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HOW-TO:

LOVELY LIP COLOR MAKE YOUR

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WHAT GADGETS WORK HOW STRESSED ARE YOU? 8 RULES FOR TOUGH TIMES


oman

TODAY’SW VOL .25/NO. 2

WHAT WORKS FOR HER

The Gadget Liz McKune Can’t Live Without p8

HER TURNING POINT p10

“The majority of what we eat is based on habit.” — Jill Stearman

SHE KICKS IT!

p24

FEBRUARY 2015 / CONTENTS

Advice from the Queen of Etiquette p22

SHE SAVED HER HUSBAND

from widowhood p30

LIP APPEAL

23 p42

Tara Smith and Rudy are the perfect pair.

Bosom Buddies

p32

THINGS WE LOVE THIS MONTH p14

BEFORE SHE GOES p50

8

RULES FOR SURVIVING TOUGH MOMENTS p12

LISTEN TO YOUR p29

M

HEARTY SEAFOOD STEW p48

WAYS TO GUIDE YOUR HEART Advice from our experts p46 8 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR HEART HAPPY

— Special Supplement

ARE YOU

STRESSED? Take this quiz…p44


I Love Me!

For the Love of You

With all the red hearts and chocolates everywhere you look, many of us consider how to express love and affection for others — whether it is your man or family members. But we want today’s woman to stop and think about yourself for a few minutes. In this issue, we are focusing on ways you can give yourself some love that will not only benefit you, but the people who depend on you most. Follow Jill Stearman’s lead (page 10) by making better decisions about your health and attitude. Or take our stress quiz to find out if you need some down time (page 44). Also, let this month be the beginning of you taking good care of your heart. In our heart special section, four women share how their experiences with heart disease have given them a new perspective. Making small changes in your life can be impactful, because when you love yourself, people notice — and that is beautiful.

ON OUR COVER

It’s a match that was meant to be. Find out how Emilee Ruxer and her dog Ellie Mae met on page 38. HAIR: Tiffany Maynard; MAKEUP: Denise

Cardwell both from Blades Salon & Spa

PHOTO: Melissa Donald STYLING: Alissa Hicks See clothing details on page 36.

WE ARE ONLINE: TodaysWomanNow.com

FEBRUARY 2015 Volume 25 8 Number 2

PUBLISHER Cathy S. Zion publisher@todayspublications.com EDITOR IN CHIEF Anita Oldham editor@todayspublications.com EDITOR Tiffany White tiffany@todayspublications.com CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Lucy M. Pritchett CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Miranda G. Popp miranda@todayspublications.com ASSISTANT EDITOR/DESIGNER Jessica Alyea jessica@todayspublications.com OFFICE ADMINISTRATOR Jillian LeMaster officeadmin@todayspublications.com ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Susan Allen susan@todayspublications.com ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Kaitlyn English kaitlyn@todayspublications.com ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Teri Hickerson teri@todayspublications.com ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Suzy Hillebrand suzy@todayspublications.com ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Joyce Inman joyce@todayspublications.com GRAPHIC DESIGNER April H. Allman april@todayspublications.com

REPRINTS ARE AVAILABLE!

GRAPHIC DESIGNER Kathy Bolger kathyb@todayspublications.com

For advertising information in Today’s Woman, call 502.327.8855.

PHOTOGRAPHER/FOOD WRITER Melissa Donald melissa@todayspublications.com

Call 502.327.8855, ext. 10, or email us at reprints@todayspublications.com with details and specifics.

Today’s Woman

is published monthly by:

Zion Publications, LLC 9750 Ormsby Station Road, Suite 307, Louisville, KY 40223 Phone: (502) 327-8855 • Fax: (502) 327-8861 todayswomannow.com

Subscriptions are available by sending $18 to the above address for 12 monthly issues. Today’s Woman magazine is published monthly by Zion Publications LLC and distributed free to the people of metropolitan Louisville and Southern Indiana. Circulation 50,000 guaranteed. The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publisher. Today’s Woman magazine does not endorse or guarantee any advertiser’s product or service.

MEDIA ASSOCIATE Alissa Hicks alissa@todayspublications.com CIRCULATION MANAGER W. Earl Zion

Copyright 2015 by Zion Publications LLC with all rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or graphic content in any manner is prohibited without permission from Zion Publications LLC.

BBB RATING OF

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TODAY’S WOMAN


WHAT WORKS

I Love My Car, My Phone, and My Chair by LUCY M. PRITCHETT / photos by MELISSA DONALD What Works for the woman named Kentucky Psychologist of the Year 2014: Liz McKune, 46, director of behavioral health for Passport Health Plan, a local nonprofit community-based health plan administering Kentucky Medicaid benefits. HOMETOWN: Bethany, Mo. NEIGHBORHOOD: East End HOUSEHOLD: Husband, Joe McKune; daughters, Maggie,16, and Katie, 13

HER PHONE I have had my Blackberry Q10 since January 2013. I love it because it has a keyboard and a touchscreen. I can use the keyboard to send texts and emails of any length. I hated the Android touchscreen keyboard that I used to have as I didn’t find it good for typing accurate messages for business. I am a believer in the Blackberry. It gives me the best of both worlds. I can’t imagine life without it. It is black with a white Otterbox case. I don’t have a special ringtone. I keep it on vibrate. HER CAR I am on the road driving to Frankfort and throughout the state two to three days a week. Both my daughters play on volleyball clubs, and we are always going to practices and tournaments. Last year, I put more than 30,000 miles on my 2013 Ford Edge. It is a mid-size SUV between the Escape and the Explorer. It is not too big or too small. I love my car. It is ruby red and has heated seats and a sunroof. With the sunroof open, I feel like I am spending time outdoors. It is comfortable for me when I am by myself but big enough to haul volleyball gear and kids. HER BEST SEAT The stadium chair is a wonderful invention. It attaches directly onto a hard bleacher seat and makes those long days — sometimes 12 hours — at volleyball tournaments with my daughters much more comfortable. It is made of sturdy canvas, the seat is padded, and it is lightweight and easy to carry. (laughs) I can sleep sitting up in it. I bought mine a couple of years ago and since then have given them as gifts. They are relatively inexpensive — about $35-$40.

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TODAY’S WOMAN


todayswomannow.com / facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow

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>

TURNING POINT

<

There’s an App for That! By LUCY M. PRITCHETT Photo by MELISSA DONALD

JILL STEARMAN, M.D., 34, emergency department physician at Norton Women’s and Kosair Children’s Hospital, St. Matthews; partner in Wellness MD, a medical practice focusing on areas of preventative, anti-aging, and functional medicine. Hometown: Greensburg, Ky. Neighborhood: Hillview Household: Husband, Jeff Eden Website: wellnessmdky.com

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Four years ago, Jill Stearman found herself overweight, unhappy, lacking energy, and in the midst of a divorce. “I made the decision to begin living a healthy lifestyle,” she says. “One that tallied with the health changes I was recommending to my patients. The decision to begin that journey and the changes I made took me to an unexpected place.” Every journey begins with the first step. Jill’s first step came in January 2010 when she began keeping a food diary. “I downloaded the app My Fitness Pal (myfitnesspal.com) and wrote down everything I ate. At this point, I wasn’t thinking about restrictions. I could eat anything I wanted, but I entered every bite in my food diary. I became aware of the foods I was putting in my body and the number of calories those foods contained. “This awareness of what I was consuming first led me to stop eating fast food. Occasionally, when I would get off a night shift in the ER, I would want dinner and not breakfast. I would stop at Sonic on my way home and get a cheeseburger at 8 o’clock in the morning, eat it, and go home and go to bed. That cheeseburger, I learned, contained 800 calories. I don’t do that anymore.” Six months into her diet change, Jill joined Curves Fitness club, a womenonly gym where she said she felt comfortable and three times a week completed a 30-minute workout. By 2013, now 60 pounds lighter, Jill was running on her Spirit treadmill. With the help of another app, Couch to 5K (c25k.com), she began training in earnest and by the end of 2013 had run two half-marathons and another halfmarathon in 2014. Jill acknowledges that keeping a food diary led to her own healthier lifestyle and an opportunity to open a private practice that lets her spend time with her patients and guide them on their own journeys. TODAY’S WOMAN


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Survival Skills of Karyn Hascal

By MARIE BRADBY / Photos by MELISSA DONALD

“E

very treatment program I’ve worked in since 1979 has had waiting lists,” says Karyn Hascal, president of the Healing Place, a long-term, residential addiction recovery program that serves 600 men and women daily on three campuses. “We’ve never had enough detox beds, rehab beds, or outpatient slots. Only 12 percent of the people nationally who need treatment are able to access treatment.” Karyn has been in this field for 37 years. After a brief stint as an English teacher, she knew she’d found her calling when she got a job as a counselor at Seven Counties’ Jefferson Alcohol and Drug Abuse Center. “I knew immediately that this is where I was meant to be,” she says. “I’m not in recovery myself, don’t come from an alcoholic family. I had no predisposition to being in the business. But I am a tolerant and understanding person. I have been fortunate to understand the disease and that people do recover.” In the spring, the Healing Place will break ground on a new men’s unit, adding 200 beds. “One of the things that is interesting is people in longtime recovery blend in with the population,” Karyn says. “They are out there living their lives and staying sober.”

Karyn’s rules for staying motivated when working with tough situations:

1. Know who you are,

what your passion is, and stick with that. I have been able to keep my eye on the ball — that man or woman who is still suffering from addiction. Trying to find ways to treat all the people who want to get help — either by changing systems or policy — keeps me motivated.

2. Be hopeful. I truly

believe that people are capable of change and that those who suffer from addiction can find recovery and serenity and live productive lives. I am still in contact with clients that I worked with more than

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35 years ago who are sober, content, and have lived wonderful lives in recovery.

3. Do something that is

completely removed from work life. A good walk in my neighborhood or the park in the fresh air is the best way for me to find balance and decompress. I also practice meditation.

4. Rather than address

negativity, address people’s fears or insecurities. Negative people are really fearful. Remaining positive and actively listening to people doesn’t allow negativity to grow and contaminate the conversation. People in withdrawal from drugs and/or alcohol are under a lot of stress, are usually in great pain and despair, and simply hope life can get better. Communicating hope overcomes most negativity.

Karyn Hascal President, the Healing Place

5. When faced with drama, it’s critical to remain calm. People in addiction are constantly in drama. I tell them, ‘I understand you are upset. Let’s see how to unravel the situation and figure out how to tackle the problem one item at a time, one day at a time, or one person at a time.’

6. Apply the Serenity

Prayer to your life and those around you. I say, ‘Whoa, let’s talk about what we can change, what we as humans cannot change, and see if we can figure out the difference between those two things.’ That gets me through the day.

7. There is no value

in living in the past or wallowing in problems. I have faced some challenges in my life. I was widowed at a young age (41) and had a

young child (my son was 7). I never asked, ‘Why me?’ I simply began the task of moving forward. I told somebody way back, ‘That self-pity thing doesn’t look good on me. It’s like trying to wear yellow — it just doesn’t work for me.’

8.

“Every day in every way, I am getting better and better.” My grandfather was my personal guru. He ran a large chemical company in Cleveland, Oh., where I’m from. He was such a balanced person, very optimistic, hopeful, always looked for the good, the right and the just. When I was a girl, he would take me to work with him and would recite that mantra to himself every day. I have adopted that and recite it daily as a way to focus myself for the day.

TODAY’S WOMAN


23THINGS Why 23? Because we are 23 years old!

Happenings, news, celebrations, and tidbits that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month. By ANITA OLDHAM & ALISSA HICKS

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*Valentine Sparkle* FOR YOUR FINGER:

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All photos by MELISSA DONALD

What good is the

warmth of summer without the

cold of winter to give it

sweetness?

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~ Author Unknown

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A Photographer’s Connection

Photographer Melissa Donald took selfies with each of the dogs from our fashion shoot. 12 14

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Top: From the Italian Connection Collection, recycled 18-carat yellow gold ring with Venetian glass and black diamonds, $1,980 at FROM THE VAULT Middle: Sterling silver rings with diamonds (marquise blue topaz, $350 and pink tourmaline, $450) at FROM THE VAULT Bottom: 18-carat white gold ring with 2.41 natural, unheated orange sapphire with .25 carats of diamonds, $4,575 from MOORE JEWELERS TODAY’S WOMAN


23 THINGS SHOW THE LOVE As part of our Show the Love contest, we are asking you to send us photos of you and your pet (and your family, and your friends, and your love). So, we wanted to share some of our staff showing the love to their pets. (Find out how to Show the Love and win prizes on page 20 26 or at TodaysWomanNow.com.)

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Cathy Zion and Tri xie

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*Valentine Sparkle* FOR YOUR NECK:

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Back

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Ben, Carly, Squeaker, and April Allman

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Top: Charles Krypell circular black sapphire pendant, $1,395 from DAVIS JEWELERS

Tif fany White and Heaven

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Middle: Love & Loved silver necklaces, $110 each from CALE & COLE Bottom: XOX 14-carat white gold necklace with diamonds equaling .26 carats, $1,125 from MOORE JEWELERS TODAY’S TODAY’SWOMAN WOMAN


todayswomannow.com / facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow

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23 THINGS *Valentine Sparkle* FOR YOUR EARS:

SHOW THE LOVE

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Suzy Hilleb ra and Roxie H nd art

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Right: Kate Hamilton tin and pearl earrings, $80, at FROM THE VAULT Below: Geode drop earrings, $148, from CALE & COLE

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Alissa Hicks and Buddy

FOR YOUR WRIST:

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Left: David Yurman Sterling Silver Labyrinth mini singleloop pink sapphire bracelet, $1,850, with David Yurman Sterling Silver mini singleloop diamond bracelet, $1,350, with stainless steel Michele Chronograph watch head on a black strap, $1,795 from DAVIS JEWELERS.

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Right: Lock and key 14-carat yellow gold bracelet, $2,275, from MOORE JEWELERS. Kathy Bolger and Riley

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todayswomannow.com / facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow

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23 THINGS nineteen

Check out these upcoming good causes Chocolate Dreams on Feb. 2 is GuardiaCare’s fundraiser and also the time when Today’s Transitions magazine recognizes the Caregiver of the Year. guardiacare.org Fight for Air Climb - the American Lung Association is having a stair climb on February 7. Today’s Woman has formed a Scan-dalous team to further promote the lung scan that saved owner Cathy Zion’s life. Donate or join the climbing at climblouisville.org. CANstruction: A design/ build competition where the local design and construction community competes by building structures from food cans that ultimately get donated to the Dare to Care Food Bank. At Mall St. Matthews from Feb 23-28 to vote. louisville. canstruction.org

*Valentine Sparkle* FOR YOUR MAN:

20 Right: Wolf Designs red lacquer watch winder, $250, and stainless steel Longines “Hydroconquest” watch, $1,450, from DAVIS JEWELERS Below: Mark Needham Cuff Links, $80.95, from SISTER DRAGONFLY

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Desserts First is the Girl Scouts’ delicious fundraiser on March 25 at Mellwood. gskentuckiana.org Celebration of Service and Survival is the Center for Women and Families’ big event on Feb 26. thecenteronline.org Tulips and Juleps Art and Gift Show at Slugger Field from Feb. 27-March 1 raises money for the Junior League’s causes. juniorleaguelouisville.org Bottoms Up: This March 6 bash raises funds for colon cancer prevention. coloncancerpreventionproject.org

– SHOW THE LOVE –

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Susan Allen and Boodreaux, Charlie, and Maeze

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Wine, Women and Shoes puts all the good things together to benefit the Family Scholar House on March 6 at the Henry Clay. winewomenandshoes.com/ louisville Pearls & Pumps: Fashion show to aid women’s cancer care on March 7. PearlsandPumps.org 20 18

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Anita Oldham and Fred

TODAY’S WOMAN WOMAN TODAY’S


Professional Connections

CALENDAR

Networking and career-building opportunities for women around town

Athena’s Sister Every 2nd & 4th Mon. • 6-8pm 1741 Frankfort Avenue Marlene Aldrich Perry 502.322.4135 Marlene.Aldrich@Phoenix.edu

League of Women Voters Every 3rd Mon. • 6pm Lang House, 115 S. Ewing Ave. Pat Murrell 502.895.5218 info@lwvlouisville.org

BPW-Business & Professional Women - New Albany Every 3rd Mon. • 5:30pm Contact for info & reservation. Tuckers, 2441 State St. Nadine Wilkinson 502.523.1698

Legal Secretaries of Louisville Every 3rd Tues. • 11:30am Bristol Bar & Grille 614 West Main Street Angela Gibson 502.589.5980 AGibson@bsg-law.com legalseclou-ky.org

BPW-Business & Professional Women River City Every 2nd Wed. • Noon Lunch and Program noon-1pm The Bristol-Downtown, 614 West Main St. 502.499.4420, bpwrc.org bpwreserve@gmail.com Bridge the Gap Professional Women Every 5th Sun. Heyburn Building 430 W. Muhammad Ali, Ste. 24A Hazel Parrish, Chapter President 502.417.2566, hazelp17@gmail.com Call to reserve. CBPW - Christian Business & Professional Women Every Second Thurs. (Odd months only) • Noon Hurstbourne Country Club 9000 Hurstbourne Club Lane Sharilyn Unthank 502.417.5481 cbpweast@gmail.com Distinctive Women, Entrepreneurial Women Making a Difference Every 1st Thurs • 6:30-8pm Email for meeting location Deleskia Butler 502.509.5521 distinctivewomen2013@gmail.com

MLWPC - Metropolitan Louisville Women’s Political Caucus Every 4th Mon. • 5:30pm Olmsted Bistro at Masonic Homes 3701 Frankfort Avenue Sherry Conner 502.776.2051 mayorconner@insightbb.com NAWBO - National Association of Women Business Owners Every 3rd Tues. info@nawbolouisville.org nawbolouisville.org National Association of Women in Construction Every 2nd Mon. • 5:30pm Call for meeting location Patty Stewart 812.288.4208 #121 National Association of Women MBAs Louisville Location & event vary. Details on website: mbawomen.org/chapter/louisville-kentucky *An MBA is not required for membership. NEW - Network of Entrepreneurial Women Every 2nd Wed. • 6-8pm Location varies. See nentw.com for details.

EWI - Executive Women International Kentuckiana Every 3rd Tues. • 5:30pm Contact for info & reservation Dotty Wettig dw1122@att.com

Network Now Every 2nd Fri. • 11:30am Hurstbourne Country Club 9000 Hurstbourne Club Lane Lee Ann Lyle 502.836.1422 lee@lalcomputers.com

The Heart Link Network Every 1st Wed. • 6:30pm Inverness at Hurstbourne Condos 1200 Club House Drive Barbara Madore 502.377.8625 40222.theheartlinknetwork.com

Southern Indiana Women’s Networking Group Every 3rd Wed. • 11:30am Holiday Inn-Lakeview 505 Marriott Drive, Clarksville info@soindwng.org

IAAP - International Association of Administrative Professionals- Louisville Every 2nd Thurs. • 6pm Location Varies – See website for details. iaap-louisville.org

Top Ladies of Distinction Inc. Every 2nd Fri. • 6:30pm Hotel Louisville, 120 W. Broadway, Suite 930 Mamie L Maxwell 502.767.4180 ms.maxwell@twc.com

todayswomannow.com todayswomannow.com // facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine // @todayswomannow @todayswomannow

WIN-Women in Networking Every 2nd Wed. • 11:15am Oxmoor Country Club 9000 Limehouse Lane Laura Ridge 502.491.7877 lridge@oxmoorcountryclub.com WIN-Women in Networking II Every 3rd Wed. • 11:30am Tumbleweed - Stoneybrook Kim Fusting 502.267.7066 kimins@bellsouth.net gowin2.com WIN-Women in Networking III Every 2nd Tues. • 11:30am Hurstbourne Country Club 9000 Hurstbourne Club Lane Mary Elliott 502.931.2906 win3louisville.com WIN-Women in Networking IV Every 3rd Tues. • 11:30am Big Springs Country Club 5901 Dutchman’s Lane Meg Blackwell 502.641.9589 megblackwell@btsales.net WIN-Women in Networking V Every 2nd Thurs. • 11:30am Buca di Beppo 2051 S. Hurstbourne Parkway Lee Ann Lyle 502.836.1422 info@win5networking.com win5networking.com Women’s Business Center of KY funded in part by a cooperative agreement with the SBA Every 1st Fri. Roundtable • 8:30am Location – TBA Sharron Johnson 502.566.6076#104 sjohnson@cvcky.org cvcky.org/womensbusinesscenter.html Women’s Council of Realtors Every 3rd Thurs. • 11:30am Big Spring Country Club 5901 Dutchmans lane Elizabeth Monarch 502.551.1286 Elizabeth@elizabethmonarchgroup.com ZONTA- Advancing The Status of Women Every 1st Thurs. • 6pm Logan’s Steakhouse 5005 Shelbyville Road Joyce Seymour 502.553.9241 jespud@bellsouth.net Listings are on per month basis. To list your meeting for free, email your meeting date, time, location, contact info and website to advertising@todayspublications.com or call 502.327.8855 ext. 14. Deadline for inclusion in next issue is 2/8. 2015 2015

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Thanks, Emily Y

THE AGENDA ON TWITTER

TodaysWoman@TodaysWomanNow Feb 2

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puppy

love!

HOW-TO:

LOVELY LIP COLOR

+

WHAT GADGETS WORK HOW STRESSED ARE YOU? 8 RULES FOR TOUGH TIMES

MAKE YOUR

HAPPY

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JEWELRY GIFT IDEAS

TodaysWoman@TodaysWomanNow Feb 21

FEBRUARY 2015

puppy

love!

HOW-TO:

LOVELY LIP COLOR

We love dreaming of chocolate — but this is even better — we can eat it! @GuardiaCare Chocolate Dreams @BellarmineU #chocolate

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WHAT GADGETS WORK HOW STRESSED ARE YOU? 8 RULES FOR TOUGH TIMES

MAKE YOUR

HAPPY

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It’s time for the Heart Ball. Get your dancing shoes on! @HeartKentucky #heartball

JEWELRY GIFT IDEAS

TodaysWoman@TodaysWomanNow Feb 25

FEBRUARY 2015

puppy

love!

HOW-TO:

LOVELY LIP COLOR

+

WHAT GADGETS WORK HOW STRESSED ARE YOU? 8 RULES FOR TOUGH TIMES

MAKE YOUR

HAPPY

12

JEWELRY GIFT IDEAS

TodaysWoman@TodaysWomanNow Feb 26

FEBRUARY 2015

puppy

love!

HOW-TO:

LOVELY LIP COLOR

Who doesn’t believe in Desserts First? So many Girl Scout cookies, so little time @GirlsScoutsKy

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WHAT GADGETS WORK HOW STRESSED ARE YOU? 8 RULES FOR TOUGH TIMES

MAKE YOUR

HAPPY

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Can’t wait for the great Celebration of Service and Survival for Center for Women & Families @ChurchillDowns

JEWELRY GIFT IDEAS

TodaysWoman@TodaysWomanNow Feb 27

FEBRUARY 2015

puppy

love!

HOW-TO:

LOVELY LIP COLOR MAKE YOUR

HAPPY

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WHAT GADGETS WORK HOW STRESSED ARE YOU? 8 RULES FOR TOUGH TIMES

Start Shopping at Juleps & Tuleps Art and Gift Show for the Jr League at Slugger Field until Sunday! #spring

JEWELRY GIFT IDEAS

TWEET AT US

@TodaysWomanNow if you are also at these events or other events we should let our readers know about.

oohoo…Emily Post, where are you? So, some of you are asking, “Who the heck is Emily Post?” When I was growing up, she was known as the queen of etiquette. Whenever I’d make a mistake at the table — don’t talk with your mouth full, keep your napkin in your lap, ask for items to be passed instead of reaching…well, you get the gist...Emily Post was always cited. I would bristle at her name and roll my eyes, thinking, “Who really cares?” Then I got older, and I realized how much those life lessons paid dividends. Emily taught me manners about everything from weddings to business. In my opinion, the most basic one is the act of appreciation — the simple “thank you.” You can never say it enough. I was taught to write thank you notes to relatives and friends for gifts received. And not just a “thanks for the gift,” but a more genuine explanation of what the gift meant to me. In business, I have extended that same philosophy of sending notes when someone does something special. And isn’t it nice when someone thinks enough to sit down and write you a note? How thoughtful. Yet I am appalled….aghast….at the number of people who never even utter, email, or text a “thank you,” much less write a note. Over the past few years, this rudeness has begun to consume me. I try hard to attribute it to their upbringing or busyness, but I can’t help myself — it upsets me. Whether it’s a personal gift or a business gesture, it is just basic courtesy and politeness to acknowledge the gift with an expression of gratitude. Emily has passed along her etiquette business to her grandchildren, who practice a more modern approach. But the bottom line remains the same. According to the Post family, etiquette means “treating people with consideration, respect, and honesty. It means being aware of how our actions affect those around us.” Thank you, Emily, for creating this awareness and for passing it along. Thank you, readers, for letting me vent. Show the love…thank you.

Cathy Zion Publisher Today’s Woman

Where’s the Woman? Have you seen her? It’s Teedub, and she's hiding somewhere inside this magazine! Send an email to Tiffany@TodaysPublications.com with the page number you found her on, and you’ll be automatically entered in our drawing to win a $100 gift card from Sassy Fox Consignment.

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She Kicks It!

By CARRIE VITTITOE Photo by MELISSA DONALD

Kayla Cook

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n 2009, registered nurse Kayla Cook felt called to go on a medical mission trip to Zambia where she assisted at an orphanage, giving physicals to children and providing health education to staff. It was on this first trip that she met Matildah, a child from a nearby village who had spinal tuberculosis and severe burns. When Kayla returned to Zambia in 2011, she discovered that Matildah was living at the orphanage. Kayla, a mother of four adult children, wasn’t looking to adopt, but she says, “I knew I was meant to be her mom.” She began the process of bringing Matildah to the United States. Matildah underwent corrective surgery in 2012 and is now learning to walk. Knowing she would need a flexible schedule to provide for Matildah’s care, Kayla transitioned from a career as a nurse manager to an entrepreneur and launched her own company, Caring Excellence Personalized Home Care Services, to provide responsive nonmedical care to families. Nominate a woman for Today’s Woman Kicks It by sending an email to anita@todayspublications.com

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todayswomannow.com / facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow

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A Heart-Breaking Lesson

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I

Dustye McCallon will be teaching her daughters Molly (on lap), Luci (standing), and Maci (right) to take care of their hearts in honor of their grandmother.

t took many years before Dustye McCallon felt like celebrating her wedding anniversary. As the date neared, she experienced sadness and profound loss instead of joy and excitement. But that’s to be expected when your mother dies from a heart attack the night before your wedding. Dustye remembers how her mother, Barbara Wininger, collapsed at the rehearsal dinner in 2000. “It looked like she was having a seizure or a stroke,” she says. Dustye and her maid of honor, both lab techs trained in Advanced Cardiac Life Support, began CPR. When they realized Barbara no longer had a pulse, Dustye’s father-in-law took over chest compressions. Dustye knew she didn’t have it in her to use the proper force and break her mother’s ribs in the life-saving attempt. When EMS arrived, they used the defibrillator paddles three times on Barbara and stabilized her. But shortly after she reached the hospital, Barbara was pronounced dead at age 46. Barbara had visited a cardiologist a few months before her death. Although her blood pressure and cholesterol were a little high, Dustye says, “She was told she needed to lose weight and to come back in a year. There was nothing that alarmed them.” But Barbara did have a strong family history of heart disease; all 12 brothers and sisters had experienced some level of cardiovascular trouble. (Continued on page 28) todayswomannow.com / facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow

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(Continued from page 27)

Dustye with sister Billie Chandler, and mother Barbara Wininger.

M M M

Dustye’s Advice for Her Own Daughters:

M TRUST YOUR INTUITION.

If something doesn’t

“The autopsy showed she had experienced two previous heart attacks, and her coronary artery was 98 percent blocked,” Dustye says. Upon reflection, Dustye and her sister realized that those two previous attacks had been mistaken for anxiety attacks. Barbara had even called the cardiologist after the first one to see if she needed to come in. Despite her mother’s death, Dustye went ahead with her wedding the following day because Barbara had planned the entire wedding and reception. There were 12 attendants on each side of the wedding party, and they knew the logistics of everyone being able to get back together at a later date would be difficult. “All of the reception was a surprise party,” Dustye says. “We felt like it was a testament to my mother.” Dustye’s father, distraught by his wife’s sudden death, stayed home with his parents, and Dustye’s brother-in-law walked her down the aisle. The newlyweds went on their honeymoon to Disney World, although Dustye admits, “It was really pretty terrible being at the ‘happiest place on Earth.’” As she approaches her 15th wedding anniversary in May, she says, “We need a re-do honeymoon, eventually.” Heart disease hit home again when Dustye experienced high blood pressure during each of her three pregnancies. While her first pregnancy only required limited bed rest, she was put on strict bed rest and high blood pressure medication during her second. Following her third pregnancy, her blood pressure spiked at 12 weeks postpartum and required months of medication. Dustye knew she was in bad shape when she was on the floor with her newborn experiencing a debilitating headache that ultimately caused her to be rushed to the emergency room. Dustye sees her cardiologist every year and is proactive about her health as a result of her mother’s death and her own pregnancy experiences. She keeps her weight down, works out at the YMCA three days a week, and eats healthfully. It is important for her to set a good example for her own daughters, Maci, Luci, and Molly. In 2007, Dustye’s husband, Jon, planned a surprise wedding vow renewal ceremony for them, and her dad was there to give her away, along with her grandparents. Although she is now able to celebrate her wedding anniversary every May, it remains a bittersweet time. “Now that I have my kids, I wonder what it would be like if my mother was here to see them,” she says.

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M feel right, do not doubt

yourself. Dustye’s mother did not have any of the typical symptoms of a M heart attack, such as pain M running down her arm. M

M BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE.

Do not be scared to get M a second or third opinion if you feel uneasy about M a diagnosis.

M EVEN IF YOU THINK IT COULD

BE AN ANXIETY ATTACK, GET

M IT CHECKED OUT ANYWAY.

Peace of mind is worth a lot.

M Don’t assume, “This is all in M

my head.”

TODAY’S WOMAN


My husband was almost a widower with a 1-week-old baby.

by TIFFANY WHITE Photo by MELISSA DONALD

Jessica Tipton Sorrels couldn’t imagine that having children would put her life in jeopardy.

W

hile at her infant son’s routine check-up in 2010, Jessica Tipton Sorrels became ill, but she never suspected her heart was the problem. She thought the exhaustion of having a newborn had caused her labored breathing and difficulty speaking — until the pediatrician suggested she see a doctor immediately. When she arrived at the hospital, Jessica’s doctor ran a series of tests that revealed she had congenital heart failure due to postpartum preeclampsia. A rare condition, postpartum preeclampsia occurs after birth and causes hypertension and excess protein in the urine. Jessica — 27 years old at the time — couldn’t believe her health was in jeopardy. “I kept thinking to Jessica alleviates her myself, ‘I am in good health, eat stress by spending right, exercise, don’t smoke, but time with her sons, my heart is failing,” she says. “I reading, walking, or enjoying a glass of could be widowing my husband red wine. Lowering with a 1-week-old baby.’” stress is good for To get her heart back on your heart. track, Jessica’s cardiologist prescribed blood pressure medication and Lasix, a drug used to remove excessive fluid from around her heart and lungs. After six weeks, her heart had fully recovered, and she no longer needed medication. The possibility of having another heart attack is a reality Jessica must face, but she isn’t letting statistics hold her back. In 2012, Jessica gave birth to her second son without any

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complications and says she is glad she survived. In her free time, she reads with her children, walks, or treats herself to a glass of red wine. Jessica says she considers herself to be lucky and wants to encourage other women to be proactive about their health through her involvement as the Open Your Heart Committee Chair for the Go Red Luncheon. TODAY’S WOMAN


todayswomannow.com / facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow

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Perfect Pairs

These women take fashionable looks for a walk with their furry valentines. By TIFFANY WHITE • Photos: MELISSA DONALD Styling: ALISSA HICKS • Hair: TIFFANY MAYNARD, Makeup: DENISE CARDWELL, both from BLADES SALON & SPA

Dressy Direction

A self-professed dog lover, Erin Davis couldn’t imagine not having a companion like Raja, a Yorkiepoo, in her life. “I have always been a dog person but couldn’t have a big dog at the time because of where I lived,” she says. ANTICS: “She does the stop, drop, and roll. She stops, walks up to you, drops down to the ground, and then rolls over so you can rub her belly. She likes any type of toy that squeaks, and socks tend to be her favorite thing. She tosses the socks around, hides them, and rolls over them.” TREATS: “She eats green beans and macaroni and cheese, but she eats almost anything you give her.” ERIN IS WEARING: Dress by Antonio Melani, $159; Belt $38; Earrings by Vince Camuto, $38; Shoes by Gianni Bini, $80, Dillard’s, 500 Shelbyville Rd., 502.893.4400.

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TODAY’S WOMAN


Strong Looks

Sarah Nordman, director of sponsorships with the Louisville Bats, refers to her English bulldog, Johnson, as her little shadow. “He is the only dog that gets to go to the press box,” she says. ANTICS: “He follows me everywhere and goes to the office with me sometimes. When we’re at work, he likes to greet people at the elevator.” TREATS: “He loves to eat turkey.”

SARAH IS WEARING: Dress by Cremieux, $129; Vest by Cremieux, $129; Bracelet by Michael Kors, $125; Shoes by Gianni Bini, $90, Dillard’s 500 Shelbyville Rd., 502.893.4400.

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TODAY’S WOMAN


Clean Lines

Tara Smith’s boxer named Rudy has a goofy personality, which was a welcome distraction after her previous dog’s death. “I had a boxer that was born with kidney failure,” she says. “We had him three years before he died.” ANTICS: “When I turn on the blow dryer, he will watch me and bark until I point it on him. Afterward, he’ll run around like he is afraid of it and then he’ll come back and do it again.” TREATS: “He’s never turned down a treat, although bacon seems to be his favorite flavor.” TARA IS WEARING: Dress by Jessica Simpson,

$59; Jacket by Blue Pepper, $69; Boots by Ralph Lauren, $79; Earrings by Kenneth Jay Lane, $45, Dillard’s, 500 Shelbyville Rd., 502.893.4400.

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TODAY’S WOMAN


todayswomannow.com / facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow

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All About the Texture Emilee Ruxer knew Ellie Mae was the dog for her when she saw a photo of her with her Goldendoodle siblings. “I found Ellie Mae through a breeder in Ohio,” Emilee says. She sent me a picture of all the dogs available. They were all in line, except one was in the back by the water bowl, so I said I wanted her.” ANTICS: “She will take my Pure Barre socks out of my purse and play with them.” Emilee is a Pure Barre instructor and pediatric nurse at Norton Suburban. TREATS: “She loves raspberry ice cream and pup cups from Starbucks.”

EMILEE IS WEARING: Dress by Gianni Bini $149;

Shoes by Vince Camuto, $169; Necklace by Natasha, $48; Earrings by Kate Spade, $48; Ring by Kate Spade, $98, Dillard’s, 500 Shelbyville Rd., 502.893.4400.

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TODAY’S WOMAN


todayswomannow.com / facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow

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Tony Renfro’s Hair Studio $50 Valentine’s Day Special, includes color, cut & style 20+ years Master Stylist Tony Renfro can give you that glamorous look this season. Schedule now and get going with your Valentine’s Day pizzazz! Located In Sola Salons (corner of Hurstbourne & Westport) 2809 N. Hurstbourne Pkwy, 40223 502.426.3363

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LOOKS BOOK:

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L

et your lipstick be one of your main fashion accessories. Rose Leathers, makeup artist with Z Salon & Spa, shares a few quick and easy techniques for making your lips look beautiful and kissable. By TIFFANY WHITE / Photos: MELISSA DONALD / Model: ASHTON JOHNSTON Step-By-Step 1. P rep lips with lip balm. You need to make sure the lips look smooth and hydrated before applying lipstick. The balm also acts as a primer, which helps your lip color last longer. If you would like to exfoliate first, coat a clean mascara wand with lip balm and brush it across your lips.

3. Fill in your lips using the liner. This adds more longevity to your lipstick.

4. U  sing a lip brush, blend out the lip liner a bit to

make it look flawless. When selecting a lip brush, Leathers suggests choosing one with bristles that are made from taklone fibers. “Taklone fibers are best because they don’t absorb the product, unlike animal or natural hair fibers,” she says.

2. Line lips with lip liner. Start from the outer

corners of the mouth and work your way in toward the center of the lips. This keeps you from drawing crooked lines, Leathers says.

NEWEST TRENDS

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2015

lip brush.

Wine and burgundy shades are today’s top picks for lip color. “The Pantone color for 2015 is called Marsala, which is a rich burgundy,” Leathers says. “It’s a modern play on the classic bold lip with rich burgundy tones, which makes it sexier.” Matte lipsticks are also popular, but if you don’t have a matte shade, you can recreate the look by applying liner over your lipstick.

omen who have thinner lips, Leathers says, shouldn’t wear darker colors because they make the lips look smaller. Instead, she suggests putting a dab of lip gloss on the center of the lips after applying lipstick for an enlarging effect. If you have full lips, select a concealer that matches your skin tone and apply it to your lips. The concealer covers the pigment of the lip line, which makes it easier to change the appearance of the lips. Using a lip liner, draw inside the lip line to make the lips appear smaller and finish with lipstick. Or, wear a nude shade as the main lip color.

42

5. Apply lip color over the liner using the

Age Guide In Your 20s

“Anything goes. People are even doing dark colors or the nude lip,” Leathers says. You can wear bright lip colors in classic red, pink, tangerine, or coral shades. These colors are great for all skin tones.

In Your 30s

Leathers says women in their 30s can wear the same looks as those in their 20s, which includes the ombre lip. This type of lip color involves using a gradation of color that fades from dark to light.

In Your 40s and 50s

At these ages, lip color starts to bleed into the fine lines on your lips. “After you apply lip color, re-apply concealer outside of the lip line, and then set the concealer with powder,” Leathers advises. “It acts as a barrier, and the powder will not allow any of the lipstick to get into the fine lines.”

In Your 60s

“Lips start thinning,” Leathers says. “Always keep in mind that brighter colors are better to make the lips appear fuller. Don’t go too dark because it will age you and make your lips look thinner.”

TODAY’S WOMAN


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WellnessWatch

By TORIE TEMPLE

How Stressed Are You?

D

aily stresses are inevitable, but how we handle those stresses can predict our quality of life. Take the quiz to assess your stress level and get expert advice on how to live a less stressful life from licensed clinical social worker Melissa Johnson with Breckenridge Counseling Center and local marriage and family therapist Jane Owens. 1. Driving in rush hour traffic is often a time to go on a road rage rampage. 1 Point – Does not apply to me 2 Points – Applies to me some of the time 3 Points – Applies to me most of the time 4 Points – Applies to me all the time 2. The word “no” doesn’t seem to be a part of your vocabulary even when your schedule is full. 1 Point – Does not apply to me 2 Points – Applies to me some of the time 3 Points – Applies to me most of the time 4 Points – Applies to me all the time 3. I do not have a close friend or relative to vent to at least once a week. 1 Point –Does not apply to me 2 Points – Applies to me some of the time 3 Points – Applies to me most of the time 4 Points – Applies to me all the time 4. I have trouble accomplishing my daily goals, including getting the milk before it snows. 1 Point – Does not apply to me 2 Points – Applies to me some of the time 3 Points – Applies to me most of the time 4 Points – Applies to me all the time 5. It is hard to fit exercise into my daily routine. 1 Point – Does not apply to me 2 Points – Applies to me some of the time 3 Points – Applies to me most of the time 4 Points – Applies to me all the time 6. Taking time for myself only happens when everyone in the house is asleep. 1 Point – Does not apply to me 2 Points – Applies to me some of the time 3 Points – Applies to me most of the time 4 Points – Applies to me all the time 44 FEBRUARY 2015

Score: 8 or below LOW STRESS Stress doesn’t seem to be a large factor in your life. Continue your healthy habits for managing stress, keep your support system close at hand, and try to remember to stay in the moment. “Stress is a part of everybody’s life, but try to recognize the stressors in your life and continue to manage them,” Owen says. “Staying connected to friends and family is a good strategy for managing stress as well as being in the moment. Don’t worry about the past or the future, just be present.” Score: 9-16 MODERATE STRESS Feeling stressed seems to show up consistently in your life. “Listen to yourself and find your indicator when you are feeling overwhelmed in order to manage stress before it becomes too much,” says Johnson. “Write down your thoughts and feelings to get down to the true meaning of your stress. Also, watch the critical voices in your head. Instead, make a gratitude list and give yourself credit for everything you have completed.” Score: 17-24 HIGH STRESS Chronic stress can cause major medical issues, so it is important to seek professional help when dealing with overwhelming stress. “People who are experiencing stress that is causing major medical problems need to seek professional help either through a medical or mental health professional,” Johnson says. “A mental health professional can help sort out how you got to this point and go down deeper to heal some of those issues.” SOURCE: Jane Owens LMFT, janeowensfamilytherapy.com; Melissa Johnson LCSW, breckenridgecounseling.com

TODAY’S WOMAN


todayswomannow.com / facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow

2015

FEBRUARY

45


*

In relationships…play…community

4

DEAR WRITER B

By MARY ELLEN BIANCO

efore she even began, Kimberly Crum told herself she could own a business — and that her passion was worth the risk. “I had a friend design a business card for me before I even had a business,” says the now-owner and instructor at Kimberly Crum Shape and Flow Writing Services is the owner and instructor at at the Mellwood Arts Center. Shape and Flow Kimberly has taught Writing Services writing and literature at at the Mellwood Arts Center. Spalding University for 12 years. She also has a master’s in social work and is an adjunct faculty member in the School of Social Work at Spalding. “People would ask me why I quit doing social work,” Kimberly says. “But it’s the same thing as writing — listening to people’s stories and using the power of observation.” Kimberly specializes in essay, creative nonfiction, and storytelling. In memoir writing classes, she sees writers of all ages sharing huge parts of their lives. It wasn’t until Kimberly got her first rejection letter that she considered herself a writer; the letter began with Dear Writer. “I call them regret letters rather than rejection letters,” Kimberly says. “I’m actively seeking regrets. It gives me motivation to send things in.” Kimberly describes writing as a solitary experience, and she’s not a solitary person, Attend one which is a challenge. of Kimberly’s “I have to make myself Workshops sit down to write,” she says. “When I get to my A six-week workshop entitled studio, I work.” Writing from Life: Memoir & Personal Essay will begin In addition to owning February 9. Shape and Flow Writing Services, Kimberly is On the second Saturday of president of the Board for each month, small group workshops are available. Louisville Literary Arts February 14 is The Web Blog and helps coordinate as a Writing Platform and the annual Writer’s on March 14 it’s Creating Block Festival. “I like Interesting Characters. leadership and always Find more information at have,” she says. But she’s safws.com or email Kimberly at planning to cut back kimberly.g.crum@gmail.com on volunteering to keep growing her business and hopes to get enough essays published to compile into a book. “I love writing,” Kimberly says. “I don’t want to quit writing to be a writing teacher.”

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STRATEGIES

for opening your heart By BOB MUELLER

I

have the privilege of officiating at many weddings. The challenge at the wedding ceremony is to always add a few personal words of inspiration, words the couple and those attending will remember. I often recommend the following strategies for opening up our hearts to one another. These strategies can be applied to any true relationship.

M

1 Lighten up. Laugh a lot. Humor is a set of survival skills that relieve tension, keeping us fluid and flexible instead of rigid and breakable in the face of relentless change. Play and be silly. Have the ability to see the absurdity of life amidst your greatest fears.

M

2 Be generous. One friend told me that marriage is “a competition of generosity.” Regularly express love, support, and positive feedback. Give freely to one another. Don’t be stingy or withholding.

M

3 Stay flexible and patient. Don’t polarize into “I’m right, you’re wrong.” Have a cooperative attitude. If you notice you’re getting overly controlling or pushy, take a breath for at least a few minutes. Be willing to give a little and reach a middle ground. A doctor once told me, “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.”

M

4 Be willing to live with uncertainty. Some things take time to resolve. Life just isn’t all black or white — it’s mostly gray. Have faith that both you and the universe will find the answers. BOB MUELLER is Vice President of Development at Hosparus. www.bobmueller.org

“My husband and I have been married for almost five years. Our marriage is stable in every way except in the area of finances. We live from paycheck to paycheck. My husband is determined we are going to get debt-free, and I would like to see that happen, but I find some of his demands unreasonable. For example, he doesn’t want me to purchase makeup or get my hair cut, and he wants me to clean everything with water and vinegar rather than buying my standard cleaning supplies. It’s the first time in our marriage we have had arguments, and now it seems we argue almost daily. Is there some way to compromise and save our marriage?”

Q:

Find the

JUST ASK JOYCE

PASSIONS

A: at TodaysWomanNow.com TODAY’S WOMAN


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TODAY’S WOMAN


BEFORE YOU

GO

By TIFFANY WHITE Photo by MELISSA DONALD

NAME: Katherine Jury AGE: 23 JOB: Painter and Photographer, KatherineJury.com LIVES IN: Highlands Art has become the center of Katherine Jury’s life — and a medium for sharing her aesthetic perspective. Starting at 9 o’clock every morning, Katherine works feverishly inside her studio located in Pewee Valley. It is the workstation of KatherineJury.com, an online fine arts business where she creates original paintings, art prints, and custom designs for accessories including scarves and iPhone cases. Katherine, who studied art history at Western Kentucky University and attended the University of Louisville Hite Art Institute, says she realized she could have the best of both worlds by turning her love of art into a business. But Katherine’s greatest skill is her ability to make all of her talents and hobbies work well together. Travel photography is another facet of the business that she uses as inspiration for her paintings. “Recently, I went to Scotland, England, Ireland, and France,” she says. “The traveling allows for learning about myself, design, and culture. A lot of that fuels what I create.” In her free time, Katherine enjoys exploring the city and eating breakfast with friends at the Wiltshire Pantry. FASHION SHE’S WEARING: “ I tend to be more simplistic. I love gray, white, cream, and neutrals with pops of color. My favorite stores are Madewell, Anthropologie, J Crew, and Ann Taylor Loft.”

Before I Go...

“I always say ‘I love you’ to my husband, Tyler, and give my dogs a hug. And hope I am able to find my car keys.” 50

FEBRUARY

2015

PRODUCTS SHE’S LOVING: “Neutrogena Revitalizing Lip Balm in Sunny Berry. It is a chapstick/lipstick combo that is very light and natural like chapstick but not as harsh as lipstick.” TODAY’S WOMAN


Today's Woman February 2015  

For the Love of You — With all the red hearts and chocolates everywhere you look, many of us consider how to express love and affection for...

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