Page 1

November 2008


Mellow Magazine

Inside This Month

Dear Liz Driving In Spain Classified Adverts Safety & Security Tips Learn Spanish With Nik Lest We Forget - Evacuation Easy Christmas Cake Recipe Tips For The Airport Check - In Desk


From The Editor

Hello and welcome to our 24th edition of Mellow Magazine which is quite an amazing achievement really when I think back to the many people who said we’d only be around for two or three months. And how we’ve grown bigger and better, too! Next month will see the start of our third year. Thank you to our advertisers and we continue to wish them all every success in their chosen business. Thank you to each and every reader for picking up your copy every month and for using the services of our advertisers. I’d also like to thank Matthew and Shannon, my children, for their love and continuing support and assistance. Sincere thanks to Jerry for his help and guidance on both a professional and personal level . I’d also like to thank our many overseas readers who get their copy online from our website. They come from as far away as Canada, South Africa and Sweden amongst other countries; giving a special mention to John and Arwen, and Cynthia and Ian over in Bonnie Scotland! Please note that the office has a new land line telephone number. We can always be reached by mobile phone as well. Go along and try the new Wednesday Charity Auctions taking place at The Royal Carvery - they’re even bringing back tea dances for those who’d like a bit of nostalgia. The Thursday night quiz has returned to CJ’s. Many places are also planning their Christmas events now. There are a few fund raising events going on around the area in the near future to help a sick baby girl, some of which are mentioned in the Charities page. Please go along and give your support In fact, there is so much going on that I should stop writing and let you get on with reading it all for yourself. Take care and I’ll be back next month.

Lorraine xxx

Each magazine is available online. To read or download a copy go to our website at You can also see the local weather forecast, check flight arrivals & departures., look at the “What's On” guide to check out local events. Don't forget, as an advertiser you can add your own planned events to the listings - Call Jerry for more information on doing this. If you’d like to submit a short story, poem, recipe or even an article that you think may interest other readers please contact us on the telephone numbers below or by email, also supplied below. Office hours 965 638 359 (10 - 6) Jeremy 647 597 319 Lorraine 607 489 815 Please note the closing date for receipt of adverts is the 15th of the preceding month. The Mellow Magazine accepts no responsibility for services, work or goods provided by any of our advertisers. This magazine must not be reproduced or used for any purpose without first obtaining written permission. 3

Dear Liz Remember if you have any problem that you feel Liz can help with please don’t hesitate to drop her a line or an email. Her contact details are Liz Mellow, Aptdo 1301, Coveta Fuma, El Campello 03560, Alicante Or email Liz at Dear Liz, I am married to a Spaniard. I met him 5years ago when I was on holiday here. We have 2 young children aged 3 and 18months.We live near his family who are OK but I can't speak much Spanish and feel isolated when we visit them. My problem is that since our last baby was born I have gone off sex and recently my husband I know has felt rejected and retaliates by getting angry so much so he has become very violent and I am frightened for my safety. We have tried to talk about this but it doesn't seem to help. He as yet has never hit the children but I am frightened for them as they get older. Can you advise me? Paula. Dear Paula, Thank you for your letter. Domestic violence is on the increase here and Alicante has one of the worst records for this very serious problem so much so there has been a massive publicity campaign in recent years. The important thing is that it is not acceptable for any man to hit a women and zero tolerance is the only answer. You sound as though you are quite isolated and your inability to speak the language does not help. However, help is around; as like in the UK Women's Refuges are being developed all the time. Counsellors are also available; if you contact me for addresses. Your GP may also be able to help with the sexual problems which are not unusual post child birth. Now is decision time and you may have to take drastic steps to promote safety for you and your children who are like you in a vulnerable position. I think one course of action would be to contact the Police if this happens again and take out a Restraining Order. If you and your husband want to get help through Marriage Counselling then you can contact me again. Take care of yourself and your children and keep safe! Liz Do not keep the alabaster box of your friendship sealed up until your friends are dead. Fill their lives with sweetness. Speak approving, cheering words while their ears can hear them, and while their hearts can be thrilled and made happier. The kind of things you mean to say when they are gone, say before they go. 4

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GORDON BROWN was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr. BROWN if he would like to lead the discussion on the word tragedy'. So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a ‘tragedy'. A little boy stood up and offered: ‘If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field & a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy.’ ‘No.’ Said GORDON. ‘ That would be an accident.’ A little girl raised her hand: ‘If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.’ ‘I'm afraid not.’ Explained GORDON. ‘That's what we would call great loss.’ The room went silent. No other children volunteered. GORDON searched the room. ‘Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?’ Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand... In a quiet voice he said: ‘If a plane carrying you and Mr. DARLING was struck by a ‘friendly fire’ missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.’ ‘Fantastic!’ Exclaimed GORDON. ‘That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?’ Little Johnny replied, ’Well, it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a bloody accident either!' **************************************** Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait." Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait." About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her." "No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either." "Why not?" Asked the son. "Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother." 7

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Safety And Security Tips Diversions take many forms, too numerous to describe here. They all have one thing in common though; at some point the victim’s attention will be diverted away from his/her belongings. Busy supermarket car parks and motorway service areas are breeding grounds for this type of activity. The following scenario is typical. The thieves operate in pairs. They loiter nonchalantly until a suitable target returns to his/ her motor car carrying items of shopping, a handbag, a briefcase, whatever. At the point where the victim unlocks and opens the vehicle, often the boot or a rear door, the presentable front man will make a polite approach. He will suggest, for example, that he’s noticed something hanging from the under-body or thinks fluid is leaking from the engine. The victim naturally abandons the loading process and joins the public-spirited individual in a visual examination. Yes you’ve guessed! Satisfied nothing is seriously wrong, the victim re-focuses to find that the car has been rifled. From a police view-point these crimes are problematic. Even if the victim manages to provide a good description and the front man is traced, he will obviously disassociate himself with the thief. From a preventative point of view vigilance is the only answer. If you are approached anywhere by a complete stranger, even in genuine circumstances, get into the habit of scanning your surroundings immediately. There is no need for a triple toe-loop, just look over your shoulder. If there is anyone else nearby that you don’t recognise, don’t respond, hold your nerve and walk or drive off. Once you’ve eye-balled the accomplice the situation will dissolve anyway. In a similar vein, when driving on an isolated road especially at night, always carry your mobile telephone and never stop your car on the signal of a civilian. Pass him/ her at a speed that allows you to assess the situation. Even if your vehicle is nudged don’t stop until you’re certain the collision is genuine. Next month; Mugging. By Michael Knowles – e-mail:



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Quiz Break

Solve the answers to the clues. The number is how many letters are in the answer; and the letter is the last letter of the answer. Example : change the lime to go the distance, 4E Answer = mile. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31.

Decapitate the peach to give one per person, 4H U rage for the conflict, 5E One over the eight, 4E The drink of the Gods, 6R Is it to magic the dawn, 4D It’s not hers in church, 5S The exchange rates will make you cry,5S The bread is hard at least, 5E Turn this way, it’s not wrong, 5T I bleed to make the food worthy, 6E Rove above, 4R Move the stone to the film location, 5T Made the cheese, 4M Do you play golf in a circle, 5D The eighth one had eight wives, 5Y This lout isn’t regal, 5R What word can go before or after Gang, Daisy and Mail, 5N It’s full of fruit trees, 7D File your forefinger, 5X Change the thing when the day is over, 5T If you are this, you need more exercise, 5T The backward boy is out of control, 3B The angel moves 45º to go fishing, 5E A dull pain, 4E What word can go before or after Golf, Cuff and Up, 5S Dial up and get prone, 4D Have a cigar in a small village, 6T Throw the loaf for a small horse, 4L What word can go before or after Boxing, Free or Kick, 4K Are you called mean, 4E I take away from the ideal to get a great exchange, 4L All of the 31 first letters of the answers make up an anagram of eight words of 4,4,2,4,4,1,5 and 7 letters. The clue is ‘Don’t cheat on the lady.’ The answer can be found on page 28. Thanks to Sheila Harris for sending us the Quiz Break each month.

You know it's going to be a bad day when...

You put your bra on backwards and it fits better. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles. The woman you've been seeing on the side begins to look like your wife. The boss tells you not to bother taking off your coat. 11

Understanding Your Computer Back to Basics: The keyboard - 2 Last month we looked at the QWERTY part of the keyboard. This month we will look at the rest of it. Firstly you need to realise that many keyboards have non-standard keys on them such as keys which control the web or music playing software. We will not be covering these are there are simply too many of them (and Lorraine will shout at me for filling the entire magazine). Last month we divided the keyboard into the QWERTY section (), the numeric pad, the cursor control keys and the function keys. So, on to the numeric pad. This is the section of the keyboard (which is not found on a standard laptop keyboard) over to the right of the keyboard. It has two functions. Primarily it is a means of entering number and mathematical symbols (+, -, = etcetera) for rapid number input. The layout for this is straightforward with perhaps two exceptions; the divide symbol is the slash (/) and the multiply symbol is the asterisk (*). This is function is access by ensuring that the “Num Lock” is on. This is often signified by means of a light often with a padlock with a number 1 in the middle symbol. If the “Num Lock” is off you access the alternative function of the numeric pad which is as a precursor to the cursor control keys in that it mimics these keys as indicated on the keys below the numbers. As this function IS a mimic of the cursor keys we will not cover this now but in the next section. This function can also be access when the Num Lock is on by pressing the shift key. So the cursor keys. Firstly I would say that these are probably the most underused keys on the board. Most people seem to use the mouse when a cursor movement my well be quicker. So firstly a comment on layout; unfortunately not all “standard” keyboards seem to have the exact same layout so you may need to look a bit at them initially until you get used to the particular layout on your keyboard. This is particularly the case for laptops when finding some of the cursor control keys can be a bit of a challenge. This section can be subdivided still further into two parts the 4 “cursor keys” and the 6 other keys (there is not really a good way to describe these 6 as a group as their functions are quite diverse). The 4 cursor keys are fairly self-explanatory in that they move the insertion point cursor (the point on the screen at which text is to be inserted if typed, not the mouse cursor). By themselves they move the cursor one character or row at a time. This function is enhanced by the key modifiers mentioned last month, for a list of some of these enhancements see the summary table below. The “other” keys are quite different in their functions, but we can pair them up for ease of explanation. Firstly the “Page Up” (Pg Up or Re Pág on Spanish keyboards), this is like the “Up” cursor key on steroids. It moves a “Page” or screenful at a time. Similarly the “Page Down” (Pg Dn or Av Pág) moves a page down. Then the “Home” and “End” (Inicio and Fin) keys which are like the left and right cursor keys on steroids moving to the beginning or end of a line or document (depending on whether or not you press a key modifier). These 4 keys along with the cursor keys can be modified to select (mark for editing or formatting) text or items by pressing the shift key. A full summary of the keys and some of the actions with key modifiers is shown in the table below. 12

Key Left

Shift Continue selection left

Control One word left

Continue selection right

One word right Start of line Start of next line down Start of document End of document Previous edit location Next edit location


One character left One character right One line up One line down Start of line

Continue selection to start of line


End of line

Continue selection to end of line

Page Up

Up one screen

Continue selection up one screen

Page Down

Down one screen

Continue selection down one screen

Right Up Down

Continue selection up Continue selection down

In this section, finally, let’s look at the Del (Delete or Supr in Spanish) and Insert (Ins or Insert in Spanish) keys. The Del key is like the Backspace key mentioned last month in that it deletes characters or words, however, in this case it is to the right of the cursor. By pressing the Control key modifier the key then deletes a word to the right (a word in this context means any collection of characters up to and including the next space). The insert key is known as a toggle key in that the same button switches on or off (toggles) a characteristic. In this case the characteristic is to insert characters at the cursor or overwrite (replace with). The final section consists of the Function keys. There are usually 12 of these and their “function” is dependant on the particular context in which they are being used. For example, pressing the “F1” function key in a Microsoft package such as Word will start the Help program, pressing “F2” will allow editing of a cell in Excel. There is no real pattern or standard to their function, however, these two keys are the most commonly use for these particular functions in many packages. You simply need to read the instructions that come with the software you purchase. There are other keys to be found on a standard keyboard (“Prt Scr”, “Scroll Lock”, “SysRq”, etcetera) but you are unlikely to ever use them. If you are interested, visit the website listed last month and those below to find out what they do. Next month we will be looking at the second human interface device, the mouse. Believe me there is more to this device than meets the finger!! Thanks to Steve from SandS Computers for his articles. For further help and advice please see their advert on page 10. 13

Never on a Friday Man has done many strange things for the sake of luck


ot only was the ship called the Friday, but its keel was laid on a Friday and, for good measure, it was commanded by a Captain Friday. The British Admiralty had decided to expose the absurdity of one of the Royal Navy’s most cherished superstitions—that Friday is an unlucky day. Their plans might well have worked. But on its maiden voyage—on a Friday—the ship disappeared with all hands. No trace was ever found. The Admiralty has consistently denied that this story is true, but their denials are unimportant; generations of British seamen have accepted every word of it. For superstition cannot be overcome by logic. In many cases it is a survival from those primitive religions in which man worshipped the wild elements in the pious hope that they might help him in his struggle for survival. For instance, touching wood for luck reflects early man’s belief that every natural object—a tree, for example—was inhabited by a particular god. The significance once attached to fire and iron lingers on today with the carrying of a piece of coal or a small replica horseshoe as a good-luck charm. To spill salt meant misfortune, because for centuries it was the only means of preserving meat in the winter. To primitive peoples it was essential that the home was blessed with kindly spirits. The focal point was the hearth, the part of the house where, according to the Romans, household gods lived. In Western Europe, the fireplace, or inglenook, was thought to be the home of the ‘brownies’ and other fairies who brought good luck to the household. Some even thought they helped with the chores. It was unwise to offend the fairies. In their attempts to appease the spirits, housewives in the Western Isles of Scotland would leave part of the fire burning in the hearth to keep the fairies warm through the night. When a family moves to a new home, it is still traditional in some parts of Britain to take the embers from the old fireplace and burn them in a new one. Housewarming parties are a development of this old custom.

Kitchen Folklore

Superstition also dominated a woman’s work in the kitchen. Some housewives believe a meal will be spoilt if the food is stirred ‘widdershins’—that is, against the sun’s course. In order not to offend hens and so stop them laying, no egg shells were thrown on the fire. No implement has more superstitious connections than the knife. Made of iron, it was thought to be a protection against evil of many kinds. This may stem from a time long ago when people armed with weapons of stone or bronze were easily overcome by sharp-edged—and apparently magical—swords of iron. Another belief is that if two knives are crossed on a table, a quarrel is indicated unless they were uncrossed by a second person. Article supplied by Robert Littler 14



Useful Telephone Numbers

El Campello

Casa de Cultura Post Office (Correos) Ad. Education Centre Town hall Tourist Information Colegio Pla de Barraques Colegio Rafael Altamira Instituto Enric Valor Guardia Civil Policía Local Suma Office

965636491 Hospital San Juan 965938700 965630318 Health Centre 965637106 965632927 Taxis 965101611 965637200 Railway Station 965262731 965634606 Instituto Clot L’illot 965632854 965631601 Colegio El Vincle 965632790 965630142 Instituto Clot L’illot 965632854 965636455 965630418 / 062 965637099 / 965634444 965636255 / 965636193

Busot Health Centre Social worker Police /Policia

965699487 Casa de Cultura 965698030 Town Hall 965698181/607385522

965698072 965699092

965894250 965891698 965890050 966859800 965894545

966850500 966851001 965891143 66851371

Villajoyosa Casa de Cultura Library Municipal Police Hospital Marina Baixa Taxis

Post Office Town Hall Guardia Civil Tourist Info

Alfaz del Pi/Albir Alfaz Town Hall Alfaz Health Centre Tourist Info Alfaz Aguagest (Water) Alfaz Local Police (Alfaz)

965885265 Taxis (Alfaz/Albir) 965889894 Albir Health Centre 965888905 Tourist Info Albir 965889102 965887100/7200

966810010 966864110 966867022

Transport Alicante Airport Alicante Bus Station

966919400 965130700

Renfe 902240202 Alsa (Coaches) 902422242

Other Numbers Telefonica (client attention) All Emergencies British Consulate Iberdrola (Electricity) Aguas de Alicante (Water)

1004 112 965216022 965632067 / 901202020 965637248 / 900717717


Lest We Forget- News From Yesteryear

Compiled By Robert Littler

September 2nd. 1939 – One of the Blackest of Black incidents in Britain’s 20th.

Century History.

A long day for them. Children with their gas masks and their luggage labeled, rest before their evacuation.

“The Children Have All Behaved Marvelously”

THE greatest organised movement of a human population in the world’s history started yesterday. As if by some quiet smooth-working machine, nearly 1,000,000 children, mothers, blind and maimed people were taken from danger to safety. In three days - perhaps less - 3,000,000 will have made the journey across the invisible frontier. Thousands of households all over Britain yesterday welcomed small strangers who were to be for a time members of the family. Most homes in the evacuated areas were adapting themselves bravely to a sadder change which had robbed them of their children. London has lost much of its laughter. Nearly half of the 3,000,000 are being evacuated from the Greater London area. The rest are from the naval and shipping areas and the industrial districts of the Midlands, North, and Scotland. Everywhere the task of moving this enormous number of children was carried out with great ease, owing to the thorough preparation and the cooperation of officials, parents, and children. And officials everywhere said “the children behaved simply marvelously.” Evacuation seems far too long and clumsy a word for such a swift, quiet operation. “Flit” would be better. In London the Great Flit began at dawn. Nearly 200 children from three to 13, awakened in the middle of the night, were taken by their parents to Myrdle Street 18

School, Commercial-road, E. - the first place to start the evacuation. Then all over the affected areas of our country, boys and girls, accompanied in many cases by their parents, made their way to their schools, for the great adventure. Each had a label tied to the coat, was given a gas-mask, and a supply of food for the journey. Meanwhile, the whole transport system of London had been reorganised. Drivers and conductors of tube trains, trams, and buses had all been given special instructions. Many main roads were made “one-way� streets for the occasion. The flit began. By tens, hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, the children started off to their unknown destinations. From every school filed a procession of boys and girls, each led by a master or other official wearing an armlet. Some filed through the streets to an underground railway station, where they took their places in an empty train which set off at once to some mainline terminus where they were transferred to an ordinary train. Others clambered on to a line of buses.

For them, The War Had Begun NB.A follow up to this story will appear in

a later edition of the magazine outlining one disastrous outcome of this massive breakup of families. Our sincere thanks go to Robert for his articles each month. There's one sad truth in life I've found While journeying east and west The only folks we really wound Are those we love the best. We flatter those we scarcely know, We please the fleeting guest, And deal full many a thoughtless blow To those who love us best. ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox


What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L MN O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 1213 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 2122 23 24 25 26. Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K will be 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E will be 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% But, A-T -T-I-T-U-D-E becomes 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T makes 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S - K-I-S-S-I-N-G adds up to 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7= 118% So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top. 20




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24 Please tell our advertisers you saw them in the Mellow Magazine

Driving In Spain When driving in HEAVY RAIN reduce your speed, and put your wipers on full. Consider putting your blower on to reduce misting. Use dipped beam, and use your rear high intensity light if conditions are bad. The rain will affect the grip of your tyres on the road. Contrary to belief, antilock braking systems (abs) do not increase the grip of the tyres on the road, nor can it prevent skidding. In some circumstances it can stop you within a shorter distance, but when slippery it could in fact increase the distance. Abs allows you to steer during harsh braking, by sensing the slowing down of the wheels, and releasing them before they lock up. It reapplies the brakes once the wheels start to turn again. In principle the wheels should never lock, but on slippery surfaces the wheels may not turn immediately the braking pressure is released, allowing momentary lock-up which may result in a skid. If you need to apply the abs, maintain maximum brake pressure throughout, even if it means stalling when you come to a halt. A skid is almost always the result of a drivers actions, changing direction or speed too harshly for the road conditions. REAR WHEEL SKID foot off the accelerator, or dip clutch and foot off the accelerator (do not declutch if have traction control), steer in the direction of the skid, until the rear stops sliding. Gently steer back on course. Do not over-steer or the vehicle may skid the other way. FRONT WHEEL SKID the worst type of skid, foot off the accelerator or dip clutch and foot off the accelerator, steer in the direction of the skid until you regain grip. If your speed was excessive there may not be enough room to regain direction. FOUR WHEEL SKID foot off the brake except if you have abs, foot off the accelerator or dip clutch and foot off the accelerator, this allows the wheels to rotate so the tyres can grip and steer in the direction you want to go. AQUAPLANING can be frightening, and is where a wedge of water builds up between the front tyres and the road .There is no response to braking or steering so foot off the accelerator or dip the clutch and foot off the accelerator to lose speed. Do not steer when aquaplaning as when the tyres regain their grip, you will go in the direction which your wheels are pointing. Aquaplaning occurs around 50-55mph, depending on the depth of your tread. DRIVING THROUGH DEEP WATER select first gear and keep the revs high by slipping the clutch to avoid water entering the exhaust. With automatics, use the brake whilst keeping the revs up. Drive slowly to avoid making a bow wave. When leaving the water, brake gently with your left foot until they grip. STRONG WINDS slow down to reduce the force of the air going under the vehicle and causing it to lift off the road, therefore reducing grip and steering. BE SAFE! Thank you to Tony Baxter for writing Driving In Spain. Tony uses his skills and expertise to help people improve their driving here on the Costa Blanca. See his advert on page 7. 25

The Airport It’s no secret that going on holiday or even just a short trip back to the UK can actually be quite stressful, but what about that last little step that seems to frighten many people - the airport check in! How to get through an airport check in without hassle is in essence a well kept secret but hopefully these tips will help your trip to begin more smoothly. 1. Check your weight and your passport! It is so easy to forget to check the validity of your passport prior to booking your flights. If renewal is needed please allow plenty of time to receive your new passport from the passport office or from the Embassy if you are living abroad. It must be valid for at least the duration of your trip and for some countries it must be valid for a certain length of time after your return. Before you arrive at the airport make sure you check and double check how much luggage you are allowed to have and how much you have actually got. If you are travelling with a lost cost airline check how much luggage you have paid for. If you know you will need to pay for more bags, or that your bags are too heavy, then check what the airport costs are rather than the web costs or you may be in for a nasty surprise. If you need to, then ask an agent at a manned check in desk if you can weigh your bags. As long as they haven’t got a queue they shouldn’t mind. 2. Check your flight times. If you’re late the plane wont wait! That is pure fact. The general rule is to arrive at the airport 2 hours before your flight goes. This is good advice because this time will allow for any queues and heightened security checks. If you’re in a rush then check how long it is before your flight departs that your check in will close. These are different for each airline. 3. Get in the right queue. You’d be amazed how many passengers fall at this hurdle. Know what our flight number is and when it is departing. Use the information screens like your airport Bible. They will tell you where you need to be; and if you are unsure then ask someone. 4. Be polite at the check in desk. Remember they have your passport and if you’re rude to them you wont get it back. Answer their questions without making any inappropriate remarks - they really can land you in serious trouble. But do have a chat and a joke with the check in agent - it’ll brighten their day. And woe behold anyone who dares to approach a check in desk using their mobile phone! 5. Know what you are not allowed to carry on board. Security is not easy to get through if you don’t know what you’re doing. If it’s sharp, pressurised or flammable, don’t take it on board. When going through security remove everything from your pockets and take off belts and watches. If you bleep, don’t argue, and wear comfortable shoes because you may be asked to remove them. 26

6. Know what gate you need. Gates change, so regularly check where you need to be and what time you need to be there, as shown on your boarding card. And be there! Listen for boarding and gate change announcements. If in doubt find someone and ask. 7. Watch your alcohol. Once you’ve got rid of your bags and have your boarding card in your hand it is tempting to have a drink. There is no problem with this but remember to do so in moderation. It is illegal to be drunk on board an aircraft and if you do attempt to board your flight drunk you will not only be off-loaded, but also arrested. 8. Don’t spend too much money. The appeal of the tax free shopping centre that hits you as you pass security may well be strong, but you can also lose track of time. Keep an eye on the clock and remember the plane will not wait. And finally.... 9. Have a nice flight. Once you are on that plane, all the stress of the airport is over until your return journey. So sit back, relax and enjoy your flight!


Memory Test Three old men at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three"? "274" was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three"? "Tuesday" replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "OK, Your turn. What's three times three ? "Nine" says the third man. "That's great" says the doctor. "How did you get that"? "Simple" says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday".

Answers To Quiz Break Ed. Pescadores C/ San Bartolomé, 128

LEXIS idiomas

(entrance in C/ San Fransisco)

03560 El Campello

New Spanish Classes Enrolling Now

At Lexis we focus on helping you with spoken Spanish while not neglecting the grammar, so you learn more quickly as well as more easily. Most classes are held in the morning from 9 to 10:30 or from 10 to 11:30, twice a week Office Hours Monday & Wednesday Mornings 09:00 to 13:30 Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs Evenings 17:00 to 20:30 Telephone 965 63 66 96

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16.

Each Argue Nine Nectar Wand Hymns Tears Stale Right Edible Over Onset Edam Round Henry Lager

17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31.

Chain Orchard Index Night Unfit Yob Angle Ache Links Laid Hamlet Foal Kick Name Deal

Answer : Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

Feeling Old? Remember when....... You were passing your driving test....... Now it’s a case of passing your eyesight test! Remember when....... You were popping pills and smoking joints....... Nowadays it’s popping joints. Remember when....... You had long hair....... Oh dear, these days how you long for hair!!! 28


Charities, Clubs And Events Asociacion Protectora de Animales El Campello has a charity shop on Avda Germanies which is open Mon - Sat 10am - 2pm. Tel. 965 633 547, 24 Hr. Emergency number 687 398 507. To adopt a dog call Eve on 965 699 028. For more info about APAC contact Ian on 965 634 899 or 677 993 649 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS offers free help to anyone with a drinking problem. English & International meetings are held throughout the Costa Blanca from Valencia City to Murcia. AA Costa Blanca North: 648 16 90 45 AA Costa Blanca South: 625 912 078All calls treated in the strictest confidence. Spanish: 96 521 9471, Flemish: 635 047 053 German: 645 456 075, Scandinavian: 659 779 222 Meeting details can be found at: BUSOT BOOT SALE, November 2nd. 9am - 2pm ( Setup from 8am). Booking essential, Table fee Proceeds to Abandoned Animal care. Location: Balconias, Casa De Cultura, Busot. (Rear of TONOS and CASA Restaurants) Call Sally 636518268, Richard 639050128 or email Busot Ladies Club, Casa de Cultura Meet Mondays 10am - 1pm. Lots of activities to suit everyone. For more information contact Mary on 965 699 291 or email to Sunday,2nd November Craft Fair & FUN morning, home made cake stall, rastro tables, raffle, tombola and more. All funds to go to CIBELES, the 2 month old girl from Busot with cancer. 150,000 is needed for her treatment in a Madrid hospital. Radiotherapy for 1 year and when she is 12 months the doctors will decide whether to amputate the foot. Mutxamiel, Campello and Busot town halls are supporting the cause. 3rd November Cake decorating with Angela. 10th November FASHION SHOW evening doors open 18.30 3 euros entrance includes glass of wine or beer. AGAIN the funds go to the child CIBELES 17th November Christmas cards sales with Jane Miller. 24th November Bonsai trees with Nora. Costa Blanca Anglican Chaplaincy, El Campello hold a church service on Sundays at 12.00 in the chapel behind the main church in the grounds of Salesianos school. Everyone welcome. If directions are needed please don't hesitate to contact Flavia on 666 002 519 or Liz on 965 652 845. Alternatively you can take a look at our website at Exercise Classes, Polideportivo, Busot. Ladies only Tuesdays and Thursdays 17.0018.00; Mixed class Tuesdays and Thursdays 18.00-19.00. Get fit, have fun! Only 1€ per class. Tel Beatrix on 965959195 or 618043582 HELP Campello, San Juan & district provides an English speaking voluntary service to provide mainly: interpreters for visits to doctors & hospitals (call Christina on 965 653 479) - some equipments like wheelchairs, crutches, walkers etc... for short term loan (call Vera on 965 633 332) - liaison with Servicios Sociales (call Françoise on 965 638 259). If you would like to volunteer to help, call Françoise! Rainbow Group Costa Blanca. Support group offering help and support for gay, lesbian and transsexuals. All age groups. Telephone 666 911 545 31 Please tell our advertisers you saw them in the Mellow Magazine

Charities, Clubs And Events

K9 Club are a registered charitable association and we are in desperate need of help in re-homing our animals. This year had been one of the worst for finding abandoned animals. Please visit our web site at Please note our K9 Club Charitable Association Number: CV-01-043388-A Second Chance Charity Shops support a number of world projects such as Sightsavers, Save the Children, 5 Kenyan orphans, Education for Life, a Spanish lady working in Romania with orphaned teenagers living in sewers, and more... The shops are as follows :- Albir - opening 10 -2 Mon - Sat. Alfaz del Pi - opening 9.30 - 1.30 Mon - Sat (Tel. 966 860 222) and Finestrat opening 10 - 2 Mon - Sat (Tel. 965 878 229). Sociedad Protectora de Animales y Plantas, Castalla runs a dog shelter near to Castalla International. For donations, sponsoring or volunteering please email or call the president Juan on 646 682 209 between 08.30 & 13.00 hrs (Spanish), Sue on 690 719 675 between 10.00 & 14.00 and 17.00 & 19.00 hrs (English & Spanish spoken) or Marilene on 965 562 085/669 755 920 between 10.00 & 14.00 and 17.00 & 19.00 hrs (Dutch, English & Spanish). The English Speaking Club, San Juan & District, Los Perales, Camino Real de Villajoyosa 22, El Campello. Tel. 965 943 995 or email Run by volunteers & with bar prices that can't be equalled. Open Wednesday & Sunday between 12 noon & 2.30pm. Come and find out about our available activities, including Line dancing, whist, art, quilting, quizzes, monthly dinner dance etc.


Villas Direct Spain

617 944 030

RELLONDO 5 Mins Airport, 5 Bed, 4 Bath. Plot 2,000 m2, House 300m2 525,000€ PETREL 8,5000 m2 orchard, villa in 2 apartments, scope for income off 1 264,500€ BAR FOR SALE FREEHOLD - Call for details 80,000€ JIJONA TOWN HOUSE 3 Bed 2 Bathrooms 189,000€ BUSOT 3 Bed, 2 Bath, 1,200 sq mtr plot, 150 sq mtr build, Pool 291,700€ RELLEU 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Apartment. Investment property with or without tenant 137,950€ RIO PARK 3 Bed, 2 Bath, house. Garage, communal pool, new property. 160,000€ CALA PITERES COVETA FUMA Mid Terrace Cottage. 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms. With patio & BBQ 196,000€ ALBAYNA Town House without garage. 3 Bed, 2 Bath, Small garden area 180,000€ TIBI 2 bed, 1 bath villa with 2 bed, 1 bath annexe, pool & grounds 199,000€ PUEBLO ESPAÑOL 2 Beds, 1 Bathroom Apartment. Sea views 209,000€ VALLE DEL SOL Poss B & B 11 Beds, 4 Baths, Pool, Grounds Reduced 465,000€ CAMPELLO BAR / RESTAURANT Freehold for sale 247,950€ RELLEU SMALL SHOP plus 3 bedrooms (en suite), lounge etc. 245,000€ PUEBLO ESPAÑOL 2 Bed 1 Bath Chalet Bargain 185,000€ JIJONA Semi-detached bungalow. 2 Beds, Sea Views Members’ Pool 139,950€ CAMPELLO BAR TRASPASO 10 year lease 70,000€ ALCOY BENIMAR. Mansion House. With Lodge. 2 Acres. Total seclusion. 6 Bedrooms, Cinema, Skating Rink, Maze 275,000€ SAN VICENTE 5 Bedroom, 3 Bathroom Pool, Detached, Quiet Area 399,500€ BUSOT 2000 sq mtr building plot 2 houses 235,000€

Selling/Renting Your Property? Call Us For The Best Rates Double Sudoku Fun

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7 6 3

8 4

6 9 8 7

1 2 3 2 1 7

9 3 4

9 8 1 2 5 7 8

7 1 8 3

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Learn Spanish With Nik I’ve been told that there are quite a few of you ready to take that big step and get married - casarse. So, it has been suggested that I say a little about weddings - bodas here in Spain. Where? - ¿Dónde? Well, around Alicante most couples-la mayoria de las parejas still choose a traditional wedding - una boda tradicional in church - en la iglesia but you could also get married in the town hall - el ayuntamiento or the courthouse - el juzgado. Obviously there’s bureaucracy - burocracia to deal with and, as a minimum, you will have to dig out your birth certificates - los certificados de nacimiento, your residence certificate - certificado de empadronamiento and a “certificate of no impediment to marriage” - un certificado de capacitación matrimonial/una declaración jurada de estado civil. If you have been divorced - divorciado or you are a widow - viuda or widower - viudo then you’ll also have to provide the relevant certificates to prove that you are free to get married again: a divorce decree - la justificación de divorcio or death certificate - certificado de defunción. For a wedding in a catholic church here you’ll also need your certificate of baptism - partido de bautizo among the papers. Prior to your church wedding the banns are published - se publican las amonestaciones. Just as in Britain this is done in case anyone knows of any impediment to the marriage - por si alguna persona conoce impedimentos para celebrar el matrimonio. As well as the basic paperwork the bride - la novia and the groom - el novio need to organize a handful of people to take part in the ceremony - ceremonia. You must have two witnesses - testigos whether you wedding is civil or in church. You don’t need to have anybody else but most of us choose to share the day with our families and friends. We can begin with los padrinos - usually the parents of the bride and groom - los novios. You may also want to have page boys - pajes and bridesmaids - damas de honor. The pajes are usually entrusted to carry the rings - los anillos and the arras to the altar. The “arras” are coins that symbolise the earthly goods - los bienes that the novios are going to share - compartir in their life together. Once you have your papers organized and you have chosen the people you want to take an active role in your wedding - la boda you will still have to plenty to do: You’ll have to decide who to invite? - ¿A quién invitar? Write a list - un listado! Then off to the printer’s - la imprenta to get your invitations - las invitaciones. Where is the reception going to be held? - ¿Dónde va a tener lugar el banquete? Choose a menu elegir el menú and the seating arrangements - organización de las mesas. You’ll have to go shopping - ir de compras for the wedding dress - el vestido de novia – with a veil - velo and train-cola? A suit for the groom - un traje para el novio. You’ll have to choose flowers - tendrás que elegir las flores and the wedding bouquets ramos de novia, have to be made up. It’s traditional to give a small gift - un detalle and cigars - puros to your guests. 34

Continued at the top of page 37.



You need to visit the travel agent - la agencia de viajes to organize the honeymoon la luna de miel. Is your passport - pasaporte up to date - en vigor? You’ll have to find a photographer - un fotógrafo and decide on what combination of photos and video you want. You may want to hire a car - alquiler un coche, or carriage - caruaje to get to and from the ceremony. And all this has to happen well before the big day – more on which next month! Thanks to Nik Dunne of Lexis Idiomas for his articles. See his advert on page 28.

Local Market Days



La Nucia

Santa Pola






El Campello








Alfaz del Pi





San Juan





La Nucia


Christmas Cake recipe Christmas will soon be upon us so if you haven’t already started planning for it then now is the time to do so. For me, one of the best parts of Christmas is the cake - rich and laced with brandy. Below is an easy recipe that I was given many years ago which I hope that many of you may find of useful. 12oz Soft brown sugar 12oz Butter or margarine 6 Eggs 1lb Currants 1lb Raisins 4oz Cherries 4oz Ground almonds or nut mix 1lb Plain flour 2 Tablespoons Treacle 1/2 Pint warm milk Large wine glass brandy, whisky or rum.

Soak fruit overnight in the alcohol, after warming it first. Beat butter and sugar to a cream. Add treacle and beat well. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each egg. Add the warm milk. Next add the fruit, ground almonds and flour alternately, stirring not beating. Bake in a slow oven at 300º / 150º - This will take approximately 2 hours for an eight inch square or round cake. Decorate to your liking with marzipan/icing/fruits & nuts etc. Picture from

Ponderings •

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?

Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?


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Classified Section Sales • • •

Golf 1992, 1.8, 5 Door. Spanish Reg. ITV April 09. Good Condition 1150€ Tel 965 638 736 7 pine tables 140cmX70cm, black steel legs plus 2 same 70X70.... Suit restaurant/ club etc €70 the lot or 10€ each. Call ANDY 965654299 Viagra - safe and effective Kamagra now supplied locally. 12 pills for 36€. Quantity Discounts, Utmost Discretion. Phone Roger 617550016

Wanted • •

• •

BOWLING WOODS WANTED we are new players and would like to purchase size 2 and size 3 Heavy woods. Please contact Annette or Phil Sykes. Tel 658692331 Rotavator in good working order. Needs to be Robust for the work I am going to ask it to do. Sensibly priced, preferably a Honda Engine. Mutxamel area... Telephone Brian 965221483 Electric Cement Mixer in good working order. for a reasonable price. For easy collection must live fairly local to Mutxamel. Telephone Brian 965221483 Car Boot Items - books, toys, clothes, bric-a-brac & baby items. Will collect. Tel. Sally on 635343867

Property Sales & Lets • •

• • • •

Sale or Rent. Fourth floor 2 bed flat in Jijona. Fully renovated, Mountain Views. 64,995€ (Private Sale) 679 056 626 2 bed modern villa for long/short rent. Immaculately presented near the picturesque village of Busot with panoramic mountain views together with distant views of Alicante. The property affords a communal pool area, ample secure parking, satellite television and sofa bed to accommodate an extra 2 people. Tel. 965221409 mobile 610087607 (Dec) Studio Casita to let in Busot. Newly refurbished 350€ Per month 650 071 278 Historic Townhouse, Villajoyosa, 5 min from sea. New roof, new electrics, new plumbing. Full escritura and legal! Price 100,000€ or reasonable offers accepted! Tel. 666911545 Room to let in Busot - 200€ per month 650 071 278 Restored Spanish Finca, beautiful location, simply Spanish. 5 bedrooms, pool needs some repair, grounds of 2,200mt. Needs to be seen! Fully legal offers around 240,000€. Many extras included! Tel for appointment viewing 666911545

Employment Offered/Wanted • •

Scottish lady lived in Altea now for 26 years seeks part time employment in reception 966885237 Looking for Sales Reps / Tele Sales commision base, euros plus euros in your pocket!! PART TIME SALES REPS working from home - or - sales reps. For more details please call 646 383 078

Classifieds continued on next page 41

Classified Section • • • • • • • • • • • •


Pedicure and foot massage in your own home. English qualified nurse with Orthopaedic Training. Campello area. Tel: 610 850 750 D.A.ARDLEY Antique restorer 46 Years/City & Guilds. Tel. 965 634 508 Dog Grooming. At your home or mine. Personal attention by Diane, 25 years experience. Tel. 609417110 or 663372403 Mechanic, former MOT tester. For all your ITV needs & repairs. Vehicles collected & delivered. Tel. 675485613 (Dec) Need help with your computer? Why not have lessons in your own home? Call Glynis on 965 638 149 / 687 221 258 for more information.” Losing Satellite Programmes? Fault finding service, Dish realignment, LNB replacement. 2nd Set Top Box s No card required for free to air sky. 75€ each. Call Bob 965221409 or Mobile 689291753 (Dec) Domestic Appliance & Electrical Repairs by experienced engineer. Washing Machines, Cookers, Microwaves etc. Tel. 965 960 665 / Mobile 687 625 642 (Aug) General Plumbing & Central Heating Installations & Repairs. Established since 1979. Phone Richard on Mobile 680 190 794 / Home 965 975 019 (Aug) Sexual Health testing! Assured Confidentiality, HIV/AIDS testing, counselling and support. Call 666911545 KEA cleaning services houses and apartments, cleaned to your standards. Daily, weekly monthly or changeovers. Tel. Sally on 635343867 General maintenance/Handyman available for general D.I.Y,garden tidies,pool cleaning.No job too small Contact Colin on 693580342. H C S OFFERS YOU !!Low Cost Heating Systems. Gives You A WARM Welcome Home At An Unbelievably low Price. Ultra slim design-just 17mm deep white panel. British product and are manufactured to conform with European safety standards and have CE approval. Call for a free no obligation quote & further information, PHILL 646 383 078 or Free counselling available. Trainee counsellor offering counselling sessions free of charge in Campello, as part of her training program in the UK. Personcentred, member of BACP. If you\'d like to talk, call me at 658 397 405

Musician’s Corner •

Guitar lessons (Alicante Centre), all styles of music. For details and appointments Contact Peter ("On The Run") on 689 272 699 or email

To advertise in the classified page call 647 597 319 or email to Alternatively, send them via the Private ads under 100€ are free online and will also appear in the magazine where space is available. Items over 100€ are charged at :6€ For up to 20 words, 9€ up to 30 words, 12€ up to 40 words. No pets/livestock ads can be accepted in the classified section. Payment must be made before ads appear.


Deadline for receipt/payment of ads - 15th of each month



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Profile for Mellow Media

Mellow Magazine November 2008  

A local magazine for the Costa Blanca

Mellow Magazine November 2008  

A local magazine for the Costa Blanca