream covered, vibrator usin', dress-up, banned in 30 states type of sex

Key Kilogram, usually refering to narcotics.

2. The result unprotected sex of a male and a female of the same species; Also can be known as offspring and brats

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Male Or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated. HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their bottom.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.. (ain't that the truth). WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

Male or Female?


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Paragliding - Make Your Dreams Come True!

Paragliding is an experience that can lead to a new hobby, and popular opinion is that everyone should give it a go at least once in their lifetime. Here are a couple of reviews from very happy flyers! “As someone who suffers from vertigo, paragliding had never been my natural choice of fun activity — until I was recommended to Antonio,” says Mark Appleton. “From the moment I met him, his inimitable sense of humour and desire for fun made me feel immediately at ease. “But don’t be fooled — Antonio is a professional: meticulous with the preparation of all the excellent equipment and also making sure the conditions are as good as they can be before confirming a flight. He also prides himself in presenting clear instructions, making sure no stone is left unturned before you push off the side of that mountain. “The flight down to the beach in Almuñecar is breathtaking and Antonio guides you all the way down, making sure you take sufficient selfies in the process to record the memory, and pointing out anything of interest. It was an unforgettable experience, and one I would recommend to all — beginner and experienced alike.” -----------------------------------------------------------“We were in La Herradura when my daughter saw several paragliders soaring over the hills towards Punta de la Mona,” says Stephan Mills. “I would love to try that,” my daughter announced, to which I replied, “If you want to do it, I'll do it with you!” I dug out an article I had seen in the Sentinella magazine which had the contact details. I called Antonio and arranged to meet at Velilla beach one Monday morning for the start of our adventure. In advance he forwarded me videos and YouTube links so we could familiarise ourselves — especially with the take-off 'run'. From the beginning,

Antonio was very professional and conveyed the confidence of his 30 years experience which is extremely important. After meeting Antonio and his fellow tandem instructor Rafael, we headed towards the first of two possible take-off sites. Antonio had explained that if the wind direction was not ideal we would proceed to another site higher up at approximately 1000 metres which, in fact, happened. (I secretly had hoped for this, knowing that higher meant an even longer flight!) However, as we approached the second site after climbing the steep track in their 4x4, I have to admit to feeling my first pangs of apprehension as I looked down the slope from which I was about to jump with Rafa. On the other hand, my daughter calmly took it all in without flinching and not a sign of nerves... the confidence of youth! We both listened intently to Antonio as he briefed us on the four points to remember. I stood by and watched my daughter get airborne with him. He made it look so smooth and easy. As we watched them float down the valley, I soon followed with Rafa. Once in the air, I could take it all in. The silence and feeling of being like a bird soaring as we gazed down on the A7 autovia way below was amazing. We even flew through several fluffy white clouds. As we neared Velilla beach, I had a bird’s eye view of Antonio performing several turns over the blue water of nearby El Tesorillo beach before making an impressive turn in over the headland for a textbook landing by my daughter on Velilla beach. Rafa also landed perfectly, except that I suffered the indignity of ending up sitting on the sand. The nearby sunbathers had seen my 'classic' landing technique but Parapente Tropical kindly edited it out of the video!” To book your flight call 605 940 618 / 654 198 820


Van & trailers. Light haulage, removals up to 25m3, car & boat transport. Vinuela based, 25 years experience. Local or anywhere in Europe. Regular Spain-UK-Spain trips. Phone 636 844 209 E-mail:


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acts F ss

less use e r ! ey a s th azing y a m w al ut a b As

le e s U

1. Every year 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual positions 2. If we had the same mortality rate now as in 1900, more than half the people in the world today would not be alive

5. During a severe windstorm or rainstorm the Empire State Building sways several feet to either side 6. In the last 3,500 years, there have been approximately 230 years of peace throughout the civilized world 7. The Black Death reduced the population of Europe by one third in the period from 1347 to 1351 8. The average person spends about two years on the phone in a lifetime 9. Length of beard an average man would grow if he never shaved 27.5 feet

3. On average, Americans eat 18 acres of pizza everyday

10. Over 60% of all those who marry get divorced.

4. Researchers at the Texas Department of Highways in Fort Worth determined the cow population of the U.S. burps some 50 million tons of valuable hydrocarbons into the atmosphere each year. The accumulated burps of ten average cows could keep a small house adequately heated and its stove operating for a year

11. 400-quarter pounders can be made from 1 cow 12. A full-loaded supertanker traveling at normal speed takes at least 20 minutes to stop 13. Coca-Cola was originally green

TOTAL SATELLITE INSTALLATIONS WANT SATELLITE T.V CHANNELS? Have you lost BBC1, 2, 3, 4, ITv1, CH4, BBC News & BBC Radio ? THEN HAVE IT BACK THROUGH SATELLITE To move your own dish and supply a new Digibox - ONE OFF PRICE €280 UK IPTV All UK channels including Sport & Films Catch Up Tv - On Demand Movies 25€ per month

Call Phil or Nigel on: 629 556 266 Email:


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Kids In Church Children, don’t you just love em!! A little boy was overheard praying, ‘Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am,’ After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, ‘That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, I wanted to stay with you guys.’ A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, ‘And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?’ One bright little girl replied, ‘Because people are sleeping.’ A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. ‘If Jesus were sitting here,

he would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’ Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, ‘Ryan, you be Jesus!’ A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. ‘Daddy, what happened to him?’ the son asked. ‘He died and went to Heaven.’ the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, ‘Did God throw him back down?’

CHIMNEY  SWEEP Be safe, have your chimney inspected and cleaned before you use your fire this winter


Tel Keith: 607 441 959 or Russ: 654 184 242

NOW IS THE TIME TO PLANT VETIVER! WHY NOW? Vetiver is indigenous to India and was introduced here by the Spanish Government in 1994. Unlike most plants it loves the heat of summer. If planted now it will grow to 1-2 metres before the Autumn rains. Vetiver will provide erosion control and act as a wind block for the upcoming winter season. There are many more uses for Vetiver. See our website for more details: Contact us at

or call: 692 288 657

12 years ye ars offering our ser vices in To r re del Mar

Open Mon - Fri: 09.30 - 20.00 Avda. de Andacucia, 86 Bajo, Torre del Mar

Tel: 952 54 72 51 / 608 025 772 w w

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The Gas Man Some interesting information regarding the bogus gas man Often these people pose as employees of a company recognised as Repsol or Cepsa to gain the trust of potential customers. (This in itself is not a crime, but it may be an administrative offence). Unlike in England where their actions could be party to deception offences. They work with lists of people that they are supplied with, but they target the elderly and non residents because in their opinion they are easier to deceive. After a thorough review of the gas appliances and connections, the scammer tells his victim that the facility is in poor condition and should be changed or it will be cut off. The inspector makes false promises to expedite the process in exchange for a small gratuity or sometimes charging cash it costs to repair. Most of the companies they work for these people are legal. They may change elements...or sell other elements that are not mandatory. The more they charge the more they gain. USEFUL INFORMATION Do not open the door... even if they have the accreditation of gas inspector, unless you have arranged the visit previously. If they contact you saying they will send someone to your house for a review, you must refuse. It is always the customer who calls the company. Check your gas contract and check the dates of review (every 5 years). Failure to do so only involves a risk to you and problems with home insurance if an accident occurs. If you decide to do a review, see the person who provides gas cylinders. He will provide phone numbers of official business. The tube must be changed when it expires and the regulator when it stops working. Mick Stockdale in conversation with a Spanish Police Officer


The Poison Fruit Apples and Wine Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren’t as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Now men… men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the s*** out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Baby equipment available for long and short term rentals. Items can be collected in person or we provide a delivery service anywhere between Malaga and Nerja Orders can be taken via our website using our order form or please feel free to visit us at Divas, Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel or call or email us anytime Contact Sophie on: 0034 692 308 454 facebook@nurseryneeds.jt

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Sat Co Sat. Co original sponsors of Space Skip International Reclamation of Space Junk Sat.Co’s mission statement is to abolish world poverty and to stop the fluff from collecting in your navel.

unk pace J S o SatC

The little green men from Planet Television


Constant climates using the latest inverter technology Covering all the Axarquia region



The little green men from Planet Television

CALL: 657 484 853

Please call before 10am for same day service Email:


Every Tuesday 9.30am - 1.30pm

Come and enjoy a relaxing morning at Los Jardines del Trapiche, THE nicest market venue on the Costa. EASY PARKING Outside courtyard and beautiful function room full of fabulous stalls offering something for everyone. Browse at your leisure and enjoy a coffee in the stunning shadey gardens Take the A-272 turning onto the Velez-Malaga road A-356. Turn off at El Cruce restaurant towards Benamargosa. Over the roundabout and we are on the left just before the private airfield

Cal l A n it a on : 6 2 7 8 7 7 1 6 4


CONSTRUCTION Our reputation and commitment to providing a first class service, which we deliver on time and within budget, precedes us. Active Construction is a fully registered Spanish company licensed to carry out work from 100€ to 250,000€. To this end we have a very comprehensive insurance policy and guarantee scheme in place.

“If you are interested in any type of construction, be it a new property, extension or reformation (inside or out), driveway, patio or swimming pool, please take a few minutes to browse through our websites. I know you will be surprised about the scope and scale of the projects we have undertaken and completed” Call: 666 659 876 Email:

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La Tinaja de la Axarquia 100% handmade furniture, ceramics & souvenirs from La Axarquía 622 27 19 73 C/Reñidero, 31B - Vélez-Málaga Email:


Machine Hire Digger Hire Tool Hire

Call: 693 505 272

Tlfn: (+34) 669 899 065 Email:

NO HIDDEN COSTS and free delivery / collection to the airport along the coast to Nerja Long term car rental from 300€ per month

The Sentinella

THE magazine to be seen in!! Advertise your Business this Autumn in print or on our BRAND NEW WEBSITE!! WWW.THESENTINELLA.COM Call: 664 210 468

FO R  AL L Y O UR  B UI LD IN G R E QU IR E M E NT S Reforms, Terracing, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Electrical works, Plastering & Damp Proofing. Free no obligation quotes. very competitive prices. visit our website for more information and testimonials from previous customers.

Te l : 66 5 3 2 2 1 36 - 9 52 5 39 42 3


Taberna Restaurante


Padre Pio

ROLLER SHUTTERS Roller Shutter repairs New installations Conversion from manual to motorised

Call Julian: 655 825 931

Specialists in Homemade Pastas, Grilled Fish & Meat. The Best Quality & 100% Homemade Hours: 12.00 - 24.00 Tel: 951 237 899 / 633 701 449 Paseo Maritimo de Levante TORRE DEL MAR


*Dental Cosmetics *Implants Crowns & Bridges Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 55 05 21

Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892

English Dental Technician 30 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs Adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call Graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 633 157 891


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At Rumours It’s Not All About The ..Hair & Beauty... There’s Much More!! Rumours can also offer chiropody treatments with UK-trained Susan Blackwell For example, have you taken a good look at your feet recently? They can tell a story or two! Chiropody treatments include a general evaluation of the foot — including toenails, skin and general foot healthcare of the individual. Within a treatment included is a nail cut and file/burr, removal of callus and hard skin, corn removal, advice on verruca treatments and advice on looking after your feet — this is important for diabetics. Do you suffer with thick— often fungal — toenails, ingrowing toenails, athletes’ foot and/or cracked heels? Seeing a chiropodist can help these conditions. Have you ever tried reflexology? It is an ancient art of healing by applying pressure to specific areas of the foot (or hand) which correspond to other parts of the body, its organs and systems. Reflexology primarily improves the circulation and assists the body in eliminating toxins and waste. By applying

pressure and stimulating the reflex points, we help clear these channels and pathways, improving their functioning and balance, relieving tension from stressed areas and stimulating under-active areas. It can help the lymphatic system work more efficiently too, resulting in reduced swelling. Similarly, it can help the digestive system and conditions such as IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). A reflexology session — or regular sessions — contribute towards the maintenance and wellbeing of your mind and body, encouraging your body to look after and heal itself. Susan is in the salon on Thursdays and Fridays in Puente don Manuel. Call 951 232 881 for hair, beauty and chiropody appointments. See main advert on page 27


Are you looking for a pool contractor who can A leak in a pressurised only pipe will lose 800 Repair, Refurb or Construct a Swimming Pool? litres of water in a 24 hour period through a 2mm hole in the pipe. If you are adding Look no further, because at Axarquia Pools 5 - 7cms of water to your pool a week, we do it all you have a leak. w Re-tiling / acid cleaning and w Construction of The very latest and technologically advanced swimming pools / wet re-grouting Leak Detection equipment on the market today! areas and external w External electrical lighting, showers pool lighting, electrical pump An internal pipe camera scope w Leak detection and repair for inspecting refurbishment and renewal w Salt systems & pinpointing fractures w Access ladders and step w Pool covers / safety nets & small anomalies within all construction w Pool automation the swimming pool pipework For more detailed information, & drainage systems please visit our comprehensive With our high-tec equipment, we can detect leaks website at: or email us at: in Swimming Pools, Depositos, Spa Baths and or phone Calvin on: 666 659 876 mains water feeds. Fully registered company, established 2003 If you think you may a have a leak, call us today Part of the Active Construction on: 666 659 876 or email: group of companies

We have moved!!!

New address

Avda. Andalucia, 103 Torre del Mar Tel: 951 28 30 75 Also at: C/Beethoven, 5 Malaga Tel: 951 21 27 70


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

s Now b e l Ce en & d Gere Th ichar R

Richard Gere, born August 31, 1949, the son of an insurance salesman and a housewife, was a noted gymnast and musician in his youth. His acting career began in repertory in Seattle, and he appeared on the London stage in Grease in 1973. He is possibly best known as the ultimate sex symbol in such films as American Gigolo (1980), An Officer and a Gentleman (1982) and Pretty Woman (1990). He was named People magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" in 1999. Gere had well-publicised affairs with Priscilla Presley and Kim Basinger, and was married to supermodel Cindy Crawford from 1991 to 1995. In November 2002, he married model and actress Carey Lowell, with whom he has a son, Homer James Jigme Gere. The couple have since divorced. However, in addition to acting in many highly-acclaimed and award-winning roles, Gere is also a humanitarian activist. A practising Buddhist, he is also an advocate for human rights in Tibet. He is a co-founder of the

Tibet House, creator of The Gere Foundation and Chairman of the Board of Directors for the International Campaign for Tibet. Because he supports the Tibetan Independence Movement, he is permanently banned from entering the People's Republic of China. In September 2007, Gere called for the boycott of the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games to put pressure on China to make Tibet independent.

Canillas de Aceituno - Tel: 952 51 80 71 C/Placeta, Edf. Arbosa, Bajo Monday & Wednesday 10am - 1.30pm Caleta de Velez - Tel: 952 55 03 76 C/Colonia de Puerto, 112 Thursday 10am - 1.30pm by appointment Periana - Tel: 952 53 71 25 C/Iglesia, 14 Tuesday 10am - 1.30pm by appointment For appointments and any queries please Call: 691 700 587

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email Royal romance Meghan Markle has finally broken silence about dating Prince Harry. Since she got together with Prince Harry, Meghan has kept quiet about their relationship, but has now opened up for the first time about meeting her special Prince. Speaking to Vanity Fair magazine, Meghan revealed that she met Harry through friends and they were secretly dating for six months before it was made public in November 2016. "We're a couple. We're in love," she told the magazine. "I'm sure there will be a time when we will have to come forward and present ourselves and have stories to tell, but I hope what people will understand is that this is our time.” "We're two people who are really happy and in love." Elsewhere in the interview Meghan explains that it isn't easy dating a royal, but says pals and Harry make things easier. "It has its challenges, and it comes in waves some days it can feel more challenging than others,” she says. "But I still have this support system all around me and, of course, my boyfriend's support. "Nothing about me changed," she added. "I'm still the same person that I am and I've never defined myself by my relationship." There are currently rumours that an announcement of engagement is on its way.

Publicity stunt? Katie Price’s ex husband, cage fighter Alex Reid, has accused the former glamour model of timing her latest divorce for publicity reasons. Price has filed for her third divorce, claiming that third husband Kieran Hayler is a “sex addict” and has been cheating on her with their nanny. Reid, however, believes it's all a publicity stunt to coincide with her upcoming tour and says "It's convenient timing". The nanny has denied the claims and Kieran has said he still loves Katie.


C el e Newbrity s

Reid, who split from Katie in 2011, told the Mirror: “It’s extremely convenient timing, one million per cent. There’s no coincidence here. This whole situation is a great money making opportunity. “There’s no factual evidence to prove what’s happened.” But he doesn't stop there. He even goes on to say he "feels sorry" for Kieran and that he doesn't believe Katie's claims one bit. Alex said: “Having been in a similar situation, and understanding how difficult it must be for Kieran, I feel sorry for him. “I also feel sorry for the nanny accused. There’s no factual evidence to prove what’s happened. In fact, the nanny denied everything, also claiming that Katie owes her money."

Cheryl’s comeback It’s two whole years since Cheryl, formerly Cole, last made an appearance on TV talent show The X Factor, but there are now rumours that she is coming back. The new mum is said to be joining up with her old boss Simon Cowell to help in his quest to win this year's show. It's been reported that Cheryl will help Simon to narrow down his acts for the Judges’ Houses part of the series. Cheryl, who as a judge won the show twice with Alexandra Burke and Joe McElderry. She certainly has an eye for talent, something Simon is all too aware of. A source told the Mail Online: “Simon is ecstatic at getting Cheryl back working with him again. They’ve had their ups and downs to say the least but he hugely respects her opinion.”


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& t i u Fr Facts anates Veg omegr P

Pomegranates, which grow widely in Spain, are among the healthiest fruits on earth.

pomegranate juice can be useful in men with prostate cancer, potentially inhibiting cancer growth and lowering the risk of death.

They contain a range of beneficial plant compounds, and many studies have shown that they have incredible benefits for your body.

Regular intake of pomegranate juice has been shown to lower blood pressure levels in as little as 2 weeks.

The skin of the pomegranate is thick and inedible, but there are hundreds of edible seeds called arils within, and these are what people eat – either raw or processed into pomegranate juice. One cup of arils (174 grams) contains 7 grams of fibre, 3 grams of protein, 30% of the RDA of vitamin C, 36% of the RDA of Vitakin K, 16 % of the RDA of folate and 12% of the RDA of potassium. However, where pomegranates really shine is in their content of powerful plant compounds, some of which have potent medicinal properties. Punicalagins are extremely powerful antioxidants found in the juice and peel of a pomegranate. They are so powerful that pomegranate juice has been found to have three times the antioxidant activity of red wine and green tea. Pomegranate extract and powder is typically made from the peel, due to its high antioxidant and punicalagin content which have been shown to reduce inflammation, one of the leading drivers of many killer diseases. Test tube studies have shown that it can reduce inflammatory activity in the digestive tract, as well as in breast cancer and colon cancer cells. Punicic acid, also known as pomegranate seed oil, is the main fatty acid in the arils. It is a type of conjugated linoleic acid with potent biological effects. There is preliminary evidence that

Laboratory studies have shown that pomegranate extract can block enzymes that are known to damage joints in people with osteoarthritis. Several human studies have shown that pomegranate can have benefits against heart disease. It improves the cholesterol profile and protects LDL cholesterol from oxidative damage. The anti-bacterial and anti-fungal effects may also protect against infections and inflammation in the mouth. These include conditions like gingivitis, periodontitis and denture stomatitis. Some evidence shows that pomegranate can improve memory in the elderly and post-surgery, and studies in mice suggest that it can protect against Alzheimer's disease. I think there is going to be a mad rush for pomegranate juice... :)

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Migrane And Tension Headache Sufferers Don’t Stress... Do you suffer from tension across the shoulders and up the back of the neck? Tension headaches and migraines can be a result of muscle tightness and posture plays a big part in this. If your head is protracted in a forwards position and shoulders rolled forwards then your posture may be causing tension and discomfort across the back of your shoulders, between the shoulder blades. These posterior muscles become over-stretched and weakened while the muscles at the front of your shoulders, your Pectorals and big Latissimus dorsi muscles that rotate your arms inwards become tight. Sports and Remedial massage with me can help this posture by releasing the tight front muscles and restoring balance, relieving the sore muscles in the shoulders and drawing your shoulder blades back into better posture. Sports Massage can also relieve tension in the neck, relaxing the posterior muscles and training it to extend rather than protract forwards. Sports Remedial Massage has two roles

when it comes to treating migraines and tension related headaches. In a proactive role, massage treatments are performed on a regular basis to help the body maintain an optimal level of relaxation and stress-relief. This approach reduces the chances of migraine attacks and tension headaches significantly by relaxing muscle spasms and trigger points. In a comfort role, massage is done to ease the pressure brought on during a migraine or tension related headache. By focusing on the neck, shoulders, and head, massage can decrease the pain and discomfort brought on by migraine or tension headache. Relief of Tension-Related Headaches Benefits *Decreases occurrences of headaches, sleep disturbances and distress symptoms *Allows one to maintain a level of relaxation and stress-relief, reducing the chances of stress induced migraines See main advert below

Amanda Payne Edge BSC HONS; RSA

Qualified Sports & Remedial Therapist Specialising in soft tissue massage and manipulation treatments for sciatica, back problems, tension headaches, muscle injuries as well as relaxing and lymphatic massage. Treatments also using the G5 GBM Massage Machine. Also specialising in Kinesiology Taping & Passive, Active Stretching

Calle de Venta Baja, Puente don Manuel

Tel: 655 936 590


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cs i P ny R

ms do n a

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


Time To Sell Up? How To Get Started. Since the crisis began in 2008 the housing market in Andalusia has been slow to recover. But in the last 3 years it has been on the up and properties are now selling again. Of course, not everything sells and some properties can sit on the market without moving for a long time, often for no fault other than being in too isolated a location, or being too close to a neighbouring house, etc. But others are ‘flying off the shelf’ at top speed!

vendor can make is overpricing their houses – be realistic, as the market dictates the price, not the vendor

So if you are thinking of selling your house in Spain, think carefully about how you should go about this, to maximise your chance of selling relatively quickly and smoothly. Here are three vital things to think about:

3. Make your house presentable. Get those jobs done that you have been meaning to do – a lick of paint, fixing cracks or roof leaks, de-cluttering (very important), and tidying up the gardens, patios or terraces.

1. Get the price right. Calculate roughly what you have spent on the property to date, in order to focus the mind on an acceptable sales price. Some people manage to make a small profit, others know they will be making a loss. Check out the prices of similar properties on some of the specialist property portals such as or on the local estate agency websites, to find out what is the right sort of price. The biggest mistake a

Buyers are most active in Autumn and Springtime, so now is the time to put your house up for sale if you are thinking of selling. Select your agencies carefully, maybe putting the property on with 2 or 3 at the most to start with, and see how it goes.

2. Check your documentation. Even if you think your paperwork is fine that may not be the case, especially after new legislation that is only now being put into practice. Buyers are acutely aware of all these things nowadays and will often go for the easiest option.

For more information and advice, email us at Unspoilt Andalusia. By Toni Waterman, Unspoilt Andalusia (see advert below)

Restaurant specialising in meat, baked goat & garlic and all kinds of grilled meats

8th October Belgium Buffet From 5pm Live Music with Juan Luis Pascal Please reserve your table Plaza de Salia, 2 AlcaucĂ­n Tel: 952 510 031 / 608 553 075 / 619 390 146



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w e i v Re

personal fears to battle the murderous, bloodthirsty clown known as Pennywise whose history of murder and violence dates back for centuries. The seven work together to find out the truth about this shapeshifting creature, which they dub "IT"


Release date: 8th September 2017 Director: Andrés Muschietti Budget: 35 million USD Music composed by: Benjamin Wallfisch Producers: Seth Grahame-Smith, Barbara Muschietti, Dan Lin, Roy Lee, David Katzenberg

Star Rating 3.5 / 5

Based on the Stephen King novel of the same name, which has been terrifying readers for decades. Seven young bullies known as The Losers Club are about to face their worst nightmare over the course of one horrifying summer. The film depicts roughly half the book, focusing on most of the childhood events of the main characters. When children begin to disappear in the town the friends must overcome their own



PVC & Aluminium WindoWs & doors


w Doors w Windows w Sun Blinds w Mosquito Nets w Shower Doors w Blinds w Shutters El Cruce de Periana, Edf. Alzabel Bajo No. 3, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin

Tel: 655 425 686 or 608 241 429


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La Vaqueria Sitting here in La Vaqueria garden listening to live music on a full stomach of delicious buffet food as I write to you this month. The glorious weather and great atmosphere here every Sunday makes for a really special day out and the lovely drive up our lemon, avocado and mango packed valley is the perfect way to start your relaxing day This old cowshed has seen many changes over the last 15 years as it has developed into a thriving arts and crafts centre with a fabulous cafe. Emphasis has always been on homemade good value food using fresh local ingredients, many of which are home grown. Over the years we have held many markets and fairs, hosted private events and parties and even had the odd rave!!! Now with growing interest in all things natural and holistic we have decided to start a monthly HOLISTIC & ARTESAN FAYRE. We have been offering a free treatment room to practitioners from Tues - Thurs as we feel that the area definitely needs more of this sort of thing! So, every 3rd Sat of every month (bar January when we close) we will be inviting artesans, practitioners, demonstrators and promoters to join us to make this a

special, enjoyable and informative occasion. We will have a variety of stalls plus a bonsai and a dream catcher demonstration and the treatments will be reike, hot stone massage, reflexology and also palm reading and indian head massage... something for everyone! Meanwhile in the campo the mango harvest has started, a good year surprising given the lack of water this year but nevertheless the people I have spoken to are happy and the price is good too. With all of the bags full we have gratefully received we are now in full chutney production and mango crumble is becoming a firm favourite. We are finishing up the month on 31st with a Halloween party, fancy dress and live music. Fun for all with a bank holiday to get over it win!! Several people have mentioned that La Vaqueria is "a bit hard " to find... thank you all for your feedback and for persevering and telling us it was worth it!! For new comers, I am putting up more signs but also please look for us on google maps, on our website and on facebook... they all show you the way and we are looking forward to welcoming you when you arrive!! See advert below


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email

Where’s Waldo? Where’s Waldo

Last month’s answer on page 108

Come and meet or speak to our bilingual team;

Jacqueline Combe - Managing Director, Natalie Combe - Accounts department, Barbara Vizcaino O´Hara - Administration & Insurance, Juan Pedro Jimenez del Dedo - Solicitor.

Opening hours: 09.00 to 14.00

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Oasis Hair & Beauty - Torre Del Mar With a ‘talk of the town’ dinner dance looming, it was time to pull out the glad rags, plan the accessories and put aside some time to think about glamming myself up. I decided to try a fairly new salon recently opened in Torre del Mar, ‘Oasis Hair & Beauty’. I decided on a pedicure with Clare and some nail art with Sacha. On entering the salon there was a great ambience about the place. I was greeted immediately and offered a drink. I was taken to the pedicure area spot on my appointment time. Clare, a trained Beauty Therapist for many years, was extremely polite, friendly

Clare also specialises in pedicures, manicures, lash extensions, reflexology, aromatherapy, facials and more. Next it was over to the nail section for some nail art with Sasha. Well, I have to say that this place runs like clockwork — to the minute, in fact, for my nail appointment. I had heard Sasha was extremely good at nail art and I had seen some of her work, so after a quick description of my dress, I left it in her capable hands to make my nails look beautiful. As you can see in the photo below, that’s just what she did.

I was now ready for the ball — with thanks to ‘Oasis’! and chatty — she made my whole experience a very relaxed one. In fact we chatted almost solidly for a whole hour about this and that, and afterwards, I had lovely soft, relaxed feet, painted nails and a new friendship!

If you would like to make an appointment, tel: 644 744 404 or pop in (next to Mercadona and Aquaveliz water park). C/Ruta de Los Carboneros, Torre del Mar


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Monthly Baking Blog By Susan Jane Halloween Pumpkin Cake with Orange Cream Cheese Topping As the summer draws to a close with cooler darker evenings creeping up, there is most definitely an autumnal feel to the air. With Halloween scheduled for the end of this month I thought that a cake recipe in keeping with this event would be most appropriate. Taking advantage of the fresh produce vailable a recipe using pumpkin seemed like a good idea. For any carrot cake lovers out there this cake has a very similar flavour, but the addition of the condensed milk once the cake has been removed from the oven makes the cake soft, very moist and super delicious; It is definitely worth giving this cake a go. The recipe is super easy you do not even require a mixer, so here goes:-

For the Topping: Zest of 1 orange 25g butter 75g Cream Cheese 115g Icing Sugar Set over temperature to 150 degrees C Fan. Line an 8” (20cm) square tin with greaseproof paper. Mix together the oil, eggs, sugar and pumpkin puree Gently add in the flour, baking powder and spices (add nuts here if you choose) and mix well. Pour the mixture into the baking tin and place in the oven. Bake for approx 35/40 mins or until the skewer test comes out clean. Whilst still warm pour the condensed milk over the top of the cake and allow to soak in. Beat together the topping ingredients Once the cake is cool spread the topping over the cake. Slice and serve. Happy Halloween !

Enjoy Sue x

Ingredients 175g Pumpkin puree. – Cut the raw pumpkin into chunks and place on a baking tray in a moderate oven 150 degrees C. Bake until soft, or alternatively you can use a microwave and cook until soft. Remove, cool and puree with a blender, then set aside. ¾ cup sunflower oil 140g Sugar 2 Eggs 175g S.R. Flour ½ teaspoon baking powder ½ teaspoon cinnamon ½ teaspoon nutmeg ½ teaspoon mixed spice 100g Chopped Walnuts – Optional 1/3 small tin of condensed milk

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Charity Auction - October 21st A CHARITY AUCTION will take place on Saturday October 21st from 12 noon with viewing from 11.00am Venue: Al-Andalus Hotel in Maro near the Nerja Caves. Auction Items include: Original artworks, handmade bed covers, copper and silver items as well as restaurant meals, hairdressing and Will Writing will be auctioned with bidding starting from as little as 5â‚Ź. Monies raised will be for the Residencia for the Elderly in Nerja and for the Anglican Chaplaincy of Nerja & AlmuĂąecar. For more information or if you have items to donate please contact Sandra Wrightson on 678 644 035.


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es Chariti

What´s on in your area?

POCAPECUNIA, the Charity shop in aid of the Love A Child Foundation, has reformed the shop and is twice as big. We are still always in need of clothes, household items, paperbacks, CD's and DVD's. Open: Mon-Sat from 10am to 1.30pm. C/Bella Vista 6 in Nerja (between Parador & Hotel Villa Flamenca). Volunteers needed. The Costa Animal Society needs your help, particularly with their efforts at the Sunday car boot markets in Nerja and Almuñecar. If you have some time, and especially if you own a 4x4 or other large vehicle, your assistance in transporting and selling goods on a Sunday morning would be much appreciated as both these markets help raise much needed funds to care for rescued animals. If you can assist CAS in any way call Wendy: 660271984 or Vera: 680 315880. SEEKING CHARITIES - People helping People Do you know of any SPANISH Charities (O.N.G) who help people and are seeking funding? The American International Club is currently seeking Spanish Organisations who are seeking assistance. The organisation will be presenting a donation at the Dia de Residente event this April in Nerja. If you are aware of an organisation that assists Spanish people, please send an email with contact information to The American International Club is a social club open to all nationalities which spans the area from Almunecar to Torrox and beyond. Activities include tapas runs, monthly excursions, petanque, coffee mornings, dinners and walks. The Club raises funds for Spanish charities and each year makes a significant donation to a local organisation as a way of saying "thank you" to our host nation. Our motto is "If it isn't fun, we don't do it". To join in the fun email: Los Romanes Royal British Legion. Los Romanes branch has two venues. We meet weekly on a Tuesday at 12 midday at Bar Atila, Puente Don Manuel and on a Wednesday at 12 midday at Bar La Vega, Torre del Mar. Our friendly group get together not only to raise funds for and support the Royal British Legion in Spain, but also meet to be with friends and have some fun, including quizzes, bingo, monthly lunches etc. We always welcome new members (you don’t have to be ex-military) – so come along to make some new friends at one of our meetings or contact Joyce on 692 551 385 for more information.

Every Tuesday Country Farmers Market between 10am and 1.30pm. Los Jardines del Trapiche Call: Anita 627 877 164

Date Diasr For y

Every Tuesday Bar Atila, Puente don BAR ATILAManuel, Quiz 8.30pm. Call to reserve a

table 663 393 987

Quiz Night Every Thursday Evening Bar Viva, C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar. Quiz night with a difference. From 8.30pm. Hosted by yours truely, Tony of The Sentinella. Come on down for a great evenings entertainment. Call to reserve your table 952544362 Every 2nd Wednesday in the month AAR monthly quiz at La Tasca. 3pm start. Opposite the police station, Torre del Mar. Call Shelia for details 640 328 051


Argentine Tango classes in Torrox: Wed 5pm 6pm Salón Pilates con Lorena Calle Deire, edificio fantasia, sótano 2 derecha, Torrox pueblo Mario Correa 649 59 55 94 New furniture shop in Torre del Mar is looking for volunteers who have a free morning or afternoon every week to help us to sell second hand furniture and attend to customers in the new store. Would you like to help us? Contact the Volunteer Department now: 952 56 49 10 / 671 048 304 The Nerja Players 2017/18 Season On Tues 17th Oct, The Nerja Players are opening their doors for the season’s first performance which will be a cold unrehearsed reading. All attendees are invited to take part. Tues 31st Oct, The Nerja Players will hold an evening of poems, stories and sketches, humorous or otherwise and presented by members. Non-members are also welcome to participate. Both performances will start at 7pm and will be held in the Nerja Bridge Club – entrance is through the blue doors next to the Café Royal at the top of Avda Castilla Perez, Nerja. Do come along and share an enjoyable evening with us. A subsidised bar will be available. For more info: Martin Urban from Astria has become the new Chairman of 41 Club Nerja (Ex Round Tablers). We have had a talk on walks around Frigiliana, an evening with a horse whisperer. a boat trip around the bay at Caleta & 3 Munch Bunches. Our Club has 47 members from 10 different Counrties and is truly International. We meet twice a month. On the first Thurs we take our ladies out for our Munch Bunch where we visit different restaurants for a Menu del Dia. On the third Thurs we have our 'Normal' meeting. To become a member ring Alfie on 626998626



Axarquia Fiestas & Events in October 26th September - 1st October FERIA DE VELEZ-MALAGA 1st week October SEMANA CULTURAL - Totalán 2nd - 5th October FERIA DE OCTUBRE - Torrox 4th October ROMERíA DE LA VIRGEN DEL ROSARIO - Sayalonga 7th October DíA DE LA VIRGEN DEL ROSARIO - Rincon de la Victoria 7th October NTRA. SRA. DEL ROSARIO PATRONA - Totalán 7th - 8th October FIESTA DE LA CERVEZA OCTOBERFEST Algarrobo Costa 7th - 11th October NTRA. SRA. DEL ROSARIO Y SEMANA CULTURAL Canillas de Albaida 8th October FESTIVAL DEL FLAMENCO PEñA LA SOLEá - Nerja 8th & 9th October FIESTA DEL MONFí - Cútar 8th - 12th October FERIA DE NERJA 10th & 11th October FERIA EN HONOR A LA VIRGEN DEL ROSARIO - Alcaucin

10th - 12th Otober FIESTAS DE VALLEJO Macharaviaya 12th October FERIA DE LA MULA - Arenas 14th - 17th October FERIA DEL CRISTO DE LA SALUD - Benamocarra 31st October - 4th November SEMANA SOCIOCULTURAL DE LA CALA DEL MORAL Rincon de la Victoria 31st October FIESTA DE LA CASTAñA Alcaucin 31st October FIESTA DE LA CASTAñA Y EL BONIATO - Maro

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s e i t e i c o S & s Club

The Trapiche Social Club meets every Wed from 12noon to 2pm at the Trapiche Restaurant (on the Velez to Vinuela Road) All are welcome to come and meet friends and make new friends. Pop in and see, a warm welcome awaits. Call: 680764130 Move It To Music! A gentle, informal and fun dance fitness class held on Saturdays, 11-12 noon, annually from mid October to Easter, Time Sport Gym - Avda de Pescia 21, Nerja. For more info: 675 846 217/ Short Mat Bowls The Nerja Short Mat Bowls Club is now operating in the hotel Jimesol, C/ Chaparil, Nerja on Monday and Thursday afternoons from 1.45pm to 4.15pm. New members welcome. Contact Marian on 952 523 754 or Malcolm on 952 520 579 for more details. Golf: TOGS (Torrox Golf Society) If you would like a friendly but competitive game of golf each Sunday morning at Baviera, then why not join TOGS, possibly the friendliest Society on the Costa. Email: or call Captain: George Clay on 643 139 023 Colmenar Social Club is a group of like-minded people, whose main aim is to promote frendship and assistance to all our members. We meet every Wednesday at around 12.30pm at the Arco Del Sol Hotel on the outskirts of Colmenar (A356 Vele Malaga to Casabermeja road Km9). We are lucky to have our meetings here, it is a great and versatile venue and the proprietors Antonio and Rosa are very supportive and helpful. We enjoy a variety of activities throughout the year: wine tasting, talks on various subjects from Lawyers, Estate Agents, Council Officials, Local Police, cooking demonstrations by our own chef member, car sharing days out to interesting venue’s, treasure hunts, special lunches at different restaurants, plant sales, homemade produce sales, many other activities and of course the popular quisses and games. Everyone, no matter what nationality, is made welcome, so why not come along one Wednesday and enjoy a few hours with us. For more information please contact Marjorie 952 037 556 or email Claire on or visit our facebook page Colmenar Social Club to see our activities. La Vaqueria Benamargosa Every Wednesday Mosaic workshop every 1st Saturday each month 30€. Wednesday weekly art class will be starting again in October. 11am - 1pm, 10€ includes refreshments and home made cake. 15€ per head,

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some materials included occaisionally. Yoga class every Friday 5.30pm - 7pm...for all levels. Every Friday from 8pm there is a theme night where every week different flavours from around the world are celebrated...always choices for special diets. Phoenix Club We now meet every Tuesday between 12 and 2pm at Bar La Vega, Avenida Andalucia and is sandwiched between the small Mercadona Supermarket and the Repsol Garage on the way out of Torre towards Malaga. Call Gail 951 067 723 Do you like singing? Would you like to join a choir? We are inviting new singers to become members of the local, long-established choir, Coral Coraxalia under the leadership of Eusebio Pita. Great, friendly atmosphere, all nationalities, good repertoire, performances and concerts, social events, possible touring, etc. Rehearsals Thursdays 17.30 – 20.00 in the Casa Cultura on the main A7205 road at Viñuela village. Plenty of free parking opposite. Come along to a rehearsal and hear us and decide if you’d like to join us! For more information call 669 682 139 English / 689 111 352 Spanish. Scottish Country Dance Classes Every Tuesday evening from 7.15pm - 9pm at El Trapiche Restaurant, for all levels, with or without partners. For further information please contact George Bain on 619 069 966 RBL - Nerja We enjoy regular lunches on the 1st Friday of each month at “La Pena Parda” restaurant in La Herradura, Contact Eleanor on: Tel: 958828708/ 606634444 or Email: On the 3rd Thursday of each month at the Al Andalus Hotel Maro. Contact Vera on Tel: 952 967 200 or 697 293 698 Email Everyone is welcome to come along and membership is open to anyone and you don’t have to be ex military. Its a worthwhile cause so come and join us. Contact Dave on Tel: 654085811 or Email RBL - Benajarafe Branch Meet every Friday from 12.30-2.30pm, at the coastal, Puerto Niza restaurant, we enjoy bingo, quizzes, more entertainment & monthly outings, a superb lunch inc. drinks, & we welcome all new and existing RBL members. Tel: 603 879 308 Jukebox Bandits - Sat 28th (after the market): Chiringuito Tropy, Caleta, 100yds east of the port. From 2.00-5.00pm. Call 653 629 841 or 689 237 643 for a table. For all other dates please go to

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Clubs & Societies

‘The 'Big Cats' We are a group of Jaguar enthusiasts living in Andalucia. We have a meeting each month for a meal and a good old chat about our cars. On occasions we organise something rather more special, Mystery Tours or Weekends Away. The Jaguar Enthusiasts' Club is the largest Jaguar Club in the world and was formed in 1984, by members of other Jaguar Clubs, for the enthusiast who not only used, but maintained or restored their SS, Jaguar or Daimler. Contact Philip Wray on 669 434 457

other material. The Nerja Players meet on the 1st & 3rd Tuesday of each month from October to April at 18.45 hours in the Bridge Club premises at the top of Avda Castilla Perez 1, Nerja (the large blue double doors). For enquiries please email or visit or follow us on Facebook @ The Nerja Players

The Nerja History Group is for anyone interested in Spanish History. We have monthly Talks & Trips between the months of October - April, Mixed nationalities, Talks delivered in English. All welcome. or contact Christina Sinclair 687 602 057 or email

Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Torre del Mar. Avda. Moscatel 1”I”, (Jardines Viña Malága/Antigua Casa de la Viña), Torre del Mar, 29740. Opening hours Mon-Fri 10am - 1pm &3pm - 6pm. Tel.952 543 334 E-mail: Web: October events and excursions. Every Tues 11.30 to 1pm & Thurs 4.30pm -6pm - Espan-Glish Group at the Centre. Interchange of Languages. Improve your level of Spanish and help others to improve their English. A donation of 1€ will be appreciated. Every Wed - Computer Workshop. Starting with the basics (Emails, Passwords & Security) through to setting up Spreadsheets, databases & Technical Problems. Bring your computer, Tablet or Smart Phone. Time 10am - 11.30am at the Centre. 4€ including one drink. Every Wed – Art & Craft Group. Join friends in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. The Art group meet and help each other with various forms of art, water colours, pastels etc. The craft group are currently making cards in various styles including Iris paper folding and Zentangle. 2pm-5pm Every Friday – Coffee Morning. 11am - 1pm 12th October– The Centre will be closed for a National Holiday. 14th October – Coach Excursion to “South Pacific” Fuengirola. On arrival in Fuengirola there will be free time for a meal and the show starts at 8pm. 28€ available at the Centre. Fundraising event. Departure times. Viñuela (Football Pitch) 4pm, Algarrobo (Lidl) 4.25pm, Caleta (Vets) 4.30pm, Torre del Mar (Coach Station) 4.40pm 15th October – Harvest Thanksgiving Service. All are welcome to join friends at the Ecumenical Service. All imperishable food will be donated to the Torre del Mar Food Bank.The service will be followed by a sharing lunch, so please bring a plate of food. 11am. For further information & bookings contact the Centre, Torre del Mar Tel.952 543 334 E-mail: Please note you are unable to make bookings through the web site and sorry we cannot accept cards

The Nerja Players If you have an interest in theatre and the performing arts join this group who regularly perform rehearsed readings of plays and

EL Capitan Tennis Club Torre Del Mar open to new members. Every Mon, Wed & Fri. For information Ring 675 391 967

Join El Valle! El Valle is one of Axarquia’s most successful and longest running social clubs. We are based in the Lake Vinuela area, 10 km inland from Velez Malaga, and most members live fairly locally but we also welcome people from the coast and further afield. At our monthly meetings you can find out about our wide range of activities that range from the cultural and gastronomic to quizzes, games and films. We also organise days out and short trips away. Through its members El Valle has links to groups that enjoy a variety of pursuits including leisurely scenic walks, more energetic cross-country hash runs, photography, quad biking, drama, bird watching and dancing. So whatever your interests El Valle has something for you! We meet on the first Mon of each month (apart from Aug when we take a break!) at the Camping Bar, Lake Vinuela. Please visit for directions. Meetings start 7:30 but we start arriving from 7pm so come early and introduce yourself so that we can help you make the most of what El Valle has to offer. You can also meet us on Fri mornings from 11:30-12:30 at Meson Sara at the Puente don Manuel crossroads to join us, book an event or have a chat. Trapiche Dance & Dine Group ‘T' Dance every Friday 11am until 1pm @ Restaurante El Trapiche. Mixed programme of popular sequence dancing followed by tapas. New season starts September. All welcome. Tel. 952 515 155 for more details.


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n o i t a m r Info ...In our own random order! Bus Times Call: 952 540 936 Nerja-Malaga 06:30, 07:30, 08:30 08:55, 10:10, 11:10, 12:25, 13:40, 14:55, 15:55, 17:10, 18:40, 19:40, 20:25 Malaga-Nerja 07:00, 08:15, 09:15, 10:30, 11:45, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:15; 17:30; 18:45, 20:15, 20:45, 21:30 Expect to pay approx 2.90€ one way and 5.15€ round trip Nerja-Nerja Caves 08:10, 08:25, 09:40, 10:40, 11:50; 11:55, 12:35, 13:10, 13:35, 14:25, 15:25; 16:40; 18:10, 18:55, 19:30, 20:10 Nerja Caves-Nerja 08:45, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, 12:15, 12:50, 13:30, 14:45. 15:45, 17:00 17:45; 18:30; 19:30; 20:15 Expect to pay approx 0.80€ one way Nerja-Torre see Nerja-Malaga times Torre-Nerja 07:45, 09:00, 09:15, 10:00, 11:00, 11:15; 11:45, 12:30, 13:15, 14:45, 16:00, 17:30, 18:15, 19:30, 21:00, 22:00. Church services in English The Anglican Parish of Nerja & Almuñécar Services at Iglesia San Miguel (St Michael's Church), Nerja every Sunday at 12 noon and at Capilla de Nuestra Señora del Carmen (Fisherman's Chapel), Almuñécar every Sunday at 9.30 a.m. (except during August). There is also a short service of Holy Communion on Wednesdays at 9.30 a.m. in the Church Shop, Calle Málaga, Nerja. Priest in Charge: Father Nigel Thomas. Tel: Church House 952 521 339 Church Shop 952 522 460. Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Tel: 952 219 396 Malaga - St. George´s Church in the Engish Cemetery. 11.00am Sundays Tel: 952 219 396 Velez-Malaga - Capilla De San Jose, Calle Linares 7, Velez-Malaga. Sundays 10.30. Website Tel 952 407 050 Anglican communion. Torre del Mar - St Barnabas Church (IERE)

Local Police : 091 Guardia : 062 Fire : 080 Spanish episcopal services in English at 11am, Morning Prayer 1st and 3rd Sundays. Holy Communion 2nd and 4th Sundays. Tel. 952 030 461 (Priest). Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Avda Moscatel 1 "I", (Gardens of Viña Malaga/ Antigua Casa Del Viña). Roman Catholic - Torre del Mar - Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Saturdays 5pm, (Winter), and 18.00pm. Sunday Anglican Church of St. Barnabas (IERE) 11am. Morning prayer 1st & 3rd Sundays, Holy Communion 2nd & 4th Sundays. Torre del Mar Evangelical Church Torre del Mar Presbyterian Church (Evangelical) meets for worship each Sunday at 11.00am in Legends Bar, C/ Don Cipriano Maldonado Jiménez, Torre del Mar. Everyone welcome. Email Web La Caleta de Velez: Cornerstone International Church: meets on Sundays 11.30am and Wednesdays: 7pm for bible study. Calle Virgen del Mar 3 Tel.63454019 Puente don Manuel - El Puente Christian Fellowship Sunday Worship - 11 am. Midweek activities - Pilates - Mon 1pm-2pm, Bridge club tues 2.15-6pm, Charity shop/books open Wed, Fri & Sat 10-1.30pm. Bible Study Thursday 5-7pm. We meet at El Puente Christian Fellowship premises situated underneath Maroma Inmobiliara, El Cruce de Puente don Manuel Phone 952 115 220 or 952 518 185 Bank Hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am. Taxis Torre: 653 917 004, Nerja: 952 520 537 Velez Malaga: 653 917 004, Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

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Ambulance : 061 Water : 952 540 662 Electricity : 952 540 662 Tourist Information Nerja: 952 521 531 Torre del Mar: 952 541 104




Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004

Weekly Market days Mondays: Torrox Costa Tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche on the road to Benamagosa. Wednesdays; Rincon de la victoria, Algarrobo Costa & Camping vinuela Ctr.A356 KM30. Thursdays: velez Malaga & Torre del Mar & Frigilana Fridays: Puente don Manuel & Cala de Moral Saturdays: Caleta de velez , Competa & Benajarafe, Algarrobo Costa, Opp Lidl (1st & 3rd Saturday each month) Sundays: Malaga Consulates UK Opposite the main bus station Edif, Eurocom Bloque Sur C/Mauricio Moro 2-2º- Malaga 902 109 256 or 913 342 194 Ireland Avda, de los Boliches, Nº15 Fuengirola 952 475 108 Germany C/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga 952 363 591 Sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197 Chemists Telefonica

Airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 Granada 952 048 804 Airlines Shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the weekly markets are only open mornings. Water Supplies Velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013 Railway Stations Malaga: 952 360 202 Granada: 958 271 272 Town Halls Torre and Velez: 952 500 100 Torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 Rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000 Hospitals Nerja Ambulatorio: 952 523 131 Velez Malaga: 951 067 000 ITV Call: 902 702 727 - Open Mon - Fri 08.00am - 18.45pm, Sat: 08:00am 12.45pm


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) : a h a Jokes h Thanks to AP & MP for the following jokes I'd just boarded a Ryanair flight in Prague when a young local couple sneaked into the plane's toilet for a quickie before take-off. Within minutes, they were banging away and you could hear the moaning and groaning noises from the back row. "How do they get away with it?", I asked a grumpy looking stewardess as she went down the aisle closing lockers. "God knows", she replied sharpish. "These flippin pre-flight Czechs get right on my tits" ------------------------------------------------------------The inventor of the USB stick has died. Thanks for the memory. ------------------------------------------------------------A Pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.” “What do you mean?” said the Pirate, “I feel fine.” “What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.” “Arr, well,” said the Pirate, “We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.” The bartender replied, “Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?” The pirate explained, “We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook, but I’m fine, really.” “What about that eye patch?” “Arrrr, well” said the pirate, “One day we were at sea, and a flock of a big fat Albatross flew over. As I looked up, the bastard thing only went and shat in me eye didn't it, Arrrr!” “You’re kidding,” said the bartender. “You couldn’t lose an eye just from bird s***” “Arr, bejasus lad it was me first day with this

feckin hook!” ------------------------------------------------------------My wife suggested we spice up our marriage with 'doctors and nurses' role play. So I put her on a trolley and ignored her for two days. ------------------------------------------------------------Two Irish blokes are out hunting in the woods when Paddy says,"I'm dying for a s***, but I haven't got anything to wipe my arse with." Mick says,"Have you got a fiver Paddy?" "Yes," says Paddy."Well use that," replies Mick. So Paddy goes off for 5 minutes and comes back with s*** all over his hands and clothes. Mick says,"What the f*** happened to you?" Paddy looks at him and replies,"Have you ever tried to wipe your arse with four pound coins and two 50 pence pieces?" ------------------------------------------------------------I walked into a corner shop in Liverpool and picked up a chocolate bar. I asked, "How much is this love?" She said, "You're not from around here are you?" ------------------------------------------------------------A mother in law said to her sons wife, "I don't mean to be rude but the baby doesn't look like my son " The wife then lifted up her skirt and said "I don't mean to be rude either but it's a fanny not a photocopier ------------------------------------------------------------After waiting ages for a reply, I've finally got a letter from the Royal Mail confirming my job application has been successful. I start last Monday. ------------------------------------------------------------This anti-bullying campaign in schools is all very well but where is the next generation of traffic wardens going to come from?

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Jokes h a ha :) A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, 'Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except... the Magic Penis!' The husband said, 'The what'? The man repeated, 'The Magic Penis,' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo. The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!' The man then pointed to the door and said, 'Magic Penis door!' The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said, 'Magic Penis, return to box!' and the penis stopped and returned to the box. The husband bought it and took it home to his wife. After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Magic Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said 'Magic Penis, my crotch.' The penis shot to her crotch.. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off so she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the closest hospital. On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, the woman said, 'I

haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Magic Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me.' The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied, 'Yeah right.... Magic Penis, my ass...!' -----------------------------------------------------------Channel 4 have announced a new series where four Jeremy Kyle guests take it in turns to cook frozen pizzas and Pot Noodles for each other. It's called ‘Scum Dine With Me’ -----------------------------------------------------------I really don’t see the problem with genetically modified food, I’ve just had a lovely leg of salmon! -----------------------------------------------------------Whilst travelling to Malaga on the motorway with a colleague, coming in the opposite direction was a car with a wheelbarrow on the roof being held on by two arms. “That must be an offence” I said “No” replied my colleague, “It’s a wheelbarrow” -----------------------------------------------------------During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day, "Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank eight beers." Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!" "No," I replied, "I'm just a s*** golfer."


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s e g a P Puzzle Get Quizical

Hey Diddle Riddle

1. The Mau-Mau were a terrorist organisation in which African country? 2. How many carats are in pure gold?

1. I am taken from a mine, and shut up in a wooden case, from which I am never released, and yet I am used by almost everybody. What am I?

3. In which English county is the town of Cheddar?

2. It's been around for millions of years, but it's no more than a month old. What is it?

4. Into which body of water does the River Danube flow?

3. On a man's tombstone, it is said that one sixth of his life was spent in childhood and one twelfth as a teenager. One seventh of his life passed between the time he became an adult and the time he married; five years later, his son was born. Alas, the son died four years before he did. He lived to be twice as old as his son did. How old did the man live to be?

5. Which sport is played by the Chicago Bears? 6. Which musical features the song "I Dreamed a Dream"? 7. In the comic books what is Batman's real name? 8. Who was the lead singer of 80's band Culture club?

4. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years? 5. I can run but not walk. Wherever I go, thought follows close behind. What am I?

9. How many yards make up one chain? 10. Which cheese is traditionally sprinkled on Italian food? 11. Who painted "The Laughing Cavalier"?

6. A mountain goat attempts to scale a cliff sixty feet high. Every minute, the goat bounds upward three feet but slips back two. How long does it take for the goat to reach the top?

Answers on page 108

Sudokus Easy


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Puzzle P ages

Crossword Across


1 Relaxing (7)

1 Puzzle consisting of pictures representing syllables and words (5) 2 Erik -----, French early minimalist composer (5) 3 Backslide; become out of favour (4,4,5) 4 Tenant (6) 5 Offer to gamble the same again to cancel a debt (6,2,5) 6 Split exactly in two (6) 7 Leeds, Sheffield or Manchester, perhaps (6) 12 Lack of definition or precision (4) 14 Hamburg’s river (4) 15 Electronically advanced (2-4) 16 Winter palace of the Kubla Khan, according to Coleridge (6) 17 Go at it (6) 19 New-season (5) 20 Made over (5)

8 Mechanical process of wearing something down (7) 9 Military set pieces (7) 10 Field of study (7) 11 Stack, bundle (5) 13 Chosen to represent once more (2-7) 15 Exeter ham? (anag) (9) 18 Hinder or prevent (5) 21 Terms during which some positions are held (7) 22 Emotionally aroused (7) 23 Supplement to a will (7) 24 Attempted (7)


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s n e T p To 8 7 6 5 4 0,9




2, ,3, , , ,


The Top Ten Most Popular Short Haul Holiday Destinations for Brits in 2017...

The Top Ten Most Popular Long Haul Holiday Destinations for Brits in 2017... 1. Bali 2. Orlando 3. Las Vegas 4. Maldives

1. Ibiza

5. New York City

2. Crete

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3. Majorca

7. Dubai

4. Santorini

8. Marrakech

5. Cyprus

9. Phuket

6. Malta

10. Barbados

7. Barcelona 8. Benidorm 9. Madeira 10. Gran Canaria

Quiz Answers - 1. Kenya, 2. 24, 3.Somerset 4. Black sea, 5. American Football, 6. Les Miserables, 7. Bruce Wayne, 8. Boy George, 9. 22 10, Parmesan, 11. Franz Hals Riddle Answers - 1.Pencil lead, 2. The moon, 3. 84. The man lived 1/12 of his life as a teenager. There are seven ‘teen’ years. 7 × 12 = 84. 4. The letter M 5. A nose, 6. Fifty eight minutes. Although his net progress each minute is one foot, he reaches the top on the fifty-eighth minute just before he would normally slip back two feet. Find Waldo Answer -

Last Month’s Crossword Answers

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The Tra der

3€ for a m Paymen aximum of 28 Email: s t to wo ales@th esentine be made befo rds or 15€ for re b before 1 the 17th of thoxed adverts 5th of th e e month month. or call: 6 64 210


Items for Sale MEN’S VIAGRA TABS 100mg, guaranteed or your money back, minimum 10 tabs 30€, free local delivery Venta Baja, Puente don Manuel, Vinuela areas. Call: 696 857 401 PALM TREES Dig up your own Palm Trees. All sizes. Collect for FREE. Logs 5€ a wheelbarrow. Finca dos Mundos km7, old road Trapiche / Vinuela. Tel: 636 471 361 BBQ For your BBQ wood chips eg: Hickory / Oak / Apple / Cherry / Maple /Whiskey Oak and more... 1 pint tub 6€. Any 4 tubs 20€. Free delivery in Venta Baja area. Call: 696 857 401 CHRYSLER GRAND VOYAGER 7 seats, silver, RHD automatic, 65,000 mls Deluxe spec including DVD screen, vgc. Spanish plates. 5000€. Tel: +44 7958 494914. BATHROOM UNIT INCL. sink, mirror & tap. Height roughly 174cm, width roughly 88cm, depth at widest point 55cm. 35€. 675 391 967 FOR SALE, STATIC HOME ON PRIVATE GATED SITE. 3 beds, Swimming pool, between Velez-Malaga and Caleta. Minutes drive to beaches, shopping centre, Baviera Golf Club, bars and restaurants. (Site fees 360 per annum) 40,000€ o.n.o. Call: 0044 7842210982 or email:

Pine Display Unit 200cms high 55cms wide 40cms deep

95€ Call: 952 553 842 675 391 967 Long Lost Cousin Appeal: is your name MALCOLM COLEMAN? or do you know a Malcom Coleman, Also known as ‘MALK’, who lived in Leicester, England and is now living in this area? If so please contact John Wilkins (his cousin) Tel: 604 218 532 or email as I would like to meet up again after many years.

Job Section STAFF WANTED APRENDO IDIOMAS in Nerja are looking for teachers, English, German and French. Calle Antonio Millon, Edf. Penaflor, Bajo 1.Call Rebeca 673684194

Wanted I WILL COLLECT FREE of charge all your used clothing, bric-a-brac, pots and pans, books, toys, CD´s garden pots, tools, pieces of furniture or anything else you are throwing out whilst you are cleaning. Call me on Tel:625 319 323 Jacqui EL CAPITAN TENNIS CLUB Torre Del Mar open to new members. For information Ring 675391967. SECOND HAND Left hand drive car wanted. Good condition inside and out. ITV and tax up to date. Budget 1,500€ depending on car and condition. Call: 693 54 59 89


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!! el l a n i t a month m s n o e r u e S just 5 The re from les@thesentin e h s s e a :s usin Paginas We can list yo6u6r4B210 468 or Email Call tod

ay on

AIR CONDITIONING w For Air Conditioning call Mark at Esola, 616 119 007, Torre del Mar w Polar Air For Professional and reliable servicing, repairs and installation of A/C at competitive rates by a qualified technician.Call Susie or Peter 655 211 192 or visit w CHS Cooling and Heating Solutions. All makes of air conditioning, serviced and installed. Also Solar, Heating and swimming pool heat pumps. Call: 655 791 167 Email: wCool Solutions Air conditioning. Servicing only 30â‚Ź per unit. We supply all leading brands. Free estimates and advice. Room occupancy sensors supplied and fitted. Tel: 693 047 935 or 625 822 410 Email

ALARMS wPerfect Alarm S.L High quality security systems including CCTV and Alarms. We speak English and German. Call: Mr. Martin on 608 517 661

BOAT TRIPS wLuxury Yacht Charters Tel: 618 972 139 Email:

BEAUTY & BOUTIQUE wThe Hair & Beauty Studio Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel, (along from Morenos) Call: 951 204 158 or 654 897 410

BLINDS wSolar blinds, ideal for large glazed areas to keep the view but also giving privacy and stopping maxim-um amounts of heat/glare and fading of

furnishings. Speak to Ian 644 54 61 76 958 49 65 71

BOOKSHOPS wPasatiempo Calle Infantes 32, Torre del Mar, 952 543 703,

BRITISH FOOD STORES wArkwrights The British Food Store and More Open everyday 9am - 9pm Puente don Manuel Telephone: 952 519 780

BUILDERS wLT Construction - is a building company based in the velez Malaga area. We specialise in all aspects of design, building license application and construction, we have over 14 years of expertise in creating individual building solutions for our clients. Our local knowledge of the land and its soil types - and how best to deal with the challenges posed by them - means that we are the best-suited company to advise you on your building requirements. Call Lee Talbot on 659324586 wAll types of building work undertaken, 37 years experience, Let me quote you. Call: 952 110 788 or 650 895 461 wJohn Housby, Building, Plastering, Tiling & Painting. For a quotation ring John: 699 261 414. Email:

CAR ACCESSORIES wWindow Tinting, A mobile service for your convenience, ITv legal & certified. Cut out annoying glare. Stop U/v. Protect Children & pets. Be Cool. Enjoy the sun don't suffer it! Call Ian 902 888 176/ 644 546 176


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The Sentinella Paginas CARE HOMES


wCasa Klein. A better place to live. Scandinavian convelescent and retirement home. Situated on a hilltop overlooking mountains and the sea in velez Malaga. Tel: 952 50 21 30 Mob: 679 167 168

wUltra Clean, Clean & Changeovers, key holding, house-keeping, laundry, window cleaning, gardening etc.. Call Pammy: 674 597 984 Torre del Mar area

CARERS/AGENCIES wEnglish Nurse RGN / carer support. Tel Liz 692 419 548. Or 951 242 449 Hospital visits & discharge care inc equipment. Friendly Home care from your District Nurse. See www.holidaycare4youspain Testimonials - google English Nurse Competa. wDo you need an English Carer? Do you want to remain independent in your own home, but require a level of support to do so? Hourly, daily and respite care, including personal care, help in the home and companionship. Mature, experienced, qualified, registered and insured. Excellent local references, reasonable rates. Linda Horton 648 119 401 email:

Advertise your business here! The best Value for Money advertising From as little as 5 euros a month (based on a year’s contract) 3 months 30 euros 6 months 40 euros 1 year 60 euros Call now: 64 210 468 CAR & BICYCLE HIRE wCaleta Car Hire All types (including mobility vehicles with wheelchair ramps). Airport delivery/collection. Avenida de Andalucia 149-D, Caleta de velez. Email: Telephone: 952 511 293 or 606 435 195

CARPET & UPHOLSTERY CLEANING wRoy’s Carpet & Upholstery Cleaning. Professional Machines, 18 years experience. All areas covered. Call Mark on 958 640 068 or 656 561 669

CCTV wPerfect Alarm S.L High quality security systems including CCTv and Alarms. We speak English and German. Call: Mr. Martin on 608 517 661

CHIROPODISTS wRegisitered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. 25yrs exp NHS & private. Call: 636 866 715

CLINICS wAnalysis Clinic, Haematology, Coagulation (Contro of Warfarin), Biochemistry, Inmunology,Hormone, Bacteriology, Parasitology, Special analysis. Home visits for blood tests. Antonio Armijo Navas, Specialist in Clinical Analysis. Urb. Costa del Oro, Local-4. Torrox Costa, Phone: 952 53 23 93

COMPUTERS wDavid Fenton: Computer Help Specialist. Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000. House calls, remote assistance or bring it to me. Help and impartial advice with all types of technology. Tel 952 549 607, Mob 654 899 976

COUNSELLING wKestrel Counselling. Professional, confidential, qualified counselling service. Face 2 Face, skype or online. Experienced with all age groups including children. Email: Tel: 951 904 671.

DENTISTRY wClinica Europa Centro internacional, Blq. 86, Torrox Costa. Call: 952 53 09 08 Email: British dentist, 24hrs response Call: 648 203 157 wDentadanes s.c Dental Clinic Offering Danish, top quality dental care at Spanish prices. Est. since 1991. We speak English, Danish, German, Spanish and Italian. Tel: 952 529 666 Mon-Fri 10-5pm wGrupo Dental Clinics Calle Enrique van Dulkan, 21, velez Malaga Tel: 952 54 95 95

DOORS & WINDOWS UPVC Ventanas Arconplan - vEKA profile windows, doors and glass curtains. A reputable, fully registered company with over 15 years experience. visit our showroom opposite El Corte Ingles, C/Santa Fabiola no 24 Local 1, 29651 Mijas Costa, Malaga. Call: 952 667 559 / 634 04 30 92

DRAIN CLEARANCE wWayne’s Drains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out. Tel/Fax: 952 539 425. 24 Hour Service: 634 275 030 / 657 862 628 wAt Your Service Plumbing, Electrical, Prop. Maintenance Torre del Mar/Puente don Manuel area. Ex. Corgi reg. with over 35 years experience. Tel: 951 066 064 / 692 330 420 Email:

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The Sentinella Paginas DRAIN CLEARANCE (cont)


wDrain & Leak Solutions Your underground plumbers!High pressure water jetting, Drain tracing CCTv, Septic tank problems & installationsm, baths, sinks & toilets unblocked, leak detection & repairs. Fully qualified and fully legal. No call out fee!! Tel: 951 310 111 / 651 111 005 www.drain&

wSpanish Management vinuela (next to the Farmacia) 666 135 516 or 691 341 268 Web: Email:

wBlokbuster - High pressure drain cleaning. 24 hours a day. Drain maintenance & repairs, high pressure pool cleaning, driveways & patios. NO CALL OUT CHARGES Call: 666 299 021 Facebook: blokbusters drain cleaning Email:

ELECTRICIANS wSparkinspain - Electrical installations & maintenance. Local from Nerja to velez-Malaga & inland to Competa and Frigiliana. Call Colin 951 242 449 or Mob 666 707 297 / Web:

EROSION PROBLEMS wSuppliers of a sterile grass – Vetiver. Used for stopping erosion. With an incredibly strong vertical root system. very cost effective. visit for more information on the vetiver Grass System. Call: 692 288 657 email:

ESTATE AGENTS wBuy A Home Spain Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar. (Opposite the bus station) Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: Website: wFleming Properties, Calle Dr. Fleming, 1, Nerja. 952 524 140 or 637 278 306/606 087 362, wAxarquia Properties S.L Established 2001. Office: 952 436 781 Lorraine: 609 436 537 Email: Cta.Almeria 194, Benajarafe wCountry Properties 29754 Competa - Málaga Plaza Almijara, 21 & Avd. Constitución, 33 Tel.: +34 952 51 61 78 29770 Torrox - Málaga Calle Elisa Ortigosa, 7 Tel.: +34 952 53 91 25 29740 Torre del Mar Málaga Avda. Andalucia, 32B Tel.: +34 952 54 18 86 / 654 693 680 wSkandiaMaklarna is your quality estate agency in Nerja. NEW ADDRESS: C/ Castillo Perez 21 Nerja. Tel: 951 331 699 or mobile: 693 804 044 Email:

wZalia properties, long established sales rental agents, Lake viñuela area. Car hire, Pool, villa cleans etc. El Cruce de Periana 4, Edf. Alzabel, Semisotano 2, Alcaucin 952 519 718 / 663 093 782, 696 206 158

FASHION ACCESSORIES wHeaven for Fashion, Fashion jewellery and accessories at affordable prices - use code SENT12 for a discount of 15% with your first purchase.

FURNITURE wCudeca Hospice Charity Shop – Torre del Mar C/ Infante 21 – Edf. Jamaica Bajo Tel: 663 083 273 MonSat 10.00 – 13.30 / Mon- Fri 17:00 – 20.00. Nerja C/ Almirante Carranza 15 Tel: 663 083 503 Mon-Sat 10.00 – 13.30 wProps & Vintage (P&V) vintage and retro furniture and accessories for sale or hire. visit our facebook page for details: propsandvintagespain / Website: Email: Tel: 657 424 933 / 646 482 942

GARDEN CENTRES wCosta Torrox Garden Centre for all your gardening requirements. Plants, Fruit Trees, CeramicsBonsai Trees, Compost,Pest Control, Flowerpots, Garden Sundries and much much more! Open Mon Sat 9am -2pm and 4pm - 7pm and on Sunday 10am - 2pm. Find them on facebook: /costatorrox or visit their website

GARDENING wMaintenance of Gardens and Swimming Pools. English, German and Spanish speaking 25 year old. David: 656 775 928 wRed Palm Beetles, Wasps, Ants, Woodlice, Mice, Rats and all pests. Processionary Moths. Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems. Tel: 634 431 099 wSuppliers of a sterile grass – Vetiver. Used for stopping erosion. With an incredibly strong vertical root system. very cost effective. visit for more information on the vetiver Grass System. Call: 692 288 657


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The Sentinella Paginas HEALTH & BEAUTY


wWeight Control - Herbalife Independent Distributor, Bea Savory, 95 253 4795 (business opportunity also available):

wRiosat SL, Reliable internet services in the campo. No telephone line required.Please call for details. 951 239 310 / 626 679 018 Email: / Web: wTechno-Vision, 3G, 4G, Fibre, ADSL -unlimited data, Pay As You Go service available. Tel: (0034) 657 066 782 / UK: (0044) 7835 772 340 Email:

HEALTH SHOPS wRincón Natural Nerja: natural remedies, organic food, superfoods, natural skincare products, spelt husk pillows, essential oils, incense & feng shui crystals. Alternative therapies: personalised weight control coaching, naturopath consultance, craneosacral therapy, massage, Reiki etc. C/ Carretera 1, in front of Supersol, Nerja. Tel. 952 523 503 ONLINESHOP for Europe wHigh Grade Medical Cannabis Oils for sale - helps people with Cancer, Anxiety, Depression, Pain, Diabetes, Epilepsy, Fibromyalgia, Glaucoma. Prices from €30/60ml 6%CBD. Magy's Garden Grow Av.Andalucia 106, Caleta de velez Tel: 952 511 857

HEATING wRedwell® – the leading brand in Infrared Heating Systems. White panels and designs like mirrors, pictures, glass etc. Low consumption, low running time due to partial storage material inside. Prevents damp. Contact/showroom: Avda. El Faro, Bl. 75, bajo 9, Torrox Costa, call 952 539 742,,

HORSE RIDING wCasa El Cielo-Horse Riding Half or full day rides Malaga. A unique horse riding experience with Andalusian horses between the olive and almonds trees of the natural reserve of the Montes de Malaga. Call: 622 897 450

HOUSE CLEARANCES wCash paid. For House and Garage Clearance. Best prices. Get quote. All items considered. Contact Ernie or Martin 616 812 765 / 690 854 154

HYPNOTHERAPY & NLP wMarion Dias BSc (Honours) Clinical Hypnosis and trainer NLP & Hypnosis. Help with Anxiety, Depression, Phobia, Stop smoking, self-confidence IBS, Public speaking as well as one day workshops for stop smoking, and self-healing, in NERJA. E-mail:

INTERNET TELEVISION (IPTV) wIPTV television No frills just like the good old days but up to date Tv service. Tel: 951 390 567 wTechno-Vision, UK & Scandinavian IPTv packages with Catch Up, PAYG available. Tel: (0034) 657 066 782 / UK: (0044) 7835 772 340 Web:

INTERPRETERS wInterpreter - English/Spanish - based in vélez-Málaga. English nationality, but fluent Spanish and extensive experience. Inexpensive hourly rates. Confidentiality guaranteed. Call Toni to discuss your requirements. 952557733 / 606010580

KENNELS AND CATTERIES wThe Dog House While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. Large play area, lots of country walks. Pet collection/del. service. vet services on call. Gourmet meals if required. 'Only the best for your pal'.Ring: Phil 649 079 321 Comares/Benamargosa. Ex cat & dog airlines.UK. Recommended. Refs available. wResidencia Cantalobos The Pet Hotel in La Herradura, offers the highest standards of care for your pets. Call Now - Tel: +34 603 739 886 wHome From Home Dog Boarding at my 10,000m2 finca in Riogordo. No kennels just lots of excercise, fun and cuddles. Also Pet paw casting and bespoke animal sculptures in cement. Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail:

KITCHENS wSun Kitchens, 15 years experience in Kitchens, Doors, Bathroom Units, Shower Screens, Synthetic Flooring & Wardrobes. Cipriando Maldonado 13, Torre del Mar. Tel: 653 63 46 33 / 622 10 13 10 Email:



wGPS Insurance Services - For all your Insurance needs (Personal & Business) Check out our easy to navigate website to request quotes email: Tel/Whatsapp: 722 708 615

Bubbles Launderette Calle Manuel Marin 1, Nerja. open 9am - 5pm Mon - Fri, 9am - 1pm Sat for all your laundry needs. Offering a free collection & delivery service for the nerja area. Call now on 665539256

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The Sentinella Paginas LAUNDRY SERVICES w Linen and Towels for holiday rentals and private individuals. Easy parking. Close to Capistrano village, Nerja. Call: 655 663 572 or email


OPTICIANS wHeiko by Heiko, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar 952 967 923

PAINTING wNo Need to Paint Does your property need painting? Interior or exterior. Call now for a brochure: 640 519 482 or 952 594 425 Email:

wCS Abogados , Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (in front of Mercadona). Torre del Mar, Calle Rioja, 69, Edificio Salares, local A. (Near the Bus Station). Free initial consultation, 952 967 004 Email: wAxarquia Solicitors 15 years helping expats and non-residents –Offices in Nerja & velez-Málaga. 952 901 225 or ring Melanie Elst on 685589802 for a free no obligation appointment

wParagliding gift vouchers. Give a dream to your loved ones or fulfill your dream. Fly with an instructor with 30 years of experience without risk over some incredible landscapes in the mountains and the sea, landing gently in front of the beach bar.

wDe Cotta Law Spanish and English Lawyers, specialising in Business Law, Debt Recovery, Company Start-ups and more. Multilingual. Calle Diputacion 11, Nerja 952 527 014

wAndy Mann UK Corgi-registered Domestic Water and Gas services. All areas covered. Combi boiler technician. Emergency Breakdowns Tel: 633 875 588 Email:

METALWORK wMetalwork made to measure - Gates, Doors, Rejas. M.O.T. welding and on-site repairs. All areas. Also building work. All work guaranteed. We support the Axarquia Animal Rescue Charity. Andy: 676 719 066 Email:

wEnglish/Spanish Plumber Over 30 years experience, trained and qualified in England. All plumbing work undertaken. For a fast and reliable service call José on: 615 344 123 / 638 609 906 wPlumbing by Chris, repairs, replacement & reforms. Est. since 1982. Call Chris: 674 617 379. No call our fee!



wBlue Badge Mobility.S.L Hire & Sales of Mobility Scooters, Wheelchairs, Bathroom aids, Toilet Aids, Stair Lifts, Long term rentals, Best prices on the Costa. Quality Service. Contact Gary Or Sara 952967015 /635445279

wWe can receive all your mail for just 95€ per year (80€ subsequent years) Incl. Letters and Parcels. Easy parking, open 10.00-14.00 Monday to Friday. Call Helen: 655 663 572

MOSQUITO/FLY SCREENS wWorking on the Costa 11 years. I will beat any genuine quote. Professional service. Call Steve: 653 303 698 wMosquito Screens made to measure & repairs. Plus nets for your pets too with reinforced dog flap. Call: 674 617 379. No call out fee!




PRINTER INK CARTRIDGES wInk Cartridges for all makes of Printers. Original or Compatible. Tuesdays: Jardines del Trapiche Market. or call for free delivery 627 242 977 email:


wRods motorcycles. Mobile motorcycle service and repairs. From scooters to superbikes. All makes and models. Factory trained technician. Contact 633 287 190.

wAlexia 2nd phase in Caleta de velez, 112 apartments and penthouses, don’t miss out! Set in a privileged location, the best in Caleta. Call: 952 783 531 / 910 516 354



wJoinery - Maintenance - Removals All aspects of construction work undertaken from ground works & below, to the roof & all in between. We also do removals & courier services. Free quotes; 611 015 149

wBuy A Home Spain C/ Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: Website:


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The Sentinella Paginas REMOVALS


wTransportation to UK to Spain to UK. Whole van loads or single items. Good rates. Regular trips. Also local removals. Call Graham: 620 353 594 Email:

wPERFECT Alarm S.L., Caleta de velez. High quality security systems, like video surveillance, alarm systems, perimetric protection systems, home automation. Worldwide surveillance of your property. If requested, we are licensed to connect to a monitoring station. We speak English and German. Call Mr. Martin on 608 517 661

wTony Roam Removals UK to Spain to UK email: / ES 636 393 542 UK 07973 362 003



wRent a Car Estrella Rent Delivery and collection at Malaga airport or in your location. Automatic cars. Unlimited kilometers, full insurance, vAT and additional driver included. - 952 511 209

wDel Prado & Partners, specialists in many areas of Spanish Law. Call: 952 52 72 74 / 952 52 17 47

RESTAURANTS wTaj Mahal (Torre del Mar) Avenida Andalucia,Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053 wTaj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 / 667 934 731 wIndian Palace Barriada Buena vista, Puente don Manuel Tel: 952 510 963 Mob: 616 942 212 Email: wRestaurant Caribe, Bloque 7, Local 13, Costa del Oro, Torrox Costa. Tlf: 952 530 831

SATELLITE T.V. wTotal Satellite Installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266.

SECOND HAND SHOPS wCarousel Second Hand Furniture, Vinuela Pueblo (Under Cajamar Bank), access via steps at side of bank, or slip road behind bank. Open Tues - Fri 9.30am - 2pm Call Gilly: 625 827 193 wSweethome Second Hand Shop. Second hand furniture and decoration, Bric a Brac, etc. We also buy your unwanted furniture and undertake house clearances with delivery service or pick up. Email: Contact Patricia: 625255487. Jardines del Mar del Penoncillo, BLQ 32, Torrox Costa wSecond Hand Shop, Garantiauto. Do you need money? Buy & Sell! They buy everything; Cars, Motos, T.v’s video Consoles, Mobiles, Furniture & Toys etc... Call 625 317 360 / 952 53 00 84. On the N340 Penoncillo No. 34, direction Nerja, next to varadero bar.

STORAGE/ PARKING wCaravans/boats storage + general storage. 24hr security, best rates. Caravan storage from under 1€ a day. Long term discounts also available. Almayate Costa N340. Tel: 680 180 468 wNerja Personal Storage, fully insured with CCTv security. Secure storage / easy recovery / discount for bulk quantities. Prices from 14€ per m3, 5€ per suitacase (per month). Call: 951 833 338 / 682 525 106. Poligono Castillo Alto 66, Nerja.150 metres behind Lidl on right.

SWIMMING POOLS wAquamarine Pools - C/Playa Marina, 2D, Torre del Mar. Maintenance, Technical Service, Installations, Repairs, Diagnostics & Consultations. Email: Tel: 952 54 57 55 / 600 811 355 wPlodgepools - Green ponds returned to crystal clear pools Maintenance plans adapted to your needs, installations, replacements, products and covers. Over 10 years working with very happy customers in La Axarquia. Call now for your first FREE pool consultation. Tel: 690 070 569. E-mail: wLA RUEDA, S.L Installations, Chemical Products, Maintenance, Repairs & Gardening. Call 952 53 07 64 / 616 460 844. Emergency 24 hour 647 759 798. Ctra. Nal. 340, Urb. La Charca, 5a Fase. (esquina C/Mercurio) Torrox Costa Email:

TAXIS w 24 Hour Taxi - English speaking. Call Javi on 653 917 004 w Need A Taxi - call Luis Gonzalez - Airport Services Algarobbo/Torrox area Call: 606 15 33 23 / 628 23 91 83 or email:

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The Sentinella Paginas TRAVEL AGENCIES


wSchlosser Reisen SA Travel Agency & Tour Operator Excursions, Hotels & Tours, Flights & transfers Tel: 952 530 875 / 608 039 802 Avenida Esperanto, 980 Email: Languages spoken: German, French, English, Spanish

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VETS wPet Vet Clinic La Herradura, vaccinations, X-Ray, Dentistry, Operations, Pet Shop & More... C/Alhambra Nº3, La Herradura. Tel: 609 977 564 We speak: English, German, Swedish, Finnish & Spanish

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Cayet Abogados is an International Law Firm that comprises of a multilingual group of lawyers: our partners speak Spanish, English, German, French, Swedish and Dutch. Cayet Abogados take time to understand the distinct demands that each client faces. This allows us to build a bespoke service to suit each relationship. Our practice areas are: Property & Conveyancing, Wills, Inheritance & Probate, Family & Matrimonial, Litigation & Dispute Resolution, Residency & Taxation, Affidavits Contact us now for a Free Consultation Whatever your needs, your first conversation with one of our legal experts is an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to understand your situation.

Avda. Condado de Huelva, 9 - TORRE DEL MAR Tel: 951 13 72 69 Mob: 626 72 99 26

Urb, Costa del Oro, Blq.3 Opposite Mercadona Local 14, Torrox Costa Tel: 951 196 388 / 649 123 068

Arenas Build: 208m


Calle del Mar 23 (Corner of Avda. Andalucia) Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 601

Ref.: 10105 Plot: 3,057m2

Fantastic villa in Arenas with a panoramic view of the sea. The property consists of a large, bright living / dining room combined with a very well equipped kitchen. There are three bedrooms, the main bedroom has an en-suite with a large bath and separate shower, all rooms have access to the terrace. There is also an additional bathroom, both bathrooms have double sinks. The large terrace invites you to take a breathtaking view, to Torre del Mar and vélez-Málaga. For cool refreshment, you have a large private pool (12 x 4 m). For more comfort, there is a shower and toilet outside the property. Features: Floor heating and air conditioning all through the house, solar heating, fireplace and ceiling fan in the living room, alarm system, double glazing, large wooden doors, automatic gate, and parking for several vehicles

EXCLUSIVE!! Price: 445,000€



An entire hillside of 363,000m² for sale with a part reformed, 405m2, 100 year old, country house set in the hills above Malaga. Potential for six bedrooms with extensive outbuildings and marvellous views


BENAMARGOSA FP0800 A 145m , luxury, three bedroomed 2

villa on a 5,383m2 plot set in the hills above Benamargosa with diving pool and marvellous views



A fully reformed and fitted out, one bedroom, village house in this historic village near Frigiliana and on the edge of the National Forest Park

79,000€ Calle Dr Fleming, 1 Nerja. 29780 Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306 / 606 087 362

The Sentinella Axarquia October 2017  

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