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THIS WEEK
IN NUMBERS 3
The amount of games it took Australia to win The Ashes against the English. I know it was ages ago but, suck it!
The amount, in thousands of units, that Beyonce’s last album sold in the first week of its release. Good work Bey!
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You can be a big pig too
EASY COME, EASY GO ‑ PIG SEMEN TO CHINA
English farmers will begin exporting pig semen to China sometime this year, as they try to cash in on the growing need for meat in the country. This story is so disgusting it just has to be true. The deal, involving fresh or frozen sperm from four artificial insemination centres in England and Northern Ireland, was agreed during Prime Minister David Cameron’s three-day trade visit to China in 2013. While the deal could well be worth a cool 45 million quid a year, one has to wonder if it’s all worth it. It’s certainly more humane then live exports though, we suppose.
THE WRIST BONE’S CONNECTED TO THE...
CHINA
A Chinese man who had his hand severed in a freak industrial accident has had the limb saved by having it attached to his ankle. The Chinese man, who suffered the accident the week before Christmas last year, had the hand kept alive on his ankle while the rest of his arm recovered. 25-year-old, Xiao Wei’s hand was in decent enough condition when he originally arrived at hospital to have the thing reattached, but the rest of his arm
The number of weird news stories from the state of Florida in 2013. Our fav was the naked, pooping masturbator!
There’s only one Clive Palmer. We think everybody should go to his new theme park ‘Palmersaurus’ just once!
UK
Give us a high five was not. His arm is still recovering but surgeons believe that at some point in the next few months he’ll have recovered sufficiently to allow for the hand to return from whence it came off. Ah, the wonders of modern medicine.
THE BEST WAY TO FIGHT OBESITY... NOT
AUS
Australian McDonalds chains have begun delivering their meals to the homes of future triple-bypass recipients in what is a world first. The first ‘Mc Delivery’ service started trials in the Western Sydney (no surprises there) suburb of Paramatta in December of last year and may well look to expand their delivery radius in the coming year. While health experts warn the scheme promotes an unhealthy combination, a sedentary lifestyle and fast-food consumption, some consumers are revelling in the convenience of not having to spend money on petrol.
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QUOTE OF THE MONTH It’s a positive sign to see openly gay representatives in the delegation President Obama’s decision to include such gay sporting icons as Billy-Jean King in the American delegation to the opening and closing ceremonies of the Russian Olympic Games has been met with widespread support and so it should!
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