August 13-19 2012 Issue 1511 tntmagazine.com
A ROW FOR Y OU AND 11 MAT ES TO SEE SARA CENS AT WEMBLEY
SUMMER SEND-OFF The world’s very best closing parties
A PISTE OF THE ACTION Mountain biking and glacier skiing in France
MORE THAN SKYSCRAPERS Blinging Dubai does have a past worth discovering
D R A T S A B D HAR
lls you how te r e p p o h C n’s eath Frankli H . p u k c fu toughen the + PREMIER LEAGUE KICK-OFF: You need to WHERE TO WATCH THE MATCHES
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“The best way to travel. Great guides, service and a fantastic experience. It was awesome!” - Justin, Egypt Explored, April 2012
y l u J f o h t 4 e h Born on t eck North America Introducing Topd
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Book by 31st August CALL 0845 257 5211 Terms & conditions apply: The 5% ‘Born on the 4th of July’ discount is valid for new bookings deposited between 4th July – 31st August 2012. Valid for travel until 31 March 2014. Discounts apply to product in the current North America 2013/14 brochure only. Discounts apply to the basic trip price only and do not apply to pre/post accommodation. Subject to availability. The 5% ‘Born on the 4th of July’ discount on North America trips can be combined with 2 other standard brochure discounts if applicable to a maximum saving of 15% with the exception of the Early Payment Option discount. Topdeck reserves the right to amend or withdraw this offer at any time. For full terms and conditions and information on discounts see www.topdeck.travel. ‘Win your trip for Free’, 3 lucky winners will win the cost of their trip back. An email with an entry question will be sent to all eligible entries no later than 7th September 2012 to enter you into the prize draw. The winners will be notiﬁed by 14th September 2012.
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EDITOR’S LETTER So long Olympics, hello football. For anyone who’s had withdrawal symptoms, the raft of matches will satiate your cravings. For where to watch the games, see P8. For our predictions, see P68 – let me know if you agree with us. For a world far away from the sports overload of the past few weeks, flick to our 21 pages of travel. From tent-free camping in the UK, to discovering Dubai’s history, it’s jam-packed with ideas. Enjoy!
THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY
MY LONDON DRINK & EATS
LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS
CHATROOM ED NASH LONDON SCENE SPARE TIME
HEALTH & BEAUTY
The English Premier League kicks off. We highlight the best pubs to watch it at
NEWS & SPORT
TOP FIVE COMPETITION
78, 81 80
TIPS & STUFF
48 HOURS IN...GALWAY
CLASSIFIEDS DESPERATELY SEEKING
Heath Franklin brings his version of Chopper Read to entertain London
GET YOUR KIT OFF
Men, fancy earning extra cash stripping? We speak to the experts and find out how
SOUTH AFRICAN TIMES
Our eight-page spotlight South African culture and entertainment in the capital
Mountainbiking and skiing on the beautiful slopes of Les 2 Alpes, France
BEYOND THE BLING
Everything from ancient free diving to drinks with TOWIE in glamorous Dubai
FINAL CONTENTS 1511.indd 3
EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Acting Travel Laura Chubb Entertainment Alasdair Morton Web Oliver Jones Social Media Dan Thorne
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Pop party comes to town DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Acting picture researcher Ruth Board DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Eddie Clinton Donovan Smith | Michael Fair Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events executive Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 16 Brune St, London, E1 7NJ tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7953 8469 Fax 020 7953 7957 Email firstname.lastname@example.org SALES ENQUIRIES
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Shhh... SECRET LONDON THE STORY OF POP WEEKENDER LONDON BRIDGE
Dynamic, pop-obsessed DJs New Kids On The Pop are intent on bringing your youth back to life through spinning the greatest tunes from your hazy memories. Yes, while Seventies and Eighties nights revelled in retro-nostalgia, now the Nineties and even the Noughties come under the spotlight, too, in this three-night, weekend launch party that’s set to spin all the greatest party and pop hits from Adam Ant and Boy George, to the Spice Girls and Lady Gaga. This weekend’s the first of a monthly residency for this DJ duo. £3
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Thurs, Aug 16. 9pm-2am. Aug 17-18. 9am-3am Belushi’s, 161-165 Borough High Street, SE1 1HR
SUBSCRIPTIONS AND DISTRIBUTION Caroline Penn 01603 559004
KITTY AND THE BULLDOG
All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.
Kitsch and cute are top priority in this exhibition. It examines how quintessentially British design and fashions, such as the studded punk movement and goth stylings, have influenced the Japanese ‘Lolita’ look, which has been embraced by legions and whose impact and reach has been felt worldwide. FREE
TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.
Until Jan 2013. Times vary V&A, Cromwell Road, SW7 2RL South Kensington vam.ac.uk
CHI COCKTAIL GARDEN
As part of the Shoreditch Fringe fest, Mexfest celebrates Mexican culture with a programme of movies, from rare sci-fi treats to docos to the opening night world premiere of Made In Mexico. There are also musical performances, a series of panels and talks and a Lucha Libre photography exhibition, to boot.
After the whirlwind storm that this summer’s procession of festivities and sports has been so far, Midori melon liqueur has teamed up with Chelsea’s stylish hangout The Phene to offer a haven of tranquillity in its Japanese Chi Garden. There’s a free drink on arrival and free massages between 6.30pm and 8.30pm.
Aug 17-19. Times vary Rich Mix, E1 6LA Liverpool Street richmix.org.uk
Aug 16-30. From 12pm SW3 5NY Sloane Square thephene.com
FINAL 1511 Lon Diary.indd 4
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They’d finally had enough of the fluroescent lights’ constant flickering
SCALA BEYOND Various
This ambitious film love-in goes beyond what other film festivals achieve – it is a nationwide event that celebrates movies and their various forms of exhibition (cinemas, pop-up screens, film fests, movie clubs) through a programme of eye-catching, genre-spanning events. There’s a creature double feature – King Kong Vs Godzilla and Matango at the Prince Charles, a celebration of Euro crime flicks, such as the Giallos, a Luc Besson double header (above), and a 16mm night. £10+
Aug 18-Sept 29. Times vary Various venues scalabeyond.com
ROYAL FAMILY OF STRANGE PEOPLE
LONDON IS THE PLACE FOR ME
Despite her skydiving with Bond the other week, Queen Liz and her royal buddies have got a long way to go if they are going to beat this lot – they have a man with the stretchiest skin of all time, for a start, which he shows in squirm-inducing ways. This cabaret show’s not for the faint-hearted.
This two-week festival looks at Trinidad and Tobago’s connections and fusions with Britain through food, literature, theatre, spoken word and music and dance. So there’s no shortage of cultural offerings here to entertain, with a subtext of historical and social interest, to put it in context.
Until Sept 27. 9pm/ 10.45pm Southbank Centre, SE1 8XX Waterloo wonderground.co.uk
Until Aug 25. Times vary Tricycle Theatre, NW6 7JR Brondesbury tribagovillage.com
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18-HOUR QUEUES FOR LAST 2012 TICKETS It was a last-ditch attempt to be a part of the Olympics, with tens of thousands of sportsfans camping for up to 18 hours for tickets. Hopefuls slept outside offices in Islington, Old Billingsgate and Alexandra Palace set up by overseas nations to sell tickets, which have to be sold at face value. Seats to watch Londoner Mo Farah go for double gold in Saturday’s 5000m final were the most sought-after. Tens of thousands of Olympic seats were still up for sale with just three days of events left, although many of these were in the highest-priced categories.
This has really made my day Team GB Nicola Adams makes something of an understatement after winning the first ever women’s boxing gold
LET THE OLYMPIC LEGACY BEGIN... No sooner have the Games come to an end, but the next event is being planned. Boris Johnson has announced an annual two-day cycling festival to begin next year. Taking place on Aug 3 and 4, the marathon-style event was launched with gold medallist Laura Trott and Gary Linekar. RideLondon will “inspire more Londoners to take to two wheels”, Johnson said.
ON THE TUBE KEEP MISSING
Olympic bill for mayor
Johnson hit with £90k from restaurant owner for Games downturn No doubt Boris Johnson will be waking up on Monday morning with an Olympic-sized hangover. However, his headache could get a little worse if other businesses follow the lead of Neleen Strauss. The South African restaurateur, who has worked in London for 10 years, has sent the London mayor a bill for £90,000 after revealing her turnover is 80 per cent down because of the Games. Strauss, owner of High Timber near St Paul’s Cathedral, said she held Johnson “wholly responsible” for the downturn. She added: “The dire prophecies of congestion and encouragements to work from home left City businesses empty.” Ms Strauss, who opened High Timber three years ago, said none of the massive
influx of tourists and increased trade heralded by the arrival of the Games to London had materialised. “The mayor’s posse of advisers have obviously not done their homework,” she said. “They went into overdrive to discourage City workers from coming into the office. But their warnings have been taken to heart by so many the City is dead, and many businesses are suffering terribly. “I hold the mayor personally responsible and expect him to make up the deficit in my loss in takings. After all, he’s the one who encouraged Londoners to leave.” The mayor said: “The Games are a once-in-a-lifetime experience ... obviously in some places the picture is mixed, but there is evidence of a significant upturn in spending in restaurants and theatres.”
THIS WEEK IN LONDON... It’s not quite business as usual, as we now gear up for the Paralympics (Aug 29 to Sept 9), which are set to be just as eventful as the Olympics. A record 2.1million tickets have been sold for the events being held across the UK, but more are due to go on sale this week, offering access to the stadium and park for as little as £10. One of the highlights is set to be the wheelchair basketball at the Basketball Arena on Aug 30, tickets for which are up for £15. London 2012 chairman Lord Coe said: “With the tickets sold so far and more still to come I look forward to even more people getting the chance to join in and to form memories that will last a lifetime.” See tickets.london2012.com
Vanessa Low will be competing
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Hair today: punks get patriotic supporting Team GB, with weird and wonderful ‘dos
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Man City will be looking to defend their title
It’s about to kick off The Premier League’s back so grab a pint and get behind the boys, it’s going to be the best season in years WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON It might seem as if Manchester City were picking up their Premier League trophy just a couple of weeks ago, but the new season is a week away, and, after last season’s spectacular climax, it is going to have a lot to live up to. Will United’s noisy neighbours continue their journey towards success and emerge the dominant force in English football? Will Southampton and the other new boys find a foothold among the elite? Will Joey Barton manage to get through the opening day without acting like a twat and then tweeting about it for no reason? To find out, there’s no shortage of pubs in London – the capital’s the natural home of the boozer, and you’ll find one on almost every corner of town. What is most striking, though, is the diversity of pubs, bars and venues on offer in which to catch the football. There are cosy corner pubs, proudly serving up real ale as you gather round the one and only TV screen. And then there are giant sports bars, complete with a hundred screens and pitchers of lager. London, being London, also has pretty much everything in between. 8
Jetlag, in Great Portland St, prides itself on offering a tech-tastic, luxury venue in which to watch the football, as venue director Scott Wilson tells us excitedly ahead of the new season. “The Lotus Lounge [the downstairs bar] has a high definition projector that throws onto a 15ft acoustically transparent screen,” Wilson says. “This is backed up by the 7.2 cinematic surround sound and some seriously comfortable sofas, and we also have two large flat screens on the ground floor with dining tables, too.” Combine this with a packed house of clamouring fans, and the atmosphere here is electric. Jetlag, though, is not just about its shiny, tech-fest indulgences. With an array of lagers and cocktail menus to add to its towering cinema screen, it’s a far cry from the traditional ‘beer and a burger’ combo. “The food is the second reason [people arrive]. We have a signature menu of international street food, from burgers to burritos, and we have a great variety of fresh food made on site with quality ingredients,” Wilson adds Sports Café in The City offers the
sports-mega bar experience, too, with no fewer than 100 screens to make sure you never miss a kick (See p10). But for those seeking a more intimate experience, look no further than any one of hundreds of pubs across the capital, Clapham’s Bison And Bird, for example, an Antipodean fave. Shoreditch’s Juno offers a bit of class and style in its own, inimitable east London way too, with table service and a ‘no hooligans’ policy. And then you can check out the action in Sky Sports 3D in any number of bars throughout the capital. After the climactic last day of the season, in which the Premier League moved across Manchester from the red half to the blue in the most dramatic of fashions, you can bet Fergie has been plotting his way to make amends this term. And there’s no better place than London in which to watch this showdown unfold. Bring it on.
FOR MORE SPORTS PUBS & BARS ›› The Premier League kicks off on August 18, live on Sky Sports and ESPN. Jetlag Bar W1T 6QB Great Portland Street jetlagbar.com
FINAL 1511 London Listings - Pre8 8
WATCH SPORT HERE
DJs ALL WEEKEND INCLUDING: JUDGE JULES SISTER BLISS NORMAN JAY NICKY ROMERO + COMPANY /thelarrikinn facebook.com
HT ALL DAY + NrrIG om ikinnfulham.c www.thela
QUIZ OPEN MIC LIVE MUSIC 8PM WEDNESDAY
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425 New Kings Road London SW6 4RN (2 mins walk from Putney Bridge Tube) /thelarrikinn 0207 371 9585 facebook.com email@example.com
ERY WED V E Y T R A P E R FLATSHA ALWAYS FREE ENTRY AY OPEN UNTIL 11PM SUNDAY-THURSD URDAY OPEN UNTIL MIDNIGHT FRIDAY & SAT
7-8 CAVENDISH PARADE LONDON SW4 9DW OPPOSITE CLAPHAM STH TUBE WWW.GIGALUM.COM 0208 772 0303 TNTMAGAZINE.COM
THE ALEXANDRA WIMBLEDON This cosy establishment in the heart of Wimbo has a passion for sport and four different bars to choose from: the lounge bar is the posh bit and can be reserved for parties; the Green Bar is the traditional heart of the pub; the Sports Bar, with its large roll down screen and plasmas, is where to catch any and all sports events; and the open air rooftop Terrace Bar has its own HD TVs as well. It does pretty awesome grub, too.
THE FAMOUS 3 KINGS KENSINGTON
Daily. 10am-1am, Fri & Sat 33 Wimbledon Hill Road, SW19 7NE Wimbledon alexandrawimbledon.com
The Famous 3 Kings, or F3K as it’s favourably known, is one of London’s largest sports pubs, showing events from all over the world, even including less televised sports, such as ice hockey, handball and golf. As of August 18, though, it’s all about the Premier League, and with 11 plasmas and two TVs coupled with six audio zones, F3K has the capacity to show 14 different games with six commentaries simultaneously. There really is no missing a kick here. FREE
CARLSBERG SPORTS BAR LEICESTER SQUARE Situated in the heart of the West End, the brand new Carlsberg Sports Bar is already a hit among British and foreign sports fans. It’s open 24 hours a day, and serves drinks all day, too, but a five-hour window of respite between 5am and 10am. There’s free entry, HD TVs and state-of-the-art screens galore, and the sizeable yet still intimate capacity of 200 always generates plenty of atmosphere, too. FREE
All day, every day WC2H 7NA Leicester Square
BISON AND BIRD CLAPHAM Two-for-one cocktail offers will help you relax, kick back and enjoy the footy at this Antipodean fave. It’s offers the Premier League combined with a little bit of premiere comfort, too.
Daily. 12pm-12am 153 North End Road, W14 9NL West Kensington facebook.com/famous.3.kings
THE FREEMASONS ARMS COVENT GARDEN
SPORTS CAFE WESTMINSTER What do you value more, quantity or quality? If it’s the former, then the Sports Cafe has more than 100 screens for you to choose from, so there is somewhere to watch your team, even if that team happens to be a random League Two-er. If it’s the latter that’s more important, then 92 of these screens are HD, and eight are personal screens in private booths, so you can watch your team without interruption. FREE
Daily. Mon-Sat until late SW3 5UZ Fulham Broadway thesportscafe.com
Daily. Until 1am Thurs, Fri & Sat 182-184 Clapham High Street, SW4 7UD Clapham Common bisonandbird.com
SPORTS BAR AND GRILL FARRINGDON One of three London locations for the bar and grill team, it serves grog, grub and screens, as well as providing the option to hire out your own group dining area so you can catch Super Sunday in style. FREE
Daily. Until 11pm 19-25 Cowcross Street, EC1M 6DQ Farringdon sportsbarandgrill.co.uk
Six HD plasma screens on which to watch your team. There is more here than just Sky, though, as this particular pub played a key role in the origins of football as we know it in this country – the Football Association was founded here in 1863. Grab a pint in where it all began. FREE
CAFE KICK SHOREDITCH
This west London pub has the usual – Sky, screens, lagers and food – and one of the biggest beer gardens in town.
You’d be more than a little disappointed if this place, with a name like that, didn’t show sports or they had a strict ban on trainers and football tops. This north London establishment lives and breathes the beautiful game – there’s HD TVs, a 3D one in the basement, a volley of table footballs tables, and happy hour daily from 4pm-7pm to get in the mood before kick-off.
Daily. Until 1am Fri & Sat W13 8PH Ealing Broadway draytoncourtlondon.co.uk
Daily. Until 1am Fri & Sat E1 6JE Old Street cafekick.com
Daily. Until 11.30pm, Mon-Thurs WC2E 9NG Covent Garden thefreemasonsarmscovent garden.co.uk
DRAYTON ARMS EALING FREE
FINAL 1511 London Listings - Pre10 10
THE LARRIK FULHAM
THE ALEXANDRA CLAPHAM
With top grub – platters on skateboards, chicken wings in buckets – and drink promos galore, this is a standout venue in which to support your team. There’s a massive projector screen, countless HDs dotted around the place, and even one in the garden by the BBQ. The Larrik even boasts its own 3D cinema room, The Shack, as well, giving you each and every option imaginable for watching the big game. Bring it on.
The Alexandra’s close proximity to Clapham Common Tube makes it a favourite among locals and those from further afield alike. Its recently refurbished Balcony Bar adds a new dimension to its traditional style of long wooden benches and cosy fireplaces, and with two nine-foot HD screens, it’s a trendy, bustling place to watch the footie with a brew. FREE
Daily. 12pm until late 425 New King’s Road, SW6 4RN Putney Bridge Road the larrikinnfulham.com
JUNO SHOREDITCH FREE This ast London pub brings a bit of style and class to the Saturday afternoon match. Football nights boast abundant seating, table service and a projector room for the serious enthusiast, as well as the sofa ‘n’ screen set up of the main bar. It’s civilised support, though, no chanting or hooliganism here! Retro games like PacMan will keep you occupied at half time, with comedy nights to cheer you up should a fourth-straight defeat leave you in tears. Times and dates vary SW4 7AA Clapham Common
THE WORLDS END CAMDEN
THE ELK FULHAM
This legendary pub has an various odd job Camdenites, a kicking rock and indie soundtrack, and shows the footy on its HD TVs. Rock ‘n’ roll football to stun even Ian Wright
FREE Open since 1961, The Refectory is an old favourite among younger north-west Londoners. With four flatscreens and Sky, ESPN and terrestrial channels, as well as comfy leather seating and a large and decorative outdoor area, its relaxed vibes makes it perfect site for sport-watching.
A 24-hour booze licence and Sky Sports on three screens, that’s what the Greenie offers. A beer house since the 1800s, the Green Man combines tradition (a wide range of beers and ales) with the contemporary (£2.90 a pint during happy hour).
The self-styled ‘funkiest bar in Fulham’ has the pretty damn ace The Big Smoke BBQ menu to help you enjoy the football and the (fingers crossed) Indian summer we are all going to enjoy – the real one’s been arse so there had better be a prolonged period of sunshine throughout September. There are all manner of drink offers, a large beer garden and each and every kick of the upcoming Premier League (as well as many other sports, too, for that matter). They also take bookings, so if you fancy getting a group together and want your own space to jostling for position all match long, then drop The Elk an email in advance.
Times and dates vary 911 Finchley Road, NW11 7PE Golders Green refectorypub.com
Daily. Until late 308 Edgware Road, W2 1DY Paddington thegreenmanhostel.co.uk
Daily. Until 11pm 587 Fulham Broadway, SW5 5UA Fulham Broadway elkbar.com
Daily. Until 1am Fri & Sat NW1 0NE Camden Town theworldsend.co.uk
THE REFECTORY GODLERS GREEN
THE GREEN MAN PADDINGTON FREE
Times and dates vary. SW4 7AA Clapham Common alexandraclapham.com
THE PRIDE OF SPITALFIELDS SHOREDITCH There’s no 3D TV here, no fancy retro gaming, or pop-up Thai cusine, either. No, what this no-frills traditional pub does excel in is its lack of fuss. There’s a screen to watch the game, ales and bitters behind the bar, and most of the food comes with chips. The Pride is so oldfashioned, it doesn’t even have a website. Yet. FREE
Daily. Until 11pm E1 5LJ Shoreditch High Street facebook.com/ prideofspitalfields
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RICH SIMMONS STREET ARTIST What baffles me about London is Boris Johnson. London’s best-kept secret? I live with an urban explorer, so I’ve seen a totally different secret side of London by hanging out with him. When I want to chill out I love going down to Brick Lane to see the street art and get tattooed. The most interesting person I’ve met in London was Prince Charles, who was a pretty fun guy to hang out with. It was one of the most surreal afternoons I’ve had, drinking Pimm’s with him at St James’s Palace. My favourite place for a drink is usually a gallery show opening, because of the great drinks you come across. If not there, out with my girl at whatever fun bar or club we stumble across. For when you’re hungover in London I really couldn’t tell you because I’ve never had a hangover. Guess I’m one of the lucky ones! What gets me up in the morning? I’ve always got projects on the go, whether it’s running NFP organisation Art Is The Cure, gallery shows with Imitate Modern or painting a bunch of football tables for el Jimador tequila, which was an interesting task. There’s always something different. The first thing I think of in the morning is what am I going to paint and whether there are any waffles left in the cupboard to go with my coffee. My perfect weekend would consist of getting away from the studio, seeing friends, going on an adventure and hanging out with my girl.
ARE YOU A FUN, BUBBLY, SOCIABLE PERSON WANTING TO EARN EXTRA MONEY? We require professional, motivated men and women of all ages, who enjoy socialising and meeting new people. We are looking for friendly, bubbly, open minded individuals who pride themselves on being adaptable and getting along with others. Although hours are normally during evenings and weekends, they can be made flexible to fit around an existing work schedule or adapted to those wanting to work part time. So whether you work full time and are wanting to get out and meet new people or simply hoping to take a new career direction, this could be the perfect opportunity for you.
The last naughty thing I did was snuck inside the depths of London Bridge to watch a private movie screening. The biggest faux pas I have made is getting incredibly drunk and trying to chat up the president of Azerbaijan’s wife. That didn’t go too well… Five words that sum up London ... Best adventure of my life. facebook.com/eljimadorUK el Jimador tequila football tables across London until Aug 27 12
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Contact us now for more information on 0203 432 8177 or at firstname.lastname@example.org www.premierevents.biz
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THE THATCHED HOUSE
Famous eggs and fantastic, friendly vibe
BAR THE SCENE This newly opened, family-friendly Hammersmith pub puts an emphasis on comfort – it’s full of sofas, long benches for groups to graze, the odd TV screen dotted around for those keen to keep one eye on the score, and has a beautifully decked-out terrace, too, ideal for lazy lunches and soaking up the summer sun. THE GRUB Traditional pub grub (cod and chips, ribeye steak) is given a ‘Thatched’ twist: ‘The Burger’ is meaty and belly-challenging, and the Sunday roasts, with their towering bombardment of veggies and accompaniments, are a celebrated weekend draw. The snack platter is simply sublime: a glutinous pork pie, a saltbeef sandwich, cured salmon, and the Thatched’s famous scotch egg, a runny yolked signature snack that’s reason alone to visit. Pint and an egg, anyone? BEHIND THE BAR There are beers, ales and lagers (Fosters,Kozel, Peroni), and a roundthe-world wine selection to sate vino-heads. What really sets the Thatched apart, though, is its one-of-a-kind, only-get-it-here Sambrooks Thatched House Pale Ale. Brewed up the road in Battersea (for this establishment alone), it is a fizzy ale that straddles the worlds of lager and ale, and is the perfect brew for summertime. BILL PLEASE Roasts £13; starters from £4.50; mains from £10; desserts from £5. Beers from £3.60; wines from £3.85 VERDICT We can’t recommend this place highly enough. Try the Scotch egg! AM
115 Dalling Road, W6 0ET
3 OF THE BEST RIVERSIDE BARS
BAR & CO
THE OYSTER SHED
Why just enjoy the Thames from the banks? Starting at Temple Pier, the Bar & Co boat floats past famous London sites, such as Big Ben, the London Eye and Oxo Tower in this bar, restaurant and nightclub.
This Rotherhithe pub will transport you back a couple hundred years with its old-time décor, or you can venture to their outdoor patio to soak in the stunning view of the Thames, while enjoying classic British eats.
This City gastropub offers a modern twist on classic nautical décor, and boasts walls of windows giving fantastic skyline views of London, stretching from London Bridge to Southwark Bridge.
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BITE SIZE has d Bar nts ed
n’s t nto lly .
Namaaste: contemporary Indian with style
THESE DOGS ARE HOT! Pop-up Superette is back, at east London’s Broadway Market every Saturday until September 1. This time, hot dogs can be found at F Cooke Pie & Mash, with the laundrette opposite transformed into a bar for those looking for a big night. 100 per cent beef, the frankfurters are smoked with beechwood and individually served in a freshly baked bun with a variety of toppings. There are four to choose from: The Chicago, Classic New York, Korean Dog and, for the veggies, The California Dog. superettepopup.com
NICE RING TO IT In celebration of Team GB’s Games success, Dukes St James has produced a special ‘5 Rings Martini’, served until September 9. The exciting is comprised of five tantalising ingredients and mixed with a sophisticated splash of Grand Marnier, Amber Vermouth, King’s Ginger Liqueur and U’Luvka Vodka, and infused with ginger and orange peel in an explosive burst of Vitamin C. £16.95. dukeshotel.com
MORE THAN POPCORN Renowned restaurateurs Salt Yard Group will serve the food at cinema pop-up The Nomad, in Queen’s Park this summer. The menu includes Ibérico burgers with manchego and guindilla, Ibérico hot dogs with romesco sauce, caramelised onions, guindilla and mustard alioli, as well as some of their hugely popular signature creations, salt cod croquettes and courgette flowers with goat’s cheese and honey on August 18 and September 8 & 22.
NAMAASTE KITCHEN MODERN INDIAN THE SCENE On a quiet side road adjacent to the mayhem of Camden High Street, Namaaste Kitchen has been the subject of glowing reviews ever since it first opened in 2010, and yet still feels like one of north London’s best-kept secrets. Contemporary takes on Indian classics (think pistachio chicken korma) are served up in a stylish setting; leather accents and red-and-blue-hued lighting settle you in for an evening of fine cuisine, not a cheap bowl of lager absorbant. The kitchen sure knows its stuff, and each month this year has introduced a different regional cuisine with a special menu offered alongside the main menu. Look out for the Gujurat dishes throughout September. THE GRUB A starter of tandoori portobello mushrooms, marinated and filled with figs, cashew nuts, raisins, green chilli and homemade cheese in a curry leaf dressing, sets the tone perfectly: this is Indian food, but not as you know it. The blend of sweet, rich flavours and nostril-cleansing spice is masterfully balanced, and the plate is presented beautifully, with artful licks of mango chutney. For the main course, I struggle to choose from the long list of options, eyes darting hungrily from a Kashmiri lamb shank with red wine, ginger and spices to wild rabbit leg served with aubergine compote. I rely on my waiter’s recommendation of Peshawari lamb chops from the grill and am not disappointed: the meat is as tender as I’ve ever tasted and the marinade of fresh ginger paste, raw papaya, herbs and spices elicits rapturous moans. A side of stir-fried okra with mango comes drenched in an earthy tomato sauce is deserving of a similar response. I finish with milkcurd dumplings in flavoured milk, a satisfyingly light and simple ending to a complex meal.
A compact cocktail list, Cobra on tap, wine and champagne menu. Starters from £4.50; mains from £7.50; desserts from £2.95. Glass of wine from £3.25; pints from £4.50. VERDICT For curry that’s a cut above, without hammering your wallet. LAURA CHUBB BEHIND THE BAR BILL PLEASE
whereisthenomad.com 64 Parkway, Camden, NW1 7AH
FINAL 1511 Food.indd 15
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Petra I quit my job working for Nike. Just couldn’t do it anymore.
Jackster I almost forgot to update my status that I’d been to the gym. What a waste of a workout that would have been!
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I really enjoyed Alasdair Morton’s article on Sixto Rodriguez (TNT 1510). I saw the Searching For Sugarman doco and am so happy Rodriguez is getting the recognition he deserves. I remember hearing the song Sugarman from time to time throughout my life, but somehow never thought about who sang it, assuming it was Dylan. What a gentle down-toearth soul he is and what an uplifting story. Thanks for the interview! Mary, via tntmagazine.com
So Bradley Wiggins recommends that helmets should be compulsory (tntmagazine.com) A helmet!? You need a full metal cage around you to protect you against a couple of tonnes of metal. A bit of polystyrene that is only tested to 12mph impacts? How do people in Holland manage? Their drivers are ultimately responsibly for hitting a vulnerable road user. Jacqs, via tntmagazine.com
Australia’s gold medal count was lower than everyone expected, but it’s nothing to worry about. It’s because other nations have actually started to spend money on their athletes, like we have been doing for ages. Australia had better not waste even more money on the Australian Institute of Sport, just because other nation’s own institutions have now caught up. Wan, via tntmagazine
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WHAT A RIDE!
I totally disagree with Carol Driver that Chad Le Clos’s dad, Bert, was embarrassing (Golden Moments, TNT 1510). The man was simply full of pure pride and raw emotion. This was definitely one of the sweetest moments of the Games. In fact, the whole article is really negative – cynicism will get you nowhere, TNT. Steve, via tntmagazine.com
I loved your article on the Rickshaw Run through India (TNT 1510). I did it as well, often driving at night. Looking back it’s funny, but, in the moment, I thought every blinding truck light was going to be the one I would find myself walking towards after instant death! Justin, via tntmagazine.com CAMPING /74 DUBAI /90
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Corey James: ‘Aus Zealand’ on the medal table? At least we dont need four countries like GB. Siobhan Bonshi E. Credo: My fave Games moment was Serena Williams taking gold, followed by the doubles win - love her energy. And Douglas & Komova in the gymnastics - so close, I was on the edge of my seat!!! Sheridan Smith: Watching Team GB win three golds tonight in Potters Fields tonight. Amazing.
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Doherty hits up London with two acoustic shows
SOUTH WEST FOUR
PETER DOHERTY Brixton Jamm, 261 Brixton Road, SW9 6LH FRI, AUG 17 | DOORS AT 6.30PM & 8PM | £25
Clapham Common is the home for this bank holiday weekend dance fest. Spread over two days, Saturday is headlined by Chase And Status, with Carl Cox (performing his only UK show this summer) and Pendulum spin-off Knife Party in support. Skrillex (below) and Public Enemy, both delivering UK summer festival exclusives, headline the Sunday, with 2ManyDJs and their music-spanning mash-up and Eric Prydz among the other acts. See the summer out with a bang! Clapham Common, SW4 9DE. August 25 & 26. £50 Clapham Common
The drugs, the supermodel ex, the court cases, the tadbloid hysteria, the dead bodies (literally!) – former Babyshambles and Libertines frontman Pete Doherty has lived the life of 100 rock stars. He is, despite the odds stacked against him, still going, and in the live arena, he’s a raw, unbridled talent. After his first show here at Brixton’s Jamm sold out, the unpredictable musician – now Peter, not Pete – has lined up a second gig at the same venue for the same evening. For both these acoustic performances, he is set to draw on his eclectic back catalogue which, to date, spans two Libertines records before their spectacular implosion, underrated Babyshambles debut Down In Albion and follow-up Shotter’s Nation, as well as his 2009 bona fide solo debut Grace/ Wastelands, a record of poetic beauty that failed to trouble the charts. On stage, away from the flickering flash of the paps’ bulbs, Doherty is a formidable presence, a livewire, captivating performer meant for the stage, where his unpredictable energy and air of intrigue make it impossible to turn your eyes away from him, even for a moment. His legions of adoring, devoted fans, who are destined to make up the core of this evening’s audience, ensure his shows’ atmosphere is equally as buzzing. Throw that into a small intimate venue the likes of Jamm, and you have all the ingredients for a stunning night. So long as Doherty remembers to turn up that is, and doesn’t get lost penning some paen to the crackpipe.
FINAL 1511 Sound.indd 20
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MINUS THE BEAR GIG FRI, AUG 17. 7PM £13.50
Seattle’s indie-rockers have put the electronic experimentation of last album Omni to one side and returned to guitar-based, experimentalism with fifth LP, Infinity Overhead. It’s also their most immediate and accessible collection of songs, making this headline show essential for fans and newbies alike. Heaven Under The Arches, WC2N 6NG Embankment heaven-live.co.uk
OLD SCHOOL INDIE LAUNCH PARTY
SAT, AUG 18. 10PM-3AM £8+
SAT, AUG 18. 10.30PM-3.30AM £6+
This weekly night keeps its options open, spinning everything from electro to disco to pop to indie, from the flared Seventies to the skinnyjeaned Noughties and Teens. Rickky Rock is the man in charge, and with a name like that you can expect the focus to be on party anthems and top times galore.
Feeling Gloomy has moved to pastures new, to be replaced by this new night that revels in indie’s fun-over-fashion heyday. So expect everything from The Smiths and Pulp, to Kate Bush and the Stones as top tunes, and the odd classic from the chest, are dug out. As it’s the first night, there’s drink promos and comps, too.
Electric Ballroom 184 Camden High Street, NW1 8QP Camden Town electricballroom.co.uk
O2 Islington Academy 16 Parkfield Street, N1 0PS o2academyislington.co.uk
THE AFGHAN WHIGS
SUN, AUG 19. 7.30PM £22.50
SAT, AUG 18. 9PM-3AM £15.50
WED, AUG 15. 7.30PM £17.50
These blues rockers disbanded in the midNineties after a string of critically lauded but, comparatively, commercially mediocre records. They reconvened for the I Am Your Mirror show earlier this summer, and now have this solo show, too, to delight fans who’ve missed Greg Dulli and co.
DJ Vadim brings his diverse musical talents to town as part of this hip hop party, spinning everything and anything from hip-hop and soul, to reggae, drum ‘n’ bass, funk, grime and pretty much whatever else has got his attention right now. He’ll be joined for this bash by DJ Format and the Simonsound, Mr Thing and Lazy Habits.
The longstanding Shapeshifter’s aural drum ‘n’ bass assault comes to slay Camden Town. Where most D&B acts are content to fashion tunes in the studio, where they can sit and tinker to perfection, for the ‘Shifter it’s all about the live show, which is a legendary, soulful-yet-bruising, full-on affair.
Koko 1a Camden High Street, NW1 7JE. Mornington Crescent koko.uk.com
Koko 1a Camden High Street, NW1 7JE Mornington Crescent koko.uk.com
Electric Ballroom 184 Camden High Street, NW1 8QP Camden Town electricballroom.co.uk
HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY THE BUZZ SO FAR This Brisbane four-piece have been busy touring their asses off, back home and over here earlier this summer – and the hard work is paying off. Their fizzy, catchy, hook-laden pop – think sunny times in a Vampire Weekend kind of way – has seen them grace the soundtracks of shows as diverse as Grey’s Anatomy and The Inbetweeners. They’ve been beavering away, laying down tracks and trying to capture their energetic live sound, the first fruits of their labours being their forthcoming EP. THE CRITICS SAY “A perfect listen for summer.” AndPluckYourStrings.com THE PLUG Debut EP Escapades is out August 20 through Mucho Bravado hungrykidsofhungary.com
FINAL 1511 Sound.indd 21
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MONDAY 13 2 Bugs And A Roach DJs spin blues, folk, garage, punk and jazz, with hosts George Frakes and Sterling Roswell. The Wheelbarrow, Camden High St, NW1 7JH (020 7387 3691). Phone for Times. Phone for Prices.
The Gallery Paul Oakenfold, Gabriel And Dresden, Tom Fall and guests supply house, techno and electronica. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 10.30pm-6am. £16, mems £11.
Jungle Syndicate DJs Bailey, Equinox, Randy B, Smyla, Ricky Force, Theory, MDS, Raggamuffin, Sargy, Doomham, Future, Misree, Mindset, Elleo, Unity Scoop 24, Big Sam, Resistance, Disowned, LX, Resinate, Tiny Taste and Sketch mix drum ‘n’ bass and jungle across two rooms. The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). 10pm-6am. £10, £8 before midnight.
Hoxton Ukulele Hootenanny Resident DJs play Ukulele-inspired music, plus live performances. The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958). 7.30pmmidnight. £20. I Love Mondays DJ Victor and guests provide disco, dance, funky house, R ‘n’ B and reggae. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3.30am. £5, w/flyer £3, NUS £2, NHS staff free. Jaded Raymundo Rodriguez and guests supply house, techno and electronica. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 5am1pm. £12, concs £8. The Jump Off 2012 Finals Charlie Sloth, Rap6, Manny Norte, DJs and performers supply party tunes and dance vibes. With photo shoots and live entertainment. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/cc 0844 477 1000). 8pm-2am. £10-£40. Stampede DJ Laurence Rene spins pop-punk, alternative, rock and ska, with hosts Oli Sandler and Matt Boland. Escape Bar, Brewer St, W1F 0SU (020 7734 3040). 9pm-3am. £5, free before 10pm, £1 before 11pm, £3.
TUESDAY 14 Bossa Nova Disco Resident DJs spin Brazilian jazz music. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600). 5pm-late. Free. Feel Good Tuesdays DJ BigTunez plays R ‘n’ B and pop. Verve, Upper St. Martin’s Ln, WC2H 9NY (020 7395 1200). 10pm-late. Phone for Prices. Havana Club Resident DJs supply Cuban beats, with dance classes available. Club Colosseum, Nine Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609). 7.30pm-1am. £4, mems £3, classes and club £8, NUS £6. Juicy London Launch Party Resident DJs play hip-hop, old skool, R ‘n’ B and bashment. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm2.30am. Free. Ladies Night DJ Joel Corry spins R ‘n’ B and pop, plus hosts Cara and Billi from The Only Way Is Essex. Aura, St. James’s St, SW1A 1JT. 10pm-late. gents/ladies £20, ladies free before 10.30pm, see www. auramayfair.com for details. Panic Max Panic, Gaz Panic and That Perfect Fumble supply indie, electro, retro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, guestlist w/ flyer free before 10.30pm. Rockin’ Rio DJ Moishe spins Latin beats, rock and indie. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600). 5pm-late. Free.
CIRCUS RECORDS Electric Brixton. Oct 5. £15 The dubstep label – headed by Doctor P and Flux Pavillion (above) – bring the Circus to town for a night of bass-driven pyrotechnics. SW2 1RJ
WEDNESDAY 15. Aquila Resident DJs play house, hip-hop, electro and dubstep. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-1.30am. £12, guestlist £8. Bird On The Wire Com Truise, Jape and Labyrinth Ear spin electro and techno. Corsica Studios, Elephant Rd, SE17 1LB (020 7703 4760). 7.30pm-late. Adv £10. Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10. N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2. Variete Nouveau A night of variety, circus, magic, comedy, vaudeville, cabaret and burlesque featuring Oli Wennick, Florian, Scarlett Cuffs and Kiki Kaboom. Proud Cabaret, Mark Ln, EC3R 7AH (020 7482 3867). 8.30pmlate. £49 inc meal. XXL Wednesdays DJs Christian M and Alex Logan play funky house in the main room, while Joe Egg spins retro in the Fluff Bar. Pulse, Invicta Plaza, SE1 9UF (020 7403 9643). 9pm-3am. £3, mems free, annual m’ship £10.
THURSDAY 16 Bad Sex Mayton DJs and Fin Munro spin electro and indie, plus live performances from Eyes On Film and The Tricks. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-2.30am. £7, £5 before 10pm, guestlist NUS £5, NUS free before 10pm. Bleed Presents: Before My Eyes 2 Demdike Stare, Raime and Blackest Ever Black DJs supply post-punk, industrial, alt techno and metal. The Waiting Room, Stoke Newington High St, N16 0LH (020 7241 5511). 9pm-2am. £4.
Contact Steven Geller and guests send temperatures soaring with dance music and chart hits. Barcode Vauxhall, Goding St, SE11 5AW (020 7582 4180). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS £2. Faded DJs Rory, One Touch, Cable and Siobhan Bell spin hip-hop, dubstep and electronica. The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). 10pm-3am. £8 guestlist, £5 before 11pm. Gravity DJs Alan K and Fat Tony spin electro, house and disco, with hosts Mauricio and Danny Boyce. Fire, Arch, 39-43 Parry St, corner South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1RT (020 3242 0040). 2am-8am. £10, concs £5. Hard Time Festival Think Like Valencia, Abbey Bowden, Andreas Cameron and guests supply rock, pop and electronica. Archangel, Kensington High St, W8 5NP (020 7938 4137). 8pm-late. W/bands £12. Homegrown DJs Skinny Macho, James Massiah, Mikey Spider and Danny Hall spin disco, house and funk, plus live performances from Moscow Youth Cult and Twin Graves. The Hoxton Pony, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3AH (020 7613 2844). 8pm-1am. Free.
FRIDAY 17. Connected DJs Max Chapman, Jesse James, Johnny Bloomfield, Dankoss, Jamie Hillier and Billy Dove mix house and electronica. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). 8pm3am. £15, free before 9pm. Fabriclive Plastician, Hatcha and N-Type spin dubstep in room one, Kasra Mowlavi, Die and Dillinja spin drum ‘n’ bass in room two and in room three Scratcha DVA and Slackk play grime and house. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 10pm-6am. £17, £8 after 3am, adv £16, adv £21 w/CD, NUS £10 before midnight, mems £12.
Mat Horne Presents Session DJs Late Of The Pier, Mat Horne, Push Music, Sianne, States Of Emotion and Badloader spin indie, rock and pop, plus live performances from The Bluetones, Edit Select, Toys With Knives and Mens Adventures. The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958). 8pm-2am. £7, free before 9pm. Pack London Presents House, garage and bass music courtesy of Jaimeson, Boyson and Jamie Muse in the basement, while resident DJs spin house, hip-hop and dancehall in the lounge. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 9.30pm3.30am. £10, £7 before midnight. Free before 11.30pm. Steve Butcher Leaving Do Funky house and dance courtesy of Steve Butcher and friends. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free
SATURDAY 18. Def:Inition 7th Birthday Bash DJ Hazard, MC Shabba D, Logan D and Majistrate provide drum ‘n’ bass and electronica. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/cc 0844 477 1000). 10pm-6am. Adv £14.50. Destination House DJs Francesca Lombardo, Sy Sez, Perempay, Booker T, Mark Radford, B3, Gavin Peters, Adam Cotier, Carlos Aries, Able, DJ Pioneer, Majesty, Jason Sol, Luke Larrell, Fingaprint, Teaser, Deejay S, Footloose, D. Antics and Mr Suey spin house, old skool and garage across three rooms. Proud 2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (020 8463 3070). 11pm5am. £15 & £17.50, adv £10. Fabric M.A.N.D.Y, Tim Green, Kris Wadsworth, Terry Francis, Slam, Jafar, Maxime Cescau and Demarkus Lewis provide house, dance beats and electronica. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 11pm-8am. £19, adv £18, w/CD adv £23, mems £13, NUS £12, £10 after 4am. Red Eye DJs Hyper Spice, Bliss, Tyrone, Mr Hardwine, Tate, QT Zhype, Digga D and Credable spin soca, plus MCs Martin Jay and Vinny Ranks. CC2, Nine Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609). 11pm-5am. £15.
Supernova#7 DJs Samuel L Session, Rebekah, Chris Stanford, Antony Di Francesco, Style of Eye, Nikola Gala, Mauro Ferno, Mestivan, Nils Hess, JB, Kevin DCruz, D.DaCosta, Joe Le Groove, Jay Tempest and Varon V mix house and techno. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 10pm11am. £20, adv £15, mems £13. Tempo Eterno Resident DJs spin house, tempo house and progressive beats. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free. Unity Dance Project Erick The Saint, Dani K, Julian Mr M, Mr Bilongo and Cruz play salsa in room one, in room two Enrique, Flecha and Richard Fallon spin Cuban salsa, in room three kizomba from Gatito and Hugo Boss and in room four DjOoo and Julian Mr M play bachata. The Coronet, New Kent Rd, SE1 6TJ (020 7701 1500). 10.30pm5am. £15, adv £12. Viet Party DJs Red & Blue, T-One, Phuong Pharreal, D-Viant, Dr Grey and guests spin R ‘n’ B and Latin beats. Club Colosseum, Nine Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609). 11pm-6am. £20.
SUNDAY 19 Busta Move St Dance Championships DJ Pioneer, Donaeo ft. Belle Fisher, Skyer D and Artful Dodger provide hiphop, dance beats and electronica. Proud 2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (020 8463 3070). 9am-10pm £20, 6pm-10pm. £10 afterparty. Dingwalls Summertime Stomp Rock ‘n’ roll and indie courtesy of resident DJs, plus live performances from Voola and the Jayhawks. Dingwalls, Camden Lock, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AB (020 7428 0010/ cc 020 7428 5929). 2pm-late £10. Later D’Johnny, Paul Martin, The Oli, The Sharp Boys and Jamie Head spin house music. Fire, Arch, 39-43 Parry St, corner South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1RT (020 3242 0040). 11.30am-8pm. £6, w/flyer £5 before 1.30pm. Orange The Oli, Paul Martin and The Sharp Boys spin house in room one, while Gonzola Rivas, David Jiminez and Hi Fi Sean provide minimal techno and tech-house in room two. Fire, Arch, 39-43 Parry St, corner South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1RT (020 3242 0040). 10pm-late. £12, £10 before midnight, w/flyer £5 before 1am. Soulvolution Terry T-Rex, Jeffrey Hinton, DJ QBee, David Rosen and Johnny 0Rogue play soul. Zen Sai, Inverness St, NW1 7HJ (020 7424 9527). 9pm-2am. Free. Sunday Sessions Funky house and dance courtesy of resident DJs. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free. Tribe House Dance Battle DJs Zepherin Saint and Kristel Morin spin house, club classics and tropical bass. The Book Club, Leonard St, EC2A 4RH (020 7684 8618). 5pm-9pm. Free
FINAL 1511 Club Listings.indd 22
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GIVE LIFE TO A FAMILY THE CENTRE FOR REPRODUCTIVE AND GENETIC HEALTH The Centre for Reproductive and Genetic Health is one of UK’s top fertility clinics but we need the help of egg donors! As many as one in seven couples are affected by infertility and may require assistance in starting a family. In the past 21 years, CRGH has helped to conceive over 4,000 babies. Some of these pregnancies would not have been possible without donated eggs. If you’re a woman between the ages of 20 and 35, who would like to help a couple in need, then please call Joy Green (Head of Nursing) on
020 7837 2905 The Centre for Reproductive & Genetic Health
We will compensate egg donors up to £750 for their time
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Gorguts, Dam, Oblivionized Avant-garde and death metal from the Canadian four-piece, fronted by lead singer and guitarist Luc Lemay. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). Adv £13.50. Kobra And The Lotus Heavy metal group from Calgary, Alberta. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £8.50. The Midnight Beast The Londonbased three-piece, who also starred in a TV sitcom of the same name, performs comedypop in support of its self-titled debut album. HMV, Oxford St, W1C 1AB (0845 602 7800). Free. Priceless London Wonderground: Molotov Jukebox, Dizraeli & The Small Gods, Yes Sir Boss Indie and folk-rock from the London-based band. The London Wonderground Spiegeltent, Jubilee Gardens, off Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (0844 545 8282). £12.50. Refused Lead singer Dennis Lyxzen fronts a reformed line-up of the Swedish hardcore punk band. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7428 4099). £18.50. Shea Seger Country and Americana by the Texas-based singer-songwriter. 606 Club, Lots Rd, SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £10. Union Gold – A Season Of Celebration: Gianni, Jordan Fox, Adam Krstic, Matthew Gregory The singer-songwriter performs soulful folk-pop. Union Theatre, Union St, SE1 0LX (020 7261 9876). £15. White Rabbits Indie-rock by the New York-based band. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £12.50. Pete Williams Band Alt pop from the Midlands-based singer and group. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £10.
ANIMAL COLLECTIVE Roundhouse. Sun, Nov 4. £20 Avant-garde indie-poppers follow up 2009’s Post Merriweather Pavillion with Centipde Hz in September, then hit the road to tour the shit out of it. NW1 8EH
Narrow Plains Alt folk-rock by the London-based band. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £5. The Penelopes, Fountains, Animal Noise, Gentlemen’s Club The London-based Parisian duo performs dance-rock. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £6. Urusen Indie-folk band from London and Bath. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £11. Violens Goth pop band from New York City. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £8.
Anthony Pateras, Steve Noble, Kayfabe The musician from Australia plays avant-garde music on prepared piano and analogue synth. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £8, adv £7. Mara Simpson, Amy Grace, Ottilia Zimmerman Kjulsten Folksoul from the Wellington-based singer-songwriter. The Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). Adv £6.50, concs £5.
THURSDAY 16 Billy Talent The Toronto-based four-piece plays punk-rock and post-hardcore to promote its album Dead Silence. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £15.
Cave Painting, Nadine Shah Indie-rock by the Brightonbased band. Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 7704 0187). Adv £6.
Bo Bruce Pop by the Wiltshire-born singer and The Voice contestant Catherine Anna Brudenell-Bruce. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £8.
Elzhi, Yungun & Mr Thing, Spin Doctor, Chris P Cuts Hip-hop from Detroit-based rapper Jason Powers. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £15, adv £10.
Hollie Cook Pop and reggae by the London-based singer. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £12.50.
The First, Morning After, Rob Lynch Melodic rock combo from Wisbech, Cambridgeshire. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £5.
Joywride, The Mars Fortress, The Dirty Angels Glam-pop by the group from London and Brighton. Buffalo Bar, Upper St, N1 1RU (020 7359 6191). £7, adv £5.
Moya Commercial pop from the Brighton-based singersongwriter. Surya, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JL (020 7713 6262). Adv £4.
Xtatic Soul and funk outfit fronted by Vanessa Haynes. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15, free before 10pm.
Milly Mae, I’m Fresh! You’re Pretty!, Black Dollar Bills, The Deans Soul-pop by the Ramsgate-based singer. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 1773). £7, adv £5.
Katie Herzig, Butterfly Boucher Folk-rock by the singer-songwriter from Fort Collins, Colorado. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £10.
Grant Lee Buffalo Alt rock and Americana by the Los Angelesbased band. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7428 4099). £17.50.
Little Shadows, 24 Knots, Tarq Bowen Indie from the London-based band. Archangel, Kensington High St, W8 5NP (020 7938 4137). £8, adv £6.
Barbarella London-based indierock band. Jamboree, Cable St, E1W 3HB (07713 867881). £6, adv £4.
Declan Bennett, Rabia, Das Kitten, Christianoshi Acoustic rock and pop from the former member of the band Point Break. The Macbeth, Hoxton St, N1 6LP (020 7749 0600). £5.
First Blood, No Second Chance, Crimes The San Francisco-based band plays metal and hardcore. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). Adv £10.
Spectrum, Hookworms, Prayer Meeting Experimental psychedelic rock and pop combo. Shacklewell Arms, Shacklewell Ln, E8 2EB (020 7249 0810). £10, adv £9.
Larkin Poe, Blair Dunlop Folkpop from the American outfit. The Old Queen’s Head, Essex Rd, N1 8LN (020 7354 9993). Adv £9.
Dead To Me, Our Time Down Here The San Francisco-based band performs punk-rock songs. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £10. Kontakte, You Walk Through Walls, Absent Without Leave The London-based band plays alt electro and post-rock. The Wilmington Arms, Rosebery Ave, EC1R 4RL (020 7837 1384). £6. Kvelertak, Arabrot The Norwegian band fuses punk with rock ‘n’ roll. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £12.
Me One Cardiff-based musician Eric Martin performs reggae, folk and hip-hop. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). £10.
Pete Doherty Indie-rock by the controversial singer-songwriter and ex-member of The Libertines and Babyshambles. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/ cc 020 7274 5537). Adv £25.
Mojokings, Cash, Sin Kings, Surfin Wombatz Rockabilly, garagerock and psychobilly combo from Essex. 12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). £7.
Crystal El Soul and R‘n’B fromthe London-based singersongwriter. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £8.
Palumbo & The Funk Funkrock from Australian born musician Dion Palumbo and his group. Underbelly, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7837 4412). £5.
Electric Wire Hustle Wellingtonbased electro, soul and pop band. The City Arts & Music Project, City Rd, EC1Y 2BJ (020 7253 2443). Adv £10. Forms, Trial, Cassette Town Criers, Lost Minute, Black Orchid Empire The London-based outfit plays indie-rock. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £6. Grand Central, Jackson’s Warehouse, The Kid Kapichi, Sal Vitro Indie-rock group from London. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 1773). £7, adv £5.
Room 94, Disclosure, The Famous Class, Burn So Bright Pop-rock from the Hertfordshire combo. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £6. Shingai Shoniwa, TKZ, Prudence Katomene Indie-rock from the singer and bassist and member of the Noisettes. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £27.50-£55.
SUNDAY 19 The Afghan Whigs Indie-rock and post-punk group from Cincinnati, Ohio. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £22.50.
Harpeth Rising The Nashvillebased band plays classicallyinfluenced Americana. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). Adv £10. Hoza 2012 Performances from Zimbabwean artists including Oliver Mtukudzi, Prudence Katomene and Bus Ncube plus Shingai Shoniwa of The Noisettes. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £27.50-£55. Joe Pug, Danny George Wilson The singer from Chicago performs acoustic folk and country. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £10. Shed Seven York-based indierock band that was part of the Britpop scene of the 1990s. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £17.50.
SATURDAY 18 Electric Wire Hustle Wellingtonbased electro soul and pop outfit. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £20, adv £15.5.
Moones Indie-rock from the London-based band. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £6.
Lower Dens Alt rock from the Baltimore-based band. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). Adv £10.
Ghosts Of December, Sunshine Drunk, Paddy Griffith & The Hollow Men The London-based group plays melodic folk-rock. The Good Ship, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 7JR (07949 008253). £5.
NZ Shapeshifter Drum ‘n’ bass from the New Zealand-based outfit, with elements of soul and funk. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £17.50.
Red Sky July The London-based outfit plays acoustic country and folk with pop sensibilities. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). Adv £10.
Johnny Foreigner Indie-rock from the Birmingham-based four-piece. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £10.
The All Night Workers Veteran rock band from London. Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £6. Embrace The Tide, Black Shapes, Ghost Of Gabrielle, Sleepless Melodic hardcore by the band based in Milton Keynes and Leicester. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £6. Let Chaos Fall, Urma Sellinger, Violet, Floods, Wretched Souls Post-hardcore by the Surreybased band. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £5. London Mela 2012 A celebration of South Asian music and culture featuring performances from Jaz Dhami, Jay Status, Angrej Ali, Geeta Zalidar, Roach Killa, U-Cef, Poetic Pilgrimage, Celt Islam and many more. Gunnersbury Park, W3 8LQ (07813 842133). Free. Mishal Moore, The Electric Strings, Star, Ady Johnson The American singer-songwriter and musician performs soulful folktronica and indie-pop. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). Adv £8. Radfest 2012 A one-day alt and heavy rock festival featuring performances from Veronica Falls, Ceremony, Jacuzzi Boys, Eagulls and Virals among others. Hackney Downs Studios, Amhurst Terrace, E8 2BT (0203 095 0900). Adv £15.
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HOW TO ENTER
Go to tntmagazine.com/competitions. See webpage for terms and conditions. Winners will be selected at random.
A SHARK CAGE DIVE IN SOUTH AFRICA TNT and Shark Cage Diving KZN have teamed up to give one lucky reader and three of their friends a cage dive, which will take place from Rocky Bay, Park Rynie, South Africa. The group will get together at 7am in the morning at the launch site, where we will be briefed about the surf and general information. Once this is done, we will launch and head to the dive site, which is a 8km ride with lovely views of the coastline. Once there, we will get the sharks to come in and then do another briefing on the cage dive. There are
normally anything from five-20 sharks on a dive and we will do a talk on sharks and marine life, show you the shark nets, and undertake surface viewing of sharks from boat. The whole trip is about two-and-a-half hours as the sharks come quickly. Enter at
TOUR OF IRELAND
TOUR OF SCOTLAND
PREVIOUS WINNERS TNT 507: BURLESQUE EVENING: Eleanor Lomas Sarah Thompson, Shaun Britton, Philip Conchie, Alecia Stevenson
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Ed Nash The Bombay Bicycle Club bassist on playing the Olympics closing concert, the nicest supergroup in rock, and Playboy bunnies INTERVIEW ALASDAIR MORTON
You’ve just played the Olympics Closing Ceremony, how did it feel? It was great to be back in the UK, and amazing to be involved in the concert. We were watching the Games on TV and cheering on Team GB. What was the reaction in the US to the Games, everyone went mad for it over here? Yeah, we heard. I am a little sad that I wasn’t here to experience it. In the States, though, they only really cover sports that they’re good at, so they show a lot of obscure sports we probably wouldn’t here. And if the American comes eighth, then they will talk about the American coming eighth, rather than who came first, second and third. That was slightly peculiar.
Ed (second right), and Playboy bunnies just out of sight How was the tour of the States? We came back from Salt Lake City last week – the show was great, but I am not sure that I would go back there as a tourist. It is far smaller city, and there’s far less to do there than in other places. But everyone was lovely, and the crowd was great. I would love to go back there and play another show. What were highlights of the tour? We pretty much went from east coast to west coast, and we played Lollapalooza for the first time, which was absolutely incredible, as it is one of the most famous festivals in the world. Do you prefer festival shows like that or your own headline gigs? You’ve always got to work hard at festivals, as it is not your crowd. You’re playing to people who don’t know your music and trying to convert them, which I love doing. What’ve been your favourite festivals? I like festivals that have other stuff going on as much as the music, like Latitude and Glastonbury and the Secret Garden Party, where there are smaller events, or crafts and theatre and poetry readings, things you can go to between bands. Every year that we play Glastonbury, the band, crew and manager set up our own little campsite and stay there for the whole weekend, as well as playing the gig. But it’s probably quite detrimental to our own show.
What festivals have surprised you? There is one in Montreal called Osheaga, which is amazing, it had a great line-up and vibe. And the catering backstage was the best I’d had anywhere. There’s this show in America, The Iron Chef and they had the guy who won in action. When we were there, we had some poutine, too, which is Montreal’s traditional dish. It’s cheese, gravy and chips, but it is disgusting. It sounds like their ‘drunk food’, but people are very proud of their poutine. What’s you oddest moment on stage? In Ibiza two years ago, they were filming a reality show for Playboy. All these playboy bunnies came onstage and danced with us which was pretty cool, and pretty intimidating! Who’s your favourite band you’ve played with? We toured Australia with Elbow about three or four months ago and they are among the loveliest bunch of people you could even meet. It is like watching a masterclass on how to work up an audience and hold them there. Did you pick up any tips? So much of what [Elbow frontman] Guy Garvey does on stage comes naturally to him, the way he talks to the crowd, all the banter, I don’t think I could ever do that.
Frontman for your fantasy supergroup ...? Yeah, Guy Garvey would be the front man, purely for his stage banter and his general loveliness as a person. And then Dave Grohl on guitar because he seems like the friendliest person, or should you have him on drums? And the Macabees, too. That would be my supergroup for friendliness. Reading Festival boss Melvin Benn said you’re a ‘future headliner’. Does this put pressure on you? That was a nice thing for him to say. With regard our albums, we don’t feel much pressure; we have just always made the music we wanted to, the way we wanted, and it has worked out incredibly well. Our second record was an acoustic curveball, as far away from our first as you could get. No one knew what we were doing, but that’s given us freedom. How’s the new album coming along? We don’t really set out to do something in particular, we just allow the songs to come, but so far it feels like a progression. There’s a lot of electronic samples and loop-based stuff, which, again, is kind of different to what we have done before as well. Bombay Bicycle Club play Reading and Leeds, Aug 24 & 25. £85+ Richfield Avenue, RG1 8BD Reading readingfestival.com
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“Run, I see Matt Damon, and he’s pissed ...”
THE BOURNE LEGACY FILM review by Alasdair Morton STARRING: Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz | 12A | 135mins | On general release Aug 13
TAKE THIS WALTZ FILM STARRING: Michelle Williams, Seth Rogen | 15 | 116mins
To many she was the resilient nurse from the Dawn Of The Dead remake, but Canadian Sarah Polley has made a name as a filmmaker of note. This, her third outing behind the camera, is a romantic comedy in which Michelle Williams’ head is turned by a fit new neighbour (Luke Kirby). Expect more insights than your standard Sandra Bullock rom-com. On general release from August 17
Director Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon are out, and in comes series scribe Tony Gilroy to the director’s chair, with Jeremy Renner as Aaron Cross, another super-spy trained by a secretive programme akin to that which fashioned Damon’s forgetful agent. It proves a predominantly successful addition to the series. Running concordantly with Ultimatum, it’s both spin-off and sequel: Cross is a chemically enhanced next-gen operative, but as threats to expose the CIA’s secret operations leave Edward Norton’s string-puller no other option than to burn it to the ground, Cross, with Rachel Weisz’s research doc, are forced out on the run. There are a handful of standout set pieces – a climactic chase through Manila that starts as a rooftop foot pursuit, before moving on to bikes and into cars, and ending up a two-wheeled showdown – but while there are elements of Greengrass’s action (fast zooms, snappy editing) Gilroy’s style is more blockbuster than groundbreaker. Where the series reinvented action cinema language before, here Gilroy nods to its forbears’ invention, while refusing to mimic. Cross, too, is a different character to Bourne, with a cheeky element that stands him as a more conventional action hero, a move chiming with Gilroy’s crowdpleasing approach that’s not averse to throwing in a few moments of the heart between his leads. Norton is excellent as the master architect of it all, who knows his work is ‘morally indefensible, yet entirely necessary’. But Legacy is less about contemporary comment and rather big, bold action thrills, on which it delivers. GOOD FOR: Those who want Renner in every franchise going (Mission Impossible; Avengers ... )
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PAUL SINHA: LAST CHRISTMAS
Paul used to be a GP before, much to his parents’ dismay, giving up a respectable, enviable and highly paid career for life as, as he himself puts it, a clown. In this show, he recounts the moments that have shaped his life, starting with an ill advised and highly misguided recent trip to the Himalayas. Top stuff.
Soho Theatre 21 Dean Street, W1D 3NE. Aug 16-18. £10+ Oxford Circus sohotheatre.com
IN THE RINGS WITH ALI
THE COMPLETE WORLD OF SPORTS
To celebrate the Games and the legacy they’ll leave for east London, this new exhibition – in what will soon be known as the East Village – shines a light on one of the greatest sportsmen, and surely the greatest sporting personalities (usually an oxymoron), of all time. With photos, memorabilia and installations.
The current production by the Reduced Shakespeare Co sets out to spoof the history and diversity of sporting activity from archery to wrestling. It’s bursting with energy, and has virtually nothing to do with the Bard, but would benefit from curtailing some gags and refreshing the American references for UK audiences.
Forman’s Smokehouse Gallery Stour Rd, FIsh Island, E3 2NT. Aug 13-Sept 30 Hackney Wick smokehousegallery.org
Arts Theatre WC2H 7JB. Until Aug 25. £22+ Leicester Square artstheatrewestend.com
RONNY CHIENG What’s The Ron Way about? Stand-up from a third-culture Malaysian guy who doesn’t fit in anywhere and is proud of it. Do you think you’re better than other people? And if not, why not? No, I don’t think so. I probably thought I was better than everyone up until university. It went from “holy crap I’m surrounded by idiots” in high school to “holy crap I am now an idiot surrounding that person who is a genius” in university.
Photos: Manuel Harlan; Getty
Weirdest gig you’ve done? An office Christmas party on the showroom floor of a home appliance shop in Melbourne in front of a much older crowd, without a mic or a stage and the buffet line behind me. The gig didn’t go so bad. I think everyone felt sorry for me!
THE EXPENDABLES 2
Sylvester Stallone is back with his band of geriatric ass-kickers for more Eighties hommaging, blood-splattered action spectacle. Along for the ride this time, as well as the returning Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren and Jet Li, are Jean Claude Van Damme, Arnie, Bruce Willis and Chuck Norris. With a line-up this stellar, who cares about story? Blow some shit up!
Updated, downsized and here for the summer, Christopher Luscombe’s touring production of Eric Idle’s spoof musical raises smiles rather than laughs. “Lovingly ripped off” (according to the programme) from the film Monty Python And The Holy Grail, and with a Boris lookalike cycling across the stage at one point, it has its moments.
On general release from August 16
Harold Pinter Panton Street, SW1Y 4DN. Until Sept 9. £15+ Piccadilly Circus atgtickets.com
Funniest thing you’ve seen? You’ll think I’m a weirdo, but a stupid pipe in the bathroom of a venue. It’s painted white like the wall, so you can’t see it, and hangs low within scalping height and nobody thought it was a bad idea! The Ron Way. Soho Theatre. Aug 13-25. 9.30pm. £10+ W1D 3NE Oxford Circus sohotheatre.com
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Double hard bastard with a side order of bastard
FINAL 1511 Chopper focus.indd 30
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Harden the fuck up, London Heath Franklin’s Chopper comes to town to bring a bit of hardman philosophy to these weak and troubled times WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON Cutting off your ears is a fast track to celebrity, fame and, inevitably, infamy. It worked for Vincent Van Gogh, albeit it with a depressingly long lag factor for the troubled artist, and it worked for notorious Aussie criminal-turned-media celebrity Mark Brandon ‘Chopper’ Read, who cut off his ears in prison, or rather had them sliced off for him, and who’s the subject of comedian Heath Franklin’s new show, A Hard Bastard’s Guide To Life. Rather than parodying the man himself – although, the extremes and contradictions of a guy who’s spent most of his life behind bars for violent offences including, according to legend, armed robbery, torturing drug dealers, and the odd spot of murder, too, provide no shortage of material – Franklin looks to Eric Bana’s portrayal of Read in Andrew Dominik’s 2000 movie Chopper for inspiration for his take on the Aussie hardman. “I was fascinated by the film and just absorbed it. When everyone else was running around parties quoting Austin Powers, I was the creepy guy doing Chopper,” Franklin tells us, as he kicks off his Edinburgh run before heading to London. It was, though, as he has often noted, never his intention for the character to take off. “I had watched Bana’s film far too many times and he got caught in my head so my girlfriend suggested I do a sketch with him in it,” he told New Zealand TV in 2010, just as the character’s popularity soared Down Under. “Several years later I found myself touring Edinburgh and New Zealand – it was never planned.” The one-man performance show sees Franklin’s Chopper, a hyperbolic and absurd interpretation of the Read myth, offering his own inimitable take on the world – what’s wrong with it and the people in it, and, if he were given the reins, how he’d go about sorting it all out. Or, in the words of Franklin’s on-stage alter-ego, it’s a step-by-step guide that teaches you how “to punch life in the guts, take compromising photos of its wife, and watch it cry as it hands over the keys to your future”. So what would Chopper do, were he to become omnipotent for a day? The man who idolises Die Hard’s John McClane is displeased with the world in general, but there are specific folk that invoke his purest wrath. Bankers, for one, “need to be kidnapped, robbed and pushed out of a moving van in a third-world country, although that would work for a lot
of celebrities, too”. His attitude to life, as you would expect from the man who told the whole Australian nation it needs to “harden the fuck up”, is simple: “Life is like a mallet – you can either be a mango or a diamond.” Chopper, stage and real-life version, is the toughest diamond there is, and he doesn’t mind using his sharp edges to make his point.
I was the guy quoting Chopper at parties
Franklin, too, though in different ways, has his own points to make about the world in its current incarnation. “We are getting ahead of ourselves,” he says. “Collectively we are pretty pleased with ourselves at the moment, which seems ›› to come just before something bad happens. Right now,
A pair of hard bastards, both with ears
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Clockwise from above: Franklin’s Chopper behind bars; former stand-up Eric Bana as Read in the 2000 film; the real life Read
retaliation, as many who have crossed him have discovered? “Yes. But I’m a long way away at the moment, so I’ll take a break from stressing,” he says when we quiz him on his thoughts about how his comedy might be received. He needn’t worry though, as Read, who’s seen the character many times since he was birthed in The Ronny Johns Half Hour, is a fan himself.
He would lurch from violent to charming
“He’s very funny, but he is only impersonating Eric Bana who is impersonating me,” Read told online Roo TV before adding: ”And he has clearly got ears in that sketch, too!” Ears or not, Franklin’s Chopper is a hilarious take on one of Australian’s most notorious criminals, a show that will resonate with those familiar with his tales, and whose view of the world, and Antipodean traits in particular, will ensure it has a long life in the northern hemisphere, too. So, it’s now time to find out – are you a mango or are you a diamond? ❚ A Hard Bastard’s Guide To Life Edinburgh Festival, Until Aug 19. £11 edfringe.com Then London Wonderground, SE1 8XX. Aug 20-24. £15.50 pricelesswonderground.co.uk Waterloo
I think we feel exactly like the passengers on the Titanic did, or how bankers felt in August 2008!” Playing Chopper has also surprised him. “It was the strange way he would lurch from being a violent unpredictable alpha male to seeming genuinely concerned and being quite charming. When someone travels so quickly through their emotions, it opens opportunities in your performance. And there is an invincibility about looking like a hard bastard that flows over into the confidence of my performance as well.” Franklin adds: “The more I find out about him, though, the more I realise I like Eric Bana’s version of Read better than the man himself.” A sentiment perhaps not surprising towards a guy who, as many have commented, despite being a regular bloke, likes a bit of torture, too. Real-life Read is ripe for mocking, his streetwise outlook meaning while he has been incarcerated for more of his life than he has spent on the outside, although he maintains he has never injured an innocent person. Indeed, his skewed morals have seen him become a celebrity with a number of books – auto- and semi-autobiographical – to his name, and who has fronted a nationwide, if ultimately banned, TV advert about the indefensibility of assaulting women: “The lowest thing in jail is a woman-basher and a rapist,” Chopper threatened, brandishing his tatts. “If you’ve bashed a woman, you’re a weak, gutless individual, and in prison you will get dealt with. Be afraid.” So is Franklin at all worried Read might take offence, not get in on the joke, and choose to take some form of TNTMAGAZINE.COM
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Yellowcard: Southern Air
Tekken 6 PSP
The long-standing punch‘em-up brand continues. £9.99 play.com
Pop-punkers return with this, their eighth long player. £8.99 amazon.co.uk
Darksiders 2 Xbox
Seth MacFarlane: Music Is Better Than Words
This fantasy follow-up pits you as death, no less, alongside the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse. £39.99 amazon.co.uk
The Family Guy man has a straight-up album of big band covers. For real – no jokes. £8.99 play.com
Glovebox iPhone app
Random but handy, this collates and keeps you informed of all your car info. Free itunes.apple.com
Laura Pederson: Planes, Trains and Auto-Rickshaws Book
A look at the contradictions in the emerging global power that is India. £10.99 tesco.com
Gratuitous Space Battles iPad app
It does exactly what it says in the title, in an arcade way. £6.99 itunes.apple.com
Matt Bondurant: Lawless Book
The fictionalised tale of the real-life Bondurant Bros and their Thirties moonshine escapades. £7.99 play.com
Take A Break Emergency Food Tin Gadget
Ideal for beating those night-time hunger pangs. £7.99 iwantoneofthose.com
Amanda Seyfried stars in this B-movie-premised flick about a girl who loses her memory. Trashy but fun. £13.57 play.com
Make your kitchen Dalifriendly with this drooping, melting time piece. £7.99 pay.com
This Must Be The Place DVD
Sean Penn’s a gothic rock star forced to face his family’s past in this indie flick. £9.99 play.com
App of the Week Mixtapes Windows app
A fab app that gives you access to others’ mixtapes, that you can search for via tags or genre. Ideal for discovering new music. FREE windowsphone.com
FINAL 1511 Spare Time.indd 34
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Black Jacquard Sweater Geek chic is the new cool. Are you brave enough to wear it?
Joules Purple Caramel This flattering top will smarten up a pair of jeans.
Little Mistress Go all Stepford Wives in this adorable heart-neck frock.
MARKETWATCH THE POP UP @ SE10
Although it’s opened up in the shadows of the Olympic equestrian venue in Greenwich Park, this pop-up market offers much more than the 2012 merchandise flooding the shops. Inside the bright, airy venue you’ll be able to rummage around for some one-off finds from award-winning London designers. The Pop Up @ SE10 features winners of Fashion Week, Pulse, Grand Designs and London Design Week. Step inside the bright, airy venue for a change of pace of London’s tourist-filled streets. You’ll find everything from glass and ceramics, to art and homewares on small tables inside. Discover colourful lamps, beautiful homemade jewellery, unique small pieces for your home and larger as well as quirky goods. You have until August 23 to check it out and spend a quiet, casual afternoon wandering among its stalls. OPEN Until Aug 23, 12-8pm shopgreenwich.co.uk 20 Nelson Road, SE10 9JB Cutty Sark
Angels wellies Jazz up any festie outfit with these fun boots. mandmdirect.com
Boundary Cotton Bow Tie Could you carry off Harry Styles style ... and would you want to? smartturnout.com
Dotty Vans Guys, show your feminine side with these black polkas. surfdome.com
Jean Brodie pumps These Red Or Dead flats add a touch of comfy-butsmart chic. schuh.co.uk
Black and white cossie Don this little Fifties-style number and make a splash.
Cath Kidston brolly Keep dry in style with this cute-but-dotty design. fultonumbrellas.com
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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK
GORILLA CIRCUS Everyone’s dreamed of running away to join the circus, but now you can make it a reality – minus the clown makeup. Gorilla Circus Flying Trapeze School has daily trapeze classes where you’ll learn all kinds of nifty tricks you can impress your friends with after a few beers on a night out. For beginners or the less ambitious, book on to a “Try ‘n’ Fly” taster class during which you’ll get the chance to do one quick flight through the air. Or for something you can get your teeth into, take a full two-hour class that begins with a warm up, includes moves on a low bar, and then the finale is a trick on the Flying Trapeze. By the end of the class, they will have you flying through the air to be caught by a team member on a separate bar. Well, that’s the plan, anyway. Open until September and located in Regent’s and Battersea parks, taster classes are free, a two-hour class is £23.50, or if you’re going high-wire at the sound of this, you can do a four-week programme for £70.50. Get it booked in advance. Regent’s Park or Battersea Park gorillacircus.com
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Virtual gifts Make sure you’re not in the bad books on Father’s Day and send a pressie from London WORDS CAROL DRIVER When you’re travelling or living abroad, there are things you miss out on back home. Not just having to make do with Marmite instead of Vegemite, but anniversaries, engagements and birthdays. Once you’ve reminded yourself you’re having the trip of a lifetime, jump online and send a gift to mark the occasion and, of course, to make sure you’re not forgotten. With Father’s Day in Australia and New Zealand in just a matter of weeks (Sept 2, of course it hadn’t slipped your mind), here’s our pick of top websites to visit to buy great pressies. Get your order in now, while there’s still time ...
latestbuy.com.au WHAT: Broken down into categories – less than $30, gifts for oldies – this Australiabased site offers same-day dispatch, which is handy if you’ve left buying your pa a present until the last minute. Would your old man enjoy an inflatable beer bucket ($49.95), or is he a more practical sort who’d like an electric fly and mosquito zapper ($15.95)? DELIVERY: From $9.95 for a standard
five-day service delivery fee to anywhere in Australia, and $19.95 to New Zealand. Pay in Aus dollars.
redballoon.com.au; redballoon.co.nz WHAT: Surprise your dad with a skydive so he can get a taste of what you’ve been up to while on the road. This experience site offers tandem jumps across Australia and New Zealand from $285. Or, if he prefers to have his feet closer to the ground, book him a V8 driving experience where he’ll throw a supercar around a track (from $199) for a couple of laps. Check it out for everything from watersports to abseiling. DELIVERY: Voucher dispatched up to 72 hours after purchase. Pay in Aus dollars.
danmurphys.com.au WHAT: Everyone’s dad enjoys a drink or four, so a gift from this website will be more than pleasing to receive. If he’s into his vino, there’s a decent choice of top red and whites (starting for less than $10), or if you’re scratching around for funds, a four-pack of Three Oaks cider ($11.90) will at least put
Living the dream: a voucher for watersports beats a pair of socks 36
FINAL 1511 Health.indd 36
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New lease of life: buy your pa a skydive
Marc Jacobs Dot Smell all sweet with this new scent. £36.50 thefragranceshop.co.uk
a smile on his face. There’s a great selection of champers, beers and spirits, so your dad can have a drink on you. DELIVERY: Delivery charges are on a per case basis, and delivery starts from $7. Pay in Aus dollars. See the website for full details.
albelli.com WHAT: No doubt you’ve accumulated a mountain of photos while on your travels. Well, at this site, you can turn the best ones (er, not you at the Walkie with another conquest) into a gift for pa. albelli.com is pretty simple to use. For a photobook (from €7.95) just upload your images, decide on how many pages you want, design the images in the sequence you fancy, and hit send. You can also create photo calendars and diaries, make a canvas or send a personalised greeting card.
DELIVERY: Takes from seven days and charges start at €15. Pay in euros.
Dr Bronner’s Green Tea Soap Wash in pure hippy style. £1.99 kinetic4health.co.uk
giftsaustralia.com.au WHAT: Is your dad not only the head of the household but also the king of the BBQ? Then get him some tools he’ll really appreciate. You can buy guitar-shaped spatulas ($22.95) and tongs ($22.95) on this site, or your old man’s very own branding iron ($24.95), so he can sizzle his name into the meat. If you’re feeling generous, splash out on the Coopers home brew kit ($120). Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen? DELIVERY: Items NEXT WEEK take from two days to arrive in Australia, How to go all 50 and delivery is $9.95. Shades Of Grey Pay in Aus dollars.
SPAtopia Argan Body Oil High-intensity moisturiser. £6.99 sainsburys.co.uk
TOP TREATMENT: THE FULL WORKS Fellas: book a beard trim, a wet shave or go the whole hog and have the Full Ted Service at Ted’s Grooming Room. The latter costs £38.50 and includes a hair cut, shave, threading (your girlfriend will thank you), ear flaming (gets rid of the fluff), a hot towel, massage and style. Although there are branches of Ted’s across London, visit their new Ottoman Lounge for the ultimate gentleman’s experience. You won’t regret it, and you will go back. 31 Theobalds Road, WC1X 8SP
Tweezerman Hot For Dots Stay manicured with these minis. £5.50 lookfantastic.com
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SEND DAD THE G S REALLY WANTS FATHER’S DAY.
GIFT G HE S THIS Don’t forget your Dad back home in Australia this Father’s Day. Get him what he really wants at danmurphys.com.au Dan Murphy’s range features over 6,500 products, including all of Dad’s favourite beer, wine and spirits. And with Dan Murphy’s Lowest Liquor Price Guarantee*, you can be sure that you’re getting the perfect gift for Dad at the lowest possible price. Visit danmurphys.com.au and place your order by † Sunday 26 August for guaranteed delivery to Australian metro areas in time for Father’s Day.
L O W E S T L I Q U O R P R I C E G U A R A N T E E* Dan Murphy’s supports the responsible service and consumption of alcohol. *Conditions apply, visit danmurphys.com.au. We do not deliver to Northern Territory and parts of Queensland. †Guaranteed delivery applies to orders placed by 23:59 AEST Sunday 26 August for Metro deliveries. For a full list of Delivery Charges, Zones and Terms and Conditions, please visit http://danmurphys.com.au/help/delivery-information-content
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Are you man enough? Magic Mike
Jobs for the boys Fancy taking off your clothes for money? Stripping and parading on stage is no longer the preserve of women WORDS CAROL DRIVER Going to see a male stripper is usually top of the list for tacky hen nights. However, with quirky cabaret shows booming in London, there’s demand for men prepared to shed their clothes and get on stage every night of the week. The popularity of Magic Mike – starring Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey as strippers – proved it, becoming a surprise box office smash. But you don’t need to be ripped with muscles to perform. Male acts come in all shapes and sizes. So, guys, if you’re seriously considering baring all (or, at least, some) for the sake of entertainment, where do you start? Here, TNT tracks down those inthe-know in the industry, to give you a heads-up of what to expect. 40
Buff Boy Jacks, Cabaret artist Mos Lawrence, aka Buff Boy Jacks, performs every Saturday as part of the Wam Bam Club in Cafe de Paris. After training in musical theatre, Lawrence performed on stages around the world for 16 years. He got noticed by Lady Alex from the Wam Bam Club as he was walking his dog near his home in Soho. “It was sunny and I had taken my top off,” he says. “She saw my potential! Next thing, I’m stripping in front of hundreds of people.” Lawrence describes his act as “celebrating manliness with plenty of thrusting, bum wiggling and cheekiness”, having performed themes such as a “naughty nun and sexy sailor”. So how far does he go? “As far
as the licensing laws will let me!” he laughs. But while it may seem like a giggle, it’s a lot of hard work for which you’ll need confidence, a good sense of humour, and the ability to adapt to different audiences. “Having to keep fit at all times has meant I’ve had to say goodbye to chocolate and hello to early morning gym sessions. Needless to say, the harder you work, the more you will earn,” Lawrence adds.
Dave The Bear, Entertainer David Barnes’ started out the frontman in bands before making the move to burlesque as a singer. He joined an all-male troupe called Bearlesque, recalling: “I replaced a member and in a week I was on a West End
FINAL 1511 Careers.indd 40
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ON THE JOB CHRISTOPHER GRAZEBROOK CAREER Assistant store manager AGE 27 LIVES Brixton FROM Southampton How did you get into your line of work? I’ve spent more than 10 years working with food – from kitchen porter to private catering – and I saw this as an excellent opportunity to learn about tea and coffee to round off my education in high-end retail.
On stage: Buff Boy Jacks
Dave The Bear: working it
Photos: Logan Riehl; Getty; Thinkstock
stage doing comedy SALARY Expect anything up to For anyone striptease!” Now, he’s £20,000 when you’re starting out. considering a career doing solo “comedy, on the stage, he says TRAINING For cabaret, acts will burlesque, silly, highoften have a theatrical background. it’s important to keep energy” shows – in evolving as an artist, For stripping, you’ll need to have which he strips or wears a good body, which you look after adding: “It takes years leotards, wrestling of vocal training, acting (ditch the tinnies and burgers). outfits or feathery bits classes and ballet, You’ll also need to dedicate your – at Volupte. Barnes, tap, modern and jazz time to training, everything from who has qualifications dancing lessons. cardio to weightlifting if you’re in music technology, “It’s not all glitz taking your shirt off. earns at least £500 for and glamour. It’s work CHARACTER Retiring wall a corporate gig, but ethic and guts that get flowers need not apply! Make sure says it hasn’t always you there!” you’re confident and like to be in been that good. Stroughair is gearing the spotlight. “Expect to do unpaid up for his Velma Celli gigs for quite a while, show at Proud Cabaret or a split of the door,” he says.“Be City (proudcabaret.com) on September patient. Be humble. Be good. Then the 12. “It takes the audience on a satirical work will come. And don’t rub people journey through jazz, pop and musical up the wrong way!” theatre, and parodies your favorite TV (volupte-lounge.com) shows. It’s a laugh a second.”
Velma Celli, Drag artist
Training, stripper school
Ian Stroughair – stage name Velma Celli – got into performing 15 years ago, at the age of 14, then applied for a threeyear musical theatre course. After a career in the West End appearing in shows such as Cats, Fame and Chicago, Stroughair moved into direction and choreography, and also teaches at Pineapple Dance Studios. Evenings he can be found performing at Circus and Proud Cabaret.
Yes, that’s right, you can go back to school (sort of) to learn how to remove your clothes. adoniscabaret.co.uk offers an eight-week course. You’ll learn about the history of stripping (see, and you thought it was all about getting naked), music, costumes, stage NEXT WEEK shows and how to How to get handle enthusiastic a job in radio women. Right.
What do you do day-to-day? Lots of product training, learning about each product in depth – with how to brew, when to drink, where it’s from, and why it is unique. What’s the best part of your job? It is fascinating to meet customers from all over the world and learning about the different cultures, histories and ceremonies associated with tea. What’s the most challenging? Managing a team of seven girls! Seriously, it’s probably adapting to tastes, customs and cultures from around the world. theeastindiacompany.com
HOW TO ... DRESS FOR AN INTERVIEW You need to dress to impress at a job interview, but that doesn’t always mean looking formal.
• Suss out the company before
your big day. Is it a creative environment? Will you be meeting customers? Find out and then dress appropriately.
• If your interviewers are casual and you’re sweating in a suit jacket, take it off.
• Above all, make sure your
clothes are clean and don’t smell. It won’t create a good first impression...
FINAL 1511 Careers.indd 41
tntjobs.co.uk GALLOWGLASS T: 0845 300 2468 www.gallowglass.co.uk Gallowglass is UKs leading crewing company to the sporting and events industry, working for TV, theatre, film and outdoor production companies.
FAIRTRADES LTD T: 0151 6093508 fairtrades.co.uk FairTrades /HomePro, started in 1983, are one of the UK’s largest providers of vetted tradesmen and insurance across the Home Improvement Sector.
ORIGIN T: 020 7617 7894 www.origincare.com
JOB OF THE WEEK: Crew Location: London Salary: £8 - £11 per hour + skills payments Gallowglass is involved in many aspects of the 2012 Games as well as our on-going work, and has vacancies for friendly, enthusiastic and outgoing people to join our crew. You will need to be physically fit, have excellent spoken English, be adaptable, happy to work anti-social hours and have a can-do attitude. CV to email@example.com or fill in our on line form at www.gallowglass.
JOB OF THE WEEK: Self Employed Field Sales Agents Location: Work from home Salary: Commission Based Salary You will be a self motivated individual, customer focused with experience in self employed field sales. You will be able to source and close your own generated leads Warren Stiles | 0151 6093508 | firstname.lastname@example.org
JOB OF THE WEEK: Live-In Carers Location: London & South East Salary: £574 per week
Live-in roles typically of 2 weeks on and 1 week off. Free specialist training provided with Origin, a dedicated company established over 10 years.
Our clients are young adults with a spinal injury. We need positive people to help them live independently. Free accommodation, food and refunded travel expenses! Promotional prospects and higher rates of pay available.
JOB OF THE WEEK: Manager/Shop assistant Location: West London Salary: Manager £9/hr, Shop assistant £7.00/hr
T: 020 7221 5083 www.theorchardcanteen.com Working at London’s River Cafe for the past three years, Natasha Abraham is opening The Orchard Canteen in September 2012
ATHENA CARE T: 0116 2044960 athenacare.co.uk Athena Care CQC rated ‘ Excellent’ BT Essence Of The Entrepreneur Winner Do You Have the Care Factor!
John Hardy | 020 7617 7894 | email@example.com
Serving customers, looking after the shop, talking about the food, ensuring that a clean hygeinic approach is taken by all staff members. Tuesday- Saturday 7 am – 4pm 020 7313 7747 | firstname.lastname@example.org
JOB OF THE WEEK: Live in Care Workers Location: UK Wide Salary: £1596 (working for 4 weeks) Permanent Work, Choice of Working Weeks, Full Training Provided , Assistance With Interview Costs, Drivers Preferable But Not Essential. 0116 2044960 (24hrs) to request an application pack| Email your CV to email@example.com
T: 07716 376 408
JOB OF THE WEEK: Best Backpackers Jobs ever Location: UK, Ireland, Canada, Australia, New Zealand Salary: Average £600 pw. Make £10,000 by Christmas
IPG is an international company marketing leisure events (paintball, go-karting, theme parks).
Work as part of a team at outdoor shows/indoor shopping centres across the country. See the sights, and have fun along the way. IPG’s promo teams comprise 150+ Aussies, Kiwis, Canadians, and more. Free drinks every Friday night. 07716 376 408
Looking for your next job? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact Matt Syder | 020 7989 0491 | firstname.lastname@example.org
JOBS 10/8/12 17:25:52
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The 2012 Golden Backpack Awards are taking place on October 25. Your vote counts! Go online and register your votes and you could win yourself an iPad.
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Call us on 020 7916 7270 or email your CV to email@example.com
tntjobs.co.uk FAIRLIGHT HALL T: 07879 775 561 www.fairlighthall.co.uk
JOB OF THE WEEK: HOUSE MANAGERS (LIVE IN) Location: Fairlight-Hastings, East Sussex Salary: Negotiable (Depending on experience)
We are a family of four looking to replace our Kiwi couple who are returning home in November. Successful applicants will help with the day to day running of our private estate.
The roles will be to cook good fresh meals to a high standard, including dinner parties and some lunch parties. You will also need to do food orders, including their London apartment, day-to-day running of the estate, including general maintenance, IT and security work and liaising with contractors.
PHYLLIS COURT CLUB
JOB OF THE WEEK: Waiting Staff, Front office coordinator Location: Henley on Thames Salary: Waiter circa £12,000, Front office coordinator £13,000 live in possible
T: 01491 570546 phylliscourt.co.uk
Ty Rountree | 07879 775 561 | firstname.lastname@example.org
Lively busy country house club on the banks of the River Thames offering first class dining, accommodation for over 3000 members.
Waiting staff-serving food and drink in bar, bistro and fine dining restaurants Front office coordinator-role includes meeting and greeting guests making reservations and other reception duties.
JOB OF THE WEEK: Nanny/ Therapist Location: Canary Wharf Salary: Upon Application
T: 07946 117470
Psychology, Education, SLT or OT graduate would be preferred. Gold-standard training in ABA (Applied Behaviour Analysis) will be provided. General nanny duties. 4 hours per day, Monday – Friday, commences August 24th.
Laid back & sociable family, with a delightful 4 year old son with mild Autism.
Please send c.v’s to : email@example.com
Sonal Mistry | 07946 117 470 | Sonalmistry_6@hotmail.com
Looking for your next job? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY
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Kuhn Rikon Look like a pro in the kitchen with this kitsch design qvcuk.com
Find a flatmate online The best way to search for a new room is on the web. Here are TNT’s best sites
Search right: you could be this happy. Get it wrong, you may end up in the house below
WORDS CAROL DRIVER
Clic Sargent sign For the baker in your life shopclicsargent.org.uk
Polka dot fleeces Cover up dirty sofas houseofbath.co.uk
Spoke Start your day with a stylish cuppa spode.co.uk
Finding somewhere to live can be an arduous task – hours traipsing around smelly squats trying to find a castle could be better spent down the pub. But it doesn’t need to be that difficult. The first thing to suss out is where you want to live. Do you want nonstop nightlife, or would you rather be able to sleep at night? Start by making a checklist of all the things that are important to you, such as location and how close you need to be to the Tube or work, then decide on whether you want to rent a room or find a flatshare (and what type of people you want to live with). The next step is easy – get searching. James Davis, of lettings agent upad.co.uk, says: “When searching online, always look for listings that have photos: if they don’t, then they may be hiding something – leading to a disappointing viewing. “Look at what similar rooms are going for – by doing this you can ensure you make the right choice and get value-for-money.” He adds if you see a room you like, act immediately: “Demand is very high at the moment, with stiff competition from other prospective tenants. Get in there first.” To open up your options, buddy up and look for like-minded renters and full properties rather than just a room. Lastly, Davis advises: “If you want to find out more about a room, call to enquire. This shows you are much more keen and active, than if you were to just send an email.” Here’s our pick of the best sites to find
rooms and flatshares in London. To be on the safe side, always view with a friend, and don’t hand over any cash without a contract.
spareroom.co.uk WHAT: This site makes room-hunting easy. Search for a specific area in London or by Tube zones to ensure you’re close to where you need to be. You can also decide whether you want to look for a room on your own or a buddy up – placing an ad reaching more than 400,000 users for the type of property you’re after, with the option to team up with other room seekers. At this point, and also when you’re searching the room and
flat adverts, you can specify exactly what you want – from the age of your fellow housesharers and their interests, to gardens and broadband. It currently has 12,000 rooms available in London. Contact the landlords via the site or by phone.
FINAL 1511 Living.indd 44
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TOP TIPS Jenny Holland, of south London estate and lettings agent, Wooster & Stock, suggests potential flatmates: ✓ Clarify who pays the bills (landlord/ tenants) and also which ones you will be liable for ✓ Ask what services are provided within the tenancy (cleaning, telephone, TV, internet, garden service) and if not, how are they carried out ✓ Enquire about the terms of the lease/ contract/ tenancy agreement and whether it brings additional liability for these additional services
COST: Register to place an advert, but it’s free to use with options to upgrade for ‘early bird’ notifications from £9.49 for seven days.
uk.easyroommate.com WHAT: When we log on, more than 2000 new flatmates and rooms had been added to the site in the past 24 hours. Searching ‘I need a room’ in London produces 3778 options, which we whittle down by adding details such as our maximum rent, moving date and duration we want to be in the property for. Users can then specify what type of flatmates they want – age, occupation, gender – add a few details about themselves, then register to produce the final results. There are options to contact these via the site or by phone. COST: No charge.
Gumtree.com There are more than 33,192 rooms and flatshares available in London currently on the site. Even though you can search by date added, it’s difficult to vouch for whether the rooms or flats are still available, so it could mean a lot of legwork. We make two calls to landlords who say the property advertised have already been taken, but they do add that they have similar rooms available. Tweak your search terms by room, property and seller (agency/ private) type as well as price range and ads with images. COST: Free to search.
✓ If a deposit is required, who it is paid to and how can they retrieve this fairly at the end of the agreement. Is the deposit protected? How will any disputes be adjudicated? Speedflatmating.com This puts the fun into finding a flatmate. Following a speed-dating format, you can mingle with up to 100 likeminded people who are also searching for flatmates, or landlords. Last year, 11,000 people attended the events (pictured). After you’ve decided where you want to live, register on the site for the event that’s held in that area. When you turn up, fill out a name badge with where you’re looking to rent and how much you want to spend, then wander around finding other home-hunters you can team up with. Alan Bonvouloir, 28, who was looking for a place near Fulham, said: “It’s a great way to socialise and see if you get along with NEXT WEEK that person, because Spotlight on you have to live with Notting Hill Gate them.” COST: Free.
✓ Are there policies about visitors, guests and friends allowed to sleep over? ✓ Are there shared facilities/ kitchen equipment/ cupboards? Is there a roster/ schedule? ✓ Who should they contact if there are any management issues or any additional requirements? ✓ Have they met the other tenants? Do they get on? ✓ Are there any signs of damage, accidental or environmental?
FINAL 1511 Living.indd 45
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Fighting talk: what mX ran
PAPER UNDER FIRE FOR ‘FOOLISH’ GAG NAUGHTY NORTH KOREA North Korea has responded to Aussie newspaper mX after it labelled the country ‘Naughty Korea’ in a tonguein-cheek London 2012 medals table. The regime issued a missive to mX – which called democratic South Korea ‘Nice Korea’ – calling the joke “foolish”. A statement accused mX of “insulting the Olympic spirit of solidarity, friendship and progress and politicising sports”. The paper’s editors said: “North Korea’s political leadership is no stranger to global criticism and it would be difficult for anyone to fail to see the comment was aimed directly at that record.” TWEETS OF THE WEEK @j4ckwinter The last day of the Olympics should be all gold medalists having a game of dodgeball to decide who is the ultimate champion @_L_M_C_ I can’t get enough of all these inspiring women winning at the Olympics. I’ve got a heroine addition @Charles_HRH It’s lovely of the government to organise a recession so majority of the country can enjoy the Games without having a job to go to
LUNDY TO ROW AFTER MEDAL BET DEFEAT AUSTRALIA Aussie sports minister Kate Lundy will wear a Team GB Olympic kit and row around the Eton Dorney lake in a lap of shame after losing her bet on Australia vs Britain’s London 2012 medal haul. Lundy had a wager with UK sports minister Hugh Robertson with the loser having to don their counterpart’s Olympic kit for a public display of humiliation. 46
Slumming it: as this Twitter photo shows, even top athletes can be down-to-earth. Leaving their chauffeur-driven cars at home, multi-millionaire LeBron James, front right, and other members of the US basketball team travel by train to Stratford’s Olympic Park. Although, they didn’t choose to stay at the Athletes’ Village, booking a hotel instead
“There are a lot people back home wishing we have more gold medals,” Lundy said. Of the bet, she added: “I cheerfully conceded I will be rowing out at Eton Dorney, we did have our medal bet on in our traditional wager. This time, you guys are on top.”
OLYMPIC SWIMMERS ADMIT POOL PISSING UNITED KINGDOM Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte have admitted to urinating in the pool during London 2012 warm-up sessions. The 18-time gold medallist Phelps spoke out after his Olympic wins to support Lochte, who caused
an outcry when he said he admitted to pissing in the pool at the Aquatics Centre. Phelps, 27, said we should all relax about the issue. “Everybody pees in the pool. It’s kind of a normal thing to do for swimmers. When we’re in the water for two hours, we don’t really get out to pee. Chlorine kills it so it’s not bad,” he said. Lochte, 28, who has won five Olympic golds, and recently claimed that the Olympic village is one big sex party, said: “I think there’s just something about getting into chlorine water that you just automatically go.” So did Lochte piss in the n 2012 012 pool during the London ring ng g the th th Games? “Not during ure ree did d before be races, but I sure m-up -u -up up ” u in warm-up.”
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IN NUMBERS 5
Number, in pieces, Cuban pole vaulter Lazaro Borges’s pole snapped as he attempted to launch himself 5.35 metres
Happy days: Rummel, second from left
RUMMEL EXCITED ABOUT BRONZE WIN
KIWI HOUSE BARBIE ENDS IN DISASTER
Photos: Ge Getty G
UNITED KINGDOM Three hundred Olympic supporters were evacuated from Kiwi House after two gas bottles exploded. Fire raged at the venue near King’s Cross in London on Wednesday night, but luckily no one was injured. Fire services rushed to the scene – where a BBQ was being held to mark New Zealand v Netherlands hockey game – and brought the flames under control. Andrew Potter, a New Zealand Herald reporter who was on the scene, said: “Completely without warning a barbecue a at the back of the bar on the outside
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Up in smoke: Kiwi House
UNITED KINGDOM Winning a medal is no doubt exciting, but was Henrik Rummel a bit too excited after scooping bronze? In a video posted on YouTube, the Men’s Four rower shifts awkwardly on the podium, bearing a suspicious bulge below the belt. “The Boner should have gotten The Gold Medal!”said one commenter. Shortly afterwards, the rower took to Reddit under the username Rummelator, saying: “This is me and I swear it’s not erect! I don’t know why it ended up in that position, but there you go.” The 24-year-old had just won a bronze medal in the coxless race with his teammates for the US, coming third after Australia scooped silver and Team GB gold. But, we shouldn’t be too hard on this guy, he is an Olympic champion, after all!
Hours UK Parkinson’s sufferer Mark Worsfold was held for by police for ‘failing to smile at or enjoy the Games’
Time, in seconds, Sarah Attar, the first Saudi woman to compete in the Games, finished behind her 800m competitors
Weight, in tonnes, of cheese expected to be served up to athletes and sports fans throughout the London Olympics
section of the bar appears to have erupted in flames and within seconds the entire pop-up bar was in flames sending hundreds of young Kiwis running.” It isn’t clear when Kiwi House, a hospitality house for the London 2012 Olympics, will reopen.
OLYMPIC SUPERFAN DIES AT LONDON 2012 UNITED KINGDOM A sportsfan who attended every day of the Games died of a heart attack while watching cycling at the velodrome. Conrad Readman, 49, from Essex, spent months scouring websites for tickets and had taken two weeks off work to see the events. But Readman became ill as he watched Victoria Pendleton win gold. The chartered accountant was discovered in the venue’s toilets and is believed to have died from a heart attack. Readman had seen 16 different sports and the Opening Ceremony before he died. His mother said he had died doing something he loved.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK I was disappointed when you didn’t go to jail for insider dealing or phone hacking, but you know, each to their own A fake Bradley Wiggins account on Twitter responds to a tweet by Piers Morgan who criticised the cyclist for not singing the national anthem after winning gold. It may have been a faux account, but it’s what we were all thinking, right?
Bowled Over The sun’s come out and we figured it’s time for a barbie, some tunes and a roll on the lawn
lawn bowls tournament Grab a bunch of mates and head down for an afternoon of barefoot bowls
For the rib-licious experience, we smoke it low cook it slow
dj live entertainment All day entertainment till late
Our first ever Barefoor Bowls event Tickets
When: Sunday Sept 9 - From Midday Southwark Sports Bowls Club, SE21 7EU
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TNT puts the world to rights
COMMENT: LAURA CHUBB firstname.lastname@example.org
Did magic wheels help Jason Kenny beat Grégory Baugé? Er, no
Sportsmanship the biggest loser at London 2012
Why the whining defeated are the shame of the Games
‘Magic wheels’. The old ‘plonk yourself down and refuse to move in the manner of a sulky five-year-old’ ruse. Wild accusations of deliberately delayed buses. After an irresistibly thrilling two weeks of Olympics fervour, it’s a shame to point out that the ‘sportspeople’ who were at their whingey worst will be remembered just as vividly as the medal-adorned heroes. But point it out I will. On a world stage meant to celebrate the inspirational dedication and awe-inspiringly admirable feats of individuals from across the globe, a disheartening array of alleged adults proved themselves absolute fucking children. The French were arguably the worst offenders. Unable to bear their inferiority against Team GB in the cycling, Gallic team director Isabelle Gautheron started making rumblings about cheating. “They hide their wheels a lot,” she accused. “The ones for the bikes they race on are put in wheel covers at the finish.” That not just adults, but supposed professionals, should show themselves up as such astoundingly sore losers is a damning demonstration of poor sportsmanship at a high level. It seems the French prefer to risk looking childish by grasping desperately at far-fetched conspiracy theories that don’t cast them as losers over conceding defeat like a grown up. Similarly startling was South Korean fencer Shin A-Lam’s impromptu sit-in after she lost in the semi-finals. She spent an hour crying in front of spectators and refusing to budge. Then, when the bus carrying the Brazilian women’s football team broke down the night before their match against Team GB, several players started screeching that it was a deliberate plot to put them off. In direct opposition to LOCOG’s legacy plans, I do hope these Olympic tantrums don’t ‘inspire a generation’ of unsporting squabblers. OK, I suppose it comes as a surprise to be beaten at sport by the British. But it’s time other nations learned to swallow the loser’s lie that it’s ‘not about the winning, but taking part’. » Agree or disagree? Are the French sore losers? email@example.com
BRONZE BONER DENIAL: UNLIKELY American rower Henrik Rummel has insisted he wasn’t sporting an Olympicsized boner when receiving his bronze medal for coxless rowing (ho ho). The athlete allegedly took to Reddit to deny one of the London Games’ most memorable moments, in which what looked very much like a massive erection stood tall in Rummel’s unforgivingly skintight shorts. “This is me and I swear it’s not erect!” a person claiming to be Rummel posted on the site. “I don’t know why it ended up in that position but there you go.”
Not erect? Don’t flatter yourself
However, the notion that the truncheon in Rummel’s trunks was the result of a freak ‘positioning’ episode is a serious challenge to the concept of suspension of disbelief; well, either that or Rummel’s future dating prospects, if that is indeed the measure of the man when unexcited. Not erect? Don’t flatter yourself, Rummel. We have eyes. TNTMAGAZINE.COM
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Olympic legacies The running and jumping is over, so what next for Stratford? WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON
The Olympics have been a spectacular success. For many, it has been a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, the chance to represent Team GB in a hometown Games – but for others, the hard work is only just beginning to ensure London 2012’s legacy is more than just that. A key component of the successful 2005 bid in Singapore was legacy – both for the regeneration of the East End and for increased sports uptake at a grassroots level. The goalposts for these aims, though, have shifted since that decision and it is hard not to see them moving again. Before London won the Games, Stratford was a deprived area of London, with radioactive material dug up during the park’s construction, and ‘fridge mountain’ an early adopted image that represented the area’s standing. At the time, life expectancy in Stratford was seven years less than in Westminster, a mere seven Tube stops away. The mood of the media, and of the city, in 2005 was that the Olympics would be a farce and failure, but as Team GB soared to success and transport networks didn’t buckle, the mood turned into pride, and the aim is to do the same from this point on, too. “I have always seen London 2012 as a sustainable regeneration project interrupted by a few weeks of sport,” Shaun McCarthy, chair for the commission for a sustainable London 2012, said last week. “East London has exploded on to the world stage as a place to visit, live and work. However, much is still to be done to ensure the momentum is not lost.” In its simplest terms, according to Professor Ricky Burdett, chief adviser on architecture and urbanism for London 2012, the aim is to make Stratford “a normal piece of land”. But how? The physical space occupied by the park has undergone considerable change. Where it had one main route through before, there are now 38 bridges and tunnels connecting the area with the rest of London. Some Olympic buildings will be removed – the Riverside hockey arena, the basketball stadium, both less popular sports in the UK – and the 50
Olympic Village, reborn as East Village, will have more than 2800 new homes. There will also be six acres of wetland five new parks and a new medical centre. The problem facing this development is integrating the new Stratford residents with those who called E20 home before ‘the greatest show on earth’ came to town and to knit the Village together with the rest of London. Key to ensuring the East Village’s place as a ‘normal piece of land’ is employment; a “happy city is an economically active one,” explains deputy mayor of London for business
The hard work is only just beginning
and enterprise Kit Malthouse, whose role is to promote London as an international venue for business. Jobs at a local level are equally as important, though, and there needs to be continued employment to sustain the new population and to support the ‘raised expectations’ those living there are intended to have. The infrastructure is in place to ensure this is an achievable outcome, yet it remains to be seen whether the second legacy component, the sporting one, can be quite so readily achieved. Olympics Minister Hugh Robertson announced in 2010 the £135m lottery initiative Places People Play, intended to promote sports and its uptake across the nation. “[It] is the cornerstone of the grassroots legacy from hosting the Olympics and Paralympics, because it delivers on the bid pledge of enabling more people of all ages and abilities to play sport,” he said. Goals include upgrading up to 1000 sports clubs and facilities, improving playing fields, and recruiting and training 40,000 sports leaders to run
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(Clockwise) The Olympic Village; Stratford in the past; and in the future
grassroots events. Yet there are those who remain sceptical about the real long term impact the Olympics will have. “It will be interesting to see if the London organisers achieve their ambitious plans to turn the UK into a more active nation, or whether the results have the same ‘firework effect’ we found in Athens,” queried Dr Sakis Pappous, of the Centre for Sports Studies at the University of Kent, at the time of the initiative’s announcement. There was only a six per cent increase in sporting activity between 2003 and 2004 in the Greek capital, and five years on from the 2004 Athens Games, a 13 per cent drop in those saying they regularly exercised was reported, showing their ‘legacy’ was shortlived. With so much based on long-term goals, it will be some time before judgements can be made on whether they have been reached – whether the East Village is a thriving new London borough, and whether young school kids have been inspired to become the next Jessica Ennis or Mo Farrah. “The biggest threat to the legacy plans are that it moves off the political radar,” Burdett says. “It needs to stay red hot on the political agenda for the next 20 years.” A day in politics is a long time, though, and a change in government/ London mayor/ any one of a number of external factors, could see today’s plans drastically reimagined by tomorrow. The gold medal glow still lingers but there is legitimate cause, and precedent, for concern. The Olympic Stadium’s future, key to the sporting legacy, remains undecided, with a decision due in October on whether it will be a home for athletics, football, F1 or entertainment, or all of the above. London will just hope it doesn’t suffer a similar fate to Beijing’s Bird’s Nest, which remains a rusting and redundant husk four years on. At least it looks like it will not be another Millenium Dome, barren and unused until a private mind enters the fray, but its athletics legacy has been a hardfought battle.
What next for the Olympic Stadium?
THE £486M DILEMMA THE STADIUM’S LEGACY Athletics is not as popular as football, and football grounds with athletics tracks between pitch and fan less popular than those without – this is the crux of the stadium dilemma. The battle over who will be the new tenant of the £486m Olympic stadium was key evidence for the Games naysayers, with West Ham and Spurs tangling over the post-summer 2012 residency, and a debate arising over athletics’ role in the stadium’s future, particularly the presence of the track. There were those who wanted to tear it up and take it out, and those who argued, correctly, its continued presence was a key component of the initial bid. A decision’s due in October, but one thing has been decided – the track will stay whatever, preserving athletics in the East End, and this was integral to the awarding of the 2017 World Championships to London.
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South African beers and snacks
i a a r B r e k k e L s u o s & p a p h wit Great beer garden Our kitchen opens at the end of august an d we will be serving trad itional home made meals including awesome pub snacks 7 days a week.
Come in and Watch All the SA 4 Nations games And Currie Cup Matches! Enjoy the coming rugby season with us at Jannieâ€™s Pub & Grub. The braai will be cooking up authentic South African foods and as always we have your favourite South African beers and snacks.
02087882363 Facebook Jannieâ€™s PubandGrub Email firstname.lastname@example.org 90 Inner Park road Southfields. SW19 6 DA. Phone
SA TIMES S O U T H A F R I C AT I M E S . C O . U K
South Africa must-sees
MIXING IT UP
Samantha Blackburn talks girl power
PHOTO OF THE WEEK South Africaâ€™s Oscar Pistorius made history by becoming the first amputee sprinter to compete at the Olympics. The four-time Paralympic champion, 25, whose legs were amputated below the knee as a baby, ran in the 400m and 4x400m relay
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SA TIMES S O U T H A F R I C AT I M E S . C O . U K
On the decks: Samantha Blackburn
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MIXING IT UP
From making mix tapes in her bedroom in South Africa to headlining London clubs, Samantha Blackburn talks about girl power and gearing up to play Zimfest WORDS CAROL DRIVER
Having been hailed by Mixmag as a DJ to keep an eye on, Samantha Blackburn is storming the London music scene. The South African has secured gigs at some of the capital’s coolest clubs, taking her unique mix of soulful melodies, banging beats and rolling tribal tech to the crowds. It’s a far cry from where she began, her love affair with music ignited after she was given a Walkman for her ninth birthday while living in Pretoria. Blackburn would wile away her nights listening to Nirvana, The Cure, Violent Femmes and R.E.M, inspired by the sounds and lyrics. Her first step towards becoming a DJ was making mix tapes for friends. Soon after moving to London in 2003, Blackburn was invited to make her debut in Mooch, and was such a hit she went on to play at Zombie Soundsystem, Tape and Jaded. A few years later, she was offered a residency at Get Diverted terrace parties in Brixton, serving up top tunes with a tribal influence to the summer crowds. She has also started her own club nights, with fellow DJ Chloe Fontaine, called Byrds, a monthly night showcasing female spinners. Blackburn says: “Men tend to think that it’s easier for you as a woman, sometimes it’s pretty hard for people to take you seriously, and I’ve also experienced men pushing their weight around behind the booth. “We set up Byrds as a way to give women a platform and to get more females in the booths.” The 32-year-old is currently gearing up to play a Saturday night gig at Zimfest, a festival celebrating all things Africa. The event, on Aug 18-19, started life as a massive expat piss-up in London to raise funds for back home, as well
as to drown sorrows about the political plight in Zimbabwe. Eleven years later, it has grown into a global event, with festivals taking place around the world, including South Africa and Australia. “It’s important for me to be a part of this festival as I’m reaching out to a different crowd,” Blackburn says. “I’m normally playing the underground club scene, so I’ll be showing a different style of music to different people. And my music has a lot of African influences, so it fits well.” This year’s two-day event, taking place in Isleworth, on the outskirts of west London, boasts music, sport, food and culture. And Blackburn will be in good company, with a host of musicians taking to the stage throughout the event. Fellow South Africans include Pinise Saul & The Lucky Ranku Band, and The Spindle Sect. Festival organiser Hilton Mendelsohn says: “We’re really excited to have Samantha on board – she’s a very good DJ, and it also helps us break down the wall of men you’re faced with when it comes to DJs.” Mendelsohn, who has seen the festival grow, says the secret behind its success is appeal to a wide audience. “We’re bringing in some Australian and New Zealand influences, sharing a similar culture,” he says. “We all like a good BBQ/ braai, a few beers and to throw a ball around outdoors. It’s very exciting to present Zimbabwe and South Africa
culture to a wider audience.” And that is something close to Blackburn’s heart, as she recently returned from a visit to South Africa, playing in the clubs she used to party in years ago. She says: “The music scene tends to be slightly behind in parts of the country, whereas London is more at the forefront with new artists emerging all the time, but they are hungry for new music. The scene is growing to what I think will be an amazing one.” FOR MORE INFO on Samantha Blackburn see facebook.com/samanthablackburndj Tickets for Zimfest are £12. Grasshoppers RFC, MacFarlane Lane (Off Syon Lane), Osterley, TW7 5PN Syon Lane
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SA TIMES S O U T H A F R I C AT I M E S . C O . U K
If you’ve been to the Olympic Park, chances are you’ve walked past the Diving Girl. Standing at three-and-ahalf metres tall, the bronze sculpture has been greeting dignitaries, athletes and sports fans, and will be on display until the close of the Paralympics. It’s the only work of art in the park commissioned to a South African artist, and took Jill Berelowitz eight months to complete. Hailing from Johannesburg, Berelowitz, who moved to London 27 years ago, found inspiration in the iconic Jantzen Diving
Girl created in the 1920s, and evolved it into a contemporary stylised logo, with classic sweeping lines. “When I was commissioned to do the piece, I knew it had to be appropriate for the Olympics,” Berelowitz explains. “So, although it’s cast in bronze, it’s a turquoise bluey green colour, as I wanted it to look as though it’s diving into the water.” The Olympic commission further enhances Berelowitz’s position as one of today’s leading sculptures. Her high-profile work includes
the life-size Pair Oar rowers at Henleyon-Thames, an exhibition for beauty company Elizabeth Arden, a rugby trophy for the Investec Challenge series, and Core Femme in Cavendish Square for the Westminster City of Sculpture Festival. Berelowitz said: “It is a great privilege and honour to have my Diving Girl selected for the London Olympic Village and to participate in the London Olympic celebration (especially) in the Queen’s Jubilee year.” jillberelowitz.com
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Calling South Africans abroad to help
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SOUTH AFRICA MUST SEES: TOP 5
2 SHAKA ZULU
3 ST MARCUS
Every inch of this iconic South Africa-themed venue is decked out in traditional decorations. Expect to be greeted by gigantic towering statues as well as tribal carvings over the walls of this two-storey restaurant and cocktail lounge. It’s a cavernous venue, tucked away in an innocuous corner of Camden’s Stables, with two upstairs bars and a downstairs dining room. Sup a cocktail from the extensive list before heading for dinner. You’ll recognise traditional cuisine native to South Africa and the subSaharan region, but the Shaka Zulu chefs have given it a twist. The mains are a carnivore’s delight – there’s a special braai menu featuring an exquisite springbok loin as well as a delicious boerewors sausage. Or try the spit roast, which varies day-to-day, but comes seasoned with an African relish called chakalaka.
Droewors, boerewors, sosaties and biltong. If those words alone get your mouth watering, head to this South Africa shop, which offers a taste from home. With two venues – one in Roehampton in south-west London, and another in Surrey – St Marcus is renowned for stocking first-rate foods and Saffa products. As well as a speciality butcher offering everything from sosaties and ribs, to chicken flatties and springbok burgers, you’ll find booze, groceries, health products as well as clothing and confectionery. “One of the most amazing emporia the capital offers to the carnivorous gourmet,” its website boasts. “For the past 35 years, people in the know have been flocking to St Marcus for ... fine specialty meat products. They may happen to be South African, or just – well, carnivorous gourmets.”
Showcasing the very best of South Africa’s heritage, tourism, arts and culture, Ekhaya exhibition venue serves as a home-from-home for Saffas in London for the Games. Dance to top SA bands, stuff your face with first-class traditional cuisine, wander around art exhibitions, and, maybe, meet some athletes as the centre opens for the Paralympics. “The hospitality centre is intended to unite South Africans across race, gender, culture, geographical location, social status and class through sport, thereby promoting social solidarity,” a spokesman says. Ekhaya – a Nguni word meaning ‘home’ – will be situated at the Queen Elizabeth Hall, in the Southbank Centre, between August 29 and September 9, from 10am to 10pm. Fikile Mbalula, SA minister for sport and recreation, called it an “opportunity for SA to sell itself“.
“Edgy, powerful, provocative”, the Afrovibes festival is heading to the UK for a three-week run of dance, theatre, music and spoke word from South Africa and beyond. Fresh from performing at the Edinburgh Fringe, two South African plays will be entertaining audiences. Award-winning director Princess Mhlongo will bring And The Girls In Their Sunday Dresses, featuring comedian actresses Lesego Motsepe and Hlengiwe Lushaba. And Mother To Mother brings together the skills of three powerhouse women of the arts in South Africa – author Sindiwe Magona, director Janice Honeyman and actress Thembi Mtshali Jones – in a moving performance. As well as entertainment, you can also enjoy authentic South African food and drink at the Township Cafe, while top DJs do their thing. The event takes place in various London venues from October 1.
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ADAMS PHILOSOPHICAL ABOUT GAMES EXIT SHOT PUT NZ’s Valerie Adams says she holds no grudges against the administrator whose mistake almost led to her being barred from Olympics competition. Adams embraced Raelene Bates, who forgot to tick boxes on forms relating to Adams’ availability, after winning silver in the shot put. Only a last-minute appeal by NZOC secured her right to compete. However, Adams says she is more concerned officials higher up the chain didn’t spot the error and fix it. “It caused a bit of stress – that’s the sort of shit you don’t need to deal with,” she said. “But my manager will deal with it.”
GET A LIFE, CARNEY TELLS STIRRERS RUGBY LEAGUE Sharks star Todd Carney has told rumour-mongers trying to damage his NRL career to think of something better to do, after revealing the torment behind false speculation of a failed drug test. Carney, who has successfully rebuilt his reputation after being axed by Sydney Roosters last year for a series of off-field incidents, said he was shocked at how an internet rumour gathered pace via Twitter. Carney, who was also sacked by Canberra in 2009, but played Origin for NSW this year, said he had no idea who started the rumours, but said it would not destabilise him or the club. “They’re getting their little bit of fame out of it and the person who started it is probably sitting back and laughing about it,” he said. “But they are going to have think of something better than that – at least come up with facts.” 60
Missing the Olympics already? We are. It’s not the same without a daily feast of sports to watch after work, the chance to cheer on your nation and the triumph and tragedy that makes up the theatre of the Games. However, the memories remain, like this one of US synchronised swimmers Mary Killman and Mariya Koroleva. Great form, girls
TOMIC CONTINUES DOWNWARD SPIRAL
BIG WEEK FOR ...
Young Australian goalkeeper Mathew Ryan remains hopeful of landing a deal with an English Premier League club, heading to West Brom and then Wigan, after enjoying time at Spurs last week. Named A-League keeper of the season for 2011-12, Ryan was drafted into the Australian squad for the first time in February, when the Socceroos met Saudi Arabia in a World Cup qualifier, and is considered one of Australia’s brightest prospects.
Australian tennis prodigy Bernard Tomic is in danger of dipping outside the ATP’s top 50 after a straight-sets loss to world number two Novac Djokovic in the second round of the Toronto Masters. In just eight weeks, the 19-year-old has slipped from a career-high world number 27 in June to 49th in the rankings. Unless he does performs spectacularly at this week’s Cincinnati Masters, the 2011 Wimbledon quarter-finalist will be at the mercy of the draw at the US Open starting on August 27, with no protection against the top 32 seeds in the first two rounds at Flushing Meadows.
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A ROW OF 12 HALFWAY LINE PLATINUM SEATS FOR YOU AND YOUR MATES AT WEMBLEY Saracens and TNT have teamed up to give one lucky reader the chance to win a whole row, that’s 12 seats at Wembley stadium (valued at £540), for their game against the Leicester Tigers on September 15. The platinum seats are directly on the halfway line,offering some of the best views in the national stadium. Saracens@Wembley continues to offer the best family day out in London and, on this occasion, another outstanding pre-game show will be headlined by Cover Drive live.
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QUOTES OF THE WEEK I really hope this win improves my pulling power with women, if I’m honest! That’s about it Gold medal-winning Team GB showjumper Scott Brash hopes he can cash in on his Olympic success
Rooney will again be crucial for United
PREVIEW English Premier League TEN GAMES
SKY SPORTS/ BBC MATCH OF THE DAY (HIGHLIGHTS) It’s back. Another eight months of wall-to-wall football coverage begins this weekend. No matter where you go in London, you’ll be expected to have a chat about the EPL, so pick a team, brush up on the players and book a seat at the pub each weekend afternoon. Manchester City start their title defence at home against Southampton, with the Saints, the EPL’s new boys on the block, undergoing a baptism of fire.
Wigan host European champions Chelsea and will get a first taste of the skills of the Blue’s new signing, Eden Hazard. Chelsea have predicted more trophies this season and will be out to make a statement. And up north, Wayne Rooney returns to Everton, where it all began for him. United will remember, and be keen to avenge, the Toffee’s remarkable fightback to draw 4-4 in April, a match that helped City take the title. Of the London clubs, Fulham host Norwich, QPR welcome Swansea, West Ham face Villa, Arsenal welcome Sunderland and Spurs are away at Newcastle.
THE CHAT | The Paralympics
Rio Ferdinand has tweeted me and says he will hook me up for a trial so I am looking forward to that Usain Bolt is dead keen to trial for Manchester United. We all know he can run, but can he score?
I will definitely have a chat to him as I don’t think he should say things like that Springbok coach Heyneke Meyer is concerned by captain Jean de Villiers public criticism of his leadership
CRICKET taking a real interest in the Paralympics Q I’m this year. What’s the history and who should I be looking out for? event, which kicks off on August 29, was started in A The 1948 by British soldiers returning from WW2, although the name wasn’t adopted until Seoul 1988. It’s now one of the world’s largest sporting events. Australians should keep an eye out for Kurt Fearnley (right), who is seeking a third consecutive gold in the wheelchair marathon. When he’s not racing, Fearnley doesn’t relax, instead preferring to crawl the Kokoda Trail and sail the Sydney-to-Hobart yacht race. He’s a legend. Kiwis should be aware of swimmers Rebecca Duber and Beijing gold medallist Cameron Leslie, who’s also a handy wheelchair rugby player.
Australia v Nepal U19 World Cup action Monday, 12.30am. Sky Sports 1
BASEBALL San Francisco v Washington Top MLB action Tuesday, 2am. ESPN
CRICKET England v South Africa Day one, third test Thursday, 10.30am. Sky Sports 1 TNTMAGAZINE.COM
FINAL 1511 sports news.indd 63
Clockwise: Will Genia; Richie McCaw; Jean De Villiers; Agustin Creevy 64
FINAL 1511 SPORTS RUGBY.indd 64
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Prepare for war The Rugby Championship kicks off this weekend. We chat to two former Test players about the contenders and the pretenders
WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY
It’s time for the big boys to step up. The best rugby teams the northern hemisphere has to offer were dispatched in the June Tests and the focus now turns to the revamped Rugby Championship, featuring the Wallabies, All Blacks, Springboks and new entrants the Pumas, of Argentina. The All Blacks, now world champions who smashed Ireland 60-0 in their last outing, may appear favourites, but the Championship is arguably the sport’s toughest international competition, the level of rugby and the amount of travel involved meaning there is never a soft game. Former All Black captain Sean Fitzpatrick, who played 92 Tests for his country, says South Africa, despite a recent 21-21 draw with England, will not lie down, and Australia, the competition’s current champions, are a wily side with something to prove. And, he says, don’t underestimate Argentina, who have been given a helping hand by former New Zealand World Cup-winning coach Graham Henry. “The Pumas are a very good side – if they can get their top players on the field,” Fitzpatrick says. “The structures Henry will put in place will benefit them in years to come. The things he implemented with Wales all those years ago, we’re starting to see them bear fruit now. Still, right now, the Pumas can compete with the best.” Of the All Blacks, Fitzpatrick says new faces on the periphery, guys such as Crusaders centre Robbie Fruean and Chiefs halfback Tawera Kerr-Barlow, make it an exciting time to be an NZ fan. The depth in almost every position is comforting, too. “[New coach] Steve Hansen wants to create his own identity, and he’s going about that. There was a lot of talk after the World Cup of a hangover and I think they made it very clear against the Irish that they’d moved on from that,” he says. “This is a new team and the World Cup has nothing to do with it any more, which is great.” However, the midfield is the one worry. Centre Conrad Smith, who Fitzpatrick says has been in “the form of his life”, will not figure early in the competition, due to an eye injury, his leadership both on and off the field leaving a large gap. And then there’s the loss of Sonny Bill Williams, who was fantastic all season as part of the Chiefs Super 15-winning squad, but will soon leave to take up big-money contracts in Japanese rugby and then Australia’s NRL. If he’s not released to play against Australia, Hansen will have a puzzle. “Maybe Hansen could play Aaron Cruden at number 10, Dan Carter at 12 and Ma’a Nonu at 13,” Fitzpatrick suggests. “But he would be reluctant to move the best number 10 in world rugby to number 12. However, you never know. Whether Nonu has enough pace at 13 is another question …”
Despite a rosy outlook on the depth the All Blacks hold, Fitzpatrick is still loath to name them as favourites, and like all Kiwis, still worries what will happen should the side’s lynchpins, Carter and captain Richie McCaw, suffer injury. “Australia is always a tough side with their best XV on the field and South Africa has shown they were more than up to it against England,” he says. ”It’s going to be an exciting series.” Former Springbok Thinus Delport, who joins Fitzpatrick on Sky Sports’ punditry panel, would love to only be concerned about his country’s midfield stocks. South Africa’s locking ranks are so depleted, there’s talk of recalling veteran Bakkies Botha, who now plies his trade with Toulon. Add injuries to wing JP Pietersen and loose forward Shalk Burger, and Delport could be forgiven for being a little pessimistic. “If we’re missing a couple of first choices, and Morne Steyn’s kicking is not up to his usual very high standards, we’ll find it tough to compete,” Delport says. “We do have great frontline players – like midfielder Frans Steyn, hooker Bismarck du Plessis and lock Willem Alberts – who can win the series for us if they can stay largely injury free. The big challenge for the coaching staff this year with the extended series is the management of those key players.” The 18-test veteran says the Boks’ strength lies in a physical, mobile pack with big ball-carrying runners. “Behind the pack, Frans Steyn will also add a lot of bulk and momentum in the mid-field,” he says. “However, we lack an alternative if the big runners get stopped on or behind the gainline. Depth is still a concern, but my blood is green – the Boks can win it.” Delport also has confidence in new coach Heyneke Meyer, who has already copped heavy criticism from South African fans for his selections, and says the Springboks will be able to build on the foundations he has implemented so far. “He’s is a very well-organised coach who is very confident in the structures he has put in place,” Delport says. ”He is also a very good motivator and expects high standards. Although Meyer is a little bit conservative in his playing approach, the players will know exactly what to execute.” And by now, the members of the other three teams will know exactly what to execute, too. Attacking plans are in place, defensive strategies have been sussed. All that’s left to do is take the field and perform with the right combination of strength and skill. Granted, it’s far easier said than done, but the side that achieves it best (and suffers the least injuries) will truly be able to claim southern supremacy. Prepare for war. Sky Sports will show The Rugby Championship live and in HD beginning on Saturday, August 18.
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TNT puts the world to rights
COMMENT: ALASDAIR MORTON email@example.com
How long will the happy days last?
It’s judgement day for the Premier League’s new boys
But play your cards wrong, and life in the top tier can be shortlived
» Agree or disagree? How will the Premier League’s new boys fare? firstname.lastname@example.org 66
Team GB have managed a highly impressive, record-breaking, legacyboosting medal haul and five of these (three gold, one silver, one bronze) have been in dressage, surely one of the Games’ oddest sports. Debate will always rumble on as to what constitutes sport – skill, tactics or physical exertion – you’re unlikely to break a sweat on the shooting range. Yet dressage, in which horse and rider ballet round a course dancing for points, is a step further in the can-we-really-call-it-a-sport discussion. While it, and indeed archery, too, have their link to the Games’ history – both
Its relevance is diminshed
bows and horses would have been key to everyday life back in Ancient Greece – their relevance now is considerably diminished. With more contemporary sports, such as BMX, recently introduced, is it not time for a spot of culling at the other end? And not just to stop the Brits banging on about all their medals.
Forget the Olympics, they were yesterday’s news. This weekend features the return of the Barclays Premier League. The start of a new football season is a time of great optimism – anything can happen, and, amusingly, by the fortune of a couple of good results and the order of the alphabet, anyone can be top of the table by midSeptember. Last season’s blistering finale sets expectations sky high for this term. For the newly promoted trio of West Ham, Reading and Southampton, though, arrival in the Premier League holds a whole different bag of emotions. Winning promotion on the last day of the season, the summer for Saints fans’ (including this writer) has been one of elation – a return to the top tier after a seven-year absence populated by administration, an ensuing plunge down the leagues, followed by a remarkably speedy ascension (15 months ago, Southampton were League One-ers). Yet as opening weekend looms, that jubilation gives way to anxiety, followed by nerves and, lastly, a little panic. Being drawn away against the reigning champions on the first day is not so much a litmus test of where the Saints stand compared to the Premier League’s competition, but rather a baptism by fire as they strive to keep up against the world’s richest club. While there are those glued to see how the City/ Utd rivalry will play out, whether Wenger will spend any real money to restore the Gunners’ fortunes, whether Chelsea’s Champions League win will renew league gory, and how AVB gets on at White Hart Lane, there are just as many crossing their fingers for the new recruits. For Reading and West Ham, too, these feelings of uncertainty are shared – how will they all live up to the new tests that lie ahead? Were Southampton to pull off the highly improbable, yet equally possible, and topple City on the opening day, it would do two things – get their Premier League return off to a history-making start, and lay down the gauntlet for this season to be as great, if not greater, a spectacle as the last.
IS DRESSAGE REALLY A SPORT?
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Rugby League’s lighting up Wembley
2012 CARNEGIE CHALLENGE CUP FINAL
V TNT_1511_edit.indd 67
Saturday 25th August, Wembley Stadium. Tickets start at £21
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Field of dreams We look ahead to a season set to define the next decade WORDS OLI JONES
Right, now all that other ‘sport’ is nearly over, we can get back to the real deal: Premier League football. This summer’s transfer market has been quieter than a gnat’s fart so far, but things are sure to pick up as deadline day approaches. However, it seems unlikely that’ll we see the same kind of frenetic final day action of previous years. Most clubs have assembled the core of their team for the coming season, and with that in mind, we’ve decided to preview each team’s chances for the coming season.
Arsenal: Arsene Wenger’s attitude to Robert van Persie is something akin to a Texan’s to his shotgun ie you’ll have to pry him from his cold dead hands. Whether RVP leaves or not, only a fool would dismiss Arsenal. Expect a slow start, but with Lukas Podolski incoming, Theo Walcott, Keiran Gibbs, Jack Wilshere and Aaron Ramsay maturing and Alex Song and Thomas Vermaelen fit, they’ll return to the title race. Aston Villa: Paul Lambert taking the helm has cloaked a disappointing summer for Villa, who desperately needed transfers to strengthen. Lambert has inherited a team which, despite some young talent, has struggled to be anything more than an also-ran in recent years. They could well be surprise relegation candidates. Chelsea: A repeat of last season’s success would be nigh-on a miracle. With departed striker Didier Drogba’s long shadow hanging over the still-struggling Fernando Torres, Chelsea may struggle for goals at the start of the season. There’s no reason Lampard and Torres couldn’t forge a Gerrard-Torres-esque relationship. If not, they could be looking at fifth. Keeping Ramires and keeping him fit is key. Everton: David Moyes’ Manchester United management internship will undoubtedly continue with another season 68
of massive overachievement. Nika Jelavic looks like a striker with the whole package, and Marouane Fellaini is one of the league’s strongest midfielders, but Everton’s success is down the club’s core of consistent and hardworking players who work as a unit. As ever, they’ll be in the fight for Europe.
Fulham: Martin Jol has made some shrewd investments over the summer, assembling a powerful, experienced team sprinkled with enough dynamic players to make Fulham tough opposition. As long as Jol can hang on to Clint Dempsey and Brede Hangeland, expect Fulham to claim top four scalps and challenge for a European spot. Liverpool: Brendan Rogers will find a receptive audience for his methods at Liverpool, a team whose recent playing style belies its natural talent. Rogers may need time to achieve his vision, but Liverpool fans, whose patience with managers has surprised, might need another dose of it this season. However, given it, the rewards could be great. Manchester City: How Roberto Mancini marshalls his resources on so many fronts will decide City’s fate. Managing the egos of a team (and bench and reserve team) of superstars will be his biggest challenge. They’ve got the strength and depth, but have their stars got the togetherness? If so, 2012-13 could mark the start of a period of domination for Manchester’s blue half. Manchester United: An uninspiring pre-season has left fans of the Red Devils worried. The arrival of Shinji Kagawa has done little to sate the desires of United fans starved of big-name transfers. Alex Ferguson is confident, but his young guns need to come good. The gap between them and City might not appear vast, but they can’t afford to let it grow. That said, never underestimate United’s winning mentality.
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A bit too worthy? Brendan Rogers
Arsene Wenger: looks dead, knows football
He. Wore. Shin pads: Chelsea captain, John Terry
Norwich City: For all Grant Holt’s heroics and history with the club, the striker wants away. Holt’s transfer won’t be as catastrophic as some might think; Steve Morison and Anthony Wilkinson are both underrated strikers and could certainly up their tallies this season. The Canaries will be in the relegation mix, but should scrape through.
Sunderland: Top four aside, Sunderland have probably got the Premier League’s most effective manager in Martin O’Neil. O’Neil builds his teams on a solid back four, and he’s still two players shy of that. They finished strongly last season and often play above themselves. Midtable would be a successful season.
Queens Park Rangers: Last season’s escape artists face a mammoth challenge to survive. The ray of light comes in the shape of Mark Hughes. The problem is, though, he tends to be linked with almost every vacant manager’s job – whether he’s employed or not. Hughes has signed some quality with Park Ji Sung and Fabio, adding of steel and attacking danger.
Swansea City: The exit of Brendan Rogers from the Liberty Stadium was a massive blow for the Swans, and while the appointment of Michael Laudrup appears something of a gamble, it suggests a commendable commitment to building on the style of football that made them such a great addition to the Premier League last season. For the sake of football, we hope they stay up.
Reading: No one really missed Reading when they were relegated, but the team that finished top of the Championship will prove a tough for many this season. Centrebacks across the country will cower at the sight of the mountainous Pavel Pogrebnyak, who proved his Premier League mettle with Fulham in the second half of last season.
Southamptom: Ricky Lambert and Adam Lallana were bright lights in the Championship, and courted attention from the EPL’s biggest names. They play attractive football, but don’t expect the Saints to do a Swansea; instead expect some one-sided scorelines early on. Their fans should remember the words ‘parachute payments’ and repeat them like a mantra every time they see themselves in the bottom three. Stoke City: Stoke are the Frank Bruno of the Premier League, loveable and effective, but ultimately limited, and have been going backwards in recent seasons. If they can get Crouch firing, there’s no reason they couldn’t challenge for a top half finish. They could do with some creativity in midfield, but their back four are formidable.
Tottenham Hotspurs: AVB’s done well to repel advances for Luka Modric, and to tie Gareth Bale to White Hart Lane for the foreseeable future. Boas’s downfall at Chelsea came about because he couldn’t manage a team of big egos. Spurs’ squad is equally self-regarding. Most fans want to see Spurs kick on, but 2012-13 could well be a backward step if AVB can’t bring in a couple of players. West Bromwich Albion: The Baggies have managed to covertly assemble an extremely effective team. However, they’ll struggle to match their 10th place finish last season. Despite his experience with big four sides, West Brom’s new manager, Steve Clark, is something of an unknown quantity. West Ham: Their brand of tough, effective football, may secure some early wins, but look for them to falter in the new year, as teams begin to work them out. West Ham’s results against the bottom half of the table will define their season. Only the most creative thinkers could see them doing anything other than returning to the relegation ruckus. TNTMAGAZINE.COM
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Monty the shire starts his summer holiday with a well-earned pint. The Wadworth Brewery in Wiltshire employs horses to deliver ales to local pubs for 50 weeks out of each year, but gives them time off in August. Like all good working folk, the horses clock off and go out drinking.
Photos: Getty, Phoebe Smith, Les 2 Alpes
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Be brave and camp without canvas for cover this summer. Our outdoors expert shows you how to go tent-free in the UK.
With morning skiing, afternoon mountain biking and a host of other action, Les 2 Alpes is an active travellerâ€™s paradise.
We pit Old Dubai against New Dubai to discover a desert getaway offering everything from Bedouin traditions to drinks with TOWIE. TNTMAGAZINE.COM
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TRAVELDIARY Laura Chubb
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Regiments march in rehearsal
ACTING TRAVEL EDITOR
THE LONG WALK Ever sprung energetically from the taxi as you arrive at departures, brimming over with unbridled I’m-going-onholiday joy, only to collapse, destroyed, after the hike from check-in to gate?
ROYAL EDINBURGH MILITARY TATTOO Edinburgh, Scotland Boasting a line-up of nearly 1000 performers from the British Armed Forces, Commonwealth and international military bands, this 25 extravaganza, live on the esplanade of Edinburgh’s scene-stealing castle, attracts more than 200,000 spectators every year. The festival’s grand finale brings together all of the regiments for an explosive close. UNTIL AUG
WHY: The word ‘tattoo’ derives from the phrase “doe den tap toe”, a Dutch term for “last orders” adopted by the British Army’s Corps of Pipes and Drums to signal when tavern owners should turn off the taps to their beer kegs, so soldiers would go to bed at a reasonable hour.
DO IT BECAUSE: The event has grown from an eight-item programme in 1950 to the sellout monster it is today, taking in regiments from Oman to Brazil. Elaborate pyrotechnics and lighting lend bags of atmosphere to the stirring perfomances. Don’t miss it.
BOG SNORKELLING CHAMPIONSHIP
QIXI SEVEN SISTERS FESTIVAL
A Welsh bog doesn’t strike us as an idyllic snorkelling 26 destination, but it challenges snorkellers spoiled by clear waters to test their skills. Conventional strokes are not allowed during the two lengths of a 55m trench, with only flippers and a snorkel to aid the swimmers. The event always draws a huge crowd and is for a good cause.
Qixi is the Chinese equivalent of Valentine’s Day, but with a 23 ‘traditional’ twist. Single girls demonstrate domestic tasks to impress potential lovers, including embroidery and melon carving – the makings of a good wife, we’re sure.
Llanwrtyd Wells, Powys, Wales AUG
AIR GUITAR WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS Oulu, Finland AUG
Hairy bare-chested types compete to be the best at pretend fret-wanking.
Wan Chai, Hong Kong AUG
STUTTGART WINE VILLAGE Stuttgart, Germany
To honour Swabian (that’s southwestern Germany to 29 you and me) tradition, cosy alcoves, decorated in the local style, invite you to settle in and drink the region’s wine. We’re sold. AUG
A study has revealed the airports that make passengers walk the furthest to catch a ride out of town, with England’s very own Gatwick clocking up more than a mile between the entrance to its North Terminal and the departure gates. The figures probably come as no surprise to regular travellers who have worked up various panicky sweats trying to hot-foot it to Gate 4345A, finding themselves on a Steve Martin-esque odyssey by elevator, shuttle bus, monorail and donkey before locating their allotted titanium craft. If this is a joke on the part of airport planners, well, I guess you have to get your kicks somewhere. But what really ticks me off is the vast distances passengers are expected to traverse when transferring between planes – often a marathon task that the tit selling you the tickets didn’t consider in their calculations. On what was meant to be a swift transfer through Beijing recently, I was expected to take a shuttle bus to the terminal, queue through immigration, catch a train to the next terminal and labour through interminable security checks within an hour of my first plane hitting the tarmac. Then it took half an hour for the stairs to arrive that would allow me to get off and commence this Olympic challenge. I wound up stranded for 24 hours in a godforsaken ‘hotel’ with at least 20 other disgruntled tourists who had also missed their connections. Funnily enough, Beijing topped the chart, clocking up two miles between Terminal 3 and the furthest boarding gate.
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QANTAS PILOT ‘PISSED’
BRIT FOOD SUCKS: FACT
NO GO SOLO IN NEPAL
Qantas Airways has opened an investigation after a female pilot failed an alcohol test minutes before take-off. The allegedly tipsy captain was suspended following the incident. Crew reportedly raised the alarm after noticing the pilot seemed to be under the influence, and she was relieved of her duties just as the plane began to taxi towards the runway. The Boeing 767-300 was headed for Brisbane from Sydney. A spokesman for Australia’s Civil Aviation Safety Authority confirmed: “Qantas [told] us that it was a positive test.” The pilot will remain on suspension until the investigation concludes.
British cuisine has been voted the worst in the world by holidaymakers in Australia, the US and Norway. And we can assume that other foreign visitors are similarly unimpressed after the UK failed to make a list of top 10 foodie destinations in the international poll. Of the 27,000 people questioned, 32 per cent said Italy’s food was best, with France close behind on 24 per cent. Other countries in the culinary top 10 included China, India and Thailand. Even the Brits questioned shunned their homeland’s fare, with 60 per cent admitting French food was their fave. What, not bowled over by pork scratchings?
Solo trekking in Nepal has been banned after a series of assaults on travellers. Government officials have announced that tourists keen on trekking in the Nepalese Himalayas must be accompanied by at least one governmentregistered porter or guide as of next month. The move comes after 23-year-old Belgian Debbie Maveau was found decapitated on June 14 near a hiking trail in Langtang National Park. A number of assaults and disappearances concerning foreign travellers have been recorded in the region in recent years, including American Aubrey Sacco, missing since 2010.
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FINAL 1511 TRAV News.indd Sec1:73
No hassle with the howff: find natural shelter
Tent-free camping UNITED KINGDOM
Clockwise from above: join fellow hikers in a bothy; make a cave a home; build your own shelter; inside a cave camp; Snowdonia is a good spot to go sans tent
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Past tents Be brave and camp without canvas for cover this summer. Our outdoors expert shows you how WORDS PHOEBE SMITH
Granted, tent-free camping in the UK sounds insane. But once you’re lying in a cave that nature has so handily prepared for you, or are staring up at the night sky from a makeshift shelter with the stars above like an elaborate diamond canopy, it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. Here are our favourite ways to camp without canvas. Cave camping Picture this: the wind is blowing hard enough to knock you off your feet – most tent campers would be struggling to keep their canvas shelter from blowing away – but not you. Instead, you’re nestled safe and sound within the stone walls of your overnight shelter. Let the storm tear a hole in the tents outside – it can’t bother you. HOW TO DO IT: There’s a host of caves high in the mountains of the Lake District and Wales’ Snowdonia all perfect for an overnight doss. If you get yourself an OS Map of the area you’re visiting, you’ll see that some are even marked on there. Once you’ve found a likely spot, give it a search online to see if others have reported on its current state. Then, once you arrive, visit it in the daylight first, so you can ensure it’s structurally sound and big enough to lie down in. COMFORT? 3/5. Often a damp option, so a waterproof liner to put around your sleeping bag is recommended.
Photos: TNT; Phoebe Smith; Thinkstock
Hunt for a howff Nothing at all to do with Baywatch, a howff is the old Scottish name for a natural shelter found in the landscape. It will shield you from the elements: be it a crack in the rocks, a piling of stones that form a spot large enough for you to sleep under or simply a rocky overhang. HOW TO DO IT: Keep your eyes open for stable boulders with large overhangs and test them out by lying down in them to assess their suitability. They need to offer a flat platform, as well as adequate shelter from rain. COMFORT? 2/5. All depends how good a one you can find. By nature, they are usually not the most comfy or sheltered – but certainly fun to look for. Restore a bothy If the idea of surviving the elements doesn’t appeal, a bothy most definitely will. These old, disused farm buildings are
lovingly maintained by a network of volunteers and charity donations so that walkers in remote parts of the UK – mainly the Scottish Highlands – can seek refuge in the wild. At worst, they offer four walls and a roof with a handily placed shovel to ‘take care of business’; at best, sleeping platforms, wood-burning stoves and even fully functional toilets. HOW TO DO IT: A great introduction to bothying is to take part in one of the Mountain Bothy Association’s volunteer weekends where you get to stay in these huts for free, make friends and swap stories around bottles of whisky (bothy tradition) while helping do vital maintenance work. For more information on the weekends, see mountainbothies.org.uk. COMFORT? 4/5. Depends on the bothy, but with the sense of camaraderie and four walls around you, it’s a great choice. Build your own shelter Why faff around looking for any of the above when you can, quite simply, make your own accommodation – all it takes is a willingness to put in the work. Better yet, you’re free to determine the size and scale of your own creation. HOW TO DO IT: For ease of finding materials, woodland is best. You will need the landowner’s permission before you do this in England and Wales, so Scotland – where wild camping is legal – is the easier option. A simple shelter can be constructed between two trees. Make sure there are no loose branches above that will fall on you, then begin by securing a strong branch between two trunks – it should be strong enough to hold your weight. Use long, thin sticks and place them vertically against this crossbar so that you have one side enclosed – this is what you’ll sleep under. Layer it up by weaving leaves through these sticks, then cover with loose leaves for extra insulation. COMFORT? 5/5. A shelter is only as good as its creator, but the satisfaction gained from building it makes this the winner. ❚
Phoebe Smith is the author of The Camper’s Friend, published by Summersdale. Available now from all good book stores and online.
Paramotoring: Flying high with fan power in Kent
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> £500 AFRICA A 16-day Gorillas, Chimps & Game Parks tour is £630pp with Intrepid Travel (0844 4998487; intrepidtravel.com). Visiting Kenya, Uganda, Rwanda. Excludes trip kitty of US$1230 and flights. Book by September 8; departs September 15. EGYPT & JORDAN A 16-day tour is now £587pp (save 30 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Visiting Cairo, Giza, Wadi Rum, Petra, Dead Sea and more. Includes accommodation, some meals, Nile cruise, guide and more. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by August 31; departs September 8. VIETNAM A 10-day tour is £824pp (save 15 per cent) with On The Go Tours (onthegotours.com; 020 73711113). Visiting Hanoi, Halong Bay, HCMC and more. Includes four-star accommodation, junk boat trip, guides and more. Excludes international flights. Departs September 15.
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MILAN Three nights in Milan is £191pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes four-star, B&B accommodation at the Radisson Blu, and flights from London Gatwick. Departs September 23. VENICE Three nights in Venice is £189pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk). Includes three-star, B&B accommodation at the Piave Hotel and flights from London Gatwick. Departs September 23. BULGARIA Seven nights in Bulgaria is £189pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes four-star, halfboard accommodation at the Aktinia Hotel in Sunny Beach, and flights from London Luton. Departs September 26. ITALY A three-day trip in and out of Rome is £105pp (was £209pp) with Busabout (08450 267576; busabout.com). Visiting Pompeii, Sorrento, Capri and the Amalfi Coast. Includes guide, local driver, two nights’ twin share accommodation, limoncello and chocolate tasting, and more. Excludes flights. Departs August 31. ROME Three nights in Rome is £199pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk). Includes three-star, B&B accommodation at the Marc Aurelio Hotel and flights from London Gatwick. Departs September 30.
£250 – £500
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RUTH ROXANNE BOARD
Talks travel photography
SUNRISE OVER THE SERENGETI Dana Duxfield, New Zealand
WHY IT WORKS As the sun rises over the Serengeti, the sky is awash with indigo, violet and dusky pinks. It peers from behind the upper branches of the trees, generating a dramatic silhouette. Nearly all the key features are in the bottom third of the picture, but the composition still looks balanced, due to the delicate wisps of cloud hanging high in the atmosphere above.
RUNNER-UP STAINED GLASS Hamish McMillan, New Zealand
WHY IT WORKS The sun beams through the Gothicstyle windows of Barcelona’s Sagrada Familia, spilling orange light across the frame. Motion blur and the presence of a few purple spots bestows a psychedelic feel not usually associated with the Catholic Church. Maybe a happy accident, that moment of movement has transposed into an impressive riot of colour.
HOT TIPS: sunrise/ sunset Sunrises and sunsets can be seen as the quintessential shot, the one that everyone will try to capture during their travels. For great sunrise and sunset shots it’s crucial to pick out a good spot and give yourself about 30 minutes to prepare. Different types of weather will affect the sun’s light and the patterns it creates. The humble cloud and event dust and smoke can all
affect the outcome, tainting the sun’s rays with their own properties. Silhouettes can help create a focal point in the foreground and add context to your scene (see the tree in the winner’s image above). It’s also important to remember the rule of thirds when composing your shot. You want your horizon and sun to sit just off centre to keep the shot balanced.
A THREE DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE
Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).
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IBIZA ROCKS, IBIZA
The hive of activity that thumps and pounds all summer long on this Spanish party island shudders to a halt in September. Basking in its reputation as Europe’s clubbing capital, Ibiza’s end-of-season parties are plentiful, with the superclubs pulling out all the stops to bring the music to a hangover-inducing crescendo. The obvious places to mark this occasion are Space, Pacha and Privilege, but pulsating away in the background is Ibiza Rocks, celebrating its seventh year of non-stop partying on the White Isle with a momentous line-up. With the likes of Professor Green, Plan B, Chase & Status, Tinie Tempah and Katy B taking to the outdoor stage throughout the summer, and New Order playing their first Ibiza gig on September 12, you really are spoilt for choice. And there are two closing parties from which to choose – Two Door Cinema Club on Sept 19 and Mark Ronson & Zane Lowe on Sept 21. But after witnessing the duo in Ibiza earlier in the summer, it’s the latter 78 00
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we’re putting forward for the number one slot. Catching these two musical masterminds at work is a sight to behold, as they spin, scratch, sample and splice riffs that whip the up-for-it crowd into a frenzy. Ronson and Lowe go to war, sideby-side, track-by-track, for a relentless mix of everything and anything from Adele’s Rolling In The Deep to Jay-Z’s 99 Problems, from old-school hip hop to chart-toppers. It all comes together into one beautifully choreographed threehour, not-to-be-forgotten set. And the clever people at Ibiza Rocks, which is based in grubby Sant Antoni, know that this gig, finishing at about 11pm, will whet your appetite, leaving you wanting more. So there are shuttle buses laid on for the hour’s drive across the Balearic island to Playa den Bossa where you can dance until the silly hours at Space (where a coke will set you back about £10), and hang on to summer for just a little bit longer. Book hotel and ticket packages with lowcostholidays.com ibizarocks.com
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BURNING MAN, NEVADA
OUTLOOK FEST, CROATIA
Classy The organisers of this out-of-theordinary event clearly didn’t get the ‘how to hold a typical festival’ memo. Applying a more ‘off the wall’ approach instead, tens of thousands of people gather in the Black Rock Desert in the US’s northern Nevada for this week-long event (Aug 27-Sept 3 this year). Why? To create Black Rock City, of course – a community built on art and self-expression, with a healthy dollop of nudity. burningman.com
SUN & BASS, SARDINIA
This self-explanatory festival – expect sun and bass – is one for the bucket list and always draws an Aussie crowd. It’s set in one of Sardinia’s best-kept secrets, the beautiful fishing village of San Teodoro. However, between Sept 1-9, this incredible location will be taken over for a week by a party crowd looking to have a good time. Expect world-renowned drum ‘n’ bass DJs on the decks, entertaining in clubs and bars around town, and on the jaw-droppingly impressive beaches. sunandbass.net
If you like your bass loud and heavy with the added bonus of being set in a stunning location, this summer sendoff will be right up your street. Taking place on the secluded 19thcentury Fort Punta Christo, in Pula, Croatia, from Aug 30-Sept 3, the best in hip hop, drum ‘n’ bass and dancefloor soul will be on offer. Add to the equation white, cake-mix soft beaches and drink-fuelled party boats and you won’t want it to end. outlookfestival.com
Refusing to let what little summer we’ve had die, this Brighton-based gig isn’t until October 6 – and if the weather so far is anything to go by, expect it to be a bit of a wash-out. But with a line-up including Dizzee Rascal, Prof Green, Knife Party and Hed Kandi hosting the VIP area, it’s one worth getting the waterproofs out and hanging on for. Set in the lush surroundings of Stanmer Park, there’s even nearby camping options for the very brave.
THE VARSITY OVERVIEW Steeped in history and set on the banks of the River Cam, this boutique hotel combines old and new, with a fancy, award-winning design. It’s smack-bang in the centre of Cambridge, which means everything you need to see is just a short stumble away. It’s classy, so expect the price tag to match. And there is a spa next door, where guests can use the facilities free of charge, if they’re staying at the hotel. WOW FACTOR The seventhfloor roof terrace. There’s a small glass wall aligning the edge, affording drinkers stunning views of the river to Magdalene College and everything else in between. Make sure you don’t have one too many, though. ROOMS The king boudoir is a little disappointing. It’s no bigger than a standard room in a Travelodge. If you can afford it, the penthouses boast glass walls overlooking all the major sights. BILL PLEASE King room with breakfast and use of the spa facilities is £200pn (standard doubles £179pn).
Thompson’s Lane (off Bridge Street), Cambridge, CB5 8AQ thevarsityhotel.co.uk
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Shanghai’s lantern festival at New Year is spectacular
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If your tip is printed, you’ll win vouchers (worth up to £60) for entry for two into one of No.1 Traveller’s airport lounges at Heathrow, Gatwick or Stansted. With complimentary food and drinks, free Wi-Fi and newspapers and magazines, your trip will get off to a flying start. See No1Traveller.com Tweet your tip to @tntmagazine.com Email firstname.lastname@example.org Text TNT and your message to 81707* *Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate. 18+ billpayers only. Send STOP to end. Number may show on bill. A2B 08700460138
YOU ASKED FOR IT... LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET
travelling to the Republic of Q I’m Georgia for seven days in the last week
thinking of visiting China over Q I’m the Chinese New Year. I’ve not been before and would like to take part in the celebrations. Do you have any tips for the trip? Barbara, via email
won’t be unbearably cold in A Georgia November, but it will be chilly with temperatures between 5-14°C. Tbilisi itself has lots to offer; the old town is a charming collection of leaning houses and stone churches, juxtaposed against the ultra-modern Presidential Palace and Peace Bridge crossing the Mtkvari River. There’s plenty to keep you occupied, particularly if you arrive during Giorgoba (the St George’s Day celebration on November 23), which creates widespread jubilations across the city. Outside of Tbilisi, Davit Gareja, to the south, is worth visiting for its collection of monasteries in a unique, barren landscape. You can visit the site during a day trip from Tbilisi. Take a marshrutka (minibus) to Sagarejo and an onward taxi from there. This should cost you half the price of a taxi all the way from Tbilisi. Next up, travel four hours by bus southwest to Akhaltsikhe. The city is a good base from which to explore Vardzia, a medieval city carved out of a cliff, which is accessible by marshrutka (1.5 hours each way). I would advise against travelling to Vladikavkaz as the region you would need to travel through, South Ossetia, is suffering from political unrest and should be avoided.
take place during the 15 days following it. This is an incredible time to visit China; the atmosphere is spectacular and you can expect to see lots of celebrations and fireworks. The lantern festival on the 15th day of the Chinese New Year is one of the most vibrant events. People illuminate thousands of paper lanterns, hanging them from buildings and carrying them in the streets, making quite a spectacle. As travel is more difficult than usual at this time, I would recommend choosing one of the major cities where there are a number of events and staying there for the duration of the celebrations. Shanghai is a great option as it has one of the most impressive lantern festivals, and there is also an elaborate firework display at midnight on the eve of Chinese New Year and again on the fifth day of New Year. Hong Kong is another good choice as it holds a parade on the first day of Chinese New Year, fireworks on the second and horse racing on the third. Bear in mind that this is the busiest time to visit China. Think of travel at this time as you would at Christmas in the UK. Be sure to book as much in advance as possible – this includes accommodation and restaurants.
New Year will fall on February 10, A Chinese 2013, but a host of traditions and feasts
ON THE CHEAP Buy the book The Entertainer – you can get it online. It has coupons for discounts in Dubai including 2-for-1 on food, trips and attractions such as the water parks. You will never use them all as the book is gigantic, but you will save hundreds of quid. Clint Heine, via Facebook INDIE EATS Shun the hotel restaurants and head for an independent eatery. With photos and memorabilia covering the walls, plus mismatched lanterns providing minimal lighting, Smiling BKK does cheap, cheekily named Thai dishes (‘six inches of glory’, anyone?). Or, if you want fresh, no-frills fish, head to the Bu Qtair Cafeteria and gobble up their catch of the day as the sun sets. Ele Cooper, via Facebook
A LONELY PLANET GUIDE
Lonely Planet’s Laura Lindsay will give you the benefit of her infinite wisdom if you email a question to email@example.com. If your question is answered, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice. This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.
of November. It’ll be my first time in the country – is it too cold during that period? Is it worth travelling outside Tbilisi? And is it worth visiting Vladikavkaz in Russia while I’m in the region? Pedro, via email
READERS’ TIPS ON ... DUBAI
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WHERE IN THE WORLD?
A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE
Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.
YAZD, IRAN Maria Dziewior, from Poland
BEST / WORST TRIP
PAWEL GULANOWSKI, 24
GRETE KILIULYTE, 23
BEST I’ve just been to Barcelona for a weekend getaway. I’ve been a lot of other places, so I’ve plenty to compare it to. It offers the best time for the best price!
Most memorable travel experience? When I went to Canada with my parents, we all had visas to America and Canada, but my dad had a green card. He went to the embassy before leaving to ask if he needed to get an extra visa. And they said it was all fine. But he was stopped at the airport in Detroit and couldn’t come with us, because the embassy messed up. Top travel tip? Travel on a budget, because you get to know local people a lot better.
WORST Travelling by train in Poland, where I come from. If you take the train in Poland, travelling 600km takes you about 12 hours. Not fun!
» Tell us your best/worst trips, email firstname.lastname@example.org
Photos: TNT, Getty
FALKLANDS & ANTARCTICA Supersize an Antarctica cruise and take in the Falklands and South Georgia, too, with this new ‘Explorers & Kings’ trip. A 19-day trip from £6050pp with Quark Expeditions (001 203 8032666; quarkexpeditions.com), based on triple occupancy, and if booked before September 30, 2012. Departs November 1, 2013.
NEILL WALKER General Manager Stoke Rochford Hall Hotel
My first ever big trip was back in 1979 to a little known island called Ibiza. As a young man at the time, this was a big thing. No one I knew had ever been on a plane – most took their holidays to Cornwall and Devon – and back then smoking was permitted on board. My most challenging travel experience was when I was in the army and we flew to Washington State, fully kitted, for a military exercise. We landed, jumped into a helicopter, got dropped off on a live firing range for three days, then flew straight back to the UK. My favourite place in the world is the beautiful town of Cognac, France. I defy anyone to not fall in love with it. My guilty travel pleasure is a little bit lame, but I do enjoy a gin and tonic and a packet of salted Pringles on the plane. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is – at 30,000ft the taste is just amazing. TNTMAGAZINE.COM
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Mountain [Caption] biking: the quicker you go, the safer it is
Les 2 Alpes FRANCE
Lyon Les 2 Alpes
GETTING THERE Fly from London Gatwick to Lyon with easyJet for about ÂŁ60 return. From Lyon, it is a 160km drive to Les 2 Alpes. easyjet.com
[Caption] Les 2 Alpes has 100 hectares of runs 84
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Alpine attitude With morning skiing, afternoon mountain biking and a host of other action, Les 2 Alpes is an active traveller’s paradise WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY
I’m halfway down the trail when I’m reminded of the unforgiving nature of mountain biking, the rider in front of me taking a tumble, the noise of his brakes and almighty skid followed by a dull thud and then a pained groaning. When I wondered just how tough this sport could be, I never expected an answer so brutal. “Hard luck,” I offer as I help him to his feet. “It’s alright,” he replies. “Just a bruised ego.” Earlier, on the half-an-hour cable car journey to the 3200m top of Les 2 Alpes, I watch a team of riders snake down the mountain, blazing along the trails that separate the resort’s alpine meadows. From the safety of the gondola and through the warm glow brought about by my ever-improving skiing abilities, I wager that I’ll be able to do it, no sweat. My confidence is further buoyed after watching the Crankworx Freeride Mountain Bike Festival, held in the resort each July. Sure, there’s no way I’ll be performing the flips, the supermans, the revolutions that the professional riders are managing, but surely I’ll be able to shoot round those corners with a little of the smooth ease these guys are employing. Surely. If there is any place to come to grips with the sport, Les 2 Alpes is it. A two-hour drive from Lyon, the 50-year-old resort prides itself on being Europe’s largest skiable glacier and remains one of the few spots where you can ski in summer. And when the slopes close at 1pm, there’s 40 other activities to get involved in, from parapenting and bungee jumps, to white-water rafting and 12,000m of mountain biking slopes. For the active traveller, it’s the stuff of dreams. However, my own dreams of mountain biking turn out to be far from the reality of my skill. My experience is minimal; my proficiency non-existent. It all becomes horrifyingly apparent the next day, 2100m high at the top of Le Vallée Blanche, on the opposite side of the resort from the glacier. My companion on the lift, Rupert, a longtime mountain biking exponent, soon remembers he has to be somewhere and races off down a trail, stirring up a tail of dust as he gathers speed, seemingly surfing the rugged track. “We’ll do something a little easier,” my instructor Benj grins. “We’ll start green.” A wide-open trail beckons, a slight decline and a pair of crossing marmots my only challenge as I apply the superreponsive brakes a little too cautiously, juddering to a halt at the slightest bend. A stop at a skills station sorts me out
and I quickly learn to turn at (a kind of) speed along a series of ramps and bumps, before haring back off down the mountain, this time on a far more narrow path, cutting a swathe through knee-high grass. I’m feeling it now. Benj isn’t impressed, though. “Use more attitude,” he demands. “I want to see it in your riding. Don’t hesitate.” I make it to the bottom, incident free, discovering the perversity that the faster a rider travels, the safer mountain biking actually is. “Good attitude,” Benj nods.
Riders blaze along the 12,000m of trails
The next day, I’m back on the ski slopes of this summer playground, wobbling down the gentler of Les 2 Alpes’ 100 hectares of runs. Away from the bustle of London, among the tranquility of being so high up, I relax, the fact that I’ve escaped injury on the mountain biking trail filling ››
An alpine playground TNTMAGAZINE.COM
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me with a fresh sense of courage on the slopes. The fog of previous days is burnt off, the sun forcing itself through the clouds to reveal a white wonderland of skiers zig-zagging and snowboarders showing off in the two half-pipes of the resort’s snow park. Although I’m definitely improving, my at times out-ofcontrol style indicates to all I’m still some way off joining the ranks of the intermediate riders. My muscle memory is a welcome friend, however; it’s a year since I’ve been on the snow, but my instinct works well. My guide, Andrea, a small man with a relaxed Italian air, is impressed. So am I. Until I get greedy with my speed and end up in rocks alongside the run, a sorry tangle of skis and poles. “Hard luck,” Andrea says. “Are you alright?” “It's nothing,” I reply, remembering the bravery of the mountainbiker I helped yesterday. “Just a bruised ego.” Andrea laughs. “That's the spirit we like in Les 2 Alpes,” he says. “It’s all about attitude.” ❚ Jahn Vannisselroy was hosted by Les 2 Alpes. Lift passes (mountain bike plus skiing) from £18 a day. les2alpes.com More on the Freeride Mountain Bike Festival at crankworx.com
Wide slopes are great for beginners
NEXT WEEK All-action Austria: Climbing, rafting and schnapps
Replenish your energy levels at Le Creperie du Centre. Open from 9am to 10pm, this cool little spot serves up pizza, roast chickens, home-made ready meals, a host of sandwiches, crêpes, waffles and ice cream. Mains from £7.50. (67 Avenue de la Muzelle)
Le Cellier is spot-on for winding down after a hard day on the slopes. The establishment has a cosy atmosphere, made even warmer by a large open fire on which a large choice of meats are grilled. Mains from £13. (3 Place de l’Alpe de Venosc)
Treat yourself at the Raisin d’Ours. Indulge in top food, all beautifully presented. Even the chef eats here – what better recommendation do you require? From the venison to the salmon, whatever you choose will be quality. Set menu from £25. (98 Avenue de la Muzelle)
Smithy’s is where everybody goes to party. The bar throws up an amazing mix of wild parties, rocking band nights and live DJs. The up-for-it crowd gets loose here, so expect a big night, full of fun and plenty of drinking. Get involved. Pints from £4. smithystavern.com
The Polar Bear Pub offers beer, Guinness and cocktails and has an inside hanging fire (to defrost your gear) and outside chimneys to keep you warm into the night. There’s regular live music, big games on screen and DJs. Pints from £4.50. thepolarbearpub.com
Chalet Mounier‘s bar has an open log fire to sit in front of, warming you as you recount your stories of the day. Choose from an extensive drinks list as you recline among the leather and wood furnishings. The hotel’s restaurant serves up gourmet food to soak up the booze. Pints from £5. chalet-mounier.com
The lively Hostel Les Deux Alpes is 200m (five mins) from the slopes, in the heart of the resort. A splendid south-oriented sundeck lets you enjoy the sun if you just want to chill out in this small, sociable slice of ski holiday heaven. From £17pppn. hihostels.com
Three-star Le Souleil’Or has a large outdoor pool and a terrace. Most of the 42 bedrooms have a balcony to make the most of that fresh alpine air. From £71pppn. le-souleil-or.fr
Four-star Chalet Mounier is Les 2 Alpes’ most upmarket hotel and has a spectacular garden with a large outdoor swimming pool. There’s a spa, sauna, steamroom and massage area downstairs. From £102pppn. chalet-mounier.com
Photos: TNT, Thinkstock
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A hit of craic This is Galway City in 48 hours WORDS LAURA CHUBB
DAY 1: 10:00 Often referred to as ‘Ireland’s cultural heart’, Galway might not be the Republic’s biggest city, but its streets are arguably the country’s most atmospheric, pulsing with traditional pipers, fiddlers and street performers. Start your day at Eyre Square, Galway’s busy main public space, to get a feel for the city’s energy. 11:00 An interesting approach to bringing historical and contemporary Galway together can be puzzled over at the neighbouring Eyre Square Centre shopping mall, parts of which have been built over the city’s medieval walls. Checking out the ancient stonework underneath a glass atrium, surrounded by high street stores, is nothing short of odd. 12:00 Now make your way to the Spanish Arch (corner of Long Walk), one of Galway’s most famous landmarks, on the bank of the river Corrib. The 16th-century bastion’s original function was to protect merchant ships from looting; the name ‘Spanish Arch’ refers to frequent merchant trade with Spain at that time, as Spanish galleons would often dock here. 12:30 A short walk from the arch, back in the direction of Eyre Square, is Lynch’s Castle (corner of Shop and Upper Abbeygate streets). Built in the 14th century, it is considered the best example of a town castle in Ireland, though this kudos is a little muted by the fact that the building now houses a bank. Still, the interior remains impressive, with coats of arms and stone fireplaces left intact, while the façade continues to boast the odd gargoyle. 13:00 Time to seek out what Galway does best – pubs. Monroe’s Tavern (monroes.ie) is a local favourite, serving up top nosh from 9.30am-9.30pm. Try the open Irish 88
crabmeat sandwich on soda bread (£8.25) – Galway is known for its superior seafood, which is why it hosts the Galway International Oyster & Seafood Festival every year. Catch this year’s fishy festivities from September 28-30, including the World Oyster Opening Championship. 14:00 Walk off lunch with a stroll to Salmon Weir Bridge (St Vincent’s Avenue). Upstream, the Corrib cascades down the weir towards Galway Bay, while in summer, you can often see shoals of salmon fighting up to the Corrib for spawning. 15:00 Now cross the bridge to the other side of the Corrib, where you’ll find Galway Cathedral (galwaycathedral.ie). It’s an imposing sight on the river, one of Galway’s largest buildings, with its Renaissance dome a major feature of the city skyline. Admission is by donation. 16:00 Time to soak up some more of that atmosphere we were telling you about. Tig Cóilí (Mainguard Street) is a great little boozer with live traditional Irish music blasting out as a matter of course. Make sure you sink a few pints of Galway Hooker Ale, an Irish pale ale produced by the local craft brewery. 19:00 Great steaks and seafood at McSwiggans (mcswiggans.com; mains from £12) make this restaurant/ pub/ café/ bar a good bet for dinner. The bar stays open until 1am, but Galway really comes into its own at night, so we recommend you don’t get too cosy. 21:30 A pub crawl will help you see the best of Galway after dark. Go to The Crane Bar (cranebar.com) for folk music and dancing; the King’s Head (thekingshead.ie) for big crowds and live rock; and Róisín Dubh (roisindubh.net) for its
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Photos: Failte Ireland, Joe O Shaughnessy, Thinkstock, Hany Marzouk
rooftop terrace. Around a quarter of the city’s population is made up of students, so you can’t really go wrong when it comes to a night on the tiles. DAY 2: 12:00 Drink lots of caffeine with your free continental breakfast at the Galway City Hostel (galwaycityhostel.com; beds from £12pn), then head over to Salthill Prom. This seaside promenade, which runs from the edge of Galway City to the suburb of Salthill and is the longest in Ireland, is always buzzing. Take a stroll and gawp open-mouthed as brave/ crazy types jump from the concrete high diving board on the promenade into the chilly Atlantic. Then settle on one of the sandy beaches along the prom and let the lapping waves soothe away your hangover. 16:00 After a lazy day, get back in the saddle and sink a Guinness or two in Cooke’s Thatch Bar (2 Newcastle Road). This cosy little thatched-roof affair is renowned for the quality of its black stuff. Stomach settled? Treat yourself to a fish supper at McDonagh’s (22 Quay Street), served up at communal wooden benches for about £6. 19:00 If you fancy a break from the booze, try the Druid Theatre (druidtheatre.com), which puts on new and classic Irish plays in what was once an old tea warehouse. Still pumped to party? Bierhaus (2 Henry Street) boasts a massive selection of brews and live DJ sets. Pity your liver. Flights from London to Dublin start at about £53 return with Ryanair ryanair.com The train from Dublin to Galway takes three hours. Tickets start from £25 return irishrail.ie
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GETTING THERE Return direct flights from London Heathrow to Dubai start at about ÂŁ360 with Royal Brunei. bruneiair.com
UNITED ARAB EMIRATES SAUDI ARABIA
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Bedouins and bling We pit Old Dubai against New Dubai to discover a desert getaway offering everything from ancient free diving to drinks with TOWIE WORDS DAISY CARRINGTON
Dubai is better known for its excesses than its history. As well as boasting the world’s tallest building, largest mall and biggest fountain, it is also the proud home of the world’s most expensive cocktail, the 27,321 (named for its price in UAE dirhams), which clocks in at roughly £4750 and is served in an 18-karat gold glass you get to keep. But perhaps most opulent are the ATMs at all the city’s major tourist sites that only dispense 24-karat gold (a nifty, if pricey, souvenir, no?). In a city so obsessed with the biggest and most expensive, it’s easy to forget that Dubai has a past, let alone one that’s worth exploring. Though the emirate’s heritage does, at times, seem to be at war with its aspirations, a well-planned travel itinerary should be able to take in both. Here’s how.
WHEN TO GO: In the summer months, Dubai heats up to the point that it defies credulity (think upwards of 45˚C). In winter, it can be a bit chilly for the beach. Autumn and spring are the best times to visit. CURRENCY: £1 = AED 5.73 ACCOMMODATION: The Dubai Youth Hostel (the only one of its kind in Dubai) is fairly removed from the centre, but the rooms are cheap, and there’s a pool and gym. From £17pn. uaeyha.com The Arabian Courtyard Hotel is more central, but you pay for the convenience. Rooms from £45pn. arabiancourtyard.com
BEST FOR: WATER BABIES New: Shark diving Usually, scuba divers hope to avoid sharks, or else only see them from the confines of a metal cage. At The Dubai Mall, daredevils can get up close, without a protective buffer. The 10-million-litre Dubai Aquarium houses 33,000 aquatic animals, including more than 400 sharks and rays. The aquarium hosts daily shark dives and provides all equipment. Granted, the experience can sometimes feel like being an exhibit in a zoo (the mall gets more than 750,000 visitors a week, and ogling madcap divers is half the fun), but it’s well worth it for the rare chance to swim with these magnificent predators of the ocean. Swimming with sharks isn’t the only wild way to get wet in Dubai. Underneath the majestic, sail-shaped, seven-star Burj Al Arab, a rugged group of enthusiasts are regularly found kite surfing – so popular is the pursuit, the stretch of sand is known to locals as ‘Kite Beach’. For those lacking the co-ordination to strap on a kite, Dubai’s surf makes it a prime spot for wakeboarding. thedubaiaquarium.com, dives from £100; dubaikitesurfschool.com, lessons from £43; markandrewkiteschool.com, wakeboarding from £44
Old: Pearl diving
Long before the invention of the scuba tank, Bedouins in Dubai were free-diving virtuosos. Most Emiratis can trace their lineage back to pearl diving; the first recorded reference to the Gulf trading in gems was made in 2000BC. The pastime involved donning long-sleeved, hooded suits to protect from stingrays, and plunging up to 40m to the floor of the Gulf. A diver would scoop up as many oysters as possible before running out of air, at which point, he’d tug on a rope, and a ‘helper’ on board a traditional dhow would reel him in. The industry dried up in the 1930s, when Japan started producing artificial pearls. But now the Emirates Marine Environmental Group (EMEG) is reviving the tradition for tourists. One of the initiative’s main instigators is Major Ali Saqar Al Suweidi, the president of EMEG and the son and grandson of pearl divers. “This is our culture and it’s something we’re very proud of. We wanted to show people how we used to live,” Al Suweidi says. Joining in one of EMEG’s pearl diving tours is certainly more unique than traditional scuba diving. Plus, divers get to keep anything they find. Al Suweidi says the last trip yielded eight pearls. Think of it as an underwater treasure hunt. jumeirah.com/pearl-diving; from £122
BEST ST FOFOR: AIRBORNE ANTICS New: iFly In Dubai, a mall has to have a gimmick. At Mirdiff City Centre, it’s iFly, an indoor skydiving centre. iFly has a 10mhigh wind tunnel with two high-powered fans that keep divers suspended 3m in the air. Warning: the practice will make your face look like a melting waxwork. Of course, iFly is a kiddie park compared to the real thing. Skydive Dubai is owned by the Dubai’s Crown Prince, who himself is an avid skydiver. Skydiving newbies are strapped to an able expert, so you can concentrate on the surreal view of the manmade Palm Island and (as yet incomplete) World islands. ›› theplaymania.com, from £34; skydivedubai.ae, from £305 TNTMAGAZINE.COM
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Clockwise from here: dive with sharks in an aquarium; holding the hunter; rare Emirati fare at the Sheikh Mohammed Centre Old: Falconing Skydiving isn’t the UAE’s only airborne tradition. For centuries, Emiratis have been sending highly trained birds of prey to scour the sky for fresh meat. Falconing is one of the earliest forms of hunting; pre-dating guns, the birds would attack, but not kill, their prey – a distinction that is especially important today, as meat isn’t considered halal if not properly slaughtered. The birds are highly prized in the local culture, and some fetch upwards of £25,000. Falconing was inaccessible to travellers until last year, when Royal Shaheen Event paired with the Banyan Tree Wadi Hotel to offer the only open falconry courses in the region. Handling a hungry falcon (and they’re kept hungry, to keep them tame) is no joke. In 2003, a falcon belonging to Dubai’s ruler, Sheikh Mohamed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, took down a desert gazelle. The birds are independent and fierce, and on Royal Shaheen’s two-day course, you not only handle one, but act as its sole source of food. Imagine throwing a large bird in the air, then having it soar back towards you, talons at the ready, to pluck a piece of raw meat from your gloved hand. Terrifying, but thrilling.
unlimited free cocktails from 9pm, and can get the party started even earlier at Embassy, where they get four free cocktails from 7pm. The crowd is a little more WAG than red carpet (though don’t tell the TOWIE cast … they’re regulars). mahiki.ae; grosvenorhouse-dubai.com
Old: Expat dives Dubai’s drinking scene was once dominated by dingy Irish pubs – the sort of darkened dens that were a lifeline to
banyantree.com; £697 for a two-day course (16hrs training), or stay at the five-star hotel to receive a discount
BEST FOR: PARTY PEOPLE New: Clubbing, Mayfair style This year has seen a surge in Mayfair brands making their way to Dubai. Polynesian nightclub Mahiki opened at the start of 2012, though it doesn’t draw quite the same calibre of celebrity clientele (no Prince Harry, we’re afraid, but the Made In Chelsea cast visited). On Tuesdays, women get 92
Skydive over the manmade Palm Island
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homesick expats in the Eighties and Nineties. Though a dying breed, cheap locals still dot the city, mainly around the oncepopular areas of Bur Dubai and Deira. At Fibber Magee’s, hidden behind the Costa Coffee on Sheikh Zayed Road, Depression-era drinks deals keep the place packed (nowhere else serves up cocktails for as little as £3). The Tuesday night pub quiz, which involves sculpting plasticine (sometimes rudely) is hands-down the best in the city. fibbersdubai.com
BEST FOR: GOURMET GEEKS New: Michelin Ever since Gordon Ramsay chose Dubai as the launch point for his first international venue, the city has become so full of Michelin-starred chefs it’s a veritable gourmet Milky Way. Ramsay’s Verre has, alas, recently been put out to pasture, but there are offerings from the likes of Jamie Oliver, Gary Rhodes and the late Santi Santamaria. However, the best deal on haute grub comes from one of the city’s most expensive restaurants. French celebrity chef Pierre Gagnaire promotes himself as an artist in the kitchen. The food he serves up at Reflets par Pierre Gagnaire is irresistibly playful (think langoustines sprinkled in a spice mix made from their own barbecued shells). The lunchtime deal here can’t be beaten. For £31, you can fill up on three courses of Dubai’s very best fine dining. ichotelsgroup.com
Old: Emirati eats The UAE may be the only country where the locals are a minority. The influx in recent decades of expats and labourers means that Emiratis only make up 10 per cent of Dubai’s population. As a result, many locals tend to keep their culture – and that includes their food – close to their chests. For locals, Emirati dishes represent a taste of home. As such, they’ll go home to eat it, not sit in a restaurant and order it. As a visitor, it’s nigh-on impossible to get a taste of Emirati food: no restaurants serve it, even if they claim to. Camel burgers and camel curry at Bastakiya’s cunningly named Local House do not count. The best place to experience the real stuff is at the Sheikh ›› Mohammed Centre for Cultural Understanding, which
Arva Ahmed: happy in her work
The Insider's guide More than 200 nationalities call Dubai their home. As a result, the city has one of the most diverse restaurant scenes in the world. Arva Ahmed writes Dubai food blog I Live In A Frying Pan. She gives us her pick of Dubai’s culinary gems. How would you describe Dubai’s food scene? Incredibly diverse. Dubai is a place where you could pull up a chair at a Michelin-starred, internationally renowned restaurant, or wander off to taste ethnic specialities in the more historic parts of town. What are your favourite restaurants? My favourite places tend to be the ones that take me into the heart of Old Dubai, and give me an insight into the cultures of immigrants that moved to the city when it was still an infant trading port. I enjoy Al Tawasol in Deira, where I can sit cross-legged in a Yemeni majlis and share a communal platter of mandi (meat cooked in a tandoor), for instance. What food would you say is a must-try for visitors? It would have to be the local Emirati cuisine. Notably, balaleet (shredded omelettes with sweet fragrant vermicelli) and qouzi (roasted lamb served over rice), polished off with a sip of gahwa (Arabic coffee). What’s your top pick for a secret eat? It’s a Palestinian restaurant in Deira, Qwaider Al Nabulsi. They serve the best Arabic cheese pie, or kunafa, in town. Order the brownish na’ama version with ground semolina on top, and ask them to serve it extra hot, so that the sweet nabulsi cheese bubbles out onto the plate. Where’s good to chill out? QDs at the Park Hyatt hotel. You can cosy up at a table just steps from Dubai Creek and puff on traditional hubbly bubbly, or shisha, with views over the water.
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regularly hosts Emirati breakfasts and lunches. Serving up a massive buffet that includes luqaimat (deep-fried dough balls covered in date syrup), harees (a meaty porridge) and saloona (a rich, chicken stew), while you fatten up, staff field questions about the local culture and religion. They’re not skittish, and have addressed topics as controversial as terrorism, sex, the Islamic dress code and marrying multiple wives. cultures.ae; the breakfast is £10, lunch is £12
Old and New: Future travel in the past It’s not easy to meet the locals as a visitor to the desert city – you won’t see Emiratis driving taxis or working in shops. As a result, for most tourists, interaction with the locals is limited to going through customs. To remedy this, two Emirati entrepreneurs have launched a company called Buksha, which will offer travellers the chance to stay in an Emirati home. In the pilot programme, guests stayed in a majlis (or tent) on a mountaintop farm, ate dinner with the owner, and were even able to attend two local weddings. While still in the developing stages, it’ll offer a Dubai experience wholly unlike any other. csralahligroup.com ❚
Try wakeboarding in the Gulf
Photos: Getty, Thinkstock, Sheikh Mohammed Centre for Cultural Understanding, Royal Shaheen Events
A ski slope in a mall. Obviously
COOL DOWN WHEN IT’S TOO HOT TO HANDLE ... In most cities, locals head outside when the temperatures start to soar. In Dubai, residents do the opposite, and find solace in these cold spots ...
SKI DUBAI At Ski Dubai, the temperature is set at a cosy -4°C. You can’t beat the novelty of wearing snow pants in the desert. The indoor ski slope has snowboards and skis to rent, or true novices can opt to sled instead. skidxb.com; two-hour Ski Slope pass is £30. CHILL OUT Dubai’s only ice bar (don’t get excited, it’s non-alcoholic) is the city’s coldest venue. Temperatures hover at -6°C, and visitors can rent ski jackets to stay warm. Everything – from the tables, to the glasses of very chilled orange juice – is made of ice, and a range of (slightly melted) ice sculptures gives the place that added bit of flair. timessquarecenter.ae; entrance £10.
Searching for pearls after a dive
DUBAI ICE RINK The Dubai Mall is home to the city’s largest ice-skating rink (it’s Olympic-sized). The rink offers skating lessons, as well as some more unusual sessions (think disco skating). dubaiicerink.com; public sessions £9.50.
Barbados: Rum shops, rum tasting and rum hangovers Burj Khalifa
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Post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email email@example.com. Text TNT and your message to 81707* not stretch to my underwear! You complete knuckle head! I wish your dad had settled for a blow job, you are a complete waste of space!!! R MR LANDLORD: I want you to know I am desperately seeking a new place to stay, Converting our lounge into a bedroom may have been a good money making move but you have changed what was home into a den. This flat was never meant for 6 people. Perhaps it is safe to say that I think its time we
believe how fucking noisy you were the other night. He was only a onenight stand, so how could he have been that good. We were all awake listening to you – and we reckon you were faking it. Meg Ryan eat your heart out! Camden crew HEATHROW INJECTION: OMG, I’ve put on about six kilos in the past two months since being in London! I’m turning into a complete fatty. Why does this city have so many good restaurants! I
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saw other places. Johnny J TRAIN GIRL: My Tube ride to work has become my favorite part of the day. Each morning, I wind my way through the multitude of travellers to the same Central line carriage. I casually peek over my paper to see where you might be. On the odd occasion I have stood right next to you, I can smell your perfume and sometimes exchange a glance. You’ve smiled every time. Are you being polite? Or perhaps you are looking for me too? AY KEEP IT DOWN: Jane, we are all still pissing ourselves. We can’t
want a training buddy to help me lose the pounds. Hit me up if you fancy running together, no funny business. Fatty Paula LOOKING FOR CHANGE: I have been in London just long enough to learn you can’t run away from your issues back home. I am constantly reminded of past events, places, people. Hipsters are still too hip, Old people are still grumpy, and kicking your toe on the corner of the couch still hurts! Maybe it’s time to seriously think about heading back? I am sure I remember old people being a
lot nicer, hipsters being the right balance of cool and eclectic, and all the lounges being made of fairy floss. Grumpy George BITTER GOODBYE: Thank fuck the Olympics are over. We did shite compared to the Brits, who clearly cheated in every event. And the Opening Ceremony wasn’t as good as Sydney’s. So long! KR ROAD TRIP!: We’re five girls looking to drive around Europe next summer. We’re looking for another gang who are up for drinking, having a laugh and seeing the sights. If your crew are interested, get in touch on tntmagazine.com. The travelling posse FLIRTY 30: Moochy! I can’t believe you’re leaving your twenties behind you old bird! Can’t wait to celebrate in style. Jager-bombs here we come! London won’t know what’s hit it. Get the fuck-me-quick boots out for our final farewell. Gonna miss you babe! Louise xxx LADY IN RED: Well, a colour certainly red adjacent, like a reddy purple, not to be a big head, but you couldn’t take your eyes off me in Guerilla Burgers, last Thursday. I’m not just a perfectly sculpted piece of meat! Mikey NOT TOO PUT TOO FINE A POINT ON IT: I am desperately seeking a girlfriend. That’s it. I’m quite nice. If you’re interested, I’m interested. Jack AUSTRALIAN BOY: With your baffling array of trendy backpacks on the bus from Clapham to central every morning before 7am, I see you taking pictures of your biceps on your phone. It’s gross. Angie
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TUBE LUST: To the cute girl in the red tank top and jeans on the Piccadilly line. I see you every day, getting on at Holborn. I don’t know where you’re going to as I get off before you. Want to do breakfast tomorrow? Smile at me tomorrow if it’s a yes. DD LITERARY LOVE: To the hot guy walking around the Imperial library, I wish I had the courage to go whisper in your ear. You’re definitely what I wanted to check out and read beneath the cover that day! Book worm CHEESTASTIC: To all the cute Aussie tourists wandering around London for the Olympics. Are you lost? Do you need a map? I can give you directions to my house. P BYE WORLD: Dear world, thanks for coming to London for a big party, hope you had a nice time. Was good too see you. Come back again soon but don’t forget to bring your own tube train. Jess NO FLAGS: My Olympic flagging achievements have failed after the American girls I was trying to shag realised I’m not Prince Harry. Thought the Kiwi accent was a dead giveaway but they didn’t seem to twig until I took them to my ‘palace’ in Brixton. Kev DIRTY OLD MAN: To the milfshagging teacher in the Big Chill Bar last Thursday. Telling a bunch of girls how you sleep with your middle-aged female students is just plain weird! Stop flogging the dog and rack off! Wollongong Bitches DIRTY UNDIES: Jared you complete arsehole! I’m sharing a house with you but that does
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Published on Aug 9, 2012
TNT Magazine 13/08/2012 edition - HARD BASTARD - You need to toughen the fuck up. Heath Franklin's Chopper tells you how, SUMMER SEND-OFF -...