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Students can’t cook

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Students can’t cook!

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Students can’t cook

Copyright Š 2011 by Hayley Law First published by blurb.com, 2011 First issued as a H Law designs paperback, 2011 38 Ransoms Avenue, Conniburrow, Milton Keynes, MK14 7BJ Hayley Law is a registered trademark of H Law designs All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, Stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of H Law designs. Originally published: www.blurb.com

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Dedicated to all those students who can’t cook and only eat rubbish food

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We all know that students can’t cook, I mean you burn toast for goodness sake. So this book is for all you future students who think your going to be cooking decent food. Well guess what, your not! We have it all, from the perfect hangover breakfast, to the drunken late night snack. This is what students really eat.

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Students can’t cook

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Students can’t cook

Contents The morning after Fry up 12-13 Left over pizza 14-15 Baked beans on toast 16-17

Pre exam lunch’s Bacon sandwich 20-21 Peanut butter and Jam sandwich 22-23 Noodles 24-25

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Pre drinking meals 7 fun things to do with pasta 28-29 Nachos 30-31 Fish and chips 32-33

Drunken late night snacks Kebab 36-37 Fishfinger sandwich 38-39 Cheese on toast 40-41

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The morning after


Students can’t cook

Fry up 1. First of all heat your frying pan (with lots of oil) and grill on a medium heat 2. Cook the sausages first, by adding them to the pan and cook for about 15-20 minutes, turning every now and then (so it doesn’t burn obviously) 3. After 10 minutes slap the bacon into the pan and fry for about 5-10 minutes depending on how crispy you like it 4. Place the mushrooms and a blob of marg in a pan and cook for 6 minutes turning occasionally 5. Cut the tomatoes in half and pour on a bit of oil, then place onto the grill tray and cook for 5 minutes turning every now and then 6. Heat another frying pan to a medium heat and pour in a load of oil. Add the bread and cook for 2-3 minutes each side until crispy and golden. 7. For the fried eggs, break the egg into the pan with the bread and leave for 30 seconds (don’t break the yolk!) 8. Serve on a plate with loads of tomato ketchup or brown sauce.

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The morning after

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Students can’t cook

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The morning after

Left over pizza 1. First of all go to your local pizza place and buy a pizza of your choice (don’t spend too much, remember you’re not made of money) 2. Take it home and only eat half of it 3. Then go out clubbing and wake up the next morning with a hangover and get it out of the fridge 4. Put the pizza on a plate and put it in the microwave, it is now ready to eat

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Students can’t cook

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The morning after

Beans on toast 1. For this easy recipe you need to put some bread in the toaster (obviously) 2. While the bread is toasting you need to heat up the baked beans in a microwave or in a saucepan for about 3 minutes until piping hot 3. You now need to butter your toast and put it on a plate 4. Finally you need to pour the baked beans over the toast and there it is (not exactly hard is it)

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Pre exam lunch’s


Students can’t cook

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Pre exam lunch’s

Bacon sandwich 1. To start off with take a frying pan and put it on a medium heat with some oil 2. Then take 2 rashers of bacon and put them in the pan to cook for about 5 minutes (more if you like it frazzled) 3. While the bacon is cooking butter 2 slices of bread 4. When the bacon is cooked put them on one of the slices of bread and squeeze some tomato sauce on the other 5. Put the piece of bread with tomato sauce on top of the one with bacon and there you go (yum!)

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Students can’t cook

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Pre exam lunch’s

Peanut butter and Jam sandwich 1. Take 1 slice of bread and a jar of peanut butter and spread about a tablespoons worth onto the bread 2. Then take another slice of bread and a jar of jam and spread about a tablespoons worth of jam on the bread 3. Finally slap the 2 pieces of bread together and there you go, easy peasy

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Students can’t cook

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Pre exam lunch’s

Noodles 1. Boil 250ml of water in a pan (more or less depending if you like it goopy or watery) 2. Open your chosen flavoured noodles and put in the pan of boiling water along with the packet of seasoning 3. Cook for 3 minutes and put in a bowl

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Pre drinking meals


Students can’t cook

7 fun things to do with pasta 1. pasta + cheese

2. pasta + tomato sauce

3. pasta + marmite

4. pasta + chocolate

5. pasta + baked beans

6. pasta + custard

7. pasta + bacon

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Pre-drinking snacks

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Students can’t cook

Nachos 1. The first step to this stupidly easy recipe is to put a good load of tortilla chips into a bowl 2. After this you need to sprinkle on lots of grated cheddar cheese and some jalapenos 3. Finally put the bowl in the microwave for about 40 seconds or until the cheese has melted. It is now ready to eat!

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Pre-drinking snacks

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Students can’t cook

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Pre-drinking snacks

Fish and chips 1. Walk to the local chippy and order some fish and chips, you could even be daring and get yourself some curry sauce as well 2. Come back home with it and put it all on a plate 3. Splash a load of vinegar on and sprinkle on some salt and there you go

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Drunken Late night snacks


Students can’t cook

Kebab 1. Walk down to the kebab van and order an extra large doner kebab with lots of salad, chilli sauce, and mayonnaise 2. You then need to walk home with it, take it out of the wrapping and eat it with your fingers like a pig

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Late night drunken snacks

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Students can’t cook

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Late night drunken snacks

Fishfinger sandwich 1. The first step here is to cook the fish fingers in the oven for about 15 minutes 2. While the fish fingers are cooking you will need to butter 2 slices of bread 3. When the fish fingers are cooked, put them between the 2 bits of bread and that’s it, nice quick and easy (isn’t that what the whole book is about)

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Students can’t cook

Cheese on toast 1. Start off by preeating the grill on a medium heat then put 2 slices of bread in the toaster 2. Next step is to grate a good handful of cheddar cheese 3. When the toast is ready, sprinkle the grated cheese on top of it and put it under the grill for about 3-5 minutes until the cheese has melted. Serve on a plate

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Late night drunken snacks

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Students can’t cook

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Students can’t cook

Put your own recipes or doodles here

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