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Jokes h a ha :) So this bloke came up to me in the street and asked if I wanted shares in his Partridge and Pheasant Company, I thought hello what's his game. ------------------------------------------------------------Whilst we cooked dinner, the wife shouts, "I hope you haven't done chips for my mother, you know she hates them." "We did her mash!" sang me and the kids. "We did the monster mash." ------------------------------------------------------------A sales rep's car breaks down in a remote part of the Scottish Highlands. Relieved to see a farmer he says, “Is there a mechanic around here?” “Oh no,” replies the farmer, “We're all McDonalds.” ------------------------------------------------------------You know it's cold outside when you trip over dog shit rather than stand in it! ------------------------------------------------------------I keep asking my wife how much she paid for her botox injections. Unfortunately she remains all tight lipped about it. ------------------------------------------------------------I've got to say I am very disappointed with my UK Border Agency Advent Calendar. All the doors have been left open. ------------------------------------------------------------I was so drunk last night when i got to the bottom of the stairs i took off my shoes, coat, top, trousers and underwear. I crept upstairs very quietly, it was only when i got to the top of the stairs i realised i was on the BUS!! ------------------------------------------------------------The founder of IKEA has died. His funeral will be held tommorrow at 3 o'clock. However, mourners have been asked to turn up at 12 to help assemble the coffin. ------------------------------------------------------------I called the RSPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs." "That's terrible," she replied. "Are they mov-

ing?" "I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase." ------------------------------------------------------------I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'. You probably saw our posters. ------------------------------------------------------------Paddy goes into a builders yard and orders 20,000 bricks."May I ask what you're building?" Asks the man behind the counter. "Yes," replies Paddy, "It's going to be a barbecue." "That's a lot of bricks for one barbecue," says the man. Paddy says, "Not really, I live on the 18th floor!" ------------------------------------------------------------I rang the vets earlier and said, "My ostrich isn't well, his head is drooping to one side. Could I have an appointment?" The receptionist said, "Awww, neck's weak?" I said, "No! He might be dead by then!" ------------------------------------------------------------Bumped in to the Invisible man the other day ..god not seen him for years

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The Sentinella Magazine January 2016  

The Little Mag That Fits In Your Bag For Info On The Go!

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