MARVELOUSMARVINBOONE
THE BLUES AT THE Smm smpsonm mTiTUTE? Many great blues artists would
probably
their souls to be cartoon characters.
sell
Only
in
America could The Simpsons Sing The Blues go platinum in one weekllf only BB King looked
We Americans are
fascinated
much at first
boogie too
(it
didn't
right away), but after hearing
or so,
Fred Flintstone.
like
our kids have made ussickof, "DoThe Bartman." I actually didn't mind the mindless beatbox
it
make me
sick
a trillion times
has started to wear thin.
The second cut
by things that
it
is
the
Chuck Berry
classic,
don't really exist. Perpetual motion, time travel,
"School Day," a touching duet from Bart and
and a perfect cup of coffee. The one imaginary thing we go nuts over is people and animals made of ink: cartoons. Walt Disney must have had some insight to
Buster Poindexter featuring some Joe Walsh guitar. Walsh's guitar ain't bad but hearing this
Elvis,
phenomenon,
this
for
he created a
rat that a
monument would be built for and then that monument was so successful it became a city unto
itself,
that
anyone could
didn't look too scruffy
you I
am
been
visit as
long as
and had some cash.
sure that the music world has always of cartoon characters. Milli Vanilli
full
Chipmunks
jokes aside, there has been The
(my favorite and role models for the Bee Gees), The Banana Splits, The Archies, The Beagles, Lancelot Line and The Evolution Revolution and The Monkees. Even one of the muppets had a million selling record with Ernie of Sesame Street, singing
my
song of love
favorite
to a
nibberduck, of course, "Rubber Duckie." There is now a new batch of imaginary blues
makes you wish Chuck Berry still cared. Chuck Berry,MuddyWatersand other blues greats will probably never
Vaughan
among
is
us in a big way. Forget the
bumper
posters,
now
crying and The Simpsons are
stickers, keychains,
like action figures of these
t-shirts,
and
life-
as
many records
sold a huge quantity of "product" last
and he
year,
will
never get any of the money.
The Simpsons of course, not really existing, will get no money. But the Simpsons' creator, Matt Groeningand the record company will be making happy trips to the bank. If only Howlin' Wolf looked like Yogi Bear he might have died a millionaire! Instead he
lived in relative poverty and failing health in his
Howlin' Wolf had the right idea
last days.
though when he sang "I may not have a million dollars but I have spent more than a million-
He had more fun than
aire."
the
Simpsons will
ever have with their money.
singers that have taken the country by storm.
The sky
sell
as the Archies or the Simpsons. Only Stevie Ray
Roy Buchanan was a Smurf then he might
If
not have hung himself in a Virginia
jail cell.
There are no known incidents of Smurfs committing suicide.
pretend people.
Lucky Peterson, Sarasota Slim, Rock Bottom, and the rest of the
If
Southeast's talented blues
were cartoon char-
artists
could
acters, they
all sell
millions of records and live
happy cartoon lives. is not much
There
chance, however, of any
musicians waking up and finding themselves ani-
_^_
^pC^
^
'^•^
''
'^
mated. There
is
slightly better
chance of
only a
playing blues for a living
and actually
^
I
living.
suggest you get the
Simpsons record, take the '
The
The Simpsons Sing The Blues
disc.
is
Turn Back The Hands Of Time?". The Simpsons disc took only one week to go platinum, selling well over a million copies! Most people have to die before they will
sell
so
never
many
die.
it,
"Can
records, but
They don't
I
The Simpsons
The Simpsons will never miss a gig, get too
The Simpsons will never cry, be constimouth, or have the blues, ever. guess they would be the perfect cartoon folks
pated, have dry
to have a platinum record rise to the top of the
charts and go nowhere.
BB
King,
who
Imagine the look on your
ing,
and blood people
like
seen him),
some other
Joe Walsh, Jai Wind-
The Tower of Power Horn Section, John
Sebastian (of Lovin' Spoonful), D.J. Jazzy Dr. John,
Tom
LA
The
first
Jeff,
Express),
and
A.KA David Johansan New York Dolls.
for-
Scott (of the
Buster Poindexter
merly of the
"blues"
as
song on
little
nipper's face
he or she hears Buddy Guy or John Lee
Hooker
for the first time! That's the reason
there
no blues on the "Simpsons..."
is
Chil-
dren could go catatonic hearing something
from cartoon characters. The record pro-
real
parents claiming
down
this disc
is
a
song
Johnny flushed himself
by Howlin' Wolf was about sui-
Ask Judas Priest or Ozzy Osboume.
Bart Simpson,
me
little
the toilet because he thought "Coin'
Down Slow" cide.
he really existed, would tell
if
not to have a cow, man. I
really exists (I've
appears on this album along with flesh
it
ducers don't need lawsuits from distraught
exist.
drunk to perform or be arrested on vice charges.
I
and replace
with some real blues.
the fastest selling release so far in 1991! As
Tyrone Davis so aptly put
disc out,
would
tell
the
little
ink
and pen
I'm not having a cow, just a Actually
when
I
consider the success of
cartoon creators over doesn't want to just gives
me
sprite that
little beef.
real
life
musicians,
make me have a bovine
at
it
all. It
the blues.
Marvelous Marvin has been a Tampa DJ. for 13 years and hasn't been caught yet. Catch
him on 1040
WHBO and middays on Mix 96.