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The Scab Bakery Written and drawn by big T og little t

Publishing house The Little Body Factory

The Scab Bakery

The Scab Bakery

Written and drawn by big T og little t Copyright 2008 Tommy Linnebjerg Bærentzen, Thomas Thingstrup og Anette Thingstrup Første udgave. 1. oplag Typografisk tilrettelægninig: Tommy Linnebjerg Bærentzen Trykt hos xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Printed in xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 2009

. . . m u u u Mu

“It’s been a really horrible week” thinks Sam. He was in bed and he was bored. First he had fallen off his bike and cut his knee. Next he had begun to feel really cold and shivery, as if it was winter. But it wasn’t winter, it was summer, and Sam had the flu. He was just starting to feel a bit better again, which was good as next week he was going camping with the scouts. And Sam loves camping out in a tent in the wilds.

Sam’s temperature is now 39.5 degrees and he is feeling terrible. It’s like he has a full heat roasting oven in his body. It’s deadly boring being sick. Luckily Sam has a really good, thick scab on his knee that he can pick when he feels like it. It’s the one that he got from falling off his bicycle. Picking at scabs is the perfect thing to do when bored. Sam thinks that scabs are things that appear all by themselves when he falls over or cuts himself. But that’s not where they come from at all.

All scabs are baked in the Little Body Factory’s own special bakery. The bakery is in its own building, next door to the Fart Factory, down in Sam’s tummy. Even though it’s the smallest bakery in the world, it makes all the scabs Sam will ever need, even the new ones to replace the ones he picks off when he is bored, or when they itch too much. When Sam fell off his bike and had a plaster on his grazed knee, someone put in an order to the Scab Bakery for an extra crispy thick scab, with bits of dirty grit in it.

Those are S am’s favouri te kind. And that is what he is lying in be d picking at .

In the Scab Bakery they bake beautiful scabs all day and all night. All different kinds of scabs have to be ready for whenever they are needed. Every time Sam cuts or grazes himself, he needs a scab to cover the hole in his skin, until it repairs itself. This is so that things don’t fall out and nasty little animals don’t get in.

You probably think that it’s easy to bake scabs, but it isn’t. They must not stick to the plaster when it’s taken off, as that really hurts and the hole will start to bleed again. Dad is very cruel, he takes the plasters off far too fast and pulls the scabs off also. But even worse, if they stick to the plaster then Sam can’t pick the scabs off. Therefore special techniques are used to bake the scabs to perfection.

They are always busy in the Scab Bakery, but in the summer when Sam runs around in shorts, they need extra workers as they are so busy. Sam seems to really enjoy throwing himself at the ground, falling out of trees and doing very bad wheelies on his bicycle. Also, this summer his stabilisers are going to be taken off his bike and he will try to learn to roller skate again and walk on stilts and lots of other dangerous things that will keep the Scab Bakery extra busy.

The Scab Bakery’s Master Baker is very clever and highly skilled. His scabs can be displayed on knees and elbows without falling off. They are also crispy and thick enough to stick to Sam’s teeth when he chews them. He has a secret recipe that came from his great, great, great grandfather, who was also a Master Baker at the Little Body Factory.

It says the perfect scab should have a teaspoon of grit or dirt for each scab the size of a bottle top. This makes them crusty in just the right way when chewed. 2 million old dead skin cells and 8-10 drops of blood mixed into the dough at the end, with a pinch of hoof powder, are the other ingredients that the Master Baker uses. They are standard in very single scab, even Granddads.

Once the dough has been kneaded, it’s rolled and baked in the oven at 37.5 degrees for 30 minutes, depending on the weather. The ovens in the Scab Bakery aren’t very big, about the size of a plughole. Please don’t think this is small. Just remember that it’s this oven that heats the whole of Sam’s body to 37.5 degrees, which Sam is very happy with. But tonight something wasn’t right... The Scab Bakery’s Master Baker has set the oven to extra hot and that has given Sam a temperature and his parents think he has the flu.

The Master Baker has forgotten that Sam is going to scout camp next week. Camping will need lots and lots of scabs, so many that some have to be made early and stored ready for use. This is why they are extra, extra busy in the Scab Bakery. As the last batch of scabs are put into the oven, the Master Baker accidentally turns the oven up to 40 degrees, rather than the usual 37.5. “Oh my it’s warm” thinks the Master Baker. “It must be because I am running around so much” . He has a very red face. So has Sam as his temperature is now 39.5 degrees. It’s only when the Master Baker is bending down to get some small stones to add to the mix, that he realises the oven is much too hot.

“OO OUU UUu ucch hh” “OOOUUUU uucchhh” he screams as his bottom touches the hot oven and he burns his bum.

He turns the oven down to 37.5 very fast ! “Ahhhh that’s much better” , thinks the Master Baker. So does Sam as his temperature starts to go down. Unfortunately the scabs in the hot oven have to be thrown in the rubbish as they are now burnt and are no good for Sam’s camping trip. It’s a shame, as the Master Baker now has to make a whole new batch, not just for Sam’s camping trip, but also 2 scabs for his own bum, which was burnt on the oven! And that takes time...

For the first time ever Sam came home from a whole weeks camping without a single cut or graze. Which is just as well as the Master Baker still hasn’t finished making more scabs to replace the ones he burnt, and there were none ready in case Sam had fallen over.

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Are you ready for some fun exploration? Get in your car and drive into your mouth. After a few centimetres take the passage to the right-that way you will avoid your dinner from yesterday. Keep going past your lungs past your heart and into your stomach. Here you’ll find the Little Body Factory. It is difficult to hear and feel the Little Body Factory. But if you listen carefully, you can hear the sounds from all the workers who are busy shaping new bogeys or refilling tear bottles, baking scabs, editing dreams, putting bruises on sore knees or one of other fantastic things that your body does. If you do see the Little Body Factory, then be quiet and don’t tell anyone... ...otherwise the workers may be too distracted to deliver a really good fart with a funny noise.

Publishing house The Little Body Factory

The Little Body Factory, volume 4: The Scab Bakery  

By Tommy Linnebjerg & Thomas Bjørn Tingstrup

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