The Evil Overlord of Cloning, Running, Dancing, Parties, Snowboarding…And of Looking Goood. I watched the three children interrogating one of Adam’s clones and even their trusted friend, Guage. “Wow man, they’re not doing well. Awww… what the heck? I’ll give them a break.” Pressing a button on the control panel in my laboratory, I opened the entrance to my secret headquarters. Guage, Amanda and Tommy turned in shock. Adam’s clone seemed to be preoccupied… “Hey guys, what’s up?” I greeted. It was quite possibly the funniest thing I’d ever seen, too. They were all speechless! I was about to talk to them about who I was when all of a sudden… CRASH… THUD! Out of nowhere, some guy fell out of an air vent right on top of me. “Hi,” the kid greeted, “I’m Brian.” The other kids burst out laughing… except Tommy. He looked insulted. “How could you land on this poor guy? Can’t you see how sexy he looks? You could’ve of hurt him!” Tommy shouted to everyone’s astonishment. Amanda seemed the most shocked. “Tommy, why would you go for this random guy? He just came out of the wall, too, from what looks like a lab. This guy is probably evil.” “Well Amanda but just look at him! He’s irresistible! I can’t help but want to be with him forever!” Guage didn’t seem the list bit phased. “I knew it! Tommy is totally gay! I knew it from the start! I mean, that one day… and from then on, I just knew it!” “Guage I’m not gay… I’m just saying this guy is… is the overlord of looking good.” The stranger smiled. “He’s right you know. I AM the overlord of looking good. But it’s such trouble! All these girls are always all over me! Everyone is always talking about me! It gets kind of bothersome after a while.”
Everyone else muttered something sarcastic under their breath but Tommy nodded… a little too emphatically. “Oh but you’ll see,” the stranger continued, “eventually you’ll all fall under my sexiness. It grows on people. Your friend, here, just has the best taste. Oh, but where are my manners? I’m Turbo. Of course, everyone calls me the Evil Overlord.” “Nice to meet you, Overlord. I’m Tommy in case you didn’t know. May I just say that you are looking great today! I love what you’ve done with your lab, too.” Tommy greeted while walking forward and shaking my hands. “Now these are the kinds of people we need on our side! Son, what do you say about joining the evil side? You’ll be working directly with me.” The Overlord knew the answer coming. “Of course! When do I start? What do I do? Can I clone myself? Can I clone someone else, too? Is there free snacks?” Tommy kept on pouring out questions but I answered only a few. “You start immediately and no, never, clone yourself. A clone never gets along with its creator. In fact, they usually become the opposite of what their creator is.” Of course Guage added in, “Well then clone him! We’ll get someone much better!” But Tommy didn’t seem to notice, he was too affiliated by his new idol, the Overlord. “What about snacks?” Tommy asked again. “Sorry, kid, but crumbs cause disastrous results if they get in any experiments so no eating in the lab.” I answered, bringing down his spirits, and then adding, “But we do have a private kitchen!” “Sorry guys, I’m on his side now.” Tommy stated, obviously not willing to change. “Well have fun, Overlord, with your new intern who’ll probably get lost just walking in.” Guage insultingly commented once more. Tommy either didn’t here or was ignoring Guage… actually- wait no!- Tommy was gone. A minute later he came back with a sandwich. “You guys… should… really… join this… side.” Tommy said, pausing in-between mouthfuls. I smiled. I wonder when they’ll figure out that Adam’s sitting inside my kitchen, eating a sandwich like Tommy right now…
But I didn’t say anything. They still had time left… before… well bad things happened. And I had a party to get to! Maybe they’d even like to come along… “Well you guys gonna come along, too? There’s a party starting soon! Cameron Diaz is going to be there!” At that moment, the new kid who had fallen out of the ceiling spoke up. “Cameron Diaz?! Where? When? How? Why? Wait… no, just where?! WHERE?!” The Brian kid was hanging onto my shirt staring at me at the end of his line of questions. “Calm yourself… She’s here for Adam. She wants to meet the rock star in person.” Brian’s heart sank. He let go of my shirt. It looked like he was about to cry… and then remembered he was a man and men don’t cry. After that it looked like he was inwardly debating whether or not all men should have equal shots with celebrities… I think he lost... but Brian remained quiet until he saw her in person. “Hey, Overlord!” Cameron walked out through the hole in the wall to the lab. “Are we starting soon?” “Yes, just dealing with some business. I’ll be there in a second.” THUD! Brian was unconscious faster than anyone could imagine. Amanda said aloud now, “Well if there’s party and Adam’s there, we should all be attending.” Everyone nodded in unison and Tommy pulled Brian into the lab by his feet. While I have your attention I’d like to advertise the newest advancement of Evil brand products:
Patented Version 67,892 May cause pain, fatigue or gonorrhea…. Depending on what you do with the machine. Do not attempt without wearing pants… things go wrong. Lastly, if you are too large to fit inside the cloning machine please reorder a different size. But we won’t give you your money back! What? It’s not our fault! Didn’t you see the word evil followed by –ly?!