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The Axarquia Sentinella Edition No 113

January 14

Internet & Telephone Tel: 951 232 800 / 652 216 043 See advert on page 17




Tel: 607 441 959 or 654 184 242

arkwrighTS The British Store & more

95 25 19 780

The ‘FREE’ little mag that fits in your bag

Tur ni ng Dr eams i nt o Real i t y For Sale

Ref: S3-329

For Sale

Ref: S4-149

For Sale

Ref: S3-283

Puente don Manuel

El Trapiche

Puente don Manuel

Deceptively spacious 3 Bed 2 Bath Villa (140m² built, 405m² plot), large living room with fireplace, large dining room, 3 double beds (master en-suite), family bathroom, lots of sunny & shaded terraces, pool and mountain views, convenient for all local amenities

Lovely 4 Bed 2 Bath Country House (150m² built, 1,000m² plot), set in attractive gardens with plenty of plants, fish pond, great pool, total privacy, living/dining room with wood burning fire, air-conditioning, glass doors to the garden, wonderful large modern kitchen/breakfast room, 4 bedrooms and 2 modern bathrooms, excellent access via a tarmac road

Beautiful 3 Bed 2 Bath Villa (140m² built, 653m² plot), very high standard, convenient location, wonderful views, entrance hall, spacious lounge/dining room, large semi-circular terrace with BBQ, f/f modern kitchen, 2 double beds (one with dressing room), separate en-suite studio apartment, storage, private parking, mature gardens, variety terraces & 8m x 4m pool



Sales Price: 182,500€ (NEW!)

For Rent

Ref: R2-251

Torre del Mar

Spacious 2 Bed Apartment (75m² built), entrance hall, large lounge/dining room with patio doors out to the terrace, f/f kitchen with outside utility area, 2 double bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, and a modern bathroom. There are communal gardens, pool, and secure underground parking

Sales Price: 199,000€

Ref: R3-277

For Rent


Superb 3 Bed 3 Bath Townhouse (160m² built), popular location, close to golf course, shops, restaurants & beach, spacious lounge/dining room which leads to a terrace, f/f kitchen, 3 beds and 3 baths, various large terraces with sea and mountain views, communal gardens and pool, and 2 places in the underground garage

Sales Price: 229,950€

For Rent

Ref: R2-091


Fantastic 2 Bed 2 Bath Apartment (60m² built), short walk to beach, marina and the local shops, supermarket, bars and restaurants, spacious lounge/dining room, separate modern, f/f kitchen, 2 double beds, (master en-suite), family bathroom, very spacious covered terrace, garden with lawn, communal gardens, fabulous pool & underground parking

Rental Price: 450€ per month Enquire about our next FREE Legal Clinic

Rental Price: 700€ per month Rental Price: 500€ per month email: Enquire about Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, our FREE Financial Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar Advice Clinic Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414

(You’ll find us located on the main road opposite the Torre del Mar bus station)

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


CONTaCT US: Editor: keidi Email:

m Fro Ed... the Happy New Year to all the readers of The Sentinella, from all of us who work at “the little mag that fits in your bag:” Keidi, Kami, Tony, Tina and Chris!

It’s our wish that every single one of you has the best year of your life in 2014. Love more than ever, shine your Light, know that you are a special soul, and express gratitude for all that you have and all that you are. These are some of the keys to living a fulfilled and happy life and I try to practice them every day. For me, last year was full of change and amazing happenings. In 2013 I published The Light: A Book of Wisdom, sold it into 8 languages, sold it to a US publishing company along with a second Light book, helped numerous other aspiring authors to get their books published, did my first ever speaking event to an audience of 180 people, married the man I love, and moved to the USA to be with him. So as 2014 begins, I’m feeling blessed and excited to see what this next year brings. I’ve learned that so long as I’m doing what I’m passionate about (which for me is writing and spreading Light to the world) then I’m happy, and I’d imagine it’s the same for every one of us. After all, when we do what we love to do, everything else follows. My personal resolutions for the year ahead are as follows:

Sales: kami - 664 210 468 Distribution Tony - 664 689 138 Sentinella axarquia Edition Follow us on Twitter @ The_Sentinella or @keidi_keating


Deposito Legal Ma-1435-2005 No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. So there!

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest in peace. (Born; 1960 Died; 2004)

· To spread Love and Light to those around me every single day · To do volunteer work for an old people’s home and / or children’s hospital · To write at least 2 books and get them published


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· To continue meditating daily and doing yoga at least 4 times a week · To make 3 new friends who share my love of spirituality and a positive mindset · To continue doing even more of the things I love to do on a daily basis · To learn at least one new skill. I hope this list of resolutions inspires you to create your own and take the steps to fulfill them. Wishing you an abundance of blessings in your life in the coming year…

Strange News Bearly believable - Passers-by in a Californian seaside resort couldn't believe their eyes when they saw what seemed to be a live bear in a Lamborghini supercar. People in Huntingon Beach crowded round the vehicle to take pictures of the sportscar's unusual pasenger. More than 112,000 people have watched a video of what certainly looked like a real live brown bear, but it turned out to be a clever prank staged to promote the launch of a new YouTube comedy channel. One user commented: "What to do if your Lamborghini does not get you enough attention?" while another punned: "LamBearGhini."

Keidi Keating

Editor (of the original little mag)

New Years Resolutions........................Page 8 Countries of the World......................Page 20 Film Review........................................Page 24 Find the Face.....................................Page 39 Health Watch......................................Page 56 Useless Facts.....................................Page 62 Faceless.............................................Page 70 Paparazzi...........................................Page 86 Amazing Marine Life..........................Page 88 Competition........................................Page 92 Horoscopes........................................Page 93 Information.........................................Page 98 Jokes................................................Page 100 Puzzle Pages...................................Page 102

Picture Perfect - Residents of a Merseyside housing estate are worried that property prices may droop - after realising it looks like a giant penis on Google Maps. The combination of George Road, Edward Road and Yeoman Cottages in Hoylake, Wirral, create the similarity, reports The Mirror. Householder Carl Hodge, 45, said: "Since someone spotted this on Google Earth we have all become a laughing stock. You can't argue because it does look just like a man's genitals. "I haven't heard of anyone moving out because of it but we are definitely worried it would put off potential buyers if we ever wanted to sell. "Who would want to live in the cul-de-sac that everyone is taking the mick out of?" The houses, currently worth an average of about £200,000, were erected in the 1950s and 60s but the likeness was only revealed when locals checked Google satellite images. Mr Hodge has even suggested Google 'remove the street from the internet' for fear of reprisals. “It might be funny but it's no laughing matter if you're trying to sell your house," he added.

Inmobiliaria BENaLMaDENa PUEBLO ref: 2614-S

Nice terraced house of about 100m² with sea views - 3 bedrooms with built-in wardrobes, 2 with a/c, 2 baths, huge lounge with gas-chimney, fitted kitchen, patio, terrace, balcony, communal pool, store-room, big garage, approx. 4 km to the beach



ref: 2908

Terraced house of about 125m². 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, kitchen, lounge, terrace, balconies, patio, unbuilt cellar room with sep. entrance, communal pool, quiet situation and at about 200m from the beach



ref: 2757

Nearly new house of 210m² on plot of 600m² with separate apartment - 4 beds, modern kitchen, 4 baths, pool, several terraces, garage, about 2 km to the beach

299,000€ CaLETa/TraYaMar

ref: 2914

Luxury Chalet of 800m2 (divided in 2 individual flats & 2 apartments) on plot of 1,600m2. Central heating, lift to upper floor, private fenced pool, garage for 5 cars, beside Baviera Golf, approx. 300m to the beach, near Caleta port, fantastic views


Urb. La Sirena 113, 29790, Benajarafe Tel: Iris Werner 952 51 51 42 Mobile 629 888 170 More properties on

Have a very Happy & prosperous New Year!! From Rashid, his family and staff Menu del Dia - 6.95€ (Vegetarian 6.50€) Monday - Friday 12pm - 4pm 3 courses (including vegetarian)

Help yourself Buffet - Sundays Adults - 10.50€ Children under 10 - 5€ / 1pm - 4pm Includes various starters, mains, vegetarian dishes, rice and bread

Special Menu Monday to Friday - 10.50€

Poppadom, Onion Bhajee / Vegetable Pakora / Veg. Samosa, Prawn Puri & Chicken Tikka Chicken, Lamb, Prawn Vegetable - Vindaloo / Balti / Jalfrezi / Tikka Masala / Korma / Dansak / Biryani / Chicken or Lamb Tikka Pilau Rice / Naan / Tea or Coffee Avda Andalucia, Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar

Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053

Open: 12.00 - 16.00 18.00 - 24.00 everyday TAJ Mahal Restaurant

wishing Everyone a happy New Year!

Sunday Roast of wine € 8.50 Bookings recommended

All Day English Breakfasts, Full Menu Open from 10am 6 days a week (closed Mondays) Karaoke every Saturday night (in 8 different languages)

Quiz Night every Thursday from 8:30pm with cash prizes APARIV Charity Quiz last Friday of every month

C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 544 362


50€ m 3

FrEE Delivery 646 832 068 665 381 525

CarBON ENCiNa 12€ FOr 20 kiLOS

h a ve We now for g seatin 20 more

Tapas 1.30€

Tuesday, Wednesday & Friday 10am - 2pm / 7pm - ? Thursday 9am - 2pm / Monday closed Saturday & Sunday 7pm - ? Showing live Bundesliga German Breakfasts Avda. Duque de Ahumada 21, TORRE DEL MAR

Tel.: 692 814 131


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New Year Resolutions Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2013... I will think of a password other than "password" or "hello". I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I promise to clean my room once a week even though I haven't cleaned it more than once in the last year.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

Cut down on exercise. Too much is bad for your health, it can even kill you.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water. Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing. I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine email addresses. I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).

Watch more TV. It's very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years. Draw up a list of people who were nasty to you in the past year, get your own back on them in the next year! Learn what the hell "resolution" means.

TAJ MAHAL Traditional Indian Tandoori Restaurant Torrox Costa EaT aS MUCh aS YOU


Main Dining Room

11.95€ Children under 10 - 6.50€ King Prawns not included

Special Party Room

We offer an´all you can eat’ menu (as many starters, main courses & desserts as you want) all freshly cooked to order

Massood and his team would like to thank you for your custom over the last year and to wish you all a Happy New Year!! Menu del Dia

Poppadum & Pickle tray - Chicken, Lamb or Prawn Curry Rice or Naan Bread - Only 7€ (Vegetarian curry - 6.50€) Open every day - 12.00 - 16.00 / 18.00 - 24.00 (closed Tuesday Lunch) Ctra Nacional - 340 (Next to Post Office) Torrox Costa

Tel: 95 253 4972 / 634 051 535

Come in and enjoy our winter collection up to 40% off!


NErJa - C/El Barrio, 20 Tel: 952 527 261 TOrrE DEL Mar - avda. andalucía, 68 Tel: 952 545 749

TAJ MAHAL - VENTA BAJA Ali, his family & staff would like to thank you for your custom over the last year and wish you all a Happy New Year!!



Monday - Thursday Day & Night (except Monday lunch) Poppadam & Pickles Selection of starters: vegetable samosa or pakora or onion bhaji or Prawn puri or Chicken tikka Main course: chicken, lamb, prawn or vegatable: Korma, Madras, Vindaloo, Balti, Jalfrezy, Rogan Josh, Tikka Masala, Karahi, Biriyani or Chicken or Lamb Tikka Accompaniments: Plain or Pilau rice. Plain, Garlic, Cheese or Onion Nan Bread or Chapati FrEE Pappadam with Mango Chutney & Pickle Tray with all meals

Menu del Dia Mon-Fri 12pm - 4pm 3 courses €5.95 with veg. curry €6.95 with meat/prawn curry

Takeaways available Free Pappadam & pickle with takeaways

Opening hours 12pm - 4pm and 6pm - 12am every day (closed Monday lunch) Puente don Manuel (Chiringuito antonio) Tel: 952 510 886 Mob: 667 934 731

B O a r D i N g C aT T E rY Canillas de aceituno

We offer safe, tranquil accomodation for your cat. Our pens are safe and secure but with all the comforts of home, making it very cosy. Only 20 mins from Torre del Mar, inland towards Vinuela, Campo Cats is a short 2 min drive from a main tarmac road which gives very good access.

R FUEAL N! New powerful 500cc 4x4 Buggies on the Costa del Sol. Discover the magnificent inland Andalucia in a spectacular way! w w w w

Half day tour 31/2 hours The ideal gift or just an adrenaline boost Ideal for stags, hens or birthdays, etc. Drivers from 21 years with licence

We welcome inspection visits where we can discuss your cat’s personal needs. We only accept cats that are fully vaccinated Also, we can provide a collection & delivery service. For further details, call Linda on: 665 510 735 Campo Cats Cattery

You will experience the ultimate adventure, crossing rivers in a ”breathtaking” manner and being guided to places you have never been. Come and have a try!!

Call: 653 635 180 Email:


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De Cotta Law Debt Recovery - Litigation – Creditors and Debtors by De Cotta Law Succeeding in getting a judgement in your favour in the Spanish or English courts is often the first step in recovering a debt or claiming compensation. However whether you will be able to actually obtain the money that is owed to you depends on carrying out proper searches and obtaining embargoes or charges to protect the assets while the claim is proceeding. If you are owed money by a developer or company or as a result of a private loan it is best to search for property and assets immediately. Property searches can be done and in some cases information can also be obtained about cars, boats etc. Information on bank accounts can only be obtained once you have a judgement as it is only the courts who can make these orders. In England a search can be by postcode only but in Spain it is necessary to search under named individuals or by Finca (Property) number. Equally finding out where the debtor works or lives can be relevant. For example a child maintenance debt can be charged against salary on the basis that the welfare of children is paramount. Once a professional firm or agent has found property in the name of the debtor a request can be made to the court to embargo or charge the property so that it cannot be sold while the debt is proved and or repaid. Often it is best to do this before formally notifying the debtor to avoid them selling or transferring the asset. In Spain the next step is to send a burofax or notification of your claim and ask for immediate settlement. If a charge against the property is obtained and you win the case you can seek enforcement against the assets which means you can ask

the court to auction property to recover your debt. The time this takes will vary depending on the speed of the local courts. However although costs and fees will have to be paid before you get recovery and the whole proceeding may take a considerable time it is often the only course of action open to someone who is owed money. For more information on recovering debt in Spain contact De Cotta Law on: Tel.: +34 952 527 014 Fax: +34 952 523 428 Email: Nerja Office: Calle DiputaciĂłn 11 29780 Nerja

To Advertise Call 664 210 468

Home Security Tips... For the dark winter season. Days are shorter, twilight comes earlier and homes are filled with gifts and goodies from Christmas. Homes are often unoccupied and crime soars. here some hints and tips from ¡PErFECT alarm! SL, for your security. - If you have a security system ─ use it! If it is outdated, and has wires and phone lines which can be cut, it is time to change to a wireless system. - Do not provide easy ways into the house, such as open vents, or pet doors. Keep bushes and trees around windows trimmed low; did you leave a ladder outside the house? - Make sure all doors and windows (including the garage) are locked, even if you are only at the neighbours for just a few minutes. - Don’t advertise you are away. Be careful about what you write in social media (Facebook, Twitter etc). If you pass on your holiday plans on the internet, everyone ─ including internet thieves ─ will know you are not at home. - Put lights on timers to go on and off at different times in different rooms, and leave a radio on. Our alarm systems can be pre-programmed for this, and you are able to monitor it on your iPhone throughout the world. Install movement lights outside the house, and even cameras and infrared fencing. For all your home security needs please call Perfect Alarm SL. See advert opposite

Go to: for all our offers!

Highest Quality, Lowest Price!! Stores located at: Avda. Andalucia, CALETA DE VELEZ & TORROX COSTA

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High School - 1956 V 2013 How the years have changed! Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack. 1956 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack. 2013 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. Scenario 2: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school. 1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2013 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it. Scenario 3: Jeffrey will not sit still in class, he disrupts other students. 1956 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt

class again. 2013 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability. Scenario 4: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.. 1956 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman. 2013 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mum has an affair with the psychologist. Scenario 5: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. 1956 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock. 2013 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

we would like to wish all our Customers a happy New Year!


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Funny Man Quotes with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot." Elayne Boosler

Great quotes from the famous... "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." woody allen

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." David Brinkley "The husband who doesn't tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn't know won't hurt him." Leo J. Burke

"Outside every fat man there is an even fatter man trying to close in." Kimpley Amis - British novelist "The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one." anonymous "I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar." anonymous "No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman." honore de Balzac "You never see a man walking down the street

"Do you know why God withheld the sense of humour from women? That we may love you instead of laughing at you." Mrs. Patrick Cambell - to a man "Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall." David Chambless "The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." Samuel Tayler Coleridge "A man's wife has more power over him than the state has." ralph waldo Emerson

The Sentinella team wishes everyone a very Healthy & Wealthy New Year!!

From Keidi, Kami, Tony, Christina & Chris xxxx

DiSCOUNT MOTOriST CENTrE YOUr BriTiSh FaST FiT CENTrE NOw OPEN!!!! whiLE YOU waiT  FREE Winter check SErviCE 20% off All Clutches 15% off All Cambelts

Up to

50% off All Brakes fitted (off PVP)

New Computerised Wheel Alignment

Full Service


+ Parts

Starter motors & alternators repaired (cheaper than recon/new)


(same day fitting service available)


Call John:

952 507 144 / 664 763 344 C/ Julio romero de Torre, 1 Poligno industrial Panoleta velez Malaga

Industrial Estate TUVESA

Proneumaticos all major debit and credit cards accepted


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es l d i r t n Wor u o C he Of T na uia

a , is list t of Z s d A oa orl ast c w e the thnd e nor a. u ric r r o th ou e on Ame n i c h t 62 Fran Sou er mb on of u N egi r

nch e r F


Population - 243,000 Language - French Located - S. America Capital - Cayenne Currency - Euro Religion - Christian Main Exports - Timber, fish Literacy Rate - 84% Life Expectancy - 77 years G.D.P. Per Capita - $19,600 Total Area - 83,534 sq km National Sport - Football

Interesting Facts - Dense equatorial forests, colonial towns and a major space centre are among the faces of French Guiana, a region of France on the north-east coast of South America. The ethnically-diverse population enjoys one of the higher standards of living on the South American continent. The French social security system is in force, and subsidies from Paris prop up the economy. The first French settlers arrived in French Guiana in 1604. Natural splendour and an abundance of wildlife mean that there is the potential for tourism, but this is inhibited by a lack of infrastructure. The European Space Centre is located at Kourou in French Guiana. Cayenne pepper is named after Cayenne, the capital of French Guiana. In the 1970s Hmong refugees from Laos were relocated to French Guiana. Around two thousand Hmong people settled in an area they called Cacao.

The SMALL Bar with the BIG personalit y!!! The ONLY British Spor ts Bar in Torre del Mar PREMIERSHIP FOOTBALL!! Watch it here!! All Football, All Leagues, All Events ALL LIVE on Enormous 2 metre screen!! PLUS 2 x 50 inch Plasmas Sunny Terrace & GREAT Banter!!! Guaranteed FUN in the SUN!! Across from Cafe Yucas in Avda. Andalucia

Tel: 952 545 188 665 930 442

Old Tram Station

CafĂŠ Yucas Tramline

Carrots Bar

wide range of systems

“PEACE OF MIND” FOR LIFE FROM IBERIAN FUNERAL PLANS Why even think about your own funeral? Because, like it or not, one certainty in life is, we are all going to die. But normally none of us know how, when or where death will occur.

JUST THINK  1. Would your family or friends know who to contact in the first place? 2. Could they cope with the language barrier? 3. Could they cope with all the paperwork and legalities? 4. Would funds be readily available to cover costs? 5. Family could be thousands of miles away 6. Would they have any control over costs at a time of grief? A GUARANTEED PREPAID FUNERAL PLAN WITH IBERIAN FUNERAL PLANS GIVES “PEACE OF MIND” FOR LIFE’S FINAL EVENT. BENEFITS INCLUDE:

1.Funeral costs are fixed - no matter how long you live. 2. No health or age restrictions - unlike some insurances. 3. Removes pressure from loved ones at a time of stress. 4. Fully operational and legally registered Spanish company, which complies with all Spanish requirements (for security). 5.Reputable contracted English speaking funeral directors. 6. No interest charges should you wish to spread payments. 7. Plans are fully transferable to UK should you relocate. 8.No obligation - no pressure home visits from our dedicated staff. For more information contact:

David knight on 952 491 788 / 625 410 735 Email: reg CiF 11138305 / B93156107

We would like to wish all clients, old, present and new a Very Happy New Year!

Up to date vehicle diagnostics from €20 exc. iva

iTv and if required we will take your car for you

all makes & models

air conditioning recharge from €40 inc. iva Servicing includes FrEE pre-iTv with all full services

Dec / Jan FrEE winter check

20% off Clutches


Translation available for any paperwork you may need help with. Car transfer, hospital or Doctor’s appointments, NiE numbers, residencias, all at reasonable rates. Call Brenda O’Brien on: 711 700 781 Come in from the Peugeot garage, past Tuvesa on the right, straight on at the crossroads, Left at the top past the waste ground on the right take first right at the bar SOL Y LUNa, then 1st left

Lidl January opening times 1st Closed 2/3rd 9am - 2pm 6th Closed Open as normal after


Talleres Simon

Calle Claudio Coello, 9 Poligono la Panoleta, velez Malaga

Credit Cards taken


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Film iew Rev Carrie "What did Carrie White ever do to you?" That question is asked more than once in "Carrie," and it cuts to the heart of this new adaptation. Where Brian DePalma's 1976 version of Stephen King's novel was a teenage girl's nightmare as seen through the eyes of a straight male voyeur, this one looks through a

wider lens, and strikes more universal notes of sympathy. This Carrie White (played by ChloĂŤ Grace Moretz) is more conventionally pretty than the scrawny, big-eyed misfit played by Sissy Spacek in DePalma's classic. Her gawkiness is internalised. It's a product of her horrid home life, and the knowledge that she has undefined powers that make her different from other kids, and that her mother Margaret (Julianne Moore) sees them as signs of evil, rather than worldchanging human potential. There's a lot to like in this remake. It's interested in exploring the pain that its characters suffer and inflict. And when Carrie unleashes the full brunt of her powers, it's a magnificent and appalling spectacle. The first "Carrie" was horror. This is tragedy. Star Rating: ****/*****


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New Alphabet A is for apple, and B is for boat, That used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead. Now The Alphabet is:  A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, Perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention. H High blood pressure – I'd rather it low; I For incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L ‘s for libido, what happened to sex?

M is for memory, I forget what comes next. N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, bones that don't grow! P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two. S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears! U is for urinary; troubles with flow; V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know. W for worry, NOW what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found. Y for another year I've left behind, Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind. I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, and I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!

OFFEr 4.95€

4w = 40W C/ Custodio, 9a, Torre del Mar - Tel: 952 54 03 92


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Eating In The UK In The Early Fifties Have things really changed this much in our time? Pasta was something Italians cooked, in Italy. Curry was a surname. Takeaway was a maths instruction. A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower. Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time. All crisps were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not. A Chinese chippy was a foreign carpenter. Rice was a milk pudding and never, ever, part of our dinner. A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining. Brown bread was something only poor people ate. Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green. Coffee was Camp, and came in a bottle. Cubed sugar was regarded as posh. Only Heinz made beans.

Fish didn't have fingers in those days. Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi. None of us had ever heard of yoghurt. Healthy food consisted of anything edible. People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy. Indian restaurants were only found in India. Cooking outside was called camping. Seaweed was not a recognised food. "Kebab" was not even a word never mind a food. Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold. Prunes were medicinal. Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed. Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a real one. Water came out of the tap, if someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it they would have become a laughing stock. The one thing that we never ever had on our table in the fifties .. Was elbows!

Nick Turner Refurbs

Specialising in UPVC & Aluminium windows & doors & Glass Curtains We also offer all building services & a full property management service Official Suppliers and Installers of All Glass glass curtains

Mobile: 679 113 600

ELEGANZA Hairdresser & Beauty Centre We have a special offer every day of the week for hair. For example: Monday - Gents haircut 6€ Tuesday - Wash and blowdry with free hydrating hair mask Beauty treatments include: Facials (Hydrating, Lifting or Toning) Pedicures, Manicures, Lasting Gel Polish, Acrylic Nails, Waxing and Massages Eye Lash and Eye Brow Tint

For more information on prices or to make an appointment call us

Urb. Costa del Oro, Bl.7 Loc. 3, Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 1129 Mobile: 661 650 394

HAPPY  NEW YEAR 2014 From all the  businesses in  Torrox

TORROX Wishing everyone a Happy & Peaceful New Year

The Best Clim Wishing all customers, old, present & new, a very Happy New Year!


Call Tina: 635 864 866 Email:


MULTIPARQUET & SERVICES since 2002 reforming and decorating for you!

Parquet flooring, underfloor heating, decorating, reforms, IKEA Service: we supply, deliver and assemble

Avda. Europa, Blq 83, Torrox Costa Call: Matthias 652 357 584 Website: www.multiparquet .es For more information and no obligatory quote!

mate In Europe

For more information call us on: 952 535 417 :: 686 904 792 616 371 034 Or email us at: Or visit our website at:

Beauty Therapy Complementary Therapy




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a t s o C ToSererpoagxes 30 - 35

re! raza hotel have excellent facilities for your Dog, Cat or Rabbit, the perfect Hotel for your - re pets while you are away. In the countryside a t s x Co your dogs can enjoy secure outdoor play areas Torro with toys provided & kennels with indoor sleeping area & outside run. For Cats, large catteries with cosy beds, toys & activities to keep them If you are thinking if reforming think of Multioccupied. The Raza Hotel also offer a safe parquet & Sevices based in Torrox Costa place to leave your Rabbit or Parrot as well as since 2002 reforming and decorating for you! providing dog grooming services. Open 10amSpecialising in Parquet flooring, underfloor 7pm, 7 days a week. If you would like to visit, heating, decorating, reforms and they provide Paco & Antonio would be happy to show you an IKEA service, they supply, deliver and asthe facilities. For more information call: 952 52 semble. Call Matthias 652 357 584. 5417, 686 904 792 or 616371034, or email: or visit the www.razahorussells British Store always have a great stock of favourite British products. We also have our vegetarian selection back in stock as Have you been to Caribe on the Paseo Marwell as our normal frozen food section. Popular itimo, a fantastic location with uninterrupted ciders such as Scrumpy Jack as well as Guinviews of the Mediterranean. Enjoy delicious ness, lager & Crabbies ginger beer. Cleaning food with menu del Dia for only 7.50€ for 2 products, toiletries, pet food, greeting cards & courses or 9.50€ for 3 courses which includes more. Every month we have special offers in a drink per person (beer-wine or a soft drink. store so please call in to see our January ofThey have fantastic homemade gateaus and a fers. If we haven’t got something you are looknew 3 chocolate gateau to enjoy, great with a ing for please ask & we can try and get it. delicious coffee. Fresh fish cooked Andalucían style, pizzas and value meals such as PinchiContact Lewis insurance Services for reptos de Cerdo de Pollo only 5.50€ and Alinbias utable buildings & contents insurance, car inen salsa de tomates only 3.50€. Paella is availsurance, private medical insurance, pets able from 1.30pm everyday (pre-orders only), insurance, funeral plans, cars bought & sold, includes a soft drink or small beer or glass of call Mark on 653 322 392 wine, bread and Alioli. Takeaway also available. Caribe can even cater for weddings and rebeccah Curtis wellbeing Centre The cenbirthday parties with celebratory cakes made tre is open Tues-Sat 10am until 3pm. Urb. Laot order. Call in or telephone to find out more. guna Beach, Centro Commercial B, No. 16 Torrox Costa, Tel: 952 53 01 22 &  651 956 284 Eleganza hairdresser and Beauty Centre. Jacky Davies is a qualified counsellor with 9 Special offers every day. Beauty treatments inyears experience in both the public & private clude: Facials, Pedicures, Manicures, Lasting sector. Jacky has also worked with CRUSE gel polish, Acrylic Nails, Waxing and Massages (UK bereavement agency) 1997-2003 and is and Eye lash and Eye brow tinting. For more also trained in couples counseling. Jacky is infiormation or to book an appointment call: also trained in Critical Incident Debrief therapy 952 52 1129 or Mobile: 661 650 394 English and was on the team of 2 terrorist incidents and Spanish speaking (9/11 New York & Bali) & has also worked with people who have witnessed other traumatic happy home rentals, specialising in Long deaths e.g. suicides, road traffic incidents etc. term rentals all areas, Properties needed for to make an appointment call Jacky direct on long term, clients waiting. Call: 635 864 866, 657 579 244 t it he abou l l a d a

El Peñoncillo, Torrox Costa

Daily Large selection of Tapas (at least 15 at any one time) - €1 Glass of wine - €0.90 Glass of beer - €1 Wednesday & Thursday evenings “Happy Tapas” 2 for the price of 1 6.30pm - 8pm Friday evenings - Fish ‘n’ Chip night (Free bottle of wine with every 2 meals) Saturday nights - Steak night - Buy 1 for €12 Get the second for €6 Traditional Sunday Lunch - 12.30pm - 6pm Only €10.50 - 3 courses

To reserve call: 952 96 76 55 Opening hours - 9.30am - Close Kitchen open all day (Closed Mondays)

viLLagE tandoori your indian restaurant

The Village offers REAL Indian food and flavours at reasonable prices Enjoy genuine delicious indian food. Our food is totally different from local Indian restaurants

3 COuRsE LunCh MEnu OnLy 7,95€ Take away available Open Mon - sun 13:00 till 16:00 & 18:00 till 00:00 (Closed Wednesday Lunch)

Tel: 952 53 25 74 Paseo Maritimo de Ferrara Promenade Blq 80, Torrox Costa

CAFE SPORTS BAR LA BODEGA Free wifi and Sports on 3 screens Thursday Quiz starts 9pm Saturday Karaoke starts 9.30pm Tapas, Breakfasts, Burgers, Bar Snacks, Daily Specials

3 Course Sunday Lunch - 8€  Served 1pm - 4pm Open daily 10.30am - Late Located behind Tourist Information Office/Library

Torrox Costa Tel: 617 506 550 / 611 232 517

English Dentist:


Dr. Michael Mannish B.D.S. (univ. of London)

Harley St. Cosmetic Dentist of 25 yrs. Take advantage of our free 2nd opinion Competitive prices

Implant Specialist

w w w w

General Medicine Paediatrics Acupuncture Aesthetic anti-ageing Medicine without surgery w Other Specialists w Physiotherapy

Dr. Carlos Castillo GP and Paediatrician (univ. of Málaga)

Dr. Antonio Espitia Corredor Ear Nose and Throat Doctor (Univ. Berlin)

Lda. Mª. Patrocinio Haro López

We Speak English, German & French

Psychology (Univ. Sevilla)

Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08

Please call for more information or send an e-mail:


Bar y Restaurante

Laguna Beach - Torrox Costa

Breakfasts, Snacks & Full Menu - Specialising in Ribs, Wings, Steaks & Chicken - Traditional Sunday Lunch Saturday 18th January - Johny Hollywood Saturday 1st February - Alan Miles From 9pm 10am - 3pm / 6pm - Late / Thurs & Fri Special menus Sunday 1pm - 7.30pm Closed Wednesday For more info call: Thomas or Kerstin

952 968 100 / 696 516 534

Free wifi and PC usage Thomas & Kerstin would like to wish everyone a Very Happy New Year!!

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A New Year’s Resolution The Importance of walking Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at £2,000 per month. My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no idea where he is. I like long walks, especially when they are takenby people who annoy me. The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate. I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.' If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...... just getting over the hill. We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 250 quid. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there!

Clinica Casa Blanca Therapy Centre Torrox Costa since 2008

Osteopathy, Massages, Bowen technique, Lymphatic drainage, Reflexology, Reiki, Shiatsu, Craneo Sacral, Ear-Acupuncture Special Massage Offers!

* Whole body massage 75 min: 1 session = 39€ - 3 sessions = 108€ * Whole body massage 2 hours: 1 session = 59€ - 3 sessions = 167€ * Back, Neck and Shoulders or Legs 45 minutes: 21€

5 sessions = Last one half price - 10 sessions = Last one free (Each session paid separately, discount available only on the last session) *Neck and Shoulders or Feet massage 30 mins *Therapy for pain and illnesses *Osteopathy *Bowen technique *Reflexology approx. 60 mins *Lymphatic drainage *Craneo Sacral Therapy *Reiki/Shiatsu/Metamorphic technique *Ear Acupuncture

15€ 40€ 45€ 40€ 20€ Bianca Bojahr From 20€ Gift Vouchers 45€ available 30€ Forever Living 20€ products Urb. Jardines del Mar / Bloque C3 Tel.: 952 967 628 or 659 374 673 (also home visits) (On the coast road N340 heading towards Nerja, 1 km at the traffic lights at Peñoncillo)

e-mail: /

Cafe - Bar “Serving a selection of new dishes and of course, Fresh Fish! Attractive prices”

Fresh Fish & Chips available everyday just 8€

Cars, offices, patio doors, glass curtains and we can put the tint film into a roll down or vertical blind for occasional use. In fact: If it’s glass we’ll tint it! For more information contact: 958 496 571 / 644 546 176

Special Offer! Delicious Lobster 500gr. - only 18€ C/Marquita 3, Paseo Puerta del Mar, Almuñecar Tel: 958 630 245 / 629 882 696 You can find us near the old Post Office, in front of the entrance to the underground car park. Closed Wednesdays

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


Find The ............? Face - Last month’s answer on page 107

Glass Curtains By Clear-View home Improvements

Covering The Axarquia and surrounding area since 2003

Repairs to Glass Curtains and all double glazed products OTHER SERVICES  Windows Mosquito Screens Solar Film Pool Surrounds Conservatories Repairs to all glazing products

Offer up to 50% off if ordered January & installed in February

Call: 645 066 502 Email:


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Random Jokes The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you find your wife sitting in a chair..... Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.' Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She

took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks she said. 'I had to kill him with the chair! ------------------------------------------------------------And then I said..............


100% Damp Proofing Solutions Welcome to MAdeREINA S.L. we are specialists in preventing and repairing damages from mould, moisture and water leakage by deep-impregnation of surfaces like cement, concrete, bricks tiles etc.

Our high-efficient, 100% ecological and non-toxic LiFE LaSTiNg products give a permanent protection and it leaves a water repellent surface. For Roofs, Walls, Bathrooms, Swimming Pools, Terraces & Foundations. The most effective product on the market and considerably cheaper Saves up to 35% - 50% on energy bills 10 year guarantee and the treatment lasts a lifetime!

For a Free Quotation Call: 958 069 967 / 677 473 487 Call us also for building work and all kinds of reforms

Or email us on: More info on:

English Dental Technician 30 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs Adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call Graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 633 157 891

DENTiST Dr Bakri

*Dental Cosmetics *Implants Crowns & Bridges Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 55 05 21

Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892

Painter & Decorator *Qualified Tradesman *Over 35 years experience *All aspects of the trade covered *Reasonable Rates *References Supplied

628 653 676


Knives up to 8cm 1€ Shears from 3€ - Axes etc... See us at Tuesday Market, Trapiche Mobile Service up to 15kms from Trapiche or a fuel surcharge will apply. Min. charge 20€

Phone or Email for further details: 646 857 775

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Van & trailers. Light haulage, removals up to 25m3, car & boat transport. Vinuela based, 25 years experience. Local or anywhere in Europe. Regular Spain-UK-Spain trips. Phone 636 844 209 E-mail: Tlfn: (+34) 669 899 065 Email:

For all your building & renovation requirements Professional builders for 30 years 10 years trading here in Spain

New builds, Reforms, Terracing, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Block paving, Driveways, Plastering & rendering, Swimming pools, Sound proofing, Damp investigation and rectification, Specialised waterproofing, Electrical works, Architectural service & much more. No Job too big or too small. Free itemised, no obligation quotations at very competitive prices

Tel: 665 322 136 - 952 539 423 *Pilates

Colmenar (Classes in Colmenar & Puente don manuel)

low impact aerobics *Circuit training - freeweights *Personal training - one to one or groups

nO hIDDEn COsTs and free delivery/collection to the airport along the coast to nerja.

Carousel Secondhand Furniture Shop

Call gilly on: 630 211 907

Mon - Fri 9.30am - 2pm La Vinuela Pueblo (Down steps at side of Bank)

Dry Storage available

Bespoke Furniture Windows, Doors and all aspects of Carpentry

Contact: Carol 659 295 346 email:



Chinese New Year 31st January Special Menu Opening Hours 12pm - 4pm / 6.30pm - 12am

avda. andalucia, 35, algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 551 439 Mob: 673 160 208

MENU DEL Dia 5.90€ 6.90€ EvENiNgS

MAN & VAN! Anytime...Anywhere

Locally based, 12 cubic metres

€25 per hour

Warehouse pick ups from Malaga to Nerja every Thursday 20€ per cubic metre

Call Mark: 669 255 968

Tel: Paul 654 59 00 87

NER Specialists in sizes B to J

Thomas Sobel

Counselling Psychologist

Email: C/Pintada, 7 Local 4B, nerja Tel: 618 423 240

Nerja - Office hours - Mondays (Dr. heyman’s Practice) Competa - Office hours & house calls available via appointment

Tel: 622 659 461 Email:

Personal service in nerja since 1993

C/ Los huertos 97, nerja Tel: 952 525 948 or 607 876 198

Plumbing installations & repairs Air Conditioning


Saborito y De Haro Installation Company

Jose Saborito Bruno

C/ Huertos, 52, Nerja

Tel: 95 252 11 39

RJA wOrkShOPS iN NErJa 2014 Self-hypnosis 25 January 1-6pm Self-Confidence 26 January 1-6pm hawaiian huna 7-9 March 1-6pm The retreat 19-23 March 1-6pm ThEraPY anxiety Depression Phobia For full details contact: 34+ 711 771 972



Come and you will see!! avda. Pescia, 18 - 952 52 58 76 29780 Nerja (Malaga)

Advertise your business here for just 20 euros per month No contract required plus receive 3/4 lines of editorial Call: Christina 635 864 866


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rafters rastro – New 2 You Shop. We buy and sell your unwanted household items. We sell a huge variety of goods which are changing every day. Normally we have in stock; a wide range of furniture, lamps, vases, ornaments, general bric a brac, books and good quality second-hand clothes. Contact Alan or Wendy.

La llave de oro, C/Granada 88, Nerja, 952 524 651. Locksmith 24 hrs emergency service, 606 939 929, opening and repairing safes, armoured doors, authorised technical service, key cutting, supplier for quality padlocks, safes and other security products.

Secrets Lingerie Specialist in sizes B - J.. Secrets is situated in the beautiful plaza just off Calle Pintada next to restaurant Oliva. Stockist of Freya, Fantasie, Bestform and Maison Lejaby and for that special present Crabtree and Evelyn body lotions and perfumes...Fantasie and Maison Lejaby swimwear. Also stocking Lounge wear and sleep wear by Charnos perfect Christmas gifts. We have a table and chairs on the terrace outside for companions to relax while waiting. Email: Tel: 618 423 240

Starcar in Nerja for all your car repair needs: bodywork painting, service, pre I.T.V. check, air-conditioning, tyres, brakes, clutch etc. Also car transfers. Find them at Avda Alcalde Antonio Villasclaras just up from the BP garage as you are leaving Nerja on the right hand side and they are below the gym. Call Jonathan who speaks English on 637 801 325

Tips to increase visual comfort and work performance increase: -Adjust lighting to avoid glare. Review your vision once a year and if necessary, use prescription glasses. Wear safety glasses with anti-glare, UV protection and filter for the computer. Blinking regularly and use artificial tears to prevent dry eye syndrome. Every 30 minutes working with the computer rest 5 minutes, looking at objects to more than 6 feet away. Close your eyes and make a slight massage of the eyelids. For more information please consult your specialist Nerja visión Castillo Perez 3,Nerja, Tel: 952 53 39 11

Counselling Psychologist in Nerja and Competa. Thomas Sobel Call: 622 659 461 Appointments available via appointment. Email:



Calle granada, 88 NErJa Tel: 952 52 4651

24 hOUrS 606 939 929


vETS: Rafael Carrillo de Albornoz López José Ma Ramírez Cuevas C/ Rodriguez Acosta, No10 Tel: 95 252 15 07 Fax: 95 252 71 91 NErJa

656 825 319 24 hOUr EMErgEN-

hypno-Therapeutiques - Want help to clear up painful emotions from the past such as; Anger, Sadness, Hurt, Fear and Guilt? MarionDias (BSc Clinical Hypnosis) can help you. Marion uses a combination of therapeutic interventions drawn from Hypnosis, NLP, Time Line Therapy™ and energy healing. Marion specialises in cancer counselling and helping with overcoming depression. We run I day workshops in Nerja for: Stop Smoking, Self-Healing and Reduce Anxiety scheduled for 2nd - 3rd November 2013 at the Balcon De Europa Hotel. Contact: Clinica veterinaria almijara For all your pets veterinary needs, services including in clinic consultations, X rays, Blood tests, Analysis, Teeth cleaning, Surgery and home visits. 24 hour emergency service- 656 825 319. English, Spanish, German, French and Czech speaking. Dog & Cat Grooming. Stockiest for Specific, Royal Canin and other brand names for dog and cat food. Website: Open Monday-Friday 10.00-13.30, 17.30-20.30, Saturday 10.00-13.30.You can call the Clinic on 95 252 1507 for further information. Locked yourself out of your house or having lock problems? Call the 24 hour emergency locksmith, a fully qualified UK C&G tradesman. Or, simply call to book an appointment. Saborito y De haro, C/De Los Huertos, 52, Nerja, 952 521 139. 35 years experience in installations, repairs, maintenance, general reforms, plumbing works, air conditioning, swimming pools, heating, solar energy, gas installations. Call: 609 513 876 or email: New!! al Poochino’s Doggy Bakery. A family run bakery specialising in homemade doggy treats and cakes! Your do will go crazy for them. Now taking Christmas orders for doggy crackers, gift baskets, stuffed stockings and much more. Every Tuesday at the Trapiche Market, Trapiche. Call: 680 740 545 Dentadanés Dental Clinic offer top-quality Scandinavian dental care at competitive prices-a successful concept that has been used since the clinic was established in Maro (Nerja) in 1991. We have two Danish dentists (one female, one male) ready to solve all your dental problems. Please visit our website at for a full list of treatments & prices as well as directions to and pictures of the clinic. Open Monday-Friday 10am-5pm including all summer months. We speak English, Danish/Scandinavian, German, Spanish, French & Italian. Tel: 952 52 96 66. Visit ink and Chips on C/Perez. They have all you need for your PC, such as ink cartridges & peripherals as well as laptop and printer sales. They also offer a technical service 365 days a year Televideo - In teletext work in the following areas: * Broadband: - Internet wirelessly, without permanent contracts. - Internet service for periods of time - Payment system Pay Pal or our office Satellite and terrestrial TV * Installation and realignment of satellite dishes * Installation of antennas for Spanish televison (TDT) * Sale of satellite receivers for other nationalities * Television Air (freeviews) or smart cards * Selling televisions from top brands and technologies * Personalised attention * 20 years of experience at your service posts. Susana and Gerardo invite you to visit the office in Nerja open Monday to Saturday from 10:00 to 14:00 or visit our website 987 Since 1

Open: 7pm-late

continuing monthly Closed ? 


...for that memorable evening out New Menu of the Day.. GOOD price..GREAT food

Celebrate special occasions with us Calle Cristo 42-44, NERJA Tel: 952 524 297 or 952 521 639 Mobile: 605 110 307

Get your dog on the right start this New Year with our healthy nutritious delicious treats. Now offering meal plans. All diets catered for. Trapiche Market on Tuesdays, Call: 680 740 545


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.haveli – Nerja´s premier Indian restaurant. Celebrate a special evening, a birthday party or an anniversary with friends & family. We accommodate large groups. Our extensive menu features many popular dishes as well as our chef´s own creations. Flavours of authentic Indian cuisine combined with warm hospitality makes Haveli the ideal venue for all your memorable occasions. Checkout our special Menu of the Day with multiple options; we offer great food at great price! From November our opening hours are: 7pm - late. We are open on Mondays and closed on Wednesdays. Please call 952524297 or 605110307 to reserve, or Email us at We look forward to seeing you! Olas Bar will be closed from the early January and re-opening got the weekend of the 25th of January, but we have still provided you with a run down of sproting events in January. Football 1st Jan New Years Day full programme of Premier Leaguse and all Division football. 4th/5th weekend is 3rd roind FA Cup weekend 5 live games as minimum. Sat 4th Blackburn v Man C - Arsenal V Spuds Sun 5th Notts F v Westham United-Derby vChelski-Man u v swansea 5th Malaga our local le liga Team are at home to Ath Madrid, 7th 1 st leg of Capitol One Cup semi Final based on FA Cup dates with the 2nd legs w/b 20th of Jan full prog of football on 11th/12th & 18th/19th, 16th Malaga home to Valencia, 25th /26th Olas back open sees the Fa Cup 4th round 5 games covered. Mixed in there FA Cup replays etc. Cricket 3-7 th is the 5th and final test in The Ashes Down under this is followed by a series of one day internationals and then starting in Jan in to early Feb a 3 match 20/20 series. Tennis 13-26 Australian Open. Rugby full union Program struggled to find to much Motor sport. Olas News As always on Jan 1st at 1pm ish we will do our annual new years day Sea dip so get down to the Burriana Beach and to Olas we will as always give you a Treat at the bar after Fancy Dress Welcome The bar will be closed after the Weekends FA Cup Football. Monday 6th untill Morning of Saturday 25th. No quiz this month. Pool League Fixtures for Jan to follow with End of year 1/2 season table. Much of our time is spent working, performing many tasks where most of the information received is of visual type, the good vision will be essential. Every profession has specific visual needs that must be satisfied to perform the job efficiently, safely and comfortably. If there is a visual problem this reduces labour productivity between 4 and 8 percent, so feel free to make periodic visual checks at Nueva Optica. Among the professions that most aggravate dry eye include: finance, computer science, management and all those professions that require computer use... because the flicker is reduced to 50%. It is important to use lenses that increase visual comfort and reduce eye fatigue in front of the screen. Avda. Pescia, 18, Nerja Tel: 952 52 58 76 Chatelin Ortopedia & Chiropodist/Pedicura Practice We are a Company with over 30 years experience in the orthopedic Sector. Linda is a qualified Chiropodist and Henry is a certified prothesis and orthesis maker. For all your inlays and sport inlays, making and repairing prothesis and orthesis, corset-knee, ankle and wrist supports, wheelchairs, walking aids, beds, rehabilitation articles etc...Open Monday - Thursday 10am - 2pm and 3pm - 6pm. Call: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857

ChaTELiN OrTOPEDia & ChirOPODiST/PEDiCUra wMaking & repairing Prothesis and Orthesis wCorsets & knee, ankle and wrist supports

wFor all inlays (inc. Sports) wWheelchairs, walking aids & beds wRehabilitaion articles, etc.

Opening hours: Monday - Thursday 10am - 2pm / 3pm - 6pm Calle la Cruz, 60 Nerja Tel: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857 Email:


Random Joke Pensioners fast minds.. Two businessmen in Cardiff were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop... As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling." No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "What are you selling here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling a***-holes." Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "Must be doing well...Only two left." Pensioners -- don't mess with them!!!!!!

House Sitting available

including your beloved pets dogs, cats, horses, etc. Be safe in the knowledge that your home and pets are well cared for Also maintenance work can be carried out while you are away

Call: 603 544 361 Email:

Advertise Your Business Here From 25 euros per month Choose Your Advertising Carefully This New Year!! Call: 664 210 468 Email:


Advertise Call 664 210 468

Random Joke - A Loving Grandpa A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy." Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William." Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She said to the elderly gentleman,"It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa." "Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William ....the little f*****s name is Kevin."

Specialists in fabrication & erection

Comprehensive service design supply fabrication and erection. Our skilled team have a vast array of experience ideally suited to manufacture, deliver and erect your steelwork and metalwork needs. From a simple beam to a complete steel frame building, lean to’s, garage roof, gates, railings and rejas. Here at Phoenix we can also offer a further array of services such as painting tiling gardening & even pool maintenance. We also construct concrete padstones and bases.

Based in Velez Malaga Ask for Mark

Mobile 671 945 160 or 952 54 9638


Specialising in quality German UPVC, wooden and aluminum windows doors and conservatories With over 40 years experience and 21 years in Spain, we offer an extensive range of services, reforms, general building and maintenance work, including damp proofing and carpentry on both domestic and commercial property. References available

Worried about the security of your home? Call us now for a free consultation Call Stuart on: 622 840 871 or Paul on: 654 590 087 or email us at:

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas


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w no ok t d c nee d Dis u e o y lipp ng thi ut a S y r e Ev abo

A slipped disc, also known as a prolapsed or herniated disc, is where one of the discs in the spine ruptures and the gel inside leaks out. This can cause back pain as well as pain in other areas of the body. The sciatic nerve is often affected in cases of slipped disc. It is the longest nerve in the body and runs from the back of the pelvis, through the buttocks, down both legs to the feet. If pressure is placed on the sciatic nerve it can cause: • a lasting, aching pain • numbness • a tingling sensation in one or both legs The spine - The spine consists of 24 individual bones called vertebrae which are stacked on top of each other. In between each vertebra there are protective, circular pads of cartilage called discs. They have a tough, fibrous case that contains a softer, gel-like substance. The discs help to cushion the vertebrae when you move around. The spinal cord is highly sensitive and passes through the middle of the vertebral column. It contains nerve cells and bundles of nerve fibres that connect all parts of the body to the brain. What causes a slipped disc?


Medical Thermography & Nutrition PREVENTION - EARLY DETECTION - MONITORING

Non Invasive


Radiation Free Pain free

Janet van Dam Tel: 618 989 125

Clinics at El Morche, Competa, Puente Don Manuel

A slipped disc occurs when the outer case of the disc splits, resulting in the gel inside protruding out of the disc. The damaged disc can put pressure on the whole spinal cord or on a single nerve root. This means that a slipped disc can cause pain both in the area of the protruding disc and in the area of the body that is controlled by the nerve that the disc is pressing on. It is not always clear what causes a disc to break down, although age is a common factor in many cases. As you get older, your spinal discs start to lose their water content, making them less flexible and more likely to rupture. Diagnosing a slipped disc - Your GP will usually be able to diagnose a slipped disc from your symptoms and medical history. They may also carry out a physical examination to test: • reflexes • muscle strength • walking ability •sensation in your limbs Treating a slipped disc - It can take about four to six weeks to recover from a slipped disc. Treatment usually involves a combination of physical therapy, such as massage and exercise, and medication to relieve the pain.

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Employee Notice For Old People EMPLOYEE NOTICE ************************** Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering RetiredEarly Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents &

Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTEDor SCREWED any further by the Government. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (EVIL)

“Camping La viñuela” Every Wednesday 10am to 2pm Great selection of market stalls offering local produce, artisan, books, ladies & mens clothing, household goods, jewellery, art, gifts, plus 'pop up' shops...Plenty on offer for everyone!! Fantastic bar and restaurant next door at Bar Camping Wonderful views of Lake Vinuela

1st market of 2014 starts from 8th January.

Directions: Vinuela A356, between Km 31 & 32, look out for Campsite sign. For further information email: or Telephone: 650 380 954 “Wifi Available” Social Groups Welcome! Disabled Facilities


FOR EVERYTHING TELEVISION Providing Solutions to the ever changing Television Services by Satellite and Terrestrial TV Why not visit one of our weekly Saturday Demonstrations and see how we can provide a solution for you (not IPTV) We also repair Flat screen Televisions.

Call 657 484 853

Please call before 10am for same day service

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Julia Andrews Turns 69 To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattans Radio City Music Hall. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favourite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'. Here are the lyrics she used: (Sing It!) If you sing it, its especially hysterical!!! Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting, Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings, Bundles of magazines tied up in string, These are a few of my favourite things. Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses, Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses, Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings, These are a few of my favourite things. When the pipes leak, When the bones creak, When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favourite things, And then I don't feel so bad. Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions, No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions, Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring, These are a few of my favourite things. Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin', Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin', And we won't mention our short shrunken frames, When we remember our favourite things. When the joints ache, When the hips break, When the eyes grow dim, Then I remember the great life I've had, And then I don't feel so bad. Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.




The Parcel Force to be reckoned with

Sending or Collecting items from UK or Europe Opening hours: Monday - Saturday 9am - 6.30pm / Sunday 10am - 4pm arkwrights Puente don Manuel Supermarket




952 519 780 659 375 603

we accept all major credit cards Find us on the web: Email:


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le e s U

acts F ss

ss sele u e r ! ey a s th azing y a w t am l a bu As

Maine produces more toothpicks than any other state in the U.S. The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It to Beaver". The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. *** The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

Rice paper does not have any rice in it.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

Mosquitoes have 47 teeth.

The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.

Dr. Seuss pronounced "Seuss" such that it rhymed with "rejoice."

Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.


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Caterpillars (Processional Pine Catterpillars) Bought to us by Tina from Happy Hounds. Pine caterpillars (Latin name thaumetopoea pityocampa) are probably one of the most unpleasant creatures you will find in Spain ─ certainly in areas where pine trees grow in abundance. They are found throughout the warmer regions of Southern Europe, the Near East and North Africa. As well as causing much damage to pine forests, they are a major danger to animals and, to a lesser degree, human beings. Do not touch them. Warn your children that they are not like the friendly English caterpillars. The very fine hairs on these creatures are poisonous and most dangerous. They can be seen living in silk cocoon-style nests hanging in the pine trees to which they are most harmful, stripping them of their pine needles. When hungry, they leave their cocoon to seek another uninfested tree on which to feed. They travel nose to tail in a line, hence the name ‘Processional’. They are most noticeable from January to mid April and are at their most dangerous in mid/late February. The caterpillars are often seen in the evenings, walking in procession from tree to tree.

wESTON kENNELS  & CaTTErY Fully Licensed kennels Competa Home from Home for your dogs and cats

If they drop onto you or your pet, don't brush them off with your hands because the effect is most unpleasant, causing great irritation, rash and pain. Dogs, cats and people can suffer from shock. The hairs of the caterpillars are still virulent, even when the creatures are dead. Do not hit them with sticks because hairs flying in the air are just as dangerous. Burn them, but be careful of floating hairs. If the caterpillars are in the tree cocoon state, first spray the nest with hair spray (to seal down the hairs), cover the cocoon and the affected part of the branch with a plastic bag, cut down the branch, place it on clear ground and burn it. Take care only to do this where you cannot inadvertently start a forest fire, because during the summer months the undergrowth and trees are very dry. If you live near pine trees, it is recommended that you keep anti histamine tablets handy as an early treatment. In particular, avoid ingesting the hairs. Dogs are most at risk by sniffing the ground where the caterpillars have marched. Take particular care with your eyes. If affected, the result is serious, causing pain and swelling similar to a bad case of conjunctivitis. Treatment: If a person or animal shows signs of shock, get them to a doctor, hospital or vet immediately.

T H E  D O G  H O U S E While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. *Large Enclosed Play Area *Lots of Country Walks *Pet Collection / Delivery Service *Vet Services - On Call *Gourmet Meals

‘ONLy Over 20 years experience Collection service Long or short stays Email:

951 254 134 660 167 902 693 545 989


Ring: Phil (mob) 649 079 321 Email: Comares / Benamargosa Ex - cat & dog Recommended

Refs Available

Friday Market

(Established for over 10 years) Chiringuito Antonio, Puente don Manuel Great market, Great atmosphere, Great prices!!! 9.30am - 1pm

Not just a Market! *Chiringuito Antonio *Taj Mahal Indian Restaurant *The Little Farm Shop *Bird Park

Chiringuito antonio Open 7 Days a week Specialities – Paella and Piri Piri Chicken First Friday of every month – live music and 12€ menu. Wednesday - Italian Night Saturday Lunchtime - Moroccan specialities. Every morning – Coffee and bacon roll 2€. Show this page to claim your free bottle of wine with every Paella that you order!

Something for everyone, so come down for a great morning! New Stallholders always welcome New & Secondhand Only 1€ a pitch! Call Penny: 650 698 684 or Rachael: 662 063 987


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Funny Women Quotes More of those favourite quotes.... "Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means." george Burns

"It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they couldn't charge sixteen dollars for that little tiny jar." Jane goodsell

"The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget is once." E. Joseph Cossman

"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house." Lewis grizzard

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." rodney Dangerfield

"Man has his will, - but woman has her way." Oliver wendell holmes - US writer

"If we lose this war, I'll just start another in my wife's name." Moshe Dayan - israeli general

"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." Sacha guitry

"Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." isadora Duncan "My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe." Jimmy Durante "The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, `What does woman want?'" Sigmund Freud

"Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex." Ellyn Mustard "Woman was God's Friedrich Nietzsche



"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." aristotle Onassis

SAXON S.L JcB Digger Hire velez-Malaga Area services



aTTENTiON: iT iS NOw POSSiBLE TO ChaNgE UNFair CLaUSES OF YOUr MOrTgagES! NEw aCT aBOUT ThE COaSTLiNE! We do a preliminary study of your personal case without charge

Tel: 952 967 932

Mob: 691 302 343

Avenida de Andalucia, 64 (next to the coffee shop “Las Yucas”) MÁLAGA - TORRE DEL MAR

Hea th er Ga il H ar ma n b .a ho ns of the portrait society of America Member Member of the five top pastel art societies Award winning British tutor

Explore your artistic creativity in 2014! Heather welcomes new enrollees for her ever popular drawing and painting classes - now in their fourth year in Spain. Whether a total beginner or a returner to painting, call Heather for further details

Lake Viñuela - Mondays & Fridays For further details call Heather Tel: 628 306 371

Suministros hnos. rivas S.L. Ctra. Frigiliana km. 1, NErJa 952 525 625 / 649 898 741

Pergolas, Doors, aluminium & PvC windows, Chimneys, BBQs, Catering & garden Furniture, awnings & Building repairs...


Bistro Bar

Debbie, her family and staff would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year!! Freshly prepared breakfasts snacks, light lunches and evening meals Daily Menu del dia for just 9.50€ (3 courses)

“ J u s t t he B e s t ” S u n d a y R o a s t f r o m 1 p m WHAT’S ON SATurdAy 25TH JANuAry - CHiNeSe CuiSiNe NigHT frOm 7pm - BOOkiNgS AdviSABle Sky Sports Friends Bar Bistro

Open daily 10am to late

Internet Wi-fi

Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel

Friends Bar Bistro

Tel: 952 519 733


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A Hysterical Moment! Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called 'Mate Match'. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers 'yes', he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. anyway, here's how one game went: DJ: 'Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?' Contestant: (laughing) 'Yes, I have.' DJ: 'Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.' Contestant: 'Brian.' DJ: 'Brian, are you married or what?' Brian: (laughing nervously) 'Yes, I am married.' DJ: 'Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please.' Brian: 'Sara.' DJ: 'Is Sara at work, Brian?' Brian: 'She is gonna kill me.' DJ: 'Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?' Brian: (laughing) 'Yes, she's at work.' DJ: 'Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?' Brian: 'About 8 o'clock this morning.' DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' Brian: (laughing sheepishly) 'Well...' DJ: 'Question 2 - How long did it last?' Brian: 'About 10 minutes.' DJ: 'Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake.' Brian: 'Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.' DJ: 'Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning? Brian: (laughing hard) 'I, ummm, I, well...' DJ: 'This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?' Brian: 'Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for couple of weeks...' DJ: 'Uh huh...' Brian: '...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.' DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' Brian: 'On the kitchen table.' DJ: 'Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. DJ: 'Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?' (Touch tones.....ringing....) Clerk: 'Kinkos.' DJ: 'Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?' Clerk: 'This is she.' DJ: 'Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.' Sarah: (laughing) 'A couple of hours?'

DJ: 'Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?' Sarah: 'No.' DJ: 'Good!' Sarah: 'Brian, what the hell are you up to?' Brian: 'Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest.' DJ: 'Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us. Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.' DJ: 'Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?' Sarah: 'Oh God, this morning DJ: 'What time?' Sarah: ‘8 this morning.' DJ: 'Very good. Next question. How long did it last?' Sarah: '12, 15 minutes maybe.' DJ: 'Hmmmm. That's close enough. One last question. DJ: 'Where did you have it?' Sarah: 'OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?' Brian: 'Just tell him, honey.' Sarah: 'Well...Up the a***. They had to call an ambulance for the DJ he thought he was going to have a heart attack, he could not stop laughing. There was also an unusually high call out of the Sydney Police just after for minor traffic collisions.

“The hire company for the little ones”

We welcome you to inspect, select & collect from our SHOWROOM at LAKE VIñUELA In order to give clients individual attention please phone for an appointment before visiting. We are situated at KM29 (on right) off A356 1km past Camping & Pantano Restaurant. We are signposted from there. From bouncy chairs to buggies, stairgates to sterilisers. Everything you need for when little ones come to visit. PHONE DAWN ON: 627 931 360 WEBSITE: EMAIL:

Meat on the hot Stone

Bring this advert for a FrEE DriNk!!


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One Hungry Little Mouse The extraordinary scene was captured by photography student Casey Gutteridge at the Santago Rare Leopard Project in Hertfordshire. The 19-year-old, from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire, who was photographing the leopard for a course project, was astounded By the mouse's behaviour. He said: 'I have no idea where the mouse came from - he just appeared in the enclosure after the keeper had dropped in the meat for the leopard. He didn't take any notice of the leopard, just went straight over to the meat and started feeding himself.'

'But the leopard was pretty surprised - she bent down and sniffed the mouse and flinched a bit like she was scared. In the meantime the mouse just carried on eating like nothing had happened. But even a gentle shove does not deter the little creature from getting his fill... 'It was amazing, even the keeper who had thrown the meat into the enclosure was shocked - he said he'd never seen anything like it before.'

Project owner Jackie James added: 'It was so funny to see - Sheena batted the mouse a cou-

ple of times to try to get it away from her food.' But the determined little thing took no notice and just carried on.' Sheena was brought in to the Santago Rare Leopard Project from a UK zoo when she was just four months old. She is one of 14 big cats in the private collection started by Jackie 's late husband Peter in 1989. The African Leopard can be found in the continent's forests, grasslands, savannas, and rainforests. the mouse continued to eat the leopard's lunch and show the leopard who was the boss. Just proves no one can push you around without your permission.

What is a Bastard Quite often we ask ourselves hard to answer questions, like, "What is a bastard?"

In the photo attached, the guy on the right is a member of a bomb squad in the middle of bomb deactivation work. The guy behind him, well, he's a bastard.


Traditional Fish & Chips take away (or eat on the terrace)

All your traditional favourites including Kebabs Cooked freshly to order All meals come with either Mushy Peas, Coleslaw, Gravy or Curry Sauce Special Offer: Get a FREE bottle of wine, Coke or Fanta with orders over 25â‚Ź SHADED TERRACE The Town Frier Opening times: Tuesdays, Fridays & Saturdays 12noon - 9pm Wednesdays & Thursdays 5.30pm - 9pm

Telephone orders welcome Local Delivery available

Tel: 608 531 601 Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin

TEES & POLOS Embroidered T - Shirts and Polos

Make first impressions count - Look the part! S - XXXL, Various colours, Free design QUALITY EMBROIDERY Probably the cheapest embroidered polos in the Axarquia!!! NO FADING - NO PEELING Present a great quality image for your clients

Call The Sentinella 664 210 468 Email:

FULL iNSTaLLaTiONS 1.3mtr Dish - Sky+ HD Box (contract with BSKYB required) Receive all Sky channels & the option to have ON DEMAND with ‘Catch Up Tv’ including BBC i Player, ITV, 4OD, Demand 5 & more

540€ iNSTaLLED

aSTra 2. Tv “wOrriED aBOUT LOSiNg BBC & iTv?” IPTV is the answer. No dish required Just an Internet connection (1.5MB minimum) 19 Top UK channels 7 day Catch Up TV This is the NEXT GENERATION of TV All this for just 17.99€ per month + installation Please call for more details

1.3mtr DiSh FiT ONLY 280€ Realignments & Relocations from 40€ New Sky+ HD Boxes 260€ Humax Freesat Recordable HD Boxes If we lose all the BBC & ITV channels these are the Digi Boxes for ON DEMaND Tv

we offer garden design and general maintenance including:

Automatic Irrigation Systems, Drainage, Pest Control Garden and Pool Maintenance Pergolas, Printed Concrete

Call: 648 514 120


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Parents Lesson This is the message that the Pacific High School California staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children’s absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children’s failing grades changed to passing grades – even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the term and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes. “Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection.: To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1 To make excuses for why your child did not do his or her work – Press 2

To complain about what we do – Press 3 To swear at staff members – Press 4 To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5 If you want us to raise your child – Press 6 If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7 To request another teacher for the third time this year – Press 8 To complain about bus transportation – Press 9 To complain about school lunches – Press 0 If you realise this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, home work, and that it’s not the teachers fault for your child’s lack of effort hang up and have a nice day!


Every Tuesday 9.30am - 1.30pm

Come and enjoy a cool relaxing morning at Los Jardines del Trapiche, THE nicest market venue on the Costa. Happy New Year!! EASY PARKING Happy New Year!! Outside courtyard and air conditioned function room full of fabulous stalls offering something for everyone. Browse at your leisure and enjoy a coffee in the beautiful shadey gardens Take the A-272 turning onto the Velez-Malaga road A-356. Turn off at El Cruce restaurant towards Benamargosa. Over the roundabout and we are on the left just before the private airfield

Call Anita on: 627 877 164

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


Royal Navy News The Royal Navy is proud to announce its new fleet of Type 45 destroyers. Having initially named the first two ships HMS Daring and HMS Dauntless, the Naming Committee has, after intensive pressure from Brussels, renamed them HMS Cautious and HMS Prudence. The next five ships are to be HMS Empathy, HMS Circumspect, HMS Nervous, HMS Timorous and HMS Apologist.

The Royal Navy is eager to shed its traditional reputation for; "Rum, sodomy and the lash"; so out has gone the rum ration, replaced by sparkling water. Sodomy remains, now extended to include all ratings under 18. The lash will still be available on request. Saluting of officers is now considered elitist and has been replaced by "Hello Sailor".

Costing ÂŁ850 million each, they comply with the very latest employment, equality, health & safety and human rights laws.

All information on notice boards will be in 37 different languages and Braille.

The Royal Navy fully expects any future enemy to be jolly decent and to comply with the same high standards of behaviour.

Crew members will now no longer have to ask permission to grow beards and/or moustaches. This applies equally to female crew.

The new user-friendly crow's nest has excellent wheelchair access.

The MoD is inviting suggestions for a "non-specific" flag because the White Ensign may offend minorities. The Union Jack must never be seen.

Live ammunition has been replaced with paintballs to reduce the risk of anyone getting hurt and to cut down on the number of compensation claims. Stress counsellors and lawyers will be on board, as will a full sympathetic industrial tribunal. The crew will be 50/50 men and women, and will contain the correct balance of race, gender, sexuality and disability. Sailors will only work a maximum of 37 hours per week as per Brussels Rules on Working Hours, even in wartime. All the vessels are equipped with a maternity ward, a creche and a Gay Disco. Tobacco will be banned throughout the ship, but recreational cannabis will be allowed in wardrooms and messes.

The newly re-named HMS Cautious will be commissioned shortly by Captain Hook from the Finsbury Park Mosque who will break a petrol bomb over the hull. She will gently slide into the sea as the Royal Marines Band plays "In the Navy" by the Village People. Her first deployment will be to escort boatloads of illegal immigrants to ports on England's South coast. The Prime Minister said, "Our ships reflect the very latest in modern thinking and they will always be able to comply with any new legislation from Brussels ." His final words were, "Britannia waives the rules."


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& t i u Fr Facts Veg ranges O

Oranges are perhaps one of the most common fruits associated with health benefits, historically being used to ward off – and treat – colds and flu. However, this traditional treat has much more to offer. Oranges are very low in saturated fat, have no cholesterol, no sodium, are high in dietary fibre, potassium, thiamine and of course vitamin C. But it is yet another flavanone in oranges, the herperidin molecule, which has been singled out in phytonutrient research on oranges. Herperidin has been shown to lower high blood pressure as well as cholesterol in animal studies, and to have strong anti-inflammatory properties. Most of this phytonutrient is found in the peel and inner white pulp of the orange, rather than in its liquid orange centre, so this beneficial compound is too often removed by the processing of oranges into juice. Vitamin C – of which one orange supplies 116% of the recommended daily intake -- is the primary water-soluble antioxidant in the body, disarming free radicals and preventing damage in the aqueous environment both inside and outside cells. Inside cells, a potential result of free radical damage to DNA is cancer. Especially in areas of the body where cellular turnover is especially rapid, such as the digestive system, preventing DNA mutations translates into preventing cancer. This is why a good intake of vitamin C is associated with a reduced risk of colon cancer. Free radical damage to other cellular structures and molecules can result in painful inflammation, as the body tries to clear out the damaged parts. Vitamin C, which prevents the free radical damage which triggers the inflammatory cascade, is thus also associated with reduced severity of inflammatory conditions such as asthma, osteoarthritis, and rheumatoid arthritis.

Free radicals also oxidise cholesterol. Only after being oxidised does cholesterol stick to the artery walls, building up in plaques that may eventually grow large enough to impede or fully block blood flow, or rupture to cause a heart attack or stroke. Since vitamin C can neutralize free radicals, it can help prevent the oxidation of cholesterol. The orange, along with some other citrus fruits, appear to offer the most protection significant against oesophageal, oro-pharyngeal/laryngeal (mouth, larynx and pharynx) and stomach cancers. For these cancers, studies showed risk reductions of 40-50% among people who ate one orange a day. One large US study showed that one extra serving of fruit and vegetables a day reduced the risk of stroke by 4%, and this increased by 5-6 times for citrus fruits, reaching a 19% reduction of risk for stroke from consuming one extra serving of citrus fruit a day.

arTiFiCiaL graSS Energy saving & LED lamps to suit every occasion

Do you want a perfect green lawn? Ever thought about Artificial Grass? It is the perfect solution; green, lean and clean! Almost all surfaces are suitable. Enjoy your garden all year round. For more info or a free quotation call:

619 317 211

www.a X arvErDE .COM

Or see me at the Trapiche Market every Tuesday

Call: 664 210 468

Why? Why? Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?

Pure Spanish Enjoyment

El Pozo Taberna Tipica House made

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Sangria Well chosen wines

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? If people evolved from apes, Why are there still apes? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? If you have any send them to us!

SivE EXCLU e h t to l del So Costa ero de r “Somb enca” m la F La

El Pozo

Taberna Típica Paseo Maritimo, 27 Torre del Mar Tel: 951 283 082 Closed Tuesdays


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Kids Say The Funniest Things You’ve got to love em.... 1. The future of "I give" is "I take." John aged 8

7. The general direction of the Alps is straight up. Clare aged 9

2. The parts of speech are lungs and air. Maddie aged 11

8. Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris. John aged 10

3. The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes. richard aged 6

9. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums. Jane aged 8

4. A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population. Luis aged 9

10. The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom. Philipe aged 8

5. Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. Lucas aged 12 6. (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water. Jackie aged 9

11. The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. katy aged 6 12. The climate is hottest next to the Creator. Susan aged 7 13. The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom. David aged 9

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CaLL SaLLY ON 626 038 851 or 952 436 781 Email: At just 6 kilometres from the coast, driving on the A-356 in the direction of Viñuela from Vélez-Málaga is the Hamlet of Trapiche (pronounced Trapeechay) it is named after the Mill that was once there and the old machinery is now on display in a garden with the name TRAPICHE so you can´t miss it! Driving on the old road from Vélez you don´t have to turn off at all and can just park in the street and take a stroll down to the church and the old Apeadero or station house left over from the days of the railway. The old Church or Ermita de San Ysidro Labrador has now been renovated and is worth a visit and there is a monument, near the Apeadero, to Trapiche´s most famous son, the artist and poet Juan Jurado Lorca, born on 15th June 1950. The garden stretch which divides the A-356 from the Hamlet has barbeques and

Sally harrison Owner / agent

benches where the locals can sit and have picnics and lunches. Other places of interest near Trapiche are the Leoni Benabu airport, or flying club where young pilots fly out with publicity banners and fly backwards and forwards along the coast with them, sometimes you can see them flying low into the airport and dropping them before flying in again to land. Also the Buddhist Stupa further up on the mountain overlooking Trapiche and the Buddhist retreat Karma Guen (pronounced Karma Gen) The farmers market, run by ex pats, is held every Tuesday morning in the grounds of the flying club in the Jardines del Trapiche which was once an old Cortijo, La Palma. Here you can buy most things from fruit and veg to second hand computers! To get to the airport turn left at the ever popular Bar El Cruce (pronounced El Croothay) where the menu del día will fill you up for the rest of the day.

Property Of The Month




Deceptively large, 125m2 fully renovated house with a private back garden complete with 7 x 3 metre swimming pool. This delightful property is situated next to a bar and shop in a small Hamlet close to Vélez-Málaga and comprises front terrace, living room with air conditioning and pellet burning stove, through to kitchen/dining room with door to charming courtyard. Bedroom 1 with air conditioning and panel wall heater. Large ensuite wet room. The courtyard has an arched, covered dining terrace with spiral staircase to a roof terrace with mountain views. There is a store room and family bathroom and another spiral staircase leading to bedrooms 2 and 3. At the back of the house is a completely private, fully tiled, terracotta pool terrace with swimming pool and plenty of seating areas plus a brick built bbq. Parking is off road, opposite the house.


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cs i P ny ta Jus


ear nd o c e


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Joke Book

The Light Column

Out now! Yours truely has put together a joke book containing 84 pages of solid jokes & funnies. No pictures, no spaces, just pure unadulterated laughter.

Priced at just a fiver and 1€ from every book to APARIV charity, it’s a must buy to keep by the loo! A great Xmas stocking filler too! Available at the Trapiche Market on Tuesdays or The Friday market in Puente don Manuel. Alternatively, email: or call Tony: 664 689 138

sh op



All with 12 months guarantee We deliver and install in all areas Call us to check out our prices Monday - Friday 10am - 6pm Saturday 10 am - 2pm

952 541 147


These affirmations have been put together especially for readers to awaken your Inner Light and shine! We recommend that you choose no more than three of these affirmations at one time and repeat them consistently five times each, three times a day, for at least two months. Additionally, choose no more than one affirmation (the one that resonates with you the most) and repeat it silently whenever you can during the day. Let it become your mantra and feel its essence penetrate deep into your being. Here are the affirmations: • I am Light • I am the bright light of the heart • I radiate Light to all I meet • Light is my messenger • I allow the Light to guide me • The Light sets me free • My own Light awakens the Light in those around me • I am the Light of the Creator • I bask in white Light and feel it heal me • I am Love and I am Light • I send Light to all the people in the world who need it • I send Light to all the places in the world that need it • My heart shines with Light • I allow the Light to cleanse any impure or negative thoughts • The Light uplifts me and brings joy to my heart • My Light is a magnet for all things good to come into my life • I am a beacon of Light for others • I glow and shine with the essence of the Creator • I choose to live in the Light of my heart • I love the Light for it shows me the way Shine on!

ShaLiMar iNDiaN & TUrkiSh rESTaUraNT DONEr  kEBaB PiZZaS Open: Mon - Sun 1pm - 1am home delivery 7pm - 11pm indian kitchen: 1pm - 4pm & 6pm - 12am C/ La Fuente, 6 - Torrox Pueblo Tel: 952 538 614 - 647 220 813 - 632 854 169

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Recipe Of The Month Coffee Whisky Cake Definitely a cake for adult tastes, best to leave the whisky out if serving for children. The topping of cream is optional or you could use butter cream flavoured with coffee.



Be safe, have your chimney inspected and cleaned before you use your fire this winter

Tel Keith: 607 441 959 or Russ: 654 184 242


Serves 8 ingredients 100g/4oz butter 100g/4oz caster sugar 2 eggs 100g/4oz self raising flour 1 tsp baking powder 2 tbsp coffee granules dissolved in 1 tbsp hot water For the syrup 2 tbsp coffee granules 150ml/ ¼ pt hot water 100g/4oz soft brown sugar 4 tbsp whisky Method: 1. Place the butter, sugar, eggs, flour and baking powder in a bowl and mix well. Stir in the coffee mixture. 2. Spoon into a 200cm/8 inch sandwich tin greased and base lined. Bake at 180C/Gas 4 for 30-35 minutes until springy to the touch. Cool and then turn into a wire cooling tray. Remove the paper and wash the tin. Line the tin with cling film and return the cake to the tin. 3. Make the coffee syrup by placing the coffee, water and sugar in a pan. Slowly bring to the boil and let the sugar dissolve. Boil for 2 minutes to make a syrup. Remove from the heat and stir in the whisky. 4. Spoon the syrup over the cake and leave to soak overnight. 5. When ready to serve, remove the cake from the tin and place on a serving plate. If covering with cream whip 300ml/ ½ pt double cream until it holds its shape and spread over the cake in whatever pattern you like. Dust with cocoa powder before serving.


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$$$ Share’oscope $$$ This month he has gone for 892 Scapa Group @ 112p. The company is operating in the manufacture of bonding materials and solutions Now you are probably all wondering how our Mr. Share did last year. Well here are the figures;




Price before

Price now

Profit/Loss £

Jan Feb Mar Apr May June July Aug Sept Oct Nov Dec

450 215 833 188 256 154 2702 502 3225 1111 769 416

Avanti Greggs ITV Wetherspoon William Hill British Land AFC Energy Develop Sec Parity Skyepharma Wincanton Imagination Tec

222 463 120 531 390 649 37 199 31 90 130 240

250 435 186 755 391 616 33 245 30 122 129 165

126 -60 549 421 2 -50 -108 230 -32 355 -7 -312

A gain of £1,114, maybe this time next year we'll be millionaires?

Local Car and Van Hire Rent on a daily, weekly, monthly or long term Airport collection/drop off Also available to rent cars and vans one way to UK, France and other European countries. Also light removals and man with a van .

Tel: 952 541 147 Mobile: 667 235 205


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ra a p Pa


t ou e gh – dg u u o y j t thr ici t or ter publs of i act c F a r d X ct a ch tracteaspe l u t rf a any lou as co he h for m a s een nd d – s b ife, and ba a h rl a he ood g Profile

rne u o sb O ron a Sh

Full Name: Sharon Rachel Osbourne (née Arden) Birthday: 9 October 1952 age: 61 Marital Status: married since 1982 to rock star – former Black Sabbath leader -- John (Ozzy) Osbourne Children: Aimee, Kelly, and Jack Osbourne Birthplace: Brixton, London Sign: Libra Sharon had an abortion at the age of 17, and lost another baby some years later after being attacked by her parents’ dogs at their home. She then severed contact with her father and did not speak to him again for 20 years. She first came into public prominence after appearing in the reality TV show The Osbournes, which earned her family £11.5m. She later became a talent show judge on shows such as the original British version of The X Factor and America's Got Talent. Sharon met future husband Ozzy at the age of 18 while working for her father, who managed Black Sabbath. When Ozzy was fired from the band in 1979, she took over his management and then dated him. In July 2002, Sharon was diagnosed with cancer, but insisted that filming of The Osbournes should continue. In 2008, Sharon was replaced on the British X Factor by Cheryl Cole. During a 2009 interview on Piers Morgan's Life Stories, Sharon admitted that the reason for her departure was her poor working relationship with Dannii Minogue.

During the BRIT awards Sharon called Vic Reeves, who was presenting one of the awards, a "piss head" and a "bastard" after he appeared to be drunk. Her first autobiography, Extreme (2005) tells of her difficult childhood growing up with her father, and also documents issues of domestic violence, drug abuse, alcoholism, affairs, bribery, colon cancer, robberies, a plane crash, therapy and cosmetic surgery. The book headed the Sunday Times Bestseller list (UK) for 15 weeks. It became the biggest-selling autobiography since British records began, beating the previous record set by David Beckham's autobiography by 100,000 copies, and is the most successful female autobiography ever. Sharon was once quoted in The Guardian newspaper as having sent her own excrement in Tiffany boxes on more than one occasion to people she felt had unreasonably criticised her or her family. Ozzy once knocked out her front teeth in one of the couple’s frequent physical fights. She retaliated by throwing a full bottle of scotch at his head. In August 1989,Ozzy was arrested for attempted murder after tried to strangle Sharon in a haze of alcohol and drugs. She did not press charges. In 1999 Sharon lost 45 kg after gastric band surgery She has admitted spending £300,000 on plastic surgery. In early November 2012, Sharon revealed that she had undergone a double mastectomy after finding out she had a gene which increases the risk of developing breast cancer. The Osbournes’ home in Jordans, Bucks, was burgled in 2004 and gems worth £2 million were stolen. After the incident, Sharon appeared on Crimewatch and offered a reward of £100,000 for the return of her jewellery.


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g n i z fe nfish a i m L A ine n Su Mar cea

s ha nd . a e s cie nc pe peara s h ap fis ny nting o b e u Th gest r, ha r lia a l u he pec is t The largest ocean sunfish ever measured was over 10 feet across, and weighed close to 5,000 pounds.



On average, ocean sunfish weigh about 2,000 pounds. This makes them the largest bony fish specie. Sunfish, or mola, develop their truncated, bullet-like shape because the back fin which they are born with simply never grows. Instead, it folds into itself as the enormous creature matures, creating a rounded rudder called a clavus. Mola in Latin means "millstone" and describes

the ocean sunfish’s somewhat circular shape. They are a silvery colour and have a rough skin texture. Ocean sunfish are found in temperate and tropical oceans around the world. They are frequently seen basking in the sun near the surface. They are often mistaken for sharks when their huge dorsal fins emerge above the water. Their teeth are fused into a beaklike structure, and they are unable to fully close their relatively small mouths. They will even breach the surface up to 10 feet (3 metres) in the air and land with a splash in an attempt to shake off the parasites. Their food of choice is jellyfish, though they will eat small fish and huge amounts of zooplankton and algae as well. They are harmless to people, but can be very curious and will often approach divers.

We w o ul d l ike t o w is h a ll o u r cl ie nt s a Ve r y Ha ppy Ne w Ye ar ! !

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The History Of The Apron I don't think our kids know what an apron is. The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few and because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons required less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven. It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

old apron could dust in a matter of seconds. When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields for dinner. It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes. Remember: Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her grand daughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven. When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids. And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her arms. Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove. Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron. From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls. In the autumn, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees. When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that

UK * FRANCE * SPAIN TravELLiNg iN air CONDiTiONED vEhiCLE DELivErED DOOr TO DOOr PETS STaY iN PET FriENDLY hOTELS aCCOMPaNiED TravEL avaiLaBLE TEL: (0044) 7850 575862 (0034) 667 235 205 Email:


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More Money Raised...

Random Joke :o)

...for Food for Change


A total of €450 was raised for Angeles de la Noche in Malaga, on a second spa day held on 16th November at Paco’s Bar, Puente don Manuel.

A boy comes home and has a school home work question to answer, so he asks his father "Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" His dad thinks and then says "Right-oh son, go and ask your Mother if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a million quid." The boy toddles off and comes back saying "Dad, Dad, she said she would! She would sleep with David Beckham for a Million pounds." "OK son," says his dad. "Now go and ask your sister the same question." The boy toddles off, and comes back saying "Dad, Dad, she said she would too!" So then his dad says "Right, son, now go and ask your brother if he'd sleep with David Beckham for a million pounds." The son comes back excitedly saying "Dad! Dad! He said he would too!" "Well there you have it, son," said his dad. Theoretically we could be sitting on three million quid. Realistically we're living with two tarts and a poof!!!"

The money will go towards their kitchen building project, for which they need to raise €300,000. At present they are working from a Portakabin on the car park next to the Ibis Hotel in Malaga, which means people coming to them for help are out in all weathers. Local therapists gave their services, free of charge, offering treatments as diverse as acupuncture, reflexology, laser liposuction and massage. Additional donations of €112 will be used towards food parcels for Christmas. The next spa day will be in April 2014, at the Lux Mundi centre in Torre del Mar. For further information please contact: Email: or

“The Garden” Bar

Open Monday - Friday 5pm til late (Happy Hour 5.30pm - 7pm) Sat & Sun open from 1pm with 2 Happy Hours 2.30pm - 3.30pm / 5.30pm - 7pm

Pool Table (pool evenings a must) Winmau Professional Dart Board All LIVE sporting events inc. Premier League Football & Ashes Cricket shown on our 2 METRE SCREEN & Plasma TV

The Sentinella Business Services Tel: 664 210 468



A5 Flyers, Full colour, Glossy

A5 Flyers, Full colour, Glossy

500 1000 2000 5000

105€ 135€ 165€ 255€


100 500 1000 1500 2000

30€ 90€ 150€ 200€ 245€

500 1000 2000 5000

120€ 150€ 180€ 270€


100 500 1000 1500 2000

45€ 135€ 225€ 300€ 375€

Design, Photography, Translations & Delivery all Inclusive Websites + Hosting & Domain name for 1 year - 460€


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WIN !!!!!

Competi tion

Your great little mag is bringing you a series of fiendish “Name that building” competitions in association with various local businesses This month is sponsored by arkwrights The British Store & More in Puente don Manuel. They are offering a prize of 35 euros to spend in store.

Simply name the famous building below. If you think you know the answer, then email it to: by 19th January 2014 THE WINNER FOR  DECEMBER WAS  TED HOLMES FROM NERJA CONGRATULATIONS !!!




The British Store & More Your No. 1 Stop Shop Open 7 days a week

December’s answer Petronas Twin Towers, kuala Lumpur

Please note: this competition is not open to employees of The Sentinella Magazine or Arkwrights. The competition is open from the 1st - 19th January 2014. The draw will take place on the 20th January and winner notified by the 1st February 2014. Only one entry per person. We will announce the winners full name in the February issue.


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s e p o c s Horo by Juanita Banana of ARIES: March 21-April 20 As the new year begins, you may feel harassed by chaos and conflict. Tackle this by maintaining equilibrium as best you can, particularly with others and most especially within relationships. Wade through this difficult period and you will relish the new level of harmony that´s created

what is safe, necessary and dutiful. Pleasure is unfortunately limited but can be achieved through creative art or cultivation LIBRA: September 23 - October 22 With the help of family love, you are creating solid foundations as tradition and inheritances become more important to you. Couple this with your ability to envisage possibilities with clarity, you can shape great success within your world

TAURUS: April 21-May 21 As the new year unfolds you consider new life plans and goals and some areas that you previously considered important will be less so. A good time to study, research, cultivate new ideals and to lead new projects

SCORPIO: October 23 - November 21 Your future depends on how to apply your current knowledge while accumulating and fostering further knowledge by means of practical education. If difficult responsibilities have inhibited learning in the past, now is the time to let go and fly

GEMINI: May 22-June 21 New avenues are about to open for Geminis. Have patience and be careful not to allow uncertainty to lead you away from them. They will positively affect your relationships, your work, your creativity, home, children, and even your pets. As this new cycle, lasting two years, begins your vision will be redefined and redirected

SAGITTARIUS: November 22 December 21 Care and caution with resources, particularly financial, should be maintained by Sagittarians at this time. Plan how best to utilise and organise your time and resources and your life will be more fulfilled now and in the future

CANCER: June 22-July 22 You will initiate partnerships, allies and groups in order to create a change of environment in your life. To achieve your goals, you must be willing to work in partnership, rather than sole leader, most successfully with Arians, Librans, and Capricorns LEO: July 23-August 23 You become pragmatic, more organised and efficient. Everything at work is serious business, almost to the point of too much responsibility, creating inward tension. Be especially careful of yourself and children and find time for laughter and play VIRGO: August 24-September 22 Virgoans need to be conservative with time during January and limit yourself to

CAPRICORN: December 22 January 20 To climb the mountains you encounter during January, you need self-control and discipline throughout all levels of your life. Be patient and your steadfastness will lead to a series of satisfying achievements AQUARIUS: January 21-February 19 A glitch in life occurs for Aquarians in January and is symptomatic of the rest you currently require. If you're feeling stressed, fatigued or low on self-esteem, try swimming or other exercise, writing, and seek the company of friends who listen PISCES: February 20-March 20 Your hopes, wishes and dreams may need grounding to be practical. Be careful too of setting intangible goals within groups and organisations and encourage other members to contribute


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s ry e t a D e Dia Th What´sr oanrea? r o ou F in y

Every Tuesday Country Farmers Market between 10am and 1.30pm. Los Jardines del Trapiche Call: Anita 627 877 164 Every Tuesday Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel, Quiz 8.30pm. 682 502 870 Every Thursday Evening Bar Viva, C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar. Bingo Quiz night with a difference. Quiz mixed with Bingo!! from 8.30pm with cash prizes. Now hosted by yours truely, Tony of The Sentinella. Come on down for a great evenings entertainment. Call 952544362 Every Friday Chiringuito Antonio Market, 10am 1.30pm Puente don Manuel. Nerja History Group meets the first Friday of each month at the Cultural Centre, Calle Granada, Nerja at 11.30. For more information, contact Jill Christian-Smith on: 952 538 526 664 760 405 Oct 12

Vinuela Ecological Farmers Market Opp. the Pharmacy. 1st & 3rd Sat each month. 10.30-14.30. Fresh Handmade organic produce. Fruit & Veg, Cakes, Chutney & Jams, Sweets, Tarts, Bread, Pasta & Fresh Sauces, Mustards, Olive Pate, Natural Soap, Fertilizer, etc POCAPECUNIA, the Charity shop in aid of the Love A Child Foundation, has reformed the shop and is twice as big now. We are still always in need of clothes, household items, paperbacks, CD's and DVD's. Opening hours: Mon-Sat from 10am to 1.30pm. Calle Bella Vista 6 in Nerja (between the Parador and Hotel Villa Flamenca). Every Wednesday learn to draw and paint. Art classes at La Vaqueria, Benamargosa. 11am-1pm, 10E includes refreshments and home made cake! See advert on this page. Every Thursday Arts & Crafts classes at La vaqueria, Benamargosa. 11am1pm. Lively informal group covering a huge range of arts & crafts. 10€ refreshments & home made cake included. See advert on this page. Every first Sat of the month La Vaqueria has a mosaics day for all levels. 3pm - 7pm costs 20€ with materials & meal incl. Call: 952 517 273. We are closed for January. Happy New Year! CardioDance: Learn to Salsa, Cha Cha, Swing, Hustle. Dance Classes: Also includes Rumba, Sal Cha & Choreographed Routines Keep Fit Classes with or without weights.Your Heart, Your Life, Your Choice. Almeria to Estepona. Hugh Grant 606086300 Market alternate Saturdays Algarrobo Costa, Opp Lidl (1st & 3rd Saturday each month). January's meeting of the Holistic Therapists support group is on the 22nd and will be held in the El Pantano restaurant. We have a change of speaker as Marcus couldn't make it. However Birgit is giving the talk instead. Please come along to listen as it should be a very interesting talk. Presentation of Doterras finest therapeutic essential oils with Birgit Danneberg, from the Holistic Centre Molino-Malaga near Periana, coach, personal retreats. We will learn about the oils and there: -healing power - 100 % natural and quick help when for eg: a flu or a cold is going to show up, help with any digestion problems or skin problems or any breathing discomfort -cooking power – many of these pure essential oils we can use internally and they can add a delicious taste to our food, we will learn how to use them and exchange recipes. -emotional power – these oils work on all levels and can be used perfectly as a therapeutic supplement: -matory remedy and will balance our nervous system (parasympathetic/sympathetic).

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Dates For The Diary

tional & Farmers Market, Directions: Ctra. A-356, Km30, 10am - 3pm. Call 650 380 954.

RBL - Nerja We have regular lunches on the 1st Friday of each month at “La Pena Parda “restaurant in La Herradura and at Al Andalus hotel in Maro on the 3rd Thursday of each month. Non members are most welcome and should contact Marilyn on 952526423 ( or Dave on 654085811 ( to book, also anyone interested in joining the Legion. Benajarafe International Social Club meet every Monday at 2.30pm at the Esperanza Cafe/Restaurant which is on the coast road at Km 261 in Benajarafe. We are a registered charity raising funds for H4H and another charity of the member's choice. For further details contact Heather on 634979565. Exhibition of Paintographs by Mitch France at Bar Cerezo in Canillas de Albaida, open everyday except Monday. Subject matter: Flamenco dancers and musicians, local character and scenes. Home Gallery also available to view by appointment: Call Mitch on 616 891 473, or email RBL - Benajarafe Branch Meet every Friday from 12.30-2.30pm, at the coastal, Puerto Niza restaurant, we enjoy bingo, quizzes, more entertainment & monthly outings, a superb lunch inc. drinks, & we welcome all new and existing RBL members. Tel: 603 879 308 Phoenix Club meet every Tuesday in the Restaurant above Supersol (nr the Police Stattion) Torre del Mar from 12.00 midday to 1.30pm.For info call Gail 951067723, email Scottish Country Dance Classes Every Tuesday n evening from 7.15pm - 9pm at El Trapiche Restaurant, for all levels, with or without partners. For further information please contact George Bain on 619 069 966 Shortmat Bowls in Nerja have relocated to the lower salon of Villa Flamenca Hotel, C/Andalucia, Nerja. Contact Marian on 952 523 754 or Malcolm on 952 520 579. Every Wednesday Camping La Vinuela, Interna-

Do you miss cricket? Cricket players wanted. Every Saturday and Sunday Cricket matches at Cartama in Malaga, All abilities welcome, aged 15-75 transport is available from Almunecar / Nerja areas. Tel: Ian on 648 950 007. The "El Valle Asociacion" Based around the Lake Vinuela & surrounding areas. Meets on the first Mon of the month at 7.30pm at the Camping Bar on the side of Lake Vinuela (A356). Or at Billy´s bar near the market at Venta Baja from 11am to 12.30 every Friday The club organises events, trips and social functions. Sunday 19th January Restaurante Sabina in Almuñecar today serve a special Sunday lunch menu of Lamb shoulder with boiled potatoes and red cabbage, with a mixed salad starter including a glass of wine or beer and a coffee for the great price of just 13€. Reservations are advised to avoid disppointment. See advert on page 38 Local artist Margaret Riordan has two Art Exhibitions currently running until April 2014 at Bar Choto Playa on the N340 at Penoncillo beach, Torrox Costa, (Not Tues). (Next to Ruta 34 motorcycles shop) andd in Restaurante Sevillano – El Rincón, Calle Gloria, Nerja. She is a self-taught artist (retired secretary) Born in Bristol, England, and has been painting and drawing all her life. She has entered many competitions with success at local and national level and over 300 of her works have been sold throughout the UK, Europe and North America.

helping animals in your area C.a.S. NEED MOrE hELPErS!! If you can help us please contact Wendy: 952 037 095 or Vera: 952 529 670 We would love to talk to you


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? n O s ’ t Wh a

Sponsored by:

RIGHTS ARKW The British Store & More OPEN ALL “OURS” Puente don Manuel Call: 952 519 780

Royal British Legion Torre del Mar For information on events tel. 663 658 354 We meet every Wed at La Vega Rest Torre Del Mar next to Mercadona Email: / Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Torre del Mar. Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Torre del Mar. Avda. Moscatel 1”I”,(Jardines Viña Malága/Antigua Casa de la Viña), Torre del Mar, 29740. Opening hours Mon-Fri 10am - 1pm and 3pm - 6pm. Tel. 952 543 334 E-mail: Web: Daily Events in the centre: Mon-Thur Spanish courses. Mon – Computer Tuition & Wi-Fi Connection available, please bring your own computer. Prayer Grou. Half Orange (Widows/Widowers/Singles) Group. German Coffee. Tuesday –“Espan-Glish”. Wed – Computer Tuition & Wi-Fi Connection available, please bring your own computer. Art Group. Thur – Bible Study. “EspanGlish”. Fri – Spanish Conversation. Wi-Fi Connection available, please bring your own computer. Coffee Morning Refreshments with a Boutique, Bric-a-brac, preserves books and cards for sale. Library and Tourist Reference Library. 11.00am – 13.00pm. Mobility Equipment Available: Wheelchairs, crutches, walkers and other mobility aid available on loan.January events and Excursions Wed 1st – Centre closed, Thurs 2nd & Fri 3rd – Centre Open morning only 10am-1pm. Mon 6th – Centre closed. But ‘New Year buffet party’. Please come and join friends and have fun, you will be greeted with a glass of mulled wine, followed by a buffet of home -cooked meats, variety of salads, pickles, home-made desserts, plus mince pies. There will be a bar serving wine, beer, soft drinks and coffee at special prices. A grand raffle, all to the entertainment of Mr. Gram Russell singing ballads and blues. Time 16.00h.Ticket 10€.Tue 7th – Normal opening hours start at the Centre. 10am-1pm & 3pm-6pm. Wed 8th Art group re-starts3pm - 5pm. Mon 13th – All daily progreammes re-start in the Centre. Mon 13th – Danish church talk at the Centre. Time 17.30h. Thur 16th Coach trip to Gib. Departure times Algarrobo 6.45am, Caleta 6.50am and Torre Del Mar Bus Station 7.00am. Sat 18th – 25th – A week of prayer for christian community. Please coma and join us, this is an opportunity to make visible the friendship and unity amongst the Christian Churches established in the

Costa del Sol. Each day there will be services at different churches, for full programme information in the newspapers and on our web Mon 27th – Coach excursion to Alpujarras. Please come and join us on a visit to the national park situated between the Sierra Nevada and the Mediterranean Coast. There will be a stop for coffee at village of Velez de Benaudalla and visit “El Mirador”, continue through the villages of Capileira and Portugos to finish in the village of Trevelez, amongst the snow capped mountains. The town is known as the highest town in Sierra Nevada and is noted for its “Secaderos de jamon” Ham Dryer, where you will be taken on a tour of the factory, taste the “Secadero” hams and local wine. Lunch will be taken at the restaurant “Asador mesón de la Alpujarra”. After lunch return via the village of Pampaneira for a coffee stop and continue via the village of Órgiva and the town of Almuñecar. Approx. Arrival time back home19:00h. The price includes transport, visit, and lunch where there is a choice of 2 menus when booking and insurance. Departure Times: Torre Coach Station 7.30am, Caleta 7.40am, and Algarrobo (Lidle) 7.45 am. Wed, Thur and Fri 29th, 30th and 31st. A course in Ecumenism. This will take place in Coin at the San Juan Parish Church, at 18.00pm each evening. The first two evenings of Wednesday 29th and Thursday 30th will be talks only in Spanish, but on Friday 31st there will be a by lingual Taize Prayer. Please come and light a candle with the name of the departed, which will be placed near the cross as a symbol of their memory and as a thanksgiving for their lives amongst us. For further information and bookings please contact the Centres, Torre del Mar Tel.952 543 334 E-mail: GOLF Would you like a game of friendly but competitive golf every Sunday morning? TOGS (possibly the friendliest Society on the Costa) play every Sunday morning at Baviera and welcome new members, whether residents, frequent visitors or holiday makers. Our Society is made up of both male and female, various nationalities, and mixed abilities. For more information email our Captain George Clay at or call 625936814 The Trapiche Social Club meets every Wednesday at 12 noon until 2pm at the Trapiche Restaurant, just off the A356 Velez-Malaga to La Vinuela. The Restaurant/Bar has ample parking and is an ideal place to meet friends. Our weekly Wednesday meetings are an ideal place to meet and make new friends. The first Wednesday in the month is our regular lunch meeting when you can enjoy a 3 course lunch with wine, casera and water for just €8.50.

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What’s O n? Lake Vinuela Social Club We meet on the 1st Thursday of the month from 12.30pm until (approx) 2.30pm followed by lunch at Bar Atila, Puente Don Manuel to enjoy social activities and meet like minded friends. We regularly have a quiz, open the box, bingo and a guest speaker. Our aim is to enjoy ourselves and raise money for local and international charities. For further details please contact 676 772 693 or email Come and Learn to Dance Ballroom & Latin American Dancing (11 different dances). *New beginners class 8.30-10.30pm (class and practise)*. Improvers, Intermediate classes and private lessons from 7pm or, just come and dance on a large floor 9.0010.30pm. Qualified, v.experienced, patient teachers. Have fun learning or improving! Bar & friendly people. Partner not necessary. Cafeteria Avenida (near Police Station & petrol station) For more info call Eric and Jennifer 95 252 3599 (The Nerja Dance Club) SEEKING CHARITIES - People helping People Do you know of any SPANISH Charities (O.N.G) who help people and are seeking funding? The American International Club is currently seeking Spanish Organisations who are seeking assistance. The organisation will be presenting a donation at the Dia de Residente event this April in Nerja. If you are aware of an organisation that assists Spanish people, please send an email with contact information to The American International Club is a social club open to all nationalities which spans the area from Almunecar to Torrox and beyond. Activities include tapas runs, monthly excursions, petanque, coffee mornings, dinners and walks. The Club raises funds for Spanish charities and each year makes a significant donation to a local organisation as a way of saying "thank you" to our host nation. Our motto is "If it isn't fun, we don't do it". To join in the fun email: RBL - Los Romanes Branch We now meet on a Monday from 12-2.00pm in the Garden Restaurant, La Vinuela. We are a small branch with a big heart and welcome all. You do not have to be an ex member of the armed forces to either join or visit. Our aim is to have fun whilst making money for the RBL poppy appeal. Information can be obtained from our website or Margaret Branch Sec. 951066079 Do you live in Axarquia? Do you like to sing but find yourself singing alone at home or in the car? Would you like to sing with new friends? Why not join us?

Bel Canto is a multi-national group from across the region who likes to get together once a week to sing in a variety of musical styles. We meet in Velez Malaga. We have a professional musician to direct us and to help us improve our singing. From time to time, we give public performances, but above all we take pleasure in singing together. All nationalities are welcomed. If you would like to know more all you have to do is give Louise a call on 952 534 173. If you leave a message with your number I will call you back. (For Spanish call Mariángeles on 952 510 173) Don’t miss this opportunity to make new friends! Vinuela Market - New International & Country Market, every Wednesday 10am. - 3 pm. Great location at Camping Vinuela. Bar Camping next door offering Menu del Dia 7€! - Enjoy the experience of being in the heart of Axarquia and watch the market grow! For more info email: or telephone 650 380 954. Volunteers needed. The Costa Animal Society needs your help, particularly with their efforts at the Sunday car boot markets in Nerja and Almuñecar. If you have some time, and especially if you own a 4x4 or other large vehicle, your assistance in transporting and selling goods on a Sunday morning would be much appreciated as both these markets help raise much needed funds to care for rescued animals. If you can assist CAS in any way - fund raising, airport runs or fostering - please call Wendy at 660 271 984 or Vera at 680 315 880. Vinuela Alcaucin Self-Help Support Group Are you caring for a loved one or family member in Spain who is either disabled or suffering from Dementia and finding it difficult to obtain assistance? Do you want to know how to obtain a personal alarm, a disability card, or even financial assistance? Then, why not join us for an informal coffee morning the first Monday of each month at 11.30am at Hotel La Vinuela, where we can share our views and experiences on trying to give our loved ones a better quality of life. Our aim is to help ourselves and each other. Ask at Reception for Stella, Mary or Ann. Coral CoraXalia 2013-2014 season. We are beginning our next musical season and we are inviting new male and female singers to become members. Good atmosphere, all nationalities, good repertoire, performances, social, events, possible touring, etc. Rehearsals on Thursdays 5.30-8pm in Venta Baja (Church). (Turn right at Arkwrights crossroads and follow road for 2km approx. Plenty of on-street parking) Come and join us! For more information call: 669 682 139 (English) or 689 111 352 (Español).


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n o i t a m r Info ...In our own random order! Bus Times Call: 952 540 936 Nerja-Malaga 06:30, 07:30, 08:30 08:55, 10:10, 11:10, 12:25, 13:40, 14:55, 15:55, 17:10, 18:40, 19:40, 20:25 Malaga-Nerja 07:00, 08:15, 09:15, 10:30, 11:45, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:15; 17:30; 18:45, 20:15, 20:45, 21:30 Expect to pay approx 2.90€ one way and 5.15€ round trip Nerja-Nerja Caves 08:10, 08:25, 09:40, 10:40, 11:50; 11:55, 12:35, 13:10, 13:35, 14:25, 15:25; 16:40; 18:10, 18:55, 19:30, 20:10 Nerja Caves-Nerja 08:45, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, 12:15, 12:50, 13:30, 14:45. 15:45, 17:00 17:45; 18:30; 19:30; 20:15 Expect to pay approx 0.80€ one way Nerja-Torre see Nerja-Malaga times Torre-Nerja 07:45, 09:00, 09:15, 10:00, 11:00, 11:15; 11:45, 12:30, 13:15, 14:45, 16:00, 17:30, 18:15, 19:30, 21:00, 22:00. Church services in English Services at inglesia de San Miquel (St, Michael's Church) every Sunday at 12 noon (except during May) and at Capilla de Nuestra Señora del Carmen (Fisherman's Chapel, Chinasol). There is a short service of Holy Communion Wednesday's at 9.30am in the Church Shop, Calle Malaga, Nerja. Details of how to find the churches are also available in the Church Shop. Priest in Charge: Father Geoff Johnston Tel: Church House 952 521 339 Church Shop 952 522 460. Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Tel: 952 219 396 Malaga - St. George´s Church in the Engish Cemetery. 11.00am Sundays Tel: 952 219 396 velez-Malaga - Capilla De San Jose, Calle Linares 7, Velez-Malaga. Sundays 10.30. Website Tel 952 407 050 anglican communion. Torre del Mar - St Barnabas Church (IERE) Spanish episcopal services in English at 11am, Morning Prayer 1st and 3rd Sundays. Holy Communion 2nd and 4th Sundays. Tel. 952

Local Police : 091 guardia : 062 Fire : 080 030 461 (Priest). Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Avda Moscatel 1 "I", (Gardens of Viña Malaga/ Antigua Casa Del Viña). roman Catholic - Torre del Mar - Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Saturdays 5pm, (Winter), and 18.00pm. Sunday anglican Church of St. Barnabas (IERE) 11am. Morning prayer 1st & 3rd Sundays, Holy Communion 2nd & 4th Sundays. Evangelical - Torre del Mar Evangelical (Presbyterian Church) meets every Sunday for Worship in English at 11.30am in the Picasso Room, Hotel Torremar, (off Paseo Larios) C/ Saladero Viejo 15 Torre del Mar. All welcome. Minister J. Hartsmith Foy. Tel: 952 532 825 or: Torrox Community Church meets at 11.15am on Thursdays for coffee and discussions on current topics. This is an informal church meeting for everyone to join in. At El Ancla, Peñoncillo Beach, a warm welcome awaits you. More info: Minister Rev. J. Hartsmith Foy. Tel.952 532 825 email Puente don Manuel - Fellowship of the King, Sunday Worship - 11am. Wednesday Fellowship 3-5pm. Midweek activities - Pilates - Tues midday-1pm, Bridge club tues 2.15-6pm, Charity shop/books open Wed, Fri & Sat 101.30pm. Bible Study Thursday 5-7pm. We meet at Fellowship of the King premises situated underneath Maroma Inmobiliaria, El Cruce de Puente don Manuel. Phone 952 115 220 or 952 518 185 Torre del Mar Evangelical Church (Part of the Spanish Evangelical Church in partnership with Presbyterian Church Ireland) Sunday service in English 11.30am. Picasso Room Hotel Torremar off Paseo Larios Torre del Mar Minister Rev. J. Hartsmith Foy Tel 952 532 825 Bank hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am. Taxis Torre: 952 540 016, Nerja: 952 520 537 velez Malaga: 952 540 016, Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

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ambulance : 061 water : 952 540 662 Electricity : 952 540 662 Tourist information Nerja: 952 521 531 Torre del Mar: 952 541 104


Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004

weekly Market days Mondays: Torrox Costa Tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche on the road to Benamagosa. wednesdays; Rincon de la Victoria, Algarrobo Costa & Camping Vinuela Ctr.A356 KM30. Thursdays: Velez Malaga & Torre del Mar & Frigilana Fridays: Puente don Manuel & Cala de Moral Saturdays: Caleta de Velez , Competa & Benajarafe, Algarrobo Costa, Opp Lidl (1st & 3rd Saturday each month) Sundays: Malaga Consulates Uk Opposite the main bus station Edif, Eurocom Bloque Sur C/Mauricio Moro 2-2º- Malaga 902 109 256 or 913 342 194 ireland Avda, de los Boliches, Nº15 Fuengirola 952 475 108 Netherlands/Dutch Avda, Palma de Mallorca, 57 Edif. Castillo San Louis, bajo 29620 Torremolinos 952 380 888 germany C/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga 952 363 591 Sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197 Telefonica



airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 granada 952 048 804 airlines Shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the weekly markets are only open mornings. water Supplies velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013 railway Stations Malaga: 952 360 202 granada: 958 271 272 Town halls Torre and velez: 952 500 100 Torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000 hospitals Nerja ambulatorio: 952 523 131 velez Malaga: 951 067 000 iTv Call: 902 575 757 or 952 551 084 - Open Mon - Fri 08.00am 18.45pm, Sat: 08:00am - 12.45pm


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) : a h a h s e k o J A woman was being shown around the hospital. During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously. "Oh my GOD!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful! ...... Why is he doing that?" The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture." "Oh well... in that case, I guess it's okay" said the woman.. As they passed by the very next room, they saw a male patient lying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him. Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD! Now tell me how that can be justified?" The doctor spoke very calmly, "Same illness, but he's with BUPA." ------------------------------------------------------------Experts tell us that the best way to make a perfect cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So, every morning I shout, 'Two sugars, fat arse!' ------------------------------------------------------------A Mafia Boss finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His book keeper is deaf. (That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing and would therefore never have to testify in court). When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about the missing $10million, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is." The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?" Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!" The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him where the money is." Guido trembles and signs back, "OK, OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house." The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger." ---------------------------------------------------------------A pharmacist walked into his shop to find a man leaning against the wall. "What's wrong with him?", he asked his assistant. "He came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any, so I gave him an entire box of laxatives." "You idiot" said the chemist, "You can't treat a cough with laxatives." "Of course you can" the assistant replied, "Look at him.........he daren't cough now!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke this morning with a huge correction. ---------------------------------------------------------------My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Swan Vestas. His little face lit up when he tried to walk.. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage. ---------------------------------------------------------------Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen, 'what you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?' I said, 'Thank you, I'll have chicken please' She replied, 'You're having soup, I was talking to the cat!' ---------------------------------------------------------------Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting your tee ready!

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Jokes h a h a :) A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint (as they do!) when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?' The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.' So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river. The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?' The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said, 'Hey Koala!' So the koala looked down at him and said 'F*** me...How much water did you drink?’ --------------------------------------------------------------“Doctor, do you think I will live for another 40 years?” the man asked. “Do you smoke or drink?” asked the doctor. “No” “Do you go to bars or discos and party with friends?” “No” “Do you go to Thailand or The Phillipines to have sex?” “No!” “Do you go to Strip joints?” “NO!!” “Do you go to see hookers?” “NOOOOO!!” “So why do you want to live another 40 years and waste everybody’s time? Now F*** off!!!”

Quickies What is a Yankee?

The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag. Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. . What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 20 kgs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.

Saint Stevie The Scouse Section Ferrari's Formula 1 team manager decided to employ some Liverpudlian teenagers as their pit crew. This was because of their renowned skill at removing car wheels quickly. At the first practice session, not only did they change all 4 wheels in 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged & sold the car to the McLaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed & some pictures of Lewis Hamilton's bird getting her kit off!! --------------------------------------------------------------Ah, Liverpool. The only city in the world where JD Sports has an evening-wear department. --------------------------------------------------------------A report out today says 60% of girls under 16 in Liverpool are Binge drinking on a regular basis. I am shocked, who the f*** is looking after their kids?


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s e g a P Puzzle Get Quizical

1. Who wrote The Hunchback of Notre Dame? 2. What anniversary is a Coral Wedding? 3. In golf, at what age can a player join the Seniors' Tour? 4. On which island is Peel Castle? 5. Which American state produces the most oil? 6. Which Snooker player was nicknamed the Romford Robot? 7. Which British car was the first to sell over a million models? 8. What imperial unit of distance is equal to 4.8 kilometers? 9. What World War II operation was code named Dynamo? 10. What is the well-known Malay word for "person of the forest"? 11. What is the largest living fish species?

Hey Diddle Riddle

1. On my own I'm 24th, Two of us and I'm 20, Three of us and I'm 18. What am I? 2. The following sentence is false. The preceding sentence is true. Are these sentences true or false? 3. You are in a room where there are no metal objects except for two iron rods. Only one of them is a magnet. How can you identify this magnet? 4. A blue house is made of blue bricks. A yellow house is made of yellow bricks. A red house is made of red bricks. An orange house is made of orange bricks. What would a green house be made of? 5. Farmer Brown came to town with some watermelons. He sold half of them plus half a melon, and found that he had one whole melon left. How many melons did he take to town? 6. Coming home from work, Simon had just put his key in the lock of his door when he heard his wife Betty scream, "Bill, don’t kill me!" He dashes in to find Betty dead with a knife buried in her chest. Standing around the body are a postman, a doctor, and a lawyer. The husband immediately knows the postman killed his wife. How?

12. Who rode an eight-legged horse named Sleipnir Answers on page 107

Sudokus Easy


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Puzzle P ages

Crossword across 1 get to the point (3,2,3,5) 8 agitate (4) 9 Lacking teeth (8) 10 Lottery (10) 12 Established beyond doubt (6) 14 Blunt instrument (6) 15 Salvation, deliverance (10) 19 assign (8) 20 Similar (4) 21 in secret (5-3-5)

Down 2 Improper (8) 3 Brusque, concise (5) 4 Betrayal (7) 5 Rectal medicine (5) 6 Tearaway (7) 7 Badger’s home (4) 11 Monument (8) 13 Prolix (7) 14 M.C. (7) 16 Rough version (5) 17 Headdress (5) 18 Stratagem (4)


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r e d a r The T E

oto. t inc. ph r e v d a boxed 8 nth. 15€ for 7th of the mocall: 664 210 46 r o s d r 1 o r e w o th 8 th before e mon um of 2 maxim nt to be made efore 17th of th a r fo 3€ Payme b n s@these mail sale

Properties For Sale/Rent/Wanted SUCCESSFUL ChiP ShOP FOr SaLE. Puente don Manuel. Please call for more information 693 01 41 89 FLaT, 90M2, in Vélez-Málaga, new, 5 mins to schools, health centre, supermarket, bus station, highway and 5 km to the sea. 3 bedrooms, a prime quality furnished kitchen, 22m2 terrace, lift and garage. JUST REDUCED €159.000, NOW 145,000€ tlf: 606 764 539. Ready to move in. BraND NEw LargE 4 BEDrOOM, TOwNhOUSE 3 bathroom, with garden and garage for sale or rent in Riogordo. €195,000 to buy €550 PCM to rent. More details and photos Tel: 676 851 135 email


(Between Velez Malaga & Lake Vinuela) 3 double bed, 1 large bath, large kitchen and living room with chimney. 100m2 living. 8x4 pool, 800m2 flat plot with fruit trees & fully enclosed grounds, superb condition, fully furnished, great views, central heating, lots of parking. A lovely country house in the beautiful, peaceful, unspoilt countryside and only 15 mins drive to beach

550€ per month

For more info call Maddie: 686 722 349 sales inland ref.5009 Youtube ref: 9006

ST LUCia, ThE MarQUiS ESTaTE, 1-bed luxury apartment for sale, 187,000GBP (currently worth 225,000GBP), development due for completion end 2014, SIPPS secured investment. Call: 610 976 284 for more details. rESTaUraNT avaiLaBLE FOr rENT in Torre del Mar. Large terrace. Call: 631 342 193 aParTMENT FOr SaLE EL MOrChE, 1 bed, 1 bath apartment situated just 2 mins away from the beautiful sandy beach of El Morche. With separate kitchen, balcony, marble floors, communal swimming pool and it comes furnished. Ideal starter home or holiday home. NOW 80,000€ Call: 610 976 284 FOr SaLE Semi Detached house 802m2 in small hamlet of Venta Alta. Living room with fireplace, fitted kitchen with appliances, bathroom, 3 double beds, 30m2 terrace, garden with fruit trees in plot of 250m2. Needs some tlc. 80,000€ Call: Rita 634 409 647 FOr rENT: 2 BED MOBiLE hOME, situated in quiet rural location near Los Romanes. Private garden area. All normal amenities inc. washing machine & large fridge/freezer. €230 pm inc. water & electric. Tel: 660 123 349 2/3 BEDrOOM hOUSE TO LET in Benamargosa. Available for long or short term lets from 280€ pcm. Also holiday lets from 200€ per week. 2 mins to supermarket, bars and swimming pool. Call: 636 117

Employment wOrk iN gENEraL rEQUirED. Transporting small and large loads, Removals, Fitting kitchens from IKEA, Cleaning and maintenance of pools and gardens, General cleaning and maintenance (garages, storerooms attics, warehouses), Cleaning cars, 10€/h Hotels and restaurants, Material and transport included, Cleaning of apartments, flats, houses etc.. 7€/h. (material and transport included), Limpieza Sindrome Diogenes 15€/h. (material and transport included). Collection of rubbish. Enquiries and estimates without obligation. We speak English, Spanish and German. Call: David 656 775 928 or Javier 619 932 032

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3€ for a maximu m Paymen of 28 words o Email: s t to r1 ales@th esentine be made befo 5€ for enquire re a before 1 the 17th of th bout boxed ad e 5th of th verts e month month. or call: 6 64 210 4 68

Properti es


Items for Sale

TaiL TOrrOX would welcome any donations of clothing, bric-a-rac, furniture for their shops in Avenida El Faro and the shop opposite Mercadona Torrox Costa. Please contact linda 622 652 017.

LOgS FOr SaLE 5€ a whEELBarrOw LOaD self service. Palm Trees For Sale, all sizes from 3€. Finca dos Mundos KM7, old road Trapiche/Vinuela. Dig up your own Palm Tree. Tel: 952 03 06 79

i wiLL COLLECT FrEE of charge all your used clothing, bric-a-brac, pots and pans, books, toys, CD´s garden pots, tools, pieces of furniture or anything else you are throwing out whilst you are cleaning. Call me on Tel:- 658 72 92 74 Jacqui TiME TO SParE? Join our Fundraising Team & help us make dogs happy and contented. At Apariv we are always striving to do more for the abandoned dogs in our area. BUT this obviously costs money. If you have a few hours to spare and have ideas on how we can raise money or enjoy helping organise events, we would love to hear from you. Call 670807997 email:


The Trolley Dash at Arkwrights The British Store and More has been completed. Jan Smith pulled ticket number 673 on a yellow ticket, serial number 891627. To Jan's surprise it was her sister Kaye Carlill. Kaye didn't so much dash but was happy with her trolley of 161.20€. Kaye said that she was more pleased, as she picked things that they use, rather grab things she would not need, what a wonderful lady. We are extremely happy that it was won by one of our regular customers. Merry Christmas to everyone. We shall probably do have the same again next to year. If you something sell email

us by the 17th of the month Lineage ads 3 euros Photo boxes 15 euro Call: 664 210 468

FLOOr TiLES - approx 10sq meters 33cm honey coloured. New, still boxed. Over ordered - cost 130€ will accept 60€. Buyer collects (Nerja area). Call 95 252 2347 or mobile 653 562 333. OLivE TrEES FOr SaLE Various sizes from 4€, 3 years old, height 1.5/1.6 metres. Already have olives on them. This variety is very resistent to frost and drougts. Call: 650 943 713 STraChENOvEr gaS FirED wall mounted radiator. High output and no smell or condensation as room sealed, keep warm this winter. 60€ 634 415 531 whEELChair FOr SaLE, nearly new, new crutches, complete or will sell separately. 160€ o.n.o Call: 952 033 155 SiNgLE ENgLiSh PiNE BED and Mattress for sale. Size approx 36in wide by 76in long. Also pine bed that fits under above no mattress with this. 40€ for three items. Mattress is from IKEA sultan range. Phone Andy on 952 556 709 whiTE arCON 3271 ChEST DEEP FrEEZEr 2cu/mtrs. 6 yrs old - in very good condition. Price 95€ Buyer collects. Central Torre del Mar Tel: 951 240 864 MaDE UP LOgS FOr wOOD BUrNEr STOvES Or OPEN FirES Slow burning logs made from Chopped Wood Pallets. Two sizes. 1...approx. 45/50cm length, 15cm deep and 10cm wide. 50 cents each. 100 logs Delivered 45 Euros. 2...approx. 30/35cm length, 15cm deep and 10cm wide. 40 cents each, 100 logs delivered 35 Euros. Delivery area Nerja and Torrox. (Subject to availability) Email: or Call James: 633 384 654 or 0044 7834 342107

Make your new year’s resolution - See page 22


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r e d a r The T

photo. ert inc. v d a d e r box nth. 68 r 15€ fo17th of the mocall: 664 210 4 o s d r o of 28 w onth or fore the aximum be made be re 17th of the m m a r 3€ fo Payment to befo nell thesenti @ s le sa Email

Property For Sale

ApArtment For SAle el morChe

This one bed, one bath apartment is situated just two minutes away from the beautiful sandy beach of El Morche. It has a separate kitchen, balcony, marble floors, communal swimming pool and it comes fully furnished. It's an ideal starter home or holiday home.

JUST rEDUCED TO: €80,000

For more info or to arrange a viewing call 610 976 284 or email

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s n e T p To 8 7 6 5 4 9 10,



, 1, 3,2 , , , ,

The Top Ten Most Highly Populated Cities in 1900... 1. London, UK 6,581,000

10. St Petersburg, Russia - 1,265,000 The Top Ten Most Highly Populated Cities in 2013... 1. Tokyo, Japan 37,126,000 2. Jakarta, Indonesia 26,063,000 3. Seoul, South Korea 22,547,000

2. New York, USA 3,437,000

4. Delhi, India 22,242,000

3. Paris, France 2,714,000

5. Shanghai, China 20,860,000

4. Berlin, Germany 1,889,000 5. Chicago, USA 1,699,000 6. Vienna, Austria 1,675,000 7. Wuhan, China 1,500,000 8. Tokyo, Japan 1,440,000 9. Philadelphia, USA 1,294,000


6. Manila, Philippines 20,767,000 7. Karachi, Pakistan 20,711,000 8. New York, USA 20,464,000 9. Sao Paulo, Brazil 20,186,000 10. Mexico City, Mexico 19,463,000

get Quizical answers 1. Victor Hugo, 2. 35th, 3. 50, 4. Isle of Man, 5. Alaska, 6. Steve Davis, 7. Morris Minor, 8. League, 9. Evacuation of Dunkirk, 10. Orangutan, 11. Whale shark, 12. Odin riddle Diddle answers 1. The letter X. It is the 24th letter of the alphabet, two Xs in Roman numerals equals twenty and triple x represents adult content, and adulthood is eighteen by law in most countries. 2. Neither, it's a paradox. If the first is true, then the second must be false, which makes the first false; it doesn't work. 3. You can hang the iron rods on a string and watch which one turns to the north (or hang just one rod).4. Glass, 5. Three, 6. The postman is a man. The doctor and lawyer are women. Find The Cat answer December

Last Month’s Crossword answers

The Sentinella Paginas “The best A-Z Directory in the Axarquia” Alcaucin, Algarrobo Costa, Algarrobo Pueblo, Almayate, Archez, Arenas, Benajarafe, Benamargosa, Burriana, Caleta, Canillas de Aceituno, Canillas de Albaida, Colmenar, Cómpeta, Comares, El Morche, Frigiliana, Lagos, Maro, Mezquitilla, Nerja, Periana, Puente don Manuel, Riogordo, Salares, Sayalonga, Sedella, Torre del Mar, Torrox Costa, Torrox Pueblo, Trapiche, Triana, Vélez-Málaga, Venta Baja, Viñuela.

664 210 468 Welcome to The Sentinella Paginas - the most comprehensive business directory covering the entire Axarquia region. Opposite you will find the phone numbers, email addresses and websites of services ranging from plumbers to dentists to restaurants. In fact, whatever you’re looking for, you’ll find it in The Sentinella Paginas! The flags visible on each listing indicate which language(s) the business owners speak, the first being their preferred language. We distribute 7,000 copies of The Sentinella every month, this is the most magazines that any one magazine distributes each and every month and contact details are updated each month to ensure accuracy. Prices are 30€ - 3 months, 40€ - 6 months, 60€ 12 months. Book now for great cheap and effective advertising. Our next edition is January 2014 and the deadline for adding your business or service is December 17th. If you would like us to add a new category heading then we’ll be more than happy to assist. To place your advert: Email: or Call: 664 210 468 or 635 864 866

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


The Sen tinella Paginas

We can Call tod list your Busin ay on 66 es 4 210 4 s here from ju 68 or E st mail: sa 5 euros a mo les@the n sentinell th!!



wEscuela La Crujia rural B&B/guesthouse in a pretty converted schoolbuilding. 5 minutes from Velez-Malaga. Tel. 606 010 580. Email:

Licensed in Spain-experienced in Building, Refurbishing, Legalising & Consulting. Speaks fluent: English, Spanish, French & German. Andreas Boden +34 638 82 29 72 Email:

AIR CONDITIONING w For air Conditioning call Mark at Esola, 616 119 007, Torre del Mar w Professional and reliable servicing, repairs and installation of A/C at competitive rates by a qualified technician.Call Susie or Peter 655 211 192 or visit wChS Cooling and heating Solutions. All makes of air conditioning, serviced and installed. Also Solar Heating and swimming pool heat pumps. Call: 655 791 167 or Email: w Matthew Dean Mobile: 644 406 259 email: References or viewings of previously completed works available.

ALES/CRAFT BEER/HOME BREWING w La Domadora y El Le贸n, Craft Beer Store. Spanish & international craft beers. Naturally crafted artisan beers produced by small Spanish & International micro breweries. Take Away & Tasting Lounge, Home Delivery, Wholesale. Call: 952 534 137/610 778 358;,; Huertos, 60, Nerja

ALL ABOUT THE HOME w Franks Team, 669 009 821. Professional and efficient services. Electrician, wiring, certificates. Bulider, reforms, tiling, rendering. Painter, interior & exterior. Chimney wood, delivery included.

ARTIFICIAL GRASS waxarverde Maintenance free. Looks like real grass. Enviroment, child and pet friendly. Always green. Suitable for every surface. Call: 619 317 211 or visit our website:

BATHROOMS w Matthew Dean Mobile: 644 406 259 email: References or viewings of previously completed works available.

BOAT TRIPS wLuxury Yacht Charters Tel: 618 972 139 wCaleta Cruise Club Tel: 634 382 609

BEAUTY & BOUTIQUE wLouise Beauty & Boutique, The Alcaucin side of Lake Vinuela. Call: 951 167 181 or 680 855 030

BLINDS wSolar blinds, ideal for large glazed areas to keep the view but also giving privacy and stopping maximum amounts of heat/glare and fading of furnishings. Speak to Ian 644 54 61 76 958 49 65 71


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The Sentinella Paginas BOOKSHOPS wPasatiempo Calle Infantes 32, Torre del Mar, 952 543 703,

BRITISH SUPERMARKETS warkwrights English Shop. Turn right at Venta Baja Crossroads or call: 952 519 780 or 659 375 603

BUILDERS wall types of building work undertaken, 37 years experience, Let me quote you. Call: 952 110 788 or 650 895 461 wJohn housby, Building, Plastering, Tiling & Painting. For a quotation ring John: 699 261 414. Email: wLT Construction - is a building company based in the Velez Malaga area. We specialise in all aspects of design, building license application and construction, we have over 14 years of expertise in creating individual building solutions for our clients. Our local knowledge of the land and its soil types - and how best to deal with the challenges posed by them - means that we are the best-suited company to advise you on your building requirements. Call Lee Talbot on 659324586 wNick Turner refurbs All aspects of building work undertaken. Mobile: 679 113 600 Telephone: 952 553 124 Email: wBuilding and Decorating All types of building and decorating work including tiling, plumbing, electrics, painting and any welding jobs etc.. Call for a free quote: 606 656 008

CAR ACCESSORIES wwindow Tinting, A mobile service for your convenience, ITV legal & certified. Cut out annoying glare. Stop U/V. Protect Children & pets. Be Cool. Enjoy the sun don't suffer it! Call Ian 902 888 176/ 644 546 176

CARS WANTED wwanted all UK plated vehicles. Year 2000 onwards. cash paid. Call: 667 235 205

CAR AND VAN RENTAL wOne way car & van hire, UK, France and Spain. Call: 952 541 147

CARERS/AGENCIES wLady experienced in care of the elderly in their own homes. Written references available. Tel: Monica 648 049 486

wNerja Nurses, Professional Nurses, Reliable - Affordable - Local Quality Care. NHS Qualified & Trained - 25 years experience in ALL types of care. Tel: 628 793 413 or 952 030 713 Email:

CARPENTERS wandrew rodgers 20 years experience in kitchens, wardrobes, shelving, aluminium door & windows. Call the Window Doctor for any window problem. Roller shutter blinds, mosquito blinds, security locks, repairs and renewals reasonable rates, Tel: 660 597 894 email: w Matthew Dean Mobile: 644 406 259 email: References or viewings of previously completed works available.

CARPET & UPHOLSTERY CLEANING wroy’s Carpet & Upholstery Cleaning. Professional Machines, 18 years experience. All areas covered. Call Mark on 958 640 068 or 656 561 669

CHIROPODISTS wregisitered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. 25yrs experience NHS & private. Call: 636 866 715

CHIROPRACTIC CARE wPhilippe Druart D.C., grad. from AECC (GB) and USA, 30 years exp., opens a chiropractic clinic in Frigiliana, C/ Blas Infante, 2 bajo. Consultations: Monday from 16.30 to 20.30, Wednesday from 10.00 to 14.00, other days on appointment only. Tel. 951 708 672 & 678 691 387. Email:

CLINICS wanalysis Clinic, Haematology, Coagulation (Contro of Warfarin), Biochemistry, Inmunology, Hormone, Bacteriology, Parasitology, Special analysis. Home visits for blood tests. Antonio Armijo Navas, Specialist in Clinical Analysis. Urb. Costa del Oro, Local-4. Torrox Costa, Phone: 952 53 23 93

COMPUTERS All computer problems solved. Torrox/Nerja and surrounding areas. Free Advice. No Fix No Fee. Hardware, Software and Website solutions. PC service - only 50€. Call Rab on: 952 967 124 or 645 236 259 wComputer help.Troubleshooting & Repairs. New PCs supplied with Windows in English. WiFi installations. Reasonable rates. Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000. Patient & professional. Call David on 952 54 96 07 or 654 899 976.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


The Sentinella Paginas COOLING PRODUCTS

DRIVING SCHOOL Professional Quality Outdoor Misting Systems. Affordable & fits any areas. Discourages flying insects. DIY or pro install. Tel: 693 777 065

wvalerio Driving School, British Instructor. Legally Qualified in Spain. Theory to Practical. Call Shamím 695 07 14 49

DAMP CONTROL w“The Master Sealer” Damp Proofing & Plaster professionals, 20 years+ exp. 10 year guarantee on our damp proofing system. Fed up with flaking paint & plaster? Have it replaced & rectified once & for all at competitive prices. Call: 655 211 192

DECORATORS wPainter and Decorator, qualified tradesman, over 35yrs experience, all aspects of the trade covered, reasonable rates, references supplied. Call: 628 653 676

DENTISTRY wClinica Europa Centro internacional, Blq. 86, Torrox Costa. Call: 952 53 09 08 Email: British dentist, 24hrs response Call: 648 203 157 wian Pett Dental Care, 5 Star dental car you can trust. Now at Periana, Caleta & Canillas de Aceituno. Call Ian on 691700587 to consult about treatment, clinic location and arrange suitable appointments. Same personal service with gentle treatment a priority. wDentadanes s.c Dental Clinic Offering Danish, top quality dental care at Spanish prices. Est. since 1991. We speak English, Danish, German, Spanish and Italian. Tel: 952 529 666 Mon-Fri 10-5pm

DIGGER HIRE wFor hire Mini Digger, Bob Cat, JCB, cheap rates. Call: 644 391 799

DOG GROOMING wThe Dog Shop, Professional grooming salon. All dogs welcome, any size, any breed. Tel: 645 525 782, Centro Comercial, 10, Torrox Park.

ELECTRICIANS wElectro-Cute! English J.I.B. Electrician. For all your electrical needs and problems. Fault finding/Lighting and Power/Electric gates and Intercoms/Pool and water Pumps, Rewires/Upgrades. Over 40 years exp. Tel Stefan 610 048 919 wElectrician - All jobs from a socket to rewires, Fault Finding and Intercom Systems. Call Andrew 618 640 155 Email: wSparkinspain - Electrical installations and maintenance. Local from Nerja to Velez-Malaga and inland to Competa and Frigiliana. Call Colin 951 242 449 or Mob 666 707 297 Web:

EST AGENTS/PROPERTY RENTALS wSpanish Management Puente Don Manuel, Alcaucin (next to Morenos Bar) 666 135 516 or 650 702 258 Web: Email:

ESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATE wFleming Properties, Calle Las Melosas, Edf Nautico, Torre del Mar, 952 547 131 or 637 278 306, waxarquia Properties S.LCall; 626 038 851 or 952 436 Email: wBuy a home Spain/rent a home Spain, Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar. (Opposite the bus station) Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: Website:



wCudeca Second Hand Furniture Shop, 952 545 212 Calle Infantes 48, Torre del Mar (by Thursday market) Mon-Fri 10.00-13.30 and 17.30-19.30. Saturdays 10.00-13.30 only. If you wish to donate furniture please call Melanie on 638 108 564

wwayne’s Drains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out. Tel/Fax: 952 539 425. 24 Hour Service: 634 275 030 / 657 862 628 wat Your Service Plumbing, Electrical, Prop. Maintenance Torre del Mar/Puente don Manuel area. Ex. Corgi reg. with over 35 years experience. Tel: 951 066 064 / 692 330 420 Email:

wred Palm Beetles, Wasps, Ants, Woodlice, Mice, Rats and all pests. Processionary Moths. Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems. Tel: 634 431 099 wPool and garden maintenance. Good rates Call Keith 952 554 514 / 674 526 968



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The Sentinella Paginas GARDENING (cont) wMaintenance of gardens and Swimming Pools. English, German and Spanish speaking 26 year old. Call David: 656 775 928 wgardener with degree in gardening. Studied at the Laboral University in Malaga. Offers his services for; complete design, layouts, pruning and maintenance, including swimming pools and irrigation systems. Tel: Dany 647 009 101

GREETINGS CARDS wSpanglish Cards. Stocking our cards could not be simpler & does not cost you a cent. Display spinners supplied free. Market traders X stock available. New designs. Spanglish dual language cards stocked. Customise your cards with your own logo or photo. Email: Tel:617 979 640

HEALTH & BEAUTY wweight Control - Herbalife Independent Distributor, Bea Savory, 95 253 4795 (business opportunity also available): wweight watchers Meetings in English. Nerja and Vélez. Call Candace on 952 549 607 or 626 672 493 for further info. Email: ware you overweight, suffer weight-related health issues like diabetes? Do you lack energy? Right Food Choices Nutritional Coaching can help you. Learn to control your blood sugar & lose weight permanently in 1 easy coaching session. For a free 20 min consultation call Janet on 61 89 89 125, Skype janetvandam or wEsencia Natural cosmetics, incense, soaps, perfumes, makeup, face & body products and herbal tea. Avd Andalucia, 51, Caleta de Velez Call: 615 289 624 Email/Facebook

HEALTH SHOPS wrincón Natural Nerja: natural remedies, organic food, natural skincare products, spelt husk pillows, incense, feng shui crystals & tibetan bowls. Alternative therapies: personalised weight control coaching, massages, craneosacral therapy, metamorfic technic, beauty treatment AgeLoc. C/ Carretera 1, Nerja. Tel: 952 523 503

HEATING wredwell® – the leading brand in Infrared Heating Systems. White panels and designs like mirrors, pictures, glass etc. Low consumption, low running time due to partial storage material inside. Prevents damp. Contact/showroom: Avda. El Faro, Bl. 75, bajo 9, Torrox Costa, call 952 539 742,,

wChS Cooling and heating Solutions. Solar Heating and swimming pool heat pumps. Also air conditioning servicing and installations. Call: 655 791 167 or email: winfrasol infrared heating We are suppliers of infra-red heating systems for your home or Business, Stops mould. Reduces Condensation. Cheap to run. Contact us on 951258010 / 635445279. Try before you buy. Email:

HOLIDAY LETS wvillas to Let Privately owned luxury villas to let. 627820669 958364016

HORSE RIDING/TOURS whorse riding Finca Don Carmelo, Periana. Guided horseback rides into the sierras, through olive and orange groves and down to lake Viñuela. Well behaved horses, all levels. Call 652200702 wPony riding, for children. Main road Torrox-Competa between km13&14. The Pony Man Call:626 836 736

HOUSE CLEARANCES wCarousel Second hand Furniture, Vinuela Pueblo (Under Cajamar Bank), access via steps at side of bank, or slip road behind bank, 630 211 907 wCash paid. For House and Garage Clearance. Best prices. Get quote. All items considered. Contact Ernie or Martin 616 812 765 / 690 854 154

HYPNOTHERAPY & NLP wMarion Dias BSc (honours) Clinical Hypnosis and trainer NLP & Hypnosis. Help with Anxiety, Depression, Phobia, Stop smoking, self-confidence IBS, Public speaking as well as one day workshops for stop smoking, and self-healing, in NERJA. E-mail:

INSURANCE winsurance Essential Cover SL provide all types of insurance for your personal and business needs - Over 15 years’ experience in UK and Spain. Call Gaynor on 951 390 700 Email: or visit our website:

INTERNET SERVICES Fast and Reliable, no land line required, free installation in ALL areas, unlimited download, free telephone calls worldwide. Avenida La Pancha, Edificio San Andrés, local 1-3, Algarrobo Costa, 29750 Malaga, 951 239 888, email:, wriosat:SL, High speed internet and telephone services for home, business, offices, hotels, bars and restaurants etc. SDSL & ADSL packages available. Call: 951 239 310 / 626 679 018. Email: Web: http//

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


The Sentinella Paginas INTERNET SERVICES (cont) wTooway Fast internet for everyone. SuperFast 18 MB Satellite Internet available anywhere. Tel: 667 440 632 Fast Reliable 3G Internet for Home & Away. Spain's largest national networks. All you need is reasonable mobile phone signal. Contract or PayGo Tel: 693 777 065

INTERNET TELEVISION (IPTV) winternet Television Systems - watch your favourite TV shows using your broadband connection (min 2 m/b and unlimited).. Different packages to suit most needs and budgets... Email: Web: wiPTv television No frills just like the good old days but up to date TV service. Tel: 951 390 567

fun and cuddles. Also within 15km daily home visits for dogs, cats, horses. Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail: wSeacrest kennels and Cattery in Nerja. Doggy Day Care – Long Term Boarding: Contact us at 95 252 1426 More than 15 years experience in caring for your pets.

KITCHENS w Matthew Dean Mobile: 644 406 259 email: References or viewings of previously completed works available.

LAUNDERETTE Bubbles Laundertte, Calle Manuel Marin 1, Nerja. open 9am - 5pm Mon - Fri, 9am - 1pm Sat for all your laundry needs. Offering a free collection & delivery service for the nerja area. Call now on 665539256



winterpreter - English/Spanish - based in Vélez-Málaga. English nationality, but fluent Spanish and extensive experience. Inexpensive hourly rates. Confidentiality guaranteed. Call Toni to discuss your requirements. 952557733 / 606010580 wTranslator/interpreter service. For any situation where a Spanish speaker is required, eg: Town Hall, Hospital, NIE, Residencia, Social Security, ITV, reading and translating letters, written translations etc. Reasonable rates. Call Mariam on 633 637 774

wCarmen Silvia, Solicitors Abogados, Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (very near Nota-ria Office). Free initial consultation, 952 967 004 Email:

IRONWORK wwrought iron gates and bars made to order, also repairs, painting and onsite welding. Please call Steve for a quote 633 3374 619

KARAOKE whire a kwizoke+ Entertainment system for 7 nights of entertainment. Go to fill in the fiorm on the ‘Contact Us’ page for a demo. Or email:

KENNELS AND CATTERIES wwagtails boarding kennels for cats and dogs. Dogs walked 3 times a day in 36,000 sq metres fenced land. Phone Val 655 579 792 or Richard 645 659 935 or wThe Dog house While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. Large play area, lots of country walks. Pet collection/del. service. Vet services on call. Gourmet meals if required. 'Only the best for your pal'. Ring: Phil 649 079 321 Comares/Benamargosa. Ex cat & dog airlines.UK. Recommended. Refs available. whome From home Dog Boarding at my 10,000m2 finca in Riogordo. No kennels just lots of excercise,

MACHINE HIRE wSaxon SL JCB Digger Hire. New machine Good rates. Velez Malaga. Call: 678232253 or 662398372

MARKET GOODS wMr Clutter Wants your Goods, House and garage clearances, shops and bars - old stock, any item considered. Call David: 686 375 089 - or if preferred email a list to Cash available and efficient service, Now buying Antiques,Gold & Jewellery.

MASSAGE AND YOGA wEssere, personalised massage therapy and yoga therapy in Calle Colon, 6 Nerja. By appointment only 722 105 740 or - 13 years helping people all around the world.

MECHANICS wFully Qualified City & guilds Mechanic, Servicing, Camshaft drive belt and much more. ITVs and ITV work carried out. Call: 696 578 771 or email:

MEDICAL CENTRES wDr. Bernadette veeger General Medicine 952 532 065, 617 913 196. Consultations by appointment and house visits. English, Español, Deutsch, Francais, Nederlands. Centro Mar y Salud, Paseo Marítimo, El Morche/Torrox Costa,


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The Sentinella Paginas MEDICAL CENTRES (cont)


wSimpleCare: a perfect way to access affordable private healthcare services at a fraction of the normal cost, specialist consultation from €24, annual membership €59., Tel 952532023, email

wStockton Plastering and Damp Services Time served plasterer, 30 years experience in all aspects of plastering and damp proofing. Insurance approved and fully legal. Call: 648 243 656 for a no obligation quotation or visit “The Master Plasterer” 20+ yrs Exp. Plaster and Rendering, coving, wall stitching and nylon matting specialist. Tel Darren 693 712 475

METALWORK wSteelwork, stainless steel, staircases, balustrades, gates, grills, repairings, etc. Call for a free quote 606 656 008 wMetalwork made to measure - Gates, Doors, Rejas. M.O.T. welding and on-site repairs. All areas. Also building work. All work guaranteed. We support the Axarquia Animal Rescue Charity. Andy: 952 517 502 or 676 719 066

MOBILITY PRODUCTS wBlue Badge Mobility.S.L Hire & Sales of Mobility Scooters, Wheelchairs, Bathroom aids, Toilet Aids, Stair Lifts, Long term rentals, Best prices on the Costa. Quality Service. Contact Gary Or Sara 952967015 /635445279

MOTORCYCLE REPAIRS wrods motorcycles. Mobile motorcycle service and repairs. From scooters to superbikes. All makes and models. Factory trained technician. Contact 633 287 190.

NURSERY EQUIPMENT wNursery Needs An established, quality nursery hire service for when babies & small children come to visit. All orders come with a free toy for the duration of the hire, please phone Dawn on 627 931 360 wkiddies Cots and Things to hire. In Spanish Management Cruz de Periana, Puente don Manuel, Tel: 666 135 516

OPTICIANS wheiko by heiko, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar 952 967 923

PET COURIERS wPet Taxi- UK, France & Spain Delivered door to door. Call: 667 235 205

PHYSIOTHERAPY wSanne Mortensen Sibree-Paul, BSc (Hons), MCSP, Spanish registered, Col no 2066. El Morche/Torrox Costa. Experienced UK trained physiotherapist offering post-operative rehabilitation andtreatment of general musculo-skeletal conditions. Also Master's in Pelvic Floor Dysfunctions, male and female. 626 152 756

PLUMBERS wJust Plumbing. Just a quick and reliable plumbing service. Just a reasonably priced local business. Just polite, prompt and tidy. Just phone Dave on 689 647 849. Discounts in Riogordo, Colmenar, Comares. wandy Mann Uk Corgi-registered Domestic Water and Gas services. All areas covered. Combi boiler technician. Emergency Breakdowns Tel: 633 875 588 Email: wClima madrid, sale of materials, installations and repairs, air con, plumbing, solar panels, pools, heating, Ind, Punto Limpio, Nave 3-6, Nerja, 649 318 333,

PORTRAITS wPortraits commission in graphite, oil or pastel. View past commissions plus original oil paintings of local harbour/urban scenes. Call Brian 645406804 (

PRINTER INK CARTRIDGES wink Cartridges for all makes of Printers. Original or Compatible. Tuesdays: Jardines del Trapiche Market. Fridays: Chiringuito Antonio Market, Puente don Manuel or call for free delivery 627 242 977 email:

PROPERTY RENTALS wBuy a home Spain/rent a home Spain, C/ Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: Website: wanubi Estate agents specialising in long term property rentals, C/Antonio Millon 6, Nerja, 952 526 230, 609 930 662,,

QUAD/ATV HIRE wSpectacular quad/atv routes. For all ages with or without experience. Alcaucin-Periana-Viñuela area. or call Frank 649 661 184.

Advertise your business here! 60 euros for 12 months Call: 664 210 468

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email


The Sentinella Paginas REMOVALS


wMan with a van, 7.5 tonne capacity, Ikea collections and fitting long and short haul, also roofing and decorating services. Call Steve 633 337 619 Email: wTransportation to Uk to Spain to Uk. Whole van loads or single items. Good rates. Regular trips. Also local removals. Call Graham: 620 353 594

wDel Prado & Partners, specialists in many areas of Spanish Law. Call: 952 52 72 74 / 952 52 17 47

RENT A CAR wrent a Car Estrella rent Delivery and collection at Malaga airport or in your location. Automatic cars. Unlimited kilometers, full insurance, VAT and additional driver included. - 952 511 209

RESTAURANTS wTaj Mahal (Torre del Mar) Avenida Andalucia,Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053 wTaj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, Venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 / 667 934 731 wTaj Mahal (Torrox Costa) Ctra Vacional - 340 next to Post Office. 952 534 972 / 634 051 635 wrestaurant Caribe, Bloque 7, Local 13, Costa del Oro, Torrox Costa. Tlf: 952 530 831 wrestaurante Padre Pio Paseo Maritimo de Levante, Torre del Mar. Tel: 633 701 449 / 622 775 080. Email:

SATELLITE T.V. wTotal Satellite installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266. wSky Costa Certified aerial/satellite installer. For all your satellite needs. Call for a free no obligation quote: 667 440 632 or email:

SATELLITE T.V. (Continued) wSky Shop Torre del Mar. Call: 667 235 205 or 952 541 147 wSat. Co. BBC & ITV for free & Sky Digital, dishes, alignments, installations. We also sell HD TVs. Call Tom 7 days a week for service. 657 484 853. All equipment delivered, installed & guaranteed for 2 years. Free demos every Sat. 2pm wTechno-vision Satellite Tv, Centro Comercial El Zoco, Nerja. Tel: 952 520 946 / 657 066 782 & 658 511 811. Visit our online shop at Email:

SECURITY wPErFECT alarm S.L., Caleta de Velez. High quality security systems, like video surveillance, alarm systems, perimetric protection systems, home automation. Worldwide surveillance of your property. If requested, we are licensed to connect to a monitoring station. We speak English and German. Call Mr. Martin on 608 517 661

SPAS & SAUNAS wTime Out Spas & Saunas. Serving The Costa del Sol for more than 10 Years. Hundreds of Spas Installed! We service all Brands of Spas so come to us - we are the Professionals. 952 52 43 94

STORAGE/PARKING wCaravans/boats storage + general storage. 24hr security, best rates. Caravan storage from under 1€ a day. Long term discounts also available. Almayate Costa N340. Tel: 680 180 468

SWIMMING POOLS waquamarine Pools - Maintenance, Technical Service, Installations, Repairs, Diagnostics & Consultations. Email: Tel: 600 811 355

T-SHIRT PRINTING wTees & Polos Embroided & printed, TShirts & Polo Shirts. Great prices. Free design Call: 664 210 468 Email:

VETS wDr. Pet, the Vet of your pets. Molre than 30 years experience. Vaccinations, surgery, home calls and all advise in order to keep your pets healthy and happy. Speaking English, Dutch and Spanish. 646 357 637 Office: Pasaje Santa Margarita, Torre del Mar.

WEB DESIGNERS wSpanglish webs, Web designs, Database Programmes, Hosting, Domains, Real Estate Sites, English – Spanish Translation. All at realistic prices. Call Rachel: 951 708 454 or 691 660 187 Website: Email:

WINDOWS & DOORS w Matthew Dean Mobile: 644 406 259 email: References or viewings of previously completed works available.

WINDOW TINTING wMobile service itv legal Solar reflective tint for glass curtains, balconies, yachts stop fading, heat ,glare, save money on cooling make living in the sun comfortable. 958 496 571-644 546 176

WOODWORK wSunshine woodwork and Building Services. Woodwork, building, plastering, bricklaying etc. Free quotation, no obligation. Call: 606 510 479.

avda. andalucia, 125-a, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 601 / 649 123 068

Canillas de aceituno

ref.: 1262

Beautiful new construction villa (4 beds,1,5 baths/124m2) with fantastic panoramic views of the mountains. Office, terrace and solarium. Land (6,000m2) terraced for cultivation. 1km track and 1.5km asphalt to the town of alcaucin

Price: 135,000€ (reduced by 54,000€) Torre del Mar

ref.: 3570

Detached house (2 beds, 2 baths/100m2) in one of the best developments in Torre del Mar. Fireplace, a/C, double glazing, furnished, terrace + balcony, carport, community pool + garden, 100m2 plot

Price: 198,000€

FP0920 An immaculate, 119m², two bedroom villa with pool on a 690m² garden plot and within walking distance to local bars and restaurants


189,500€ wE havE CLiENTS SEarChiNg FOr LONg TErM rENTaL PrOPErTiES, ESPECiaLLY viLLaS iN ThE NErJa aND TOrrOX arEaS




A one bedroom apartment in this popular area close to the town with terrace overlooking the communal pool and gardens

A bright and airy two bedroom apartment with westerly aspect overlooking the communal garden and pool areas to the mountains and sea. Garage space allocated. Mortgage available

ONLY 80,000€

rEDUCED TO 131,000€


OFFiCE Calle El Barrio, 11 Nerja. 29780 Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306 / 606 087 362

The Sentinella Axarquia January 14  

The little mag that fits in your bag for info on the go

The Sentinella Axarquia January 14  

The little mag that fits in your bag for info on the go