The Bogey Mill Skrevet og tegnet af Store T og lille t
Forlaget Den Lille Kropsfabrik
“Du lille Kasper... er det ikke nogle underlige historier lille t og Store T fortæller?” kommer det undrende fra Store Kasper. “Agy, agy, ga, ga” vrøvler lille Kasper – han synes nemlig det er herligt at få go’ nat historier fra Den Lille Kropsfabrik læst op inden han skal sove. I det samme lyder der et kæmpe latterbrøl fra køkkenet, hvor lille t og Store T netop har fundet på en ny historie om ørevoks. Store T er ældre end lille t, bor i en stor by og har en stor søn der hedder Kasper. Derfor bliver han kaldt Store T. Lille t er den yngste, bor i en lille by og har en lille søn der hedder Kasper. Derfor bliver han kaldt lille t. “Det er nu underligt med voksne” siger Store Kasper. “Den anden dag kom farfar med sjove latterlyde da han bladrede i min nye bog fra Den Lille Kropsfabrik. Mon han osse får læst historier højt af Store T?” “Hmm” tænker Store Kasper. Han har svært ved at forestille sig Store T læse go’ nathistorier om bussemænd højt for farfar. Men måske... måske er de voksne alligevel ikke så voksne. Måske er det bare noget de lader som om... I virkeligheden elsker de osse historierne fra Den Lille Kropsfabrik.
The Bogey Mill Bussemandstrilleriet
Skrevet og tegnet af Store T og lille t Copyright 2008 Tommy Linnebjerg Bærentzen, Thomas Thingstrup og Anette Thingstrup Første udgave. 1. oplag Typograﬁsk tilrettelægninig: Tommy Linnebjerg Bærentzen Trykt hos xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Printed in xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 2009
Bogeys are made from snot, which comes from the seldom seen Snot Goblins. The Bogey Mill is jam packed full of Snot Goblins. Sam’s Mum was very happy with her new bead necklace. “It has some of the best bogeys I have ever made” thought Sam proudly. Sam knows exactly how two of his bogeys became part of his Mum’s necklace, but he has no idea what the brightly coloured snot balls are made of.
They wander around the factory waiting for the best bit of the day, when the big Snot Sucking Machine milks their brightly coloured snot into big jars.
Once the snot is collected it is left to stand and thicken at room temperature, until it reaches the same consistency as jelly. Then it is ready to be slopped down the Snot Chute and into the small bogey moulds. Next they are rolled and weighed and sometimes rolled again, until they are the perfect size and shape for Sam’s nostrils.
All the snot from the Bogey Mill is quality snot. Each bogey is tailor made for each customer’s nostrils. The workers at the Bogey Mill are very proud of their bogeys. Each one is signed by its maker when its ﬁnished. One time the Bogey Mill made a mistake and made 6,000 bogeys the size of oranges. They were much to big to ﬁt in Sam’s nose. Luckily a very clever snot roller sold them to a circus that needed new bogeys for its elephants.
Sam, like lots of other children, is getting fussier about his bogeys. He’s no longer so keen on traditional round bogeys, he wants bogeys shaped like funny people, which are all the fashion nowadays. That’s why the Little Body Factory’s Chief Bogey Designer has made some new moulds shaped like cartoon characters, along with bogeys in exciting new colours and tastes, as well as some ﬂat bottomed bogeys for sticking under desks or chairs. He is very proud of these.
The Bogey Mill is the only part of the Little Body Factory to have a special department that develops sneezes and nose bleeds. It’s not easy and is quite dangerous to make sneezes.
A good sneeze is made from milli o of little bugs ns tha are sorted and t divided into sm all packages. They are then are nose ready to ex taken up into the a special remot plode with the help of e that the Bogey controlled detonator M The detonators ill has developed. a able and can g re rather unpredicto off before the meant to. y are
When Sam gets a nose bleed it’s because the sprinkler system has been activated when Sam’s nose gets bumped. When Sam has a nose bleed everyone crosses their ﬁngers that a sneeze won’t go off unexpectedly at the same time.
It was difﬁcult for the workers to carry the freshly rolled bogeys down the stairs from the 6th ﬂoor to the delivery lorries. Therefore the bogey developers made a special tube. The bogeys can slide down from the window and straight into the delivery lorries that are parked at the back of the factory.
Once the lorries are fully loaded with all the bogeys that can possibly be squeezed in, they drive up to Sam’s nose. This usually happens in the night when Sam is sleeping, because during the day when Sam is running around and playing with his friends, there is a risk that the lorries could be shaken out of his nose. And that’s dangerous.
A week ago two drivers had delivered a couple of bogeys to Sam’s nostrils. Coming back they hadn’t noticed the warning signs in his sinus tubes. They carried on at full speed down his throat, through his gullet and into his stomach, where the lorry skidded on a piece of lettuce that Sam had eaten for his dinner, before landing on a big lump of cauliﬂower. Luckily no damage was done, apart from a few dents to the lorry. Although Sam had a bit of a tummy ache. They drove at full speed back out of Sam’s stomach, as it was starting to move is a strange way. They weren’t sure if it was because the lorry was there or because Sam had also eaten lots of beans and cabbage for dinner.
After that the bogey deliverymen always keep a good eye out for signs when they are driving.
There are two small men in each lorry, who take it in turns to drive or keep the delivery papers in order. It is important that no bogeys are lost or delivered to the wrong nostril. Driving the bogey delivery lorry is dangerous. Ear protectors are very important. This is because sometimes Sam snores so loudly that the drivers could become deaf from all that noise. If they forget their ear protectors they can, in emergencies, put a couple of bogeys in their ears. The delivery men must at all times use their safety lines that are attached to all the bogey lorries. This is because a few years ago two bogey deliverymen were blown out of Samâ€™s nose during a sudden sneezing attack.
Back in the nostrils they are attaching new grollies to the inside of Sam’s nostrils. Soon Sam will wake up. The last nail is just being hammered into place when Sam’s nose starts to twitch from side to side and shake quite violently. The two small deliverymen look at each other in terror. Is the sneeze bomb about to explode ? Luckily it was just Sam snifﬁng in his sleep.
Sam doesn’t really care about the Bogey Mill. All he cares about is that there are enough bogeys up his nose to pick when he is bored. Like yesterday, when he was sitting in Sadie’s room and was very bored. He dug out two big beautiful round bogeys from the very best spot in his nose. Suddenly Sadie came back in and disturbed him. With a quick ﬂick of his hand, Sam ﬂicked the two masterpieces into the jar of beads standing on Sadie’s table.
“Please get out of my room Sam. I am busy making a necklace for Mum’s birthday tomorrow” growled Sadie.
The next day Sam’s whole family were gathered around as his Mum opened her birthday presents. She unwrapped Sadie’s present and held up the beautiful bead necklace. “I made it myself with my beads and some string” Sadie said proudly. Two of the beads on the necklace looked a little odd compared to the rest. In fact they looked a little like bogeys.
Sam felt very proud as well. He too had made something for his Mum’s birthday.
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Nu skal du med på en meget spændende køretur. Hop ind i din bil og kør ind i din mund. Fem centimeter fremme holder du til højre – så havner du ikke i den gale hals. Fortsæt ned mellem lungerne, og forbi hjertet til du kommer til mavesækken. Det er her Den Lille Kropsfabrik ligger. Du kan ikke mærke Den Lille Kropsfabrik selv om den arbejder hårdt med med at trille bussemænd, fylde tårer på ﬂasker, bage sårkager, klippe drømme sammen eller lave fregner og blå mærker. Hvis du kigger du dig godt for ﬁnder du den. Men du må ikke sige det til nogen... for så bliver den bare forstyrret og glemmer at give dineprutter sjove lyde.
Forlaget Den Lille Kropsfabrik