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ISSUE 2012.16

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

April 5, 2012

by Blue Sullivan

Our great country has seen its fair share of odd criminal cases. Here are some of the more peculiar or funny ones. • Violators of a noise ordinance in Fort Lupton, Colorado, were sentenced to face the music by being made to listen to loud music by artists such as Barry Manilow and Dolly Parton. • In Niagara Falls, New York, a judge was so enraged by a cell phone going off during court that, when no one owned up to the phone, he threw the entire courtroom in jail.

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• In Delray Beach, Florida, a man was arrested after a dispute with his wife, who refused to give him his “lucky” boxer shorts. • In Cochocton, Ohio, a judge gave two young offenders an option in punishment for throwing beer bottles at ladies: 60 days in jail or one hour walking through downtown dressed as women. They chose the latter. • When two men in Painesville, Ohio, were charged for shooting up a neighbor’s house with paintball guns, the judge ordered them to continue their target practice — on their own cars. turn the page for more!

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MOMENTS IN TIME • On April 27, 4977 B.C., the universe is created, according to 17th-century German mathematician and astronomer Johannes Kepler. Scientists in the 20th century developed the Big Bang theory, which showed that Kepler’s calculations were off by about 13.7 billion years. • On April 23, 1564, according to tradition, the great English dramatist and poet William Shakespeare is born in Stratford-on-Avon. It is impossible to be certain the exact day on which he was born, but church records show that he was baptized on April 26, and three days was a customary amount of time to wait before baptizing a newborn. • On April 26, 1865, John Wilkes Booth is killed when Union soldiers track him down to a Virginia farm 12 days after he assassinated President Abraham Lincoln. The original plan involved a simultaneous assassination of Lincoln, Vice President Andrew Johnson and Secretary of State William Seward. • On April 24, 1936, a group of firemen responding to an alarm in Camden, N.J., is televised. It was the first time an unplanned event was broadcast on television, anticipating the development of live TV news coverage. • On April 25, 1947, President Harry Truman officially opens the first White House bowling alley. Eisenhower closed the two-lane alley in 1955 and turned it into a mimeograph room. Nixon had a one-lane alley installed underground directly beneath the North Portico entrance of the White House. • On April 28, 1958, “The Witch Doctor,” by singer/ songwriter David Seville, hits the No. 1 spot on Billboard’s pop charts. The song used the unusual technique of recording the singer’s voice at a speed different than the music. • On April 29, 1974, President Richard Nixon announces to the public that he will release transcripts of 46 taped White House conversations in response to a Watergate trial subpoena. On Aug. 8, 1974, Nixon avoided a Senate impeachment trial by becoming the first American president to resign from office. (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc.

Karlena’s Korner

www.mailmartandgiftshop.net

by Freddy Groves

Thieves Nabbed

The authorities are making headway in nailing individuals who steal from the Department of Veterans Affairs -- and ultimately from veterans. Here are some of the top stories: --A man in Tennessee has been arrested for fabricating and selling phony documents. He created military award certificates, honorable discharge paperwork and replacement documents, down to the actual agency seals used. In some cases he made up names of the document signers; in others he duplicated the signature. He collected a cool $200,000 for making these reproductions of military documents. Not only was he selling to veterans who’d genuinely earned their awards and only needed replacement documentation, but he sold to the phonies, too. Sentencing will be this summer. --Another pair pleaded guilty after cooking up a scheme that involved staffing at one of the VA’s outpatient pharmacies -- to the tune of $8 million over seven years. It involved use of a Small Business Administration certification and illegal gratuities. --In Missouri, a man was found guilty of accepting gratuities from contractors for sending $3.4 million worth of VA work their way. Others in the scam were nailed for creating a fake company that was supposed to be owned by a disabled veteran. --In South Carolina a woman was nabbed for collecting more than $37,000 in veterans survivor funds. She’d claimed benefits after marrying a veteran who then passed away. She neglected to notify the VA that she had separated from the veteran before his death and later remarried (when the benefits should have stopped), and even went on to claim educational benefits years afterward. What’s especially encouraging is that all of these happened this year. The sum total just on these cases alone is $11 million plus. Write to Freddy Groves in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to columnreply@gmail.com. (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc.

The Diaper Bank of the Rockies is a newly formed non-profit organization dedicated to ensuring that all children in the state of Colorado have an adequate supply of diapers in order to help safeguard them from possible abuse and health issues. Through fundraising efforts and diaper drives the Diaper Bank of the Rockies supplies existing organizations (such as food banks, shelters and social service agencies) with diapers which they then distribute to poor families throughout our community. 1 diaper a day is NOT enough but for many infants and toddlers, whose families are in poverty, this is a sad reality. Being forced to leave a child in a soiled diaper for a long period of time can lead to many health and abuse risks. So, Hop to it!!! Donate some diapers today! When ~ The entire month of April Where ~ You can drop off packages of diapers (any brand, any size), wipes and/or diaper rash ointments to Mountain Kids located at 419 East Stuart Street in Fort Collins.

Diaper Bank of the Rockies 2463 Ashland Lane Fort Collins, Colorado 80524 - Phone – (970) 412-2046 Email – information@diaperbankoftherockies.com

1. ART: Which French painter is known for his depictions of ballerinas? 2. ANATOMY: Where is the hyoid bone located? 3. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What is the only mammal that can fly on its own? 4. GEOGRAPHY: What is the smallest U.S. state in land area? 5. TELEVISION: What was the theme song of the TV sitcom “Married with Children”? 6. MOVIES: Who played the dad in the film “The Shining”? 7. ADVERTISEMENTS: What product did the first television advertisement feature? 8. HISTORY: Aside from Rome, where did the popes of the Catholic Church reside for a brief period in the Middle Ages? 9. PERSONALITIES: What actor got his start as a circus performer? 10. FAMOUS QUOTES: Who once said, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”?


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1. Is the book of Bethany in the Old or New Testament or neither? 2. From Romans 16, Paul described what devout woman as “our sister”? Rachel, Deborah, Martha, Phoebe 3. What pastor was the son of Eunice? James, Timothy, Laban, Hushai 4. Where was the longest epistle of Paul sent? Rome, Joppa, Gibeon, Nazareth 5. From Genesis 3:4, who/what told the first lie? Adam, Eve, Serpent, Cain 6. What did James say is “set on fire of hell”? Adulterer, Tongue, Ribald, Unfathered

Presents

• Shane Stant went before an Oregon judge to have his record expunged after a felony conviction for his part in the 1994 Olympic skating scandal that sidelined Nancy Kerrigan and put Tonya Harding in jail. His reason for wanting his record expunged? His felony was keeping him out of the Navy Seals.

THE U.S. ON TRIAL! (continued): • Two teenage girls in Boca Raton, Florida, were arrested for a catfight over what one of them had posted on Myspace. • A man in Bristol, Pennsylvania, was arrested after robbing a house when he found himself unable to leave. The man had entered the garage and locked the door behind him, only to discover he couldn’t get the automatic door to open. He remained in the garage for eight days, living on Pepsi and dog food until the startled owners came home. • A man in San Diego, California, was charged with stealing lobsters from traps. When the police arrived to arrest him, he hid the plundered lobsters in his pants. Ouch!

• In the 1991 film “The Super,” Joe Pesci played a slumlord who was sentenced to live in his own run-down apartment building. In 2008, a Cleveland judge gave a man the same punishment: house arrest in his own dilapidated building. • A Los Angeles woman was charged with wasting police resources after she called 911 to report that her onion rings were cold after receiving them at a local fast food joint. • A woman in Lake Parsippany, New Jersey, was charged with disorderly conduct after making several 911 calls. She insisted that it wasn’t her fault, saying her German shepherd had made them without her knowledge. • A Georgia judge got tough on graffiti by ordering vandalized businesses to remove the offending graffiti in 30 days or face a $1,000 fine.

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• Don’t steal Wi-Fi service in Florida, or you can face a felony charge. That’s what one man discovered after accessing a homeowner’s service while in his car. The homeowner reported the crime after noticing an unfamiliar car parked in front of his house. • A police chief in Washington, D.C., learned first hand about crime when his squad car was stolen a block from his home. He was disciplined for leaving his riot gear in the trunk. • A man in Berkeley, California, received several ransom notes after a 6-foot bald Cyprus tree was stolen from in front of his house. The price of its return was the replanting of the tree in a place that didn’t obstruct the view of drivers in the neighborhood. • A man in Madison, Wisconsin, isn’t remarkable for why he was arrested (for violating probation), but for his name. His legal name is Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop. • A 65-year-old Utah woman was charged with misdemeanor assault for an attack on the driver of an ice-cream truck. She claimed the attack was justified because the prices of the frozen treats were too high.

Contact Dan now to design an ad specific to your business, find out how advertising with Tidbits can help grow your business. Put in the work now to reap the benefits this Spring and Summer. Advertise with Tidbits, it’s in every budget, big or small, and it works!!


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Dear Trainer by Alex Square

Dear trainer: I’ve been working with a trainer for a while now but not seeing the results I want to see. Is my trainer the problem? Trainer: Good trainers will structure workouts to meet your goals in a timely fashion. However, what you do away from the gym is just as important as what you do while you’re there. For some it’s understood that working hard in the gym entitles you to eat whatever you want when you go home. FALSE! Think of it on terms of a car: if you put bad gas into your vehicle it won’t operate the way it was intended to. The same goes for our bodies. If you don’t refuel with the right foods your hard work goes right out the window.

1. Which three majorleague pitchers hold the record for most consecutive starts without a victory? 2. What is the highest Andre Dawson ranks on the Chicago Cubs’ list of most home runs for a season? 3. In the 2010 season, Mark Ingram became the Alabama Crimson Tide’s all-time leader in rushing touchdowns (42). Who had held the mark? 4. During the 1986-87 and 1987-88 seasons, the Seattle SuperSonics had three players each average 20 points per game. Name two of the three. 5. On how many U.S. Olympic teams did NHL great Mike Modano play? 6. Chaunte Lowe set an American record in 2012 in the women’s high jump at the USA Indoor Track and Field Championships. How high did she jump? 7. In 2011, Charl Schwartzel became the third South African golfer to win the Masters. Name the first two.

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FITBITS SPONSORED BY: Research shows that adults 18 and older must get 30 minutes of physical activity on five or more days of the week in order to stay healthy, while children and teens must get 60 minutes a day.

The Grandparent Scam The Grandparent Scam targets seniors who fall for a trick of handing over money to an imposter grandchild. Even though it’s an old scam, it shows no sign of fading away. If anything, this scam is making a resurgence. Typically the senior will get a call, supposedly from a grandchild, and be told there’s an emergency: The grandchild is in trouble, or there’s been an accident, or a mistaken arrest. It sounds very believable. No matter what the story, it always involves the need for secrecy -- and fast cash to be wired immediately. Sometimes the story is that the money is needed to pay an attorney or for medical treatment. Perhaps the person on the other end of the phone pretends to be the police, a doctor or an attorney. If you get one of these calls, don’t immediately agree to send money. Your first step is to verify the details. Is it really your grandchild on the other end of the phone? If you don’t recognize your grandchild’s voice, don’t feed him information by saying “Is this David?” Wait until he gives you the name. If he doesn’t, it’s likely a scam. Your second step is to call your grandchild’s home to verify whether he or she is actually away -- or sitting right there. Whatever you do, don’t send any money without verification. Keep in mind that crooks on social media sites online can glean a lot of information. Beware naming your grandchildren on Facebook or anywhere else. If this has happened to you, you must report it to the police. But you won’t be alone. Thousands of others experienced this type of scam last year alone. Matilda Charles regrets that she cannot personally answer reader questions, but will incorporate them into her column whenever possible. Write to her in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to columnreply@gmail.com. (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc.

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• When a policeman pulled over a Washington man for speeding, he discovered that the passenger was a green skeleton in a hooded sweatshirt. The driver employed his scary co-pilot to use the faster commuter lane. • A Florida man was charged with bribery of a public official when he tried to bribe two arresting officers with tickets for the Miami Dolphins, who started the 2011 season by losing its first seven games. Said the chastising judge: “Have you been watching the Dolphins? No one’s going to go to that game.” • Four Pittsburgh teens were caught and charged with theft after showing off their stolen loot on Facebook just an hour after they robbed a convenience store. • Two Florida women were accused of stealing decorations this past Christmas. They were caught because they put them in their yard less than a block from where the items had been stolen. • In Brookville, Pennsylvania, a 45-year-old man was charged with disorderly conduct after faking his own death to get out of work. He wrote up his own memorial notice, which was actually published in the local newspaper. • A Washington jury acquitted a man involved in a break-in where he threw a weasel at the homeowner. The weasel was deceased, and the projectile caused no harm.


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THE STATE BUILDING Dan EMPIRE Mason I

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by Blue Sullivan P.O. Box 2565 Loveland, CO 80539 Bu s: (97 -6347 The Empire State Building of New York0) 658 City is one of the most famous and illustrious skyscrapers in the world. Below are some interesting facts about the monumental landmark. • Standing over 1,400 feet tall with 102 floors, the Empire State Building took approximately 7 million man hours to construct. • Construction began in 1930 during the Great Depression and took one year and 45 days to complete, finishing ahead of schedule. • The building’s lights change colors to denote different holidays. The Empire State Building remained illuminated with red, white and blue lights for an extended period of time after September 11, 2001. • The 365,000-ton building has 6,514 windows and 1,872 steps.

-6347 (970) 658

• In an effort to create a global model for sustainability, experts are looking at initiatives to reduce the building’s energy consumption by 40 percent. • The cost of construction was $24,718,000. Because it was built during the Great Depression, the total cost was only half the normal budget of an structure of its magnitude. • In honor of the 50th anniversary of the film “King Kong” in 1983, an inflatable King Kong was placed of the Empire State calatl tthe odpeak a y Building.to get notic ed • In 1955, the Empire State Building was selected by the American Society of Civil Engineers as one of the seven greatest engineering achievements in America’s history. • Empire State Building elevator operator Betty Lou Oliver still holds a place in the Guinness Book of World Records after she survived plunging 75 stories in the elevator.


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Home Improvement THIS IS A HAMMER By Samantha Mazzotta Clearing Away Wasps Q: Checking out the eaves last week, I saw several small wasp nests tucked into the more sheltered corners. What’s the best way to get rid of these nests? -- Charlie L. in South Carolina

top. And we have notepads! -- M.L. in Iowa

(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.

• Keep a map or globe in your family or TV room. This way, when a place is mentioned on the news or in another program, you can find it quickly on the map. This is a great thing to do with kids, but it’s handy and worthwhile for anyone. M.A., via email

• When packing cookies in a single layer, I trace the • If you have a very stinky trash can, scrub it with a paste shape of my container on parchment paper using the lid made from baking soda and just a bit of water. It works as as a template. It’s pretty easy, and it fits exactly. a mild abrasive. Then fill a spray bottle with plain white vinegar and spray. It should foam for a moment. Let it sit • Keep a small wastepaper basket or shredder near your for about 10 minutes, then rinse well with hot water. Clean home’s entrance, if possible. You can get rid of paper and deodorized! items you don’t need -- think, junk mail -- before it even makes it into the house. This is especially important if • We have large buckets that we use to store toys on our you tend to let things pile up, like I do! -- R.F. in Loui- back porch. It seems that whenever we’d touch the buckets siana to get a toy out, a horde of mosquitoes would erupt. There’s no water, so we didn’t know what to do. And we didn’t • For scratch paper, I use the back side of my kids’ extra want to douse it with chemicals, as it’s filled with kid stuff. art pages. We choose the best to display, then they chop A neighbor suggested we put a few dryer sheets in each up the rest into small booklets, which they staple at the

A: There are a few ways to remove those small wasp nests from the exterior of your house, and the quicker, the better. Wasps could possibly begin extending the nests inside the walls if they’re not dealt with. In fact, you’ll want to check the attic or storage space above the eaves, as well as crawlspaces under the house, for evidence of wasps before starting the removal. To remove the wasp nest, make sure the kids and pets are inside to prevent possible stings from angry wasps. Wear long sleeves, pants, work gloves and sturdy shoes to protect yourself. And of course, if you have an allergy to bee stings, don’t clear the nests yourself; call in a pest-control service. The most effective way to get rid of the nests and reduce the chances of the wasps coming back is to use a chemical spray. Wait until dusk, when WE ARE MORE THAN JUST A ROOFING COMPANY! the wasps have returned to the nests, then spray according to the directions on the product. You may have to wait up to a week for all activity in the nests to subside; then you can climb up to the eaves and carefully pull off the nests. An all-natural method for wasp removal is to gear up (cover all your skin, put protective netting over your face, and have an escape route) John Evans Contracting, LLC and spray each nest with a jet of water from your • (970) 373-9140 garden hose. This doesn’t kill the wasps, and • 12405 N Cty Rd. 17, Ft. Collins

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you’ll probably see them building nests again in fall or spring. What if you found that the wasps have gotten inside your home’s siding during your initial survey? You’ll probably want to stick with the chemical spray of the outside nests (not your interior walls) in order to kill them. One of my readers recommended using a wet/dry vacuum with a hose attachment to suck up as many wasps from their entry/exit point as possible. If neither of these methods eradicate the wasps, contact a pestcontrol service. HOME TIP: Found a wasp’s nest in a tree at the far end of the yard? Consult a pest-control service before removing it, as the displaced wasps could simply move over to your house. Send your questions or tips to ask@thisisahammer.com, or write This Is a Hammer, c/o King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475. (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc.

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For Advertising Call Dan at (970) 658-6347 “I remember this day 19 years ago when I was in high school,” Newman said. “He was an inspiration for me. He was part of the reason why I chose to (study engineering) and follow through with my racing career at the same time.” Newman earned his degree, in vehicle structural engineering, from Purdue University.

King Features Weekly Service

MARTINSVILLE, Va. — Martinsville Speedway races tend to be won by acknowledged masters of NASCAR’s shortest track, but it wasn’t too much of a surprise that the latest to visit the .526-mile track’s victory lane for the first time was Ryan Newman. In his career, Newman, from South Bend, Ind., has won at the Sprint Cup level 16 times. Those 16 victories have occurred at 11 different tracks. “I think there are 42 other drivers who say this place owes them one,” Newman said after winning the Goody’s Fast Relief 500. “That’s the nature of this paper-clip race track.” The sharp curves at each end of NASCAR’s oldest track set Martinsville apart. The race was already in overtime when the top three cars — driven by Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson and Clint Bowyer — crashed in the first turn of the 505th lap. Newman managed to avoid the melee and held off A.J. Allmendinger to win a

since September 2011 in New Hampshire. That was his 49th career pole. He qualified fifth at Martinsville. “We were not a dominant race car,” Newman said, “but we put ourselves in contention and pulled it off.” Newman’s victory occurred exactly 19 years after Alan Kulwicki, the 1992 Winston Cup champion, perished in a plane

April 9, 2012

Newman’s Own

race that eventually ran 15 laps past its scheduled distance. Newman, 34, joked when asked about the diverse nature of his victories. “I just try to spread them out,” he quipped. “I could win a bunch of races, but for me it’s more important to just kind of spread it out and let other guys win once in a while.

has won NASCAR 16 Sprint Cup races at 11 different tracks in his career. (John Clark/NASCAR This Get The New 2012 Week photo) Gear For Your Favorite Driver crash. Like Newman, Kul- Monte Dutton covers “What do you want me to motorsports for The Gassay? That’s just the way it all wicki earned an engineering & Team. ton (N.C.) Gazette. E-mail works.” degree in college. Kulwicki at nascarthisweek@ Newman is well known was, in fact, the only Cup 257-D East 29th St. Loveland champion to date with a Monte yahoo.com. for his qualifying prowess, © 2012 King Features Synd., Inc. though he hasn’t won a pole four-year college degree. Orchards Shopping Center Ryan Newman racked up his first Martinsville victory on March 31. The Purdue graduate

Get The New 2012 NASCAR Gear For Your Favorite Driver & Team. 257-D East 29th St. Loveland Orchards Shopping Center PAW’S CORNER By Sam Mazzotta

Getting the Poop on Poop-Eating DEAR PAW’S CORNER: I recently read an article that said to use Super B complex to stop stool eating in dogs. Have you heard of this? My veterinarian has not. If so, what is the dosage? The article I read referred to golden retrievers, but my dogs weigh 35 to 45 pounds. I don’t want to overdose them. -- Dianne E., via email DEAR DIANNE: Poop-eating, known scientifically as copraphagia, is a troublesome habit in which dogs will sniff and eat their own stools or those of other animals. As you can imagine, this behavior is not only disgusting but potentially unhealthy. And it sure makes you not want to kiss your dog. Copraphagia is such a big problem that there are entire websites devoted to it. Vernon Lee’s dogpoopdiet.com is one such site. It’s clearly laid out and offers plenty of information both on possible causes of the behavior -- from health issues to attention-seeking -- and ways to deter it.

As far as giving your dog a B complex supplement, it appears to address the possibility that a dog is not getting enough of certain nutrients, including vitamin B, which is leading to his behavior. B vitamins are found naturally in foods like liver, kidney, heart, eggs and kelp, and in ingredients like yeast and wheat germ. Pet stores and health-food stores both sell B complex supplements for both humans and dogs. The vitamin supplement is water-soluble and tends to break down quickly when exposed to air or water, so according to some advocates, an overdose is unlikely. However, you should check dosage rates for your dogs through their vet, or a holistic practitioner, or by searching on the Internet or visiting manufacturers websites for recommended amounts. Send your questions or pet care tips to ask@ pawscorner.com, or write to Paw’s Corner, c/o King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475. For more pet care-related advice and information, visit www. pawscorner.com.

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life involved burning gum olibani, styrae, myrrh and a variety of herbs, then inhaling the fumes, while at the same time “imbibing the exhalations of the nearest little girl.”

• It was beloved American humorist Will Rogers who made the following sage observation: “You can’t say civilization don’t advance, for in every war they kill you a new way.” • Elkhart, Ind., has the dubious distinction of being the RV capital of the world. • According to a survey by the magazine Vegetarian Times, if you’re a vegetarian, you have 3 percent of the U.S. population for company. Only half of 1 percent of Americans are vegans, consuming no animal products at all, while 10 percent say they follow a “vegetarianinclined” diet. • The Hawaiian alphabet has only 12 letters. • In 1743 one Dr. John Cohausen wrote a book called “Hermippus Redivivus,” in which he described how anyone could live to the ripe old age of 115 -- a particularly impressive feat in the 18th century. His recipe for a long

• Those who study such things say that the asteroids are so rich in minerals that one cubic kilometer of one of these heavenly bodies would provide the materials to make enough steel to supply the world’s industry for more than a decade, with more than a century’s worth of nickel, to boot. • The shortest complete sentence in the English language is “Go.” • If you’re like half of all Americans, you live within 50 miles of your childhood home. *** Thought for the Day: “If you live to the age of a hundred, you’ve got it made, because very few people die past the age of a hundred.” -- George Burns

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G lfBits (970) 658-6347•TidbitsWeekly4You.com

Magic Maze

Answers 1. Cliff Curtis of the Boston Braves (1910-11), Matt Keough of the Oakland A’s (1978-79) and Jo-Jo Reyes of the Toronto Blue Jays (2008-11), all with 28. 2. Tied for sixth, with 49 home runs in 1987. 3. Shaun Alexander had 41 rushing TDs (199699). 4. Tom Chambers, Dale Ellis and Xaxier McDaniel. 5. Three (1998, 2002 and 2006). 6. Six feet, 7 1/2 inches. 7. Gary Player (1961, ‘74, ‘78) and Trevor Immelman (2008).

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• According to the law in the town of Chester, England, if you catch a Welshman within the city walls after the sun has gone down, you may shoot him with a longbow.

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Trivia Answers 1. Edgar Degas (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc. 2. Throat 3. A bat 4. Rhode Island 5. “Love and Marriage” by BIBLE TRIVIA Frank Sinatra ANSWERS: 1) Neither, 2) 6. Jack Nicholson Phoebe, 3) Timothy, 4) Rome, 5) 7. Bulova watches Serpent, 6) Tongue 8. Avignon, France 9. Pierce Brosnan (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc. 10. President Harry Truman (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc.

Summer Camps 2012 When it comes to picking out a summer camp, the choices are nearly endless: residential for girls or boys, adventure, academic, religious, special interest, special needs and more. A typical camp’s offerings might include sailing, riflery, wind surfing, rowing, kayaking, arts and crafts, drama, camp craft, archery, tennis, soccer, softball, swimming, diving, canoeing, kickball, English horseback riding and a ropes course. Others have waterskiing, dance (contemporary, ballet, jazz), plant identification and tracking, woods camping, photography, pottery ... and more. To get started in your hunt for a summer camp for your child, go to the Camp Page [www.camppage.com] and put your information in the drop-down lists. You have a choice between Search via camp activity, such as horseback, art, sports, academic or computer. Then search for your state. Or go to www.chooseacamp.com and select a camp by activity category. Each camp link gives the phone number and web address of the camp for more information. If you need assistance paying for summer camp, search online for the name of your state and campership. You’ll find a great many camps that offer fully

or partially paid camperships. Additionally, there are foundations and grant programs that give money every year for children to go to camp. On the local level, investigate low cost or free sleep-away or day camp experiences through your YMCA (look for different theme weeks to match your child’s interests), Salvation Army, garden and environmental groups, town, Scouts and church. If you also have time off (or there’s a grandparent who will fill in), ask about volunteering as a way of defraying expenses, perhaps in the kitchen or as a crafts or sports assistant. If all else fails and there is no way to afford camp, band together with parents in a similar situation and create your own. Arrange for the campers to spend one day a week at a different house with theme activities hosted by the parents based on their talents, or field trips to local sites such as a farm or museum. Make one night a camp out in the yard. Hot dogs, S’mores, sleeping bags, flashlights — and ghost stories — are all you’ll need. If you’re able to donate, the money you send to local camps will allow children to have the camp experience even though it’s not in the family budget. David Uffington regrets that he cannot personally answer reader questions, but will incorporate them into his column whenever possible. Write to him in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to columnreply@gmail.com. © 2012 King Features Synd., Inc.

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