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July 26-August 1 2010 Issue 1404 tntmagazine.com
IEN W -DAY IV F A
TRIP TOEST F OKTOBER
TIME FOR TIESTO Superstar DJ plays London
GLITZ AND GLAMOUR The sexy side of Paris
FESTIVAL OF LAUGHS
£1 where sold
Our top comics storm Edinburgh
DRINK TO IT
Party on at Oktoberfest
+ JOBS ■ SPORT ■ LONDON ■ NEWS ■ CINEMA ■ FREIGHT
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this week July 26-August 1 / Issue 1404 Free every Monday tntmagazine.com
Front Cover: Reuters
EDITOR’S LETTER If you reckon too much beer is never enough then a trip to Munich’s Oktoberfest will be your version of heaven. For the low down on the world’s biggest drinking extravaganza check out our feature on page 74. Meanwhile, don’t miss Rebecca Kent’s cracking yarn on page 10 about three quirky London characters who personify the colour and diversity of this great city.
74 Get the beers in at Oktoberfest
57 Global Vision 58 IN THE PICTURE: Discover Derry’s past through its murals 60 Late Deals 63 TNTT Weekender: Malta 64 CITY OF TIGHTS: Paris’s edgy side is waiting to be explored 66 Hotshots 68 Travel Tips 69 Travel News 70 On The Road 73 Top Five 74 BEER WE GO: Immerse yourself in the craziness of Oktoberfest
8 LONDON 8 London Life 10 ‘I DID IT MY WAY’: Meet three blokes who epitomise London life 12 Food & Drink 14 Spotted 16 Silly Buggers
19 ENTERTAINMENT 19 20 21 22
Celebrity News TNT Life Look Who’s Talking: Tiësto FAMILY MATTERS: Actress-turneddirector Rachel Ward on her new film 24 Cinema 25 Culture 26 FRINGE BENEFITS: Aussie newcomer Sam Simmons hits Edinburgh
28 MUSIC & CLUBS 28 32 34 35
Music Music Listings Clubbing Clubbing Listings
64 Can-can: anything goes in Paris
36 NEWS & SPORT 36 38 40 43 44 45 46 47 48
Australia News New Zealand News South Africa News The Week In Sport Rugby NRL AFL Cricket General
26 Have a laugh at the Edinburgh Fringe
51 CAREERS & MONEY 51 Careers 52 Money 55 Coming & Going
REGULARS 4 Letters 6 Wins 122 Desperately Seeking
21 Dutch DJ Legend: Tiësto in the hot seat
22 Too close: Director Rachel Ward’s gripping new film
EDITORIAL Editor Daniel Landon Deputy editor Samantha Baden Chief sub-editor Janine Jorgensen Subs Laura Adcock | Jahn Vannisselroy Travel editor Janine Kelso Sport editor Tom Sturrock Music editor Alison Grinter Web editor Frankie Mullin Staff writer Rebecca Kent Editorial assistant Inger Smith DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad IT manager Stephen Dann ART & PICTURES Art director Shabir Mahmood Senior Designer Astrid Breacker Designer Laura Doyle Picture editor Shila Sultana Picture researcher Laila Pacheco SALES Publishing director Jeff Perkins Classified advertising manager Jaqui Ward Key accounts Charlotte Page Classified sales exec Cameron Knapp MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing exec Danielle Tessari Marketing and events exec Christina McFarlane Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Financial controller Nick Crampton Accounts Margaret Roberts | Alexandra Buchlakova PRODUCTION Head of production Libby West Production manager Jon Cooke Production assistant Justine Mackay TNT PUBLISHING CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst Receptionist Lisa Lowe TNT Publishing Ltd Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY St Ives Web Ltd NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES AAP AP Alamy Getty Images NZPA PA Photos Photolibrary.com Pictures Colour Library Reuters Rex Features Robert Harding SAPA TNT Images
LETTER OF THE WEEK
YOUR KICKS ARE SICK I recently returned from my first Running of the Bulls experience and would like to express my disgust. People run with the bulls to show their courage, and when inside the Plaza de Toros some even show off their bravado by trying to ‘grab the bulls by the horns’. But all I witnessed was an incredible amount of disrespect, and embarrassment. I have never felt so much sadness for another living creature as I did when I saw the bulls in the ring – amid
thousands of people – being kicked and hit by hurled objects. One young Australian kicked a bull right near its face while not letting go of its horns. It was only when he was forcefully removed by several Spanish men that he finally let go.
I hope anyone who disrespected the bulls takes a long hard look at themselves because they weren’t impressing anyone. My hope is that cruel people do not ruin such a wonderful festival in years to come. Shirelle Douglas, via tntmagazine.com
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Can TNT settle a bet for me regarding dating etiquette? One of my mates – female – insists it’s an absolute dealbreaker if a guy doesn’t buy dinner on the first date. I think that’s outrageous but she believes that most girls would draw the same conclusion. Now, while I’m a thoroughly modern male, most of what I know about dating – and women, in general – has been gleaned from television. For the past 20 years I’ve been watching shows about how it’s all even-stevens, about how chicks don’t even want guys to open doors for them, let alone offer to pay for dinner. So what’s the deal? Has TV been
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I hope cruel people do “ not ruin such a wonderful festival in years to come ” peddling a feminist line of rubbish all these years? Or do chicks just want the best of both worlds? Randy, via email
➥ TNT 1403, JUL 19-25 NOT A LONELY HEART Like Greg Orr (‘Living the Dream’, TNT Letters), I love travelling on my own . But it’s amazing how people from other countries just don’t understand solo travel.
Check out Brighton – the UK’s coolest seaside city
When in Peru, I lost count of the number of guys who asked me: “Why are you alone, why aren’t you married?” I’m only 25 for Pete’s sake! Even in Las Vegas, I got the same treatment when I went to a restaurant one night. The waiter looked at me with pity and said: “Would you like me to try and sit you with somebody else?” Er, no thanks – I like my own company just fine. Grrr. Jessica, Islington
We talk to comic Arj Barker about the Edinburgh Fringe
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WHAT WOMEN WANT
YOUR SAY ➥ TNT 1403, JUL 19-25 COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS The crackdown on immigration from countries outside of the EU (‘To cap it all’) should serve as a reminder to all of us foreigners, by whatever means we are eligible to be in the UK, what a privilege it is to be able to live and work in London – one of the greatest metropolises in the world. Within a year, thousands of our mates just won’t get the opportunity to make the leaps and bounds in their professional, social and personal lives that we have by being here. So, as worn a catchphrase as it is, make the most of it. Sarah, via email
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TICKET OUTTA HERE This is my first summer living in the UK and despite its abysmal effort at sunshine, it’s good to find that beaches like Brighton are close by. The stickler is the scandalous price of train tickets. I can’t really justify a £30 round-trip just to sit on a strip of pebbles and it’s impossible to dodge the ticket inspectors, so I’m not sure what the options are. Has anyone tried hitching? Too dangerous? Looking for some lift-share ideas or something … I’ll buy you an ice-cream!
Kate, via email
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AN OKTOBERFEST TRIP FOR TWO TNTT and Busabout have teamed up to offer one lucky reader and a mate the chance to experience Oktoberfest, Europe’s biggest beerfest. Not only will you stay in Munich and celebrate at Oktoberfest, you’ll also get to spend one night in Stuttgart to enjoy Volksfest – a lesser -known beerfest that is a far more ‘German’ and traditional experience. The trip, worth £499 per person, includes flights from London to Munich on October 1, returning on October 5. Enter at tntmagazine.com/ competitions.
» See busabout.com/ oktoberfest
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WHAT’S ON Tom Sturrock PICKS THE BEST OF LONDON THIS WEEK
CIRQUE DU SOLEIL – SALTIMBANCO FROM £40 WHAT: It’s hard to describe exactly what goes on at a Cirque du Soleil performance; suffice to say that it’s a tripped-out mixture of circus acts and performance art, fusing loopy narrative with pared-back observations about the real world. WHEN: July 28 – August 1. DO IT BECAUSE: Basically, it’s unlike any circus you’ve ever been to before – you won’t forget it and Saltimbanco is one of the troupe’s most successful shows, having toured worldwide since 1992. Colourful, mind-bending and spectacular. Worth a look.
Wembley Arena, Empire Way, HA9 0DH (cirquedusoleil.com).
Capital idea: The Clink Museum The Clink is believed to be England’s oldest prison, functioning from the 12th century through to 1780. It housed its share of troublemakers and although ne’er-do-wells no longer occupy the cells, the museum erected on the site gives an evocative illustration of what London’s criminal underbelly must have been like. Indeed, back when this part of London was teeming with unwashed masses, the Clink was a permanent warning for what might happen
LONDON BY NUMBERS
BUCKINGHAM PALACE SUMMER OPENING £15
SUMMER SCREEN AT SOMERSET HOUSE £20
Us commoners can stroll through the royal residence. But, be warned, if you get caught stealing fabergé eggs, you won’t be welcome back.
It’s possibly London’s most popular open-air film event, and this year’s programme has a great mix of action, comedy and adventure.
» Buckingham Palace,
» Somerset House, Strand,
Buckingham Palace Road, SW1A 1AA Victoria (royal.gov.uk). Aug 1-Sep 28
WC2R 1LA Temple (somersethouse.org.uk). Jul 30-Aug 8
» 1 Clink Street, SE1 9DG London Bridge (clink.co.uk). £5 GREAT FOR: HISTORY BUFFS
BRITAIN EXPLAINED BRITAIN’S ‘DROUGHT’ On this grey-skied island where rain and drizzle are ever-present, it seems inconceivable that parts of the country are in drought. But that’s exactly what’s happening in the north-west of England, where seven million people, including residents of Liverpool and Manchester, have been banned from using
hoses to water their gardens. Other parts of the country, including Wales and southern Scotland, are also facing water shortages.
So surely this shows up some pretty serious deficiencies in how the UK manages its water stocks? However, the UK has just had its second-driest first six months of a year in a century. And, contrary to popular belief, overall rainfall in the UK isn’t that high. London, for example, averages 593mm of rain a year, about half as much as Sydney and Auckland. DANIEL LANDON
The Royal Collection (c) 2009
Percentage reduction in central London traffic since the congestion charge
to anyone caught disturbing the peace or, God forbid, failing to observe the stateprescribed religion of the day. Amid the hustle and bustle of 21st-century London, it’s easy to forget how many times this city has recreated itself and the Clink Museum serves as a reminder that London is really, really old. TOM STURROCK
SUNDAY AUGUST 1ST CARNAVAL DEL PUEBLO FREE
LOCKSTOCK FESTIVAL FREE
This celebration of all things Latin American is in its 11th year and promises to be better than ever, with more than 100,000 expected to ogle floats and performers.
Unlike the Camden Crawl, Lockstock is free, with the area’s best-known venues opening their doors for a day of live music, comedy and art exhibitions. A great excuse for a big one in Camden.
» Burgess Park, Albany Rd, SE5 0RJ Kennington (carnaval delpueblo.co.uk). Aug 1
GIGALUM SUNDAYS just get bigger and bigger! And the party starts early, so get down by 6pm if you want to avoid the queue.
» Around Camden Lock, NW1 8AB Camden Town (dingwalls.com). Jul 29
Also coming up soon:
Getty Images, TNT Images
THIS IS REGGIE WATTS £15 The boisterous Brooklyn-born comedian is hard to pigeonhole. He’s got a good line in off-the-cuff patter, but his real selling point is his talent as a musician – that’s what makes his show genuinely unique.
FRANCIS ALYS AT TATE MODERN £10 Belgian-born, but now living in Mexico, Alys tackles some diverse subjects using a range of different media; it’s exactly the kind of exhibition the Tate does exceptionally well.
» Bloomsbury Theatre,
» Tate Modern, Bankside,
15 Gordon Street, WC1H 0AH Euston (thebloomsbury.com). Jul 29-31
Waterloo SE1 9TG (tate.org.uk/modern). Until Sep 5
TOOLROOM KNIGHTS SEB FONTAINE UTAH SAINTS And it’s STILL FREE ENTRY!! See
www.gigalum.com for details Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Tel: 0208 772 0303 7/8 Cavendish Parade Clapham South London SW4 9DW. 100 metres from Clapham South Tube
y m t i d i d ‘I
way’ TNT talks to three streetsmart London blokes who have survived using their wits, talent and a bit of luck WORDS REBECCA KENT
punk, a tailor of tweed and a roguish Soho market stall owner – these are three characters who embody the diverse spirit of London.
DAVE FERGUSSON, 49: THE ETERNAL PUNK A shock of pink hair and dishevelled appearance are the physical remnants of Fergusson’s hey day. Teamed with his music knowledge of the late ‘70s, and the fondness with which he recalls it, it’s not hard to believe that the father-ofone was an anarchic, safety pin-clasped King’s Road-loitering renegade punk. After all, you don’t second guess someone who owns the original Sex Pistols bootleg, Spunk, and has a penchant for punk bad boy Sid Vicious. ‘’I used to wear a padlock and chains even before he did, and razor blades all over my clothes, but my girlfriend hated that she would get cut when she put her arms around me.’’ Ouch. Fergusson appears a darn sight more approachable than his former self, when, as a youth he donned bondage and tartan and accessorised with tampons dipped in red dye. Living mostly in squats, he only ever had one job, as a street sweeper, but was happy “to tell the old biddies how I got my hair pink’’. Given the era was all about the music, there’s a veritable glint in Fergusson’s eye when asked to recall a memorable gig: “The Adverts at the Marquee when Rat Scabies got beat up by the audience. It was good, raw energy back then.’’
Laila Pacheco / TNT Images
NORMAN WILSON, 51: THE SOHO FRUIT AND VEG STALL OWNER Darting from one end of his fruit stall to the other, Wilson’s longer in the tooth and more furrowed in the face than his fellow stallholders at Soho’s gritty Berwick Street market, but he moves the fastest and he’s got some pacy quips to match: ‘’You coulda been anyone, love. Thought you were the police. Got handcuffs in your bag? C’mon, I like the handcuffs. I’m not looking for a relationship, just a night, love.’’ Having peddled a lush array of produce for 35 years, the cockney old-timer embodies a ruggedness that is evaporating in Soho thanks to a council intent on making it over. His chequered past includes time in the nick for roughing up a punter in a pub, but it’s easy to have a soft spot for this rogue, who begged for his job after abandoning a previous career of ‘’thief and burglar, ducking and diving from the police’’. But don’t judge him. “We get some customers who think just because you work in the gutter, you belong there, but I treat everyone with respect, especially the birds with short skirts and low tops. I’m only little, so the lower the better.’’
DAVID SAXBY, 61: THE TWEED TAILOR Saxby is the only remaining UK manufacturer of the quintessentially British tweed suit. Mainly dividing his time between his Ipswich factory and Fulham shop, Saxby also plies a profitable trade in his Tokyo store, where in winter the discerning Japanese eschew ‘’made up pastiche Ralph Lauren-type garments’’ and dig the authenticity of tweed. With his London shop in the heart of Sloane Ranger neighbourhood, many of Saxby’s customers are, as you’d expect, a gentrified lot, as traditionally befits wearers of tweed. But there’s always exceptions to the rule. ”Some of my customers could be described as ‘eccentrics’,’’ says Saxby. “I obviously have quite a lot of people from show business, but my favourites are the young army officers – they tend to stand up straight and make the clothes look good.’’ With Scotland’s weaving trade muscled out by an influx of Primarkpriced garments, a doff of the cap must go to Saxby for keeping tradition alive. ‘’I wear tweed at every opportunity. It’s never in fashion or out of fashion, it’s just about quality and good taste. Fashion is landfill, style is forever.’’
FOOD & DRINK
BAR REVIEW Devonshire Arms ★★★★★
37 Marloes Rd, W8 6LA Earl’s Court
THE SCENE With distressed wooden tables, mismatched chairs and quirky art on the walls, this is a classic neighbourhood boozer dressed in gastropub clothing. The added bonus of a cracking
beer garden out the front makes it a super pub for a sunny day. THE GRUB Reliable mains, sharing plates and lighter options too – I can’t go past the fish finger sarnie. There’s also a regular barbie set up in the beer garden during the summer. BEHIND THE BAR Extensive range of draught beers and
ciders, there’s also a great wine selection plus jugs of Pimm’s and sangria during the summer. BILL PLEASE Light lunch and a glass of wine for under a tenner. VERDICT Nab a seat outside in the sunshine and you’ll quickly find you’re in pub lunch heaven. SAMANTHA BADEN
make mine a real ale
A beer’s a beer, right? Well, not necessarily. Most of us probably stick to lager even though Britain does cracking pale ale, bitter and stout. Not sure what that is? Read on and then go and try some out at the Great British Beer Festival.
GREAT BOOZERS Bricklayers Arms
REAL ALE The term ‘real ale’ was coined in 1970 by the Campaign For Real Ale (Camra) to distinguish between processed beers and traditional beers. Real Ale is brewed from natural ingredients and ferments in the cask. Try it: Greene King IPA, An Teallach Crofter’s Pale Ale. Flavours: citrus, spicy, pepper.
BITTER Bitter derived from pale ale in the later 19th century, but was darker in colour from the crystal malts used. Today it’s a term that also describes a pale ale. Bitter comes in
different strengths: Best Bitter, Special Bitter, Extra Special Bitter and Premium Bitter. Try it: Harvey’s Sussex Best Bitter, Boddingtons, Young’s, Adnams. Flavours: bitter, spicy, nutty. PORTER AND STOUT Porter is a dark-brown or black beer that’s made from a combination of brown ale, pale ale and stale (matured) ale. Arthur Guinness famously
brewed his own version called Dry Irish Stout. Try it: Stout is often classified as bitter or sweet. Guinness is a dry stout. Stout can be flavoured with chocolate, fruit and coffee. Flavours: raisin fruit, coffee, liquorice flavours.
» The Great British Beer Festival, Earl’s Court SW5 9TA Earl’s Court (gbbf.org.uk) August 3-7. Day tickets from £10
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0RKDZN6SXU Southside Shopping Centre, Wandsworth. Tel: 0208 874 0831
The Albert NW1 8JR A cracking Victorian boozer without the attitude that often tags along with a Primrose Hill address. The huge beer garden out the back is a winner.
The George SE1 1NH London’s only surviving galleried coaching inn, The George oozes history. It’s also pretty strong when it comes to ales.
Getty Images, TNT Images
SW15 1DD Campaign For Real Ale (Camra) named this Putney boozer their London pub of the year in 2009. The Bricklayers take their tipples mighty seriously and boast a number of artisan ales.
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POPCORN NIGHT AT HEAVEN Under the Arches, London, Sun, Jul 18 Photos by: Marek Sikora/ TNT Images
O L O P L A N I N T E R N AT I O
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I find I can’t fully commit to relationships with women. I’ll see a girl for a few months and then either sabotage it or just move on. How can I change?
Are you sure you’re not gay? Whenever a guy has broken up with me, it’s because he’s been gay. Stefan, a guy I dated in school, dumped me at our formal. He said he liked men, which was weird because he hooked up with Vanessa Blainey at the after-party. I’ve been with guys who were still closeted but, having been gun-barrel straight all
TOOL OF THE WEEK The homestay cuckold
and ended up doing a stint in Chechnya’s notorious Chernokozovo prison colony. In that part of the world, criminals’ entire lives are related via their tatts: a crucifix marks a man as a thief, spiders identify drug addicts and bulls are the symbols of pimps. When I got out of that hellhole, I realised that we are defined as much by that which we cannot leave behind as by all that we choose to carry with us. You should accept that you cannot escape your nature.
» Got a sex or relationship dilemma? Email dearreuben @tntmagazine.com
THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES
PUT JACKIE CHAN THROUGH HIS PACES AFTER REPLACING JONATHAN ROSS BEHIND HIS FAMOUS DESK
TNT Images, Brian J. Ritchie/Hotsauce/Rex Features
An Auckland man has called on the Education Ministry to issue guidelines on sexual matters after catching his 45-year-old wife bonking a teenage foreign student the couple were hosting. The man rang police after his wife’s encounter with the 19-year-old South American, but was told they were powerless to help as the student was legally an adult. Mate, you’re wife shagged a teenager living in your house. Suck it up and stop trying to get the government to do your own sex counselling.
I was employed by their lives, turned as soon as a private security we broke up. I’m proud to say I was the last woman they ever company back in the ‘90s; we slept with. One you’ve climbed were responsible for protecting Everest, molehills don’t inspire. the oil being pumped out of the Caucasus, under the Black I’ve also been with secret Sea and into the nerve centre gays who kept seeing girls of the crumbling Soviet Union. after we broke up. Any redI wasn’t the muscle – it blooded man would mortgage was my job his prostate for to persuade a night with the natives me; ergo, they that they didn’t were gay. in fact want Like those control of their guys, maybe own resources. you can’t keep Anyway, I got a good woman into a little bit happy because of trouble you like men. Stefa n liked men downtown Suck it and see.
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STAR SPOTTING Inger Smith WITH THE LATEST FROM THE WORLD OF SHOWBIZ
BLOOMING LOVE: It’s life in the fast lane for Aussie model Miranda Kerr and actor Orlando Bloom. Only a month after announcing their engagement, the pair have now married in secret. The mayor of Gunnedah, Kerr’s hometown, may be disappointed that they didn’t take up his offer of a town wedding with a street parade and brass band, but Kerr’s grandmother, Ann Kerr, will be pleased. “They are good together; they laugh and giggle. He’s very attentive to Miranda,” she told the Daily Telegraph.
A GOOD WEEK FOR
She might be behind bars but on release Lindsay Lohan will be coining it. The night before the Just My Luck actress went into jail, she finalised news deals likely to net her seven figures. Jail house rocks, hey Lilo?!!
A BAD WEEK FOR
Express Yourself singer Madonna is furious with her staff after they threw a hefty karaoke party at her flat while she was away. The noise police have given Madge an official warning.
A LUSTFUL LABOUR Having a romance in the workplace can be a little tricky. But for the lead actors of TV show True Blood, Anna Paquin and fiancé Stephen Moyer, some serious snogging in front of their workmates is all part of the daily grind.
The Oscar-winning Kiwi actress and her British beau got the hots for each other while filming the pilot for the vampire series in 2008, and the couple have shared plenty of steamy sex scenes since.
Some may say you shouldn’t bring your personal life to work but what happens when you’re in a relationship with your partner both on and off the screen? “Everybody on set now gets to see what goes on behind closed doors. We leave nothing to the imagination,” Moyer told Redbook magazine. It must be such a hard life getting paid for frolicking with your lover during working hours.
”[I was] like a teenage girl getting crazy and screaming like that” Actor Javier Bardem reveals how he felt when meeting Brad Pitt
Woman’s Weekly: Mike Hosking and Kate Hawkesby have finally gone public with their ‘secret’ romance, and talk about their engagement. New Idea: Fair Go host Kevin Milne on daughter Tommie; plus meet the sisters whose dad paid for their boob jobs.
AUSTRALIA New Idea: Greg Norman’s family hits back after the media attacks by his ex-wives, and reveals why new love Kirsten Kutner is the one; plus singer Tamara Jaber speaks out about her split from Kyle Sandilands.Woman’s Day: Magda Szubanski (Sharon in Kath & Kim) has dropped five dress sizes and feels like a supermodel.
SOUTH AFRICA You: Brazilian Bafana Bafana coach Carlos Parreira talks about his love for the Rainbow Nation, plus full coverage of the month of World Cup madness. This issue also covers South Africa’s shameful xenophobia problems, speaking to youngsters about the hatred; plus Lindsay Lohan’s selfdestructive downfall.
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TNT LIFE ENTERTAINMENT
TNT TRAVEL WRITING AND PHOTOGRAPHY AWARDS 2010 Capture your moments on the road and enter TNT’s Travel Writing and Photography Awards 2010 for the chance to win some fantastic prizes. This year’s categories for the photography awards are People and Places, The Natural World, Your London and Readers’ Choice. All winners will receive an Olympus EP1 camera with double zoom kit. The winner of the writing award gets a three-day Italian adventure for two people, plus Busabout Flexitrip
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» Competition closes on Mon, Aug 16. See tntmagazine.com/twpa
SPOTLIGHT ON TAKE A TEFL COURSE Where in the world is your dream job? Teach English as a foreign language and find out. No experience needed, just take TNT’s TEFL weekend course and earn a certificate
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» TNT offices, Child’s Pl, SW5 9RX Earl’s Court. Jul 31-Aug 1 or Aug 7-8. £130. See tntmagazine.com/tefl
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Looking for a wicked night out on the town? With TNT’s brand new ticketing service giving you some of the best West End plays and musicals for a bargain deal, we say it’s show time! Prices start below £20, so whether you want to laugh at the wacky puppets in Avenue Q or wave your lighter at We Will Rock You, go online and get your tickets now. » See tntmagazine.com/theatre
passes around Europe. The Readers’ Choice winner will also get two Flexitrip passes courtesy of Busabout.
LOOK WHO’S TALKING ENTERTAINMENT
Tiësto The Dutch superstar DJ on rumours of his death, life on the road and playing to a Spanish crowd straight after Holland’s World Cup defeat INTERVIEW NATASHA VUCKOVIC So, apparently you’re dead.
You called me in heaven, right? What’s it like up there?
It’s pretty amazing. I’m not going to lie [laughs]. Yeah, the death rumours come back every two years [reports earlier this month claimed Tiësto died in a car crash].
already huge but I think they’ll be even bigger next year.
played out and the new generation doesn’t really care about it.
If you weren’t a superstar DJ, what would you be doing?
What’s the biggest diva moment you’ve seen from another DJ?
Either working in the music business, maybe a road manager or tour manager, or I would work in a restaurant. I like to cook, so hopefully I could be a chef.
I hear stories from other promoters. One promoter got a really nice hotel suite but the DJ didn’t like the furniture and wanted to change hotels. [The promoter] had to spend half a day finding a different hotel. I’ve stayed in that room, it was pretty nice.
How did you find out about it?
Through Twitter. Everyone was sending messages like ‘Dude, you’re dead. What happened?’. It was something negative but it gave me something positive because so many people sent me love messages.
Nowadays, I “ barely see anyone off their head ” You live something of a vampire existence, awake in clubs all night. Do you ever get sick of it?
No, actually I don’t get sick of it at all. It’s a very glamorous life, you meet amazing people, you get to play music and every night is always different. Do you ever forget which city you’re in?
I always know which city I’m in but sometimes I forget what time it is. I’ll go to bed at six in the evening for a power nap and when I wake up I often think it’s the morning and I’m like ‘Oh shit, I missed my gig’. You’ve got Pendulum playing at your upcoming show in Victoria Park. Why did you choose them?
I wanted to do something different in the line-up and I love Pendulum – their sound is very fresh. They’re
Clubbing is known for its drug scene. Have you seen much in terms of excess?
I think if you were to say ‘Clubbing is drug related’ five years ago, then yes. Nowadays, I barely see anybody off their head; people get wasted on alcohol, which is maybe the same thing, but I don’t see that many drugs anymore. It’s getting
Who’s the nicest name in dance music?
I really like the boys from the Swedish House Mafia. They are very nice guys – very humble and all very talented. Commiserations on Holland’s defeat in the World Cup final. What were your thoughts?
I think Holland played really bad and Spain played really bad too. But I’m so bummed. I really thought this was going to be the year of Holland. Then I had to play in Marbella after we lost, to a Spanish crowd with flags everywhere and they’re all partying to my music. It was pure torture [laughs].
» At Victoria Park, Grove Rd, E3 5SN Bethnal Green (ticketmaster.co.uk). Fri, Jul 30. £44.
YOU DON’T SAY? What’s in your pockets right now? [Pauses] I’m sitting here in my underwear, so … Biggest phobia What is a phobia? … I guess it’s not in my vocabulary so I’m not afraid of anything. Who would play you in a film of your life? Either John Travolta, Benicio Del Toro or Johnny Depp.
Family Matters Hollywood actress-turned-director Rachel Ward on working with hubby Bryan Brown on her new film and her love affair with Australia WORDS ALISON GRINTER
ne of the most shocking moments in Rachel Ward’s feature-length directorial debut, Beautiful Kate, doesn’t necessarily arise from the film’s subject matter of consensual teenage incest, which, as these things go, is pretty damn shocking. No, it’s the scene where ailing patriarch Bruce Kendall, played by Ward’s husband, Bryan Brown, cries like a baby in his sleep. “No, you don’t see Bryan going there very often,” Ward tells TNT over a cup of coffee in a Fulham cafe. “I think he’s just never played roles where that’s been demanded of him. He’s always played such solid, heroic types and now he plays a loser … a very proud man who had
MORAL GREY AREAS By her own admission, Ward, now 52, has always been attracted to stories with moral grey areas, and Beautiful Kate is no exception. Based on a Newton Thornburg novel of the same name it centres on the Kendalls, a broken family unit riven with guilt and dysfunction. It opens with cocky middle-aged writer Ned Kendall (Ben Mendelsohn) returning to the family’s outback homestead to help out his sister, Sally (Rachel Griffiths), with their dying father (Brown), with trophy girlfriend (Maeve Dermody) in tow. Once there, Ned is forced to reflect on the teenage fling he enjoyed with his now deceased sister, Kate, (played in flashback by the luminous newcomer, Sophie Lowe). ”When I first read the book I read it as a passionate love story, which people have definitely taken exception to when I’ve described it as such,” she says, before adding hastily: “I could never do a father /daughter incest story.” But wasn’t she worried she might
I think actors “ are comfortable with me ”
alienate potential audiences? “I didn’t care at all about alienating audiences – only alienating funding bodies,” she says. “Bryan was always ‘Why did you have to start with such a difficult thing, couldn’t you find something a bit easier?’.”
OUTSIDER STATUS Born a proper blue-blooded Brit (she is a descendant of the third Earl of Dudley) Ward met Brown on the set of ‘80s melodrama The Thorn Birds. “That was the fun part,” she remembers. Prior to that she had a successful career as an actress in Hollywood where she shared a flat with Daryl Hannah and was voted one of the top 10 most beautiful women. But she was never comfortable being cast as eye candy and admits there were “few films I was proud
great expectations of himself [who is now] dying bitter, having lost everything.”
Ben Mendelsohn and Maeve Dermody in Beautiful Kate
to be a part of … I mean, Against All Odds! Urgggh! It was ridiculous!” In 1983 she married Brown (they have three children) and moved to Australia. “I remember so clearly what made Australia exotic to me when I first arrived: that it’s a vast, frontier country, there’s something untamed about it compared to England. Such an elemental quality about it; the landscape can kill you, literally.” It’s this outsider perspective that makes Beautiful Kate such a feast for the eyes with its lush Bill Henson-esque cinematography. “The wind sound, the bird sound, the rattle of the corrugated iron roof. I really wanted all of those elements to be very visceral in the film.”
STRONG PERFORMANCES So was it intimidating directing the cream of Australia’s acting talent, who all deliver stellar performances? “It was intimidating because very often there’s conflict on sensibility, on what they want to do and what you want to do but you need to be prepared to take them on,” she says. “As an actress I found myself much in conflict with directors so maybe as a director I’m a bit more accommodating,” she muses. “If nothing else, I’ve been praised for performances so I think actors are comfortable with me.”
» Beautiful Kate opens on July 30
‘I’m just a Bigelow’
FEMALE DIRECTORS MAKE THEIR MARK KATHRYN BIGELOW In 2010, the Point Break director became the first woman to win a best director Oscar for tense war flick The Hurt Locker.
SOFIA COPPOLA Francis Ford’s daughter made her name with atmospheric stunners such as The Virgin Suicides and Lost In Translation.
JANE CAMPION Even Hollywood schlock-merchant Quentin Tarantino loved the Kiwi director’s Keats biopic, Bright Star, saying it was her “best film yet”.
CLAIRE DENIS The legendary French director’s latest film, White Material, is currently getting rave reviews.
SAM TAYLOR-WOOD The artist turned director explored John Lennon’s Oedipal complex in Nowhere Boy and landed the 19-year-old leading man in the process. Ironic, no?
CINEMA The A-Team
SCREEN TEST: A-TEAM
Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley, Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson
RT 117 MINS
1 The A-Team were running from the military for years but the actual series ran for how many seasons? 2 Mr T pities the fool who doesn’t know his full name. What is it? 3 The smoking-hot character John ‘Hannibal’ Smith constantly smokes which brand of cigars? 4 Hannibal doesn’t just love cigars. What’s his catchphrase? 5 What do the initials in Captain H.M. Murdock’s name stand for?
In adapting The A-Team, director Joe Carnahan had the tough task of satisfying those who grew up with the TV show while also winning over a new generation of action movie fans. All in all, he does a laudable job, capturing the raucous spirit of the series while delivering enough thrilling set pieces to keep adrenalin junkies hooked. The plot, what there is of it, is ridiculous. A military unit made up of Hannibal (Neeson), Face (Cooper), BA (Jackson) and Murdock (Copley) are double-crossed in Iraq after stealing some treasury plates and sent to prison. After busting out they track down those responsible while trying to stay clear of sexy
agent Sosa (Jessica Biel). It was always going to be difficult for the new A-Team to step into the boots of the original cast and the actors have mixed success. While physically imposing, Jackson lacks the magnetism of Mr T while Neeson’s Hannibal is a tad dull. It’s left up to Cooper
and South African Copley to liven things up with humour and charm, glossing over the silly storyline in the process. Getting this team together for a second outing might not be a bad plan. GOOD FOR: Those brought up in the 1980s. PIERRE DE VILLIERS
THE REEL DEAL The house made famous in iconic Aussie flick The Castle is on the market for new tenants. The Melbourne house was home to fictional battler Darryl Kerrigan, played by Michael Caton (below), and his family. Advertised as being in the Strathmore “precinct”, the house boasts “three large-sized bedrooms, a bathroom, good-sized kitchen, meals area and sunroom at the rear”.
LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS 1 21 2 Pizza Planet 3 “To infinity and beyond” 4 Joan Cusack 5 Toy Story 2 LAST WEEK’S WINNER Linda Templeton
THE KARATE KID
★★★★★ Hollywood’s love affair with the 1980s continues with a decent remake that sees kung fu master (Jackie Chan) take a youngster (Jaden Smith) under his wing. It’s too long, but with China forming a stunning backdrop and Chan giving a moving performance, this will delight those who spent their childhood doing ‘the crane’. GOOD FOR: Karate fans. PDV
★★★★★ Comic book artist Joann Sfar chronicles the remarkable life of French singer Serge Gainsbourg (a magnificent Eric Elmosnino) in what is a compelling biopic. Scenes involving Gainsbourg’s early years are much stronger than a rather cliché-ridden climax but this is still an insightful homage to an influential artist. GOOD FOR: Those who don’t know Gainsbourg. PDV
Jasin Boland, Doug Curran, Getty Images
The director of gay zombie porn film LA Zombie says he was delighted his movie was banned from an Aussie Film Festival. “My first thought was ‘Eureka’!”
Canadian Bruce LaBruce told the Sydney Morning Herald. “I’ll never understand how censors don’t see that the more they suppress a film, the more people will want to see it. It gives me a profile I didn’t have yesterday.” LaBruce says LA Zombie should screen at the Melbourne International Film Festival because of its “artistic merit”. Festival director Richard Moore received a letter from Australian Film Classification Board director Donald McDonald, stating that LA Zombie could not be screened at the festival as it would be refused classification.
For a chance to win two tickets from Vue email answers to email@example.com by noon on Wednesday with ‘Cinema’ in the subject line.
CULTURE MORNING STAR POLES Fresh from Elcho Island, Australia, bark paintings and feathers flood the first floor of the Rebecca Hossack Gallery. This Aboriginal art, crafted just off the coast of Arnhem Land, was created to honour and communicate with the dead. Gali Yalkarriwuy Gurruwiwi and eight other Aboriginal artists have kept their tradition alive through art – using the land as their only source for supplies, they carve wood into poles and decorate them with handmade bush string and fallen cockatoo feathers. Despite being exhibited
SEE THIS: Exhibition thousands of miles from home, the island spirit stays with the art. The carved and painted Spirit Men, varying in size and shape, put a fascinating face on the artists’ heritage. ASHLEY BARFOROUSH
» Rebecca Hossack Art Gallery, 2a Conway St, Fitzroy Square, W1T 6BA Great Portland Street (020 7436 4899; r-h-g.co.uk) Until Aug 7. Free
TNT online For more reviews of events in London go to tntmagazine.com/whats_on
WORTH A LOOK Kiwi screenprint artist and photographer Jamie McLeod explores dirt and desperation in Jack Off Johnny » Dalston Superstore, Kingsland High St, E8 2PB
see Aussie Archibald Prize •Last chanceOldtoStreet. Until Jul 29. Free.
Dalston Kingsland (020 7254 2273) Until Aug 31. Free
winner Adam Cullen’s London exhibition, Iron Mask: The Ned Kelly Series » Arch 461, 83 Rivington St, EC2A 3AY
THEATRE OF THE WEEK
BOOKS OUT THIS WEEK
THE REMBRANDT AFFAIR
HEART OF TANGO
(MacLehose Press) JUL 29
(Michael Joseph) JUL 29
Diego dances a passionate tango with Natalia – on the eve of her wedding to another man. Years later their spirits dance into the lives of two strangers, creating a haunting love story.
Mark Rylance gives a five-star performance in David Hirson’s spoof in the style of 17th century French dramatist Moliere. He’s a street entertainer whose work is anathema to Elomire (Frasier’s David Hyde Pierce), the high-minded court playwright who proves little more than the foil to
Valere’s vulgarity. And Joanna Lumley has even less to do as their capricious royal patroness in this 1991 oddity, which loses its focus in a not very funny playwithin-a-play. LOUISE KINGSLEY
» Comedy, Panton St, SW1Y 4DN Piccadilly Circus (0844 871 7622; labetetheplay.com) Until Sep 4. £15-£50.
After a man and a Rembrandt go missing, spy turned art restorer Gabriel Allon is forced to pick up his gun one more time. Silva’s tale proves some paintings are literally to die for.
Manuel Harlan, Rebecca Hossack Art Gallery
ANNE FRANK: THE THE GARDEN OF BOOK, THE LIFE, THE BETRAYAL Lee Vance AFTERLIFE Francine Prose
(Corvus ) AUG 1
(Atlantic Books) AUG 1
Energy analyst Mark Wallace’s son disappears, then a state-of-the-art oil pipeline explodes. The Wall Street legend knows neither was an accident. The question is: can he prove it?
Conspiracy theorists cry fraud and others criticise Otto Frank for publishing his daughter’s work of art. Anne Frank’s story has been told many times, but never like this.
MORE STAGE Book now for all the fun, frivolity and edge of the Camden Fringe, which has more than 207 shows to choose from. So whether you’re a fan of musicals, comedy, opera, political theatre or improv you’ll find your perfect show. » Across eight separate Camden venues, NW1
Camden (camdenfringe.org) Aug 2-29. £7.50
benefits Aussie newcomer Sam Simmons is bringing his surreal comedy to Edinburgh Fringe. He tells us why heâ€™s got his sights on a career in the UK WORDS ALISON GRINTER
ALSO CHECK OUT Gobby, smart-arsey and thoughtprovoking, the 2007 Edinburgh Comedy Award winner returns with his new show.
■ ADAM HILLS – MESS AROUND Australia’s favourite stand-up is chucking the script and devoting an hour to ad-libbing with the audience.
■ JIM JEFFERIES – ALCOHOLOCAUST Sweary, edgy global comedy player from Oz plumbs the depths of depravity with tales of benders gone wrong.
Putting his Foote in it: Sam Simmons in The Urban Monkey…
ustralia’s next great comedic hope is not an affable everyman in the vein of Adam Hills. Nor is he an acerbic in-yer-face wind up merchant a la Brendon Burns. In fact, Adelaide-born Sam Simmons doesn’t do stand-up at all. Instead, his shows are mixed-media productions in which he takes childish delight in life’s absurdities. At 33, Simmons’s left field humour has been deployed to brilliant effect in his work as a presenter for the ABC’s Triple J. Google him and you’ll see a baffled Laura Marling being asked: “What’s more magical: a donkey or a prawn?” and roots singer John Butler hilariously being told during a red carpet interview at the Arias: “You’re going in the wank bank!” After his Edinburgh Fringe debut in 2009 Simmons became a word-of-mouth sensation and now, having won every comedy award going in Australia over the past year, he’ll be back in Edinburgh this summer with two new shows. The first is The Incident, a collaboration with “really obtuse, dark” Melbourne comic David Quirk. It’s a tale of forbidden bromance based on Quirk’s own experience of accidentally (on purpose?) finding himself in a man-onman embrace in a shop where he worked. “It’s pretty odd,” Simmons chuckles down the line from his home in Sydney. “We got a bit of a backlash with people who were like: ‘This is incredibly homophobic!’ But my God, if anything, it’s the opposite of homophobic: it’s a love story between two blokes, and a shop. It’s Waiting For Godot!” His second Edinburgh show, Fail, “is me counselling myself through a gameshow,” he says, as if that’s supposed to make sense. ”It’s a lot to do with everything falling apart in one day and trying to find
a joyous way out of it. I hope that doesn’t sound wanky or whimsical cos it’s not.” Simmons took an unorthodox route to comedy. He studied zoology at university and while working as a zookeeper in Melbourne and Sydney discovered a special talent for giving presentations to the public. After a stint on radio, he had the opportunity to develop his naturalist spoof TV show, The Urban Monkey With Murray Foote, with the ABC. “Or the other choice was to go off and
The other choice was to become an elephant keeper
be a fully trained elephant keeper – I’m not joking! – in Thailand, like, with the mahouts,” he laughs. Audiences tend to get his comedy absolutely or not at all. “That’s been my struggle for years. But should I try and win everyone over or win over a few who are going to be die-hard fans for life?” He might not have to grapple with this dilemma for much longer. The BBC is looking to buy The Urban Monkey, and he hopes other UK work will follow. It makes sense. His humour, which incorporates Harry Hill’s physical tics and Eddie Izzard’s surreal flights of fancy, gives him a British bent. “I just feel like I could really do something there,” he says. They’d be lucky to have him.
■ THE BROTHERS STREEP Cape Town duo make Edinburgh debut with their satirical, acoustic ouvre, which includes an ode to Anna Paquin.
■ CELIA PACQUOLA – FLYING SOLOS Described as “Adam Hills with ovaries” (how patronising!) Pacquola follows up her acclaimed 2009 set, Am I Strange?, with another stellar show.
■ COUNTING SHEEP Kiwi improv act who count The Simpson’s Nancy Cartwright as a fan.
■ TRIPOD VERSUS THE DRAGON The self-styled musical idiots from Down Under stage a lo-fi fantasy adventure.
■ JO WHARMBY – LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX Capetonian Wharmby’s outrageous true-life comedy about sleeping her way around the world.
■ MATTHEW HARDY – WILLY WONKA EXPLAINED Aussie comic Hardy stalked the ‘real’ Veruca Salt from the classic ’70s film and then wrote this show about it.
» See edfringe.com for details.
» The Incident, Assembly @ George Street, Aug 7–30. 4pm Fail, Gilded Balloon, Teviot, 9.15pm, Aug 7–30. Edinburgh (edfringe.com). “Let’s talk about sex, baby”: Jo Wharmby
■ BRENDON BURNS – Y’KNOW LOVE ’N’ GOD ’N’ METAPHYSICS ’N’ SHIT
MUSIC & CLUBS
ALBUM OF THE WEEK
Airbourne Brixton Academy, Dec 2 (0844 477 2000). £17.50 Sarah Blasko Electric Ballroom, Nov 17 (0870 264 3333). £12.50 The Cat Empire Brixton Academy, Oct 23 (0844 477 2000). £19.50
TOM JONES Praise & Blame (Universal / Island)
Apparently the vice-president of Tom Jones’s label wasn’t too pleased about this foray into gospel, blues and tradcountry by the Welsh crooner. Presumably the suit wanted some big brassy belters in the vein of Mama Told Me Not To Come. Instead Jones, now 70, seems to relish giving up the Sex Bomb act by taking a hard left into Johnny Cash
territory. On John Lee Hooker’s Burning Hell, the simplicity of the rumbling guitars paired with Jones’ throaty tenor makes for a surprisingly spinetingling combo, bringing the White Stripes to mind. Another highlight is his take on Mahalia
Jackson’s honky tonk Didn’t It Rain?, which is bouyed nicely with gospel backing vocals. Over 11 songs Praise & Blame gets a little samey, but it’s a decent stab at something different by the big man. ALISON GRINTER
ALSO OUT VANESSA AMOROSI
THE MAGIC NUMBERS
Hazardous (Island) Australia’s answer to Kelly Clarkson releases her latest clutch of guitar -pop and electro anthems.
The Runaway (Heavenly) Their third LP was made with Nick Drake’s string arranger, Robert Kirby, who died soon after.
Planet Jedward (Absolute) Ok, so they were a laff on X Factor, but do we really need a whole album from these two?
Brisbane trio Regurgitator will release their first album since their 2007 LP Love And Paranoia later this year. The band, fronted by Quan Yeomans, began work on the as yet unnamed album in a Melbourne studio earlier this year and plans to unveil the new material on an Oz tour in September.
The Kiwi man whose petition helped convince Metallica to bring their World Magnetic tour to Christchurch said he was “absolutely slaughtered” to miss out on a ticket, The Marlborough Express reported. Despite having the gumption to gather more than 11,000 signatures from the South Island to support his petition, Jamie Woods, 20, from Blenheim wasn’t quick enough to nab tickets for the two September shows, which sold out in minutes. “In the end I got what I wanted, that was for them to come down. I hope everyone
else is happy, the lucky buggers,” he blubbed. Powderfinger have chosen edgy electro songstress Bertie Blackman as the support act for their final Sydney show at the Acer Arena on November 6. The show is part of the band’s farewell tour before they officially disband.
No 1 single Love The Way You Lie, Eminem feat. Rihanna No 1 album Recovery, Eminem
No 1 single California Gurls, Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg No 1 album Recovery, Eminem
No 1 single Nothin’ On You, BOB/Bruno Mars No 1 album Angel Of My Heart, Juanita du Plessis
No 1 single Airplanes, BOB feat. Hayley Williams No 1 album Recovery, Eminem
Fat Freddy’s Drop The Troxy, Sep 9 (0870 264 3333). £27.50 Gorillaz The O2, Sep 14-15 (0844 277 4321). £45. Grinderman Hammersmith Apollo, Oct 1 (0844 844 4748). £25-£27 Hoodoo Gurus Shepherds Bush Empire, Oct 3 (0844 477 2000). £19.50. Interpol Brixton Academy, Dec 6-7 (0844 477 2000). £25 Goldfrapp Hammersmith Apollo, November 11 (0844 277 4321). £25 Kelis Shepherds Bush Empire, Oct 1 (0844 477 2000). £22.50 Ladi6 Rhythm Factory, Aug 28 (020 7375 3774). £10 Linkin Park The O2, Nov 10 (0844 856 0202). £44.50 Hugh Masekela and The Mahotella Queens Royal Festival Hall, Nov 12 (0871 663 2501). £10-£27.50 Motörhead Brixton Academy, Nov 27 (0844 477 2000). £32.50 Robyn Shepherds Bush Empire, Oct 22 (0844 477 2000). £16.50 Salmonella Dub Shepherds Bush Empire, Sep 24-25 (0844 477 2000). £20 Xavier Rudd & Izintaba Shepherds Bush Empire, Dec 6 (0844 477 2000). £18.50
OKTOBERFEST Oktoberfest Comes to London every Saturday night from the 4th September!!! • Live German Oompah Band with Oktoberfest drinking Olympics and heaps of free beer • Augustiner, Hofbrau, Lowenbrau, Paulaner, Spaten and Hacker Pschorr. The only place in the UK that serves all your favorite Oktoberfest Beers • We have a great Beerfest atmosphere just like the beerhalls in Germany • All the traditional Oktoberfest food “Pork Knuckles, Bratwurst, Pretzels” and off course the beer, all imported directly from Germany. • Our Fraulein’s (Beer Maidens) will serve you in Traditional German “Drindl” (dresses) and Steins will be overflowing with ice cold German Beer.
IN LONDON! • All major sporting events shown on a Massive Projector screen and 3 huge plasma screens. • Poker tournaments and Pool table Weekdays, Live Cover Bands every Friday night • FREE shot of German schnapps for everyone who comes dressed in Bavarian outfit
AUG AND SEPT ONLY £10 TUESDAY (any main plus a pint for £10*)
THE MOST AUTHENTIC OKTOBERFEST EXPERIENCE OUTSIDE OF MUNICH
Time Out Magazine
BOOK YOUR TABLE EARLY AS SPACES ARE LIMITED! For bookings: email firstname.lastname@example.org OR CALL 02077365293 Book a table for 10 mon-fri and receive a 5 litre table keg of Imported German Beer FREE!! *must bring this add/conditions apply
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GIG GUIDE MUSIC & CLUBS
Alison Grinter PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST LIVE MUSIC
GIG OF THE WEEK FIELD DAY: PHOENIX, THE FALL, CARIBOU, THESE NEW PURITANS PLUS MORE If Victoria Park’s grass hasn’t already been trampled into oblivion by the hordes at last week’s Lovebox, it’s unlikely to survive this latest onslaught of hedonism. Now in its fourth year the festival has expanded to six stages and brings together the cream of London’s alternative club and gig promoters to provide an impressively bleeding edge line-up. Headlining are Gallic pop sensations Phoenix (right), with support from The Fall, These New Puritans and plenty more.
» Victoria Park, Grove Rd, E3 5SN
Bethnal Green. (fielddayfestivals.com). Sat, Jul 31. £33.33.
It’s never a good sign when a band who’ve made their name as forward thinking genre-innovators (in this case nu-ravers, Klaxons) are told by their label (Polydor) to re-record their new album (Surfing the Void) because it’s “too experimental”. Is that why their new tune Echoes sound like a pale, guitars-added version of themelves?
» Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB
» Village Underground, 54 Holywell Ln, EC2A 3PQ
Tottenham Court Road, (0844 847 2465; meanfiddler.com). Mon, Jul 26. £8.50.
NEW BAND ALERT
Shoreditch High Street, (seetickets.com) Tue, July 27. £14
THE BUZZ SO FAR A veritable one-woman electro band, Derby
LED Announce new Arena Already sporting one of the capital’s biggest electronic line-ups this summer with the likes of Leftfield, David Guetta, Goldfrapp, Aphex Twin and Calvin Harris, LED have invited UK clubnight ‘Pump Up The Volume’ to host their very own arena. They’ll be taking a nostalgic look back at 90s music complete with a 90s fancy dress theme. Victoria Park, (ledfestival.net). Aug 27-28
multi-instrumentalist Leni Ward sings and plays two keyboards simultaneously while using pedals to trigger effects/samples. WHAT ELSE? Her early demos caught the ear of Radio 2 DJ Steve Lamacq but it was the breakup of her seven year relationship that really spurred her on musically. “I didn’t see the point of sitting, miserable, listening to down-tempo music and moping. I chose dancing over depression.” So she wrote ultimate kiss-off tune Opening Doors, now her debut single out August 2 through The Library Recordings. Album Hope will follow in Autumn.
T In The Park 2011 Tickets on sale now … After another sellout success Scotland’s answer to Glasto has released early-bird tickets for next year’s festival, though no acts are confirmed yet. Balado, Kinross, (tinthepark.com). Jul 8-10, 2011.
Blessed with a voice that variously recalls Cocteau Twin Liz Fraser’s ethereal tones and Cat Power’s earthy soulfulness, independent New York City singer-songwriter Holly is in town to unleash her bewitching album The Magician’s Private Library, produced by TV On The Radio’s Dave Sitek, on the public this week.
All Tomorrows Parties Bowlie 2 Weekender This leftfield weekend festival curated by Glasgow indie poppers Belle & Sebastian just got even edgier with the addition of the Dirty Projectors, The Zombies, Sons And Daughters and Zoey Van Goey, among others, to the bill. They join an already stellar line up of Teenage Fanclub, Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan, Julian Cope, Vashti Bunyan and more. Butlins, Minehead, (atpfestival.com). Dec 10-12
MUSIC LISTINGS The Selecter Ska and pop from the veteran re-formed London-based band. Hoxton
MUSIC & CLUBS
Active Child, Phantogram, Mopp Electro and synth music from the Los Angeles-based combo. The Lexington, Pentonville
Apples Funk and dance-groove instrumentals from the Israeli band. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway,
Todd, Part Chimp, Sloath
NW1 7PG (0870 060 3777). £12.50.
Distorted noise-rock from the London-based combo. The
Belle Phoenix, Kingfishers Catch Fire, Rugosa Nevada
Luminaire, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 7JR (020 7372 7123). £8, adv £7.
And Anchor, Upper St, N1 1RL (020 7354 1312). £6, concs £4.50.
13 Most Beautiful... Songs For Andy Warhol’s Screen Tests Dean Wareham and Britta
Jon Cleary The New Orleansbased pianist performs R’n’B and funk with his backing group. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway,
Phillips, formerly of Luna, provide live musical accompaniment to 13 of Warhol’s filmed portraits. Barbican Centre,
NW1 7PG (0870 060 3777). £15.
Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £15.
Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £8.
The five-piece from Sydney, Australia plays indie-rock. Hope
Silk St, EC2Y 8DS (0845 120 7500/ cc 020 7638 8891). £15 & £20.
Hot Club Of Boisdale Parisian swing inspired by Stephane Grappelli and Django Reinhardt. Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.
The Kamkars Traditional Iranian folk songs from the leading ensemble of instrumentalists and singers. Barbican Centre, Silk St, EC2Y 8DS (0845 120 7500/ cc 020 7638 8891). £15-£35.
The Mekons Leftfield pop-rock outfit hailing from Chicago and London. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £15.
Curtis Stigers The vocalist and saxophonist plays popular songs from heartfelt ballads to upbeat, swinging tunes. Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). £30-£47.50.
TUESDAY 27 Rietta Austin Band The London-based singer and his group performs soulful rock. Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £10.
Bang Bang Eche The New Zealand-based four-piece plays dance-punk. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £5.
The Coral The Mersey-based five-piece plays other-worldly skewed indie-pop. Wilton’s Music Hall, Grace’s Alley, Ensign St, E1 8JD (020 7702 2789). £22.50.
Good Charlotte Pop-punk from the American five-piece. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £17.50.
The Holmes Brothers Americana, blues and country from the veteran New York-based trio. The Luminaire, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 7JR (020 7372 7123). £17, adv £15.
Klaxons Leftfield indie-pop from the London-based band. Village Underground, Holywell Ln, EC2A 3PQ (020 7422 7505). £14.
TNT’S TOP BOOKING
TIM FINN Scala, 275 Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL King’s Cross. (livenation.co.uk). Sun, Aug 8. £22.50 You gotta hand it to Tim. He continues to plough his own furrow despite forever being compared to younger, some-might-say more talented, brother Neil. Catch his solo show next month.
WEDNESDAY 28 Cousin Alice & The Boisdale Blue Rhythm Band The singer performs jazz standards.
Vandeville Falls, Seed Of Chance, Darling Bones The London-based five-piece plays melodic rock. The Wilmington Arms, Rosebery Ave, EC1R 4RL (0872 148 4072). £6, w/flyer £4.
Lee Bates & Billy Newton The North-East-based duo plays acoustic blues. Brook’s Blues Bar, The Telegraph, Telegraph Rd, SW15 3TU (020 8788 2011). £10.
Calypso Tent Featuring a variety of calypsonians from the ABC. The Tabernacle, Powis Sq, W11 2AY (020 7221 9700). £12, adv £10.
Abdou Diop & The Aynoobe Group The Senegalese singer-songwriter performs blues, folk and world music with accompaniment. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £10.
Empire State R’n’B and soul
African rapper. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £10.
Crook & Flail, Fog Andrew Broder of Fog and DoseOne of Subtle and cLOUDEAD unite in a musical project that soundtracks Unearthing, the new audiobook by Alan Moore. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £10.
Drongos For Europe, The Blame, Choking Susan, Blitzkreig, Noise Agents, London Riotous old-school punk from the Birmingham-based band. Bridgehouse 2, Bidder St, E16 4ST (020 7474 3200). £8.
The Leo Green Experience The flamboyant saxophonist and his group plays swing, blues and soul. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15, free to diners before 10pm.
Alvin Youngblood Hart Hard rocking electric blues, southern boogie and country blues from the Memphis-based guitarist and vocalist. Charlotte St Blues
Cattle Decapitation The
four-piece from San Diego plays hardcore rock and metal.
The Canadian trio plays reggae, rock, punk and soul.
The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £10.
Monto Water Rats, Gray’s Inn Rd, WC1X 8BZ (020 7837 4412). £10.
Ella Edmondson, Sam Heard
Carpathian, Ruiner, Heart In Hand The Melbourne-based
Imaani Soul and house from
five-piece plays hardcore punk with majestic backing.
The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). £10.
The Purple Turtle, Crowndale Rd, NW1 1TN (020 7383 4976). £7.
Wilko Johnson The Canvey
SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £12.
Island guitarist and ex-Dr Feelgood member performs his rock and blues originals. Half
The Dartmoor-based singersongwriter performs acoustica. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £7.
Kris Kristofferson The country legend and Hollywood icon performs his hits and songs from his album, Closer To The Bone.
Dobet Gnahore Afrobeat,
Cadogan Hall, Sloane Terrace, SW1X 9DQ (020 7730 4500). £40.
Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). £15, adv £10.
Lissie Country-pop from the American singer-songwriter. ICA, The Mall, SW1Y 5AH (020 7930 3647). £10.
Mama Rosin, Ottersgear, Eliza The Bear Cajun and
world and soul from the Cote Divoire-based singer. Rich
The Irrepressibles Eccentric alt pop from the London-based ensemble. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/cc 0870 060 0100). £20.
outfit. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15, free to diners before 10pm.
The Frantastics London-based folk-rock, rockabilly and country trio. Bistrotheque, Wadeson St, E2 9DR (020 8880 6100). £10.
the London-based singer.
Club, Charlotte St, W1T 4QH (020 7580 0113). £10, adv £7.
Jah Wobble And The Nippon Dub Ensemble The experimental five-piece plays dub inspired by the Chinese and Japanese music scene. O2 Academy Islington, N1 Centre, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (0844 477 2000). £15.
Bobby Wellins Scottish tenor saxophonist. 606 Club, Lots Rd,
Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £10.
Alleyway Crew, The Rats,
Jason Manns Glossy folk-pop
Trash Talk Punk-rock from the New York-based combo. The
from the Los Angeles-based singer-songwriter and actor. Dirty Dick’s, Bishopsgate, EC2M 4NR (07903 933861). £10.
My Preserver, Fin Raziel The
Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £12.
Barry ‘The Fish’ Melton, It’s a Beautiful Day, Alan Clayson, The Green Ray, Dubble Bubble Psychedelic
roots Americana from the Geneva-based band. The Old
Mark Kozelek The American singer-songwriter performs atmospheric folk. Union
1LL (020 7636 0933). £10, adv £8.
Queen’s Head, Essex Rd, N1 8LN (020 7354 9993). £8, adv £6.
Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £17.50.
rock from the Woodstock veteran singer and songwriter. The
Pink Martini The Oregon-based
Amersham Arms, New Cross Rd, SE14 6TY (020 8469 1499). £12.
Little Harlem Swing and R’n’B
12-piece plays swing and Cuban rhythms. Barbican Centre, Silk
Ok Go, Futures The American four-piece plays pop-rock. The
from the London-based band.
Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £13.50.
Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.
London-based four-piece plays alt rock. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D
St, EC2Y 8DS (0845 120 7500/cc 020 7638 8891). £20-£27.50.
Pandit Rajan & Sajan Misra The vocalists perform
Reuben Richards & Soul Train Blues, funk and soul
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (0844 847 9910/ cc 0871 663 2500). £12.
in the Varanasi tradition.
Pop Revue Acoustic and pop music showcase. Caffe Concerto,
Mario R’n’B and pop from
from the seven-piece.
Ariel Way, W12 7GE (020 7494 9750). £8, adv £6, free before 8pm.
the award-winning American vocalist. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £25-£50.
Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.
selling pop and rock vocalist performs his hits and promotes his album, Soulbook. O2
Pains Of Being Pure At Heart
Samara Saxophonist Steve Rubie
The four-piece from New York plays indie-pop. Heaven, Charing
and his six-piece plays Latin jazz, samba and soul. 606 Club, Lots
Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £60 & £70.
Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £12.50.
Rd, SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £12.
Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing email@example.com.
Stan Tracey The veteran jazz pianist and composer plays originals, standards and improv. Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £12.
Zs The Brooklyn-based band plays instrumental experimentations in sound. Whitechapel Gallery, Whitechapel High St, E1 7QX (020 7522 7888). £7.
tntonline For full London music listings info go to tntmagazine.com
And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 8826 5000). £20.
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (0844 847 9910/cc 0871 663 2500). £12.
O Hum The band combines traditional Iranian music with Western rock. Bull
Uday Bhawalkar & Sunanda Sharma A double headline show featuring two of India’s most accomplished classical vocalists with accompaniment.
Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.
Rod Stewart The platinumModenine, K 16, Shadez The Misfit Hip-hop from the
MUSIC & CLUBS
Natasha Vuckovic PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST CLUB NIGHTS
CLUB OF THE WEEK PRYDA WAREHOUSE PARTY Eric Prydz is moving his Pryda party from Matter to a central London car park location that promises “three huge industrial arches and a large outside space”. So far so good. Not only is the once-upon-a-time Swedish House Mafioso one of music download site Beatport’s biggest selling artists, he’s also dominated both commercial and underground dance floors. Brazilian Gui Boratto, a name to watch out for, joins the London-based Swede for this event.
» Ewer Street Car Park, Great Suffolk St, SE1 0BL (08700 600100). Southwark. Sat, Jul 31, 10pm-6am. £18 adv beats/breaks
drum ’n’ bass
MATT DAREY PRESENTS
If it’s progressive house you crave then check out Matt Darey’s gig at The White House this week. He’s the guy behind mammoth dance radio show Nocturnal, and as the name suggests; you’ll be up all night.
This event has a location that’s all very hush hush. Luring us with the words ‘summer loft party’ and ‘deep techno’, Electric Minds is throwing this shindig somewhere in Shoreditch. The location is only given to ticket holders and will most certainly sell out in advance. Tickets available at residentadvisor.net.
» The White House, 65 Clapham Park Rd, SW4 7EH Clapham Common (020 7498 3388; thewhitehouselondon.co.uk). Fri, Jul 30, 7pm-5am. Free before 9pm, £6 before 11pm, £8 after
Secret loft location, E2 Old Street (electricminds.co.uk). Sat, Jul 31, 10pm-6am. £10
Can’t make it to any festivals this year? Global Gathering has released an album of festival anthems. Called, er, Festival Anthems, the compilation celebrates 10 years of Global. It features tracks from Groove Armada, Calvin Harris and Faithless that will have you jumping around your living room. Meanwhile, the Global Gathering festival is on this weekend near Stratford-Upon-Avon; headliner Dizzee Rascal (right) has said he’s “gonna make sure it’s a big one”. Paul van Dyk’s Vandit Records has joined forces with Armin van Buuren’s Armada Music.
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2-4-1 ENTRY TO THE BEST CLUBS IN LONDON
The Berlin-based Vandit team remain responsible for the label’s A&R and artist development. Van Dyk said: “The symbiosis of creative power, expertise and market impact by Vandit and Armada Music will set a new milestone in electronic music.”
We have three copies of Global Gathering’s Festival Anthems to give away. To enter, email grabs@tntmagazine with ‘Festival Anthems’ in the subject line, by noon, Wed, Jul 28.
CLUB LISTINGS MONDAY 26
St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). 9pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £3.
Hard Core Salsa DJ Mario plays mambo and salsa. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 7pm-late. £4, free before 9pm.
I Love Mondays DJ Victor spins commercial dance, R’n’B and funky house. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7287 372). 10pm-3.30am. £5, NUS £1.
Jump Jive And Shout DJ Late Lee plays jive and jump, plus live bands. Fiddler’s Elbow, Malden Rd, NW5 3HS (020 7485 3269). 7.30pm-late. £4.
Popcorn Commercial dance, house and R’n’B, plus a cinema and chill-out room. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-6am. £8, £2 before midnight, w/wristband free before 1am, NUS/mems free.
Vodka Island Funky electro, house and chart courtesy of the residents. Tiger Tiger, Haymarket, SW1Y 4SP (020 7930 1885). 9pm-3am. £6, £5 before 10pm.
TUESDAY 27 Boot Camp Rob C and Peter X spin disco in aid of Positiveline and The Eddie Surman Trust. Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903). 9pm-2am. £3, mems £2.
Festa Fiesta Latin and samba from the resident DJs, plus salsa classes before 10pm. Fiesta Havana, Fulham Rd, SW6 5NH (020 7381 5005). 7pm-2am. £6.
Lost In London Party on the ground floor, electro-house in the basement and commercial R’n’B in the VIP room. Zoo Bar, Bear St, WC2H 7AQ (020 7839 4188). 7.30pm-3am. £7, guestlist/NUS £5.
No Fiction Indie, disco, electro and rock from The Palpitations, Creatures Of Love and Back Seat Heart Beats. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-1.30am. £6.
Panic! Max, Gaz and That Perfect Fumble play indie, electro and post-punk. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3.
White Heat DJs Matty, Marcus and Olly play indie, punk, techno and electro. Madame Jo Jo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10.30pm-3am. £6, adv £5.
St Moritz, Wardour St, W1F 8WL (020 7437 0525). 10pm-3.30am. £6, w/flyer/mems £5, free before 11pm.
SOUTH WEST FOUR Clapham Common, SW4 Clapham Common (southwestfour.com) Aug 28 and 29. From £45 It’s the annual London festival that’s coveted by clubbers and this year there’s two full days of it. The 2010 line-up includes Pete Tong, Carl Cox, Fatboy Slim and John Digweed – this festival sells out every year for a reason.
Filthy Retro Kaputt and resident DJs play indie and disco. Gramaphone, Commercial St, E1 6LT (020 7377 9337). 8pm-3.30am. £6, w/flyer £5.
House Of Dubstep DJ Steaz and DJ Tubby spins dubstep, with a special performance from D Double E of the Newham Generals. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7274 5537). 10pm-4am. £10, £8 before midnight, adv £5.
I Love Acid Shinra, Pathic and DJ SP spin acid house, electro anthems and retro rave. Ginglik, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8PH (020 8749 2310). 9pm-3am. £8, £6 before midnight.
Inferno Andrew Elmore spins funk, house and dance. Diffrent Strokes DJs Phat Cat, Zay London, Lonyo and MOBO Award winner and Kiss FM DJ Manny Norte play neo soul, funk and R’n’B. Cherryjam, Porchester Rd, W2 6ET (020 7727 9950). 9pm-late. £10, £5 before 11pm.
Radio The Radio DJs play 1980s pop, indie and disco.
Mix It Up Retro club and chart
The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3.
Sq, W1J 6ER (020 7758 8255). 9pm-3am. £5, free before 10pm.
Temptation Pop, R’n’B and cheese with resident DJs. Zoo Bar,
Grapple 101 DJ Screwpulous
Mode PR DJs VG, Shock, Supa
Kidology Introduces Republik Tim Sheridan, Bert
Mann and Xavier Miller play R’n’B and funky house. Tamarai, Drury
Bevans and Mark Wilkinson play house, disco and electro. Egg,
Ln, WC2B 5PG (020 7831 9399). 10pm-3am. £20, £15 guestlist.
York Way, N7 9AX (020 7609 8364). 10pm-6am. £15, adv £12.
Popstarz indie, pop, R’n’B and
Kuch Kuch DJ Ritu plays
Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903). 9pm-2am. £3, mems £2, mems free before 10pm.
Your Mum’s House Scally
Motown. The Den & Centro, West
Bollywood, Arabic, R’n’B and
Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). 10pm-4am. £8, free before 11pm.
chart. The Livery, Wood St, EC2V 6DL (020 7600 9624). 10pm-3am. £15.
Kwesachu DJs Actress, Gerv Lv and HVN JBX play pop and R’n’B. The Social, Little Portland
Dandan, Jamie D Winter spin electro and fidget house. Punk, Soho St, W1D 3DN (020 7734 4004). 9pm-3am. £5, £3 before 11pm.
Roller Disco Roller disco with funk, soulful house, electro and breakbeat. Renaissance Rooms,
Lost And Found Keb Darge and Andy Smith play blues, rock and Northern Soul.
Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375). 8pm-2am. £12.50.
Madame Jo Jo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £8.
Beat Redemption Mala, the boss of Deep Medi Musik and co-founder of DMZ, spins dub. Plus live, fresh performances from Darkstar and Dokkebi Q. The Rhythm
Salt N Peppa Part Three DJs Philly, Biggy C and MCs Tyron and Brandy provide hip-hop and UK garage. Club Colosseum, Nine
Pukka Up DJs Scott Giles, Oz and Graham Cordery play house. Pacha, Terminus
St, W1W 7JD (020 7636 4992). 7pm-1am. £5, free before 9pm.
Shadow Boxer Andrew Elmore spins 1980s dance and pop classics. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm, mems/guestlist free.
Swerve DJs Kibuki, Bryan G, Fabio and Jordan V spin drum ’n’ bass. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 10pm-3am. £7, £5 before 11pm, NUS £5.
Trannyshack Miss Dusty O and Tasty Tim spin commercial dance and pop. Madame Jo Jo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £3.
THURSDAY 29 Addiction Resident DJs play R’n’B, reggae, funk, garage and hip-hop. Rumba, Shaftesbury
Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). 10pm-6am. £8, adv £6.
Calentito Pop, R’n’B, and soul. Salvador And Amanda, Great Newport St, WC2H 7JA (020 7240 1551). 9pm-3am. £10, guestlist £5, free before 9pm.
Dance Rocks House, R’n’B, chart, indie and 1980s and 1990s hits. The Watershed, The Broadway, SW19 1SD (020 8540 0080). 8pm-late. £8, £5 before midnight.
Everybody’s Talking At Me
Ave, W1D 7EP (020 7287 2715). 9pm-3am. £10, £5 before 11pm.
Alex Phountzi, Rita Maia and Kobe1 supply UK funky, dubstep and bassline. Notting Hill
Glitz & Glamour DJ Mark
Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7pm-2am. £8, £6 before 11pm, free before 8pm.
Bambach plays house and R’n’B. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm, mems/guests free.
Get Yourself Connected Nick
Latin Krazy Salsa, merengue,
Tcherniak spins house and electro all night. The Langley, Langley St,
Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 7.30pm-late. £4, free before 9pm.
WC2H 9JA (020 7836 5005). 8pm3am. £10, £5 before 9pm, free before 8pm.
from the resident DJs, plus dance classes before 10pm. Fiesta
Psyrhythmix DJs spin psychedelic trance. Club
Latin Fever Move your hips to these superb Latin tracks from resident DJ Jorge. Salsa!, Charing
Havana, Fulham Rd, SW6 5NH (020 7381 5005). 7pm-2am. £6.
414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 11pm-6am. £5, £3 before midnight.
Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 7pm-2am. £10, £8 before 11pm, £4 before 9pm, £2 before 8pm.
Cheap$kates Disco St, W1D 4DR (020 7287 372). 9pm3.30am. £6, NUS £5, w/flyer £4.
The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm3am. £10, free before 11pm.
Bear St, WC2H 7AQ (020 7839 4188). 10pm-3am. £10, £7 before 10pm, guestlist free before 10pm.
Agita Brasil Latin and samba
and hip-hop courtesy of DJ Downfall. Moonlighting, Greek
with resident DJ. Babble, Berkeley
spins classic chart, plus wrestling hosted by Danny and Ashley.
bachata and reggaeton.
Decadence DJs Shuff and Belle play glam rock and punk.
MUSIC & CLUBS
Bite DJs Lydia, Ian, Marcus and Peta spin electro, indie, disco, dubstep, hip-hop and pop. The Den & Centro, West Central
TNT’S TOP BOOKING
Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609). 11.30pm-5am. £8, £5 guestlist.
Strictly Business The Muzik Mafia DJs spin urban and Latin sounds, including upfront R’n’B, 1980s and 1990s soul and soulful house. Traffic, Vernon Place, WC1A
The Secret Agency And Plan B Present Patrice Scott, Giles Smith and Flori supply house and techno. Plan B, Brixton Rd, SW9 4AY (020 7733 0926). 10pm-6am. £10, adv £8.
2EP (020 3206 0011). 10pm-3am. £10.
Unbranded DJs Howie and Therapy Electro-pop and dance from Kris Di Angelis. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £10, free before 11pm.
SATURDAY 31 Audio Sushi Indie, house and hip-hop from DJ Disastronaut.
Perry play commercial dance and R’n’B. Crazy Larry’s, King’s Rd, SW10 0TZ (020 7376 5555). 10pm3am. £10, guestlist £5 before 11pm.
SUNDAY 1 Groove Sanctuary AfricanLatin, disco and deep house from DJ Jimbo, Joey Vieira and guests. Madame Jo Jo’s, Brewer
The Dogstar, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LQ (020 7733 7515). 7pm-4am. £5, free before 10pm.
St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 9.30pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.
Brix Lane Remixed Sarah
Horse Meat Disco Jim
Sayeed, Slo Burn, MC Shameless and DJ Excalibah play soul, hiphop and house. Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). 8pm-late. £7, adv £5.
Cargo Presents Andy Peyton and The Loose Cannons spin electro beats, pop remixes and hip-hop. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). 9pm-3am. £10, free before 10.30pm.
Stanton, James Hillard, Filthy Luka and Severino spin disco. Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903). 8pm-3am. £6.
My Gosh Marvellous DJ Dandy plays vintage rock ’n’ roll, soul, swing and pop. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-1.30am. £10.
Wang Abe Duque, Blake Circus House and electro from Jodie Harsh, Filthy Dukes DJ set and Viktoria Modesta.
Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489). 10pm-5am. £20, adv £15.
Paramount, New Oxford St, WC1A 1DD (020 7420 2900). 10pm-4.30am. £15, adv £11.
Baxter, Andrew Weatherall, Electro Elvis, Simon Busby and Ben Lyford play techno, dance, electro and house. Dalston Superstore, Kingsland High St, E8 2PB (020 7254 2273). 8pm-2am. £5.
news & sport
NEWS IN REVIEW
The week that was MONDAY
» TUESDAY » WEDNESDAY » THURSDAY » FRIDAY » SATURDAY » SUNDAY quote unquote “Sam! Sam! Street Talk.” A crazed woman yells at Footy Show star Sam Newman and kicks him in the leg as he leaves court charged with wilful damage and using indecent language in a 2009 road rage incident.
wrap up of last week’s events from australia, new zealand and south africa
AUSTRALIA PT scheme expanded A new $1.35bn public transport ticketing system was expanded across all public transport in Melbourne. The troubled ‘myki’ system, which was $350m over budget but works like London’s Oyster cards, was introduced on trains earlier this year, but technical issues delayed its use on buses and trams.
Gillard going green Prime Minister Julia Gillard would crack down on dirty power plants, invest $1 billion in ‘greening up’ the electricity grid, and handball the difficult issue
Hey hey … it’s our kylie: Kylie Minogue makes her first performance on Australian TV in 10 years, joining Daryl Somers and Ozzie Ostrich for the series finale of Hey Hey It’s Saturday. In a much-hyped appearance, Kylie sang her latest singles, All The Lovers and Get Outta My Way.
of a carbon price to a 150-person citizens’ assembly. But this key part of her longawaited climate policy was panned by conservationists as ineffective in reducing Australia’s greenhouse gas emissions. She also stood by her decision to delay the emissions trading scheme until 2013.
Robert Farquharson was found guilty for a second time of murdering his three sons by driving them into a Victorian dam on Father’s Day in 2005. A Victorian Supreme Court jury found him guilty of
murdering Jai, 10, Tyler, 7, and Bailey, 2, after an appeal court quashed his 2007 conviction.
Going underground Aboriginal prisoners in the Pilbara will work as miners to reduce re-offending. The minimum-security inmates at Roebourne Regional Prison, will work at Rio Tinto’s Cape Lambert port 40 hours a week.
More customs funds A coalition government would beef up customs screening at sea and airports by $93.1 million, leader Tony Abbott pledged in the run-up to the August election.
*And finally … election gets scraps
the traditional time of 7.30pm, on the first Sunday after the election has been called. Instead, millions of viewers nationwide tuned into the series two finale of TV ratings juggernaut MasterChef at 7.30pm to watch South Australians Callum Hann and Adam Liaw subject their cooking skills to the ultimate test.
“Wayne Swan is to surpluses what Paris Hilton is to celibacy. They remember it once existed but they’ll never see it again.” Big Joe Hockey questions the treasurer’s credentials. “He has displayed what has crept into Australia over the last 10 years.” Senior indigenous leader Neil Gillespie believes Robert DiPierdomenico should have lost his AFL ambassador’s role for a racial remark about Gavin Wanganeen. “It’s any parent’s worst nightmare.” An unnamed mother, whose daughter was pricked by a syringe at a NSW McDonald’s.
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Australia’s one and only televised pre-election debate was relegated to an earlier timeslot to avoid clashing with a hugely popular reality TV cook-off. The debate, which saw prime ministerial candidates Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott slog it out live from the National Press Club in Canberra, was bumped to a 6.30pm timeslot, rather than
“I think he’s as mad as a cut snake.” Former Labor prime minister Bob Hawke on Tony Abbott after he vowed to turn back illegal boat people.
WWI soldier buried
WESTERN AUSTRALIA The Burswood Entertainment Complex and Casino in Perth will get a $250 million facelift, making it a world-class resort. The overhaul will include an expanded casino floor, upgraded hotel rooms, and new restaurants.
Not forgotten: Australian servicemen honour the fallen
rest alongside former comrades, his coffin carried to the strains of the last post and more upbeat Waltzing Matilda. Prince Charles, who described the soldiers as having “fought so valiantly”, and Australian Governor-General Quentin Bryce, attended the ceremony. In 1916, Australian troops joined their British counterparts
in an assault on the Germans, as a diversion to the Somme offensive 50km to the south. It was the costliest battle in Australian military history with 5533 Australians killed, wounded, captured or disappearing within 24 hours. Ninety-six of the Australian troops were identified through DNA testing.
Speedy boarding for Qantas not already checked-in online or by mobile phone to tap a card reader to complete the process. A 2D barcode is sent to passengers’ handsets to confirm their mobile check-in. The multi-million dollar system also includes electronic baggage scales and an automated excess baggage payment function. Eventually, passengers will be able to check in their bags using electronic tags at an automated drop off. The technology is expected to be rolled out to Australia’s other city airports by 2011.
QUEENSLAND An escapee dubbed the ‘Facebook Fugitive’ has been caught in Townsville. Justin Grant fled guards while handcuffed and barefoot during a hospital visit. He contacted friends via Facebook, but authorities believed an accomplice may have accessed Grant’s profile.
NEW SOUTH WALES Police feared the outbreak of a ‘curry war’ in Sydney after two food delivery vans parked outside a popular Indian restaurant were torched. It followed a suspected arson at a nearby Indian eatery a fortnight earlier.
Cutting edge: Qantas slashes check-in times
Port Augusta footballer Kane Allen was convicted of the murder of his wife, which he tried to cover up as suicide. Allen killed his wife in July 2008 and was arrested in 2009 when a post mortem found marks on her body were atypical of a suicide hanging.
NEWS & SPORT
■ Last soldier recovered from Australia’s bloodiest WWI battle laid to rest in France ■ Some 5533 diggers were killed, wounded, captured or disappeared at the Battle of Fromelles in 1916 ■ Servicemen honour the 250 troops recovered from the battleground in 2007
Qantas introduced futuristic technology to process passengers at airports, boasting a five-second check-in system and slashed waiting times. The new technology also signalled a clamp-down on the airline’s excess baggage policy. Believed to be the first airline in the world to use such cutting-edge technology, the new facilities were to be tested on frequent flyer passengers at Perth airport this week. Premium flyers will be given a smart card with chip technology – which can also be used as a boarding pass – that allows flyers who have
COAST TO COAST What’s happening across the country
ommonwealth servicemen honoured the last body recovered from Australia’s ‘forgotten’ battle of Fromelles as it was laid to rest in a new military cemetery in France. The body was recovered in 2007, along with 250 other Australian and British soldiers killed in one of the First World War’s bloodiest battles, in a mass grave near the northern French town. On the 94th anniversary of the battle, on July 19, the unknown soldier was laid to
The week that was
news & sport
» TUESDAY » WEDNESDAY » THURSDAY » FRIDAY » SATURDAY » SUNDAY
Blackmailer jailed A Nelson man who sent text messages threatening to post the details of a woman’s sexual abuse on Facebook was sentenced to 5 ½ months in jail when he appeared in the High Court at Blenheim. Rhyce Crawford Milne was sentenced by Justice Ronald Young, after admitting a charge of blackmail. Milne sent three abusive text messages to a man claiming he owed him $10 in relation to a drug deal. He threatened that if the debt was not paid, he would reveal details of the man’s partner’s sexual abuse on Facebook. The man did not owe Milne any money, Justice Young said.
A dog’s tale: A TV crew films one of the puppies from the litter of Katie the labrador, who belonged to the murdered Fielding dairy farmer Scott Guy. Three of the litter went missing the night before the murder, and police believe the missing puppies may hold clues to catching Guy’s killer.
Homes ‘too cold’ Too many New Zealanders live in cold, damp rental homes, Green MP Gareth Hughes said. He has created a members’ bill to legislate against such homes and was touring the country to promote it. Hughes’ Warm Healthy Rental Bill aimed to ensure rental homes met basic standards for
warmth and insulation by 2018. The bill will be entered into the next members’ ballot.
Kiwis being cheated? Locals and tourists alike were being cheated by ridiculous prices for everyday goods and services in New Zealand, which was harming the country’s international reputation. That was the warning from writer Peter Bills, who kicked off a nationwide debate, which included former All Black Justin Marshall, in a newspaper column complaining about the expense of clothes, meals, car hire, accommodation and more.
Russian babes in NZ New Zealanders could be able to adopt babies from Russia within a year. Russian officials have granted a permit to ICANZ (Inter Country Adoption New Zealand) to operate an adoption programme. Russian adoptions were suspended in 2006 after concerns over practices by Russian agencies, including overcharging. ICANZ began helping families find children in Russian orphanages after the fall of communism, with the first children adopted by Kiwis in 1992.
*And finally … What a dump
supermarket bag and “unfortunately” left it behind. “It was an error of judgement by the meter reader, who subsequently lost his job. There was no malicious intent.” The Electricity and Gas Complaints Commission said the incident was unpleasant but ruled that a compensation payment of $800 was reasonable.
“There’s a level of arrogance to go to the extent of making shopkeepers deny whether or not they’re going to sell them.” Wellington PR consultant Michael Tull isn’t impressed by Apple’s secrecy around the NZ launch of the iPad. “It stinks like fart.” Waitara surfer Jamie Andrews reckons something dodgy has happened at his local break. People have been developing earache and rashes after surfing there. “I hate Christmas music. I loathe it. I want to make an album of Christmas music that’s so cool you will go ‘wow’.” Kiwi music producer Monique Rhodes is ready to attempt the impossible. “The judgement says a man can no longer consider his house his castle.” Taupo man Jeremy Graves pointed an airgun at police, believing they were burglars, and was convicted as a result.
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A Wellington landlord incensed by a meter reader who defecated in a bag and left it on his apartment doorstep has had his claim for compensation knocked back from $200,000 to $800. Genesis Energy said the meter reader was caught short while at the apartment and could not access the toilet, so “with a lack of judgement” used a
quote unquote “We’re going to try and find at least a beach (to stay) somewhere every night.” Kiwi Jeremy Burfett, who will jetski from London to New Zealand, a journey taking four months and costing $700,000.
UPPER NORTH ISLAND Patients at the emergency department of Auckland’s North Shore Hospital were being treated in corridors after a spike in winter illnesses. Nurses said there were not enough staff to cope with demand, and that it was demoralising to work in such a taxing environment.
Unlawful: senior military figures have too much authority
concerns about the integrity and legality of what was being done. “And too many people accepted it as plausible that they were being directed to behave unlawfully.” Provost criticised the organisational culture in NZDF, particularly the military discipline of hierarchy and command, in which people saw
it as inappropriate to question a decision made by a superior. Chief of the Defence Force Lieutenant General Jerry Mateparae said he would act on Provost’s findings, which were consistent with the NZDF’s own inquiry. The unnamed officers had been censured, though they were not financially motivated.
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Armed crime spree ends of a stolen S-type Jaguar and police said they had “no intention of stopping”. They appeared terrified and gave up without a struggle. Senior Sergeant Stu Koefoed, of Nelson, said the pair committed offences in Blenheim, Kaikoura, Rai Valley and Havelock areas. “It’s certainly a mini crime spree. They’ve committed maybe 50 offences over three different police areas.” Andrej Michael Schwaab later appeared in court, and pleaded guilty to all charges. Schwaab and the 15-year-old were likely to face more charges.
LOWER NORTH ISLAND All Whites players received a rapturous thank you for their undefeated run at the World Cup as thousands of football fans watched the team parade through Wellington.
UPPER SOUTH ISLAND A group of diners who took their own cake to a Richmond restaurant unwittingly sparked a nationwide debate when they objected to being charged a $12 ‘cakeage’ fee. The restaurant owner said people bringing their own cakes cost him money.
LOWER SOUTH ISLAND
Red-handed: the youths face up to 50 charges
The potential loss of neurosurgery services in the south has sparked outrage among local mayors. They were worried that cutting back services at Dunedin Hospital, and locating all six South Island neurosurgeons at Christchurch Hospital, would make it hard for patients to get treatment.
NEWS & SPORT
■ Defence Force criticised by auditor-general over a culture in which illegality was not questioned ■ Officers based in New York submitted false declarations for accommodation allowance ■ NZDF says officers were not financially motivated
Two armed teens who went on an alleged five-day crime spree through the South Island gave up without a struggle after being confronted at a roadblock by police wielding rifles, pistols and Tasers. The teenagers, aged 15 and 17, allegedly stole six vehicles and a range of goods, including a shotgun, and committed more than 40 offences on their 500km spree, the Nelson Mail reported. They were finally stopped with road spikes, and at gunpoint, on State Highway 6 near Nelson. They had a loaded air rifle in the back
COAST TO COAST What’s happening across the country
he Defence Force was rebuked for having a culture in which any officer could be ordered to commit an unlawful act. The criticism came from the auditor-general, Lyn Provost, who was examining officers seconded to the United Nations who wrongly claimed accommodation allowances by submitting false declarations. Ms Provost said “too many people” told her inquiry that command requirements prevented them from raising
The week that was
news & sport
» TUESDAY » WEDNESDAY » THURSDAY » FRIDAY » SATURDAY » SUNDAY
Positive HIV move Every citizen in at least 30 regions in South Africa is to undergo HIV tests in the biggest ever experiment to eliminate transmission of the virus. Immediate treatment would be given to those who test positive in some regions, while those in other areas would have treatment delayed. This is to determine the effectiveness of the treatment. The HIV-Aids unit of Geneva University Hospital in Switzerland is spearheading the project.
Madiba family attack Nelson Mandela’s daughter, Zindzi, and her other family members were attacked in their driveway on his birthday. As their driver pulled into the driveway, two men approached. They searched the family, then fired a gunshot. The driver fired back and the men fled. No one was hurt and nothing was stolen.
Tutu slows it down Nobel peace laureate Desmond Tutu announced plans to bow
“We need to try poisoning the horns with something like cyanide so when someone uses it for medicine they will die.” Krugersdorp rhino park owner Ed Hern suggests measures to stamp out rife rhino poaching. CATCH OF THE DAY: A fisherman secures a massive haul of sardines as thousands of them wash up on the shores of Durban. Masses of locals, fishermen and tourists rushed to South Africa’s east coast to witness the annual ritual, when shoals of sardines stretch along the coast for hundreds of kilometres.
out from public life to spend more time with his family. The archbishop will withdraw from the limelight on his 79th birthday on October 7, limiting time spent in his Cape Town office to one day a week until February 2011. “The time has now come to slow down,” he said.
ANC member ousted
Former chairman of the ANC Youth League’s Limpopo division, Lehlogonolo Masoga, was expelled from the league for creating division in the party. Masoga, bitter from losing his role as chairman to Joseph
Malema ally Frans Moswane in April, was taking court action against party leaders. He stalled proceedings in order for the ANC to intervene, but when the ANC refused to be drawn into the dispute, Masoga was expelled.
Minister gets WEF role South Africa’s tourism minister, Marthinus van Schalkwyk, was appointed to chair the World Economic Forum’s (WEF) Tourism Council. He will head the aviation sector and focus on how it can contribute to a greener South African economy.
their poor eyesight, surfaced. “Our boat’s engine was off so the whale just didn’t know we were there,” Ms Werner said. The couple was unhurt and the yacht only mildly damaged, but the young mammal left behind blubber and skin and, according to a marine scientist, would definitely have been “very badly bruised”.
“Anything that has to do with combating HIV/ Aids must be given preference in terms of the regulatory functions.” Health Minister Aaron Motsoaledi on a groundbreaking HIVblocking vaginal gel that could prevent up to 1.3 million new infections and 800,000 deaths in South Africa in the next 20 years. “A few good thunderstorms or rising dam levels can never be invitations to anybody to waste water. Water may be a free gift from heaven, but it can never be cheap.” Environment minister Buyelwa Sonjica warns about drought after signing a water supply deal with Swaziland. TNT r weathe rt repo
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East London 11
Port Elizabeth 7
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*And finally … whale of a time A couple sailing off the coast of Cape Town had the fright of their lives when a 40-tonne southern right whale breached and toppled the boat’s steel mast, then slipped back into the ocean. Paloma Werner was sailing with her boyfriend, Ralph Mothes, in their 32-foot, steel-hulled yacht and dove for cover when the 10m mammal, known for
quote unquote “Hospersa has no other choice but to embark on industrial action.” The trade union is the latest to reject the Government’s 6.5 per cent pay increase for public servants, and plans to strike on August 1.
WESTERN CAPE Baboons wait for the ‘beep beep’ sound of a car door unlocking before they break in to steal food and valuables, city official Theuns Vivian claimed. He called for street signs to warn tourists of the danger posed by the animals.
The settlement of Kya Sands is now being monitored
connection with the violence, in which the victims were taken to hospital with deep cuts to their heads. One female victim said she was kicked in the chest. Speaking to Talk Radio 702, one of those attacked said: “I was just sitting at my home and a group of people came and asked me where I come from and
before I could answer they started hitting me.” Police denied the attacks were xenophobic, but they coincided with awareness campaigns launched by charities after a spate of robberies and looting of shops owned by foreigners. The Zimbabwean government also condemned threats to its nationals in South Africa.
SAPA, Getty Images
Joblessness a major challenge and warned against “the current pattern of a core of well-paid labour market insiders existing alongside a similar number of excluded and impoverished outsiders”. Although the country’s official unemployment rate was 24.5 per cent, the figure was more realistically 30 per cent, the report warned. The OECD, a group of the world’s richest countries, suggested South Africa’s economy needed to grow by 5 per cent each year for longterm growth and development, and emphasised poor schooling was a major concern.
KWAZULUNATAL More than 9000 science teachers in the province were unqualified to teach the subject, the Inkatha Freedom Party (IFP) said. The province also has a very poor matric pass rate in science.
GAUTENG A construction worker died after falling 7m on to a construction site in Hammanskraal, north of Pretoria. Investigators were looking into possible health and safety breaches.
LIMPOPO A 25-year-old woman was charged with murder after she allegedly threw her baby into a bin after giving birth in Lebowakgomo. She was due to face the Thabamoopo Magistrate’s Court.
A 28-year-old policeman was fired over claims he raped his 17-year-old sister. The Independent Complaints Directorate was investigating.
NEWS & SPORT
■ Soldiers are deployed to Kya Sands, north of Johannesburg, to quell an outbreak of violence ■ At least 16 people, mostly foreigners, are taken to hospital with deep cuts ■ The incident sparks fears of a repeat of the xenophobic mob attacks of 2008
South Africa’s “overriding policy challenge” was its “extreme” and sustained unemployment, which ran at more than 50 per cent among black youths, according to the first economic survey of the country carried out by the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development. Delivering the findings in Johannesburg, secretary general of the OECD Angel Gurria said the South African Government was faced with a choice between the protection of “decent jobs” and lowering unemployment. He criticised its “rhetoric”,
COAST TO COAST What’s happening across the country
oldiers from South Africa’s defence force were deployed to the informal settlement of Kya Sands, north of Johannesburg, to monitor the town after an outbreak of violence against foreign nationals. At least 16 people, mostly foreigners from elsewhere in Africa, were attacked over two days, sparking fears of a repeat of the xenophobic mob attacks that killed 60 people in the nation two years ago. Police arrested 12 people in
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Sporting week MONDAY
FOOTBALL Harry Kewell agrees a new one-year deal with Turkish club Galatasaray. Kewell, 31, has impressed since moving to Turkey in 2008 after injuries threatened to derail his career.
RUGBY LEAGUE Melbourne Storm skipper Cameron Smith again pleads his innocence in the club’s salary cap scandal and insists the two contracts he signed were identical. Dicey.
AFL The Western Bulldogs sack Jason Akermanis, claiming “trust has broken down” while refusing to explain what that means. New age double-talk delivers a PR loss for the Dogs.
AFL The Gold Coast expansion side announce they will be known as the ‘Suns’ when they join the league next season. Not bad – simple and straightforward. But the theme song is excruciating.
FOOTBALL Wellington Phoenix beat Argentine side Boca Juniors 2-1 in Wellington, with new signing Dylan Macallister and skipper Andrew Durante scoring either side of half-time.
FOOTBALL Socceroos captain Lucas Neill announces his desire to coach Australia at the 2022 World Cup, which will be held Down Under if the Australian bid is successful. He’s gone early.
ON BOX THE
MONDAY BASEBALL Philadelphia v Colorado Major League action 5pm ESPN America
TUESDAY ATHLETICS European Championships Wil you support the Poms? 8.45am BBC 2
WEDNESDAY ATHLETICS African Championships Sure to be some controversy 1pm British Eurosport
RUGBY UNION The Wallabies’ win over the Springboks is soured when star flyhalf Quade Cooper cops a two-match suspension for his dangerous tackle on Morne Steyn. The Kiwis will be happy.
He dogged it. “ My chihuahua, Rocky, has got bigger balls than him
Aussie boxer Danny Green after opponent Paul Briggs went down in just 29 seconds.
THURSDAY CRICKET England v Pakistan Day one of the first Test 10am Sky Sports 2
FRIDAY FOOTBALL UEFA U19 final See generation next emerge 6pm British Eurosport 2 SATURDAY RUGBY UNION Australia v New Zealand Big test for the Wallabies 11am Sky Sports 2 SUNDAY FOOTBALL Man City v Inter Milan Pre-season hit-out 1am ESPN
PUB TALK: BRITISH SPORT EXPLAINED The top job at Fulham What’s happened? Martin Jol (right), who managed Tottenham from 2004-07, looked a shoe-in at the start of last week but his current club, Ajax, refused to let him walk away. Not happy. What now for the Cottagers? Sven-Göran Eriksson looks to be the favourite to take over – but Fulham fans
probably won’t be happy about that, given Eriksson’s modest success over the past decade. Anyone else? Dave Jones, currently in charge of Cardiff City, is in the mix, as are Gianfranco Zola, who used to manage West Ham, and Mark Hughes, who was dumped by Manchester City last December.
NEWS & SPORT
Tom Sturrock picks his winners and losers
RUGBY Quade Cooper before he got sin-binned
It’s not “ as easy as
NEWS & SPORT
it sounds and it didn’t go perfectly, but we stuck to it
Australian skipper Rocky Elsom on his side’s resolve to play more attacking rugby.
Springboks blitzed Australia 30 W Genia D Mitchell tries J O’Connor con M Giteau 6 pens
13 South Africa J Fourie G Steenkamp tries M Steyn pen
The Wallabies continued their Suncorp Stadium love affair with an emphatic 30-13 triumph on Saturday night to leave South Africa’s Tri-Nations title defence in tatters. With skipper Rocky Elsom and fellow flanker David Pocock leading the way, Australia ran the ball at will to dominate the opening hour, before fading late as the Springboks crossed for two tries. A bonus-point win appeared at formality mercy when Australia led 23-3 early in the second half and held a one-man advantage, but the sin-binning of home-town hero Quade
Cooper halted the Wallabies’ momentum. Kept tryless in their last four Tests at Suncorp Stadium, the Boks gave themselves some hope when centre Jaque Fourie and prop Gurthro Steenkamp crossed for tries to claw the score back to 23-13. But stand-out halfback Will Genia, one of three stars who returning to Australia’s starting side after an injury lay-off, brought the 44,284-strong Brisbane crowd to its feet when he scampered over to seal victory in the 75th minute. The result meant the defending champions returned home without a point so far in the tournament and now find themselves all but out of contention for another Tri-Nations title.
AUSTRALIA He’s not as mouthy as George Gregan, nor does he boast the same experience, but Genia’s leadership and the space he creates for teammates mean he is rapidly becoming as important to this Australian side as the Little General was to the great Wallabies teams of yesteryear.
THE TABLE Team
New Zealand Australia South Africa
W 2 1 0
L 0 0 3
BP PD PTS 2 34 10 0 17 4 0 -51 0
ON THE BOX SATURDAY 11am Sky Sports 2 AUSTRALIA V NEW ZEALAND
Bosses reject plans for rugby revamp
Premier League, were still yet to deliver any formal proposal. “We do not see any benefits for Sanzar and we have also expressed our strong disappointment to those involved that approaches were made to players in the Sanzar countries without the courtesy of informing the Sanzar member unions,” Tew said. Tew said Sanzar unions had discussed the concept with its Super 15 teams – who gave overwhelmingly negative feedback due to the potential impact on pre-season preparation – with unions and teams both concerned about the impact on player welfare.
Southern Hemisphere rugby chiefs have moved to block the establishment of a proposed Twenty20-style tournament in South Africa from 2012. Sanzar – the combined unions of South Africa, New Zealand and Australia – last week said they would not support or endorse the competition, which would be played before Super 15 starts. Sanzar officials recently met with South African tournament organisers who have sounded out players from around the world to take part without International Rugby Board support. Sanzar boss Steve Tew said organisers, trying to model their competition on the Indian
Tonight “ proved again
Ben Creagh gets held up
NEWS & SPORT
why I am not a fan of it and personally, I don’t think the game should be
Dragons coach Wayne Bennett has never been a fan of golden point and nothing’s changed.
Jarryd Hayne EELS The Parramatta star has been doing his best to turn his side’s fortunes around on his own, and he continued his blistering form against the Bulldogs. He scored two tries in the first six minutes – one in the first set of the match – and had a hand in two more.
THE TABLE Team Dragons Panthers Tigers Sea Eagles Roosters Warriors Titans Rabbitohs Broncos Eels Raiders Knights Bulldogs Cowboys Sharks Storm*
P 18 18 18 18 17 18 18 18 17 18 18 18 18 18 18 18
Dragons 10 B Creagh try J Soward 3 goals
Bulldogs 16 W 13 11 11 10 10 10 10 9 9 9 8 7 6 5 5 10
L 5 7 7 8 7 8 8 9 8 9 10 9 12 13 13 8
PD PTS 188 30 97 26 0 26 74 24 5 24 -21 24 -25 24 77 22 41 22 -12 22 -50 20 -88 18 -29 16 -151 14 -188 14 82 0
Monday night game Broncos v Roosters
Round 21 games
Bulldogs v Rabbitohs, Eels v Roosters, Tigers v Sharks, Panthers v Cowboys, Storm v Raiders, Warriors v Titans, Broncos v Dragons, Knights v Sea Eagles
11 Titans K Gordon A Laffranchi tries S Prince goal M Rogers field goal
Mat Rogers potted a field goal in the final minute of golden point extra-time and may just have salvaged the Titans’ premiership hopes in the process. With his side in danger of dropping out of the top eight with a loss, Rogers popped out of dummy-half and
B Barba B Kimmorley A Ryan tries B Goodwin 2 goals
* Storm are unable to earn points this season as punishment for salary cap breaches
Titans win thriller
32 Eels J Hayne 2 K Inu 2 B Smith tries L Burt 6 goals
Parramatta star Jarryd Hayne continued his hot form, singlehandly blowing the Bulldogs out of the water in the first half as the Eels took a 28-4 lead into the break. The Dogs showed some fight after the restart but a stripping penalty near their line allowed the Eels to steady. Storm 18 M Duffie D Nielsen J O’Neill tries C Smith 3 goals
10 Panthers M Jennings A Purtell tries M Gordon goal
In a frustrating, error-ridden affair, Storm skipper Cameron Smith kicked a conversion from the sideline with just over 12 minutes remaining to give his side a 12-10 lead, and then winger Matt Duffie sealed the result with a try one minute from full-time. Rabbitohs 38 F Talanoa 2 B Falloon N Merritt E Pettybourne C Sandow J Simpson tries C Sandow 5 goals
knocked over the one-pointer with just 50 seconds left on the clock. With the scores level following a rugged 80 minutes, both sides traded wayward field goal attempts in extra-time, though no opportunity was more clear-cut than Rogers’ simple shot from close range. It was a gutsy win for the Titans, who were missing representative pair Greg Bird and Ashley Harrison. Raiders 20 D Vidot 2 T Waddell tries J Croker 4 goals
13 Sharks B Pomeroy K Snowden tries S Porter 2 goals T Barrett field goal
Canberra remained in the hunt for a spot in the finals after an unconvincing win over Cronulla in a spiteful match. Even with the motivation of playing for new coach Shane Flanagan – after Ricky Stuart walked out on the club – the Sharks couldn’t find enough grit when it mattered. Cowboys 28 L O’Donnell 2 W Tonga W Tupou A Watts tries J Thurston 4 goals
24 Knights A Uate 2 B Rogers C Vuna tries K Gidley 4 goals
Will Tupou emerged as a hero after the Cowboys snapped a four-game losing streak with a tense golden-point win. Tupou tiptoed along the sideline in the third minute of golden-point time to plant the ball in the left corner in the biggest highlight of his 10-game NRL career.
Sea Eagles 38
L Brown 2 J Latimore J Maloney M Vatuvei tries J Maloney 4 goals
J Lyon 2 B Farrar K Foran S Rodney G Stewart tries
A second-half masterclass from halfback Chris Sandow enabled Souths to snap a twomatch losing streak. Sandow inspired his side with several explosive plays in the second half, which turned the match and scuttled the Warriors’ chance to move into the top four.
20 Tigers B Ayshford C Heighington R Lui L Tuqiri tries B Marshall 2 goals
A 22-point haul from skipper Jamie Lyon helped Manly recover from a horrid start to beat Tigers in a fiery encounter. Manly piled on 18 points in 12 first-half minutes to take control, through converted tries to second-rower Shane Rodney, five-eighth Kieran Foran and Lyon.
Lance Franklin gets wrapped up
There’s “ a blade of
NEWS & SPORT
grass in it … to cop such a severe penalty
Hawks coach Alastair Clarkson on the interchange bungle that consigned his men to a draw.
Hawks held to draw Saints 14.3.87 A Schneider 3 J Koschitzke 3 S Milne 3 N Riewoldt 2 B McEvoy J Steven Z Dawson
13.9.87 Hawks L Franklin 5 J Roughead 3 M Osborne 2 B Whitecross C Rioli C Young
After playing out a thrilling draw with the Saints, the Hawks were left ruing a bungle on their interchange that cost them a late goal. The Hawks were poised to go 13 points up with two minutes left at Etihad Stadium but, after Hawthorn defender Grant Birchall Magpies 19.13.127 L Davis 4 A Didak 3 B Macaffer 3 L Brown 3 D Jolly 2 C Dawes D Beams D Swan S Pendlebury
6.9.45 Tigers J Riewoldt 2 A Collins A Graham B Cousins D Martin
Collingwood ensured they stayed top of the ladder with a thumping win over Richmond, banging on six goals to two in the first quarter to snuff out any possible Tigers challenge. Brownlow Medal fancy Dane Swan continued his outstanding season, picking up 37 touches. Roos 18.11.119 A Edwards 4 B Warren 3 A Swallow 2 L Greenwood 2 L Hansen 2 B Speight G Urquhart H McIntosh L Adams T Goldstein
18.14.122 Bombers K Hardingham 4 K Reimers 3 A Davey 2 A Monfries 2 J Neagle 2 J Watson 2 S Gumbleton 2 T Colyer
The Bombers led for most of the night before the Roos rallied at the end of the third term and then hit the front early in the last. But Essendon, with coach Matthew Knights forced to confront speculation about his job security, steadied and then held on for a vital win. Bulldogs 24.14.158 B Hall 4 J Grant 3 R Griffen 3 B Lake 3 B Johnson 2 L Picken 2 B Moles 2 S Higgins 2 A Cooney D Giansiracusa E Wood
12.4.76 Dockers M Pavlich 4 A McPhee N Fyfe G Ibbotson P Hasleby R Palmer H Ballantyne J Crichton M Johnson
Cats 19.13.127 G Ablett 5 S Johnson 4 T Varcoe 4 C Ling D Wojcinski J Corey J Kelly J Podsiadly M Stokes
9.10.64 Lions J Brown 4 A Cornelius B Fevola M Leuenberger T Banfield A Proud
Geelong were never threatened by an insipid Lions outfit that has now lost 12 of their past 13 games. The Cats’ midfield ran riot, Joel Selwood leading the way with 41 touches. But the supporting cast of Gary Ablett, James Bartel and Paul Chapman were also excellent. Eagles 11.17.83 M LeCras 3 A Hams 2 B Ebert 2 J Kennedy 2 A Embley A Strijk
15.19.109 Blues E Betts 3 J Garlett 3 C Yarran 2 J Waite 2 M Murphy 2 C Judd L Henderson S Hampson
West Coast led by 20 points midway through the third term and looked set to notch their second successive win, but the Blues piled on the next nine goals of the match to snatch the lead and then pull clear. Carlton midfielder Marc Murphy was best afield. Demons 22.10.142 B Green 5 L Dunn 3 L Jurrah 2 M Jamar 2 N Jones 2 A Davey A Wonaeamirri C Bruce C Morton J Frawley J Watts P Johnson T Scully
THE LADDER Team Magpies Cats Saints Bulldogs Dockers Hawks Blues Swans Roos Crows Demons Bombers Lions Power Tigers Eagles
P 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 16 17 17 17 16 17 17
W 13 13 12 11 11 9 9 9 8 7 6 6 5 5 5 4
L 3 4 4 6 6 7 8 8 9 9 10 11 12 11 12 13
D 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0
% 140 145 120 138 112 108 106 105 86 94 94 85 79 78 71 78
PTS 54 52 50 44 44 38 36 36 32 28 26 24 20 20 20 16
Sunday night game Power v Crows
ON THE BOX FRIDAY 10.30am ESPN
BOMBERS V SAINTS
A Goodes 4 J White 3 J McVeigh M Pyke T Richards
SATURDAY 5am ESPN
The Demons’ late-season revival continued with their best win of the season, thumping Sydney, who will likely play finals, by 73 points. Colin Sylvia and Brad Green starred for the Demons, who seized control of the game with eight goals in the first quarter.
MAGPIES V BLUES
SUNDAY 5am ESPN BULLDOGS V ROOS
Other Round 18 games Power v Hawks, Lions v Demons, Swans v Cats, Tigers v Crows, Dockers v Eagles
The Bulldogs bounced back from a turbulent week in emphatic style, thrashing the Dockers to replace them in the top four. With Ryan Griffen and Adam Cooney dominant through the middle, the Bulldogs booted nine goals in the first term and the Dockers never recovered.
infringed in the interchange area, a goal to Cyril Rioli was disallowed and the Saints were awarded the ball and a 50-metre penalty. It proved decisive, as the Saints rushed the ball forward, allowing skipper Nick Riewoldt to kick a behind; and then, with 12 seconds left, ruckman Ben McEvoy took possession out of a ruck contest and kicked the goal that levelled the scores.
CATS All season, the talk about Ablett has centred on his mooted move to the Gold Coast and his form has suffered mildly for it. But, against the Lions, Ablett delivered a timely reminder of his star quality, booting five goals.
GENERAL Smith is leading the race for the world title
NEWS & SPORT
“Australia had a dog of a day against Pakistan simply because they are no longer very good and are even, at times, plain ordinary.” Scyld Berry, writing for the Daily Telegraph, after Pakistan skittled Australia for 88. The Poms are far more likeable with their spirits crushed. “The writing was on the wall on Saturday night when I saw a different bunch of players to what I have over the last four years.” Cronulla Sharks coach Ricky Stuart quits after another poor showing.
Smith still riding high
“We do have a World Cup in New Zealand next year, and maybe it was the right thing for them to win the games so they can attract more people.” Springboks coach Peter de Villiers suggests his side’s recent losses to New Zealand were part of a conspiracy to boost World Cup ticket sales. Idiotic.
South African surfer Jordy Smith last week claimed his first ASP tour win at Jeffreys Bay near Port Elizabeth and, in doing so, took the lead in the race for the world title.
“I feel gutted. Stripped bare, taken apart, stripped of everything I thought was important in a football club.” Jason Akermanis (below) on being sacked by the Western Bulldogs. He was a bit stiff in the end.
Gunners revise Schwarzer offer Arsenal have stepped up their push to lure Aussie goalkeeper Mark Schwarzer to the north London club by offering him a player-coach role. Schwarzer’s mooted move to Arsenal stalled two weeks ago when Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger indicated his club was no longer interested in signing the Fulham keeper. But Arsenal see Schwarzer as a short-term solution to their problems, following the lack of consistency from Lukasz Fabianski and Manuel Almunia last season. Arsenal can also provide Schwarzer with the added attraction of
Champions League action. The sticking point appears to be money, with Arsenal initially offering £2m, which was rejected by Fulham. Arsenal have reportedly tabled a follow-up £4m offer, but it’s unlikely any deal will be signed off until Fulham appoint a new manager. Schwarzer, 37, has been a key figure in Fulham’s resurgence since joining in 2008. Previously, Schwarzer was at Middlesborough from 1997-2008 – he played 367 games there, making him the longest-serving foreigner at any Premier League club.
all your heroes and people you idolise and the next thing you are competing against them.” Smith, 22, will take a few weeks off before heading to the next competition at the famous Teahupoo break in Tahiti at the end of August. “I’m going to go out and have some fun with my friends, then get ready,” Smith said.
Smith beat Australian Adam Melling in the final to soar to the top of the standings; Aussie veteran Taj Burrow is in second, ahead of nine-time
world champion Kelly Slater. “To be chasing the lead and defending the lead are two different things. It’s a long year ahead and you can’t count anyone out until it’s over. I’m going to enjoy this feeling for now,” Smith said. “It was a dream but now it has become a reality. It’s weird because, growing up, you see
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CAREERS & MONEY 50
CAREERS CAREERS & MONEY
Although I had little experience in the recruitment industry I found it to be a smooth transition as I was working with a great team who offered their full support and guidance. What do you do day-to-day?
My day consists of sourcing the right candidate for the right temporary positions available and recommending candidates to my senior consultants for interviews.
ON THE JOB KRISTY SUTHERLAND Career Associate Consultant, Australasian Talent Company Age 28 Lives Battersea, London From Christchurch, New Zealand How did you get into your line of work?
When I moved over to London, after spending 12 months in Dublin, I was lucky enough to be offered a position at the Australasian Talent Company.
The best part about my job is that I get to deal with all types of people, including fellow Kiwis and Aussies – it makes me feel like I’m not so far away from home although I’m living on the other side of the world. It’s great to speak to those who have just arrived and see how excited they are. What’s the most challenging thing about your job?
Making sure that I offer my full support to the team to ensure their day runs as smoothly as possible.
OFFICE GURU Samantha Baden
TACKLES YOUR CAREER DRAMAS
What are career transition services? Career transition services are designed to assist employees who have been made redundant. Hays manager Catherine Goosem says specifically, this service often helps people to regain confidence, deal with significant change and the
What’s the best thing about your job?
associated emotional issues, as well as consider their future career options. Career transition services also help people in the search for a new role, which can include career guidance and CV or interview advice. Usually, those running the service will meet face-to-face with those who have lost their jobs.
Kiwi unions unhappy N
ew Zealand union representatives have criticised the government’s proposed employment law changes, claiming they undermine fairness at work. The Kiwi government is planning a raft of reforms including widening the 90-day trial scheme under which workers can be fired with no right of appeal and the trading of holiday entitlements. Council of Trade Unions president Helen Kelly described the reforms
as “a massive attack on the job security of every New Zealand worker. “We have only recently got four weeks annual leave and it is a backward step to put one week up for sale. Workers short of money will be tempted to cash in such leave when what they really need is a pay rise.”
Mayoral candidate Ken Livingstone implored Boris Johnson “to put jobs and employment back at the top of City Hall’s agenda” after new figures showed joblessness is rising faster in London than in other parts of England.
Graduate jobs have been hit so hard by the recession that almost 25,000 British grads remain out of work after finishing their courses last year. At some universities, as many as one-in-four graduates have been unable to find work.
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CAREERS & MONEY
WHERE DOES YOUR DOSH GO?
Banks tight with savers igh street banks are offering instant savings account customers a pathetic rate of interest, a survey by Moneyfacts.co.uk has found. Despite offering a virtually obsolete rate of less than 1 per cent, many banks hook in existing customers who could find a better deal elsewhere.
EASY MONEY Laura Adcock MAKES YOUR CASH GO FURTHER
for us to offer anything higher over a shorter period.” However, Egg and AA offer far better value with a savings rate of 2.8 per cent, so it’s worth shopping around. Check Best Buy tables – try which.co.uk – for instant access savings accounts and remember to read the small print.
AMAZON SELLS FOOD
STERLING ON THE UP
Online retailer Amazon is rivalling supermarket delivery services by offering 22,000 grocery products. The main attraction is currently the lowcost annual rate of £49 for unlimited deliveries. Goods are currently relatively expensive but are expected to get cheaper.
Bad news for Europe; good news for those travelling from the UK – the exchange rate against the Euro increased further after Portugal had its debt rating slashed. The pound moved up to €1.20 after fears that Portugal was failing to manage its finances properly were announced.
Any tips for making your money go further in London?
If you’re low on clothes, Primark is a good option. With regards to drinking, it’s an idea to look out for cheap deals; lots of pubs have happy hours after work. Any expenses that you didn’t anticipate when you arrived?
Accommodation: I had to spend a month in a hostel. I wish I had known about all the dossing websites and that there are quite a lot of short-term flats available. Biggest spending weakness?
I am the worst cook so I spend a lot on buying lunch, takeaway dinners etc. I also spend a lot of money over the weekend when I go out drinking – which I am also definitely trying to cut down on!
LIVE FAST; DIE YOUNG We’ve all wondered how to make a fast buck, and these drug lords prove crime really does pay. Those who can’t grow a moustache need not apply … » Colombian Pablo Escobar in the ‘80s. Surgeons who (left) controlled four-fifths of the world’s cocaine market at his peak, averaging about £30bn per year. » Amado Carrillo Fuentes, aka the “Lord of the Skies”, became one of the world’s most wanted coke traffickers
botched a procedure to alter his appearance in 1997 were later found in oil drums. » Khun Sa disappeared into the Burmese jungle in the 1960s with 800 men to build his heroin enterprise. He lived in luxury until his death in 2007.
London: home to the West End. If you love going to the theatre, comedy nights or one-off shows but find the cost is draining your resources, there is an answer. Sign up to myboxoffice.biz and you will get to see a huge variety of shows and events virtually for free – a £3 admin fee normally applies. Submit your interests and you’ll receive an email when something suitable arises. It is often at short notice (i.e. same day) because the tickets are released to ensure theatres are full. Or if there’s a specific show that you’re itching to see, you can save up to 50 per cent at tntmagazine.com/theatre.
HSBC offers rates below the base rate on its flexible saver, at just 0.05 per cent. A spokesperson for the bank justified its low rates: “Our advice to savers is that if you can tie any money up into a savings account, try to do so for between 12 to 24 months. At the moment it is difficult
Job Team Administrator From Palmerston North, NZ Lives East Acton Age 28
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CAREERS & MONEY
CANDIDATES NEEDED FOR TEMPORARY ROLES
tntjobs.co.uk BEST OF THE WEB CASTLE HOTEL HUNTLY SCOTLAND UK www.castlehotel.uk.com Small 4 star family owned country hotel in beautiful rural setting close to train and bus stations.
JOB OF THE WEEK: Experienced Waitresses Location: Huntly Salary: £6 - £7 per hour Recent finalists in DRAM awards and received a commendation. We are seeking friendly efficient staff for employment up to 02nd January 2011 when we close for three weeks. Eighteen Bedrooms busy bar/restaurant. Linda J Meiklejohn | 01466 792696 | firstname.lastname@example.org
VANILLA CATERING AND EVENTS T: 01489 589275 www.vanillacatering.co.uk
JOB OF THE WEEK: Experienced Chefs - All Levels Location: Swanwick, Southampton and offsite venues Salary: £23,000 - £30,000
Event Company based on the River Hamble, Southampton. We specialise in weddings and corporate parties at various venues in Hampshire/Dorset.
Experienced Event chefs required. Knowledge of bespoke menu planning, ordering, stock control & food preparation using only fresh produce. Computer literate. Must work weekends. Please forward CV. Sally Pickles | email@example.com
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JOB OF THE WEEK: Field Marketing and Promotional Staff Location: London Salary: £7-£10ph
We run promotional campaigns for a variety of clients and are always looking for good staff, particularly from the antipodean market.
From product sampling and data collecting to door hosting and nightclub promotions. Must be outgoing, confident and friendly. Flexible hours, shifts available all week, pay £7-£10ph. Team Leader opportunities! 020 7240 1115
LOFTY CREATIONS UK LTD T: 0208 743 9253 www.loftycreations.co.uk As a specialist loft conversion company we pride ourselves on our down to earth and pragmatic approach, our very high standards, competitive rates and speedy time schedules.
ORIGIN LTD T: 01524 34100 www.origincare.com Origin provides live-in carers in the homes of young adults with a spinal injury. The work is varied and rewarding. We provide free training, good rates of pay and paid holidays.
REST ASSURED WE CARE LTD T: 01483 481000 www.restassured-wecare.com We are a specialist live in care agency providing care to mainly elderly clients across the South East of UK.
JOB OF THE WEEK: Fitter Location: West London Salary: £50K - £60K We are looking for a full time Loft Fitter to join our West London Loft conversion & extension company. You would be expected to work with sub contractors and to client’s expectations. Customer service is incredibly important to us, if it isn’t for you please do not apply. Enclose a CV, references and availability to: firstname.lastname@example.org
JOB OF THE WEEK: Live-in Carers/Personal Assistants Location: Nationwide Salary: Start on £504 per week We require 5 live-in carers/Personal Assistants to fill current positions. You will have an out going, friendly personality and be able to work under the direction of the client. Typically people who do this job are educated, independent and happy to work in one-to-one situations. No experience necessary - can do attitude essential. John | 020 7617 7894 | www.origincare.com/careapp
JOB OF THE WEEK: Care Worker Location: Surrey Salary: Up to £568 per 7 day week We urgently require female care workers who can help elderly clients with day to day living including, cooking, companionship, housework, laundry, and with some clients assistance with personal care and medication. If you are a kind, caring and patient person who can drive we can offer you a rewarding and well paid job. Both long and short term work available. Call now for more details. 01483 481000 | email@example.com
LOOKING FOR YOUR NEXT JOB? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact the TNT sales team| 020 7341 6767 | firstname.lastname@example.org
COMING & GOING ACCOMMODATION There are Antipodeans and South Africans calling all parts of London home, but generally they tend to head west (Acton, Shepherd’s Bush, Fulham, Hammersmith), north (Dollis Hill, Kilburn, Willesden Green) or south (Clapham, Southfields, Tooting). For listings see tntmagazine. com/accommodation. Dossing Offer to chip in £5 a night minimum. Hostels Expect to pay at least £10-£25 a night. Sharing You can share a room for about £50 a week, while a room to yourself will start at around £80 a week. Going it alone A bedsit or studio is at least £150 a week. Bills Bills can include phone, gas, electricity, water, council tax and a TV licence. Bond This is usually a month’s rent. You may also have to pay one month’s rent in advance. Leases You may need to sign a lease, which will typically run for six or 12 months.
ASK THE EXPERTS Robyn Cory EXPERT, 1ST CONTACT
I am a 34-year-old social worker with an Aussie passport and a five-year work permit from 2008 when a local authority in London sponsored me. I want to move to another UK city for a while before I go home but am concerned that it may be hard to get another employer to sponsor me and be a lot of hassle. What options do I have and is this a realistic move or am I destined to be stuck with my current employer until this current work permit runs out in three years?
From November 2008, the UK Border Agency introduced the new Tier 2 scheme to replace work permits. Your prospective
employer will need to demonstrate that they hold a sponsorship licence, prior to being able to sponsor foreign nationals. Work permit holders are eligible to switch to the Tier 2 from within the UK, provided the foreign national meets certain criteria under the Tier 2 visa. To get a Tier 2 visa you need to score 70 points under the points-based system through providing documentation showing your earnings, qualifications, English skills and other requirements.
» For more, see 1st contact.com. To ask a question about getting started or moving on email email@example.com
you want, though it’s usual to give a month’s notice and help find someone to move in. Pay and cancel your bills
Namely council tax, internet, phone, gas, electricity, TV, gym membership, insurance. Settle overdrafts and credit cards Any defaults on bank
payments will be filed with a credit reference agency (making it difficult for you to set up an account or rent a flat if you return), or you could receive a County Court Judgement.
EMPLOYMENT Getting a job doesn’t have to be an impossible task. Register with a couple of agencies, the cream of which advertise in TNT and at tntjobs.co.uk. Most recruitment agencies handle specific sectors: IT, banking, finance, secretarial, legal, medical and teaching are the broad categories. Make an appointment to see a consultant, and take your passport, CV and references with you. Some agencies will help you open a bank account.
NATIONAL INSURANCE You need a National Insurance (NI) number to work in the UK. Call 0845 600 0643 to make an appointment to apply for one. Some NI contributions go into a State Second Pension (S2P). You can contract out of this and direct the money into a private pension fund instead. You’ll need to do this before the end of the tax year or your contributions will be lost.
TNT’S TOP TIP Choose an area of London you don’t know and explore it on foot at the weekend
» Email your tips to reality firstname.lastname@example.org
TNT online Check out tntmagazine.com/ movingtolondon if you’re on your way, tntmagazine.com/ leavingtheuk if you’re going.
MOVING ON CHECKLIST Resign from work How
much notice you need to give your employer will depend on your contract (usually two weeks to three months). You must give at least one week’s notice if you’ve been in your job for a month or more. Give notice on your flat
Check the conditions of your Tenancy Agreement. If you want to leave before your lease is up you may be liable to pay until new tenants are found. If you’re living in a sharehouse and haven’t signed a contract, you can move out whenever
The UK tax year begins on April 6, and if you work only part of the tax year you should get some tax back. The tax threshold is £6475 per year – so if you earn less than this, you won’t pay any tax. You’ll need a P45 (when you leave a job) and a P60 (at the end of the tax year). If you’re leaving the UK and won’t work again before the end of the tax year, you can claim a rebate by filling in a P85.
SHIPPING Get plenty of quotes, checking sizes and whether customs and tax charges are covered. For sea freight (which should take no longer than 12 weeks to arrive) you’ll pay about £80£150 for your first box – less for suitcases – and £30-£90 for additional boxes.
CAREERS & MONEY
Want to see some of Europe’s most amazing places for FREE, make new mates & have the time of your life? From 1 – 7 August, we're looking for a group of 18-35s to come & help us out as talent on our next European photo shoot. We're not looking for models, we're looking for adventure-loving explorers who really embody the spirit of Contiki Holidays.
Keen to join us? Send us a short email telling us why you think you'd make a perfect face of Contiki, plus your age, ph number & 4 photos which clearly show your face. You must have a valid passport, it’s essential that you’re free to travel between 1 – 7 August & we'll need you to come into our offices for a quick meet & greet on Wednesday 28 July.
If you think you fit the above criteria please send through the above information to email@example.com by 5pm 27 July.
th Annual Travel Writing & Photography Awards ENTER YOUR WORK to be judged by our panel of travel journalists and photographers for a chance to win a share of great prizes. PLUS have your work published in a special edition of TNT Magazine and exhibited at the TNT Travel Writing and Photography Awards ceremony. Enter now for your chance to win a share of prizes, including: ■ Three Day Italian Adventure Tour for two ■ Busabout Flexitrip Passes ■ EPL1 New Generation System Camera with Double Zoom Kit and retro camera bag
In association with 2010 SHOT OF THE WEEK YOUR LONDON Building on History - Stacey Price
TRAVEL GLOBAL VISION A fisherman tries his luck after sunset at the Liptovska Mara dam, near the city of Liptovsky
Mikulasin, Slovakia. The dam is a popular summer destination for many local, Polish and Czech sports fishermen.
Photo by Joe Klamar/AFP/ Getty Images
Derry’s future is bright, but its fascinating murals recall its bloody past WORDS JANINE KELSO
Derry-Londonderry NORTHERN IRELAND
WAR AND PEACE While on a walking tour with guide Martin McCrossan, from Derry City Tours, my eyes are drawn to a huge painted image of a schoolgirl, who stands alongside a broken rifle. This is Annette McGavigan, who was killed by crossfire in 1971, at the age of 14. When the fresco was first painted, the rifle next to her was intact, but it was repainted with the broken rifle in 2006 to reflect the fact that peace has reigned in the city since the early 1990s. “We will never allow Derry to go back to the bad old days,” says Martin. BLOODY SUNDAY A wall emblazoned with the slogan: “You are now entering free Derry” marks the spot where Catholic residents put up barricades to stop the Royal Ulster Constabulary from entering in 1969.
Annette McGavigan, killed by crossfire in 1971, at the age of 14
ecently named the UK’s first City of Culture for 2013, Derry is forwardlooking and vibrant. But the city’s promising future belies a bloody past, reflected in the harrowing paintings which adorn the walls in Derry’s Bogside. Clutching a Molotov cocktail and wearing a gas mask, the chilling figure of a boy brought to life in a mural on an endterrace wall is a creepy reminder of Derry’s turbulent history. Painted by talented local artists, this fresco is just one of many in the Bogside area, each one bearing testament to the role Derry played during the ‘Troubles’: the conflict between Catholic nationalists living on the city side and the Protestant pro-British loyalists residing by the waterside. From the civil rights turmoil of the 1960s to the horrific events of Bloody Sunday in 1972, Derry (or Londonderry if you’re a pro-British loyalist) has seen much bloodshed.
SHORT BREAK NEED TO KNOW
Another mural records an event that is regarded by the people of Bogside as the most tragic day in Derry’s history. The image shows a group of terrified men carrying an injured comrade through the streets while an armed soldier gazes on. This was the scene of January 30, 1972 when Derry hit the headlines all over the world in an event branded Bloody Sunday, when British paratroopers opened fire on a group of peaceful unarmed protesters, shooting dead 14 people, six of whom were only 17 years old. The British establishment covered up the nature of the protest, claiming the marchers were gunmen and bombers. Since then, the people of Derry have campaigned tirelessly for the truth to be made public. Prime Minister David Cameron recently apologised for the atrocity and said that the people shot 38 years ago were unjustifiably killed. The apology came 12 years after the Saville inquiry was launched into the events of Bloody Sunday, costing £200 million. “The people of Derry were delighted,” Martin says. “It’s like a cloud has been lifted from the city.”
59 Justice: crowds cheer as David Cameron apologises for Bloody Sunday
CRAIC ADDICT Although tensions have eased and peace has reigned for several years, there are still reminders of the sectarian divide. While the Catholic Bogside area is plastered in political murals, Union Jack flags are ubiquitous in the Protestant region, where kerbstones are painted red, white and blue. That said, enjoying a Guinness and traditional live music later that night at lively pub Peadar O’Donnell’s with its Guinness posters and stuffed animals, no one seems to care which side of the tracks you come from, as long as you’re up for a mighty craic.
» Janine Kelso travelled with Shamrocker Adventures (08450 267 507; shamrockeradventures.com) on the Northern Rocker tour, which travels to Derry, Belfast and the Giant’s Causeway. It recently won ‘Best Visitor Experience’ at the Northern Ireland Tourism Awards. Shamrocker also runs three, five and seven day trips throughout Ireland, departing from Dublin.
Derry city centre
TNT online For a full travel guide on visiting Northern Ireland go to tntmagazine.com/travel
A FAN-FECKIN’-TASTIC CRAIC LINGO GUIDE
Janine Keslo / TNT Images
WHEN TO GO Any time. Winter is mild, summer is sunny. GETTING THERE Ryanair flies direct from London Stansted to Derry from £9. GETTING AROUND Derry’s main sights are easy to explore on foot. Hire a car at easycar.com/tntmagazine for a five per cent discount or find a tour at tntmagazine.com/ toursearch. GOING OUT A beer costs about £2.80. Derry BELFAST ACCOMMODATION Dorm rooms cost NORTHERN IRELAND from £11 a night. DUBLIN
In Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland, “feck” is not a swearword, it is the f-word’s polite cousin. “You can say ‘feck’ to a priest or your granny and it won’t cause offence,” says Shamrocker guide Murf. Irish folk use “feck” to express displeasure and they particularly like using it in the middle of a word, such as abso-feckin’-lutely or fan-feckin’-tastic. Meanwhile, the ‘craic’
describes how much fun you’re having. Take note of the following scale: THE CRAIC WAS GRAND: you had an OK time. GOOD CRAIC: a nice time. MIGHTY CRAIC: a really good time. SAVAGE CRAIC: an amazing time. THE CRAIC WAS NINETY: you had fun within safe operational limits. THE CRAIC WAS LETHAL: you’ve overdone it and will spend the day suffering.
Spend four days at the worldfamous beer festival Oktoberfest during the opening week for £152 with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours.com). Includes hostel accommodation, breakfasts, experienced Travel Talk staff, Oktoberfest t-shirt and welcome party. Departs September 17. Three nights in Copenhagen with Lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271) costs £165, including three-star B&B accommodation and flights. Departs August 22. A fun-filled weekend on the Isle of Wight is £104 with Tracks Travel (0845 1300936; tracks-travel.com). Includes return coach and ferry, dinner, one night’s B&B accommodation and sightseeing. Departs August 7. Explore the Belgium city of Bruges for two nights with Flight Centre (0844 800 8628; flightcentre.co.uk) for £135, including return Eurostar and four-star accommodation. Quote: BRULONPAC2. Valid for travel until August 29. Offer ends August 15. Paris for two nights with VFB Holidays (01452 716 831; vfbholidays.co.uk) for £198, including B&B accommodation and return Eurostar. Offer ends August 1.
DEAL OF THE WEEK
DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily. There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations. Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.
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An eight-day Croatia sailing trip with On the Go Tours (020 7371 1113; onthegotours.com) is £399. Departs August 21 and 28. Excludes flights. A 16-day tour of Egypt & Jordan is £447 (saving £192) with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours.com). Visit Cairo, Aswan, Luxor and more. Departs August 7. Seven nights in Chamonix is £418 with Inghams (020 8780 4454; inghams.co.uk), including seven nights’ halfboard accommodation and flights. Departing throughout September. A 15-day tour of Egypt is £302 (reduced from £335) with Topdeck Tours (020 8987 3300; topdecktours.co.uk), including a felucca trip, accommodation, transport, Abu Simbel, Valley of the Kings and more. Departs August 21 and 28.
A 13-night holiday to Cuba is £739 (saving £500) with The Holiday Place (020 7644 1747; theholidayplace.co.uk), including 10 nights in Guardalavaca and three nights in Havana. Departs August 11. Seven days’ van hire (seats five) is £510 with Wicked Campers (0808 234 8461; wickedcampers.co.uk), including insurance, unlimited mileage and roadside assistance. A 14-day tour of Europe is £934 (saving £140) with Contiki (0845 075 0990; contiki.com). Includes Paris, Florence and Venice. Quote: HIGHLIGHTS1007. Departs August 1. A 13-day tour of Mexico and Guatemala, from Cancun to Antigua, is £574.20 with Tucan Travel (020 8896 1600; tucantravel.com). Excludes flights. Departs August 22.
*All fares are ex-London, unless otherwise stated.
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Tour Europe for 15 days for £680 with Topdeck Tours (020 8987 3300; topdecktours.co.uk). Includes accommodation, ferry, most meals and city tours. Quote: TDSUMMER. Departs August 16.
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TNT Weekender Malta MEDITERRANEAN
Set between Sicily and Libya, the islands of Malta are popular for their sandy beaches, party scene, ancient cities and yearround sunshine; plus they’re just three hours from London.
TNT Images, Getty Images
HEADLINE ATTRACTION Start in the capital, Valletta, a walled city founded by the Knights of St John, a military order that ruled Malta from 1530 to 1798. Take a trip on the water to see the magnificent city, or head to Upper Barrakka Gardens for a panoramic view.
Malta, the biggest and busiest; sleepy, rustic Gozo; and tranquil Comino, with its famous Blue Lagoon, a popular day’s sailing trip. On Gozo, wander around the capital, Victoria, and enjoy the view from its imposing Citadel. Take a boat trip from Dwejra to the towering arch of the Azure Window. And check out the Ggantija Temples – dating back to 3500BC, these are among the world’s oldest structures. This is also the place to get outdoors. Cycle the coastal paths, take the plunge and go scuba-diving, or explore the numerous options for rock climbing.
BEST OF THE REST The Maltese archipelago consists of three main islands:
CHOW DOWN Thanks to centuries of invasion, the country’s cuisine is varied, yet bursting with Mediterranean flavour. Head to Valletta Waterfront for the best eateries. Try rabbit stew or bragioli – spicy beef rolls – for the complete Malta experience.
GET THE CAMERA OUT For a taste of medieval Malta head to Mdina. The silent, dusty alleyways with their decorative
doorknobs and covered balconies have barely changed since the Knights of St John made the city their capital.
TRY THE LOCAL TIPPLE While away the evening drinking the local Marsovin wine, which is pretty cheap and very drinkable.
A BIT OF HISTORY Over the past 2000 years, Malta has been colonised by the Greeks, Romans, Byzantines, Arabs, Spanish, French and British. It gained independence in 1964, but evidence of its conquered past remains, from the similarities between the national language, Malti, and Arabic, to the status of English as an official language.
AND A RANDOM FACT Malta has provided a backdrop for many movies, including Troy, Alexander, Gladiator and The Da Vinci Code.
NEXT WEEK RIGA
TNT online For a full travel guide on visiting Malta go to tntmagazine.com/travel
NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO Malta is sunny and cool in winter, and hot and dry in summer. GETTING THERE You can fly direct to Malta from London. Air Malta (airmalta.com) has return flights from £99. VISAS South Africans need a Schengen visa. CURRENCY Euro. 1 GBP = 1.18 EUR. LANGUAGE Maltese, but everyone speaks English. GETTING AROUND Yellow buses are cheap and reliable. Taxis are another good option. GOING OUT A beer costs about ¤3.50. ACCOMMODATION Dorm beds start from ¤10, but there are very few hostels on the islands. Hotel rooms start from ¤25.
Love vintage clothes and burlesque? Leave behind the Eiffel Tower and unveil Paris’s edgy side WORDS ALEXANDER JAMES
here’s a flurry of peacock feathers and a shimmy of thighs in stockings. But it’s not a drag night in Soho. Instead I’m standing at the home of burlesque in Paris; a venue named ‘Lido’. Burlesque is not as hyped in the French capital as it is in London or Sydney, but the City of Light is its romantic home. The penchant for scantily-clad beauties parading in lingerie began in Paris’s cabaret venues more than 100 years ago. Now, as the craze for burlesque and all things vintage reaches new heights, it seems the right time to trace the footsteps of these glamorous but often exploited performers.
NAUGHTY BUT NICE At the peak of Parisienne bohemian splendour in the
19th century, the opulent tableaux vivants (living pictures) at the Moulin Rouge gave way to the lavish theatrical Grande Revues at the music hall Casino de Paris, which still stands at Rue De Clichy, and Folies Bergere, at Rue Richer. These shows were the height of risqué, where you could see courtesans perform in negligible lingerie, and became the scandal of the world. “By WWII and the occupation, many of the theatres had been closed, but in the post -war era, it did have one glamorous HQ: The Crazy Horse Saloon,”
GOING UNDERGROUND More edgy than climbing the Eiffel Tower or battling the crowds at the Louvre, delving into underground Paris is an experience that most visitors sadly miss.
I meet a burlesque star called Gentry De Paris, who lives in Paris. She’s performed with Kylie Minogue and Dita von Teese (right), and runs a burlesque school in the capital. “In the golden days of striptease, cabaret stars were never fully naked, like now. Those crystal covered g-strings preserved our modesty. It may seem relatively innocent by modern standards. But it was the real deal back in the day and extremely naughty,” she says.
Bout ique buys : Bast ien De Almeida
says Gentry. The Crazy Horse still stands with a regular “nude revue”, and you’ll still see costumes covered with feathers and crystals at the Moulin Rouge and other authentic venues, such as Lido.
TIME TRAVEL The other venue that exudes the trappings of the golden age of burlesque is Maxim’s. Sited on the rue Royale, the legendary restaurant is famed for its art nouveau interior décor and over the years has attracted a slew of dignitaries and celebrities, from Edward VII to John Travolta. It was the most fashionable club among the aristocrat set, a place where people would dine on fine cuisine before heading to the underground shows, and today the service is as faultless as it was in its heyday. If the budget doesn’t stretch to a visit to Maxim’s, the winding narrow streets of Montmartre still hold the same charm as they did 150 years ago. There are still cobblestones, the original streetlamps, and kiosks advertising shows. You’ll come across the dining houses of the courtesans who played at the Moulin Rouge, Casino de Paris and Folies Berger and, in the bathrooms of Lapérouse restaurant you can still see scratches
65 Legendary: Moulin Rouge
on the mirror left by women testing the authenticity of diamonds that were offered to them as payment. Seeing all the sights and smells of a bygone Paris inspires a taste for bygone times. The flea markets of Porte de Clignancourt hold some great bargains in vintage clothing, while the Paris burlesque set favour boutique Bastien De Almeida (bastiendealmeida.com).
FEMME FATALES If you fancy learning the seductive theatrics of burlesque, Paris has a school dedicated to the craft, run by Gentry De Paris, called École Supérieure de Burlesque. “We turn Plain Janes into Femme Fatales,” Gentry tells me. I ask her if she can do the equivalent to men. “Why? Do you want to sign up?” she asks. I decide to save that for another trip.
NEED TO KNOW
WHEN TO GO Paris is worth visiting all-year round, but go in summer to bathe in the beaches of the Seine. GETTING THERE Eurostar (eurostar.co.uk) travels from London St Pancras to Paris in two hours. Fly with budget airline Jet2.com, from £45 return, or Air France (airfrance.co.uk) from £95 return. GETTING AROUND The underground metro system is fast and effective. VISAS South Africans need a Schengen visa. CURRENCY Euro. 1 GBP = 1.18 Euro. LANGUAGE French. GOING OUT Half a pint is £3. ACCOMMODATION One night in a hostel starts at £15, hotels start at £70, or about £80 to stay PARIS in vintage era FRANCE Hotel Aviatic (aviatichotel.com). SEE en.parisinfo.com.
A DECADENT PAST
Jos Serur Yedid
BURLESQUE AND THE MOULIN ROUGE La Belle Epoque, which describes a period in European history from 1895 to 1914, was a heady era marked by increased wealth, peace, and artistic freedom, best described as bohemian decadence. Courtesans performed to the wealthy who had found a new taste for naughtiness at Le Moulin Rouge. The cabaret venue became the birthplace of provocative dances such as the cancan. The infamous dancers even attracted the attentions of artist Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, who sketched them mid-act. Built in 1889, Le Moulin Rouge’s decor still retains its original grandeur today. For information about touring the venue, see moulinrouge.fr.
So can ya?
HOTSHOTS Hayley Madden TALKS TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHY
WINNER DALT VILA, IBIZA Allan Collins Wellington, New Zealand
Allan has crammed in the flat rooftops and white walls of this town into his image, and with the sharp sunlight creating strong shadows together with the angle of view, it gives an almost Escher-type illusion. This effect is enhanced by completely filling the frame, using a long lens, back-to
-front sharpness and ensuring no one element overpowers any other. HOT TIP: Strong, harsh shadows can give a great graphic effect. They define edges and give separation to different planes but they do need to be used with caution as they can be unflattering to natural subjects.
RUNNER-UP ANNULAR ECLIPSE – VARKALA, INDIA Clare Ritchie Perth, Australia Claire has captured an ethereal image of this lunar eclipse. The sun’s rays radiate to fill the whole frame and lead the eye up to the moon. The placement of the two focal points gives a sense of harmony. The slight colour cast from the rays adds to the spiritual atmosphere.
» Allan wins a three-day tour of Scotland for two valued at £198 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com; 0131 557 9393).
HOT TIP: Be careful when having the sun in the frame. Try not to look directly at the sun through the view finder. Use a polarising filter (it will act like sunglasses for your camera) on the lens to protect your CCD or film. » Claire wins a photography course from Nigel Wilson Photography (020 7793 8664; photographycourses.org.uk) valued at £60
HOW TO MAKE YOUR PHOTOS STAND OUT
THEME: JUMPING First Sunrise of the Year, Gisbourne, New Zealand by Slew Yee Hoong Jumps are great to photograph as we can never see them in detail in real time. There is a lovely sense of joy in this silhouette as it greets the rising sun.
WHY THIS WORKS: 1 The comical position of the subject’s limbs suggests a bounce of glee rather than an ecstatic leap. 2 The jumper’s low position in the frame makes them seem insignificant compared to the majestic rise of the sun. 3 The sun appears to be peering over the landscape to look at the worshipper. 4 The gentle diagonal of the shore and the open hands point the viewer up to the sun. 5 The vertical format emphasises the feeling of rising.
HOT TIPS: 1 Background is especially important for jump shots. Your subject will appear to be leaping into or over whatever is in the background. 2 Do a countdown and practice first to get the timing right. 3 Get down low to make the jump seem really high. 4 Use a small trampoline and a blow up mattress to land on for adventurous jumps. 5 Use a fast shutter speed (select sports mode on your compact) for sharp images.
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TIPS Galapagos Islands’ wildlife
READERS’ TIPS GET STONED
One of the highlights OF of the Isle of Lewis THTIEPWEEK in the Outer Hebrides is the Callanish Standing Stones, which are more atmospheric and isolated than Stonehenge, and admission is free. There’s also a visitor centre.
Sarah, via email
YOU ASKED FOR IT Tom Hall FROM LONELY PLANET
If you want to experience local culture and save money, check out helpx.net. It’s a website that gets travellers in contact with people who need volunteers in exchange for accommodation and food all over the world. You can work for as little as two hours a day in some beautiful castles, hotels, vineyards, and farms, and meet amazing local people. Suzy, via email
My husband and I are travelling through South America for three months. We want to go Cuba and the Galapagos Islands but we can’t find a cheap way to get there. Natalie, via email
Thailand is so easy to travel around it’s almost too straightforward. Trains can take you north and south from Bangkok to the main jumping-off points for the islands, and where they don’t exist tourist buses pick up the slack. These services are generally offered by several travel agencies who between them sell enough seats to fill a bus. You can find these services on routes that locals aren’t particularly interested in travelling, such as crossing from coastal towns like Surat Thani on the Gulf of Thailand coast to Phuket, Krabi or Khao Lak. These buses are often sold in connection with boat transport onward to an island and, in some cases, use routes better suited for this than simply aiming for a big t own. So like pretty much anything else when it comes to Thailand, there’s an easy solution – all you have to do is relax and enjoy the view. If you’re still in Thailand at the end of December note that transport and hotels will be busier around the end of the month and over new year, so book ahead at this time.
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When putting together an itinerary of flights you may be better off putting in place the spine of a route and then adding in diversions to Cuba and the Galapagos, the arrangements for which you source locally. Talk to an expert like RTWFlights.com about possible permutations. Because there is an embargo on trade between the US and Cuba there are no passenger flights between the two. Your best option would be to start with flying into Mexico City and flying in and out of Havana from there. Try CubaLinda (cubalinda.com) for fares and bookings. From Mexico City you can travel through Central America or fly onward to South America. There is no overland route between Panama and Colombia, so you’ll need to fly this anyway. Don’t try to do the Galapagos on the cheap; you’re going all that way to visit somewhere truly special. Regular readers may remember I have been less than effusive about these islands in the past. I stand by what I said that you can have a better time for less on the mainland, but as an iconic place I concede they have a certain cache. Perhaps, Natalie, you’ll send me a postcard telling me what you think when you get there.
I am planning a month-long trip to Thailand. I want to go to Khao Lak, Koh Samui, Koh Lanta, and Koh Phi Phi andI will be flying into Bangkok, so which order should I visit these places? Lisa, via email
Visit Dublin by coach
SEAT SALE Airline AirAsia X has announced its latest lowcost premium fares. Promo fares, which start from £699 from London to Kuala Lumpur, can be booked until August 1 for travel between August 2 and November 15. Flatbed fares start from £206 from KL to Perth, Melbourne and the Gold Coast. See airasia.com.
DATA DANGER Holidaymakers have been warned to be more security conscious after a survey found more than half of travellers were in danger of losing personal data on holiday. Hostel chain Generator Hostels found travellers were exposed to the risk of having sensitive information hacked or stolen because they were accessing unsecured wireless internet connections to get online.
Tourism Ireland, TNT Images
TOUR DISCOUNTS Intrepid Travel is offering 21 per cent off all tours that depart by September 30, 2010 to celebrate its 21st birthday. Save £193.20 on its 15-day Colours of Morocco tour, which now costs £726.80. See intrepidtravel.com.
Coach operator Eurolines has launched a service from London to Dublin. Operating from now until September 5, coaches will leave London Victoria at 6.30am from Monday to Friday, arriving in Dublin at 6.10pm, via a trip on Irish Ferries, from Holyhead. Fares cost from £61. See eurolines.co.uk.
A FINE OLD TIME IN ITALY Tourists have been warned about running foul of bizarre laws around the world, notably in Italy, where 150 new public security measures – including bans on feeding stray cats and building sandcastles – have been introduced in recent years. A law implemented in Vigevano, near Milan, forbids people from sitting in the shade at the foot of a local monument – much to the surprise of a local couple who were fined ¤160 each. Travel search site Skyscanner has highlighted some of the most unusual laws around the world to help tourists stay out of hot water. If you head to the beach resort of Eraclea, near Venice, don’t build a sandcastle – it’s strictly forbidden. Meanwhile, Capri in northern Italy
has seen a ban on ‘noisy footwear’. A couple were arrested recently for wearing excessively noisy flip-flops. And if you’re spending a romantic holiday in Eboli, south of Naples, don’t kiss in a moving vehicle – you could face a fine of up to ¤500. Meanwhile, a curious loophole in the law in Amsterdam means that smoking tobacco in a public place such as a coffeeshop is banned, while puffing away on cannabis is purely legal. When in Switzerland, don’t flush the toilet in an apartment after 10pm because it’s illegal. It is also against the law for a man to relieve himself while standing up after 10pm. Finally, unmarried women who do a parachute jump on Sundays in Florida could be jailed.
Travellers love Tenerife Tenerife has topped a list of the 10 most popular islands among travellers in summer 2010, according to research by hotel price comparison website trivago.co.uk. The largest of the Canary Islands, Tenerife is home to the third largest volcano in the world, Mount Teide, 350km of coastline and beautiful beaches. Cyprus, Majorca and Gran Canaria in Spain, and Jersey in the Channel Islands, were among the top five. Gran Canaria is popular with hikers who like to tackle the 2000m
Mount Teide, Tenerife
TNTMAGAZINE.COM MOST POPULAR DESTINATIONS 1 Spain 2 England 3 Croatia 4 France 5 Germany
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high Pozo de las Nieves mountain. Meanwhile, Jersey offers tasty seafood and long sandy beaches. Other destinations in the list included Crete in Greece, surfer’s favourite Lanzarote in the Canary Islands, O’ahu in Hawaii, Key West in Florida and Madeira in Portugal.
1 Egypt 2 Oktoberfest 3 Croatia 4 Morocco 5 Europe powered by
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ON THE ROAD
WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN
ON THE ROAD
Fort Punta Christo, Pula, Croatia September 2-5 Four days of dubstep and drum ’n’ bass in a ruined fort on the Croatian coast. Take your party onto the beach, out on a boat or under the stars.
VENICE HISTORIC REGATTA VENICE, ITALY WHAT: Part picturesque
parade, part über-competitive boat race, the Regata Storica begins as scores of 16th century-style boats take to the waterways. Soon afterwards, skilled rowers compete in a frenzied dash to the wild applause of spectators. Fireworks go off at midnight. WHERE: Race starts in the Castello area of Venice. WHEN: September 5, 2010 WHY: It possibly dates back
to the 13th century when the city needed to train its navy. DO IT BECAUSE: Venice is romantic and spectacular anyway, but the Regatta will blow your mind. HOW MUCH: It’s free, baby!
TNT online For more upcoming events, see our destination guides at tntmagazine.com/travel
WITH FRANKIE MULLIN
LOCK IT IN HALLOWEEN PARADE New York City Oct 31, 2010 halloween-nyc.com
TAR BARREL ROLLING Ottery St Mary Nov 5, 2010 otterytourism.org.uk
HOGMANAY THE BRAEMAR GATHERING AND HIGHLAND GAMES Braemar, Scotland September 4 A celebration of traditional Highland pursuits like bagpipe bands and throwing the hammer. Be warned, the Queen attends, so don’t expect wild revels.
VENICE CARNIVAL Venice Feb 25-Mar 8, 2011 veniceconnected.com
RIO CARNIVAL Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Mar 4-8, 2011 rio-carnival.net
THE TRAVELLER … Kurt Mossman, New South Wales, Australia What’s the weirdest travelling experience you’ve had?
When I decided to try pole dancing in Thailand. It seemed like a good idea until I saw the pictures on Facebook. Where’s your favourite place?
Turkey. I was really surprised by how friendly the people were. Which country has the hottest girls?
Lauren Pratt from Perth, Australia, at Wimbledon
Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a day trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £90. » Email your pictures to email@example.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.
I’ve got to say Turkey again. They’re tanned and beautiful!
VisitScotland/ScottishViewpoint, Getty Images
Where in the world?
Edinburgh, Scotland Dec 31, 2010 edinburghshogmanay.org
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ROUTE 66 WHAT: Known as the Mother Road, Route 66 is the USA’s most famous highway and is best tackled on a Harley or in an open-top car. Begin in Chicago, Illinois and finish up in Santa Monica, California, for a journey that will take you past the Great Lakes, deserts, open plains and coastline. Stop at diners for creamy malt shakes and juicy hamburgers along the way. SEE: national66.com
CUBA WHAT: Most holiday packages to Cuba combine Havana and tourist-trap Varadero, but if you want to really get a real feel for the country, hire a car and visit time warp towns such as Trinidad, where you can stay with a local family in a Casa Particular. Take the A1 out of Havana, and finish at the pristine beach Playa Ancon. SEE: cuba-junky.com
IRELAND WHAT: Discover pristine beaches and untouched countryside in Ireland’s tranquil southwest peninsula. Stop at Killarney National Park to marvel at its waterfall, and drop in at a friendly boozer on the way for a cheeky Guinness. SEE: discoverireland.ie
SCOTLAND WHAT: Drive through the magical Scottish Highlands along the mythical Road to the Isles from Fort William to Mallaig. Expect towering mountains, wildlife, spectacular sunsets and first-class fish restaurants. SEE: visitscotland.com
BASQUE COUNTRY WHAT: The picturesque coastal drive from Bilbao to San Sebastian is one of the best in Spain. Along the way see Mundaka, a legendary surf spot, and Sopelana, which has a tranquil nudist beach if you like getting your kit off. SEE: spain-info
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The best part of my job is ... getting new ideas for places to visit and seeing parts of the world every day – even if it is through my PC screen. And the worst part is ... not being able to go on as many trips as I'd like. My favourite UK city is … Nottingham – my hometown and where I still live. The shops, restaurants and nightlife are fantastic and we live next to Wollaton Park, where deer roam around a huge lake. My favourite place in the world is … Tayrona National Park on Colombia's Caribbean Coast. You can hang your hammock between posts under a bamboo roof and get back to nature in a stunning environment. My most memorable travel experience was ... doing the highest bungee jump in the world off Bloukrans bridge in South Africa, or skydiving over Mount Cook on New Zealand's South Island, or diving with manta rays and humpback whales off Coral Bay, in Australia. The next trip on my travel wishlist is … India. I always pack … a spare credit card that I keep separate from my wallet in case I get robbed or lose it.
JANINE KELSO GIVES A HIGH FIVE!
E W R E E B
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Oktoberfest MUNICH, GERMANY
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ktoberfest has been referred to as ‘Disneyland for drinkers’, once or twice, or just ‘Beerfest’ for anyone who can’t get their head around the fact this epic Bavarian beer festival is actually held in September. Whatever the time of year, resign yourself to 1) the fact you’ll get drunk, and 2) the fairytale ending: thanks to the purity of the beer there’s no hangover in the morning.
LAGER LOVERS The Disneyland analogy is no offhand remark. There are definitely some striking parallels, and presuming old Walt was a staunch lover of lager, he’d surely concur from his grave. If there’s nothing fantastical about a giant fair centred on six million litres of liquid gold – served to
Legal tender : the only type of breast that it’s ok to touch
Bavarians: They’ll drink you under the table
jolly punters by strong, buxom wenches – to a backing track of trombones and tubas, with pork knuckles, giant barbecued chooks and fresh pretzels for sustenance, all day, every day for two weeks, then I don’t know what is.
COP AN EYEFUL Mickey Mouse antics even come into play: there’s the dancing atop the famous benches of Oktoberfest’s 14 beer halls to the tunes of the oompah bands, and hoisting a brew in a toast intoned to the guttural notes of Ein Prosit. If there’s proof beer makes people do
Every Bavarian “ is worth engaging with over a stein
silly things, take a leaf from the book of a strapping 6ft Kiwi who bribes Katja, a Bavarian lass, to swap shirts. A whip around with his mates raises 100 Euros, Katja’s shirt comes off, she titillates the boys and then walks away swimming in a man’s t-shirt, but with a handful of 10 Euro notes (or beer tokens as they are sometimes referred to). Kiwi strides away a hero, but with a t-shirt that cuts off the circulation to his tree-stump arms and exposes his midriff for the rest of the day. The boys should have known better,
NEED TO KNOW
A RIGHT ROYAL SHOW Oktoberfest began as a celebration of King Ludwig I’s marriage to Princess Therese in
Reuters, Getty Images, AP/Press Association Images
WHEN TO GO This year’s Oktoberfest runs September 18 to October 4. GETTING THERE Budget airlines fly direct to Munich from London. Otherwise book a package in the UK from an operator such as Gobus. GETTING AROUND Munich has a reliable public transport system. VISAS South Africans need a Schengen visa. CURRENCY Euro. 1 GBP = 1.18 Euro. LANGUAGE German. GOING OUT A stein (1 litre) could knock you back ¤9. ACCOMMODATION Hostel rooms cost from ¤30. SEE oktoberfest.de/en.
though, as there are cheaper ways to cop an eyeful of breast. Bavarian dresses, known as dirndls, have the effect of propping bosoms up into bulbous orbs that spill over the top of the lacy frocks. This traditional dress is de rigueur for local women, but increasingly visitors are looking the part, only their dresses are significantly hiked up at the skirt and cut low at the chest, making a man’s attempts to drown out immoral thoughts nigh on impossible. That aside, whether it’s the ladies in their dirndls or men in their lederhosen, every Bavarian is worth engaging with over a couple of steins because, if nothing else, you’ll learn some pointers on how it is that when everyone else is floored, they’re still charging until the final splutter of a brass instrument. Find an Eva or an Arno to regale you with the origins of Wiesn, the Bavarian name for Oktoberfest.
5 DAY Fly
1ST WEEKEND / 17-21 SEP
FULL PRICE £529
4 DAY Fly
2ND WEEKEND / 24-27 SEP
5 DAY F Fly
FULL PRICE £499
FULL PRICE £449
* Return ﬂights from London * Hostel accommodation at Wombats in Munich within walking distance to the beerfest grounds * Welcome drink * Busabout/Oktoberfest souvenir t-shirt * Services of your experienced Busabout Guide * Day tour to Neuschwanstein Castle & Swan Lake * Air conditioned coach transfer
OKTOBERFEST & VOLKSFEST! 3RD WEEKEND / 01-05 OCT
EVERYTHING ON THE OTHER WEEKENDS PLUS
* 1 night accommodation at Hotel Espenlaub/Hotel Mack in Stuttgart Orientation walk in Stuttgart * * Visit the beerfest in Stuttgart Cannstatter-volksfest Table booking and meal at the * Groups of 4 or more SAVE 5% Cannstatter-volksfest (2 litres of beer + half chicken) Groups of 10 or more SAVE 10%
08450 267 514
HURRY, LAST DAYS! OFFER MUST ENSTD JULY 31
ROPE BOOK A EU DAYS 14 R TRIP FO ER G N LO OR EE R F A T E G & ST E F OKTOBER * ! TRIP
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*Terms and conditions apply. Subject to availability. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Book a Topdeck Europe trip 14 days or longer and get a free HTBCO between 24/9/10 or 30/9/10 departures exclusively. Must be booked between 1/7/10 - 31/7/10. Both trips must be booked at the same time. Not transferable. Not refundable. No cash value. Cancelling the Europe trip makes the offer null and void. Topdeck reserves the right to withdraw this offer at any time.
10,000 people and where, on September 18 this year, the Lord Mayor will drive a tap into the first barrel of Oktoberfest brew at noon and declare the festival open. This ritual follows a parade of brewers, bands and dancers through the grounds. Proving their discern for a delectable drop, Bavarian brewers must adhere to a ‘Purity Order’, which dictates water, barley and hops are the only ingredients in their beer. The drink is brewed exclusively for the fest, and has at least a 5 per cent alcohol content, and is sometimes as high as 6 per cent. If you don’t drink beer you’re wasting your time, really. But if you can’t resist the fun, a couple of wine
tents will whet your whistle. And back to Disneyland’s famous fairytale endings: well, after one, two, three … seven, eight beers, everyone looks like a sexy Cinderella and plucky Prince Charming. Try your luck.
» Travel to Oktoberfest with Gobus [thegobus.com; 020 7471 6400] from £219. They also offer group tours to Egypt, Morocco, Turkey and Russia, Croatia sailing and a host of top European festivals for the budget conscious traveller.
NEXT WEEK: VESPA SAFARI Tour rural Spain on a scooter
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Day after day of drinking 100 per cent naturally fermented beer with six million other festival goers cannot satisfy your soul forever. That is why you need to break away from Oktoberfest, head to the Holy Mountain above the eastern shore of Lake Ammersee in the middle of Upper Bavaria’s Five Lakes Region, and discover the Andechs Monastery – where you can drink more beer. The monks, possibly bored of reading realms of ancient text all day, found a noble pastime: brewing the strongest beer in the universe to perfection. The monastery at Andechs was founded in 1455 and evidence suggests the monks started brewing beer a few hours later. Apart from beer, they serve the best pork knuckles in the world. PVN There’s even beer at Andrech s Monastery
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FULHAM FOOTBALL BE AT CRAVEN COTTAGE FOR THE START OF THE NEW PREMIER LEAGUE SEASON! ■ Fulham FC v Manchester Utd SUN 22 AUG 4pm £60 ■ Fulham FC v Wolverhampton SAT 11 SEP 3pm £37 ■ Fulham FC v Everton FC SAT 25 SEP 3pm £39
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croatia sailing Hop on-board a traditional Croatian cruiser with its local crew and Busabout Guide for an adventure around the Dalmatian Coast.
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ABTA, ATOL & AITO bonded - 100% protected holidays. Best accommodation - properly rated 4 & 5 star hotels. Legendary Egyptologist guides - travel with Sam & Sherif! No compulsory ‘single supplement’ - we’ll match you up with a travel mate. RAMDIDES G P U L E No ‘local payment’ - only entrance fees & EE EHROLOTOKING ATPHPELIEPSYJURLAY/AUGUST R F A T E G SE OBEROI - OV tipping kitty en route. OU seasonal supplements may apply H A N 5* ME H CT ED OLIDA
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LA TOMATINA JOIN PP AT THE CRAZIEST AND LARGEST FOOD FIGHT IN THE WORLD 24-26 August – great value tours from just £125!
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AUGUST BANK HOLIDAY BREAKS SAT 28TH - MON 30TH AUGUST 2010 BELGIUM Tour Includes: Two nights B&B hotel accommodation in the beach side resort town of Ostend, famous for it’s nightlife, visit to Brugge, Brussels & Antwerp, return luxury coach travel, return cross channel ferry & services of an Anderson Tours Tour Manager.
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PARIS & CHAMPAGNE REGION Tour Includes: Return coach travel & return cross channel ferry, 2 nights B&B hotel accommodation, entrance to Taittinger and Pommery Champagne Houses including a glass of champagne at each visit, plenty of free time & services of an Anderson Tours Tour Manager.
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To advertise your property call 020 7341 6767 sharing LEYTON Double room for 1 person in new refurbished friendly SA/AUS/NZ house. £85pw incl bills. 5mins to tube. 15mins to Liverpool St. Sky, internet, 2wks dep. call 07960 443 723/07984 182 888.
CANADA WATER House share. Double Room £475pm, All inclusive Sky, Internet, cleaner ph. call 07779106374.
VITALISE HOMESHARE ly EEK on
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Flatshares. Large single rooms £125pw. Twin rooms from £75pppw. Includes bills & WiFi.
Rooms to let, short and long term, rent from £90 - £150pppw. Single & Double Rooms. Flats and houses to rent for groups of 3-8. Area’s covered: N1, N4, N8, N11, N15, N17, N18 & N21. Azad Ayub Limited, 36 Wightman Road London N4 1RU. t: 020 8348 3135 m: 07956 131 310 e: email@example.com www.CheapestRoomsLondon.com Why Hostels in London? Private House Cheaper than Hostels! Rooms near Tube Station Fm £55/week Single Rooms from £75 | Double from £90 | Shared rooms from £55 • Bills included • Fitted kitchen & free WiFi • Safe and secure areas. • Minimum 2 months’ stay
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Hot South African in Southfields: I spotted you
on Monday evening, July 12 across the road from my house (I’m new to the area), chatting with mates and having a smoke. I think you live at number 25a. You were wearing a grey T-shirt. I can’t help but look up into ya lounge window each day for the chance of a glimpse but no such luck. Email me at email@example.com and you can give me the local tour :-) Mez: It’s simply not the same without you! We need you back to do Londony things and drink lots. Tasmania can live without you, but Steph can’t! Come back next year so we can party like it’s 1999. Love, the Plough Lane girls. My dearest pork pie: I have so much to say … but I’ll keep it short. I love you with all my heart, you and I have come a long way … We have that special love that only most can dream of. You are the chewing gum in my life that’s always stuck to my shoe, you’re always here and never let go, you are my best friend, my princess and my soul mate and you turn my darkness into light, and every breath that I take, I want to take it with you!! So let’s start our journey and make our dreams come true … Mandy … WILL YOU MARRY ME?? Love your Honey Bee ;-) Aussie guy in and around the UK between July 20 till early August: Hi people, I am an
Australian guy who is no stranger to travel – I visited lovely NZ a few years back … great place. I went to Ireland
post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email firstname.lastname@example.org
last year. I am visiting Manchester on July 19, then London on July 20 for just under a week. Hoping to return to Ireland before going home. I know how hard it can be to meet people while travelling. If anyone is around the area and is interested in catching up or doing some exploring please give me a yell. Thank you :-). See tntmagazine.com/seeking. Mr Metcash: Thank you so very much my honey for working seven days a week to get us extra cash. I really appreciate your hard work (not just spending the cash!). Love you so very much always and forever, your Super. English boy waiting for the bus at Clapham Junction after your night at The Grand on Saturday, July 17: I was
waiting for the N31 to take me north of the river, you were waiting for the 37 to Herne Hill with your ‘ginger’ mate. My bus turned up and I left in a hurry. You were funny and cute and I wish I had hung around or at least given you my number … even if just to stop you throwing yourself in front of a bus. If this was you,
email email@example.com. WMG Part 2: No more sad
trombones … Maybe leave a bit earlier to get to the airport this time! It’s been fun having you round for another week but you are the weakest link – GOODBYE! See you in Oz some time … Love, El Capitan and the Castilians. Missing my snuggle-bunny:
You’ve gone on your travels and left me behind. I miss you like crazy. Hurry up and come back ehmK. Love you more than chin … x Where are you Barry?: We staggered upon you in the fields of Rock Werchter but alas our fun times came to an end when we lost you. We miss you and have your shirt, it fits really well. Email us at barry.where.is.barry@gmail. com so we can continue the partying. 19 year-old Aussie keen to get to know many new fun people: Hey there :-) I’m
a 19-year-old single South Australian Aussie. I’ve been in London almost three months now. Loving it but would be great if I had some new mates to explore the city/country with. I’m working as a live-in
Desperately Seeking is a reader forum, and all messages should be within the spirit of the page; TNT cannot take responsibility for offence caused. No phone numbers can be printed. Messages may be edited for publication. See tntmagazine.com/seeking
nanny at the mo so I’m super keen to meet new people – all ages, sex, and cultures, and get outta the house. I don’t drink or smoke but I love a great night out or a great night in. I love the beach, sport, travelling and just having a good ol’ laugh. If I strike your interest, email firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll get back to ya. x Bye bye London: It’s time to farewell, the last 10 years have been awesome. I am going to miss the hustle and bustle and the crazy parties. I will miss you London! Su. Smart-arse: See, I was right – chicks love it! In your face bro ;-) Mohahahaaaaaa. Dakker. Kiwi Hannah, the journalist at Pamplona: Hi, I was in
Pamplona at the camping area the other week and met a girl from New Zealand on Thursday night, July 8. You were wearing a beautiful red dress and you had long black hair. Your name was Hannah, you’re 23, a journalist and gorgeous. My name is Bobby and my email address is amouzandeh_666@hotmail. com. I’d love to hear from you. Kimberley: Congratulations babe, you’re now famous – you’ve made the TNT mag! The past three years in London have been amazing but it’s now time to head back to Oz. We’ve had some memorable moments and I’m so lucky to have spent them with you. Hope our final stint through Europe will be another blast. Love, your stinky sange. Tube Man: Four great years of life and laughs in London, can’t wait to head Down Under with you for the next chapter. All my love always, Bandicoot.
Need to send money between UK and home? r Cheapee than th banks*
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