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Revise: Adding Personal Details One thing the writer could have done better was

to use personal details. They

would have made his viewpoint even clearer. Adding personal details also could have made the writing more entertaining. Here is how a sentence from the Student Model coutd be improved.

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I was raking leaves when I heard a loud metallic bang.

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A. Revise these by adding personal details that the writer might have used. Use the Word Bank to help you.

1.

I have chores to do at home.

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rilord Sang chores

garbage dtnner dishes

soccer league feel

2.

I play on a sports team.

thunderstorms hurricanes

pancale strawberry shortcake

3. I do not like ceriain kinds of weather.

4. My grandmother

B.

is a good cook.

Revise the draft of an autobiographical composition you wrote on page 16 by adding

personal details. Do your writing on another sheet of paper.

Writer's Companion. UNIT 1 Lesson 2 Writer's Viewpoint


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