Mellow Magazine Inside This Month Quiz Break PC Maintenance Learning Spanish News From Yesteryear Spainâ€™s Maddest Fiestas Inheritance Tax in Spain Jokes, Classified Ads & More...
From The Editor Hello to all our regular and new readers. Time seems to pass so quickly here in Spain - it doesn’t seem two minutes since we finished doing the last magazine and already it is May. Most of will remember last May when young Madeline McCann went missing. Her family are still very much in the news and in the thoughts and prayers of myself and millions around the world. I have been asked by EMAUS to thank the people of this region for their recent fund raising for the local childrens homes - they now have updated computer equipment, new bunk beds in the Alicante house, money toward the cost of school trips and they were even supplied with Easter eggs. Busot Ladies Club also thank everyone involved for their help and support. Again this month we have an increased number of classified ads for you to search for a bargain, and more new businesses advertising. The magazine is packed with articles, jokes and local information. Do let us know if there is anything else you would like to see and we will see what we can do. That’s it from me until next time. Lorraine...x Read the magazine online or download a copy at www.mellowmagazine.com. See the local weather forecast for the day or week. Check for flight arrivals and departures. Look at the “What's On” guide to check out local events. Don't forget, as an advertiser you can add your own planned events to the listings - Call Jerry for more information on doing this. If you have anything that you want to submit to us, be it a short story, poem, recipe or even an article that you feel may be of interest please contact us on the telephone numbers below or by email, also supplied below. Mellow Magazine Telephone 965 635 538 Email Jerry 647 597 319 Advertising firstname.lastname@example.org Lorraine 607 489 815 email@example.com Please note the closing date for receipt of adverts is the 15th of the preceding month. The Mellow Magazine accepts no responsibility for services, work or goods provided by any of our advertisers. This magazine must not be reproduced or used for any purpose without first obtaining written permission.
Understanding Your Computer Routine maintenance for your PC Like with every thing else preventive maintenance seems a bit of a chore. However, regular maintenance can ensure that your computer is maintained at optimum efficiency. In other words, if you do not maintain your machine, at the least, you will notice a degradation in performance (it will get slower). Also, over time, Windows itself degrades and needs to be reinstalled; regular maintenance can delay the need for this. Many of the programs we will ask you to run take a long time to complete their tasks and during this time the computer runs abnormally slowly. So it is often best to run them when you are not intending to use your computer. It may be that you run them when you have finished using your computer or last thing at night and allow them to run over night. The majority need minimal input from you or ask for input at the end of the program. Before you begin such maintenance it makes sense to get rid of files you do not need. Surprisingly there are a lot of these as Windows and the programs that form part of Windows (principally Internet Explore or any of the Internet surfing programs) produce files by the score in their normal functioning. Also, when you delete a file it is not removed from the disk but moved to the Recycle Bin where they sit until you empty it. You empty the recycle bin via Windows Explorer or your desktop. In either case right click on the icon (at the bottom of the left-hand pan on Windows Explorer, often on the bottom right of the Desktop), then click “Empty Recycle Bin”, then click “Yes” to confirm. This may take a minute or two to complete, be patient. To get rid of the Temporary Internet Files. You start up Internet Explorer, click “Tools”, and then click “Internet Options”. In the middle portion of the dialog box that opens up you will see a section entitled “Temporary Internet Files”. Now it merits a mention what each of the file groups for which there are buttons are. Cookies can be useful in that these are files put onto your computer by websites to store personal information about to save you having to enter details time and time again (however see the article on “Spyware”). If you want to delete these click the “Delete Cookies” button. The “Delete Files” button deletes the general temporary files created by Internet Explorer which are copies of the files that make up websites you visit. There is no problem with deleting these and you should at least click this button. Then click “OK” to confirm; unless you have set up website to be viewed offline you will not need to check the “Delete all offline content” box. This can take several minutes to complete, again be patient. As you are going to be undertaking large amounts of disk access it is wise to back-up all of your precious data onto some sort of removable storage device. Now to start the real maintenance of the system and disks. When Windows writes a file to a disk it looks at the disk and finds the first available empty space. Now this space may or may not be big enough for the whole file that
needs to be written. If it is too small, Windows writes what it can of the file in the space then looks for the next available space to write the next bit and so on. As you can imagine with a large file with lots of small spaces this can result in the file being split into fragments that are scattered all over the disk. Over time this can result in lots of files being fragmented in this way. Now, when you next come to read such a file (open it or edit it) Windows has to hop all over the disk to compile all the bits together, this takes time (we are talking thousandths of second but it all adds up). As you can imagine this also happens with Windows system files so you system slows down. To overcome this problem you need to Defragment your disk. You can access this program by going into Windows explorer (see March article), right clicking on the disk in question, clicking Properties from the drop down menu then select Tools then clicking Defragment Now. You can “Analyze” the disk first if you want to. The result of the analysis will tell you if a defragmentation is necessary or not. If it is then simply click “Defragment” to start the process. During the process if you change the disk content by writing to the disk, the process starts over, so you are better of leaving the computer to get on with it. This may take a couple of hours to complete. Given that virus checkers and anti-spyware programs are not infallible in picking up on the entry of viruses and spyware onto your system it is a good idea to run a full scan of your system to ensure no viruses or spyware are lurking on your disk somewhere. How you do this will clearly depend on the particular software you have. However, it is fairly safe to say that a full scan will probably take any program a couple of hours to complete. So, now, I suppose you want to know how often you should do this. This is not so easy to say as it depends on how much and of what type of use you make of your computer. At SandS Computers our computers are in use in some cases seven hours a day for five days a week and undertake a lot of internet access. We follow a regime as below for high use, many users will be moderate use; however, you should make your own judgment as to what type of use you make. Type Of Use Defragment Virus & Spyware Scan High Use Monthly Weekly Moderate Use 3 monthly 2 weekly Low Use 6 monthly Monthly The ‘Understanding Your Computer’ articles are supplied by SandS Computers. Their advert can be found on page 30.
To Place An Advert Call Jerry on 965 635 538 or 647 597 319 or email your details to firstname.lastname@example.org Advertising in the Mellow Magazine starts from as little as 5€ per week See our website at www.mellowmagazine.com where you’ll find classifieds, job vacancies, news, weather reports, flight checks etc. Send your letters, recipes, short stories etc. to email@example.com
An Indian Adventure For many years I have lived with the belief that I alone in the world found Indian food too hot. In recent years, however, I have discovered that there are many people like me, often put off by an early experience where the food was of poor quality, or where the food was far too heavily spiced. I mentioned this to Anil Patel of The Maharajah Indian Restaurant in Villajoyosa and he suggested that I should try again with him. And so it was that one evening in early April I found myself sitting, with some trepidation, in his restaurant. He suggested I start with a mixed plate of Minced Lamb Samosa, Chicken Tikka & Lamb And Chicken Sheek Kabab. This was mostly very tasty and only a little spicy with the Samosas. I then tried Mango Chicken and found to my surprise that it was almost too sweet - not spicy at all. A sample of Chicken Tikka Methi followed which proved more spicy but very nice. So, if you’re like I was and have been put off Indian food by early experiences, then give a quality restaurant like The Maharaja a try. Tell them your tastes and let them help you decide what you should try. I, for one, am glad I tried it again.
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Solve the answers to the clues, the number is how many letters and the letter is the last letter in the answer. E.g. change the lime to go the distance, (4, e.) Answer mile Then take the first letter from each answer and read the clue at the end and solve the puzzle. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
A short rest from work (3, 5, k) This angel changes to go fishing (5, e) A cheerful dwarf (5, y) How many green bottles (3, n) Twenty keep count (5, e) Live to be wicked (4, l) Same clue as 6 but different answer (4, e) In one piece (6, t) Top of the shop (6, y) Your mother is all in bandages (5, y) Itch for a requisition (4, t) Not outside (7, s) A purple colour of the rainbow (6, o) What word can go in front of, or at the end of these to make new words? Buds, Good, Acquired, (5, e) Is this goat caring for your children? (5, y) A chilly house? (5, o) Don’t put them all in one basket (4, s) It’s in front of, or on top of your shoulders (5, d ) OO7 is around the circle on your finger, for you to bounce (7, y) It finishes around the den (3, d) She packed her trunk to join the circus (5, y) Bad taste becomes a mess (5, e)
All of the 22 first letters of the answers make up an anagram of six words consisting of 1, 6, 2, 4, 5, and 4 letters, and the clue is ‘Get that needle and thread out now.’ Our thanks go to Sheila Harris, who lives in the Ayora Valley, for continuing to supply the Quizzes each month. The answers are on page 38.
EAGER INSURANCE AGENCY Do you require help organising Residencia, NIE, a Funeral, Repatriation, Health Insurance Call Evelyn on 965 63 08 71 or 607 32 11 98 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Learning Spanish ¿De dónde eres? - Where are you from? I thought that this month we could have a look at how to talk a little about ourselves and the above question is one of the first that we foreigners get asked. In reply we can say, soy de Ingalterra, Escocia, Gales, Irlanda - I’m from England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland or we can give the name of our home town instead of our country of origin. Another frequent question is ¿En que trabajas? ¿A qué te dedicas? What do you work at /do you do? Soy estudiante/peluquero – I’m a student/a hairdresser. I’m not going to fill up the page with a long list of professions but you could go and look up your own job in the dictionary – buscar tu propio trabajo en el diccionario.And, remember you don’t need to use an article, a or an, in front of it: soy fontanero not soy un fontanero - I’m a plumber. Some other common questions when you are getting to know someone are: ¿Esta casado? - Are you married? Si/No ¿Tienes hermanos? Have you got any brothers or sisters? Si, tengo un hermano y una hermana – Yes, I have a brother and a sister. ¿Tienes hijos? - Have you got any children? Si, tenemos tres, un hijo y dos hijas – Yes, we have three: a son and two daughters. ¿Cuantos años tiene (él/ella)? - How old is he/she? Tiene cinco – He/she’s 5 ¿Cuantos años tienen? How old are they? Tiene la mayor diecisiete y la pequeña tiene seis. - The eldest is 17 and the little one is 6 (both girls “la”). As you can see the last three questions all use the same verb in Spanish but in English we use a different verb to talk about our age. In Spanish as well as using the verb tener – to have, to talk about our possessions we also use it to talk about ages. So, tengo veintiun años – I’m 21 years old. It may sound a bit odd at first but you’ll soon get used to it and “having” your years seems quite logical and perhaps even a bit more positve than “being” them! The other thing we have to learn about verbs in Spanish is how they change with each person – good for exercising our memories! On the positive side, as the ending changes for each person, we don’t have to use the pronoun yo, tu, etc./I, you, etc. Tener – to have (yo) tengo – I have (nosotros) tenemos – we have (tú) tienes – you have (vosotros) tenéis – you (plural) have (él/ella) tiene – he/she has (ellos/ellas) tienen – they have By the time you are reading this the only bank holiday – fiesta (1 de mayo) this month - este mes, will already have passed so you’ll have no excuse for not doing your Spanish homework. This article was supplied by Nik Dunne of Lexis Idiomas, based in El campello and Jijona. See their advert on page 30. 10
Neighbourhood Watch Although Spain is undoubtedly a safer and more secure place to live than the UK has been for many years, it is a sad fact of life these days that almost everyone has either experienced a home burglary or knows someone who has. Burglary is usually an opportunist crime where a target is selected that offers the least number of obstacles. If your house represents itself as being unoccupied and insecure then it is far more likely to be burgled than one that is properly, and visually, protected. Dogs in the yard and alarms are often the first step people take, but unfortunately alarms sounding and dogs barking are rather too common to be as effective anymore. Neighbourhood Watch was an idea that has made a significant difference in many parts of the world, including Spain, but suffers from the problem that most people are asleep during the night when many break ins occur. A new service in the area aims to fill that gap by keeping a watch on properties during the night. Their approach works alongside your own security procedures and could significantly reduce the chances of your property becoming another statistic. The company is called Nightwatch and they provide a nightly visual presence to help keep would-be burglars elsewhere. You can find out more about how they work by seeing their advertisement in this issue, or give them a call on 678 120 462.
As A Matter Of Fact Hi • • •
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Spain has nearly 45 million people making it the 28th most populated country in the world and the sixth most populated in Europe. Fluoride is the bio-accumululative active toxic that we all ingest every day either through the drinking water or toothpaste. In 1940 Dr.S.S. B Ryukhonenko, at the Institute of Experiments in Physiology and Therapy, Voronezh, U.S.S.R conducted research where he experimented with dogs and proved that dogs head can live without its body for three days. If you spell out every number beginning at number one, you would have to reach the number one thousand before you would use the letter A. Did you know that : 111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 Weird, hey? WD40 stands for Water Displacement 40th formula. Norm Larsen a chemist, named the product while he was attempting to concoct a formula to prevent corrosion by displacing water. Only one book has distributed more copies than the Bible - The Ikea catalogue. Do you have one? Frozen lobsters can come back to life when thawed! Children grow faster in the springtime than any other season during the year. The bark of an older redwood tree is fireproof. Only female mosquitoes bite humans and drink their blood. Male mosquitoes are much bigger than females, but they are harmless to the humans. The top three richest people have made their money in the Computer, Newspaper and Steel industries. Monday is the only day of the week that has an anagram: dynamo The smallest, shallowest ocean on Earth: The Arctic Ocean. A parrot cannot get appendicitis.... Long Wheel Base High Top Van they don’t have one. and Driver Available. The city of Edinburgh, Scotland is built on top of an extinct volcano. Ideal for Shakespeare’s daughter was House removals illiterate.
Thanks. Sally x To share your facts with Sally contact her by email at sallyallen1hotmail.com
Man With A Van
Office moves Those extra large items
Call Ian on 648 835 377 or 627 703 521
Charities, Clubs And Events HELP Association, Campello, San Juan and District. The HELP Association is celebrating their 25th Anniversary on April 24th with a lunch at La Cova. This celebration will mark the tremendous work started by a small group of people some of whom are still involved. The Organisation, with other similar Help Associations along the Costa Blanca, provides an English speaking voluntary community service for people in need of support at times of medical & other types of emergencies. The organisation also has some aids such as wheelchairs, crutches available for short term loan. HELP is always looking for Volunteers with a variety of skills - Interpreting at Dr.’s & Hospital appointments is important and we need bilingual people to help us. Other supporters are required too so if you feel you can help HELP to help distressed people in our Community then please contact: Francoise Cawley, Chairperson by telephone on 96 563 82 59. RAINBOW GROUP COSTA BLANCA. Support group offering help and support for Gay, Lesbian and Transexuals. All age groups. 666 911 545 The ‘Sociedad Protectora de Animales y Plantas’ runs a dog shelter close to the urbanization Castalla Internacional. If you feel that you could rehome a dog or maybe you would consider sponsoring one, you may like to give a donation or you are thinking of being a volunteer, please contact us by sending an e-mail to: email@example.com or alternatively Call: Juan, the president of the Sociedad Protectora: 646682209, Spanish speaking (08.30 – 13.00) , Sue, volunteer: 690719675, English and Spanish speaking (10.00 – 14.00 and 17.00 - 19.00hrs) , Marilène, volunteer: 965562085 or 669755920, English, Dutch and Spanish speaking. (10.00 – 14.00 and 17.00 - 19.00) Or come to visit the shelter, between 9 and 11 o’clock every morning. For more information: www.protectoradecastalla.com Ballroom Dancing Club held every Wednesday at the Hotel Jorge, El Campello between 7pm & 9pm. All welcome. More info call Sue on 635211790 Ladies’ Exercise Class Polideportivo, Busot. On Wednesdays at 18.00-19.00 for general fitness & 19.00-20.00 for jazz exercise. On Fridays at 17.30-18.30 for general exercise & 18.30-19.30 for jazz exercise. Come along & get fit, there’s no charge. For more information call Beatrix on 618043582 or 965959195 Costa Blanca Anglican Chaplaincy. El Campello Church hold a church service each Sunday at 12.00 in a chapel behind the main church in the grounds of the “Salesianos” School. Everybody is very welcome. Coming by road from El Campello take the beach road to Alicante, go past Lidl’s & the petrol station. After crossing the bridge over the dry river bed turn right at the second set of traffic lights (Bernat Metge). Ignore the No Entry sign, go straight up the hill & under the arch into the School car park. If coming by tram get off at the stop marked “Salesianos”. If in doubt you can telephone Flavia 666002519 or Liz 96 565 28 45 or see our website www.costablancaanglicanchaplaincy.org 17
Charities, Clubs And Events (continued) Busot Ladies Club, Casa de Cultura meet from 10.00 until 13.30hrs on Mondays apart from fiestas. Please renew your membership. Come & join us for a coffee & a chat. For more info contact Mary on 965699291. Email contact can be made to: firstname.lastname@example.org May 5th “getting to know you” game May 12th “woodcarving” with Geoff May 17th coach trip to Jalon Rastro markets May 19th To be arranged May 26th “ “ “ Busot will be celebrating international week on the 16th, 17th and 18th May. There will be games, demonstrations of crafts, and competitions. A carboot sale and rastro will be held on the 18th May , so clear out all your unwanted items either to sell or donate.If you need more information please contact Teresa on 965699407 or Margaret on 627 229 442. The English Speaking Club, San Juan & District Los Perales, Camino Real de Villajoyosa 22, El Campello. Tel.: 965943995. or email email@example.com The club has more than 400 English speaking, active members from many nationalities who meet on a Wednesday and a Sunday between 12 noon and 2.30pm. Come along and find out about our available activities and when they take place. They include Art group, Patchwork Quilting, Linedancing, Quizzes, Whist, as well as a monthly dinner dance. Run by volunteers & with bar prices that can’t be equalled. Make friends & join the fun. Asociacion Protectora de Animales de El Campello. APAC. Our charity shop is on Avda Germanies is open Mon - Sat 10am - 2pm. Telephone 965633547. 24-hour mobile number 687398507. Become a member of our Association or make a donation direct by contacting C.A.M. cuenta 209000663000401192-73. To adopt one of our dogs contact Eve on 965699028. All our animals are given a clean bill of health before adoption. Without your support & our hard working volunteers a lot of animals would suffer. You may not have time in your life to own a dog full time but for as little as 2€ per week you can sponsor one of our dogs. Your sponsorship donations will go towards the upkeep of your sponsored dog and that of others who are being looked after by APAC. For more information contact Ian 965634899 or 677993649. BELLY DANCING in Campello. Thursdays at Bar Pequeño, Pueblo Español, Campello from 11.30-12.45 Come along, get exotic & exercise while having fun. For more information contact Sue on 635211790
Tell everyone of your charity events through the Mellow Magazine website - www.mellowmagazine.com Contact Jeremy for further details - Tel. 965 635 538 or 647597319 18
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Castalla is a town of approximately 8,000 people situated around 30 Km inland from Alicante. It is now quite easy to reach from El Campello and the north using the new motorway to San Vicente; from there it is only a short drive up into the mountains. Probably the first landmark you will see as you approach the town is the 11th century Moorish castle perched high on the hill, currently being restored. There are many other interesting things to see in the town, including the 16th century Catholic Church of the AsunciĂłn and the 17th century Town Hall building. The Saturday market was first held in 1311 and has continued ever since, with a Tuesday market being added more recently. Several English shops and businesses are to be found, including a Fish & Chip shop where you might like to take some refreshment (evenings only apart from market days). On the 18-20th May 2008, the Fair of San Isidro is held, with a medieval market, trade fair and entertainment. In August you can see the Fiesta de Vaca, and in September the Moors and Christians. Castalla has much to recommend it to the visitor so next time you want a trip to some of the â€œrealâ€? Spain then give this mountain top town a visit.
Legal Page LEGAL ADVICE BY EVA SEGURA ABOGADO - LAWYER C/. JUAN SEBASTIAN ELCANO NÂş35 03560 EL CAMPELLO. ALICANTE TLF: 9188.8.131.52 firstname.lastname@example.org Business hours: 10:00-14:00 hours INHERITANCE TAX FOR RESIDENTS IN THE COMUNIDAD VALENCIANA Dear readers, in the article this month and on request of Barbara, one of our numerous loyal readers, I will concentrate on the topic Inheritance Tax, which is the tax that taxes the value of the acquisition of goods and rights, as a result of an inheritance, passing on or any other beneficiary title. When a person passes away and leaves behind goods to their heirs, they will generally be obliged to pay this tax. The inheritance tax is a tax differently handled in all Spanish autonomous communities, which means that each autonomous community has got its right to establish the norms that regulates the rates, tax base reductions, discounts as well as its formalities and collection. Therefore, the inheritance tax will be different in each autonomous community in Spain. If the death has taken place in the year 2006 or before then, the reductions are less because if the value of the acquisition is more than 40.000 Euros you will have to tax on everything that is over that figure. If the death has taken place after 1st January 2007, an exemption and discounts are being applied which I will show you now. The value of the acquisition of goods and rights received from the deceased is not more than 40.000 Euros, meaning that the heir is exempted from paying tax. Everything else that is more than 40.000 Euros, the rest of the sum higher than this figure will have a discount of 99%, as soon as the heir receives it whether they are a descendent, ascendant or partner of the deceased. Basically, we can say that really as the inheritance tax you will end up paying just a symbolic amount. In order to receive the discount of 99%, the deceased and the heir who receives the inheritance must have been residents in the Valencian community during the last 5 years, counting from the date of death of the deceased. This must be proved by showing the Registration Certificate (Padron) from the local Town Hall where you live, or where you have been living as long as it is in the Valencian community. You all, who are the usual readers of this magazine, know already how to differentiate between being a resident and being a fiscal resident. In this case, when I am talking about residents, it is not necessary that you are fiscal residents in order to benefit from this exemption and discounts. On the other hand, the non-residents cannot benefit from the discounts established by the Valencian community, for which the State regulations will be come into force when you are non-residents. Example: Tiina and her husband are registered in the Town Hall since 29th April 2003. Unfortunately, TiinaÂ´s husband dies on 1st May 2008, leaving her a house valued at 24
240.000 Euros. The first 40.000 Euros are exempted from the inheritance tax, and the rest of 200.000 Euros, by being residents in the Valencian community during the last 5 years, has got a reduction of 99%. Therefore the tax base would only be 2.000 Euros, applying the due percentage rate and an extremely low amount is the tax amount to be paid. In the case that if TiinaÂ´s husband would have died on 1st January 2008, she would not have had the right to the discount of 99% of the rest of the amount and therefore the statal legislation would have been applied to this case. In the next article I will speak about the inheritance tax for non-residents, or for those who do not have a registration in the Town Hall for the last 5 years in the Valencian community. Even when the inheritance tax is exempt, or by the application of the discounts the amount to be paid is extremely low, you are still obliged to present the declaration at the Conselleria de Economia i Hacienda of the Valencian community, since by not presenting the State can proceed with a fine record against you. To conclude I will need to tell you that outstanding amount to be paid in connection with the inheritance tax does not have to be declared in the fiscal residents declaration during the year in which you accept the inheritance, but in the year after, since according to Art. 6.4 of the Income Tax Law (Ley del IRPF) both taxes are incompatible, which means that the same income cannot be taxed in both tax declarations. My advice is that you take care of all those that love you, and above all think about having a will done in Spain for all the properties that you have in mind for your beloved. By having a Spanish will, apart from also being emotionally hurt by their loss of a beloved, you will also avoid them a lot of trouble and inconvenience which can be caused by dying without having a will. The Legal Page is Supplied by Eva Segura. For further information contact her direct on the above telephone number.
Local Market Days Monday
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Local Translator / Interpreter Per s onal and bus iness, meetings, pho ne c a l l s , vi s i ts , l e tte r s , documents.... Help with N.I.E / Residency, Notaries, Schools, Doctors & Hos pitals, Proper ty, Police and Paperwork. Rates from 10â‚Ź/hour or 5cents/wor d Call Mar k on 639- 692985
GUAPAS - Fashion in Plus Sizes Situated in San Juan town next to the entrance to the Consum supermarket car park in C. Doctor Ivorra. Jeans/casual, smart and party clothes for the larger lady in sizes 44-66 (UK 14-36), for young and more mature. We speak English. Call 639 692 985 for directions.
The Hippopotamus and the Tortoise NAIROBI (AFP) - A baby hippopotamus that survived the tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast has formed a strong bond with a giant male century-old tortoise in an animal facility in the port city of Mombassa, officials said. The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean , then forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him. ‘It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very happy with being a ‘mother’,’ ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of Lafarge Park , told AFP. ‘After it was swept away and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatized. It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother. Fortunately, it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. ‘They swim, eat and sleep together,’ the ecologist added. ‘The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it followed its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother,’ Kahumbu added. ‘The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their mothers for four years,’ she explained. ‘Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.’ This is a real story that shows that our differences don’t matter much when we need the comfort of one another. We could all learn a lesson from these two creatures of God, ‘Look beyond the differences and find a way to walk the path together.’ 27
It’s Party Time Make The Most Of Summer With A Garden Party Or BBQ! We Deliver Cool Draught Beer To Your Door, Just Like You Get At The Local Bars But Much Much Cheaper! From About 1€ a pint Everything You Need Is All Delivered, Set Up And After The Party We’ll Come And Remove It. It’s Cheaper And More Convenient For You - No More Need To Carry Bottles Or Cans From The Supermarket And Then Chill Them - With Draught Beer It Is Chilled For You. Get That Party Organised And Call Us Today!
email : email@example.com 28
Telephone 661 145 105
Lest We Forget- News From Yesteryear
Compiled By Robert Littler
Obtained from Daily Mail newspaper archives of the last one hundred years, Robert Littler has put together an interesting selection of news articles. “I find as I get older myself and along with other people of the older generation, we become more nostalgic and relate very much to what happened in our younger days and place great value on it, hence, ‘ Lest we forget ‘. Many of the ex pats living in Spain will remember a lot of the series of events that I wish to relate. Those younger can regard the articles as a learning curve. Little appeared with regards to Spain and its people during the hundred years of the newspaper, apart from the 1936 reports, and with this being our host country and our chosen abode, I would like to use them out of courtesy.”
Civil War Raging In Spain. Midnight Battle Near Gibraltar: Anti communists from Morocco marching on Madrid. British warships and troops stand by: Malaga “Burning”: 200 Britons in town. Civil war was raging in Spain early this morning. Despite a vigorous censorship and severance of telegraphic communication, special dispatches report that anti communist insurgents who on Friday seized Spanish Morocco are in control of the Canary and Balearic Islands, have landed in large numbers at Algeciras and Cadiz, and are marching northward against Madrid. At midnight heavy fighting was in progress at La Linea, the Spanish frontier town on the outskirts of Gibraltar. Following artillery and machine-gun fire the streets were reported “littered with dead.” Two British warships are standing by at Gibraltar to evacuate British subjects from Spanish territory if necessary. Spain changed her Cabinet three times yesterday, though for the moment, with Señor Jose Giral at the head, it remains communist. Here are other incidents of the revolt: MALAGA, where there is a British colony of 200, reported “in flames.” TELEPHONE COMMUNICATION between London and Gibraltar and London and Portugal cut off. The services pass through Madrid. REBELS BOMBED by warplanes at Cadiz, Ceuta, Melilla, Tetuan - where children were killed - and other places. Barcelona reported “either bombed or shelled.” In an effort to check the insurrection, the Spanish Government has ordered all cities to organise “combat squads” of citizens who are to be given arms. Thanks to Robert for his continuing supply of articles for the Mellow Magazine. 29
Ed. Pescadores C/ San BartolomĂŠ, 128
(entrance in C/ San Fransisco)
03560 El Campello
New Spanish Classes Enrolling Now
At Lexis we focus on helping you with spoken Spanish while not neglecting the grammar, so you learn more quickly as well as more easily. Most classes are held in the morning from 9 to 10:30 or from 10 to 11:30, twice a week Office Hours Tues & Thurs 09:15 to 13:15 18:00 to 20:30 Monday 18:00 to 20:30 Wednesday 17:00 to 20:30 Telephone 965 63 66 96
Praxis Dr. Friedrich Centro MĂŠdico Clinic Number 04685
We are a private medical centre, fully licensed & with English speaking doctors.
Dr. D. Miguel Corty Friedrich C/ Dr Brotons 28, Bajo C Next to the National Health Surgery
Tel: 965 633 768/607 339 123 Web: www.clinicapraxis.net
General Medicine and Homeopathy Opthalmology Cardiology General Surgery Urology Surgery Opening Hours - 10 - 13.00h Cosmetic Surgery Blood Analysis We also make house calls. Orthopaedic Surgery Physiotherapy
Centro Comercial Poble Nou Calle del Muro El Campello
New and Used Computers Repairs and Upgrades Training and Advice Internet Service Available Ask About Our Mobile Phone Deals We pride ourselves on talking English, not technobabble. 965 636 288 www.sandscomputers.es
And The Moral Of The Story ...... A turkey was chatting with a bull. ‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’ ‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ Replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’ The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.. Moral of the story: Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.. A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story: 1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. 2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut! A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’ ‘Me first! Me first!’ Says the admin. clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’ Puff! She’s gone. ‘Me next! Me next!’ Says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’ Puff! He’s gone. ‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’ Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. 31
A Guide To Spain’s Maddest Fiestas Welcome to the how2holidayspain.com guide to the maddest fiestas in Spain The Spanish people need little excuse for a party, but some of the fiestas can appear somewhat strange to us more staid northern Europeans. Here, we will try to provide a description of the fiestas, and try at least to offer something in the way of an explanation of their origins. We reserve judgement on the various fiestas held. Some are macarbre, others cruel, others downright strange, but most of them involve a townspeople letting their hair down and having a great time. Some are hilarious in their concept, others marvellous to see. Whichever way you feel, you’ll be made welcome by the revellers. Join in if you dare!
The Naval Battle of Vallecas To find the Port of Vallecas, so as to view the famous Naval Battle, from any coastal point in Spain, face inland, get in the car and drive at least 300km towards Madrid. For Vallecas is, due to a somewhat unfortunate oversight, a barrio (a residential area) of Madrid, near junction 8 of the Autovia del Este, the A-3 motorway to the east of Madrid. The residents of Vallecas will assure you, seemingly against all sane reasoning, that Vallecas is a seaport, and that they have a coastline. They will explain to you that the barrio being situated some 300km from the sea is of minimal importance, and irrelevant to the barrio’s status of seaport. Your maps, your brand-new Tom-Tom sat-nav and your by now faltering grip on reality will tell you that you are in a suburb of Madrid, some 300km/190miles from the coast, but it’s probably wise just to ‘go with the flow’ on this one, and not to share such geographical doubts with your deluded hosts - for this, my friends, is one of the craziest fiestas in Spain. The third weekend in July this year will see the celebration of the Naval Battle of Vallecas. At around 5pm, the inhabitants of the barrio come out onto the street, dressed in their naval finery. Pirates, buccaneers, harpooners, filibusters, sailors and all sundry naval personnel gather together, armed to the teeth not with cutlasses and muskets, but with water pistols, super soakers and buckets. The cry goes up – “Agua, Agua, Queremos Agua!”, which, translated means Water, Water, We Want Water ! Their pleas are rewarded forthwith, as those residents still in their houses and apartments, drench the naval folk with water via buckets, pots and pans, hosepipes – whatever is most likely to soak the cheering throng below their balconies. A mass pitched battle ensues, with all around getting a thoroughly good-natured soaking. The defiant (and deluded) cry goes up, “Vallecas, Puerto Del Mar”, meaning Vallecas, Port on the Sea, and the battle continues until all around are exhausted. At around 9pm, all having changed into dry clothes, the party starts, and music, dancing and fireworks light up the night in this strangest of ports. Don’t expect to come away from Port Vallecas until the early hours. It may take a couple of days for the smile on your face to ease a little bit, but the moistened memories of these good32
spirited loonies will live with you. Get into your fancy dress. (You knew that pirate costume would come in handy one day didnâ€™t you?) and spend a warm Madridean Summer evening having some great juvenile fun! In SpainÂ´s Maddest Fiestas Next Month Now why in the world would a decomposing rat become the trigger for revelry? Find Your Perfect Holiday Property at www.how2holidayspain.com Travel guides to all major resorts, theme parks, golf courses and more.
An English speaking, friendly and helpful service from your local eye specialist offering Full eye tests including ee ts Fr es Glaucoma testing. T ye E A Complete Contact Lens Service
Special 2 for 1 Offer
Buy one pair of glasses and get a second pair free
(2nd pair is from a limited range - ask for details)
You will find us on San Bartolomé next to Vodafone opposite Mercadona Avda. San Bartolomé, 34 El Campello Telf / Fax: 96 563 50 28 34
Useful Telephone Numbers
Casa de Cultura 965636491 Hospital San Juan 965938700 Post Office (Correos) 965630318 Health Centre 965637106 Ad. Education Centre 965632927 Taxis 965101611 Town hall 965637200 Railway Station 965262731 Tourist Information 965634606 Instituto Clot L’illot 965632854 Colegio Pla de Barraques 965631601 Colegio El Vincle 965632790 Colegio Rafael Altamira 965630142 Instituto Clot L’illot 965632854 Instituto Enric Valor 965636455 Guardia Civil 965630418 / 062 Policía Local 965637099 / 965634444 Suma Office 965636255 / 965636193
Busot Health Centre Social worker Police /Policia
965699487 Casa de Cultura 965698072 965698030 Town Hall 965699092 965698181/607385522
Villajoyosa Casa de Cultura 965894250 Library 965891698 Municipal Police 965890050 Hospital Marina Baixa 966859800 Taxis 965894545
Post Office 966850500 Town Hall 966851001 Guardia Civil 965891143 Tourist Info 66851371
Alfaz del Pi/Albir Alfaz Town Hall 965885265 Taxis (Alfaz/Albir) 966810010 Alfaz Health Centre 965889894 Albir Health Centre 966864110 Tourist Info Alfaz 965888905 Tourist Info Albir 966867022 Aguagest (Water) Alfaz 965889102 Local Police (Alfaz) 965887100/7200
Transport Alicante Airport 966919400 Alicante Bus Station 965130700
Renfe 902240202 Alsa (Coaches) 902422242
Other Numbers Telefonica (client attention) 1004 All Emergencies 112 British Consulate 965216022 Iberdrola (Electricity) 965632067 / 901202020 Aguas de Alicante (Water) 965637248 / 900717717
Classified Section Services
Doctor Nicolas RICHEZ Psychiatrist/Psychotherapist Paris Faculty of MedicineStress – Anxiety – Depression – Traumas - Hyperactivity - Obsessive Compulsive Disorders - Personality Disorders - Eating Disorders Clinica Praxis, C/. Dr. Brotóns, 28 03560 EL CAMPELLO Phone: 638 852 053 English, French and Spanish spoken – 25 years of experience
Domestic Appliance & Electrical Repairs by experienced engineer. Washing Machines, Cookers, Microwaves etc. Tel. 965 960 665 / Mobile 687 625 642
Qualified Builder: Kitchen & Bathroom Extensions, Plumbing, Tiling, Electrics etc. Alfaz del Pi & surrounding areas. No Job Too Small 966860008 or 637181116
General Plumbing & Central Heating Installations & Repairs. Established since 1979. Phone Richard on Mobile 680 190 794 / Home 965 975 019
Mobile dog grooming service. 25 years experience. Grooming from 15€. Busot, El Campello, Muchamiel areas. Tel. Diane on 687 625 642
Carpet and Suite Cleaning. Safe and quick-drying. Book now for a spring clean. Call Stewart. 666 945 171
Holiday Petsitting Let us care for your pets in the familiarity of your own home. Less stress for your pets, more confidence for you, knowing your home remains occupied although you are away and your pets stay in their usual comfortable routine. We are the realistic alternative to kennels and cattery! Call Janet now on 965 221 351.
Do you live in Spain? You need to speak Spanish. Telephone Max or Carole on 965 633947
Experienced in waitressing, changeover cleaning, office admin., home typing, working with horses, driving, Mutxamel, El Campello area. Please email firstname.lastname@example.org English lady recently widowed seeking work. House/dog sitting, baby sitting etc. Anything considered. Within easy reach of Muchavista. Own transport. Please ring 637983392.
SALES AGENT REQUIRED. Outgoing, friendly salesperson (M/F) wanted. Working from our new branch in La Nucia, you will be calling on local businesses, offering our range of inkjet cartridges, laser toners & cartridge refills. There is huge demand for our products - every company has at least one printer! No hard-selling involved - just a nice, easy sale! Excellent commission paid to the right person. Contact Brian at Cartridge Direct on 96 689 5873 or email brian@ cartridgedirect.eu.com
Have you seen the new classified ads section on our website? Buy & Sell online now. www.mellowmagazine.com IT’S EASY!
Classified Section Sales
Pool Table. Excellent Condition, Coin Operated. With cues, rest, pool balls etc. 600€ ono Tel. (0044) 7734794394
Travel Cot, Bedding and Baby Toilet Seat. 30€ ono for everything. 965 635 202 Complete contents of three bed two bathroom town house for sale. Please call for more information. Tel. (0044) 773479394
Childs bike, suit ages 3 years upwards. Very good condition. 30€ Tel. 663174887
HONDA EM 5500 watt generator. 3 x 230 volt outputs. 1 x 380 volt output. Brand new never been used & in original packing along with accessories. New price in UK £1649-00. Asking price 1000 euros no offers. Tel. 965615220 or mobile 636002511 ( Jijona area ) Girls clothes, suit age 4-6 years, Next etc.. Dresses, skirt, shorts & tops, good for school etc. 10€. Tel. 663174887 Double Bed Mattress (135 x 190) Excellent condition and very good good quality. 50€ (El Campello) 965637266
• • •
MOBILITY SCOOTERS & powered wheelchairs, massive discounts on new & preowned machines, Prices from only 350€, Call 639050128, Muchamiel/Mutxamel
Double Bed - 1.8m x 1.35m steel framed, wooden slats & mattress. Little used. €50 ono. Chest of Drawers Dark wood, 4 drawers.93cm high, 45cm deep, 90 cm wide. Excellent condition. €20 Phone 679 231 412 or email email@example.com
Property Sales/Lets •
HELP! I am looking for a long term rental property in Campello or surrounding areas (Alkabir etc.). Must be long term, preferably unfurnished or part furnished, 3 beds, outdoor space/pool etc., urbanisation/private & obviously reasonable rent price. Can anyone help me? Tel. 663174887
For Sale. Townhouse in old town Villajoyosa. Private seaview terrace. 3 Beds. New electrics & plumbing. Full escritura. 120,000€ ono Tel. 666911545
Static mobile home to let. 8 minutes drive to beach. Short or long term let. Ready from 1st May. Tel. 679 056 626
Car Boot Items - books, toys, clothes, bric-a-brac & baby items. Will collect. Tel. Sally on 635343867 I need a manakin - the type you find in shop windows, male or female, head not important. Will pay up to 100€. Tel. 965952083
TO ADVERTISE IN THE CLASSIFIED PAGE CALL 965 635 538 OR 647 597 319 OR EMAIL YOUR ADVERTS TO firstname.lastname@example.org ALTERNATIVELY, SEND THEM VIA THE WEBSITE. ADS FOR THE WANTED SECTION ARE FREE. PRIVATE ADS UNDER 100€ ARE FREE ONLINE AND WILL ALSO APPEAR IN THE MAGAZINE WHERE SPACE IS AVAILABLE. ITEMS OVER 100€ ARE 6€ FOR UP TO 20 WORDS, 9€ UP TO 30 WORDS, 12€ UP TO 40 WORDS. NO PETS/LIVESTOCK ADS CAN BE ACCEPTED IN THE CLASSIFIED SECTION. PAYMENT MUST BE MADE BEFORE ADS APPEAR. DEADLINE FOR RECEIPT/PAYMENT OF ADS - 15TH OF EACH MONTH
Jokes & Sudoku
The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb “to walk” in simple present. The student: I walk. You walk .... 9 4 2 3 The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please. The student: I run. You run ... 2 8 4
3 5 4 7
9 7 5 3 1 2 7 9 3 8 2 6 2 8 7 9 7 5
5 8 3 1 5
9 6 2 4
Q. Why do men like smart women? A. Because opposites attract.
Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. ANAGRAM ANSWERS 1. Tea Break . Angle . Happy . Ten . Score 6. Evil . Vile . Intact . Ninety 10. Mummy 11. Chit 1. Indoors 1. Indigo 1. Taste 1. Nanny 16. Igloo 1. Eggs 1. Ahead 1. SP(ring)Y 0. End 1. Nelly . State Final answer - a stitch in time saves nine
The computer swallowed grandma. Yes, honestly its true! She pressed ‘control’ and ‘enter’ And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I’ve searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I’ve even used the Internet, But nothing did I find. In desperation, I asked Google My searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, Not a thing was found ‘on-line.’ So, if inside your ‘Inbox,’ My Grandma you should see, Please copy, scan and paste her And send her back to me. This is a tribute to all the Grandmas who have been fearless and learned to use the Computer. They’re the greatest!
Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino? A. El-If-I-No. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it is called golf! And finally...... If you can smile when things go wrong, you obviously have someone else in mind to blame it on.
AIR CONDITIONING BY
BEL-AIR Est. 1998
We supply & fit: Panasonic, Daikin, Mitsubishi, L.G, Samsung, etc.. or maybe - your old machine just needs a service We also supply: Pool Heaters, Pool Covers, Solar Panels, or Solar Mats for pools FOR SERVICE, QUALITY & EXPERIENCE PHONE NICK TUCKER All major credit cards accepted
Tel/Fax 965 69 90 80 or 965 69 99 54 *Mobile 670 29 78 48 email: email@example.com
Restaurante La Venteta Mutxamel On the road between Mutxamel and Tangel
Trad. Sunday Lunches (Booking Advisable) 2th May Live Music wih James and Menu 18th May Traditional Sunday Lunch and Live Music with James 25th May Trad. English Sunday Lunch and Live Music with Holger
Tommys Birthday Party 28th May Start 2.00pm BBQ, Buffet and surprise Entertainment â‚¬
667761804 / 965955399
New opening times 1pm - 4pm 7pm - to late Tuesday closed New! Lunch time Menu 39
A local magazine for the Costa Blanca