CMYK ➛
THE TIMES LEADER www.timesleader.com
D
I
V
E
R
S
I
O
N
S
THURSDAY, MAY 3, 2012 PAGE 5C
Wisdom of age teaches husband to hold his fire after wife is insulted Dear Abby: While standing in a serving line at a restaurant, a man commented to my wife about her weight. She was very upset. My take was, “Don’t talk to strange men.” Later, I wondered whether I should have confronted the guy. As a young man I was prone to rash actions. I would like to think in my golden years that I have outgrown this tendency. Still, I’m not sure I handled the situation correctly. Please advise. — Texas Tom Dear Texas Tom: Although as a young man you were prone to rash actions, as a mature one you gained
DEAR ABBY ADVICE the ability to control your temper. Had you confronted the boor, the situation would have escalated and you could have wound up in the pokey charged with assault. I’m advising you that you were correct to do nothing. The man is lucky your wife didn’t “serve” him a fist sandwich. Dear Abby: When my husband, “Jeff,” and I married, we drew up a medical proxy and health care directives should future incapacitation arise. Jeff is now terminally ill with brain cancer and has about five months to live. Over the last two
UNIVERSAL SUDOKU
years he has been through four surgeries, 25 doses of radiation, countless doctors’ appointments and physical therapy. As his illness progresses, we have discussed placing him in a hospice. But the closer he gets to death, the more he changes his mind. He demands that I lift, jerk and pull him in and out of bed. When I can no longer do this, he wants me to install a hoist. He needs assistance eating, dressing, bathing, using the toilet and is in a wheelchair. Jeff’s tumor is growing, causing pressure and affecting his mental attitude. He’s impatient, demanding, selfish and nasty. I’m caring for him at home because it’s his home and I am his wife. Somehow, his illness makes him feel entitled to act like a selfish
CRYPTOQUOTE
child. At what point do I put him in a hospice facility without his family calling me a nasty witch and Jeff kicking and screaming to be let out and return home? — End of My Rope Dear End: Please accept my sympathy. Your husband is sick and in pain and the cancer may have affected his ability to think rationally. If you haven’t discussed this with your husband’s doctor, you must. It may not be necessary to place Jeff in an inpatient facility because many terminally ill patients can receive the same care in their homes. However, it will take a referral from a doctor, certifying that your husband has six months or less to live. Much of the cost is covered by Medicare, and
most insurance also covers it. Hospice provides visits from doctors, nurses, home health care aides and volunteers who can help with bathing your husband, changing his linens and some of the lifting that you’re worried about. For your sake and his, you should contact the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. It can help you find a hospice provider. The toll-free phone number is 800-658-8898 or log onto www.nhpco.org. To receive a collection of Abby’s most memorable — and most frequently requested — poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby’s “Keepers,” P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
HOROSCOPE BY HOLIDAY MATHIS
GOREN BRIDGE WITH OMAR SHARIF & TANNAH HIRSCH PREVIOUS DAY’S SOLUTION
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Your idols may fall. That’s what human idols do, after all. The good news is that no one can take away what you’ve learned or the qualities you admired in the first place. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Does that special person in your life make you want to be a better partner? If not, you’ll be turning the question around in your mind. How can you make your loved ones want to rise to the occasion of you? GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The plan changes and you’ll go with the flow. Your flexibility will be appreciated, although maybe you shouldn’t make a habit of this. People need to know that you’ll hold them accountable. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Honesty is not as hard to come by as people think. The key to getting answers is to make it OK for them to tell the truth. If others think the truth angers you, they won’t mention it. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). People owe you. Everyone knows the score, and it would be wrong for you not to take your turn. Also, others will love to know they helped you. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your nurturing qualities will be amplified. You’ll continue to look for ways to build other people up, especially if you believe they have less than you. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You don’t want to waste what you’re given, and yet not all of it is going to work for your situation. Holding on just because you’re afraid to lose is not a good reason.
CROSSWORD
ON THE WEB For more Sudoku go to www.timesleader.com
MINUTE MAZE JUMBLE BY MICHEAL ARGIRION & JEFF KNUREK
HOW TO CONTACT: Dear Abby: PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your drive pushes you; your goals pull you; and your life distracts you. There’s probably a good reason. These distractions are telling you something about what you need. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). How will your life look after you’ve achieved your aims? Envision it as much as you can today while your imagination and creativity are strong. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You have this habit of creating the magic and then giving other people the credit for what you did. Stop deflecting the glory. Soak it in, and let it fuel your next endeavor. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The bottom line is your vitality will improve when you get more sleep. Revisit your routine. Does it support relaxation as much as it could? A few adjustments will make a difference. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’ll be making an agreement with life. If you give it your very best and expect to get something back for your effort, it will go all wrong. Expecting nothing — that’s when the magic happens. TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (May 3). You have a way of building excitement around yourself, and you’ll love the feeling of being in the spotlight. Others will seek your nurturing and guidance in June. Your internal compass will point the way. You’ll take on a new project in July, and things happen quickly for you — a sign that you’re on the right path. Scorpio and Sagittarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 19, 24, 30 and 14.