The Sentinella Axarquia December 10

Page 68

68

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Random Jokes Yesterday my wife asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. She suggested I go down the the senior centre and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a parachute club. She said "Are you nuts? You're almost 70 years old and you're going to start jumping out of aeroplane� I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card. She said to me, "You idiot, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!" I'm in trouble again and don't know what to do! I signed up for five jumps a week! ------------------------------------------------------------During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised. "Well," said the director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup or a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person

would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" ------------------------------------------------------------What do you call the first Afghan off the boat? Amhere! What do you call the second Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwel! What do you call the third Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwell Azhim! ------------------------------------------------------------Schoolgirl says, "Mummy, I know where babies come from" Mum replies, "Where's that then darling?" Girl says. "Mummy and Daddy take their clothes off, and Daddy's thingy sort of sticks out and Mummy puts it in her mouth and sucks it, and that's how you get babies". Shaking her head, Mum says, "Oh darling, that's so sweet, but that's not how we get babies. That's how we get flowers, jewellery, clothes, shoes and all the decorating done!�


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